yes0000Home001The complete Australian resource for parenting newborns to teensThe Australian parenting website: comprehensive, practical, expert child health and parenting information and activities covering children aged 0-15 years.© 2006-2012 Raising Children Network (Australia) Limited. All rights reserved.Warning: This website and the information it contains is not intended as a substitute for professional consultation with a qualified practitioner.© 2006-2012 Raising Children Network (Australia) LimitedThe Raising Children Network website will soon provide helpful tools and resources about raising children in the middle childhood and early teen years. Tell us your thoughts on teenagers and decision-making, by completing our survey. You might also like to join our forums for parents of pre-teens and early teens.Grownupsyes00Grown-upsGrown-upsInformation on family management, looking after yourself, dealing with separation and other issues effecting parents.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know?Item 1Item 2 Item 3 121101RightGrownupsyes00Being a ParentBeing a parentConnect with parents in similar circumstances in our Parents Like Me forums.Being a parent: in a nutshellBecoming a parent is a life-changing event – and life as a parent keeps changing too. There's a lot you can do to stay positive through the ups and downs of parenting today.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGrownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes10yes00PregnancyPregnancyLearn about what to expect from parenthood in our Being a Parent section.Pregnancy: in a nutshellPregnancy brings new physical and emotional experiences. For many women, it's an exciting event to celebrate with family and friends. But it can also bring uncertainty about the changes ahead.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowPrenatal classes can be a great place for fathers to talk to other men about how they are managing.121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00Looking After YourselfCare tips for parents' health and wellbeingLooking after yourselfA collection of articles to help parents look after their health, wellbeing and relationships.Share ideas and experiences with other parents in our parenting newborns forum.Looking after yourself: in a nutshellBecoming a parent is a big transition. You need to take care of yourself as well as your new baby. It's important to eat well, stay active and get as much rest as you can. Look after your relationship with your partner too - this will help you both get the most out of being parents.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowTaking care of yourself is the key to feeling good and getting the most out of being a parent. With the many changes that your new role brings - the amazing emotional and physical highs, and occasional lows - you might find it harder to look after you.121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00yes00Family ManagementFamily ManagementIf your family has special needs, visit our sections on Children with Autism and Children with a Disability.Family management: in a nutshellIt doesn’t matter what shape your family takes, so long as it provides a solid and loving base for your children. But a happy, well-functioning family doesn't just happen - it takes a bit of effort. Thinking about how you’d like your family to work is called family management.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowKids cope better if they have similar routines in times of change or disruption.121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Grownupsyes00Work & Child CareWork & Child CareFor information on money and finances, budgeting tools and government payments, visit our Family Management section.Work and family: in a nutshellStriking a balance between work and family can be tricky. When you get it right for your family, the rewards can outweigh the challenges. Here are some ideas for managing the return to work, helping your child adapt, looking after your relationship, and managing stress.read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101RightGrownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes10Grownupsyes00Services & SupportParenting services and support resourcesServices & SupportTo see a detailed map of the resources in your area, such as child care services, check out our My Neighbourhood tool. If your family has special needs, visit our sections on Children with Autism and Children with a DisabilityServices and support: in a nutshellAll parents need support. It can come from your family and friends, health and child care professionals, and information and community resources. Often, the first steps in getting support are asking for it, and accepting it when it’s offered.read the full articleread the full articleLinks to resources & services121101RightGrownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00FathersFathersStep-by-step Parenting in Pictures guides can help you master essential child care skills and techniques such as CPR, bathing and healthy mealtimes. They're great to print and stick on the fridge as a reference for you and your partner. Baby Karaoke is a fun, interactive way to sing along to popular children's songs.Becoming a dadThere's a lot to think about when you're a new dad. As you adjust to fatherhood, you need to look after your baby, yourself and your relationship. Getting hands-on experience is the best way of building your skills and your confidence. The key is to get in and give it a go.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGrownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes10Grownupsyes00Dealing with SeparationDealing with separationAn interactive feature which offers tips and tools for dealing with separation. Requires the Flash Player plugin.Dealing with Separation was developed by the Child Support Agency (CSA) with the help of The Learning Group. The feature is best-suited to BROADBAND USERS. Dial-up users can order a free CD-ROM from CSA.This material is copyright of the Commonwealth of Australia, and reproduced under permission of the Commonwealth. read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know120101RightParenting After SeparationParenting After SeparationConnect with other parents in similar circumstances in our Parents Like Me forums.Successful sole parentingYou can be a successful parent, regardless of your family circumstances. What matters is how children are parented, not the type of household they live in. Successful parents build good relationships with their children, manage difficult behaviours, and handle their own feelings.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGrownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Dealing with SeparationDealing with separationAn interactive feature which offers tips and tools for dealing with separation. Requires the Flash Player plugin.Dealing with Separation was developed by the Child Support Agency (CSA) with the help of The Learning Group. The feature is best-suited to BROADBAND USERS. Dial-up users can order a free CD-ROM from CSA.This material is copyright of the Commonwealth of Australia, and reproduced under permission of the Commonwealth. read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121111RightGrownupsyes10yes1011Parents Like Meyes10yes00yes00Mothers Day 2010 competition finalistsMothers' storiesThis selection of stories are the winning entries in our 2010 Mother's Day competition.In Australia, mums and families come in all shapes and sizes. These mothers' stories are the winning entries in our 2010 Mother's Day competition.Thank you to everyone who took the time and effort to enter our Mother’s Day competition and tell us what it’s like to be a mother in Australia in 2010. We received hundreds of inspirational stories and had a tough time choosing the five winning entries. We are thrilled to feature the five winners’ stories below. Sally's* story – a single mother of two reflects on surviving domestic violence.Jude's story – a mother of three reflects on bringing up boys solo and the effort required to keep them together as a tight family unit.Mahboubeh's story – a mother of one reflects on becoming a mother in a new country and coping without family support.Sharon's story – a mother of two reflects on the challenges and rewards of having children far apart in age.Kirsty's story – a mother of one reflects on what it means to become a mum for the first time.*name changed to protect identityDid you know that Raising Children Network is now on Facebook? Become a fan today and we'll keep you posted with regular updates on a variety of parenting topics and ideas.  read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know120101Rightyes00workingwithparentssub00Working with ParentsWorking with Parentsread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Right0000000010Practice ResourcesPractice resourcesBy the Centre for Community Child Health at The Royal Children's Hospital, MelbourneThese 11 resources, presented as PDFs to print out, assist professionals with practical strategies to support their daily work with young children and their families.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Right0000Newbornsyes00Newborns (0-3 months)New born babies, care for newborns (0-3 months)Newbornsread the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Rightyes00Newborns BehaviourBehaviourShare ideas and experiences with other new parents in our discussion forums.Newborn behaviour: in a nutshellIn your baby’s early months, baby is working out what the world is like. If baby cries and someone comes with cuddles and kisses, baby learns that the world is a safe and caring place. Every bit of attention you give now helps your baby grow and develop.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes10yes00yes00Newborns Connecting & CommunicatingCommunicate and bond with your newborn babyConnecting & CommunicatingShare your experiences of connecting and communicating with your newborn in our discussion forums.Newborn connecting and communicating: in a nutshellYou can communicate with your newborn using your voice, touch, sight and smell. Crying is the main way that newborns communicate with you. And a cuddle with your newborn is worth a whole conversation. It lets babies know they're safe and loved.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Newborns DevelopmentDevelopmentShare experiences with other parents and find support in our newborn discussion forum.Newborn development: in a nutshellNewborns come in all shapes and sizes. When babies are active and feeding well, it probably doesn't matter if they don't fit neatly into the growth charts. But you know your baby best. If you're worried about your baby's development, see your GP or child health nurse.read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Right00yes0000yes10yes00Newborns Health & Daily CareHealth & Daily CareNewborn health: in a nutshellDon't be afraid to ask questions about your newborn's health – and keep asking until you find out what you want to know. Always consult a health professional if you're worried your child is unwell.read the full articleNewborn daily care: in a nutshellCaring for a brand new baby can be daunting. If you know the basics of baby daily care, it can make your job easier and more enjoyable.read the full articleImmunisation is a simple, safe and effective way of protecting your child and yourself against some diseases that can cause serious illness and sometimes death. Immunisations can be provided by your doctor, immunisation clinics, local councils, community child health nurses and by some hospitals.Articlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Newborns NutritionNutritionShare experiences of breastfeeding and bottle-feeding newborns in our newborn discussion forum.Newborn nutrition: in a nutshellBreastmilk is the perfect food for your baby. If you can’t breastfeed, formula is the only acceptable substitute. For their first six months, babies need nothing other than breastmilk or formula to eat or drink.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes10yes00yes00Newborns Play & LearningPlay & LearningNewborns love songs and the sound of your voice. Sing to your child with a little help from Baby Karaoke.Newborn play and learning: in a nutshellPlay helps babies learn about themselves and their world. All you need to get started is you and your newborn. At this age, a baby is easily tired and might manage only a few minutes of stimulation at a time.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00Newborns SafetySafetyNewborn safety: in a nutshellNewborn babies are on a journey of discovery. They depend on you to keep them safe. Check for safety hazards around the home, in the bedroom and bathroom, and in the car. It's a good idea to have a list of emergency phone numbers stuck on the fridge.read the full articleNewborn safety: what to expectKeeping a tiny little newborn safe can seem like a big responsibility, but it isn’t as scary as it might seem. From day one, you can help protect your precious new addition by following a few safety basics and creating a safe environment.read the full articleShare ideas and swap experiences of caring for newborns in our newborn discussion forum.Articlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Newborns SleepSleepNewborn sleep: in a nutshellNewborn babies need lots of sleep – but they also need to fill their tiny tummies at regular intervals. A newborn will usually sleep for 2-4 hours at a time, wake up for a feed and short play, and then drop off again.read the full articlePreventing SIDSThis illustrated guide gives you the basics on sleep safety for newborns and babies. It covers safe sleeping positions, safe bedding and clothes, and safe sleeping do's and don'ts.read the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Right00yes00yes00yes00yes10Babiesyes00Babies (3-12 months)BabiesThe Babies section of the Raising Children website provides information on health, daily care, nutrition, safety and other topics relevant to babies ages 3-12 months.read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Rightyes00Babies BehaviourBehaviourShare your experiences of baby behaviour in our  discussion forums.Baby behaviour: in a nutshellBy three months, babies have developed some impressive capabilities. They're curious about the world. They have strong feelings and attachments. They need some boundaries. Best of all, when your baby smiles at you, it’s not just wind. It actually means something.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00yes00Babies Connecting & CommunicatingConnecting & CommunicatingShare your experiences of connecting and communicating with your baby in our discussion forums.Baby connecting and communicating: in a nutshellConnecting with your baby means communicating with your eyes, your voice, your facial expressions and some comforting cuddles. Lots of positive attention will help your baby learn and develop.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Babies DevelopmentDevelopmentNeed to find a local child health nurse, playgroup or child care centre? Our My Neighbourhood tool can help.Baby development: in a nutshellAll babies develop in the same order but at completely different rates. One seven-month-old might be crawling around and chattering madly. Another might be playing silently on his playmat. This is all pretty normal.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Babies Health & Daily CareBaby Care, Babies Health & Daily CareHealth & Daily CareBaby health: in a nutshellAs your baby’s on-call nurse, you’ll want to know when it's time to call for the doctor. Call or see your doctor is your baby suddenly seems lethargic, has trouble breathing, stops weeing or develops a high fever. Read this article for more signs of serious illness.read the full articleBabies daily care: in a nutshellBy the time your newborn becomes a baby, you’ve probably got clothes, nappies and bathtime under control. But now there are teeth to think about. You can start cleaning them as soon as they appear.read the full articleImmunisation is a simple, safe and effective way of protecting your child and yourself against some diseases that can cause serious illness and sometimes death. Immunisations can be provided by your doctor, immunisation clinics, local councils, community child health nurses and by some hospitals.ArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Babies NutritionNutritionTry to stay relaxed as baby tries first foods. Share your experiences in our discussion forums.Baby nutrition: in a nutshellBreastmilk or formula gives babies all the nutrition they need until they’re six months old. By about that age, they’re ready for their first spoonful of solids. Start introducing foods one at a time.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Babies Play & LearningPlay & LearningShare ideas for playing with your baby in our discussion forums.Baby play and learning: in a nutshellPlaying is one of the best things you and your baby can do together. Play is how babies develop a sense of themselves and their place in the world. Start with reading books, and playing simple games like pat-a-cake and peekaboo.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Babies SafetySafetyShare ideas and swap experiences of caring for babies in our discussion forum. Baby safety: in a nutshellAs babies become more mobile, keeping your home safe becomes a full-time job. Before you spend up big on the latest safety gadgets, note that supervision is the only reliable prevention against accidents.read the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Babies SleepSleepBaby sleep: in a nutshellBy the time babies are three months old, they tend to sleep more at night and stay awake longer during the day. A comforting bedtime routine can lead to a better night’s sleep for your baby and for you.read the full articlePreventing SIDSThis illustrated guide gives you the basics on sleep safety for newborns and babies. It covers safe sleeping positions, safe bedding and clothes, and safe sleeping do's and don'ts.read the full articleTired of being up all night with baby? Our guide to solving sleep problems explains how you can help your baby change sleep patterns.ArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes10Toddlersyes00Toddlers (1-3 years)Toddlersread the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Rightyes00Toddlers BehaviourBehaviourToddler behaviour: in a nutshellBy this age, children are bundles of curiosity, with enquiring and demanding minds of their own. Many children start to control their urges, change their behaviour and do as mum or dad asks. Not all the time, of course!read the full articleEncouraging good behaviour: 15 tipsListen actively, praise your child, catch your child being good, give simple instructions, and give children more responsibility for behaviour as they get older. This article explains these and other tips for encouraging good behaviour in your child.read the full articleLearn about some of the strategies you can use to encourage good behaviour in children in our behaviour toolkit.ArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes10Toddlers Behaviour ToolkitHelp with children's behaviourBehaviour toolkitA guide to encouraging good behaviour, including attending, developing skills and routines.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00yes00Toddlers Connecting & CommunicatingConnecting & CommunicatingLearn some of the strategies to help you talk and listen to your child in a positive, constructive way in our guide for talking to children.Toddler connecting and communicating: in a nutshellWith a lot of attitude and not too many words, toddlers need your help to be understood. You can help your toddler handle and express big feelings by really tuning into what your child is trying to say.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes10A guide for talking to toddlersIntroductionA series of articles about communicating with your toddler, including listening techniques and negotiating.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes10yes10yes00Toddlers DevelopmentDevelopmentNeed to find a local child health nurse, playgroup or child care centre? Our My Neighbourhood tool can help.Toddler development: in a nutshellDevelopment is a journey, not a race. Your toddler will probably develop in fits and starts. One week, your child might proudly learn to kick a ball and name three body parts. Then nothing happens for a while. The development process will soon kick-start again.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00Toddlers Health & Daily CareToddler Care, Toddlers Health & Daily CareHealth & Daily CareToddler health: in a nutshellToddlers seem to be constantly catching something - colds, coughs, sniffles and even fevers. Fluids, comfort and rest are usually the best remedy. But if you're worried, don't hesitate to ask a health care professional for advice.read the full articleToddler daily care: in a nutshellToddlers need to learn how to go to the toilet, get dressed, and brush their teeth. A bit of effort now soon leads to that proud day when your child declares, ‘I can do it myself!’read the full articleImmunisation is a simple, safe and effective way of protecting your child and yourself against some diseases that can cause serious illness and sometimes death. Immunisations can be provided by your doctor, immunisation clinics, local councils, community child health nurses and by some hospitals.ArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Toddlers Nutrition & FitnessNutrition & FitnessToddler nutrition and fitness: in a nutshellYou can help your child learn to love good food and enjoy physical activity. The toddler years are a good time to establish healthy habits for life. Start by eating well yourself - your child will want to eat what you're eating.read the full articleNutrition and fitness: the basicsThis article covers your child's five basic nutritional needs, as well as foods your child should avoid. It includes information on appetite, happy mealtimes, exercise for children, and screen time.read the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Toddlers Play & LearningPlay & LearningToddlers love songs and singing games. Sing to your child with a little help from Baby Karaoke.Toddler play and learning: in a nutshellFor toddlers, play is an essential part of learning. It's how they develop physical skills, self-esteem and confidence. Toddlers love craft and creating, pretend play, outdoor play and - of course - books and reading.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Toddlers SafetySafetyConnect with other parents, and share ideas about toddler safety in our discussion forums.Toddler safety: in a nutshellToddlers want to explore and do things for themselves. Remove sources of danger and establish a few sensible rules to help keep your child safe. Supervision is the only reliable way of preventing accidents.read the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10Toddlers SleepSleepTired of being up all night with your toddler? Our guide to solving baby sleep problems can also help your older child develop positive sleep habits.Toddler sleep: in a nutshellToddlers need 10-12 hours sleep a night. Most of them can do with an hour or two in the middle of the day as well. A firm and consistent bedtime routine will help most toddlers settle down to sleep.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00Preschoolersyes00Preschoolers (3-5 years)PreschoolersThe Preschoolers section of the Raising Children website includes information on behaviour, nutrition, play and learning, safety and other topics relevant to preschool children aged 3-5 years.read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Rightyes00Preschoolers BehaviourBehaviourPreschooler behaviour: in a nutshellPreschoolers are working out that other people have feelings too. When they remember, they'll want to be considerate of those feelings. Preschool can help children of this age learn about getting along with others.read the full articleEncouraging good behaviour: 15 tipsListen actively, praise your child, catch your child being good, give simple instructions, and give children more responsibility for behaviour as they get older. This article explains these and other tips for encouraging good behaviour in your child.read the full articleLearn about some of the strategies you can use to encourage good behaviour in children in our behaviour toolkit.ArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes10Preschoolers Behaviour ToolkitIntroductionA guide to encouraging good behaviour include skills such as attending, descriptive praise, consequences and routines.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00yes00Preschoolers Connecting & CommunicatingConnecting & CommunicatingLearn some of the strategies to help you talk and listen to your child in a positive, constructive way in our guide for talking to children.Preschooler connecting and communicating: in a nutshellYour preschooler has to learn how to deal with emotions and develop social skills. Loving, secure relationships create strong foundations for your child's development. It's important to make special time for your child every day.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes10A guide for talking to preschoolersIntroductionA series of articles about communicating with your preschooler, including listening techniques and tackling tough topics.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes10yes10yes00Preschoolers DevelopmentDevelopmentFind out more about the development of children with special needs. You can also connect with other parents in our discussion forums.Preschooler development: in a nutshellYour preschooler's list of achievements probably includes making friends, understanding feelings and climbing trees. Some skills are especially important for your preschooler's development - for example, being able  to speak clearly and be understood by others.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00Preschoolers Health & Daily CareHealth & Daily CareImmunisation is a simple, safe and effective way of protecting your child and yourself against some diseases that can cause serious illness and sometimes death. Immunisations can be provided by your doctor, immunisation clinics, local councils, community child health nurses and by some hospitals.Preschooler health and daily care: in a nutshellPreschoolers tend to have lots of contact with other children at preschool, playgroup and parties. So your child is likely to pick up the latest bug. Usually it’s nothing to worry about. But young children can get worse quickly, so be aware of signs of serious illness.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Preschoolers Nutrition & FitnessNutrition & FitnessPreschooler nutrition and fitness: in a nutshellNow is a perfect time to help your preschooler establish healthy eating and exercise habits for life. If you eat well and stay active yourself, you set a great example for your child. Better still -- exercising and eating with your child can be fun!read the full articleNutrition and fitness: the basicsThis article covers your child's five basic nutritional needs, as well as foods your child should avoid. It includes information on appetite, happy mealtimes, exercise for children, and screen time.read the full articleDiscover delicious recipes that are suitable for all the family (preschoolers included) with our healthy meal ideas.ArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes10Food & recipesFood & recipesThis page provides links to the food and recipes suitable for preschool children throughout the Raising Children website.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Preschoolers Play & LearningPlay & LearningChildren love songs and singing games. Sing to your child with a little help from Baby Karaoke.Preschooler play and learning: in a nutshellBy age four or five, your preschooler might have one or two special friends. Play starts to unlock the social skills your child will use throughout life, like how to get along with friends. It also helps children learn about themselves and where they fit in the world.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Preschoolers SafetySafetyConnect with other parents, and share ideas about preschool children's safety in our discussion forums.Preschooler safety: in a nutshellA whole new world has opened up for your preschooler, much of it outside the safety of your home. Preschoolers are old enough to learn some simple safety rules, like holding hands while you cross the road. But supervision is always the most reliable way to prevent accidents.read the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Preschoolers SleepSleepShare ideas about preschooler sleep and other issues with parents in our discussion forums.Preschooler sleep: in a nutshellA preschooler’s rapidly expanding imagination can sometimes get in the way of a good night’s sleep. At this age, children need 11-13 hours of sleep a night. By listening to your child’s fears and helping overcome them, you can keep the bedtime monsters away.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00SchoolAgeyes00School Age (5-8 years)School AgeInformation about school-age children including behaviour, connecting and communicating, development, health, nutrition, play and learning, safety and sleep.read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Rightyes10School Age BehaviourBehaviourSchool-age behaviour: in a nutshellIt’s time for your child to go to school. Some children take to school like ducks to water. Others are less enthusiastic about leaving the nest for the classroom. You can make it easier for your child to handle this big transition.read the full articleEncouraging good behaviour: 15 tipsListen actively, praise your child, catch your child being good, give simple instructions, and give children more responsibility for behaviour as they get older. This article explains these and other tips for encouraging good behaviour in your child.read the full articleLearn about some of the strategies you can use to encourage good behaviour in children in our behaviour toolkit.ArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes10School Age Behaviour ToolkitIntroductionA guide to encouraging good behaviour include skills such as attending, descriptive praise, consequences and routines.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00School Age Connecting & CommunicatingConnecting & CommunicatingLearn some of the strategies to help you talk and listen to your child in a positive, constructive way in our guide for talking to children.School-age connecting and communicating: in a nutshellDuring the early school years, home life and family relationships are still the biggest influence on a child’s development. Good family relationships and lots of positive attention are just what your child needs to learn and grow.read the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes10A guide for talking to school-age childrenIntroductionA series of articles about communicating with your child, including listening techniques and tackling tough topics.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes10yes00School Age DevelopmentDevelopmentFind out more about the development of children with special needs. You can also connect with other parents in our discussion forums.School-age development: in a nutshellYour school-age child's development depends a lot on temperament, cultural influences and how important grown-ups behave. It's also affected by how secure your child feels in relationships with grown-ups. Opportunities to socialise with other children are important too.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00School Age Health & Daily CareHealth & Daily CareImmunisation is a simple, safe and effective way of protecting your child and yourself against some diseases that can cause serious illness and sometimes death. Immunisations can be provided by your doctor, immunisation clinics, local councils, community child health nurses and by some hospitals.School-age health and daily care: in a nutshellSchool age children are prone to all the same illnesses as younger children. They also add a new one to the list – growing pains. You know your child best. If you have any worries, seek professional medical advice.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00School Age Nutrition & FitnessNutrition & FitnessSchool-age nutrition and fitness: in a nutshellYour child’s eating habits are mostly influenced by the way your family eats and then by how your child’s friends eat. Your child looks to you as the main eating role model, so be sure to provide healthy meals and snacks at home. And try exercising as a family – it can be fun!read the full articleNutrition and fitness: the basicsThis article covers your child's five basic nutritional needs, as well as foods your child should avoid. It includes information on appetite, happy mealtimes, exercise for children, and screen time.read the full articleDiscover delicious recipes that are suitable for all the family (school-age children included) with our healthy meal ideas.ArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes10Food & recipesFood & recipesThis page provides links to the food and recipes suitable for school-age children throughout the Raising Children website.