Parenting solo

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Managing your time, energy and finances can seem like an art form for parents who are single, separated or divorced.  

Even if you relish the independence of raising a child by yourself, it can be harder as a solo parent to make time just for you. On top of that, it might be harder to:

• make decisions by yourself if you usually prefer to share these
• cope if you or your child is sick, or if you are tired, stressed or depressed 
• make financial ends meet if you now have reduced income
• deal with changes in living arrangements, particularly those that come about if you are recently separated or divorced.

The single biggest thing you can do to help is to call on your extended family, friends and other forms of support to help share the load. According to research, your social network can provide crucial back up, especially in the early stages of being a single parent.

Tips for single parents

Ask family and friends to help when you need a break or some time out, if you are in contact and they live near you.

If you can, share what you are going through with people you trust. This helps them understand and provide support when you ask.

Find other parents in a similar situation to you – you could take turns helping each other out or providing back up. Ideas for meeting other parents or families include:

• joining new parents' groups; you can get great support and advice from others in your position
• joining a local community playgroup; your child benefits and you get to talk to other parents 
• volunteering to help out at your child's child care or school where you are likely to meet other parents
• getting involved in a committee if your child has a special interest like playing sport.

If you feel lonely, you can:

• try to spend more time catching up with friends, family, neighbours, or parents you meet through your child
• try going out with new friends
• contact free relationship support services for advice 
• join a parent support group; for example Parents without Partners.

Share decisions if you prefer not to make them all by yourself – you can talk things through with family, friends, other parents, or with a welfare professional such as a social worker, a psychologist or doctor.

If you are coping with grief, try to give yourself as much time and space as possible. Your support people, including friends and family, will understand and help you carry on. A counsellor can also help.

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