Raising Children Network: the Australian parenting website
  • Suitable for 3-18Months

Positive bedtime routines

 

Bedtime battles can be less of a problem when you use a positive routine in the 20 minutes before tucking young children in for the night.

iStockphoto.com/Vadim Ponomarenko
 

A positive routine involves your child in a series of pleasurable activities in the crucial 20-minute period before bedtime. It helps to soothe and calm your child, ready for sleep.

A good bedtime routine smoothes the way for good night sleeping habits. Without a good routine, it can be hard for a baby to settle to sleep.

A positive routine goes together with any efforts to improve bedtime settling difficulties in babies, toddlers and preschoolers. A positive routine is almost always recommended when other behavioural strategies such as controlled comforting or camping out are used.

What a positive bedtime routine looks like

A routine can have any number of activities. Most routines involve a mix of pre-bed tasks (bath, brushing teeth) and quiet, enjoyable activities (reading a story). The aim is to keep the atmosphere positive, using positive attention and praise. The key is that they are similar activities completed in roughly the same way each night.

Here’s an example of a routine that can begin after dinner and a bath:

  • breastfeed or bottle-feed (outside the bedroom)
  • quiet play for 15-20 minutes (could include reading a book)
  • into bedroom
  • brief cuddle and kiss
  • into bed.
At the end of the 20-minute ‘positive period’, say goodnight. This is the time to be firm if your child resists. Be clear that it’s now time for sleep. Leave the room promptly.

Making a start: choosing the best bedtime

You might have an ideal bedtime in mind – somewhere between 7 pm and 8 pm for young children.

But when you’re dealing with settling problems, the best bedtime to start with is one closest to when your child naturally falls asleep. For example, if you find that your child finally falls asleep around 9 pm, set this as a temporary bedtime.

This increases the chance that the routine will become firmly associated with the onset of sleep.

Moving your child’s actual bedtime towards your ideal bedtime

The final step of the positive routine involves bringing your child’s bedtime forward. This begins a week after introducing the ‘positive period’ and involves making bedtime 5-10 minutes earlier every few days. You do this until you reach your child’s ideal bedtime.

For example, your child has been falling asleep at 9 pm. You want an 8 pm bedtime:

  1. Start by putting your child to bed at 8.50 pm.
  2. Do this for several nights.
  3. Move bedtime back to 8.40 pm for the next few nights.
  4. Continue this gradual ‘fading’ process until your child is going to bed at the right time.

How long it takes

The length of time required for the positive routine to work varies according to how quickly the ‘positive period’ can be successfully shortened each week. Typically, the ‘positive period’ needs to be shortened gradually rather than quickly. The routine usually takes a few weeks to be effective.

Research has found that a positive routine not only helps with settling problems. It can also lead to general improvements in the quality of parent-child relationships.
 
 
 
  • Content supplied by
  • Last updated29-04-2010
  • Last reviewed12-08-2009
  • References

    Adams, L., & Rickert, V. (1989). Reducing bedtime tantrums: Comparison between positive routines and graduated extinction. Pediatrics, 84, 756-761.

  • Acknowledgements

    Adapted from Centre for Community Child Health (2004). The Infant Sleep Study: Managing sleep problems in babies: A training manual. Royal Children’s Hospital: Melbourne; and Centre for Community Child Health (2006). Settling and sleeping: Research based professional resource. Downloaded from www.rch.org.au/ccch/platforms.

    The Centre for Community Child Health wishes to acknowledge the Telstra Foundation for their support in developing this resource.