Social and emotional growth: older preschoolers

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Four-year-olds continue to learn what causes certain feelings, and realise that others may react to the same situation differently. They have learned to better manage intense emotions with coping strategies like talking it out or drawing a picture. Four-year-olds also show further progress in their social interactions with peers, such as by smoothly joining in a group play situation, being sympathetic to others, or suggesting ways to resolve conflicts.

Emotional development

• Uses adults as trusted role models (e.g. imitates a teacher's way of reading a story to the class). Is better able to tolerate the absence of familiar adults; copes with distress through the use of language, drawing, etc. For example, says, ‘I'm going to draw a picture of Mum and Dad for when they get home’.
• Increasingly expresses a sense of self in terms of abilities, characteristics, preferences, and actions. For example, says, ‘Look at me! I'm building a castle!’ Compares self to others: ‘Maria can ride a bike, but I'm still learning’.
• Continues to gain an understanding of the causes of feelings, and that others may feel differently about the same situation; for example, says, ‘I want to play on the swings, but Theo doesn't’.
• Learns coping strategies (e.g. using words, pretend play, drawing) to establish greater control and competence in managing intense emotions (e.g. after going to the emergency room, child may repeatedly play out the experience with dolls and stuffed animals).

Social development

• Successfully enters a group of children; for example, says, ‘Hey! I can be the grandma who comes to visit!’ Begins and sustains pretend play in a cooperative group: ‘Let's play that we're going on a trip. I'll be the pilot and you guys be on the plane’.
• Shows further progress in developing friendships with peers, even if a bond is formed with just one other child. Begins to try to please other children; for example, says, ‘You can come to my birthday, OK?’
• Responds more appropriately and sympathetically to peers who are in need, upset, hurt or angry; for example, says, ‘Don't cry, Willy. My daddy can fix that bike. He knows how’.
• Suggests solutions to problems with other children, while continuing to seek adult help; for example, says, ‘Hey, Benjamin! We can BOTH be the daddies!’

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