Letting go of the dummy

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Dummies are harmless and many parents swear they are a lifesaver when babies are young. But there comes a time when the dummy has to go. Sometimes children decide to give up their dummies by themselves, but most often parents are the ones who decide.

As a parent, you are best placed to decide on the right time for the dummy to go – it's your personal decision. Try not to feel rushed or pressured by the reactions of family, other children or even strangers.

Your child is likely to have become very attached to his dummy. Touching and sucking on the dummy will be comforting and, like other attachment objects, dummies can help young children manage everyday stress in their lives. He will not find it easy to part with it. So if you feel it’s time for the dummy to go, a gradual approach is the fairest and easiest.

Tips

When you are ready to stop or reduce your child’s use of a dummy, the following ideas can help.

• Take some pressure off by reminding yourself that sucking a dummy never becomes a lifelong habit. Many children will stop using a dummy by themselves. 
• Choose your timing – a period of change or stress for parent or child may not be a good time to give up. 
• If he is old enough to understand, talk to him about giving up the dummy. 
• When you and your child are ready to kick the dummy habit, begin by restricting dummy use to certain times and places, such as in the car or cot; this gives him a chance to get used to being without the dummy. 
• Encourage the use of other comforters such as a blanket or teddy if these are more socially acceptable. 
• Once he is coping for longer periods without the dummy, set a time and date then take away the dummy. 
• Mark the occasion of becoming dummy-free with a celebration or special reward. 
• Finally, try not to turn back. No matter how well you have prepared your child for this change, expect some discomfort and some protest. It may even help to literally lose the dummy (throwing them all away) so that the temptation to turn back is removed and you can be honest (but understanding) when you say you can't find it.

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