Mother of two Jean* talks about her determination to give birth to her second baby naturally, following her first delivery by caesarean.
‘The birth of my first born baby, Benjamin*, was traumatic both physically and emotionally, yet it is one of the most profound moments of my life. After a hard pregnancy, I was not expecting to have such a long and hard labour, which lasted 24 hours. It resulted in an emergency caesarean, or as I like to put it, a “social birth”.
‘I was given a variety of reasons for needing a caesarean: not dilating (I only reached 7-8 cm), pelvis too small, (but my baby was only 3.46 kg), positioning of the baby, and the most concerning, fetal distress.
‘It was not until months later that the self doubt and questions hit me. What if I had tried drugs earlier? Why couldn’t my body achieve what it was made to do? In the end, however, I’d had a healthy, beautiful, baby boy. That was what mattered, or so I thought, until it came time to have another baby.
‘I was anxious at the thought of going through the whole process again, especially birth via caesarean and the recovery. My health nurse suggested I have a few sessions with a trauma counsellor to deal with the brick wall of emotions I was feeling which were stopping me from trying for more children. In only a few sessions I was able to overcome the guilt I was feeling and the self doubt that had accumulated over the past two years. I got back confidence in myself not only as a mother, but as a woman.
‘The decision to go for a trial labour was without a doubt the hardest one of my life. The “what ifs” and horror stories filled my head. The threat of all the possible dangers was very frightening, and there is a lot to be said about the comfort of the known. My initial thought was to book in for a caesar if I did not go into spontaneous labour before my due date. I told myself I did not want to know the statistics or read any information because I believed that I was going against the grain, and so statistics and facts would only increase my fears. I could not have been more ignorant and blind. Through the encouragement and support of the “Know Your Midwife” program run by my local hospital, I began educating myself by researching the internet about VBAC. VBAC stands for Vaginal Birth After Caesarean, or as I like to call it – Very Brave And Courageous.
‘I also attended a VBAC course at the hospital and read as many real life experiences as I could find about natural and caesarean births.
‘Of all the interesting facts that I discovered, I was amazed to find nearly all the statistics from studies held in Australia and internationally stated that natural birth was by far the safest delivery option – whether it be a VBAC or not! It struck me that this is something that the general population does not know, and obstetricians often do not highlight or encourage this.
‘One big fear was of my scar rupturing, but again, many reputable websites showed that the chances of this happening were minimal. In the end, all the education and statistics really helped, but I had to feel within my heart that the decision was right.
‘I wanted what was best for my unborn child first, then for myself, and in turn that would benefit my toddler. I was going to let nature take its course and be open (and thankful) to modern intervention in trying to achieve a safe and happy birth experience, whether that meant naturally or by caesarean.
‘I was enjoying being pregnant and I was excitedly anxious about the unknown. That was until I had my confidence shot at my 20-week visit with an obstetrician. I was told that by having a natural delivery after a previous caesarean I was taking a chance that “obviously didn’t work the first time”. I had to listen to one-sided statistics, and threats of hysterectomy and the chances of my baby dying. “If you were my wife, I would not allow you to try”, was one of the comments. He even wrote a comment in my file: “Five-foot ... therefore recommending a Caesar”. I sat in shock as he pulled out the papers to sign me up for a caesar.
‘I declined, left the room and rang my husband in tears. He encouraged me to ring my midwife and she insisted I go over my research again. It only took a couple of days to get back on track. This experience only made me stronger and determined to prove this “mere” male wrong.
‘The labour started seven days before my due date. Not once did I think about my first experience. I was surrounded by a support group that believed in my abilities and respected my choice. After a long uphill battle, I gave birth naturally to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. It was the most euphoric experience, and the proudest moment of my life. Words cannot describe the elation and the empowerment I felt from the whole process. I believe that in my case, it was definitely a mind-over-matter experience. As a result I now feel confident in myself and my abilities as a mother and as a woman. I have the sense that I can achieve anything I put my mind to.
‘Three months down the track my beautiful daughter is breastfed and thriving, and I am the happiest I have ever been. I would encourage all women to educate themselves and believe in themselves when they make choices – not only when faced with birth options, but in every other aspect of their lives.’
*Not their real names. We were compelled to conceal this family’s identity on the advice of our lawyers. However, we believe many readers will be interested in this story – Ed. (Practical Parenting Magazine)
