Nightmares

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What are nightmares?

Nightmares are bad dreams that can cause children to wake in fear and distress. Your child may have nightmares about a realistic danger, such as aggressive dogs, sharks or spiders, or she may dream about imaginary fears, such as monsters. A vivid imagination can contribute lots of content for nightmares.

Nightmares occur in 25-50% of children aged 3-6 years. They happen during active sleep (or REM sleep – see About sleep), most commonly in the second half of the night. Unlike night terrors, children often wake, tearful and upset following a nightmare and will seek comfort from a parent. Depending on their language ability, they can often recall the content of their bad dream in detail. Some younger children may find it difficult to get back to sleep following a nightmare.

As your child grows older, she will get better at understanding that a dream is just a dream. By the age of seven, she may be able to deal with her nightmares without calling you to comfort her.

What to do about it

The occasional nightmare is not a sign of emotional disturbance and need not be cause for concern. However, if your child is dreaming about the same or similar things over and over again (a recurrent nightmare), or the content of the dream is particularly disturbing, she may be experiencing some kind of stress during the day.

Trauma can also cause nightmares. If your child has experienced some type of trauma, she may have nightmares about it for several weeks or months afterwards.

Tips for dealing with nightmares

• If your child wakes up because of or during a nightmare, explain that she had a bad dream and reassure her that she is safe. A kiss and a cuddle might help her settle again.
• If your preschool-aged child has dreamed about monsters, you could try explaining that monsters are only make-believe. Explain to her that made-up things, although scary, can’t really hurt her. Avoid making fun of the nightmare or telling her that she is silly for worrying – nightmares can seem very real for little children.
• If you notice a recurrent nightmare, explore sources of stress or fright in your child’s day. You might gently ask her about encounters with other children, television shows or other daytime experiences. If you locate a basis for the nightmares, you can then take measures to eliminate or reduce her exposure to the disturbing events.

Getting help

It can be a good idea to seek professional advice if your child is experiencing nightmares coupled with high levels of anxiety during the day. Or if nightmares are part of her response to a traumatic event.

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