Weaning toddlers from breastfeeding

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• Gradual weaning tends to work best.
• Give your toddler something interesting to do when she’d normally be feeding.
• Break the link between feeding and sleep.

Because the end of breastfeeding is a significant change for a toddler, avoid weaning when other major changes (such as toilet training, starting child care or moving house) are taking place.

The principle of ‘never offer but never refuse’ is a good way to start the weaning process. You can introduce a few limits, such as not breastfeeding when you’re out, or only feeding after lunch during the day. You can also talk to your toddler about what will happen for a few weeks or months before you do start weaning, to give her time to get used to the idea.

It will be easier on your toddler if you remove breastfeeds one at a time, taking weeks (at least) before you drop the next one. It will also be easier on your breasts, which may become engorged if you stop suddenly. Consider dropping daytime breastfeeds first and then removing any night or bedtime feeds, as these are the ones that your toddler probably feels most needy about.

Another approach is to change your daily routine to incorporate lots of activities and outings so that your toddler is too busy and distracted to think about breastfeeding. Replacing breastfeeds with novel snacks, or providing drinks with a straw, is another good ploy. An exotic drink at a café when you’d normally be at home having a breastfeed is likely to be greeted with enthusiasm.

The‘out of sight, out of mind’ principle can also work well. Perhaps leave her with someone she’s comfortable with at those times when she would normally have a breastfeed, as she will be less likely to miss it if you’re not around. At night, try to organise for her dad or someone else to settle her with a cup of milk or water if she wakes for a breastfeed. Try to avoid dressing and undressing while your toddler is around, and wear clothes that keep your breasts out of sight.

If you are breastfeeding only before sleep at night and on waking in the morning, it’s a good idea to stop the night feed first. Again, distractions such as a sleepover at her grandparents, or someone else reading her stories, can help to break the old routine. If your toddler is used to being fed to sleep this will be tricky. You can break the association between breastfeeding and sleep by feeding in another room, and by not feeding just before bed. Give lots of cuddles at bedtime to compensate for the usual breastfeed.

If you decide to stop the early morning feed, try to be dressed before your toddler wakes up and then distract her with a cup of milk and breakfast.

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