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes10yes00School Age Play & LearningPlay and learningOur child-friendly movie guide offers film reviews, easy-to-understand classifications and age recommendations.School-age play and learning: in a nutshellPlaying together encourages and enhances your child’s development. Playing games with others helps school-age children learn about rules, fair play, right and wrong. And after a day at school, playtime is also important for unwinding and having fun.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00School Age SafetySafetyConnect with other parents, and share ideas about school-age children's safety in our discussion forums.School-age safety: in a nutshellAll children have the right to feel safe, both inside and outside the home. To protect your chldren, you can teach them some simple safety rules. Supervision is still the best way of preventing accidents and keeping your child safe from danger.read the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00School Age SleepSleepConnect with other parents, and share ideas about school-age children's sleep in our discussion forums.School-age sleep: in a nutshellSchool-age children need 10-11 hours sleep a night. They're usually able to sleep through the night without waking up. Often tired after school, they might look forward to bedtime from about 7.30 pm. A good night’s sleep is important for their growth and development.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00Preteensyes00Pre-teens (9-11 years)Pre-teensInformation about pre-teen children including behaviour, connecting and relationships, development, entertainment and technology, health, parenting and education.read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Rightyes00Pre-teens BehaviourBehaviourShare your experiences of adolescent behaviour in our pre-teens forum.Teenage sibling fighting‘Who said you could wear my clothes?’ ‘Get out of my room!’ ‘You’ve been on the computer for hours!’ It’s normal for teenage siblings to fight. The good news is that handled the right way, sibling conflict can help children learn important life skills.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00Talking to Teens interactive guideTalking to teens interactive guideTalking to teens interactive guideAn interactive feature showing some tricky parent and teen situations and exploring how different approaches to communicating with teenagers can get different results. Requires the Flash Player plugin. More to exploreThese short videos demonstrate how parents might handle various issues with teenagers.Family meetingsProblem-solvingTricky conversationsChanging family rulesDescriptive praiseMore to exploreThese short videos demonstrate how parents might handle various issues with teenagers.Family meetingsProblem-solvingTricky conversationsChanging family rulesDescriptive praise read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00Pre-teens Communicating & RelationshipsCommunicating & RelationshipsShifting responsibilityAs children learn and develop, they want and need more responsibility. It’s an important part of their growth and development. But it can be hard for you to let go. It helps to think about the areas of responsibility your child can handle.read the full articleStaying connected and being availableAs teenagers become more independent, they often spend more time away from home. But you can still maintain a strong positive relationship and stay connected. Use everyday and planned interactions to build closeness with your child.read the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00Talking to Teens interactive guideTalking to teens interactive guideTalking to teens interactive guideAn interactive feature showing some tricky parent and teen situations and exploring how different approaches to communicating with teenagers can get different results. Requires the Flash Player plugin. More to exploreThese short videos demonstrate how parents might handle various issues with teenagers.Family meetingsProblem-solvingTricky conversationsChanging family rulesDescriptive praiseMore to exploreThese short videos demonstrate how parents might handle various issues with teenagers.Family meetingsProblem-solvingTricky conversationsChanging family rulesDescriptive praise read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00Pre-teens DevelopmentDevelopmentFind out more about the development of children with special needs. You can also connect with other parents in our discussion forums.Pre-teen development: in a nutshellThe time between childhood and young adulthood is one of rapid change – physical, emotional, cognitive and social. During this time, children’s bodies change in different ways at different times. No two teenage bodies are the same.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Pre-teens Entertainment & TechnologyYoung teenagers entertainment & technologyEntertainment & TechnologyTelevision, movies, computer games and the internet can be a positive influence on your teenager, especially if you get involved when they are using them.Our guide to the latest movies helps you choose the right ones for your child, with reviews, easy-to-understand classifications and age recommendations.Pre-teen entertainment and technology: in a nutshellTelevision, movies, computer games and the internet can be a positive influence on your teenager, especially if you get involved when they are using them. But it can be hard to pick the good from the bad when it comes to media. Your challenge is to help your child enjoy the benefits of media while avoiding the risks. read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Pre-teens Health & WellbeingHealth & WellbeingMental health and wellbeing: an overviewMental health is an essential part of wellbeing. Promote your child’s mental health by working on positive family relationships, talking about feelings, dealing openly with problems, and encouraging healthy eating, exercise and sleep habits.read the full articleAnxiety in adolescenceMost young people feel anxious at some stage. After all, adolescence is full of new challenges and experiences, and anxiety is a normal response. The ability to manage anxiety is an important life skill, which you can help your teenager learn.read the full articleThere's a strong link between the quality of parent–teenager relationships and young people’s mental health. Connect with other parents and share ideas for building relationships in our pre-teens forum.ArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Pre-teens School & EducationSchool & EducationOur Parenting Teenagers alerts offer ideas to help you understand, encourage and support your child’s path through the school years and towards greater independence.Starting secondary schoolOne of the biggest transitions in a child’s life is moving from primary to secondary school – it can be full of fun, excitement and new experiences. But it can also be challenging. You can help by ensuring your child is prepared and feels supported.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes10Earlyteensyes00Early Teens (12-15 years)Early teensInformation about early teenage children including behaviour, connecting and relationships, development, entertainment and technology, health, parenting and education.read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Rightyes00Early Teens BehaviourBehaviourShare your experiences of adolescent behaviour in our early teens forum.Teenage sibling fighting‘Who said you could wear my clothes?’ ‘Get out of my room!’ ‘You’ve been on the computer for hours!’ It’s normal for teenage siblings to fight. The good news is that handled the right way, sibling conflict can help children learn important life skills.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00Talking to Teens interactive guideTalking to teens interactive guideTalking to teens interactive guideAn interactive feature showing some tricky parent and teen situations and exploring how different approaches to communicating with teenagers can get different results. Requires the Flash Player plugin. More to exploreThese short videos demonstrate how parents might handle various issues with teenagers.Family meetingsProblem-solvingTricky conversationsChanging family rulesDescriptive praiseMore to exploreThese short videos demonstrate how parents might handle various issues with teenagers.Family meetingsProblem-solvingTricky conversationsChanging family rulesDescriptive praise read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00Early Teens Communicating & RelationshipsCommunicating & RelationshipsShifting responsibilityAs children learn and develop, they want and need more responsibility. It’s an important part of their growth and development. But it can be hard for you to let go. It helps to think about the areas of responsibility your child can handle.read the full articleStaying connected and being availableAs teenagers become more independent, they often spend more time away from home. But you can still maintain a strong positive relationship and stay connected. Use everyday and planned interactions to build closeness with your child.read the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00Talking to Teens interactive guideTalking to teens interactive guideTalking to teens interactive guideAn interactive feature showing some tricky parent and teen situations and exploring how different approaches to communicating with teenagers can get different results. Requires the Flash Player plugin. More to exploreThese short videos demonstrate how parents might handle various issues with teenagers.Family meetingsProblem-solvingTricky conversationsChanging family rulesDescriptive praiseMore to exploreThese short videos demonstrate how parents might handle various issues with teenagers.Family meetingsProblem-solvingTricky conversationsChanging family rulesDescriptive praise read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00Early Teens DevelopmentDevelopmentFind out more about the development of children with special needs. You can also connect with other parents in our discussion forums.Early teen development: in a nutshellThe time between childhood and young adulthood is one of rapid change – physical, emotional, cognitive and social. During this time, children’s bodies change in different ways at different times. No two teenage bodies are the same.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Early Teens Entertainment & TechnologyOlder teenagers entertainment & technologyEntertainment & TechnologyOur guide to the latest movies helps you choose the right ones for your child, with reviews, easy-to-understand classifications and age recommendations.Early teen entertainment and technology: in a nutshellTelevision, movies, computer games and the internet can be a positive influence on your teenager, especially if you get involved when they are using them. But it can be hard to pick the good from the bad when it comes to media. Your challenge is to help your child enjoy the benefits of media while avoiding the risks. read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Early Teens Health & WellbeingHealth & WellbeingMental health and wellbeing: an overviewMental health is an essential part of wellbeing. Promote your child’s mental health by working on positive family relationships, talking about feelings, dealing openly with problems, and encouraging healthy eating, exercise and sleep habits.read the full articleSleep for children: 12-15 yearsSleep and sleep patterns start to change during adolescence. Adolescence also brings lots of reasons to miss out on sleep, but your child needs good-quality sleep more than ever. In fact, teenagers need about 9 ¼ hours of sleep each night.read the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes00yes10yes00Early Teens School & EducationSchool & EducationOur Parenting Teenagers alerts offer ideas to help you understand, encourage and support your child’s path through the school years and towards greater independence.Starting secondary schoolOne of the biggest transitions in a child’s life is moving from primary to secondary school – it can be full of fun, excitement and new experiences. But it can also be challenging. You can help by ensuring your child is prepared and feels supported.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesDid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes00yes10Specialneeds00Children with Special NeedsSpecial Needs ChildrenSpecial Needsread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121001Rightyes01Children with a DisabilityChildren with a DisabilityUse the Disability Reference to search for brief explanations of disability terms as well as definitions of the disability professionals you may encounter. Share ideas with other parents of children with a disability in our discussion forum.Your child's disability and your feelingsWhen you find out your child has a disability, you might feel emotionally overwhelmed. This won’t always be the case. But as you come to terms with the diagnosis, there are some effective ways to manage your feelings and move forward with family life.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes10Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes00Grownupsyes1001Children with Autism Spectrum DisorderChildren with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)Children with AutismThe Children with Autism section of the Raising Children website offers information, interactive tools and parent guides on raising a child with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know12Therapies and servicesBasics about ASD1011Rightyes00Learning about ASDLearning about ASDIf you’re worried your child might have ASD, it’s important to get help early. Use the Autism Services Pathfinder to find out how to get a diagnosis.Autism spectrum disorderAutism spectrum disorder (ASD) is an umbrella term that refers to a range of conditions that share some common characteristics, including autistic disorder and Asperger’s disorder. The causes of ASD are unclear, but its characteristics include difficulties with communicating, problem-solving and social skills.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Right00yes00000010yes00yes00ASD Therapies & ServicesTherapies & ServicesBrowse a range of therapies and interventions, including approximate cost and time commitments in our Parent Guide to Therapies.Types of interventions for children with ASDIf you’re the parent of a child with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), you’ll come across many different interventions for the condition. There’s no need to become an expert. But if you can get a handle on the main intervention types, you’ll be better able to understand your options.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Right00yes00yes00yes00yes001000Parent Guide to TherapiesParent Guide to TherapiesReliable information about a wide range of therapies and interventions for children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), including research ratings, and approximate time and costs involved.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowParent Guide to TherapiesOur therapies guide offers reliable information about a wide range of therapies and interventions for children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Each guide gives an overview of the therapy, what research says about the therapy and the approximate time and costs involved.To learn more, including how to use the guide and where the information in the guide comes from, read our frequently asked questions.Use the A‐Z index above to find guides for specific therapies OR browse the therapies by category using the menu on the left.121101Right1010101010101010101000Autism Services PathfinderAutism Services Pathfinder for children with ASDServices Pathfinderread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowAutism Services PathfinderThis interactive tool can help you find your way through the services and supports available, both for your child and for your whole family. You can use the tool to find:where to start with autism serviceswhich professionals you might need to seewhen you might need to plan for the futurenames, addresses, websites and phone numbers.Before using the Autism Services Pathfinder, you may first want to read more about the services environment and how to choose intervention services. You can also watch our ASD videos to hear parents’ stories about diagnosis, early intervention, starting school and getting support.To get started, choose a path under the statement below that best reflects the stage you are at now. I'm worried my child might have autismMy child has an ASD diagnosis, what do I do?121101Right00Path overviewI'm worried my child might have autismread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowI'm worried my child might have autism121101Right00Path overviewMy child has an ASD diagnosisread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowMy child has an ASD diagnosis, what do I do?121101RightGetting an ASD diagnosis in NSWASD diagnosis: NSWAutism Spectrum Australia (Aspect) is your state autism association. It can provide information about how to get a diagnosis in New South Wales:Building 1, Level 214 Aquatic DriveFrenchs Forest NSW 2086Phone: 02 8977 8300Info line: 1800 069 978Email: infoline@autismspectrum.org.auContact Autism Spectrum AustraliaGP or child health nurseUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs and child health clinics in your local area.Child specialistPaediatrician or child psychiatristYour GP should be able to refer you to a paediatrician or child psychiatrist who has experience in assessing and diagnosing autism spectrum disorder (ASD) in children. If you have trouble finding a child specialist with ASD experience, Autism Spectrum Australia might be able to help.PsychologistUse the Australian Psychological Society’s find a psychologist tool to get contact details for psychologists who have registered as having expertise in working with children and ASD.View the Autism Awareness NSW directory for details of psychologists in your area.Diagnostic assessmentYour GP, nurse or child specialist should be able to direct you to practitioners in your area who do diagnostic assessments. For assessments carried out on a public basis, your local area health service is a good place to start. Your state autism association can also provide useful information about where and how a child can be assessed for the purpose of getting a diagnosis.Government funded servicesSome services are funded by the government to provide diagnostic assessments which you won’t have to pay for. Contact these services below for more information.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting an ASD diagnosis in WAASD diagnosis: WAAutism Association of Western Australia is your state autism association. It can provide information about how to get a diagnosis in Western Australia. Contact:37 Hay StreetSubiaco WA 6008Ph: (08) 9489 8900Email: autismwa@autism.org.auGP or child health nurseUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs and child health clinics in your local area.Child specialistPaediatrician or child psychologistYour GP or should be able to refer you to a paediatrician or child psychologist who has experience in assessing and diagnosing autism spectrum disorders (ASD) in children. If you have trouble finding a child specialist with ASD experience, Autism Association of Western Australia might be able to help.PsychologistUse the Australian Psychological Society's find a psychologist tool to get contact details for psychologists who have registered as having expertise in working with children and ASD. View the Autism Awareness WA directory for details of psychologists in your area.Diagnostic assessmentYour GP, nurse or child specialist should be able to direct you to practitioners in your area who do diagnostic assessments. For assessments carried out on a public basis, your local area health service is a good place to start. Your state autism association can also provide useful information about where and how a child can be assessed for the purpose of getting a diagnosis.Government-funded servicesSome services are funded by the government to provide diagnostic assessments which you won't have to pay for. Contact these services below for more information.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting an ASD diagnosis in QueenslandASD diagnosis: QueenslandAutism Queensland is your state autism association. It can provide information about how to get a diagnosis in Queensland. Contact:437 Hellawell RoadSunnybank Hills Qld 4109PO Box 354, Sunnybank Hills, Qld, 4109Phone: (07) 3273 0000Email: admin@autismqld.com.auContact Autism QueenslandGP or child health nurseUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs and child health clinics in your local area.Child specialistPaediatrician or child psychiatristYour GP should be able to refer you to a paediatrician or child psychiatrist who has experience in assessing and diagnosing autism spectrum disorder (ASD) in children. If you have trouble finding a child specialist with ASD experience, Autism Queensland might be able to help.PsychologistUse the Australian Psychological Society’s find a psychologist tool to get contact details for psychologists who have registered as having expertise in working with children and ASD.View the Autism Awareness Queensland directory for details of psychologists in your area.Diagnostic assessmentYour GP, nurse or child specialist should be able to direct you to practitioners in your area who do diagnostic assessments. For assessments carried out on a public basis, your local area health service is a good place to start. Your state autism association can also provide useful information about where and how a child can be assessed for the purpose of getting a diagnosis.Government-funded servicesSome services are funded by the government to provide diagnostic assessments which you won’t have to pay for. Contact these services below for more information.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting an ASD diagnosis in VictoriaASD: autism diagnosis services in VictoriaASD diagnosis: VictoriaAmaze is your state autism association. It can provide information about how to get a diagnosis in Victoria. Contact:24 Drummond Street Carlton Vic 3053 PO Box 374, Carlton South Vic 3053 Phone: (03) 9657 1600 Info line: 1300 308 699 Autism Advisors: 1300 424 499 Adviceline for professionals: 1300 598 272 Email: reception@amaze.org.au Fax: (03) 9639 4955Contact AmazeGP or child health nurseUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs and child health clinics in your local area.Child specialistPaediatrician or child psychiatrist Your GP should be able to refer you to a paediatrician or child psychiatrist who has experience in assessing and diagnosing autism spectrum disorder (ASD) in children. If you have trouble finding a child specialist with ASD experience, Autism Victoria might be able to help.Psychologist Use the Australian Psychological Society's find a psychologist tool to get contact details for psychologists who have registered as having expertise working with children and ASD.View the Autism Awareness Victoria directory for details of psychologists in your area.Diagnostic assessmentYour GP, nurse or child specialist should be able to direct you to practitioners in your area who do diagnostic assessments. For assessments carried out on a public basis, your local area health service is a good place to start. Your state autism association can also provide useful information about where and how a child can be assessed for the purpose of getting a diagnosis.Government-funded servicesSome services are funded by the government to provide diagnostic assessments which you won't have to pay for. Contact these services below for more information.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting an ASD diagnosis in the ACTASD diagnosis: ACTAutism Asperger ACT is your state autism association. It can provide information about how to get a diagnosis in the Australian Capital Territory. Contact:Community Health and Wellbeing Centre                                            91 Eggleston Crescent, cnr of MacLaurin CrescentChifley ACT 2606(PO Box 717, Mawson, ACT 2607)Phone: Administration - 02 6176 0514        Email:  info@autismaspergeract.com.auAdvisory service - 02 6176 0515      Email: advisor@autismaspergeract.com.auContact Autism Asperger ACTGP or child health nurseUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs and child health clinics in your local area.Child specialistPaediatrician or child psychiatristYour GP should be able to refer you to a paediatrician or child psychiatrist who has experience in assessing and diagnosing autism spectrum disorder (ASD) in children. If you have trouble finding a child specialist with ASD experience, Autism Asperger ACT might be able to help.PsychologistUse the Australian Psychological Society’s find a psychologist tool to get contact details for psychologists who have registered as having expertise in working with children and ASD.View the Autism Awareness ACT directory for details of psychologists in your area.Diagnostic assessmentYour GP, nurse or child specialist should be able to direct you to practitioners in your area who do diagnostic assessments. For assessments carried out on a public basis, your local area health service is a good place to start. Your state autism association can also provide useful information about where and how a child can be assessed for the purpose of getting a diagnosis.Government-funded servicesSome services are funded by the government to provide diagnostic assessments which you won’t have to pay for. Contact these services below for more information.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightFinding out for sure: getting a diagnosisGetting a diagnosisread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know120101RightGetting an ASD diagnosis in TasmaniaASD diagnosis: TasmaniaAutism Tasmania is your state autism association. It can provide information about how to get a diagnosis in Tasmania. Contact:PO Box 313 South Hobart 7004 Phone: 03 6423 2288 Info line: 1300 288 476 Email: autism@autismtas.org.auContact Autism TasmaniaGP or child health nurseUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs and child health clinics in your local area.Child specialistPaediatrician or child psychiatristYour GP should be able to refer you to a paediatrician or child psychiatrist who has experience in assessing and diagnosing autism spectrum disorder (ASD) in children. If you have trouble finding a child specialist with ASD experience, Autism Tasmania might be able to help.PsychologistUse the Australian Psychological Society’s find a psychologist tool to get contact details for psychologists who have registered as having expertise in working with children and ASD.View the Autism Awareness Tasmania directory for details of psychologists in your area.Diagnostic assessmentYour GP, nurse or child specialist should be able to direct you to practitioners in your area who do diagnostic assessments. For assessments carried out on a public basis, your local area health service is a good place to start. Your state autism association can also provide useful information about where and how a child can be assessed for the purpose of getting a diagnosis.Government-funded servicesSome services are funded by the government to provide diagnostic assessments which you won’t have to pay for. Contact these services below for more information.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting an ASD diagnosis in NTASD diagnosis: NTAutism NT is your state autism association. It can provide information about how to get a diagnosis in the Northern Territory. Contact:Shop 19, Nightcliff Shopping Centre Dick Ward Drive Coconut Grove NT 0810 Phone: 08 8948 4424 Email: autismnt@autismnt.org.auContact Autism NTGP or child health nurseUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs and child health clinics in your local area.Child specialistPaediatrician or child psychiatristYour GP should be able to refer you to a paediatrician or child specialist who has experience in assessing and diagnosing autism spectrum disorder (ASD) in children. If you have trouble finding a child specialist with ASD experience, Autism NT might be able to help.PsychologistUse the Australian Psychological Society’s find a psychologist tool to get contact details for psychologists who have registered as having expertise in working with children and ASD.View the Autism Awareness NT directory for details of psychologists in your area.Diagnostic assessmentYour GP, nurse or child specialist should be able to direct you to practitioners in your area who do diagnostic assessments. For assessments carried out on a public basis, your local area health service is a good place to start. Your state autism association can also provide useful information about where and how a child can be assessed for the purpose of getting a diagnosis.Government-funded servicesSome services are funded by the government to provide diagnostic assessments which you won’t have to pay for. Contact these services below for more information.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting an ASD diagnosis in SAASD diagnosis: SAAutism SA is your state autism association. It can provide information about how to get a diagnosis in South Australia. Contact:262 Marion Road,Netley SA 5037PO Box 304, Marleston DC SA 5034Phone: (08) 8379 6976Info line: 1300 288 476Email: admin@autismsa.org.auContact Autism SAGP or child health nurseUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs and child health clinics in your local area.Child specialistPaediatrician or child psychiatristYour GP should be able to refer you to a paediatrician or child psychologist who has experience in assessing and diagnosing autism spectrum disorder (ASD) in children. If you have trouble finding a child specialist with ASD experience, Autism SA might be able to help.PsychologistUse the Australian Psychological Society’s find a psychologist tool to get contact details for psychologists who have registered as having expertise in working with children and ASD.View the Autism Awareness SA directory for details of psychologists in your area.Diagnostic assessmentYour GP, nurse or child specialist should be able to direct you to practitioners in your area who do diagnostic assessments. For assessments carried out on a public basis, your local area health service is a good place to start. Your state autism association can also provide useful information about where and how a child can be assessed for the purpose of getting a diagnosis.Government-funded servicesSome services are funded by the government to provide diagnostic assessments which you won’t have to pay for. Contact these services below for more information.