Bonding with your baby

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• Babyhood is a time for exploring the senses and laying the foundations for language.
• Babies work out that certain actions and sounds can get your attention.
• Maintaining a routine helps your baby to process all the information he is getting.
• You don’t need language to communicate. Repeating things helps your baby learn words.
• Playing games where things disappear helps babies learn you still exist when you leave the room.

Babyhood is a time of much parent-child face-pulling, conversations that nobody understands (but everyone loves) and, for all concerned, the power of the smile. Babies spend their days looking at faces, watching parents and siblings and refining skills that make them the centre of attention. 

After about three months, babies begin to learn that certain actions, such as smiling, cooing, crying or suddenly yelling louder than the television, can bring about emotional responses from adults. By nine months your baby’s brain has undergone a growth spurt that helps him to make associations between what he sees, hears, tastes and feels. His personality and temperament are becoming more and more defined. By 12 months, you will be used to watching your child constantly; you will have perfected the art of removing things from his mouth.

What happens in a baby’s everyday life has enormous bearing on how the brain develops. Parents who provide lots of love, attention and interesting experiences create the best conditions for their baby’s brain growth, learning and development.

2-6 months

During this time your baby begins to learn what his emotions are and what they’re for. By watching how you react when he expresses emotions, and by seeing you express your own feelings, he’s starting to know when he feels specific things, such as happiness, sadness, excitement or fearfulness.

When your baby first starts to deliberately catch your eye, look back into his eyes. When he makes noises, let him know you’re listening. Smiling, nodding, widening your eyes, lifting your brows and touching – as well as saying things like ‘What did you say?’ or ‘Aren’t you talking well!’ – encourage your baby to keep communicating. Researchers believe that seeing the way your face reacts when your baby does or says something helps him to understand the world and form relationships.

You can help your baby to calm down after he’s been emotionally excited by stroking him, saying gentle words and playing soothing music – it all helps him to develop emotional control. Maintaining a regular routine helps your baby to feel comfortable and make sense of all the sights, sounds, smells and tastes he is encountering for the first time.

6-9 months

This is a period of rapid development and brain growth. Increasingly independent and with improved motor skills, your baby will be able to sit by himself for short periods and might start crawling. As your baby begins to understand who he is, his memory improves and he begins to get attached to people and objects. 

If you give your baby lots of physical affection, toys he can become attached to, and verbal reminders of where you are as you move around a room, he will start to understand that things disappear and reappear. A fun game of peekaboo can also help him. Encouraging him to spend time with and get to like other carers means that you might occasionally be able to go out and leave him in somebody else’s care.

As your baby moves closer to 12 months he will become increasingly vocal. When he begins to make sounds – ‘ba ba ba’, ‘da da da’ – repeat them back to him. Repetition in speech – ‘Are you hungry?’ ‘You’re hungry aren’t you?’ ‘Ohhh, I’m hungry’ – teaches babies the meaning of words and leads to the development of speech and language. It is never too early to start talking to your baby. Hearing lots of words helps your child's intellectual development later on.

9-12 months

By this age, your baby’s ability to experience different emotions and moods has developed considerably and he is learning how to recognise when other people have emotions. As the front part of the brain develops, he is better able to entertain and reassure himself with familiar objects and people. He can move more and better, which means he can get away from things that upset or annoy him. He’s also starting to long for independence!

Encouraging activities that make your baby happy and changing activities when boredom or stress sets in will keep him involved and alert. Try play ideas like reading books, playing with toys and walking around the park pointing at things. 

Responding to emotional expressions – ‘Yes, I know you’re cranky, I’m coming back soon’ – helps your baby to identify emotions and understand the process of feeling better and worse.

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