Social and emotional growth from age 2-3

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Two-year-olds enjoy playing alongside other children, but usually keep to themselves. When conflicts arise, adults need to step in to prevent aggression and teach appropriate behaviours. Children this age are beginning to label feelings that they recognise in themselves and others. Controlling emotions is still difficult, however, so frustration may trigger emotional meltdowns. Comfort objects like blankets or teddy bears help two-year-olds cope with new situations or strong emotions.

Emotional development

• Extends trusting relationships to other adults and to children with whom he plays frequently; shows preferences for these adults and children (e.g. hugs favourite teacher when he arrives at preschool, goes to favourite teacher for comfort after a fall on the playground).
• Shows strong sense of self as an individual; for example, says, ‘No!’ to an adult's request, simply to assert self.
• Recognises feelings when emotions are labelled by adult; for example, teacher says, ‘I know you feel scared about that’, and the child calms down a bit. Increases his understanding and use of language related to emotions; for example, says, ‘Mummy happy now’. Expands understanding of what others’ feelings mean. For example, looks at father's expression and says, ‘Why you cross, Papa?’
• Continues to find the regulation of emotions difficult. As a result, frustration may still trigger tantrums. Uses a wider range of coping strategies (e.g. comfort objects, words that label feelings). Continues to need a great deal of adult support.

Social development

• Enjoys playing alongside other children, but doesn't interact a great deal with them (e.g. two children sit in the sandpit, each occupied independently with buckets, but with a comfortable awareness that the other child is there).
• Depending on his exposure to other children, may start to have favourite playmates and warm bonds with others (e.g. Nicholas asks Anna about her absence from the child care program for a few days).
• Shows awareness of others’ feelings. May try to give basic help (e.g. watches the teacher to see if she will come to the aid of a child who is crying; pats or hugs the child who is sad).
• Looks to adults for comfort when conflict happens (e.g. when a child takes all the crayons at child care, Lauren runs to teacher and hugs her around the knees). With much adult support, begins to develop some strategies for resolving conflicts constructively. For example, with teacher at his side, Oscar says, ‘It MY shovel, Darrell!’.

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