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightStarting intervention in NSWStarting intervention: NSWAutism Spectrum Australia (Aspect) is your state autism association. It can provide information about things to do while you’re waiting for a diagnosis in New South Wales. Contact:Building 1, Level 2 14 Aquatic Drive Frenchs Forest NSW 2086 Phone: (02) 8977 8300 Info line: (02) 8977 8377 Email: infoline@autismspectrum.org.auContact Autism Spectrum AustraliaStart generic early interventionThe Early Childhood Intervention Infoline has contact details and further information about early intervention services available in your area. Telephone the Infoline on 1300 656 865 for the cost of a local call, from anywhere in NSW.Use the Autism Services Pathfinder for information on finding early intervention providers in your area.Start or continue with speech and language therapyGo to Speech Pathology Australia's find a speech pathologist page to get contact details for speech pathologists in public and private practice.View the Autism Awareness NSW directory for details of speech pathologists in your area.Look into occupational therapyGo to the Australian Association of Occupational Therapists’ find an OT page to get contact details for occupational therapists throughout Australia.View the Autism Awareness NSW directory for details of occupational therapists (OTs) in your area.Look after yourselfUse the Autism Services Pathfinder for information on family support. You’ll find tips on looking after yourself, your relationships and your other children.Register to attend an Early Days workshopFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Find out more about autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and early interventionRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview. read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightWhile you're waiting: starting interventionStarting interventionread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know120101RightGetting help and support in WAHelp & support: WAThe Autism Association of Western Australia (Inc) is your state autism association. It can provide information about help and support in Western Australia. Contact:37 Hay Street Subiaco WA 6008 Ph:  (08) 9489 8900  Email: autismwa@autism.org.auEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Support for youRespite The Commonwealth Carelink Centre Program provides information for carers. The Carelink Services Directory will help you find Carelink Centres and related services in your area. Alternatively, phone 1800 052 222 to talk to your nearest Commonwealth Carelink Centre.Stress, anxiety and depression: GP support Use My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area.ASD family support groups and forums Contact your state autism association and local autism advisor for details of support groups in your area.Online support groups and forums can also be a convenient way to meet others and share ideas and support. Visit:the Raising Children forum for parents of children with ASDAutism Spectrum Australia forums. Family and Community Services The Home and Community Care Program (HACC) provides community care services to people with disabilities and their carers. Your local GP or municipal council might be able to help with information about this and other programs in your area.Diability Support Organisations                                                                                                           The Disability Services Commission provides Local Area Coordination support throughout all regional areas of WA. Local Area Coordinators (LAC's) support people with disabilities by helping them access services which enhance their participation and contribution to their local community. To find an LAC in your area, please phone the Disability Services Commission on 9426 9200.PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.HelplinesParentline is a free, 24-hour, confidential telephone counselling service that provides professional counselling and support for parents and carers: (08) 6279 1200 1800 654 432 (freecall for STD callers) (08) 9271 3252  (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired).Lifeline provides 24-hour telephone counselling: 13 11 14.Your relationship with your partnerRelationships Australia is a national organisation that provides relationship support services such as counselling, dispute resolution and relationship skills seminars. Your other childrenSiblings Australia is a national organisation that offers a range of services for siblings of children with special needs. These services include workshops, print and web resources, and networking opportunities for families across Australia.Finding out more about autismRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightYou and your family: help and supportHelp and supportread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know120101RightFinding early intervention in VictoriaASD: finding early intervention in VictoriaEarly intervention: VictoriaAmaze – Autism Victoria is your state autism association. It can provide information about autism advisors in Victoria. Contact: 24 Drummond Street Carlton VIC 3053 (PO Box 235, Ashburton VIC 3147) Phone: (03) 9657 1600 Info line: 1300 308 699 Email: reception@amaze.org.auEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Early intervention optionsVisit the Amaze – Autism Victoria website to find out more about early intervention in Victoria.Visit the Autism Awareness website to view the Victorian early intervention directory.Visit the FaHCSIA website to view a list of the early intervention panel providers in Victoria.Read the Victorian Department of Education and Early Childhood Development’s overview of early childhood intervention services.Visit the Victorian Chapter of Early Childhood Intervention Australia, or call (03) 9509 5584 for more information about early intervention in Victoria.Allied health (therapy) providersGo to Speech Pathology Australia’s find a speech pathologist page to get contact details for speech pathologists in public and private practice.Go to the Australian Association of Occupational Therapists' find an OT page to get contact details for occupational therapists throughout Australia.Use the Australian Psychological Society’s find a psychologist tool to get contact details for psychologists who have registered as having expertise in working with children and ASD.Learn more about autism spectrum disorders (ASD)Read our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightHelping your child: finding early interventionFinding early interventionread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know120101RightAccessing financial support in South AustraliaFinancial support: SAAutism SA is your state autism association. It can provide contacts for autism advisors in South Australia:262 Marion RoadNetley SA 5037PO Box 304, Marleston DC SA 5033Phone: (08) 8379 6976Info line: 1300 288 476Email: admin@autismsa.org.auVisit the FaHCSIA website to view a list of the approved early intervention provider panel members in South Australia.Centrelink assistanceUse My Neighbourhood to locate a Centrelink office near you.View the Centrelink contact page.Centrelink assistance by serviceService and paymentContact informationCarer Allowance132 717Carer Payment132 717Health Care Cards136 150Commonwealth Carelink Centres1800 052 222Read more about government parenting payments.Medicare fundingUse My Neighbourhood to locate a Medicare office near you.View the Medicare contact page.Medicare service or paymentService and paymentContact informationMedicare benefits for early intervention treatmentsSearch the Medicare Benefits Schedule by item number for psychology, speech pathology and occupational therapy.Medicare Australia Patient Enquiry Line: 132 011 Department of Health and Ageing: (02) 6289 4297Medicare Safety NetPhone: 132 011 TTY: 1800 552 152 (hearing and speech impaired) TIS: 131 450 (Translating and Interpreting Service) Email: medicare@medicareaustralia.gov.auMedical expenses tax rebate Phone: 132 011 TTY: 1800 552 152 (hearing and speech impaired) TIS: 131 450 (Translating and Interpreting Service) Email: medicare@medicareaustralia.gov.auEnhanced Primary Care (EPC) Medicare rebatesUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area. If your GP is not familiar with writing EPC plans, she can contact Medicare for more information.GP Mental Health Care PlanUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area. If your GP is not familiar with writing EPC plans, she can contact Medicare for more information.State disability department funding supportDisability SA provides a range of services to children with ASD and their families or carers.103 Fisher Street Fullarton SA 5063 Phone: 8272 1988 Fax: 8272 3561 Email: disabilitysa@dfc.sa.gov.au read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGovernment funding and financial supportFunding and financial supportread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know120101RightStarting intervention in WAStarting intervention: WAAutism Association of Western Australia is your state autism association. It can provide information about things to do while you’re waiting for a diagnosis in Western Australia. Contact:37 Hay StreetSubiaco WA 6008Phone: (08) 9489 8900Email: autismwa@autism.org.auThe Autism Awareness website also has WA contact details and information that you might find helpful.Start some generic early interventionUse the Autism Services Pathfinder for information on finding early intervention providers in your area.Start or continue with speech and language therapyGo to Speech Pathology Australia's find a speech pathologist page to get contact details for speech pathologists in publich and private practice.View the Autism Awareness WA directory for details of speech pathologists in your area.Look into occupational therapyGo to the Australian Association of Occupational Therapists’ find an OT page to get contact details for occupational therapists throughout Australia.View the Autism Awareness WA directory for details of occupational therapists (OTs) in your area.Look after yourselfUse the Autism Services Pathfinder for information on family support. You’ll find tips on looking after yourself, your relationships and your other children.Register to attend an Early Days workshopFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Find out more about autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and early interventionRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview. read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightStarting intervention in QueenslandStarting intervention: QldAutism Queensland is your state autism association. It can provide information about things to do while you’re waiting for a diagnosis in Queensland. Contact: 437 Hellawell Road Sunnybank Hills Qld 4109 (PO Box 354, Sunnybank Hills, Qld, 4109) Phone: (07) 3273 0000 Email: admin@autismqld.com.au Contact Autism QueenslandThe Autism Awareness website also has Queensland contact details and information that you might find helpful.Start some generic early interventionUse the Autism Services Pathfinder for information on finding early intervention providers in your area.Start or continue with speech and language therapyGo to Speech Pathology Australia's find a speech pathologist page to get contact details for speech pathologists in publich and private practice.View the Autism Awareness Queensland directory for details of speech pathologists in your area.Look into occupational therapyGo to the Australian Association of Occupational Therapists’ find an OT page to get contact details for occupational therapists throughout Australia.View the Autism Awareness Queensland directory for details of occupational therapists (OTs) in your area.Look after yourselfUse the Autism Services Pathfinder for information on family support. You’ll find tips on looking after yourself, your relationships and your other children.Register to attend an Early Days workshopFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Find out more about autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and early interventionRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview. read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightStarting intervention in VictoriaASD autism intervention services: VictoriaStarting intervention: VicAmaze is your state autism association. It can provide information about things to do while you’re waiting for a diagnosis in Victoria. Contact: 24 Drummond Street Carlton Vic 3053 (PO Box 235, Ashburton Vic 3147) Phone: (03) 9657 1600 Info line: 1300 308 699 Email: reception@amaze.org.auContact AmazeThe Autism Awareness website also has Victorian contact details and information that you might find helpful.Start some generic early interventionUse the Autism Services Pathfinder for information on finding early intervention providers in your area.Start or continue with speech and language therapyGo to Speech Pathology Australia's find a speech pathologist page to get contact details for speech pathologists in publich and private practice.View the Autism Awareness Victoria directory for details of speech pathologists in your area.Look into occupational therapyGo to the Australian Association of Occupational Therapists’ find an OT page to get contact details for occupational therapists throughout Australia.View the Autism Awareness Victoria directory for details of occupational therapists (OTs) in your area.Look after yourselfUse the Autism Services Pathfinder for information on family support. You’ll find tips on looking after yourself, your relationships and your other children.Register to attend an Early Days workshopFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Find out more about autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and early interventionRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightStarting intervention in the ACTStarting intervention: ACTAutism Asperger ACT is your state autism association. It can provide information about things to do while you’re waiting for a diagnosis in Australian Capital Territory. Contact: Autism Asperger ACTC/- Self Help Organisations United Together (SHOUT)Bldg 1, Pearce CentreCollette Place Pearce ACT 2067 (PO Box 717, Mawson ACT 2607)Ph: (02) 6290 1984Email: autism1@optusnet.com.au Contact Autism Asperger ACTThe Autism Awareness website also has ACT contact details and information that you might find helpful.Start some generic early interventionUse the Autism Services Pathfinder for information on finding early intervention providers in your area.Start or continue with speech and language therapyGo to Speech Pathology Australia's find a speech pathologist page to get contact details for speech pathologists in publich and private practice.View the Autism Awareness ACT directory for details of speech pathologists in your area.Look into occupational therapyGo to the Australian Association of Occupational Therapists’ find an OT page to get contact details for occupational therapists throughout Australia.View the Autism Awareness ACT directory for details of occupational therapists (OTs) in your area.Look after yourselfUse the Autism Services Pathfinder for information on family support. You’ll find tips on looking after yourself, your relationships and your other children.Register to attend an Early Days workshopFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Find out more about autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and early interventionRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightStarting intervention in TasmaniaStarting intervention: TasmaniaAutism Tasmania is your state autism association. It can provide information about things to do while you’re waiting for a diagnosis in Tasmania. Contact: PO Box 313South Hobart 7004Phone: (03) 6423 2288Info line: 1300 288 476Email: autismtas@autismtas.org.au Contact Autism TasmaniaThe Autism Awareness website also has Tasmania contact details and information that you might find helpful.Start some generic early interventionUse the Autism Services Pathfinder for information on finding early intervention providers in your area.Start or continue with speech and language therapyGo to Speech Pathology Australia's find a speech pathologist page to get contact details for speech pathologists in publich and private practice.View the Autism Awareness Tasmania directory for details of speech pathologists in your area.Look into occupational therapyGo to the Australian Association of Occupational Therapists’ find an OT page to get contact details for occupational therapists throughout Australia.View the Autism Awareness Tasmania directory for details of occupational therapists (OTs) in your area.Look after yourselfUse the Autism Services Pathfinder for information on family support. You’ll find tips on looking after yourself, your relationships and your other children.Register to attend an Early Days workshopFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Find out more about autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and early interventionRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightStarting intervention in NTStarting intervention: NTAutism NT is your state autism association. It can provide information about things to do while you’re waiting for a diagnosis in Northern Territory. Contact: Shop 19, Nightcliff Shopping Centre Dick Ward Drive Coconut Grove NT 0810Phone: (08) 8948 4424Email: info@autismnt.com.au Contact Autism NTThe Autism Awareness website also has Northern Territory contact details and information that you might find helpful.Start some generic early interventionUse the Autism Services Pathfinder for information on finding early intervention providers in your area.Start or continue with speech and language therapyGo to Speech Pathology Australia's find a speech pathologist page to get contact details for speech pathologists in publich and private practice.View the Autism Awareness Northern Territory directory for details of speech pathologists in your area.Look into occupational therapyGo to the Australian Association of Occupational Therapists’ find an OT page to get contact details for occupational therapists throughout Australia.View the Autism Awareness Northern Territory directory for details of occupational therapists (OTs) in your area.Look after yourselfUse the Autism Services Pathfinder for information on family support. You’ll find tips on looking after yourself, your relationships and your other children.Register to attend an Early Days workshopFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Find out more about autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and early interventionRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightStarting intervention in SAStarting intervention: SAAutism SA is your state autism association. It can provide information about things to do while you’re waiting for a diagnosis in Southern Australia. Contact: 262 Marion Road, Netley SA 5037(PO Box 304, Marleston DC SA 5033)Phone: (08) 8379 6976Info line: 1300 288 476Email: admin@autismsa.org.auContact Autism SAThe Autism Awareness website also has South Australia contact details and information that you might find helpful. Start some generic early interventionUse the Autism Services Pathfinder for information on finding early intervention providers in your area.Start or continue with speech and language therapyGo to Speech Pathology Australia's find a speech pathologist page to get contact details for speech pathologists in public and private practice.View the Autism Awareness South Australia directory for details of speech pathologists in your area.Look into occupational therapyGo to the Australian Association of Occupational Therapists’ find an OT page to get contact details for occupational therapists throughout Australia.View the Autism Awareness South Australia directory for details of occupational therapists (OTs) in your area.Look after yourselfUse the Autism Services Pathfinder for information on family support. You’ll find tips on looking after yourself, your relationships and your other children.Register to attend an Early Days workshopFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Find out more about autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and early interventionRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightAccessing financial support in NSWFinancial support: NSWAutism Spectrum Australia (Aspect) is your state autism association. It can provide contacts for autism advisors in New South Wales:Building 1, Level 214 Aquatic DriveFrenchs Forest NSW 2086Phone: (02) 8977 8300Info line: (02) 8977 8377Email: infoline@autismspectrum.org.au Visit the FaHCSIA website to view a list of the approved early intervention provider panel members in New South Wales.Centrelink assistanceUse My Neighbourhood to locate a Centrelink office near you.View the Centrelink contact page.Centrelink assistance by serviceService and paymentContact informationCarer Allowance132 717Carer Payment132 717Health Care Cards136 150Commonwealth Carelink Centres1800 052 222Read more about government parenting payments.Medicare fundingUse My Neighbourhood to locate a Medicare office near you.View the Medicare contact page.Medicare service or paymentService and paymentContact informationMedicare benefits for early intervention treatmentsSearch the Medicare Benefits Schedule by item number for psychology, speech pathology and occupational therapy.Medicare Australia Patient Enquiry Line: 132 011 Department of Health and Ageing: (02) 6289 4297Medicare Safety NetPhone: 132 011 TTY: 1800 552 152 (hearing and speech impaired) TIS: 131 450 (Translating and Interpreting Service) Email: medicare@medicareaustralia.gov.auMedical expenses tax rebate Phone: 132 011 TTY: 1800 552 152 (hearing and speech impaired) TIS: 131 450 (Translating and Interpreting Service) Email: medicare@medicareaustralia.gov.auEnhanced Primary Care (EPC) Medicare rebatesUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area. If your GP is not familiar with writing EPC plans, she can contact Medicare for more information.GP Mental Health Care PlanUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area. If your GP is not familiar with writing EPC plans, she can contact Medicare for more information.State disability department funding supportDepartment of Ageing, Disability and Home Care provides a range of services to children with ASD and their families or carers.Level 5, 83 Clarence StreetSydney, NSW 2000Phone: (02) 8270 2000Email: info@dadhc.nsw.gov.auread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightAccessing financial support in VictoriaASD and autism financial support: VictoriaFinancial support: VicAmaze – Autism Victoria is your state autism association. It can provide contacts for autism advisors in Victoria.24 Drummond Street Carlton Vic 3053 PO Box 235, Ashburton Vic 3147 Phone: (03) 9657 1600 Info line: 1300 308 699 Email: reception@amaze.org.auVisit the FaHCSIA website to view a list of the approved early intervention provider panel members in Victoria.Centrelink assistanceUse My Neighbourhood to locate a Centrelink office near you.View the Centrelink contact page.Centrelink assistance by serviceService and paymentContact informationCarer Allowance132 717Carer Payment132 717Health Care Cards136 150Commonwealth Carelink Centres1800 052 222Read more about government parenting payments.Medicare fundingUse My Neighbourhood to locate a Medicare office near you.View the Medicare contact page.Medicare service or paymentService and paymentContact informationMedicare benefits for early intervention treatmentsSearch the Medicare Benefits Schedule by item number for psychology, speech pathology and occupational therapy.Medicare Australia Patient Enquiry Line: 132 011 Department of Health and Ageing: (02) 6289 4297Medicare Safety NetPhone: 132 011 TTY: 1800 552 152 (hearing and speech impaired) TIS: 131 450 (Translating and Interpreting Service) Email: medicare@medicareaustralia.gov.auMedical expenses tax rebate Phone: 132 011 TTY: 1800 552 152 (hearing and speech impaired) TIS: 131 450 (Translating and Interpreting Service) Email: medicare@medicareaustralia.gov.auEnhanced Primary Care (EPC) Medicare rebatesUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area. If your GP is not familiar with writing EPC plans, she can contact Medicare for more information.GP Mental Health Care PlanUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area. If your GP is not familiar with writing EPC plans, she can contact Medicare for more information.State disability department funding supportDisability Services provides a range of services to children with ASD and their families or carers.Level 8, 50 Lonsdale Street Melbourne VIC 3000 Phone: 1300 650 172 Email: disability.services@dhs.vic.gov.auread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightAccessing financial support in WAFinancial support: WAAutism Association of Western Australia is your state autism association. It can provide contacts for autism advisors in Western Australia:37 Hay Street Subiaco WA 6008 Ph: (08) 9489 8900 Email: autismwa@autism.org.auVisit the FaHCSIA website to view a list of the approved early intervention provider panel members in Western Australia.State disability department funding supportThe WA government Disability Services Commission provides a range of services to children with ASD and their families or carers.146-160 Colin Street West Perth WA 6005 Phone: (08) 9426 9200 Email: dsc@dsc.wa.gov.auCentrelink assistanceUse My Neighbourhood to locate a Centrelink office near you.View the Centrelink contact page.Centrelink assistance by serviceService and paymentContact informationCarer Allowance132 717Carer Payment132 717Health Care Cards136 150Commonwealth Carelink Centres1800 052 222Read more about government parenting payments.Medicare fundingUse My Neighbourhood to locate a Medicare office near you.View the Medicare contact page.Medicare service or paymentService and paymentContact informationMedicare benefits for early intervention treatmentsSearch the Medicare Benefits Schedule by item number for psychology, speech pathology and occupational therapy.Medicare Australia Patient Enquiry Line: 132 011 Department of Health and Ageing: (02) 6289 4297Medicare Safety NetPhone: 132 011 TTY: 1800 552 152 (hearing and speech impaired) TIS: 131 450 (Translating and Interpreting Service) Email: medicare@medicareaustralia.gov.auMedical expenses tax rebate Phone: 132 011 TTY: 1800 552 152 (hearing and speech impaired) TIS: 131 450 (Translating and Interpreting Service) Email: medicare@medicareaustralia.gov.auEnhanced Primary Care (EPC) Medicare rebatesUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area. If your GP is not familiar with writing EPC plans, she can contact Medicare for more information.GP Mental Health Care PlanUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area. If your GP is not familiar with writing EPC plans, she can contact Medicare for more information.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightAccessing financial support in QueenslandFinancial support: QldAutism Queensland is your state autism association. It can provide contacts for autism advisors in Queensland:437 Hellawell Road Sunnybank Hills Qld 4109 PO Box 354, Sunnybank Hills, Qld, 4109 Phone: (07) 3273 0000 Email: admin@autismqld.com.auVisit the FaHCSIA website to view a list of the approved early intervention provider panel members in Queensland.Centrelink assistanceUse My Neighbourhood to locate a Centrelink office near you.View the Centrelink contact page.Centrelink assistance by serviceService and paymentContact informationCarer Allowance132 717Carer Payment132 717Health Care Cards136 150Commonwealth Carelink Centres1800 052 222Read more about government parenting payments.Medicare fundingUse My Neighbourhood to locate a Medicare office near you.View the Medicare contact page.Medicare service or paymentService and paymentContact informationMedicare benefits for early intervention treatmentsSearch the Medicare Benefits Schedule by item number for psychology, speech pathology and occupational therapy.Medicare Australia Patient Enquiry Line: 132 011 Department of Health and Ageing: (02) 6289 4297Medicare Safety NetPhone: 132 011 TTY: 1800 552 152 (hearing and speech impaired) TIS: 131 450 (Translating and Interpreting Service) Email: medicare@medicareaustralia.gov.auMedical expenses tax rebate Phone: 132 011 TTY: 1800 552 152 (hearing and speech impaired) TIS: 131 450 (Translating and Interpreting Service) Email: medicare@medicareaustralia.gov.auEnhanced Primary Care (EPC) Medicare rebatesUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area. If your GP is not familiar with writing EPC plans, she can contact Medicare for more information.GP Mental Health Care PlanUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area. If your GP is not familiar with writing EPC plans, she can contact Medicare for more information.State disability department funding supportDisability Services Queensland provides a range of services to children with ASD and their families or carers.27 Peel Street, Level 1South Brisbane WLD 4101Phone: 1800 177 120Email: disabilityinfo@disability.qld.gov.auread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightAccessing financial support in the ACTFinancial support: ACTAutism Asperger ACT is your state autism association. It can provide contacts for autism advisors in the Australian Capital Territory:c/- Self Help Organisations United Together (SHOUT) Bldg 1, Pearce Centre Collette Place Pearce ACT 2067 (PO Box 717, Mawson ACT 2607) Email: autism1@optusnet.com.au Phone: 02 6290 1984Visit the FaHCSIA website to view a list of the approved early intervention provider panel members in the Australian Capital Territory.Centrelink assistanceUse My Neighbourhood to locate a Centrelink office near you.View the Centrelink contact page.Centrelink assistance by serviceService and paymentContact informationCarer Allowance132 717Carer Payment132 717Health Care Cards136 150Commonwealth Carelink Centres1800 052 222Read more about government parenting payments.Medicare fundingUse My Neighbourhood to locate a Medicare office near you.View the Medicare contact page.Medicare service or paymentService and paymentContact informationMedicare benefits for early intervention treatmentsSearch the Medicare Benefits Schedule by item number for psychology, speech pathology and occupational therapy.Medicare Australia Patient Enquiry Line: 132 011 Department of Health and Ageing: (02) 6289 4297Medicare Safety NetPhone: 132 011 TTY: 1800 552 152 (hearing and speech impaired) TIS: 131 450 (Translating and Interpreting Service) Email: medicare@medicareaustralia.gov.auMedical expenses tax rebate Phone: 132 011 TTY: 1800 552 152 (hearing and speech impaired) TIS: 131 450 (Translating and Interpreting Service) Email: medicare@medicareaustralia.gov.auEnhanced Primary Care (EPC) Medicare rebatesUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area. If your GP is not familiar with writing EPC plans, she can contact Medicare for more information.GP Mental Health Care PlanUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area. If your GP is not familiar with writing EPC plans, she can contact Medicare for more information.Territory disability department funding supportDisability ACT provides a range of services to children with ASD and their families or carers.Nature Conservation House 153 Emu Bank Belconnen ACT 2617 Phone: 133 427 Email: DisabilityACT@act.gov.auread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightAccessing financial support in TasmaniaFinancial support: TasmaniaAutism Tasmania is your state autism association. It can provide information about how to get a diagnosis in Tasmania:PO Box 313 South Hobart 7004 Phone: (03) 6423 2288 Info line: 1300 288 476 Email: autismtas@autismtas.org.auVisit the FaHCSIA website to view a list of the approved early intervention provider panel members in Tasmania.Centrelink assistanceUse My Neighbourhood to locate a Centrelink office near you.View the Centrelink contact page.Centrelink assistance by serviceService and paymentContact informationCarer Allowance132 717Carer Payment132 717Health Care Cards136 150Commonwealth Carelink Centres1800 052 222Read more about government parenting payments.Medicare fundingUse My Neighbourhood to locate a Medicare office near you.View the Medicare contact page.Medicare service or paymentService and paymentContact informationMedicare benefits for early intervention treatmentsSearch the Medicare Benefits Schedule by item number for psychology, speech pathology and occupational therapy.Medicare Australia Patient Enquiry Line: 132 011 Department of Health and Ageing: (02) 6289 4297Medicare Safety NetPhone: 132 011 TTY: 1800 552 152 (hearing and speech impaired) TIS: 131 450 (Translating and Interpreting Service) Email: medicare@medicareaustralia.gov.auMedical expenses tax rebate Phone: 132 011 TTY: 1800 552 152 (hearing and speech impaired) TIS: 131 450 (Translating and Interpreting Service) Email: medicare@medicareaustralia.gov.auEnhanced Primary Care (EPC) Medicare rebatesUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area. If your GP is not familiar with writing EPC plans, she can contact Medicare for more information.GP Mental Health Care PlanUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area. If your GP is not familiar with writing EPC plans, she can contact Medicare for more information.State disability department funding supportAged and Disability Care Information Service provides a range of services to children with ASD and their families or carers.1 St John’s AvenueNew Town Tas 7008Phone: (03) 6228 5799Email: directory@adcis.org.auread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightAccessing financial support in NTFinancial support: NTAutism NT is your state autism association. It can provide contacts for autism advisors in the Northern Territory:Shop 19, Nightcliff Shopping Centre Dick Ward Drive Coconut Grove NT 0810 Phone: (08) 8948 4424 Email: info@autismnt.com.auVisit the FaHCSIA website to view a list of the approved early intervention provider panel members in the Northern Territory.Centrelink assistanceUse My Neighbourhood to locate a Centrelink office near you.View the Centrelink contact page.Centrelink assistance by serviceService and paymentContact informationCarer Allowance132 717Carer Payment132 717Health Care Cards136 150Commonwealth Carelink Centres1800 052 222Read more about government parenting payments.Medicare fundingUse My Neighbourhood to locate a Medicare office near you.View the Medicare contact page.Medicare service or paymentService and paymentContact informationMedicare benefits for early intervention treatmentsSearch the Medicare Benefits Schedule by item number for psychology, speech pathology and occupational therapy.Medicare Australia Patient Enquiry Line: 132 011 Department of Health and Ageing: (02) 6289 4297Medicare Safety NetPhone: 132 011 TTY: 1800 552 152 (hearing and speech impaired) TIS: 131 450 (Translating and Interpreting Service) Email: medicare@medicareaustralia.gov.auMedical expenses tax rebate Phone: 132 011 TTY: 1800 552 152 (hearing and speech impaired) TIS: 131 450 (Translating and Interpreting Service) Email: medicare@medicareaustralia.gov.auEnhanced Primary Care (EPC) Medicare rebatesUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area. If your GP is not familiar with writing EPC plans, she can contact Medicare for more information.GP Mental Health Care PlanUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area. If your GP is not familiar with writing EPC plans, she can contact Medicare for more information.Territory disability department funding supportAged and Disability Services provides a range of services to children with ASD and their families or carers.87 Mitchell StreetDarwin NT 0800Phone: 1800 139 656Email: disability.dhcs@nt.gov.auread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting