Raising Children Network: the Australian parenting website
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Fussy eating

By Raising Children Network
 
 

Fussy eaters (and yes, there are many!) are simply trying to express their independence with a say in what, when, where and how they eat. Here are some ideas if your child's fussy eating is driving you to distraction.

Toddler refusing food

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  • Children learn about what is safe and yummy by watching what their parents eat.
  • You can set a good example by eating the kind of food you would like your child to eat - if you aren’t eating any vegetables, your child's not likely to either.
 

Children’s appetites are affected by growth cycles, and they have different taste preferences (or palates) to adults. Even babies have fluctuating appetites. You will encourage your baby's appetite to work properly if you give her more when she’s hungry and let her eat less when she’s not interested. Many children are fussy eaters.

  • Erratic appetites are common between one and five years.
  • Sometimes life for children is too exciting to spend time eating.
  • Most children get plenty to eat even if it seems like they are barely eating at all.

Growth slows down and appetites become erratic between one and five years. Sometimes your child will refuse food just because it provokes an interesting reaction – from you! Just try again another day. If you keep offering a particular food, your child is more likely to try it and eventually like it.

While you provide the food, your child is in charge when it comes to what and how much she eats. Toddlers have a strong need for rituals and for what's familiar. If your child asks for the pasta without the sauce, this might just be a way of getting simple, easily identifiable foods that boost her sense of security. It might also be a sign that your toddler is seeking greater independence. There's nothing wrong with supporting this move for independence by granting simple wishes such as removal of crusts from bread. The key is to let your toddler make choices while still providing a healthy, varied range of foods.

If your toddler is too distracted to sit at the family table for a meal, you can try having quiet time first to allow her to calm down before eating. Even the ritual of hand-washing can help achieve this. In general, if your kids see you enjoying food, it will encourage them to do likewise. You might encourage your toddler to sit at the table with the family for most meals, but only for 15 minutes or so until she is older and able to sit still for longer.

Your child's appetite varies. She won't starve if she is eating hardly anything. But if this really worries you, the following tips can kick-start some changes:

  • Make healthy foods fun by cutting sandwiches into interesting shapes or by letting her help prepare the salad or whisk the eggs for an omelette.
  • If you offer fatty, sugary or salty snacks in order to get her to ‘eat something’, she’ll start refusing healthier foods – she knows there are tastier options! Offering unhealthy treats as bribes might make her more interested in the treat than the healthy food you want her to eat.
  • Serve your toddler the same meal the family is eating and if she doesn’t eat it, say something like ‘Try it, it's yummy’. If she still doesn't want it, say ‘OK, another time when you're hungry’.
  • Make meal times a happy social occasion. Try not to worry about knocked-over drinks or food on the floor. Give positive feedback on the habits you want continued, rather than focusing on the negatives.
 
  • Last reviewed16-05-2006
  • References

    National Health and Medical Research Council (2003). Dietary guidelines for children and adolescents in Australia. Canberra: Australian Government Publishing Service.

    Thompson, S.M. (1999). Fussy eaters: Advising parents of toddlers. Modern Medicine of Australia, March, 18-22.