Raising Children Network: the Australian parenting website
  • Suitable for 5-8Years

Feelings: school-age children

By Raising Children Network
 
 

What to expect

Once at school, your child will probably:

  • start to understand another person’s point of view (by the age of eight or nine)
  • make lasting, close friendships (from eight years old)
  • go through stages of being loud and confident and then quiet and shy
  • not have a complete sense of right and wrong, and may lie or steal
  • begin to learn to be independent
  • still need lots of affection and support from you.

Your child is starting to understand that other people have deep feelings and often a different view of the world.

This will help your child to form closer friendships from about the age of eight. Research shows that boys will often form a group of friends, whereas girls prefer to be in pairs or smaller groups.

A child's very keenness to follow the rules at this age can also contribute to disputes between school-age children. Your help is still important to keep play going smoothly.

Play ideas to encourage the exploration of feelings

Play is one of the best ways for young children to express and manage their feelings. Your school-age child can explore feelings through:

  • making art – try painting and drawing
  • having fun with music, including jumping around and ‘acting out’ music, creating music with odds and ends from around the house, and learning to play an instrument
  • messy play, such as playing with sand or mud
  • playing with puppets or toys
  • going to a park or open space and running, tumbling or hitting a ball around – there’s nothing like kicking a footy really hard to make you feel like you have control over life.

Your child might find it easier to express feelings if he feels in charge. Allowing your child to lead play can help with this.

If you notice that your child is very shy, does not seem to form friendships with other children or is aggressive or bullying, it may be a good idea to discuss this with your child's teacher and/or your health professional.

 
 
 
  • Last reviewed11-05-2006
  • References

    Rubin, K.H., Bukowski, W., & Parker, J.G. (1998). Peer interactions, relationships and groups. In W. Damon & N. Eisenberg (Eds.), Handbook of child psychology: Vol. 3. Social, emotional and personality development (5th ed., pp. 619-700). New York: Wiley.

    Thomson, R.A. (1998). Early sociopersonality development. In W. Damon & N. Eisenberg (Eds.), Handbook of child psychology: Vol. 3. Social, emotional and personality development (5th ed., pp. 25-104). New York: Wiley.