Raising Children Network: the Australian parenting website
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Babies making friends

 

Making friends is like walking. At first, children learn to do it with a lot of support. Later, they charge off on their own.

Children in child care have lots of opportunities to interact with other children their age. If your child is not in child care, it can be fun and helpful to create opportunities to play with others. Here are some things you can do to support your child's early peer relationships.

Schedule regular playdates

Starting when your child is around one year of age, set aside a few times a week for playtime with peers. If you have older children, of course, they'll do a lot of playing with your younger ones. Even so, you still might want to give your baby a chance to observe and interact with children who are at the same developmental level.

Join a playgroup

Many communities have organised playgroups for young children. These can be a great way for your child to interact with her peers, learn to feel comfortable in a new setting, and be exposed to an exciting variety of toys and activities. As an added bonus, while your child plays, you can talk with other parents who have children the same age as your own.

A good place to find out about these groups is the public library; in fact, more and more libraries run these groups themselves. They often provide toys and a person trained in early childhood development. Also, anything at the library will be free. A church, synagogue or mosque in your neighbourhood also might sponsor organised playgroups. If not, you might consider helping to set one up. It does not have to be a lot of work or costly, especially if there is an open classroom you can use.

Make your home safe for play

You can organise a playgroup in your own home. It may involve just one other child, or as many as three or four. You'll need a safe space that has been carefully childproofed.

Keep it short

An hour or 90 minutes is probably plenty of time for each session, and you should expect that not all of the children will want to stay for the whole time. Playing is tiring, and it's better to stop while everyone is still fresh than to wait until energy, and patience, are in shorter supply.

Don't overplan

If you do take the lead in setting up a playgroup, you don't need to worry too much about planning activities. For young children, it is enough to have a few interesting, safe toys and a grown-up (you!) to help everyone feel comfortable. The whole point is to allow each child to play and watch others playing.

Offer guidance when needed

Once you get a play situation set up, you can just sit back and watch for much of the time. However, if you see a child playing in a way that might hurt another (for example, swinging a block around in the air), certainly you need to help her find a safer way to have fun. The same goes for a child who does not know how to get started. You can help out by bringing over a couple of toys (or giving them to the baby's parent). But remember that some children need to watch for a while before they feel comfortable joining in – encourage everyone to join the fun, but don't push.