Social and emotional growth: younger preschoolers

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Three-year-olds need familiar adults nearby for security as they explore and play. As they develop more independence, children this age begin to have real friendships with other children. When conflicts arise with peers, three-year-olds will typically seek adult assistance. They are learning to recognise the causes of feelings and will give simple help, such as a hug, to those who are upset. Three-year-olds can better manage their emotions, but may still fall apart under stress.

Emotional development

• Continues to develop preferences for special adults. Uses familiar adults as secure bases for exploration and play (e.g. wants mum to stay at friend's house when invited over, even though child seldom looks for her during play).
• Begins to develop and express a sense of individuality and personal preferences; for example, says, ‘See my toys!’
• Labels own feelings and those of others based on their facial expression or tone of voice. For example, looks at a picture in a book and says, ‘She's scared’. Understands, at least on a basic level that feelings have causes: ‘Sammy is sad because he can't find his blanket’.
• Shows progress in expressing feelings, needs and opinions in difficult situations or conflicts, without harming self, others or property. For example says, ‘I really, REALLY need that swing!’ May still fall apart under stress.

Social development

• Shows an interest in other children and copies what they do (e.g. Luke jumps off the couch; his neighbour Odelia does exactly the same, laughing). Plays cooperatively with another child for a time (e.g. pretends to talk on the phone with the child).
• Begins to have real friendships, even though child may not understand the concept of friendship or that these relationships may not last. For example says, ‘My best friends are Nathan, Sharon, Enrique, Cassidy ...’ and others in the class.
• Gives simple help to peers who are in need, upset, hurt or angry (e.g. hug, comfort object, pat, encouraging word). Such attempts to give aid may not take into account the other child’s characteristics or needs (e.g. offers a crying classmate a stuffed animal, even though the child has another comfort object).
• Accepts compromise when resolving conflicts if it is suggested by an adult. For example, mum says, ‘Jackson, you can use that swing as soon as Jana gets off’. Seeks adult help in resolving a conflict; for example, goes to dad and says, ‘Jacob took my truck!’. Continues to learn simple alternatives to aggressive ways of dealing with conflicts. For example, trades one doll for a desired one by saying, ‘You have THIS dolly, OK?’

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