Child development: 5-6 years

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Social/emotional development 
Developing understanding 
Physical development
Speech/language development
What you can do 
Alert  
Summary

Many children begin school at five. This is because by five most children have developed enough independence and understanding to enable them to cope away from home for such a length of time. As always, this varies with each child and some will be more ready than others to be away from their parents and to make relationships with people outside the family. Five can be an agreeable age when children are often willing to please and keen to ‘fit in’.

Social/emotional development

The family is still the centre of the world for five-year-olds. Although they will want to play with other children and may form some simple friendships, their important emotional life is still located inside the home.

They come in contact with different ideas and ways of behaving at school and also have to fit in to a whole new system or rules that might be very different to those at home. This can be confusing and tiring, so don't be surprised if your five-year-old is clingy, bossy or teary, especially after school. Each child responds to pressure in his own way.

Five-year-olds can share and often feel sympathetic to others, although they are not able to be responsible for younger brothers and sisters. Five-year-olds notice a lot about being a boy or being a girl and often the sexes play separately.

Your five-year-old is becoming more independent and in control of his behaviour. There will be fewer arguments and few tantrums, if any.

He is beginning to understand what it means to follow rules in a game and to be fair. However expect at times that it may be too much to cope with and he will cheat or get upset or not want to play.

Five-year-olds love to play together rather than playing by themselves.

They will often ask for permission before they do something as they are starting to learn about rules and right and wrong. You will often hear, ‘Can I?’

Your five-year-old can be reasoned with. He asks serious questions, and wants to be taken seriously. 

Five-year-olds are still very attached to their parents and may be upset when they begin school. 

Your child will be mostly independent in dressing and eating but may still have some difficulty cutting with a knife.

Developing understanding

Five-year-olds are beginning to get enough of a view of the world to be able to understand that differences can exist side by side. They begin to understand about values and they can understand that different families value different things. 

You can help your five-year-old understand that difference is not ‘yukky’ and explain to him why you do things in a particular way in your house. They like rules because the world is opening up to them quickly and rules offer a way of doing things that stops it all getting too confusing.

Five-year-olds understand a lot more about things like space and time, but most five-year-olds are not able to tell the time yet.

Your child will become very good at sorting things by colour, shape and size.

Five-year-olds can draw a person with a head, body, arms, legs and features such as eyes, nose and mouth.

They can draw a house with doors, windows and a roof. Your five-year-old can copy letters and write some from memory. They can name four colours and match 10-12 colours.

They can recognise letters but do not necessarily start to actually read yet.

At six years your child will be able to arrange objects from smallest to largest, shortest to longest and lightest to heaviest.

A six-year-old will understand that the quantity of a thing remains the same when arranged differently, e.g. that a ball of clay is the same amount when flattened out, or when water is poured from a  fat jug to a tall thin one, it is still the same amount of water.

Physical development

Five-year-olds are often confident and proud of their physical skills, although in their enthusiasm they can easily misjudge themselves and falls are common. It is not usually until the end of their fifth year that what they think they can do and what they can actually do are better matched.

Your five-year-old enjoys being active and is good at climbing, sliding, swinging and dancing.

Skipping is a new skill that five-year-olds are learning.

If they have had some practice, five-year-olds can catch a medium-sized ball.

Most five-year-olds can stand on one foot for a short time.

Most five-year-olds can hop forwards on each foot separately.

They have good control in writing and drawing and can colour in, staying within the lines.

Speech/language development

Most five-year-olds have a good command of their native language although they still have difficulty explaining complicated events or ideas and may leave out important bits. They can have the same difficulty misunderstanding complicated directions so we need to be careful to explain things in a clear and straightforward way to them.

If your child has started school he may come home with words that are not commonly used in your house. If some of those are offensive to you it is best to offer an alternative word and give a simple reason why you prefer that word.

They can speak clearly and can have a conversation with you about everyday subjects.

Five-year-olds are able to say their name, address, age and birthday.

Five-year-olds ask the meaning of words and can describe something by the way it is used, e.g. a knife is used for cutting.

They are able to tell stories and give a short talk to children at school, e.g. in ‘show and tell’.

Five-year-olds love to listen to stories and recite or sing rhymes and songs.

Five-year-olds love jokes and riddles.

What you can do

Your five-year-old will love to have your support and encouragement, particularly if he begins school in this year. He will notice what he can do and can't do in comparison with other children and may want your help to be better at something that is important to him (like hitting a ball).

You can help your child feel good about himself by concentrating on his special strengths.

Help him to have experiences of achievement and completion by getting him to do simple jobs around the house that he can easily accomplish (like putting out the knives and forks).

Allow him to be ‘little’ for short periods when being ‘big’ gets too tiring.

If there is a younger sibling at home, your five-year-old may feel jealous of all the time you spend together while he is at school. Making sure that you get a little bit of 'special time' with him will pay rich rewards in giving him the strength and confidence to meet school challenges.

Five-year-old boys need some special help from their fathers (or other close male friends or relatives). Mostly children still have more opportunity to see what it is like to be a woman than they have to see what it is like to be a man. They want to know what it feels like on the inside as well as what it looks like on the outside.

If boys have had a chance to spend time with their fathers and hear about their dad's feelings and his life outside the home, they will be much more confident getting on with other boys in social situations.

By five years it is usually clear whether the child is right-handed or left-handed. Do not try to force a left-handed child to use his right hand for writing and drawing. Almost all scissors are made for right-handed people. Left-handed people need to learn how to use right-handed scissors: scissors in right hand, manipulate paper with left hand.

Five-year-olds enjoy a wide range of dramatic plays, so have lots of dress-ups, props, puppets etc.

Provide opportunities for cutting, drawing and colouring, sorting objects, matching shapes and letters and enjoying music.

Five-year-olds like to know a lot of facts and you as a parent are a guide, resource and teacher to your child.

Continue to read stories to them.

If they are at school talk to the teacher about how they are going.

Make time to listen to how their day at school went.

Alert

Seek advice from a health professional if you are worried or if your child:

• is wetting or soiling during the day
• seems to be going backwards or wanting to be ‘little’ for a long time
• continues to be very anxious about separating from you after the first few weeks at school 
• is having difficulty learning at school.

Summary

Emotional/social development

• Five-year-olds still need their mothers or fathers (or special carers) and a close home base. 
• They are often keen to ‘fit in’ and learn the rules. 
• Starting school can be a challenge and they need your support to meet it.

Developing understanding 

• Five-year-olds begin to understand about sameness and difference in various aspects of life. 
• They begin to understand that differences can exist side by side. 
• They can begin to see different perspectives on the same subject, for example the same amount of water can look different in different containers.

Physical skills

• Five-year-olds are often proud of their physical skills but sometimes misjudge what they can do. 
• They are still developing running/jumping/climbing skills. 
• They can hold a pencil well and have good control of their hands although they are ‘clumsy’ sometimes.

Language 

• Keep calm when your five-year-old brings home strange words from school. 
• Read to them as much as you can because this helps them to want to read.   
• Talk to them lots – they miss not being with you during the day and their friends at school don’t really fill the gap until they are nearly six or older. 

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