help and support in NSWHelp & support: NSWAutism Spectrum Australia (Aspect) is your state autism association. It can provide information about help and support in New South Wales. Contact:Building 1, Level 214 Aquatic DriveFrenchs Forest NSW 2086Phone: (02) 8977 8300 Info line: (02) 8977 8377 Email: infoline@autismspectrum.org.auContact Autism Spectrum Australia Early Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Support for youRespite The Commonwealth Carelink Centre Program provides information for carers. The Carelink Services Directory will help you find Carelink Centres and related services in your area. Alternatively, phone 1800 052 222 to talk to your nearest Commonwealth Carelink Centre.Stress, anxiety and depression: GP support Use My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area.ASD family support groups and forums Contact your state autism association and local autism advisor for details of support groups in your area.Online support groups and forums can also be a convenient way to meet others and share ideas and support. Visit:the Raising Children forum for parents of children with ASDAutism Spectrum Australia forums. Family and Community Services The Home and Community Care Program (HACC) provides community care services to people with disabilities and their carers. Your local GP or municipal council might be able to help with information about this and other programs in your area.PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.HelplinesParentline is a free, 24-hour, confidential telephone counselling service that provides professional counselling and support for parents and carers: 13 20 55.Lifeline provides 24-hour telephone counselling: 13 11 14.Your relationship with your partnerRelationships Australia is a national organisation that provides relationship support services such as counselling, dispute resolution and relationship skills seminars. Your other childrenSiblings Australia is a national organisation that offers a range of services for siblings of children with special needs. These services include workshops, print and web resources, and networking opportunities for families across Australia.Finding out more about autismRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview.  read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting help and support in QueenslandHelp & support: QldAutism Queensland is your state autism association. It can provide information about help and support in Queensland. Contact:437 Hellawell RoadSunnybank Hills QLD 4109(PO Box 354, Sunnybank Hills QLD 4109)Phone: (07) 3273 0000Email: admin@autismqld.com.au Contact Autism QueenslandEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Support for youRespite The Commonwealth Carelink Centre Program provides information for carers. The Carelink Services Directory will help you find Carelink Centres and related services in your area. Alternatively, phone 1800 052 222 to talk to your nearest Commonwealth Carelink Centre.Stress, anxiety and depression: GP support Use My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area.ASD family support groups and forums Contact your state autism association and local autism advisor for details of support groups in your area.Online support groups and forums can also be a convenient way to meet others and share ideas and support. Visit:the Raising Children forum for parents of children with ASDAutism Spectrum Australia forums. Family and Community Services The Home and Community Care Program (HACC) provides community care services to people with disabilities and their carers. Your local GP or municipal council might be able to help with information about this and other programs in your area.PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.HelplinesParentline is a confidential telephone counselling service that provides professional counselling and support for parents and carers. Its hours of operation are 8 am – 10 pm, seven days a week: 1300 301 300.Lifeline provides 24-hour telephone counselling: 13 11 14.Your relationship with your partnerRelationships Australia is a national organisation that provides relationship support services such as counselling, dispute resolution and relationship skills seminars. Your other childrenSiblings Australia is a national organisation that offers a range of services for siblings of children with special needs. These services include workshops, print and web resources, and networking opportunities for families across Australia.Finding out more about autismRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting help and support in VictoriaAutism pre-diagnosis support in VictoriaHelp & support: VicAmaze is your state autism association. It can provide information about help and support in Victoria. Contact: 24 Drummond Street Carlton VIC 3053 (PO Box 374, Carlton South, VIC 3053) Phone: (03) 9657 1600 Info line: 1300 308 699 Email: reception@amaze.org.auContact AmazeEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Support for youRespite The Commonwealth Carelink Centre Program provides information for carers. The Carelink Services Directory will help you find Carelink Centres and related services in your area. Alternatively, phone 1800 052 222 to talk to your nearest Commonwealth Carelink Centre.Stress, anxiety and depression: GP support Use My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area.ASD family support groups and forums Contact your state autism association and local autism advisor for details of support groups in your area.Online support groups and forums can also be a convenient way to meet others and share ideas and support. Visit:the Raising Children forum for parents of children with ASDAutism Spectrum Australia forums. Family and Community Services The Home and Community Care Program (HACC) provides community care services to people with disabilities and their carers. Your local GP or municipal council might be able to help with information about this and other programs in your area.PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.HelplinesParentline is a confidential telephone counselling service that provides professional counselling and support for parents and carers. Its hours of operation are 8 am – 12 am (Mon–Fri) and 10 am – 10 pm (Sat–Sun): 13 22 89.Lifeline provides 24-hour telephone counselling: 13 11 14.Your relationship with your partnerRelationships Australia is a national organisation that provides relationship support services such as counselling, dispute resolution and relationship skills seminars. Your other childrenSiblings Australia is a national organisation that offers a range of services for siblings of children with special needs. These services include workshops, print and web resources, and networking opportunities for families across Australia.Finding out more about autismRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting help and support in the ACTHelp & support: ACTAutism Asperger ACT is your state autism association. It can provide information about help and support in the Australian Capital Territory. Contact:Autism Asperger ACTC/- Self Help Organisations United Together (S.H.O.U.T)Bldg 1, Pearce CentreCollette Place Pearce ACT 2067 (PO Box 717, Mawson ACT 2607)Phone: (02) 6290 1984Email: autism1@optusnet.com.au Contact Autism Asperger ACTEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Support for youRespite The Commonwealth Carelink Centre Program provides information for carers. The Carelink Services Directory will help you find Carelink Centres and related services in your area. Alternatively, phone 1800 052 222 to talk to your nearest Commonwealth Carelink Centre.Stress, anxiety and depression: GP support Use My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area.ASD family support groups and forums Contact your state autism association and local autism advisor for details of support groups in your area.Online support groups and forums can also be a convenient way to meet others and share ideas and support. Visit:the Raising Children forum for parents of children with ASDAutism Spectrum Australia forums. Family and Community Services The Home and Community Care Program (HACC) provides community care services to people with disabilities and their carers. Your local GP or municipal council might be able to help with information about this and other programs in your area.PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.HelplinesParentline is a confidential telephone counselling service that provides professional counselling and support for parents and carers. Its hours of operation are 9 am – 9 pm (Mon–Fri except public holidays): (02) 6287 3833.Lifeline provides 24-hour telephone counselling: 13 11 14.Your relationship with your partnerRelationships Australia is a national organisation that provides relationship support services such as counselling, dispute resolution and relationship skills seminars. Your other childrenSiblings Australia is a national organisation that offers a range of services for siblings of children with special needs. These services include workshops, print and web resources, and networking opportunities for families across Australia.Finding out more about autismRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting help and support in TasmaniaHelp & support: TasAutism Tasmania is your state autism association. It can provide information about help and support in Tasmania. Contact:PO Box 313South Hobart 7004Phone: (03) 6423 2288Info line: 1300 288 476 Email: autismtas@autismtas.org.au Contact Autism TasmaniaEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Support for youRespite The Commonwealth Carelink Centre Program provides information for carers. The Carelink Services Directory will help you find Carelink Centres and related services in your area. Alternatively, phone 1800 052 222 to talk to your nearest Commonwealth Carelink Centre.Stress, anxiety and depression: GP support Use My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area.ASD family support groups and forums Contact your state autism association and local autism advisor for details of support groups in your area.Online support groups and forums can also be a convenient way to meet others and share ideas and support. Visit:the Raising Children forum for parents of children with ASDAutism Spectrum Australia forums. Family and Community Services The Home and Community Care Program (HACC) provides community care services to people with disabilities and their carers. Your local GP or municipal council might be able to help with information about this and other programs in your area.PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.HelplinesParentline is a 24-hour, confidential telephone counselling service that provides professional counselling and support for parents and carers: 1300 808 178.Lifeline provides 24-hour telephone counselling: 13 11 14.Your relationship with your partnerRelationships Australia is a national organisation that provides relationship support services such as counselling, dispute resolution and relationship skills seminars. Your other childrenSiblings Australia is a national organisation that offers a range of services for siblings of children with special needs. These services include workshops, print and web resources, and networking opportunities for families across Australia.Finding out more about autismRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting help and support in NTHelp & support: NTAutism NT is your state autism association. It can provide information about help and support in the Northern Territory. Contact:Shop 19, Nightcliff Shopping Centre Dick Ward Drive Coconut Grove NT 0810Phone: (08) 8948 4424Email: autismnt@autismnt.com.auContact Autism NTEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Support for youRespiteThe Commonwealth Carelink Centre Program provides information for carers. The Carelink Services Directory will help you find Carelink Centres and related services in your area. Alternatively, phone 1800 052 222 to talk to your nearest Commonwealth Carelink Centre.Stress, anxiety and depression: GP supportUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area.ASD family support groups and forumsContact your state autism association and local autism advisor for details of support groups in your area.Online support groups and forums can also be a convenient way to meet others and share ideas and support. Visit:the Raising Children forum for parents of children with ASDAutism Spectrum Australia forums. Family and Community ServicesThe Home and Community Care Program (HACC) provides community care services to people with disabilities and their carers. Your local GP or municipal council might be able to help with information about this and other programs in your area.PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.HelplinesParentline is a confidential telephone counselling service that provides professional counselling and support for parents and carers. Its hours of operation are 8 am – 10 pm, seven days a week: 1300 301 300.Lifeline provides 24-hour telephone counselling: 13 11 14.Your relationship with your partnerRelationships Australia is a national organisation that provides relationship support services such as counselling, dispute resolution and relationship skills seminars. Your other childrenSiblings Australia is a national organisation that offers a range of services for siblings of children with special needs. These services include workshops, print and web resources, and networking opportunities for families across Australia.Finding out more about autismRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting help and support in SAHelp & support: SAAutism SA is your state autism association. It can provide information about help and support in South Australia. Contact:262 Marion Road Netley SA 5037(PO Box 304, Marleston DC SA 5033)Phone: (08) 8379 6976Info line: 1300 288 476Email: admin@autismsa.org.auContact Autism SAEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Support for youRespite The Commonwealth Carelink Centre Program provides information for carers. The Carelink Services Directory will help you find Carelink Centres and related services in your area. Alternatively, phone 1800 052 222 to talk to your nearest Commonwealth Carelink Centre.Stress, anxiety and depression: GP support Use My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area.ASD family support groups and forums Contact your state autism association and local autism advisor for details of support groups in your area.Online support groups and forums can also be a convenient way to meet others and share ideas and support. Visit:the Raising Children forum for parents of children with ASDAutism Spectrum Australia forums. Family and Community Services The Home and Community Care Program (HACC) provides community care services to people with disabilities and their carers. Your local GP or municipal council might be able to help with information about this and other programs in your area.PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.HelplinesParentline is a 24-hour, confidential telephone counselling service that provides professional counselling and support for parents and carers: 1300 364 100.Lifeline provides 24-hour telephone counselling: 13 11 14.Your relationship with your partnerRelationships Australia is a national organisation that provides relationship support services such as counselling, dispute resolution and relationship skills seminars. Your other childrenSiblings Australia is a national organisation that offers a range of services for siblings of children with special needs. These services include workshops, print and web resources, and networking opportunities for families across Australia.Finding out more about autismRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview. read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightFinding early intervention in NSWEarly intervention: NSWAutism Spectrum Australia (Aspect) is your state autism association. It can provide information about autism advisors in New South Wales. Contact: Building 1, Level 2 14 Aquatic Drive Frenchs Forest NSW 2086 Phone: (02) 8977 8300 Info line: 1800 069 978 (NSW only) or (02) 8977 8377 Email: infoline@autismspectrum.org.auContact Autism Spectrum AustraliaEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Early intervention optionsVisit the Autism Spectrum Australia website to find out more about early intervention in New South Wales.Visit the Autism Awareness website to view the New South Wales early intervention directory.Visit the FAHCSIA website to view a list of the early intervention panel providers in New South Wales.Go to the New South Wales Early Childhood Intervention Infoline for information about early childhood intervention services in New South Wales or call the infoline on 1300 65 68 65.Visit the NSW Chapter of Early Childhood Intervention Australia or call (02) 9873 2593 for more information about early intervention in New South Wales.Allied health (therapy) providersGo to Speech Pathology Australia’s find a speech pathologist page to get contact details for speech pathologists in public and private practice.Go to the Australian Association of Occupational Therapists' find an OT page to get contact details for occupational therapists throughout Australia.Use the Australian Psychological Society’s find a psychologist tool to get contact details for psychologists who have registered as having expertise in working with children and ASD.Learn more about autism spectrum disorders (ASD)Read our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview. read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightFinding early intervention in WAEarly intervention: WAThe Autism Association of Western Australia (Inc)  is your state autism association. It can provide information about autism advisors in Western Australia. Contact:37 Hay Street Subiaco WA 6008 Ph: (08) 9489 8900 Email: autismwa@autism.org.auEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Early intervention optionsVisit the website of the Autism Association of Western Australia to find out more about early intervention in Western Australia.Visit the Autism Awareness website to view the Western Australia early intervention directory.Visit the FAHCSIA website to view a list of the early intervention panel providers in Western Australia.Read Disability WA's overview of early childhood intervention services.Visit the website of the Western Australia Chapter of Early Childhood Intervention Australia, or call (08) 9301 3849 for more information about early intervention in Western Australia.Allied health (therapy) providersGo to Speech Pathology Australia’s find a speech pathologist page to get contact details for speech pathologists in public and private practice.Go to the Australian Association of Occupational Therapists' find an OT page to get contact details for occupational therapists throughout Australia.Use the Australian Psychological Society’s find a psychologist tool to get contact details for psychologists who have registered as having expertise in working with children and ASD.Learn more about autism spectrum disorders (ASD)Read our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightFinding early intervention in QueenslandEarly intervention: QldAutism Queensland is your state autism association. It can provide information about autism advisors in Queensland. Contact: 437 Hellawell Road Sunnybank Hills Qld 4109 (PO Box 354, Sunnybank Hills Qld 4109) Phone: (07) 3273 0000 Email: admin@autismqld.com.au Contact Autism QueenslandEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Early intervention optionsVisit the Autism Queensland website to find out more about early intervention in Queensland.Visit the Autism Awareness website to view the Queensland early intervention directory.Visit the FAHCSIA website to view a list of the early intervention panel providers in Queensland.Read the Queensland Department of Education, Training and the Arts’ overview of early childhood development programs and services.Visit the website of the Queensland Chapter of Early Childhood Intervention Australia, or call (07) 3489 6366 for more information about early intervention in Queensland.Allied health (therapy) providersGo to Speech Pathology Australia’s find a speech pathologist page to get contact details for speech pathologists in public and private practice.Go to the Australian Association of Occupational Therapists' find an OT page to get contact details for occupational therapists throughout Australia.Use the Australian Psychological Society’s find a psychologist tool to get contact details for psychologists who have registered as having expertise in working with children and ASD.Learn more about autism spectrum disorders (ASD)Read our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview. read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightFinding early intervention in the ACTEarly intervention: ACTAutism Asperger ACT is your state autism association. It can provide information about autism advisors in the Australian Capital Territory. Contact: Autism Asperger ACT C/- Self Help Organisations United Together (S.H.O.U.T) Bldg 1, Pearce Centre Collette Place Pearce ACT 2067 (PO Box 717, Mawson ACT 2607) Phone: (02) 6290 1984Email: autism1@optusnet.com.au Contact Autism Asperger ACTEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Early intervention optionsContact Autism Asperger ACT to find out more about early intervention in the ACT.Visit the Autism Awareness website to view the ACT early intervention directory.Visit the FAHCSIA website to view a list of the early intervention panel providers in the ACT.Read the ACT Department of Education and Training’s overview of special education and early intervention services.Visit the website of the ACT Chapter of Early Childhood Intervention Australia, or call (02) 6290 1984 for more information about early intervention in the Australian Capital Territory.Allied health (therapy) providersGo to Speech Pathology Australia’s find a speech pathologist page to get contact details for speech pathologists in public and private practice.Go to the Australian Association of Occupational Therapists' find an OT page to get contact details for occupational therapists throughout Australia.Use the Australian Psychological Society’s find a psychologist tool to get contact details for psychologists who have registered as having expertise in working with children and ASD.Learn more about autism spectrum disorders (ASD)Read our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview. read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightFinding early intervention in TasmaniaEarly intervention: TasAutism Tasmania is your state autism association. It can provide information about autism advisors in Tasmania. Contact: PO Box 313 South Hobart 7004 Phone: (03) 6423 2288 Info line: 1300 288 476 Email: autismtas@autismtas.org.au Contact Autism TasmaniaEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Early intervention optionsVisit the Autism Tasmania website to find out more about early intervention in Tasmania.Visit the Autism Awareness website to view the Tasmania early intervention directory.Visit the FAHCSIA website to view a list of the early intervention panel providers in Tasmania.Read the Tasmanian Department of Education overview of early childhood intervention services.Visit the website of the Tasmanian Chapter of Early Childhood Intervention Australia, or call (02) 6290 1984 for more information about early intervention in Tasmania.Allied health (therapy) providersGo to Speech Pathology Australia’s find a speech pathologist page to get contact details for speech pathologists in public and private practice.Go to the Australian Association of Occupational Therapists' find an OT page to get contact details for occupational therapists throughout Australia.Use the Australian Psychological Society’s find a psychologist tool to get contact details for psychologists who have registered as having expertise in working with children and ASD.Learn more about autism spectrum disorders (ASD)Read our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview. read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightFinding early intervention in NTEarly intervention: NTAutism NT is your state autism association. It can provide information about autism advisors in the Northern Territory. Contact: Shop 19, Nightcliff Shopping Centre Dick Ward Drive Coconut Grove NT 0810 Phone: (08) 8948 4424 Email: info@autismnt.com.au Contact Autism NTEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Early intervention optionsVisit the Autism Awareness website to view the Northern Territory early intervention directory.Visit the FAHCSIA website to view a list of the early intervention panel providers in Northern Territory.Read the Northern Territory Department of Education and Training’s overview of early childhood intervention services.Allied health (therapy) providersGo to Speech Pathology Australia’s find a speech pathologist page to get contact details for speech pathologists in public and private practice.Go to the Australian Association of Occupational Therapists' find an OT page to get contact details for occupational therapists throughout Australia.Use the Australian Psychological Society’s find a psychologist tool to get contact details for psychologists who have registered as having expertise in working with children and ASD.Learn more about autism spectrum disorders (ASD)Read our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview. read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGoing to school in NSWSchool: NSWAutism Spectrum Australia (Aspect) is your state autism association. It can provide information about any autism-specific schooling or support classes available in your area. Contact: Building 1, Level 2 14 Aquatic Drive Frenchs Forest NSW 2086 Phone: (02) 8977 8300 Info line: (02) 8977 8377 Email: infoline@autismspectrum.org.auPre-school developmental assessmentTalk to your child’s early intervention team, preschool staff, GP or specialist about a developmental assessment for your child before school starts. Autism Spectrum Australia will also be able to provide information about developmental assessments.SchoolsThe NSW Department of Education and Training provides links and contact phone numbers for your regional office. Or contact the head office on (02) 9561 8000 where a disability programs consultant or early education consultant will be able to assist you.Positive PartnershipsThese are professional development workshops, information sessions and online learning modules being run across Australia on behalf of the Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations. For more information, visit Positive Partnerships, and register to use the online learning portal for parents and teachers.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGoing to school in WASchool: WAThe Autism Association of Western Australia (Inc)  is your state autism association. It can provide information about any autism-specific schooling or support classes available in Western Australia. Contact:37 Hay Street Subiaco WA 6008 Ph: (08) 9489 8900 Email: autismwa@autism.org.auPre-school developmental assessmentTalk to your child’s early intervention team, preschool staff, GP or specialist about a developmental assessment for your child before school starts. The Autism Association of Western Australia will also be able to provide information about developmental assessments.SchoolsThe WA Department of Education and Training provides links and contact phone numbers for your regional office. Or contact the head office on (08) 9264 4111 where a disability programs consultant or early education consultant will be able to assist you.Positive PartnershipsThese are professional development workshops, information sessions and online learning modules being run across Australia on behalf of the Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations. For more information, visit Positive Partnerships, and register to use the online learning portal for parents and teachers.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGoing to school in QueenslandSchool: QueenslandAutism Queensland is your state autism association. It can provide information about any autism-specific schooling or support classes available in Queensland. Contact: 437 Hellawell Road Sunnybank Hills Qld 4109 (PO Box 354, Sunnybank Hills Qld 4109) Phone: (07) 3273 0000 Email: admin@autismqld.com.au Pre-school developmental assessmentTalk to your child’s early intervention team, preschool staff, GP or specialist about a developmental assessment for your child before school starts. Autism Queensland will also be able to provide information about developmental assessments.SchoolsThe Queensland Department of Education, Training and the Arts provides links and contact phone numbers for your regional office. Or contact the head office on (07) 3237 0111 where a disability programs consultant or early education consultant will be able to assist you.Positive PartnershipsThese are professional development workshops, information sessions and online learning modules being run across Australia on behalf of the Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations. For more information, visit Positive Partnerships, and register to use the online learning portal for parents and teachers. read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGoing to school in VictoriaASD and autism-specific schools in VictoriaSchool: VictoriaAmaze – Autism Victoria is your state autism association. It can provide information about any autism-specific schooling or support classes available in Victoria. Contact: 24 Drummond Street Carlton Vic 3053 (PO Box 235, Ashburton Vic 3147) Phone: (03) 9657 1600 Info line: 1300 308 699 Email: reception@amaze.org.auPre-school developmental assessmentTalk to your child’s early intervention team, preschool staff, GP or specialist about a developmental assessment for your child before school starts. Autism Victoria will also be able to provide information about developmental assessments.SchoolsThe Victorian Department of Education and Early Childhood Development provides links and contact phone numbers for your regional office. Or contact the head office on (03) 9637 2000 where a disability programs consultant or early education consultant will be able to assist you.Positive PartnershipsThese are professional development workshops, information sessions and online learning modules being run across Australia on behalf of the Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations. For more information, visit Positive Partnerships, and register to use the online learning portal for parents and teachers.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGoing to school in the ACTSchool: ACTAutism Asperger ACT is your state autism association. It can provide information about any autism-specific schooling or support classes available in your area. Contact: Autism Asperger ACT C/- Self Help Organisations United Together (S.H.O.U.T) Bldg 1, Pearce Centre Collette Place Pearce ACT 2067 (PO Box 717, Mawson ACT 2607)Phone: (02) 6290 1984 Email: autism1@optusnet.com.auPre-school developmental assessmentTalk to your child’s early intervention team, preschool staff, GP or specialist about a developmental assessment for your child before school starts. Autism Asperger ACT will also be able to provide information about developmental assessments.SchoolsThe ACT Department of Education and Training provides links and contact phone numbers for your regional office. Or contact the head office on (02) 6207 5111 where a disability programs consultant or early education consultant will be able to assist you.Positive PartnershipsThese are professional development workshops, information sessions and online learning modules being run across Australia on behalf of the Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations. For more information, visit Positive Partnerships, and register to use the online learning portal for parents and teachers.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGoing to school in TasmaniaSchool: TasmaniaAutism Tasmania is your state autism association. It can provide information about any autism-specific schooling or support classes available in Tasmania. Contact: PO Box 313 South Hobart 7004 Phone: (03) 6423 2288 Info line: 1300 288 476 Email: autismtas@autismtas.org.auPre-school developmental assessmentTalk to your child’s early intervention team, preschool staff, GP or specialist about a developmental assessment for your child before school starts. Autism Tasmania will also be able to provide information about developmental assessments.SchoolsThe Tasmania Department of Education provides links and contact phone numbers for your regional office. Or contact the head office on (03) 6234 8238 where a disability programs consultant or early education consultant will be able to assist you.Positive PartnershipsThese are professional development workshops, information sessions and online learning modules being run across Australia on behalf of the Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations. For more information, visit Positive Partnerships, and register to use the online learning portal for parents and teachers.