Talking and listening to your preschooler

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Between the ages of three and five, you might hear the words ‘Why? Why? Why?’ from morning to night. Armed with speech, an understanding that they are their own person and constant fascination with the world around them, preschoolers literally want to talk to everybody and tell everybody about everything.

By this age, children become capable of maintaining simple conversations and can use specific words to say what they mean. With an ever-expanding vocabulary, they are also capable of expressing that they are upset, rather than resorting to the tantrums of toddlers.

Preschooler body language

As with toddlers, listening to preschoolers is still as much about watching their body language and behaviour as it is about hearing their words. Even though their language skills may have improved dramatically, they still rely on your facial expressions, tone of voice and gestures to understand things. They will also still use gestures and noises to communicate with you.

How preschoolers learn

Preschoolers express themselves through constant chatter and play (particularly make-believe), their body language and through painting and craft.

With improved understanding of cause and effect, a preschooler becomes increasingly interested in why things happen. Preschoolers are able to understand explanations better. They learn basic reasoning: eating makes you grow, running makes you tired and putting petrol in the car makes it go.

Tips for talking and listening to preschoolers

• Get used to repetition. Preschoolers love repetition in stories as it helps them to understand the world and test their imagination in familiar scenarios.
  
• It’s not possible all the time, but when you can, stop what you are doing and give your full attention to your child. Every moment like this is a great investment in your relationship.
  
• When your child tells you something, summarise it back to her so she knows that you are listening.
  
• Nod, smile and be affectionate when your child is talking to let her know you are listening.
  
• Use phrases that show you are interested: ‘Really?’ ‘Go on’ ‘And then what happened?’
  
• Let your child finish telling her story and resist the temptation to butt in.
  
• Say exactly what you mean to avoid confusion.
  
• Your child may not understand jokes, exaggeration or sarcasm. These may be misinterpreted and lead to hurt feelings.
  
• You can repeat the same message in a couple of different ways to help your child understand what you want from her.
  
• Beat your child to asking ‘Why?’ by providing her with an explanation when speaking: ‘We don’t ride bikes on the road because we might get hit by a car’.
  
• Encourage with lots of positive messages and explain why you are happy with your child.
  
• Make sure your body language and facial expressions match what you are saying.

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