What to expect
Four-year-olds are continuing to learn what causes certain feelings, and are starting to realise that others might react differently from them when in the same situation. They’re learning to better manage intense emotions with coping strategies like talking it out or drawing a picture.
Four-year-olds also show further progress in their social interactions with peers, such as by smoothly joining in a group play situation, being sympathetic to others, or suggesting ways to resolve conflict.
Emotional development
Your child looks to adults as trusted role models (for example, your child might imitate a teacher’s way of reading a story to the class). By 4-5 years of age, he’s better able to tolerate the absence of familiar adults and copes with distress through the use of language, drawing and so on. For example, he might say, ‘I’m going to draw a picture of Mum and Dad for when they get home’.
Your child increasingly expresses a sense of self in terms of his abilities, characteristics, preferences and actions. For example, she says, ‘Look at me! I’m building a castle!’ She also compares herself to others – for example, ‘Maria can ride a bike, but I’m still learning’.
Your child continues to gain an understanding of the causes of feelings, and that others might feel differently about the same situation. For example, she says, ‘I want to play on the swings, but Theo doesn’t’.
Your child learns coping strategies (for example, using words, pretend play, drawing and so on) to establish greater control and competence in managing intense emotions. For example, after going to the hospital after a bad fall, she might repeatedly play out the experience with dolls and stuffed animals.
Social development
Your child successfully joins in with a group of children. For example, he says, ‘Hey! I can be the grandpa who comes to visit!’ He begins and sustains pretend play in a cooperative group and might say things like ‘Let’s play that we’re going on a trip. I’ll be the pilot and you can all be on the plane’.
She shows further progress in developing friendships with peers, even if a bond is formed with just one other child. She’ll begin to try to please other children. For example, she might say, ‘You can come to my birthday, OK?’
Your child will respond more appropriately and sympathetically to peers who are in need, upset, hurt or angry. For example, he might say, ‘Don't cry, Ahmed. My daddy can fix that bike. He knows how’.
She’ll start to suggest solutions to problems with other children, while continuing to seek adult help. For example, she might say, ‘Hey, Madison! We can BOTH be the mummies!’
If your child isn’t interested in interacting with other children, or what’s happening around him, it might be a good idea to discuss this with your child’s carer or kindergarten teacher, and/or your health professional.
