Family routines

• The basics
• Why routines are good for children
• Why routines are good for parents
• Kinds of routines
• Using routines to solve family problems

The basics

Routines are how families organise themselves to get things done, spend time together and have fun. Every family has its own unique routines. Routines help family members know who should do what, when, in what order and how often.

For example, your family might have:

• daily routines for getting everyone ready in the morning, bath time, bedtime and mealtimes, greetings and goodbyes
• weekly routines for housework, like washing and cleaning
• other routines involving holidays and extended family get-togethers.

Family life might be more chaotic without some routine, but there’s more to it than that. Routines also let your children know what’s important to your family. Highly meaningful routines are sometimes called rituals. These can help strengthen your shared beliefs and values, and build a sense of belonging and cohesion in families. 

Why routines are good for children

Some children like and need routine more than others. In general, though, routine has the following benefits for children:

• They can be a way of teaching younger children healthy habits, like brushing their teeth, getting some exercise, or washing their hands after using the toilet.
• An organised and predictable home environment helps children and young people feel safe and secure.
• Routines built around fun or spending time together strengthen relationships between parents and children. Reading a story together before bed or going for a special snack after soccer practice can become a special time for you and your children to share.
• Daily routines help set our body clocks. For example, bedtime routines help children’s bodies ‘know’ when it’s time to sleep. This can be particularly helpful when children reach adolescence and their body clocks start to change. You can read more about sleep in adolescence.
• If your child needs to take medicine regularly, a routine for this will help make both of you less likely to forget.
• Having an important job to do in the family routine helps older children and teenagers develop a sense of responsibility.
• Routines help develop basic work skills and time management.
• Routines can help promote a feeling of safety in stressful situations or during difficult stages of development, such as puberty.
• When children reach adolescence, the familiarity of regular home routines can help them feel looked after. Predictable family routines can be a welcome relief from the changes they’re experiencing.
• Routines for children with disabilities can be a big help. They can be even more important for children who find it hard to understand or cope with change.

Why routines are good for parents

Routines take some effort to create. But once established, they have lots of benefits:

• They free up time for you to think about other things while you work.
• Regular and consistent routines can help you feel like you’re doing a good job as a parent.
• When things are hectic, routines can help you feel more organised, which lowers stress.
• A routine will help you complete your daily tasks efficiently.
• As children get better at following a routine by themselves, you can give fewer instructions and nag less.
• Routines free you from having to constantly resolve disputes and make decisions. If Sunday night is pizza night, no-one needs to argue about what’s for dinner.

Kinds of routines

The routines adopted by families are as diverse as families themselves. Here are some routines you might want to consider for your family.

Using routines to solve family problems

There’s no rule about how many or what kind of routines you should have. What works well for one family might be too restrictive for another. It can also be easy to over-timetable life.

If you’re feeling you can’t find the time to do the things you want with your children, some new routines might help. Try thinking about the following questions:

• What do you do regularly with your family? Would life be easier and more enjoyable if these things ran more smoothly?
• Could children and other family members be involved more? How could you set up routines to include them?
• Are there activities you would like to do but aren’t doing? Can you include some of them in the family’s regular routine?

Video: getting everyone involved in changes to routine

8mb

This short video demonstration shows how families can work together to handle upcoming events and changes to family life. You can use regular family meetings to give everyone a say in the routines of your family life.

 

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