Why share a bed?
Many parents who share a bed with their baby – also called co-sleeping – believe it helps their baby feel safe and secure. They like the close bodily contact, feel that it’s rewarding and satisfying, and believe it’s good for their relationship with their baby.
Some parents also bed-share because they find it more practical. Breastfeeding during the night can be easier – the hungry baby can be fed then settled back to sleep quickly.
For these reasons, advocates of co-sleeping feel it can be worth making the adjustments necessary to learn to sleep with a small child. The most important thing is that bed-sharing is done safely.
Safe bed-sharing
Although some people believe that sleeping next to your baby can help reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) there's no reliable evidence.
In fact, co-sleeping is associated with SIDS and other fatal sleep accidents in some circumstances. But researchers and advocates of co-sleeping all believe that the risk of SIDS is increased by co-sleeping if:
- you or your partner smoke
- you or your partner take drugs, alcohol or any type of sedative medication that causes heavy sleep.
It’s never advisable to share a bed with your baby if you smoke or take drugs.
Guidelines for co-sleeping
The usual ideas for safe sleeping apply to babies who share their parents’ beds:
- Put your baby on his back to sleep (never on his tummy or side).
- Make sure his head is uncovered during sleep.
- Keep the sleep environment smoke-free.
- Provide firm and safe bedding.
Here are some simple additional safety precautions for co-sleeping. These will reduce the chance of accidental death through smothering:
- Avoid sleeping together on the couch – this is very dangerous, as your baby can get trapped between you and the cushions and can suffocate.
- Make sure your bed is firm. Don’t use anything soft underneath (for example, a lamb’s wool underlay).
- Use lightweight blankets, not heavy quilts or doonas.
- Keep sheets and blankets low down on the bed so they can’t cover your baby’s head.
- Put the bed in the middle of the room and check that the mattress fits firmly in the bed frame. This will stop your baby getting trapped between the bed and the wall or the mattress and the bed frame.
- Keep your baby away from any pillows.
- Put your baby beside one parent, but not between parents, so there’s less chance she’ll slip under the bedding.
- Put your baby where she can’t fall out of bed, but not against pillows or a wall. Babies can suffocate under pillows and have died after becoming trapped between the bed and the wall. A safer alternative is placing the mattress on the floor.
Debates about co-sleeping
There’s still some debate about the safety of co-sleeping in Western-style bedding.
Some researchers argue there are benefits to bed-sharing. They say it can be made safer when the precautions described above are used.
Others – such as the American Academy of Pediatrics, and SIDS and Kids in Australia – have taken a more cautious line. They’ve recently recommended against bed-sharing. They believe the safest sleeping arrangement is to have your baby in your room, but not in your bed.
When co-sleeping is a problem
Co-sleeping can be a problem if:
- It hasn’t been by choice. Some parents bring a baby into bed because of difficulties with the baby waking or coming into their bed at night. For some, this turns out to be an effective solution. For others, it’s not satisfactory for them or their baby.
- There’s lack of agreement or tension between partners about co-sleeping.
- Parents want their child to move into a separate bed before the child wants to move. Many parents who sleep with their children also report that children usually want their own beds by the age of two or three. It can take longer than this, though, and sometimes parents get sick of co-sleeping before their children do.
Co-sleeping: stats and facts
Bed-sharing with a parent is becoming a far more common experience in Western societies such as the US and Australia. Research has found that:
- 80% of infants will share their parents’ bed at some time in the first six months of life – most of these for more than two hours in each 24-hour period.
- Bed-sharing is more common in the first 12 weeks of life than the next 12 weeks.
- 70% of babies bed-share with their mother only, 17% with both parents, and 3% with their mother and a sibling.
- Most babies bed-share at night, but there are some who only bed-share during the day.
