Raising Children Network: the Australian parenting website
  • Suitable for 3-6Years

Feelings: preschoolers

By Raising Children Network
 
 

Your child is getting a handle on those tricky things called emotions. This is fabulous news for mum and dad, as it means less frustration and impatience, and fewer tantrums.

Young girl smiling
 

What to expect

Your preschooler will probably:

  • be less competitive and more cooperative with friends after she turns four
  • use words to describe her feelings after she turns four
  • apologise when she has done something wrong
  • be fascinated with fantasy play between ages three and four
  • understand the concept of sharing
  • begin to identify as male or female, and play games featuring grown-up men or women, from age four
  • know the difference between real and pretend, between four and five
  • be able to lie or hide the truth about something by birthday number five (your child may say ‘I didn't do it’ when she is aware she did); she will probably have a complete sense of right and wrong by six years old
  • be more in control of her behaviour and have fewer tantrums by age five
  • be very attached to you – she may feel anxious about starting school.

By four years of age, your child will be better at sharing and cooperating with other children, although you can still expect plenty of lapses.

Most five-year-olds are eager to please and fit in with friends. She will try hard to follow the rules to avoid getting in trouble. At this age, your child may even say goodbye to tantrums altogether and will be better at waiting for the things she wants.

By birthday number six, most children show signs of losing gracefully in games and are becoming more responsible.

Play ideas to encourage the exploration of feelings

  • Messy play such as playing with sand, mud or paints is a great way for kids to express feelings, particularly if they're upset or angry.
  • Acting out feelings with puppets or toys can help make sense of emotions.
  • Going to a park or open area with lots of space for running, tumbling and rolling helps to release emotions.
  • Painting and drawing are great for expressing feelings.
  • Music also provides a great opportunity to express these emotions; she may like to jump around and ‘act out’ the music or to make her own music with simple instruments.
All children develop at their own pace. If you are concerned about any aspect of your child's development, it is a good idea to visit your health professional.
 
  • Last reviewed11-05-2006
  • References

    Child and Youth Health South Australia (1996). Practical parenting 1-5 years. Melbourne: ACER.

    Manning-Morton, J., & Thorp, M. (2003). Key times for play: The first three years. Philadelphia: Open University Press.

    Rubin, K.H., Bukowski, W., & Parker, J.G. (1998). Peer interactions, relationships and groups. In W. Damon & N. Eisenberg (Eds.), Handbook of child psychology: Vol. 3. Social, emotional and personality development (5th ed., pp. 619-700). New York: Wiley.