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGoing to school in NTSchool: NTAutism NT is your state autism association. It can provide information about any autism-specific schooling or support classes available in your area. Contact: Shop 19, Nightcliff Shopping Centre Dick Ward Drive Coconut Grove NT 0810 Phone: (08) 8948 4424 Email: autismnt@autismnt.com.auPre-school developmental assessmentTalk to your child’s early intervention team, preschool staff, GP or specialist about a developmental assessment for your child before school starts. Autism NT will also be able to provide information about developmental assessments.SchoolsThe Northern Territory Department of Education and Training provides links and contact phone numbers for your regional office. Or contact the head office on (08) 8999 5659 where a disability programs consultant or early education consultant will be able to assist you.Positive PartnershipsThese are professional development workshops, information sessions and online learning modules being run across Australia on behalf of the Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations. For more information, visit Positive Partnerships, and register to use the online learning portal for parents and teachers.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGoing to school in SASchool: SAAutism SA is your state autism association. It can provide information about any autism-specific schooling or support classes available in your area. Contact: 262 Marion Road Netley SA 5037 (PO Box 304, Marleston DC SA 5033) Phone: (08) 8379 6976 Info line: 1300 288 476 Email: admin@autismsa.org.auPre-school developmental assessmentTalk to your child’s early intervention team, preschool staff, GP or specialist about a developmental assessment for your child before school starts. Autism SA will also be able to provide information about developmental assessments.SchoolsThe SA Department of Education and Children’s Services provides links and contact phone numbers for your regional office. Or contact the head office on 1800 088 158  where a disability programs consultant or early education consultant will be able to assist you.Positive PartnershipsThese are professional development workshops, information sessions and online learning modules being run across Australia on behalf of the Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations. For more information, visit Positive Partnerships, and register to use the online learning portal for parents and teachers.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightFinding early intervention in SAEarly intervention: SAAutism SA is your state autism association. It can provide information about autism advisors in South Australia. Contact: 262 Marion Road Netley SA 5037 (PO Box 304, Marleston DC SA 5033) Phone: (08) 8379 6976 Info line: 1300 288 476 Email: admin@autismsa.org.auContact Autism SAEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.Early intervention optionsVisit the Autism SA website to find out more about early development programs and services in South Australia.Visit the Autism Awareness website to view the South Australia early intervention directory.Visit the FAHCSIA website to view a list of the early intervention panel providers in South Australia.Read the South Australian Department for Families and Communities’ overview of specialist services for autism spectrum disorder.Visit the website of the South Australia chapter of Early Childhood Intervention Australia, or call  (08) 8345 5019 for more information about early intervention in South Australia.Allied health (therapy) providersGo to Speech Pathology Australia’s find a speech pathologist page to get contact details for speech pathologists in public and private practice.Go to the Australian Association of Occupational Therapists' find an OT page to get contact details for occupational therapists throughout Australia.Use the Australian Psychological Society’s find a psychologist tool to get contact details for psychologists who have registered as having expertise in working with children and ASD.Learn more about autism spectrum disorders (ASD)Read our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Read the Autism Speaks autism overview. read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightChild care and early learning in QueenslandChild care: QldAutism Queensland is your state autism association. It can provide information about ASD services and support in Queensland. Contact: 437 Hellawell Road Sunnybank Hills QLD 4109 (PO Box 354, Sunnybank Hills QLD 4109) Phone: (07) 3273 0000 Email: admin@autismqld.com.au Contact Autism QueenslandChild care: long day care, family day care, in-home careVisit the Australian Government’s MyChild website and review the information about support and options for children with special needs.Visit the Queensland Professional Support Coordinator website or phone 1300 855 508 (Freecall) for information about specific child care options for children with additional needs.Go to the National Childcare Accreditation Council’s child care search page to find family day care, long day care and outside school hours care services in your area.Go to Family Day Care Australia’s scheme locator to find out about family day care options in your area. You can also phone 1800 621 218 (freecall).PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism (HCWA) package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.Early childhood education: preschool, kindergarten, pre-primaryThese early education settings are generally administered and registered through state and territory departments of education. In Queensland, contact:Department of Education, Training and the ArtsDisability Services Support Unit 141 Merton RoadWoolloongabba QLD 4102Phone: (07) 3237 0111E-mail: disabilityservicessupportunit.dssu@deta.qld.gov.auEarly Childhood Intervention Australia This is an association of parents and professionals working together to promote the interests of young children with special needs and their families. In Queensland, contact:Early Childhood Intervention Australia Queensland Chapter Phone: 07 3489 6366Email: eciaqld@ecia.org.auEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightChild care and early learning in NSWChild care: NSWAutism Spectrum Australia (Aspect) is your state autism association. It can provide information about ASD services and support in New South Wales. Contact: Building 1, Level 2 14 Aquatic Drive Frenchs Forest NSW 2086 Phone: (02) 8977 8300 Info line: (02) 8977 8377 Email: infoline@autismspectrum.org.auContact Autism Spectrum AustraliaChild care: long day care, family day care, in-home careVisit the Australian Government’s MyChild website and review the information about support and options for children with special needs.Visit the Children’s Services Central website or phone 1800 157 818 (Freecall) for information about specific child care options for children with additional needs.Go to the National Childcare Accreditation Council’s child care search page to find family day care, long day care and outside school hours care services in your area.Go to Family Day Care Australia’s scheme locator to find out about family day care options in your area. You can also phone 1800 621 218 (freecall).PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism (HCWA) package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.Early childhood education: preschool, kindergarten, pre-primaryThese early education settings are generally administered and registered through state and territory departments of education. In New South Wales, contact:Department of Education and Training35 Bridge StreetSydney NSW 2000Phone: (02) 9561 8000E-mail: publicliaison@det.nsw.edu.auEarly Childhood Intervention Australia This is an association of parents and professionals working together to promote the interests of young children with special needs and their families. In New South Wales, contact:Early Childhood Intervention Australia NSW Chapter Phone: (02) 9873 2593Email: admin@ecia-nsw.org.auEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightChild care and early learning in VictoriaASD childcare and early learning: VictoriaChild care: VicAmaze - Autism Victoria is your state autism association. It can provide information about ASD services and support in Victoria. Contact: 24 Drummond Street Carlton VIC 3053 (PO Box 235, Ashburton VIC 3147) Phone: (03) 9657 1600 Info line: 1300 308 699 Email: reception@amaze.org.auContact AmazeChild care: long day care, family day care, in-home careVisit the Australian Government’s MyChild website and review the information about support and options for children with special needs.Visit the website of Community Child Care Victoria, Victoria's Professional Support Coordinator, or phone 1800 177 017 (Freecall) for information about specific child care options for children with additional needs.Go to the National Childcare Accreditation Council’s child care search page to find family day care, long day care and outside school hours care services in your area.Go to Family Day Care Australia’s scheme locator to find out about family day care options in your area. You can also phone 1800 621 218 (freecall).PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government’s Helping Children with Autism (HCWA) package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.Early childhood education: preschool, kindergarten, pre-primaryThese early education settings are generally administered and registered through state and territory departments of education. In Victoria, contact:Department of Education and Early Childhood Development  2 Treasury Place East Melbourne VIC 3001 Phone: (03) 9637 2000Early Childhood Intervention Australia This is an association of parents and professionals working together to promote the interests of young children with special needs and their families. In Victoria, contact:Early Childhood Intervention Australia Victorian Chapter  Phone: (03) 9509 5584 Email: info@eciavic.org.auEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightChild care and early learning in WAChild care: WAThe Autism Association of Western Australia (Inc) is your state autism association. It can provide information about ASD services and support in Western Australia. Contact:37 Hay Street Subiaco WA 6008 Ph: (08) 9489 8900 Email: autismwa@autism.org.auChild care: long day care, family day care, in-home careVisit the Australian Government’s MyChild website and review the information about support and options for children with special needs.Visit the Western Australia Professional Support Coordinator website or phone 1800 783 768 (Freecall) for information about specific child care options for children with additional needs.Go to the National Childcare Accreditation Council’s child care search page to find family day care, long day care and outside school hours care services in your area.Go to Family Day Care Australia’s scheme locator to find out about family day care options in your area. You can also phone 1800 621 218 (freecall).PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government’s Helping Children with Autism (HCWA) package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.Early childhood education: preschool, kindergarten, pre-primaryThese early education settings are generally administered and registered through state and territory departments of education. In Western Australia, contact:Department of Education and Training 151 Royal Street East Perth WA 6004 Phone: (08) 9264 4111Early Childhood Intervention Australia This is an association of parents and professionals working together to promote the interests of young children with special needs and their families. In Western Australia, contact:Early Childhood Intervention Australia Western Australia chapter Phone: (08) 9301 3849Email: luscombe5@aapt.net.auEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightChild care and early learning in the ACTChild care: ACTAutism Asperger ACT is your state autism association. It can provide information about ASD services and support in the Australian Capital Territory. Contact: Autism Asperger ACT C/- Self Help Organisations United Together (S.H.O.U.T) Bldg 1, Pearce Centre Collette Place Pearce ACT 2067 (PO Box 717, Mawson ACT 2607) Ph: (02) 6290 1984 Email: autism1@optusnet.com.au Contact Autism Asperger ACTChild care: long day care, family day care, in-home careVisit the Australian Government’s MyChild website and review the information about support and options for children with special needs.Visit the ACT Professional Support Coordinator website or phone 1800 228 772 (Freecall) for information about specific child care options for children with additional needs.Go to the National Childcare Accreditation Council’s childcare search page to find family day care, long day care and outside school hours care services in your area.Go to Family Day Care Australia’s scheme locator to find out about family day care options in your area. You can also phone 1800 621 218 (freecall).PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism (HCWA) package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.Early childhood education: preschool, kindergarten, pre-primaryThese early education settings are generally administered and registered through state and territory departments of education. In the ACT, contact:Department of Education and TrainingSpecial Education Services220 Northbourne AvenueBraddon ACT 2612Phone: (02) 6207 5111E-mail: detfeedback@act.gov.auEarly Childhood Intervention Australia This is an association of parents and professionals working together to promote the interests of young children with special needs and their families. In the ACT, contact:Early Childhood Intervention Australia ACT chapterPhone: (02) 6290 1984Email: ecia_act@shout.org.auEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightChild care and early learning in TasmaniaChild care: TasAutism Tasmania is your state autism association. It can provide information about ASD services and support in Tasmania. Contact: PO Box 313 South Hobart 7004 Phone: (03) 6423 2288 Info line: 1300 288 476 Email: autismtas@autismtas.org.au Contact Autism TasmaniaChild care: long day care, family day care, in-home careVisit the Australian Government’s MyChild website and review the information about support and options for children with special needs.Visit the Tasmanian Professional Support Coordinator website or phone 1800 647 718 (Freecall) for information about specific child care options for children with additional needs.Go to the National Childcare Accreditation Council’s child care search page to find family day care, long day care and outside school hours care services in your area.Go to Family Day Care Australia’s scheme locator to find out about family day care options in your area. You can also phone 1800 621 218 (freecall).PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government’s Helping Children with Autism (HCWA) package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.Early childhood education: preschool, kindergarten, pre-primaryThese early education settings are generally administered and registered through state and territory departments of education. In Tasmania, contact:Department of EducationEarly Childhood Intervention Service 174 Brooker AvenueHobart TAS 7000Phone: (03) 6234 8238E-mail: ecis.tasmania.hobart@education.tas.gov.auEarly Childhood Intervention Australia This is an association of parents and professionals working together to promote the interests of young children with special needs and their families. In Tasmania, contact:Early Childhood Intervention Australia Tasmanian chapterPhone: (03) 6231 1625Email: ecia@education.tas.gov.auEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightChild care and early learning in NTChild care: NTAutism NT is your state autism association. It can provide information about ASD services and support in the Northern Territory. Contact: Shop 19, Nightcliff Shopping Centre Dick Ward Drive Coconut Grove NT 0810 Phone: (08) 8948 4424 Email: info@autismnt.com.au Contact Autism NTChild care: long day care, family day care, in-home careVisit the Australian Government’s MyChild website and review the information about support and options for children with special needs.Visit the NT Children's Services Support Program or phone 08 8953 4059 for information about specific child care options for children with additional needs.Go to the National Childcare Accreditation Council’s child care search page to find family day care, long day care and outside school hours care services in your area.Go to Family Day Care Australia’s scheme locator to find out about family day care options in your area. You can also phone 1800 621 218 (freecall).PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government’s Helping Children with Autism (HCWA) package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.Early childhood education: preschool, kindergarten, pre-primaryThese early education settings are generally administered and registered through state and territory departments of education. In the Northern Territory, contact:Department of Education and TrainingPO Box 4821Darwin NT 0801Phone: (08) 8999 5659E-mail: Infocentre.det@nt.gov.auEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightChild care and early learning in SAChild care: SAAutism SA is your state autism association. It can provide information about ASD services and support in South Australia. Contact: 262 Marion Road Netley SA 5037 (PO Box 304, Marleston DC SA 5033) Phone: (08) 8379 6976 Info line: 1300 288 476 Email: admin@autismsa.org.auContact Autism SAChild care: long day care, family day care, in-home careVisit the Australian Government’s MyChild website and review the information about support and options for children with special needs.Visit the South Australian Professional Support Coordinator website or phone 1800 129 606 (Freecall) for information about specific child care options for children with additional needs.Go to the National Childcare Accreditation Council’s child care search page to find family day care, long day care and outside school hours care services in your area.Go to Family Day Care Australia’s scheme locator to find out about family day care options in your area. You can also phone 1800 621 218 (freecall).PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government’s Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.Early childhood education: preschool, kindergarten, pre-primaryThese early education settings are generally administered and registered through state and territory departments of education. In South Australia, contact:Department of Education and Children’s Services31 Flinders StreetAdelaide SA 5000Phone: 1800 088 158Email:decscustomers@saugov.sa.gov.auEarly Childhood Intervention Australia This is an association of parents and professionals working together to promote the interests of young children with special needs and their families. In South Australia, contact:Early Childhood Intervention Australia South Australia chapterPhone: (08) 8345 5019Email:eciasa@ecia.org.auEarly Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting help and support in NSWHelp & support: NSWAutism Spectrum Australia (Aspect) is your state autism association. It can provide contact details for autism advisors and information about help and support in New South Wales. Contact:Building 1, Level 214 Aquatic DriveFrenchs Forest NSW 2086Phone: (02) 8977 8300 Info line: (02) 8977 8377 Email: infoline@autismspectrum.org.auContact Autism Spectrum AustraliaFinding out more about autismRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Watch video clips from the Autism Speaks video glossary.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Early Days workshops Find out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.Your relationship with your partnerRelationships Australia is a national organisation that provides relationship support services such as counselling, dispute resolution and relationship skills seminars. Your other childrenSiblings Australia is a national organisation that offers a range of services for siblings of children with special needs. These services include workshops, print and web resources, and networking opportunities for families across Australia.Support for youRespite The Commonwealth Carelink Centre Program provides information for carers. The Carelink Services Directory will help you find Carelink Centres and related services in your area. Alternatively, phone 1800 052 222 to talk to your nearest Commonwealth Carelink Centre.National Carer Counselling ProgramThe National Carer Counselling Program (NCCP) is delivered by the carers association in each state and territory, and is managed by Carers Australia. Further information is available from your state or territory carers association on 1800 242 636.Stress, anxiety and depression: GP support Use My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area.ASD family support groups and forums Contact your state autism association and local autism advisor for details of support groups in your area.Online support groups and forums can also be a convenient way to meet others and share ideas and support. Visit:the Raising Children forum for parents of children with ASDAutism Spectrum Australia forums. Disability support organisationsThe NSW Department of Ageing, Disability and Homecare provides a range of supports and services for children with a disability and their families. Phone (02) 8270 2000.Carers NSW can provide information and respite. Phone 1800 242 636.Family and Community Services The Home and Community Care Program (HACC) provides community care services to people with disabilities and their carers. Your local GP or municipal council might be able to help with information about this and other programs in your area.HelplinesParentline is a 24-hour, confidential telephone counselling service that provides professional counselling and support for parents and carers: 13 20 55.Lifeline provides 24-hour telephone counselling: 131 114.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting help and support in SAHelp & support: SAAutism SA is your state autism association. It can provide contact details for autism advisors and information about help and support in South Australia. Contact: 262 Marion Road Netley SA 5037 (PO Box 304, Marleston DC SA 5033) Phone: (08) 8379 6976 Info line: 1300 288 476 Email: admin@autismsa.org.auContact Autism SAFinding out more about autismRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Watch video clips from the Autism Speaks video glossary.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Early Days workshops Find out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.Your relationship with your partnerRelationships Australia is a national organisation that provides relationship support services such as counselling, dispute resolution and relationship skills seminars. Your other childrenSiblings Australia is a national organisation that offers a range of services for siblings of children with special needs. These services include workshops, print and web resources, and networking opportunities for families across Australia.Support for youRespite The Commonwealth Carelink Centre Program provides information for carers. The Carelink Services Directory will help you find Carelink Centres and related services in your area. Alternatively, phone 1800 052 222 to talk to your nearest Commonwealth Carelink Centre.National Carer Counselling ProgramThe National Carer Counselling Program (NCCP) is delivered by the carers association in each state and territory, and is managed by Carers Australia. Further information is available from your state or territory carers association on 1800 242 636.Stress, anxiety and depression: GP support Use My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area.ASD family support groups and forums Contact your state autism association and local autism advisor for details of support groups in your area.Online support groups and forums can also be a convenient way to meet others and share ideas and support. Visit:the Raising Children forum for parents of children with ASDAutism Spectrum Australia forums. Disability support organisationsDisability SA provides a range of supports and services for children with a disability and their families. Phone (08) 8272 1988.Carers SA can provide information and respite. Phone 1800 242 636 (free call)Family and Community Services The Home and Community Care Program (HACC) provides community care services to people with disabilities and their carers. Your local GP or municipal council might be able to help with information about this and other programs in your area.HelplinesParentline is a 24-hour, confidential telephone counselling service that provides professional counselling and support for parents and carers: 13 20 55.Lifeline provides 24-hour telephone counselling: 131 114.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting help and support in VictoriaHelp & support: VictoriaAutism Victoria is your state autism association. It can provide contact details for autism advisors and information about help and support in Victoria. Contact: 24 Drummond Street Carlton Vic 3053 (PO Box 235, Ashburton Vic 3147) Phone: (03) 9657 1600 Info line: 1300 308 699 Email: admin@autismvictoria.org.au Information about autism advisorsFinding out more about autismRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Watch video clips from the Autism Speaks video glossary.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Early Days workshops Find out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.Your relationship with your partnerRelationships Australia is a national organisation that provides relationship support services such as counselling, dispute resolution and relationship skills seminars. Your other childrenSiblings Australia is a national organisation that offers a range of services for siblings of children with special needs. These services include workshops, print and web resources, and networking opportunities for families across Australia.Support for youRespite The Commonwealth Carelink Centre Program provides information for carers. The Carelink Services Directory will help you find Carelink Centres and related services in your area. Alternatively, phone 1800 052 222 to talk to your nearest Commonwealth Carelink Centre.National Carer Counselling ProgramThe National Carer Counselling Program (NCCP) is delivered by the carers association in each state and territory, and is managed by Carers Australia. Further information is available from your state or territory carers association on 1800 242 636.Stress, anxiety and depression: GP support Use My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area.ASD family support groups and forums Contact your state autism association and local autism advisor for details of support groups in your area.Online support groups and forums can also be a convenient way to meet others and share ideas and support. Visit:the Raising Children forum for parents of children with ASDAutism Spectrum Australia forums. Disability support organisationsVictoria Disability Services provides a range of supports and services for children with a disability and their families. Phone 1300 650 172.Carers Victoria can provide information and respite. Phone 1800 242 636 (free call).Family and Community Services The Home and Community Care Program (HACC) provides community care services to people with disabilities and their carers. Your local GP or municipal council might be able to help with information about this and other programs in your area.HelplinesParentline is a 24-hour, confidential telephone counselling service that provides professional counselling and support for parents and carers: 13 20 55.Lifeline provides 24-hour telephone counselling: 131 114.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting help and support in WAHelp & support: WAAutism Association of Western Australia is a state autism association. It can provide contact details for autism advisors and information about help and support in Western Australia. Contact:37 Hay StreetSubiaco WA 6008Ph: (08) 9489 8900Email: autismwa@autism.org.auFinding out more about autismRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Watch video clips from the Autism Speaks video glossary.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Early Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.Your relationship with your partnerRelationships Australia is a national organisation that provides relationship support services such as counselling, dispute resolution and relationship skills seminars. Your other childrenSiblings Australia is a national organisation that offers a range of services for siblings of children with special needs. These services include workshops, print and web resources, and networking opportunities for families across Australia.Support for youRespiteThe Commonwealth Carelink Centre Program provides information for carers. The Carelink Services Directory will help you find Carelink Centres and related services in your area. Alternatively, phone 1800 052 222 to talk to your nearest Commonwealth Carelink Centre.National Carer Counselling ProgramThe National Carer Counselling Program (NCCP) is delivered by the carers association in each state and territory, and is managed by Carers Australia. Further information is available from your state or territory carers association on 1800 242 636.Stress, anxiety and depression: GP supportUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area.ASD family support groups and forumsContact your state autism association and local autism advisor for details of support groups in your area.Online support groups and forums can also be a convenient way to meet others and share ideas and support. Visit:the Raising Children forum for parents of children with ASDAutism Spectrum Australia forums. Disability support organisationsThe WA Disability Services Commission provides a range of supports and services for people with a disability and their families, including local area coordinators (LACs). LAC's support people with disabilities by helping them access services which enhance their participation and contribution to their local community.  Phone (08) 9426 9200.Carers WA can provide information and respite. Phone 1300 227 377.Family and Community ServicesThe Home and Community Care Program (HACC) provides community care services to people with disabilities and their carers. Your local GP or municipal council might be able to help with information about this and other programs in your area.HelplinesParentline is a 24-hour, confidential telephone counselling service that provides professional counselling and support for parents and carers: 13 20 55.Lifeline provides 24-hour telephone counselling: 131 114.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting help and support in QueenslandHelp & support: QldAutism Queensland is your state autism association. It can provide contact details for autism advisors and information about help and support in Queensland. Contact: 437 Hellawell Road Sunnybank Hills Qld 4109 (PO Box 354, Sunnybank Hills Qld 4109) Phone: (07) 3273 0000 Email: admin@autismqld.com.au Finding out more about autismRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Watch video clips from the Autism Speaks video glossary.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Early Days workshops Find out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.Your relationship with your partnerRelationships Australia is a national organisation that provides relationship support services such as counselling, dispute resolution and relationship skills seminars. Your other childrenSiblings Australia is a national organisation that offers a range of services for siblings of children with special needs. These services include workshops, print and web resources, and networking opportunities for families across Australia.Support for youRespite The Commonwealth Carelink Centre Program provides information for carers. The Carelink Services Directory will help you find Carelink Centres and related services in your area. Alternatively, phone 1800 052 222 to talk to your nearest Commonwealth Carelink Centre.National Carer Counselling ProgramThe National Carer Counselling Program (NCCP) is delivered by the carers association in each state and territory, and is managed by Carers Australia. Further information is available from your state or territory carers association on 1800 242 636.Stress, anxiety and depression: GP support Use My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area.ASD family support groups and forums Contact your state autism association and local autism advisor for details of support groups in your area.Online support groups and forums can also be a convenient way to meet others and share ideas and support. Visit:the Raising Children forum for parents of children with ASDAutism Spectrum Australia forums. Disability support organisationsDisability Services Queensland provides a range of support and services for children with a disability and their families. Phone 1800 177 120.Carers Queensland can provide information and respite. Phone 1800 242 636.Family and Community Services The Home and Community Care Program (HACC) provides community care services to people with disabilities and their carers. Your local GP or municipal council might be able to help with information about this and other programs in your area.HelplinesParentline is a 24-hour, confidential telephone counselling service that provides professional counselling and support for parents and carers: 13 20 55.Lifeline provides 24-hour telephone counselling: 131 114.