Family meals: a time for toddlers

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Just a generation or so ago, family mealtime usually involved everyone sitting down to consume leisurely, communal breakfasts and dinners. Today, however, with both parents frequently working outside the home and children engaged in a flurry of after-school programs, only shifting factions of the family are likely to take their place around the table at any given mealtime. And even when the older members eat together at a later dinner hour, young children often are fed different foods at different times from their parents and siblings.

While sometimes unavoidable, this isn't always the best arrangement if there are toddlers at your table. Sociable and impressionable, toddlers benefit a great deal by being included in the family meal, absorbing everything from table manners to family dynamics, social skills to an open-minded attitude toward new food.

House rules

Parents can help make mealtime a valuable learning experience for toddlers – as well as a more pleasurable time for all concerned – by setting up a few house rules.

It helps to eat around the same time every evening, to gather at the kitchen or dining room table, to keep the television set off, and to expect that everyone will spend a decent amount of time at the family meal – not wolf down their food as quickly as possible and then bolt to do homework, read the newspaper, or talk on the phone. Try to foster a calm, friendly atmosphere – this isn't the time to run down your list of your children's shortcomings or argue with your spouse. A stressful climate at the table quickly teaches children to regard mealtime as an ordeal, not a welcome break in everyone's day.

Minding their peas and cues

Family meals give a toddler the opportunity to learn how to eat by watching others. They observe how utensils are used and how certain foods (like corn on the cob) are eaten. They see pieces of sausage being dipped into sauce and butter spread on bread and are eager to try it for themselves. Watching parents and big brothers and sisters drink from cups makes the practice appealing to them.

Toddlers also pick up important social skills. They begin to understand concepts such as meals are eaten while sitting, you ask for more food or milk by saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you,’ and you don't reach across people to grab the salt or mustard. They learn to model soft, pleasant voices during mealtime, and observe how family members listen politely to each other and wait until someone else is finished talking before they begin to speak (we're talking about the overall situation here, of course – no family is this perfect-perfect all the time!) They also learn that throwing food is not acceptable and that no one spits their food out at the table, two conventions that don't come naturally to uninhibited toddlers.

Learning about food

Family meals also help teach toddlers about food. They may prefer to stick with a rather narrow array of favourite dishes for a while, but they will observe that there are many other types of interesting-looking foods in the world and might even venture to try a bite of something that obviously is pleasing their parents and older siblings. Helping to prepare meals also makes toddlers more willing to try different foods, so when possible, give your toddler simple tasks like tossing the salad or adding raisins or water to muffin batter.

When young, children are more likely to want to eat the food their parents eat. As they get older, they tend to want the foods that their friends (and the kids on commercials) eat. Thus, parents have a good opportunity to influence their children by eating a healthy diet when their children are young.

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