Raising Children Network: the Australian parenting website
  • Suitable for 1-8Years

Handling transitions

By Raising Children Network
 
 
Stopping one thing and starting another: it happens all through the day, every day, in the life of families.
 

Understandably, children do not always find it easy to move from one activity to the next, and there will be times when children are completely absorbed in what they are doing (which is great!) and will not want to stop. But sometimes such transitions are necessary. Here are some ideas on how to make transitions smoother and less likely to result in tension and stress.

Tips for handling transitions

  • A predictable routine helps with daily transitions. Children come to expect and accept change better when they know it's coming.
  • Explain what is happening to your child before you make a start on the day, or set out on any expeditions. Knowing what to expect ahead of time will help prevent children – especially older children – from having unrealistic expectations.
  • Choose your timing. If you can, stop one thing and start another during a natural break in your child’s activity. Being sensitive to where your child is at and what she is doing can make transition easier for you both.
  • Try to avoid abrupt changes in activity. Give your child some warning about an impending transition; for example, ‘Derek, you have five more minutes to play. Then it will be time to go home’.
  • Avoid implying that a transition is voluntary if it isn’t; for example, instead of saying, ‘Orla, would you like to pack up those toys now?’ you could say, ‘Orla, you can start packing up those toys now’.
  • See if you can make transitions fun: ‘Can you march like a soldier to the car?’ or ‘How about we play Eye Spy on the trip home?’
  • Think about easing transitions by allowing your child to take something with her; for example, ‘Evie, we have to go the car in a minute. You can take one toy with you. Which one will it be?’
  • Point out any good things your child can look forward to following the transition; for example, ‘If we leave now, we'll have time to pick up a video to watch tonight’.
  • If your child finds transitions particularly challenging, consider building in more time into each activity to allow for the extra time they need to adjust.
  • Praise your child for handling transitions well – emphasise how good it is when you both work together as a team.
  • Build up some momentum. The first step is the hardest. Start by getting your child do a little easy thing first. You can also build momentum by enthusiastically helping to get your child started; for example, ‘Let me help you get that bag packed, and then we can do your hair and teeth!’
  • It’s OK if your child lets you know that she’s disappointed about having to stop. That’s natural; it’s good that she can express what she feels. On the other hand, if she plays up or throws a tantrum, be careful not to accidentally reward that behaviour by allowing more time in the activity. Be understanding, but also be clear and firm, and gently insist that she does what you ask.
 
 
  • Last reviewed15-05-2006