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting help and support in the ACTHelp & support: ACTAutism Asperger ACT is your state autism association. It can provide contact details for autism advisors and information about help and support in the Australian Capital Territory. Contact: Autism Asperger ACT C/- Self Help Organisations United Together (SHOUT) Bldg 1, Pearce Centre Collette Place Pearce ACT 2067 (PO Box 717, Mawson ACT 2607)Phone: (02) 6290 1984 Email: autism1@optusnet.com.auFinding out more about autismRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Watch video clips from the Autism Speaks video glossary.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Early Days workshops Find out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.Your relationship with your partnerRelationships Australia is a national organisation that provides relationship support services such as counselling, dispute resolution and relationship skills seminars. Your other childrenSiblings Australia is a national organisation that offers a range of services for siblings of children with special needs. These services include workshops, print and web resources, and networking opportunities for families across Australia.Support for youRespite The Commonwealth Carelink Centre Program provides information for carers. The Carelink Services Directory will help you find Carelink Centres and related services in your area. Alternatively, phone 1800 052 222 to talk to your nearest Commonwealth Carelink Centre.National Carer Counselling ProgramThe National Carer Counselling Program (NCCP) is delivered by the carers association in each state and territory, and is managed by Carers Australia. Further information is available from your state or territory carers association on 1800 242 636.Stress, anxiety and depression: GP support Use My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area.ASD family support groups and forums Contact your state autism association and local autism advisor for details of support groups in your area.Online support groups and forums can also be a convenient way to meet others and share ideas and support. Visit:the Raising Children forum for parents of children with ASDAutism Spectrum Australia forums. Disability support organisationsDisability ACT provides a range of support and services for children with a disability and their families. Phone (02) 6207 1086.Carers ACT can provide information and respite. Phone (02) 6296 9900.Family and Community Services The Home and Community Care Program (HACC) provides community care services to people with disabilities and their carers. Your local GP or municipal council might be able to help with information about this and other programs in your area.HelplinesParentline is a 24-hour, confidential telephone counselling service that provides professional counselling and support for parents and carers: 13 20 55.Lifeline provides 24-hour telephone counselling: 131 114.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting help and support in TasmaniaHelp & support: TasmaniaAutism Tasmania is your state autism association. It can provide contact details for autism advisors and information about help and support in Tasmania. Contact: PO Box 313 South Hobart 7004 Phone: (03) 6423 2288 Info line: 1300 288 476 Email: autismtas@autismtas.org.auFinding out more about autismRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Watch video clips from the Autism Speaks video glossary.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Early Days workshops Find out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.Your relationship with your partnerRelationships Australia is a national organisation that provides relationship support services such as counselling, dispute resolution and relationship skills seminars. Your other childrenSiblings Australia is a national organisation that offers a range of services for siblings of children with special needs. These services include workshops, print and web resources, and networking opportunities for families across Australia.Support for youRespite The Commonwealth Carelink Centre Program provides information for carers. The Carelink Services Directory will help you find Carelink Centres and related services in your area. Alternatively, phone 1800 052 222 to talk to your nearest Commonwealth Carelink Centre.National Carer Counselling ProgramThe National Carer Counselling Program (NCCP) is delivered by the carers association in each state and territory, and is managed by Carers Australia. Further information is available from your state or territory carers association on 1800 242 636.Stress, anxiety and depression: GP support Use My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area.ASD family support groups and forums Contact your state autism association and local autism advisor for details of support groups in your area.Online support groups and forums can also be a convenient way to meet others and share ideas and support. Visit:the Raising Children forum for parents of children with ASDAutism Spectrum Australia forums. Disability support organisations The Tasmania Aged and Disability Care Information Service provides a range of support and services for children with a disability and their families. Phone (03) 6228 5799.Carers Tasmania can provide information and respite. Phone (03) 6231 5507.Family and Community Services The Home and Community Care Program (HACC) provides community care services to people with disabilities and their carers. Your local GP or municipal council might be able to help with information about this and other programs in your area.HelplinesParentline is a 24-hour, confidential telephone counselling service that provides professional counselling and support for parents and carers: 13 20 55.Lifeline provides 24-hour telephone counselling: 131 114.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightGetting help and support in NTHelp & support: NTAutism NT is your state autism association. It can provide contacts for autism advisors and information about help and support in the Northern Territory:Shop 19, Nightcliff Shopping Centre Dick Ward Drive Coconut Grove NT 0810Phone: (08) 8948 4424Email: autismnt@autismnt.com.auFinding out more about autismRead our articles on learning about autism and early intervention.Watch video clips from the Autism Speaks video glossary.Look through the Autism Awareness reading guide.Early Days workshopsFind out more about the Early Days program, and register your interest in attending a workshop in your area.MyTimeMyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.PlayConnectPlayConnect playgroups are part of the Australian Government's Helping Children with Autism package. PlayConnect is open to families with a child aged 0-6 who has ASD or ASD-like behaviours. Your child does not need a formal ASD diagnosis to join.Your relationship with your partnerRelationships Australia is a national organisation that provides relationship support services such as counselling, dispute resolution and relationship skills seminars. Your other childrenSiblings Australia is a national organisation that offers a range of services for siblings of children with special needs. These services include workshops, print and web resources, and networking opportunities for families across Australia.Support for youRespiteThe Commonwealth Carelink Centre Program provides information for carers. The Carelink Services Directory will help you find Carelink Centres and related services in your area. Alternatively, phone 1800 052 222 to talk to your nearest Commonwealth Carelink Centre.National Carer Counselling ProgramThe National Carer Counselling Program (NCCP) is delivered by the carers association in each state and territory, and is managed by Carers Australia. Further information is available from your state or territory carers association on 1800 242 636.Stress, anxiety and depression: GP supportUse My Neighbourhood to locate GPs in your local area.ASD family support groups and forumsContact your state autism association and local autism advisor for details of support groups in your area.Online support groups and forums can also be a convenient way to meet others and share ideas and support. Visit:the Raising Children forum for parents of children with ASDAutism Spectrum Australia forums. Disability support organisationsNT Aged and Disability Services provides a range of support and services for children with a disability and their families. Phone 1800 139 656.Carers Northern Territory can provide information and respite. Phone 1800 242 636 (freecall).Family and Community ServicesThe Home and Community Care Program (HACC) provides community care services to people with disabilities and their carers. Your local GP or municipal council might be able to help with information about this and other programs in your area.HelplinesParentline is a 24-hour, confidential telephone counselling service that provides professional counselling and support for parents and carers: 13 20 55.Lifeline provides 24-hour telephone counselling: 131 114.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightYou and your family: help and supportHelp and supportread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know120101RightHelping your child: child care and early learningChild care and early learningread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know120101RightHelping your child: going to schoolGoing to schoolread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know120101Right00yes1010000000001000yes00Family LifeFamily LifeVisit our ASD forum to share your stories, advice and support with other parents of a child with autism spectrum disorder.Autism spectrum disorder and family relationshipsGood family relationships are very important in families with children with ASD. Positive relationships help you support each other, deal with challenges, and fully appreciate the contributions that everyone makes to your family.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00yes10yes00ASD Health & Daily CareHealth & Daily CarePromoting good sleep habitsChildren with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) need as much sleep as other children. But they can sometimes have trouble with healthy sleep habits. You can improve the sleep of your child with ASD by working on regular sleep cycles, positive bedtime routines, and appropriate bedtimes.read the full articleDealing with sleep difficultiesMany babies and children have sleep difficulties, especially with settling and night waking. In children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), these problems can be more severe than in other children. You can manage and overcome many sleep difficulties in your child with ASD using common behaviour strategies.read the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightyes00yes00yes00100000favouritessub00View Favourites/favourites.aspx01forumsub00Discussion forums/forum01booksub00Make a Book/booklist.aspx01myneighsub00My Neighourhood/map.aspx01videossub00VideosParenting videosVideosA gallery of videos of parent stories, information and demonstrations on important parenting issues.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Right00Grown-ups VideosParenting videos on baby and child careGrown-upsA gallery of videos and film clips in which parents, mums and dads share their experiences of raising children and important parenting issues.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowIn these videos, parents share their experiences of raising children – from parenting as a single mother, giving dads a go, coping after separation, and much more. We also feature information about managing finances, child care and playgroups, postnatal depression and other important parenting issues.121101Right00Newborns VideosNewbornsA gallery of videos and film clips in which parents, mums and dads share their experiences of caring for newborns and discuss important parenting issues.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowIn these videos, parents share their experiences of loving and caring for their newborns. Experts talk about newborn health and development. You can also see practical demonstrations of newborn bathing, dressing, breastfeeding and much more.121101Right00Babies VideosBaby care, health care and feeding videosBabiesA gallery of videos and film clips in which parents, mums and dads share their experiences of caring for babies and discuss important parenting issues.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowIn these videos, parents share their experiences of loving and caring for their babies. Experts talk about baby health and development. You can also see practical demonstrations of first aid, baby feeding and sleeping, and much more.121101Right00Toddlers VideosToddlersA gallery of videos and film clips in which parents, mums and dads share their experiences of raising toddlers and important parenting issues.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowIn these videos, parents share their experiences of loving and caring for their toddlers. Experts talk about toddler health and nutrition. You can also see practical demonstrations of first aid, safety around the home, positive behaviour strategies, and much more.121101Right00Preschoolers VideosPreschoolersA gallery of videos and film clips in which parents, mums and dads share their experiences of raising preschool-age children and discuss important parenting issues.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowIn these videos, parents share their experiences of loving and caring for their preschoolers. Experts talk about preschooler health and nutrition. You can also see practical demonstrations of first aid, eating strategies, positive behaviour techniques, and much more.121101Right00School Age VideosSchool ageA gallery of videos and film clips in which parents, mums and dads share their experiences of raising school-age children and discuss important parenting issues.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowIn these videos, parents share their experiences of loving and caring for their school-age children. Experts talk about school-age health and nutrition. You can also see practical demonstrations of first aid, eating strategies, positive behaviour techniques, and much more.121101Right00Teenagers VideosTeenagersA gallery of videos and film clips in which parents and teenagers share their experiences and discuss important issues, such as bullying, independence, peer pressure and money.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowIn these videos, parents and teenagers share their experiences and discuss important issues such as bullying, independence, peer pressure, technology use, and money. Experts talk about problem-solving, tricky conversations, family meetings, building confidence and problems at school.121101Rightvideossub00Children with a Disability VideosChildren with a disabilityA gallery of videos in which parents share their experiences of raising children with a disability and discuss important parenting issues.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowIn these videos, parents share their experiences of raising children with a disability. They discuss getting a diagnosis, finding support, education options, creating a positive family life, and much more.121101Rightvideossub00Children with Autism VideosChildren with autismA gallery of videos in which parents share their experiences of raising children with autism spectrum disorder and discuss important parenting issues.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowIn these videos, parents share their experiences of raising children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). They discuss early signs of ASD, getting a diagnosis, finding support, intervention options, creating a positive family life, and much more.121101Rightvideossub00Other Languages VideosParenting videos in languages other than English (LOTE)Other languagesA gallery of parenting videos in in Auslan and languages other than English (LOTE) for non-English speaking parents or those with English as a second language.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowThis selection of parenting videos is available in 12 languages other than English (LOTE), and in Auslan (provided by Vicdeaf, the Victorian Deaf Society). Select the video you want to watch, then choose your language from the menu on the video page.141101LOTE, non-English speaking, English as a second language, different culture, non-AustralianRightvideossub10subscribesub00Subscribe/subscribe.aspx01Tools & ActivitiesTools & ActivitiesSing to your child using our popular Baby Karaoke, read our child-friendly reviews of current movies or have fun with a range of online activities.read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Right00Baby KaraokeNursery rhymes & songs for babyBaby KaraokeAn interactive features that reminds you of the words and tune of popular children's songs and nursery rhymes. Favourites such as Baa Baa Black Sheep, Rock-a-Bye Baby and Old MacDonald are included. Requires the Flash Player plugin.Our popular Baby Karaoke is now available as a free iPhone app! With the mobile version of Baby Karaoke, you can sing with your child in the car, on holidays, waiting at the dentist, or under the blanket on a rainy day. Download your FREE Baby Karaoke iPhone app now!Acknowledgements Baby Karaoke was produced in association with Don Spencer and the Australian Children's Music Foundation. Additional songs – Composer/arranger: Dave Kelly; singer: Aviva Sheb'a; musicians: Jens Birchall, Dave Kelly, Leslie Marsh; engineer: Cat Coleman; studio: Megaphon Studios. Children of the Dreaming and Native Animal Song were written and performed by Mereki.read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Child Music, Children’s music, children music, kids music, children karaoke, kids karaoke, child karaokeRight00Talking to Teens interactive guideTalking to teens interactive guideTalking to teens interactive guideAn interactive feature showing some tricky parent and teen situations and exploring how different approaches to communicating with teenagers can get different results. Requires the Flash Player plugin. More to exploreThese short videos demonstrate how parents might handle various issues with teenagers.Family meetingsProblem-solvingTricky conversationsChanging family rulesDescriptive praiseMore to exploreThese short videos demonstrate how parents might handle various issues with teenagers.Family meetingsProblem-solvingTricky conversationsChanging family rulesDescriptive praise read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Righttoolssub0000Parenting in PicturesParenting in PicturesParenting in Pictures provides step-by-step guides to essential baby and child care techniques such as breastfeeding, bathing, brushing teeth and changing nappies, and teen topics such as cyberbullying.read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Right0000Parenting in pictures: babiesBabiesParenting in Pictures provides step-by-step guides to essential baby care techniques such as breastfeeding, bathing, and changing nappies.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121111Right00Parenting in Pictures: child and teensTeen and child care guides with picturesChild & teensParenting in Pictures provides step-by-step guides to essential child care techniques and topics such as CPR and brushing teeth, and teen topics such as sleep habits and cyberbullying.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Right00Parenting in Pictures: recipes and healthy eatingRecipesParenting in Pictures provides step-by-step guides to healthy eating, food portions and meal ideas.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Right00A-Z Movie ReviewsA-Z Movie ReviewsOur Movie Reviews section provides recommendations, reviews and easy-to-understand classifications for the latest children’s movies.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you knowOur Movie ReviewsOur Movie Reviews section provides recommendations, reviews and easy-to-understand classifications for the latest children’s movies. The reviews focus on ensuring that the content of the movie is suitable to your child’s level of maturity and understanding.The content in this section was produced in partnership with Young Media Australia. 12More to exploreWeb links1101Lefttoolssub10toolssub00raisingchildren.tv.TVread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know12View film clips on:What About Me?0000/order_the_dvd/order_the_dvd.htmlRightView ClipsRaising Children Network DVD video selectionView ClipsView a selection of highlights and videos from the Raising Children Network DVD.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightrcntv00rcntv00rcntv00rcntv00rcntv00rcntv00rcntv00Order the DVDOrder the Raising Children parenting DVDOrder the DVDAll the basics that make parenting easierThe Raising Children DVD is a complete guide to parenting from birth to five. It features five hours of expert information, tips and strategies from other parents to help you feel like a parenting pro.The DVD will help give your child the best start in life and, best of all, it's free to all Australian parents!How to order your free DVD If you are an Australian parent, order your free DVD with free postage (limit of one DVD per address). Simply email rcdvd@parentingrc.org.au, including your postal address and youngest child’s date of birth*.Parenting services and other organisations can order the DVD for $14.95. Order online now. (Note: bulk orders of free DVDs on behalf of parents cannot be processed.)Overseas orders For international orders (outside Australia), please email us at rcdvd@parentingrc.org.au. Note: the Raising Children DVD is PAL formatted, so it won’t play in NTSC-only players common in the US and Japan. There are no ‘region’ restrictions, so it’s playable in all regions in PAL-enabled players.* Date of birth is required for internal reporting purposes only. What’s been said‘I wish we had received this DVD when we had our first baby’Mother of three‘This DVD will be a godsend’Father of one‘It covers such a wealth of topics in such an interactive manner, it keeps you captivated as you watch’Health educator, PhD11rcntv00rcntv10Raising Children DVD - Terms of UseTerms and ConditionsTerms and Conditions of UseWARNING. Information provided in this DVD does not replace qualified medical advice. Always consult a medical practitioner if you have any queries or concerns.  The Australian Government, the Raising Children Network and Smart Population Foundation, our contributors and agents, cannot accept liability for any resulting loss or damage suffered by a viewer or any other person.  All care has been taken to provide accurate and safe information from reliable sources but this information should not be relied upon as a substitute for individual professional advice.Material content in this program is reviewed by an independent expert panel convened by the Raising Children Network and is not influenced by sponsors or funding bodies.These terms and conditions of use form an agreement between you and the Raising Children Network (RCN) and Smart Population Foundation (SPF).  The terms and conditions of use may change from time to time, so please re-visit every so often. Note that we are not required by law to contact you to inform you of changes. Please contact us if you have any questions about these terms and conditions of use.DVD compatibilityPurchasingAustralian deliveryInternational deliveryExchangesCancelling your orderChanging your orderDisclaimerPersonal information and your privacyFeedbackComplaintsCopyrightDVD compatibilityThe Raising Children DVD is a PAL formatted DVD and therefore will not play in NTSC-only DVD players standard in the US and Japan. If you live in the United States or Japan, please double check whether your DVD player can play a PAL formatted program as we cannot process refunds. If you receive a disk that doesn't work, all we can do is send you another disk.Purchasing the DVDThe published price is in Australian dollars and includes GST, but excludes packaging and posting.  Only Visa and Mastercard credit cards are accepted. There are no refunds possible. Please see Exchanges.Payment declines If you receive a message that we were unable to authorize or charge your credit card, please check with the issuing bank for your card. Credit cards may be declined for a variety of reasons, such as a technical error during processing, and we do not have access to further information.Australian deliveryAll orders should include a daytime delivery address and contact details. Please allow up to 14 business days for delivery of your ordered DVD within Australia. For overseas purchases, deliveries may take up to 30 days, as they are sent by Australia Post Airmail. Unforeseen supply problems or unexpected demand may occasionally result in stock being unavailable.  Should there be undue delay in dispatching your order, we will contact you to advise you of the reason for the delay.International deliveryThe delivery of international airmail orders are reliant on overseas postal services.  We will provide as much assistance as possible in tracing misdirected items but cannot be responsible for items lost by overseas postal services. For expedited delivery via international courier, please contact us by email.Additional identification Some international orders may require additional identification before being processed. The requirement of this information may affect estimated delivery times. RCN reserves the right to request additional identification prior to processing orders originating outside Australia.Customs and international duty For international orders, the Australian Goods & Services Tax (GST) component of the purchase price is reclassified as a special handling fee, so the price remains the same as the stated price. Your order may be subject to local customs duties and/or local taxes in the country of destination. Please check with your local authority to ascertain applicable rates. Any additional charge must be borne by the recipient in the destination country and may require manual clearing of customs.ExchangesIf you believe your DVD to be faulty, we will gladly replace it if you can return it to us with a note to explain the fault within 60 days of receipt.  Please return your DVD to: Suite 1.03, 46A Macleay Street, Potts Point, NSW 2011. DVD purchases are non-refundable.Overseas exchanges Please contact us by email prior to returning the DVD.Cancelling your orderYou may cancel your order only before confirming your online payment. If your order has already entered the payment process, it cannot be cancelled. Please call +61 2 9007 5848 or email us if you are having difficulty.Changing your orderChanges to orders may be made by calling +61 2 9007 5848. Please note, changes to shipping and payment information may only be made IF the order has not yet entered the shipping process.IndemnityYou indemnify Raising Children Network (Australia) Ltd and Smart Population Foundation (SPF) against each claim, action, proceeding, judgment, damage, loss, expense or liability incurred or suffered by, or brought, made or recovered against us or the organisations in the consortium in connection with any breach by you of these terms of use.Any legal issues arising in relation to the use of the DVD will be dealt with under the laws of New South Wales, Australia. Illegal activity under those laws will be a violation of these terms, but as the DVD is accessible worldwide you should be aware that you could be prosecuted under the laws of other jurisdictions too.Australian law There are a number of Australian laws in pertaining to fair trading and privacy including the Trade Practices Act 1974 and the Commonwealth Privacy Act 1988 (with Amendments in 2000). For more information on Australian legislation please visit  http://www.scaleplus.law.gov.au/browse.htm.Personal information and your privacyWe have a privacy policy that explains how we will treat your personal information in compliance with the Privacy Act 1988. You supply ‘personal information’ to us when you fill in an online order form or email us. The personal information we collect is used to fulfil your order. We will never give your personal information to any company or individual for commercial purposes.If you have selected to participate in feedback or research to assist us in improving information service and content, then you contact details will be used to provide you with the opportunity to participate in that process.FeedbackWe would welcome your feedback on this DVD. Please email us or write to us using the contact information presented on this page.Complaints or requestsYour rights are taken seriously by our team. If you have a complaint about the Raising Children DVD, please contact us explaining what you are concerned about and what steps, if any, you have taken to resolve the issue.You can either send an email or write a letter to:Raising Children DVD Customer Service Officer Suite 1.03, 46A Macleay Street,Potts Point NSW 2011 AustraliaCopyright ©2007 Smart Population Foundation Limited.Smart Population Foundation reserves all intellectual property rights, including copyright and trademarks in the Raising Children DVD.It is illegal to copy this DVD.Requests and enquiries concerning reproduction and rights should be addressed to the Raising Children DVD Rights Management Officer at Suite 1.03, 46A Macleay Street, Potts Point, NSW 2011 Australia.Any income derived from the sale of Raising Children DVD is reinvested into the non-profit objectives of the Raising Children Network. Thank you for your support.By ordering the Raising Children DVD, you are accepting the items described in these terms and conditions.©2007 Smart Population Foundation. All rights reserved.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightRaising Children DVD - Privacy PolicyPrivacy PolicySmart Population Foundation (SPF), and Raising Children Network (RCN), has a privacy policy that explains how we will treat your personal information in compliance with the Privacy Act 1988. You supply ‘personal information’ to us when you fill in an online order form or email us.The personal information we collect is used to fulfil your order. We will never give your personal information to any company or individual for commercial purposes.If you have selected to participate in feedback or research to assist us in improving information service and content, then your contact details will be used to provide you with the opportunity to participate in that process.If you have any questions about your privacy, please email us or contact:RC DVD Customer Service OfficerSmart Population FoundationPO BOX 65DarlinghurstNSW 2010Australiaread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightContact UsContact UsRaising Children DVD teamFor enquiries, please email or phone (02) 9007 5848.Suite 1.03, 46a Macleay St Potts Point, NSW 2011 Australia read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Rightrcntv10azsub00A-Z Power Search/a_z.aspx010000About UsAbout UsAn overview of the Raising Children Network which includes a consortium of early childhood agencies, the Australian Government, experts and other industry partners.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Right00PhilosophyPhilosophy of our websitePhilosophyOur approachWho this website is forWhere our content comes fromWriting styleConsumer inputFathersFinding information quicklyAddressing the needs of users with low literacyAccommodating cultural diversityOur approachChildren are as individual and as different as their parents, and making decisions about what’s best for raising children is intensely personal. There are some useful universal principles for everyone, but the ‘right’ solution frequently changes from situation to situation. We see our role as providing information that can help parents with the day-to-day decisions of raising children, and to also help parents and carers look after their own needs. We believe that positive outcomes can be achieved when parents have access to information based on the best science in parenting and child health and development. We find and translate this science into everyday language so parents can understand and use it in a way that works for them.  We believe that parent engagement is enhanced when we explain the logic and science behind the information we present. To create our content, we collaborate with top Australian and international experts, using a rigorous quality-control process to ensure the information we present is valid and reliable.We believe that parents are best placed to decide what is right for their children and family based on their own values, circumstances and lifestyle. We believe that parents can handle the truth, and if there is complexity, uncertainty or controversy regarding any topic, we will share that with parents. Where the science is unclear, or where there is evidence for more than one approach to an issue, we will provide information about the different options and their risks and benefits. We will not tell parents what to do, but will offer detailed information on how to implement a particular chosen strategy.
