Raising Children Network: the Australian parenting website
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The birth: what fathers can expect

By Ngala, Hey Dad WA
 
 

The birth of a new baby can be joyful but also confronting and challenging for fathers. It can be helpful to prepare yourself physically and emotionally for this life-changing event.

Father pressing his cheek to his pregnant partner's belly

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Many new dads organise time off work for the birth of their baby. When thinking about this, you should:

  • discuss it with your partner
  • discuss it with your employer
  • decide how much time you will take off during and after the birth.

Remember that you may want or need to extend your leave after the birth.

 

The birth

New fathers who have been part of the birth process report a range of experiences – from it being the greatest event in their lives, to horror at seeing their partners in extreme pain. They have strong thoughts and feelings about the birth process, which they might not tell anyone about. These thoughts and feelings can be intensified if the birth did not go as planned or there are difficulties for the mother or baby. If this is the case, it's a good idea to find someone you can talk to about these feelings.

If you plan to be with your partner for the birth of your baby, it’s worth being prepared. Some new dads take a ‘hospital kit’, which might include:

  • camera, spare film and batteries
  • a supply of energy food and drinks
  • something to read, pack of cards and music to help pass the time if it is slow going
  • clean clothes, tooth brush, toiletries, medication and glasses
  • loose change for vending machines, telephone and parking
  • a note pad and pen
  • baby capsule with anchor points securely fitted in car.

After the birth

Most new parents feel a bit ‘all over the place’ after the birth. They often feel excited about the new baby but overwhelmed and exhausted by the birth. Many feel a sense of relief that the ordeal is over and they have a chance to rest. Some new dads are starting to think about the responsibility that lies ahead as a father.

This mixture of thoughts and feelings can be confusing. This is normal and you should try to get some rest when possible. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility, talk to your partner, a friend, or a relative who has children and knows what you’re talking about.

Bringing baby home from hospital

It’s a good idea to think about who you can ask for advice and practical support when your baby is born. Support can include shopping, meals preparation and care of other children. Try to have this organised so that it’s ready to go when you leave hospital.

When they first have children, many men feel like they are on the outside, looking in. Sometimes, men have to work hard to feel included in the processes of birth, breastfeeding and looking after babies. If you feel like this, it might help to talk to some other men who have had the same experience.