Sharing your bed with baby

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Why share a bed?

Many parents who share a bed with their baby – also called co-sleeping – believe it helps their baby to feel safe and secure. They like the close bodily contact, feel it is rewarding and satisfying, and believe that it’s good for their relationship with their baby.

Some parents also bed-share because they find it more practical, and breastfeeding during the night is easier. They can respond quickly to their hungry baby and then settle baby back to sleep quickly.

For these reasons, advocates of co-sleeping feel it’s well worth making the adjustments necessary to learn to sleep with a small child. The critical thing is that bed-sharing is done safely.

Bed-sharing safely

Some people believe that sleeping next to your baby can help reduce the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). No reliable research has demonstrated this.

In fact, co-sleeping is associated with SIDS and other fatal sleep accidents in some circumstances. Researchers and advocates of co-sleeping are unanimous that the risk of SIDS is increased by co-sleeping if:

• you or your partner smoke
• you or your partner take drugs, alcohol or any type of sedative medication that causes heavy sleep.

Safe sleeping when co-sleeping
All the principles of safe sleeping apply to babies who share their parents’ beds:

• Put babies on their backs (never on their tummies or sides).
• Making sure babies’ heads are uncovered during sleep.
• Keep the sleep environment smoke-free.
• Provide firm and safe bedding.

Here are some simple additional safety precautions for co-sleeping. These will reduce the chance of accidental death through smothering.

• Avoid sleeping together on the couch. This is very dangerous because baby can be trapped between you and the cushions, and can suffocate.
• Make sure your bed is firm. Don’t use anything soft underneath (for example, a lamb’s wool underlay).
• Use lightweight blankets, not heavy quilts or doonas.
• Keep sheets and blankets low down on the bed so they can’t cover your baby’s head.
• Keep baby away from any pillows.
• Put baby beside one parent, but not between parents, so that there is less chance that baby will slip under the bedding.
• Put babies where they can’t fall out of bed, but not against pillows or a wall. Babies can suffocate under pillows and have died after becoming trapped between the bed and the wall. A safer alternative is placing the mattress on the floor.

Debates about the safety of co-sleeping

There is still some debate about the safety of co-sleeping in Western-style bedding.

Some researchers argue there are benefits to bed-sharing. They say that bed-sharing can be made safer when the precautions described above are used.

Others, such as the American Academy of Pediatrics, have taken a more cautious line. They have recently recommended against bed-sharing. They believe the safest sleeping arrangement is to have your baby in your room, but not in your bed.

When co-sleeping is a problem

Co-sleeping can be a problem if:

• It has not been by choice. Some parents bring a baby into bed because of difficulties with the baby waking or coming into their bed at night. For some, this turns out to be an effective solution. For others, it’s not satisfactory for them or their baby.
• There is lack of agreement or tension between partners about co-sleeping.
• Parents want their child to move into a separate bed before the child wants to move. Many parents who sleep with their children also report that children usually want their own beds by the age of two or three. It can take longer than this, though, and sometimes parents get sick of co-sleeping before their children do.

Co-sleeping: stats and facts

Bed-sharing with a parent is a common experience for Australian babies. Research has found that:

• 80% of infants will share their parents’ bed at some time in the first six months of life – most of these for more than two hours in each 24-hour period.
• Bed-sharing is more common in the first 12 weeks of life than the next 12 weeks.
• 70% of babies bed-share with their mother only, 17% with both parents, and 3% with mother and a sibling.
• Most babies bed-share at night, but there are also some who only bed-share during the day.

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