 
We cater for everybody, from casual browsers to those with an urgent problem to solve. By employing effective communication tools and behaviour-change science, we try to make it easier for parents and others who raise children to understand, remember and use beneficial information and ideas. We know that learning and health outcomes are much better and more effective if the individual is involved in the process (either by driving it with assistance from a professional, or by understanding the ‘whys’ behind the information or treatment). An informed population is a healthier population.
 
We believe in supporting the professionals and organisations throughout the community who have contact with families and children: not only those professionals and agencies who have a clear mandate to support families, but also those who are well placed in the community to make the lives of parents and children easier and more enjoyable – people such as employers, business, and community groups. Who this website is forThis is a website for Australian mothers, fathers, grandparents and anyone else who has responsibility for the care of children. We aim to meet the information needs of a wide range of users, including those who are just curious, those who are looking for assistance with particular problems or issues, and the users who want to explore the science behind modern thinking on the care of children. 
In addition to being a source of information for parents, we aim to offer personal support by helping to connect people through our forums. The groundbreaking My Neighbourhood feature on this site also gives users the ability to connect with others in their own locations.
 
This is also a website for the wide range of professionals and agencies who work with parents every day – general practitioners, maternal and child health nurses, child care workers, preschool teachers, school teachers, social workers, psychologists and so on. Professionals can refer parents to the site, or download and distribute its information to the parents they are working with.
 
Finally, we believe that businesses and community organisations can be an important part of the fabric of parent support in our community. We are building an information base that will assist employers, sports clubs, church groups and others to understand the needs of parents, and to support organisations in their aspirations to become more family-friendly. Where our content comes fromWe write and produce our own content, and also source content from others. We prefer to use or adapt existing high-quality content produced by a third party, then fill gaps with new content that is innovative in scope, style and design. We believe online users feel safe and supported when content has a consistent look and feel and is in keeping with our overall philosophy on tone and style.
 
We have established close relationships with a number of highly respected content partners. As our site develops, we will continue to welcome opportunities to work in partnership with expert individuals and organisations to bring quality, science-based parenting information to the community.
 
Unsolicited third party content may be considered if it is consistent with the aims of the site, fits within the information framework and passes our quality assessment processes.Writing styleOur writing embodies the philosophy of giving parents information to make their own decisions. We provide information and tools for parents, not rules about what they should and should not do.We have set ourselves a high bar for our content. We want to present content that is:realistic, with an emphasis on providing simple and practical parenting tipsrespectful, by supporting parents to make their own decisions (we will not tell parents what to value or what to do)accepting, by acknowledging and validating the diverse views held by parents, and recognising that parents endeavour to do their best, sometimes under difficult circumstancespositive, by conveying optimism and a belief that parents can bring about positive change in their lives and the lives of their childrencollaborative, in that it begins with our readers in mind and actively seeks to use their feedback.On the technical side, research has shown that people read differently on the web – most scan pages rather than read word for word (Morkes & Nielsen, 1997). Because of this, we aim to build text that is concise, scannable and objective, and to exploit the linking and interactive capacities of internet-based material.Consumer inputWe will use a comprehensive marketing research project to test topics, relevance, style, tone and format of content. In addition, a rolling program of consumer consultation and testing will be used to ensure relevance, clarity and appropriateness of selected content.FathersTraditionally, parenting information and support has not been father-friendly or inclusive, but research has shown that father involvement in parenting has substantial benefits for children, women and families in general. We will promote engagement with fathers, endeavour to develop information and approaches that attract fathers to our website, and aim to meet their specific information needs.Finding information quicklyModern parents are under time pressure. We cater for the needs of parents who are time-poor by implementing the following tools: simple and user-friendly navigation, powerful search tools, information that highlights the most important messages, and support tools such as an instant glossary for technical terms and frequently used key concepts.Addressing the needs of users with low literacyWe acknowledge that many members of the wider community have limited literacy skills, so we have developed a wide range of online material to cater for all levels of literacy. 
 
We aim to ensure that core parenting and child health information is presented in plain English. We also utilise a range of technical solutions to assist users, such as keeping information succinct, prioritising information on the page, and by using a simple and intuitive navigation system. We have also developed graphic rich information resources for those who prefer not to – or who are unable to – read English.Accommodating cultural diversityAustralia is a culturally diverse country – its inhabitants speak over 200 languages, including over 45 Indigenous languages. Fifteen percent of the population speak a language other than English.
 
In recognition of this, we implement reasonable, cost-effective strategies that allow the broadest possible audience to access our content.
 
Our approach to cultural and linguistic diversity (CALD) is to:recognise the role of culture in parenting practices, simultaneously reinforcing the universal nature of much of the parenting experience (regardless of cultural origin, we share the experience of raising humans)acknowledge the cultural relativity of all parenting information, including the information provided on this websitesupport the right of parents to accept or reject information based on their values and beliefs (through offering choices and avoiding prescriptive advice)write for the broadest possible audience, and to avoid unintentional cultural barriers in our language where possibleuse ethnically diverse images and parent stories that reflect the cultural diversity of all Australian familiessupport a range of media on the site (such as graphic-rich media)support practitioners in working with CALD familiesprovide links to existing high-quality translated information on government websitestranslate English-language content in Parenting in Picturesprovide information for parenting practitioners about working cross-culturally.ControversyWe acknowledge that many parenting and child health and development issues can be controversial. Community members have a wide range of views on what is and isn’t appropriate parenting, and there can often be disagreement among even researchers and practitioners.
 
Our management of controversial issues will be guided by two key principles: the strength of the scientific evidence, and the need for balance. 
 
Our approach to potentially controversial issues is to:Acknowledge the controversy.If there are scientifically valid arguments on both sides of a controversial topic, we will present both sides of the argument and allow the reader to make their own decision.Our Scientific Advisory Board will help us clarify the science on a specific issue (i.e. advise us on what is and is not known), alert us to recent or seminal research that should be taken into account, propose options to be presented, and advise on the strength or weight to be given to any specific recommendations or advice.read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Right00Why use this website?Why use this website?An overview of the key features of the Raising Children website.On the Raising Children website, parents will find reliable and scientifically validated information and resources to support them in the day-to-day work of raising children and looking after their own needs. The website is growing all the time and covers a broad range of up-to-date parenting topics.Key offerings on the Raising Children website include:accessible, credible parenting informationopportunities to connect through a national network of support and servicesa wide range of innovative featuresreliable, scientifically validated content.Parenting informationThe Raising Children website offers up-to-date, research-based material on more than 800 topics spanning child development, behaviour, health, nutrition and fitness, play and learning, connecting and communicating, school and education, entertainment and technology, sleep and safety.It covers grown-ups, newborns (0-3 months), babies (3-12 months), toddlers (1-3 years), preschoolers (3-5 years), school-age children (5-9 years), pre-teens (9-11 years), and early teens (12-15 years).Use the website to print step-by-step guides to essential baby care skills such as breastfeeding, bathing and changing nappies.RCN works with peak organisations and incorporates the advice and input of more than 180 experts. It researches and commissions original content, forms partnerships to incorporate quality content produced elsewhere and draws on existing parenting information from many sources.All material has been developed to be engaging and relevant, with a focus on accessibility and reliability.Opportunities to connectThrough the many links, content partners and services listed on the Raising Children website, parents can learn about and connect with each other.Use the website to:join a parenting forumfind services and supportfind your state parenting hotlinefind a referral organisationcheck or print a map of local services, activities and resources.Innovative featuresThe Raising Children website offers a wide range of interactive tools and accessible downloads, such as:the unique Make a Book tool, which allows users to quickly compile, save and print a book of material drawn from the site as a ready-to-use PDFBaby Karaoke, an animated online songbook to help you sing with your childrena comprehensive A-Z Health Reference, offering health information in a searchable and easy-to-read formatthe A-Z Disability Reference, which offers clear explanations of disability-related termsthe A-Z index of autism spectrum disorder therapies, which offers an overview of a range of therapies, including what research says about each one, and the approximate time and costs involved.You can also use the website to:view audio-visual demonstrations of parenting techniquesread parent-friendly movie reviewssave your favourite pages.Reliable, scientific contentAll content on the website has passed through a rigorous quality assessment process developed by the Raising Children Network (RCN) team and the RCN Scientific Advisory Board. The Board is made up of some of Australia's pre-eminent experts in child health and development, and oversees the website’s content development.The quality assessment process ensures that each piece of website content is approved by at least two independent experts for accuracy and validity. A professional web editing team also assesses each piece on its accessibility and communication values to ensure the information is easy to understand, remember and act on.Find out more about Raising Children Network or how to link to us.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Right00AccessibilityAccessibility, translations and BrowseAloudAccessibilityRaising Children Network website offers accessibility solutions including BrowseAloud technology, video transcripts and language translations.The Raising Children Network is continually updating its website to offer a range of accessibility solutions for users.As part of our commitment to the Web Accessibility Guidelines (WCAG) 2.0, we're enhancing our website to make it more accessible to more people.The WCAG 2.0 guidelines aim to improve web accessibility to a wider range of people with disabilities, including blindness and low vision, deafness and hearing loss, learning difficulties, cognitive limitations, limited movement, speech disabilities, photosensitivity and combinations of these.In fitting with these guidelines, we’ve added new features to our site. These include:BrowseAloud technology for those with literacy and learning difficulties or visual impairments – you can learn more about this program on our BrowseAloud pagevideo options, including: transcripts of videos for those with deafness or hearing loss – these are available as PDF downloads from each video’s pagetranslations of videos into Auslan and languages other than English – use the menu available on video pages to choose this option.Ongoing upgrades to the Raising Children website will ensure our site conforms to the timeframes set by the Australian Government.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101RightThe Raising Children Network teamOur teamInformation about the consortium that makes up Raising Children Network and our technical team.The Raising Children Network, incorporating Smart Population Foundation, is a consortium of the Parenting Research Centre and the Murdoch Childrens Research Institute’s Centre for Community Child Health at the Royal Children’s Hospital.Parenting Research CentreContent development, design, online production, communications and stakeholder management The Parenting Research Centre engages in a range of activities to help parents raise children well. Read more about the Parenting Research Centre on this site.Visit the Parenting Research Centre website.Centre for Community Child HealthContent development, project and stakeholder management, evaluation The Centre for Community Child Health (CCCH) has been at the forefront of Australian research into early childhood development and behaviour for over two decades. Read more about Centre for Community Child Health on this site.Visit the Centre for Community Child Health website.Smart Population FoundationRead more about Smart Population Foundation on this site or visit the Smart Population Foundation website.Lateral SystemsWeb development Lateral Systems supplied the content management system and associated development services for the Raising Children Network website. Read more about Lateral Systems on this site.Visit the Lateral Systems website.read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Right00000000PartnersPartnersThis website is the result of ongoing collaboration between the Raising Children Network and our many valued partners who contribute a wide range of resources and expertise to the Raising Children Network.Our Content Partners help us provide parents with reliable and up-to-date information across many subject areas. Our Production Partners allow us to maintain a site based on state-of-the-art web technology that supports interactive tools and multimedia content.read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Right0011Content partners0011Production partners00Sponsorship policySponsorship policyThe Raising Children Network (RCN) has a responsibility to the Australian Government to plan for sustainability of the website. However, our policy is to maintain the integrity of the website and the objective nature of its content.  Accordingly, sponsorship will be scrutinised to avoid relationships with commercial organisations whose primary marketing targets are parents and children. Currently all of our relationships are with either technical, media or content partners.When will we consider sponsorship?Sponsorship will be considered if it:supports the development and maintenance of raisingchildren.net.aupromotes and raises awareness of the websiteprovides suitable content for the websitehelps sustain the site beyond 2014, the funding period to which the Australian Government is currently committed.Sponsorship will not be considered if it:dilutes the effectiveness of the website or the messages that underpin it, orcompromises the integrity of the website.Guiding principlesIn judging the suitability of a sponsor and/or sponsorship message, RCN is guided by the following principles:The sponsor is: not involved in advertising or promoting tobacco, alcohol and/or any other product(s) considered to be harmful to children and parents. (An advertising agency that may be indirectly involved in promoting such products as part of its core business of advertising may constitute an exception)not in direct competition with RCN or in conflict with RCN’s mission and philosophy.The sponsorship arrangement does not involve the advertising of the sponsor’s goods or services to parents and/or children. Promotion of the sponsorship demonstrates honesty and integrity.Sponsors are not offered and do not receive returns greater than the level of sponsorship. RCN consortium members determine and agree on what benefit is reasonable for the sponsors to expect, consistent with the Sponsorship Policy.The sponsorship agreement withstands scrutiny by the Australian Government and the Australian public.The sponsorship does not and will not dilute the effectiveness of the RCN website or its messages. Sponsors cannot influence the messages of RCN. The sponsorship does not and will not bring adverse publicity to RCN and its services and projects.Employees of RCN and employees of RCN consortium members do not benefit personally from sponsorship arrangements.RCN will avoid sponsors whose primary marketing target is parents, for example those who sell products for children, such as nappies, baby food, toys, electronic games, shoes or clothes.read the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Right00Experts & AdvisorsExperts & AdvisorsContent for the Raising Children website is based on research and expertise.Our content development team works with a Scientific Advisory Board and more than 120 expert reviewers from across Australia to ensure relevant, researched and accurate information is published on this website.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Right100000000000000000000000000000000000Contact Us/contact.aspx01Site MapRaising Children Network site mapSite MapThe Raising Children Network site map links to the various sections of the website. it includes links to tools, age-related content and A-Z references.GROWN-UPSBeing a ParentPregnancy Looking After Yourself Family ManagementWork & Child CareServices & SupportFathersParenting After SeparationWorking With ParentsNEWBORNSBehaviourConnecting & CommunicatingDevelopmentHealth & Daily CareNutritionPlay & LearningSafetySleepBABIESBehaviourConnecting & CommunicatingDevelopmentHealth & Daily CareNutritionPlay & LearningSafetySleepTODDLERSBehaviourConnecting & CommunicatingDevelopmentHealth & Daily CareNutritionPlay & LearningSafetySleepPRESCHOOLERSBehaviourConnecting & CommunicatingDevelopmentHealth & Daily CareNutritionPlay & LearningSafetySleepSCHOOL AGE BehaviourConnecting & CommunicatingDevelopmentHealth & Daily CareNutritionPlay & LearningSafetySleepPRE-TEENSBehaviourCommunicating & RelationshipsDevelopmentEntertainment & TechnologyHealth & WellbeingSchool & EducationEARLY TEENSBehaviourCommunicating & RelationshipsDevelopmentEntertainment & TechnologyHealth & WellbeingSchool & EducationSPECIAL NEEDSChildren with Autism Spectrum DisorderChildren with a DisabilityFAVOURITESFORUMSMAKE A BOOK Newborns BabiesToddlers PreschoolersSchool AgeWhat About Me and Us?Family RecipesMY NEIGHBOURHOODVIDEOSSUBSCRIBETOOLS & ACTIVITIESBaby KaraokeParenting in PicturesMovie reviewsABOUT US Philosophy Why Use This Website? Experts & Advisors  Our Team  Partners Sponsorship PolicyCONTACT USTERMS OF USEPRIVACYMEDIA ROOM  Media Releases For Your NewsletterSurveysDownloads AlertsLINK TO USFEEDBACKSEARCHA-Z Power SearchA-Z Health ReferenceA-Z Disability ReferenceA-Z Autism Therapies Referenceread the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Right0000Terms & Conditions of UseTerms & Conditions of UseThis page specifies the Terms & Conditions of Use applicable to the Raising Children website.Welcome. You may be using this website to find balanced information about parenting, to find out about others’ experiences, or to be part of an online community.These terms and conditions of use form an agreement between you and Raising Children Network (Australia) Ltd, (RCN), whether you are posting a message on a forum, or simply browsing the website. They will inform you about your rights and obligations in using this website.The terms and conditions of use may change from time to time, so please re-visit every so often. Note that we are not required by law to contact you to inform you of changes. Please contact us if you have any questions about these terms and conditions of use.DisclaimerPersonal information and your privacyComplaintsTo participate in a forumRCN reserves rightsCopyright and acknowledgementsDisclaimerWarning: This website and the information it contains is not intended as a substitute for professional consultation with a qualified practitioner.Before relying on any information you find on raisingchildren.net.au, use common sense, make your own enquiries and seek professional opinion.Material in this publication is made available on the understanding that neither the Raising Children Network nor Commonwealth is providing professional advice. Before relying on any of the material in this site, readers should obtain appropriate professional advice. Views and recommendations of third parties, which are also included in this site, do not necessarily reflect the views of the Raising Children Network or the Commonwealth, or indicate a commitment to a particular course of action.Neither the Raising Children Network nor the Commonwealth accepts any responsibility for the accuracy or completeness of any material contained in this site. Additionally, the Raising Children Network and the Commonwealth disclaim all liability to any person relying wholly or partially upon any information presented in this site in respect of anything, and the consequences of anything, done or omitted to be done.You indemnify RCN and the organisations in the Raising Children Network (Australia) Ltd consortium against each claim, action, proceeding, judgment, damage, loss, expense or liability incurred or suffered by, or brought, made or recovered against us or the organisations in the consortium in connection with any breach by you of these terms of use.The information provided in this website is intended for an Australian audience.If you use another site linked from this site:you do so at your own risk and acknowledge that we do not control or endorse those websites or their content;you will no longer be subject to the terms and conditions of this site but may be subject to the terms and conditions of the linked site.If you are from a particular cultural and/or religious background, you may be offended by some of the information and/or graphics found on this or linked sites.RCN endeavours to provide information sourced from reliable research based on peer reviewed journals, recognised texts, or government publications and therapeutic approaches that have demonstrated efficacy. The content on this site is periodically updated and reviewed for quality assurance using an editorial board and a review panel drawn from national and international expertise in early childhood, health and parenting. The authors reserve the right to modify the content of the website at any time.Any legal issues arising in relation to the use of this website will be dealt with under the laws of New South Wales, Australia. Illegal activity under those laws will be a violation of these terms, but as the website and the forums are accessible worldwide you should be aware that you could be prosecuted under the laws of other jurisdictions too.Personal information and your privacyRCN has a privacy policy that explains how we will treat your personal information in compliance with the Privacy Act 1988. You supply ‘personal information’ to us when you fill in an online registration form, subscribe to one of our email newsletters, submit postings on a forum, complete a survey or poll, provide feedback on our content, submit parenting tips or email us.The personal information we collect from your contributions to forums is used to administer the message boards, send you a password, contact you about postings, and keep in touch with you. When you register you give us a licence to deal with the postings as necessary to perform these technical and administrative functions. We will never give your personal information to any company or individual for commercial purposes.ComplaintsYour rights are taken seriously by our team. If you think your rights have been breached, or if you have a complaint about RCN website or forums, contact us so that we can investigate the issue and make sure it is resolved. Please write to the Complaints Officer explaining what you are concerned about and what steps, if any, you have taken to resolve the issue.You can either send an email to complaints or write a letter to:Raising Children Network Complaints Officer 6th Floor SE Building Royal Children’s Hospital Flemington Road Parkville Victoria 3052 AustraliaTo participate in a ForumTo make a ‘posting’ (that is, any contribution to a forum, including private messages, usernames and user profiles) you must register. To register, you have to provide personal information such as your name, postcode and email address. If you do not want to provide these details, you will be able to read forums but not create or reply to posts.These terms of use, including the disclaimer, applies to use of forums.Forum participants agree to follow the following guidelines for use and accept that they are liable for the content of their posts.  RCN reserves the right to remove any material posted on a forum that is considered dangerous or harmful, and to terminate your participation in a forum at our discretion by cancelling your registration if you disregard the terms and conditions of use, which form a legal agreement between you and Raising Children Network (Australia) Ltd when you access the raisingchildren.net.au forums.Don’t advertise. This website does not endorse products or services. RCN is not here to promote private or commercial interests; it has been created to provide unbiased, reliable information and social support for people in our community caring for children. Do not undermine this mission by advertising.Be respectful at all times. You may have strong feelings about a topic, and you may encounter different or challenging ideas, but show respect to all users of these forums and avoid being rude, abusive or dismissive of others. This includes respect for their race, religion, political views, and other beliefs and experiences. It is illegal to make racist, sexist or homophobic comments, harass or 'stalk' any person, or make defamatory statements or personal attacks on another person. A defamatory statement about a person is one which would make others think less of that person.Keep in mind. RCN reserves the right to omit any material that it determines to be in bad taste.These forums are not a source of professional support – emergency or otherwise – for anyone experiencing personal difficulties or in need of special assistance. Such difficulties are best discussed with a professional or healthcare practitioner. Don’t impersonate someone else. You must not pretend to be another person when posting a message , but it is fine to use an internet ‘handle’, which is a label that identifies you without using your real name.Be accurate and truthful about your experiences.PG rating. Avoid swearing as it offends a lot of people. We want everyone to feel welcome, so be as colourful as you like, but keep it clean.You must not copy material belonging to a third party, or in any way infringe others’ intellectual property rights; otherwise, you may expose yourself and RCN to legal action. You should use your own words and not copy from books, films, other websites or any other material.Use common sense. Remember you are posting to a public website so be careful not to give out personal details about yourself or anyone else,  Do not post anyone’s email address, phone number, postal address or credit card details on a forum; if you want to exchange personal information, you can use the ‘private message’ function instead.Don’t use a forum to discuss, promote or plan anything illegal.Report a problem. A forum moderator will take appropriate steps to address any dangerous, harmful or unauthorised material posted on a forum, but RCN appreciates your help if you notice a problem before we do. Please help us by selecting the ‘report’ icon and following the prompts.Non-RCN research forum. Researchers and students of non-commercial organisations may recruit for participants in a research project, initiate polls and surveys, or post a link to their own polls and surveys via this forum. Posts must include the name of the principal investigator, the name of any affiliated institution and a statement confirming the research has ethics approval. These posts cannot be used as an opportunity to promote a sponsor of the research.Do not post copyrighted material, or material that you have copied from another source such as published articles, a text book, song lyrics etc.Logins and passwords You may choose a login (user name) and password when you register to use this website and the Forums.  You are responsible for all activity, including the content of any posts, which occurs under your login and password.  Please notify us immediately if you suspect that another person is using your login and password without permission.RCN reserves rightsYour message may be used by RCN. In consideration for permitting you to access and use the information on this website, posting on a raisingchildren.net.au message board or using the ‘Share Your Story’ link gives RCN a non-exclusive, perpetual, irrevocable, royalty-free, worldwide licence to reproduce, communicate, re-publish, edit, adapt or otherwise use your postings as we see fit, including the right to sublicense to others at our discretion. You also give us a licence to deal with the postings as necessary to perform technical, content and administrative functions in running the forums.  This includes any ‘moral rights’ you may have, therefore you consent to RCN editing, modifying or adapting your postings, or combining them with other works or postings to be used at RCN’s discretion as part of these above licenses whether or not you are attributed as the author of the postings. From time to time we may want to highlight a parent story or experience (provided by you by following the “Share Your Story” link or otherwise) and may publish your message elsewhere on the Raising Children Website. In this case, we may attribute authorship with permission, and generally would do so, but we are not obliged to. We will protect your privacy by ensuring that you are not personally identifiable from your posting, unless we obtain your prior written approval. For more information see our privacy policy.Copyright and acknowledgementsRCN reserves all intellectual property rights, including copyright and trade marks in the RCN website.  RCN owns or has licensed from third parties the intellectual property used in this website. You may print single copies of any pages of this website for your own personal and non-commercial use but must not otherwise reproduce any material on this website in any form without permission.Requests and enquiries concerning reproduction and rights should be addressed to the Rights Management Officer at Raising Children Network.Downloadable videosThe Raising Children Network invites organisations and individuals to download and add relevant parenting videos to  their websites free of charge. Each video must not be edited and must appear with the following statement: Sourced from the Raising Children website, Australia's trusted parenting website. For more parenting information, visit www.raisingchildren.net.au.read the full articleread the full articleArticles121001Right00Privacy StatementPrivacyThe Raising Children Network's privacy policy including details on how you can contact the Privacy Officer.The Raising Children Network (RCN) website provides information and services designed for parents, carers and professionals involved in rearing children.This privacy statement applies to the raisingchildren.net.au website only (also accessed via www.raisingchildren.net.au and www.raisingchildren.tv).Your personal information is protected under the Privacy Act 1988. RCN collects personal and sensitive information if you choose to provide it, such as your email address. Your personal information will not be used other than for the purpose that you provide it without your consent.Uses of personal information by RCN may include the provision of services; the development, maintenance and promotion of this website; evaluating RCN services, and conducting approved research. No information that personally identifies you is collected when you simply browse the site.RCN will provide access to, and make corrections to, your personal information at your request, except in the circumstances set out in the Privacy Act 1988.  Personal information will not be disclosed or used for purposes other than the stated uses, functions and activities of RCN, unless the disclosure is required or authorised by law.RCN may disclose non-identifying statistical information collected on this website to the Department of Family and Community Services, to the Australian Council for Educational Research, and to organisations conducting approved research, such as universities and research centres.Non-identifying statistical information collected could include your server address, the top level domain name (such as .gov, .com, .edu), pages accessed or downloaded, search terms used, the date and time of site visits, your operating system (such as Windows) or browser system (such as Internet Explorer), and the site from which you entered the RCN website or to which you exited.If you have any questions about your privacy, please email the Privacy Officer or contact:Raising Children Network Privacy Officer Royal Children’s Hospital Flemington Road Parkville  Victoria  3052 Australia read the full articleread the full articleArticles121001Right00Media ReleasesMedia ReleasesBrowse press releases, PR contacts and media downloads (for example, logos, editorial images) from the Raising Children Network.For media enquiries contact Charissa Feng on +61 3 8660 3594 or 0428 039 265, or email media@raisingchildren.net.au.read the full articleread the full articleArticles12Downloads1101RightMedia RoomMedia RoomDownload logos, artwork and images, read our media releases and grab a latest snippet for your community newsletter.read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Right10Newsletter SnippetsNewsletter snippetsBite-sized snippets of RCN articles that you can cut and paste for your newsletter.Raising Children Network offers high-quality, reliable content,  ready for you to cut and paste into your regular newsletter.Our ready-to-publish newsletter snippets are useful and relevant ‘bites’ of information for parents. They are available free of charge to use in your regular newsletter. Each snippet is a summary of key points from a full-length RCN article from the Raising Children website, perfect for publishing.How to get a newsletter snippetEach article listed at the bottom of this page includes a bite-sized ‘snippet’, or summary, of its content.Select an article from the list below.Click on the ‘Cut and paste for your newsletter’ link at the end of the article.Cut and paste the snippet text from the pop-up window into your document.Please follow the conditions of use below. If you want to replicate an entire article or one that is not on this list, please contact us at newsletter@raisingchildren.net.au.Conditions of use1. Text must not be edited. 2. RCN must be appropriately credited with a byline above the article to read: By Raising Children Network. A credit below the article must read: Sourced from the Raising Children Network’s comprehensive and quality-assured Australian parenting website http://raisingchildren.net.au. 3. Each article is for one-time use, one article at a time. 4. Please send a copy of the published article to Raising Children Network, Attention: Imica Aurora, Parenting Research Centre, Level 5, 232 Victoria Parade, East Melbourne VIC 3002 or newsletter@raisingchildren.net.au. 5. Online newsletters are required to include a direct link to http://raisingchildren.net.au/.You can use our information with confidence that the content is based on the latest scientific research and best professional practice, and has been validated by a comprehensive quality-assurance system.Logos and imagesYou may want to download RCN logos or images to include in your newsletter.We need your feedbackFor our records, and to help us provide the best newsletter content, please let us know which snippet you used, where it will be published and who reads your publication (your audience). 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We prefer displaying the link without the ‘www.’ prefix.Downloads: linking logosread the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Right00We need your feedbackFeedbackTips and information on how to use the features and functionality of the Raising Children Network website.Content to be added hereread the full articleread the full articleArticles121101Rightfeedbacksub00We're a work in progressWe're a work in progressA message from the Raising Children NetworkThis message from the Raising Children Network’s executive members explains that the website is a work-in-progress and how you can provide feedback to help it grow and develop.The Raising Children website was launched in May 2006 after about nine months in the making. While nine months can feel like an eternity to some (especially those who are pregnant!) it’s not a lot of time to develop a truly national, quality-assured, comprehensive parenting website of uncompromising quality.What you see on this website today is where we’re starting from. We would never expect parents to be perfect and we don’t claim that this website is perfect either – at least not on day one. While you use this site over the coming weeks and months, please remember that it’s a work-in-progress. We're proud of what we have achieved so far but we also have a three-year strategy for improvements and developments – and we need your feedback to help us make this website the resource you want it to be.Help us make this website greatIf you see something on the Raising Children website that you like or don’t like, or if you feel that something is missing, please let us know.You can tell us what you think by:Taking the poll on this page Completing our questionnaire – it takes just five minutes Providing feedback or rating specific articles (look for the feedback area at the bottom of most pages) We hope this website makes your role as a parent or carer a little easier, and we look forward to growing with you and your family while you grow with us.Divonne Holmes à Court, Warren Cann and June McLoughlinExecutive Members of the Raising Children NetworkMay 2006 read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Right00How to use the forumsForum guide & helpA guide to using the forums at the Raising Children websiteYou can read the forums (or 'boards') without registering, but if you want to ask or answer any questions ('make posts') you have to register.How to register How to log in How to ask a question How to answer a question How to registerTo register, click on the ‘Register’ link near the top left of the page.Fill in:your username (this is a name you choose – it will be displayed beside every post you make so if you don’t want people to know your real name use a made-up name) your first and last names (these will not be displayed) your postcode (this must be a four-digit number; if you’re from somewhere other than Australia, use 0000) your email address (this will not be displayed; however, remember which email address you use as you will need it to log in) a password (make this up yourself; choose something you can easily remember). You can also use this page to subscribe to our email newsletters about the development of your child. Tick any newsletters you want to subscribe to, tick the box if you want to participate in surveys, then click the ‘Submit’ button.You are now registered.To ask or answer questions you need to log in. How to log inTo log in, click on the ‘Login’ link near the top left of the ‘Forums’ page.Fill in:your email address (the email address you used when you registered) your password (the password you chose when you registered). If you want to be automatically logged in every time you go the site, tick the ‘Remember me’ box. You shouldn’t do this if you’re at a computer that other people use, as they will be able to post using your name. How to ask a questionBefore you ask your question, check to see whether anyone has already answered that question. You could do this by reading whichever forums are relevant to your question. Or, you could search for words in your question: click the ‘search’ link in the top right menu bar of the forums and put in your words.If you can’t find an answer to your question, you need to add a topic.Choose the forum where your question belongs. Click on it. When it opens, you will see a button at the top right hand side of the forum which says ADD TOPIC. Click on it. A new page will open. In the ‘Subject’ line type a name for your question; for example, ‘Two year old won’t sleep’ or ‘Looking for playgroup in Inner Belconnen’ If you want, put a more detailed description of your question in the ‘Description’ box. You don’t have to do this. In the ‘Message’ box, type the text of your question. You can format your text – add bold or italics, or a link to a page – using the formatting keys at the top of the box. These work the same way as formatting text in Word. If you want to check your spelling, click the ‘Spell Check’ button. 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Nam pretium porttitor magna at ultriciesPraesent justo tellus, euismod nec mattis et, dictum a ipsum. Proin faucibus urna ut mauris consectetur gravida. Fusce elementum facilisis velit, non rutrum dolor scelerisque quis. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.Praesent justo tellus, euismod nec mattis et, dictum a ipsum. Proin faucibus urna ut mauris consectetur gravida. Fusce elementum facilisis velit, non rutrum dolor scelerisque quis. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Praesent justo tellus, euismod nec mattis et, dictum a ipsum. Proin faucibus urna ut mauris consectetur gravida. Fusce elementum facilisis velit, non rutrum dolor scelerisque quis. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit..Praesent justo tellus, euismod nec mattis et, dictum a ipsum. Proin faucibus urna ut mauris consectetur gravida. Fusce elementum facilisis velit, non rutrum dolor scelerisque quis. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.Praesent justo tellus, euismod nec mattis et, dictum a ipsum. Proin faucibus urna ut mauris consectetur gravida. Fusce elementum facilisis velit, non rutrum dolor scelerisque quis. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.Praesent justo tellus, euismod nec mattis et, dictum a ipsum. Proin faucibus urna ut mauris consectetur gravida. Fusce elementum facilisis velit, non rutrum dolor scelerisque quis. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.Praesent justo tellus, euismod nec mattis et, dictum a ipsum. Proin faucibus urna ut mauris consectetur gravida. Fusce elementum facilisis velit, non rutrum dolor scelerisque quis. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.Praesent justo tellus, euismod nec mattis et, dictum a ipsum. Proin faucibus urna ut mauris consectetur gravida. Fusce elementum facilisis velit, non rutrum dolor scelerisque quis. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.Praesent justo tellus, euismod nec mattis et, dictum a ipsum. Proin faucibus urna ut mauris consectetur gravida. Fusce elementum facilisis velit, non rutrum dolor scelerisque quis. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articles2/12/20101111read the full articleread the full articleArticlesdid you know121101Right00000000Being an older parentOlder parentsOlder parents000Experiences of an older parent of a young boy; interview with older dad and his son; challenges and benefits of being an older parent.0Green0-100-30The average age of parents increases every year. While older parents may have less physical energy, they often adapt better to being parents than younger people do. Read about one older parent.ProfileSixty-year-old Guy is raising Ishiah, his young 7½-year-old son, alone. Guy and Ishiah live in Rosebank in northern New South Wales.Guy ‘I already had two children from a previous relationship. They are now in their late twenties and early thirties and I have been separated from their mother for many years. Then I had Ishiah when I was 54. His mother and I were in a relationship but it didn’t work out and she left when Ishiah was weaned at around 2¼. Since then she’s had nothing to do with him – we occasionally bump into her because she lives locally, but she has no involvement or influence in his life.‘Leaving like she did made bringing up Ishiah an easy ride for me. Even though it must have been traumatic for her to just detach and leave, she left an uncomplicated situation. I didn’t have to deal with the courts. Owning a home has helped with my situation too. I’ve managed to survive on the single parent's benefit and create a nice home atmosphere for Ishiah without the pressure of having to rent or buy a house. He’s been in a very stress-free environment his whole life and that has resulted in us having a very easy and mature relationship.‘The most difficult thing for me has been accepting the circumstances with his mother. Ultimately I feel happier and stronger for having experienced it. I don’t feel attached to Ishiah’s mother, but I still hold a great deal of love for her. The same goes for Ishiah. He loves his mum heaps, but he is not attached to her. One day when he was 3½ he just skipped into the house and said to himself, ‘I don’t need my mum’. Ever since then he’s had that attitude.‘Even though I’m a fairly healthy sixty-year-old, at the end of the day I don’t have as much energy as a younger father. A younger father might have more physical exuberance to play with his son – wrestling and active games. The perks come with the maturity of life and being at home with one’s self.‘In the end I think my parenting strengths arise from making Ishiah the central focus for all decision making. He has brought my life into a simple focus and caring for him is my priority. Our life is most importantly based around sleep and the healthiest food possible and things generally roll along really well.’RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesCampbell, I. & Charlesworth, S. (2004). Background report: Key work and family trends in Australia. Melbourne: Centre for Applied Social Research (RMIT).Centre of Community Child Health (2004). Parenting information project, vol 2: Literature review. Department of Family and Community Services.Cooney, T.M., Pedersen, F.A., Indelicato, S., & Palkovitz, R. (1993). Timing of fatherhood: Is “on time” optimal? Journal of marriage and the family, 55(1), 205 – 215.Garrison, M.E.B., Blalock, L.B., Zarski, J.J., & Merritt, P.B. (1997). Delayed parenthood: An exploratory study of family functioning. Family relations, 46, 281 – 290.Heath, D. (1994). The impact of delayed fatherhood on the father-child relationship. The Journal of Genetic Psychology, 155(4), 511 – 530.16/5/200616/5/200651101Parenting as a teenagerTeenage parentsTeenage parentspregnancy - teenage mothersadolescents - pregnancy000Experiences of teenage mother with a young girl; interview; challenges, responsibilities and benefits of being a teenage mother; community and family support 0Green0-100-30In 2008, approximately 17 out of every 1000 children were born to teenage mothers between the ages of 15 and 19. Read about one teenage parent and the challenges facing teenage parents all over Australia.ProfileAt a glanceThe challengesFor further helpProfilePippa was 17 when she had Bessie. Her boyfriend then left, and Pippa had to return to work when Bessie was three months old. Pippa is now 25 and Bessie is seven. They live in Melbourne, Victoria.Pippa ‘I’d just broken up from a two-year relationship with Bessie’s father when I found out I was four months pregnant. I was 17 at the time. Although we tried to get back together it just didn’t work, and we didn’t see each other for most of the pregnancy. After Bessie was born her father made contact for the first six months, but after that, he just disappeared. I haven’t seen him since. ‘I had a full-time job when I got pregnant, and three months after Bessie was born I returned to work. I had to. I didn’t have any support from my parents and Bessie went into child care. I’d already been living out of home for a while and my parents freaked out – we didn’t have the best relationship at the time.‘I coped because I had to. I didn’t have much help except from friends, but I didn’t find parenting as difficult as some people made it out to be. The hardest part was dealing with so many different bits of expert advice from books, other parents and so on. Everyone has a different view on how children should be raised and I learnt that you can’t panic – you just have to trust your instincts in the end. Mind you, I think if I had a baby now, I’d be much more stressed than when I had Bessie. When she was a baby and she got sick I’d think, "Oh, she’ll be right" and she always was. I think now I’d be much more aware.‘One of the hardest parts of bringing Bessie up has been dealing with other people being judgemental. I’m aware that at school other parents gossip and I know that Bessie suffers from this. I’ve discussed it with her teacher – the bullying and teasing from other kids. Sometimes I worry about how this is affecting her, but I guess all kids get it in some way at some point in their school lives.‘At the end of the day though, we have a very special relationship. We’re very close and have excellent communication, and Bessie understands that she can talk to me about anything. My relationship with my parents has also improved a lot and they now play an active role in her life, which makes me just so happy.’VIDEOID=5461At a glanceThe teen birthrate is declining: there were 55.5 babies per 1000 teen mothers in 1971, down to 17 in 2008.About 90% of teenage mothers are unmarried, and 60% have no male partner when they give birth.Unsupported teenagers are more likely to have babies with health complications such as low birth weight and prematurity.Getting extra support can help teenage parents manage any academic or behavioural issues their children might have.Research shows that if teenage parents get a chance to continue their education, it will make it easier for them and their childen in the long run.The challengesTeenagers get pregnant for all kinds of reasons, but they’re more likely than older women to fall pregnant because they don’t use birth control (they may think, ‘I’ll never get pregnant’), or because they have romanticised ideas about having a baby.Some teenagers are more likely to have a child than their peers. These include teenagers who:experience regular conflict in their familysuffered violence and sexual abuse in childhoodhad a mother who was a young parenthave unstable housing arrangements have trouble performing at schoolare from a low socioeconomic backgroundhave an absent fatherhave low self-esteem.Being a parent can make it harder to get an education or find a job. Juggling the responsibilities of being a parent with work, school and a social life can be tiring. It can also be very difficult to get child care, and almost impossible to get affordable child care (for more information see Work & Child Care). These difficulties can make it hard to cope financially, and can make parents feel lonely and apart from their family and friends.On the other hand, teenage parents can find they have all the energy in the world to keep up with toddlers. They can also be better than older parents at dealing with the new lifestyle of being a parent; they’re much better at dealing with little or no sleep, for example. But young parents who are still physically developing while pregnant can struggle with sustaining two growing bodies at once.Some teenage parents might feel they’re so busy trying to cope with the rest of their life that they can’t give their children enough attention. Because they might also have to worry about finishing their education, working or finding a job, they might not feel as though they can enjoy their children or feel as satisfied as much as older parents.For further helpIf you’re a teenager and a parent, there are ways to help yourself and your child. Getting support from your family, friends and services in the community can help you cope with being a young parent.See if there’s a way you can finish school if you haven’t already. This might mean studying at night while a partner, friend or parent minds your child. In the long run, having an education will help with your chances of finding a job, and studying can help you to feel less lonely.If you can stay with your parents while your child is young, this may help you deal with the pressures of caring for your child or coping financially. Your parents might also be able to give you some backup when you need it, and even share some tips from when you were a baby.If you’re on your own or living away from your family, find out what sorts of financial support you can get through Centrelink to help with living expenses and rent.Contact your local community centre for support groups for parents. These sorts of groups can provide emotional support as well as information on child development and health care.See if your local council can put you in touch with a counselling service. Counselling can help parents with their own issues as well as those associated with being a parent at a young age.Speak to different experts that you come in contact with – such as your doctor, community health nurse or other experts associated with child care – to learn about creating the best home environment for your child. They can also help you learn about topics such as nutrition, health and emotional development.The government Job Services Australia program can help you find work or training if you’re struggling.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2009). Births, Australia, 2008. Cat. no. 3301.0. Retrieved December 2, 2010, from http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/DetailsPage/3301.02008?OpenDocumentAustralian Institute of Health and Welfare (2009). A picture of Australian children 2009: Parental health issues. (Cat. no. PHE 112). Retrieved 20 November, 2009, from http://www.aihw.gov.au/publications/phe/phe-112-10704/phe-112-10704.pdfCentre of Community Child Health (2004). Parenting information project, vol 2: Literature review. Department of Family and Community Services.Collins, K.C., & Chacko, M.R. (2002). Adolescent parenthood: Role of the paediatrician. Children and Youth Services Review, 15, 295–308.Klein, J.D. (2005). Adolescent pregnancy: Current trends and issues. Pediatrics, 116(1), 281–286.Moore, M.R., & Brooks-Gunn, J. (2002). Adolescent parenthood. In M.H. Bornstein (ed), The handbook of parenting, 3, 173–214.15/5/20063/1/20123/1/2011141111Parenting: myths and factsParenting mythsMyths about parentingParenting - myths aboutParenting - facts about000Being a parent is the most important job you can do in your life. It also lasts a lifetime. It helps to ignore the common myths.0Green0-100-30Being a parent is the most important job you can do in your life. It also lasts a lifetime. It helps to ignore the common myths.I should know all the answers.You don’t have to know everything. No parent has all the answers. There is no such thing as one 'right way' or 'one-style-fits-all' parenting. Parents need to understand and be able to respond to the unique personalities, strengths and vulnerabilities of each child. Have reasonable expectations of yourself. Have confidence in what you do know. It’s OK to say I don’t know. Find out more about the things you feel less confident in.Parenting comes naturally.Every parent has to work it out as they go along. Every parent makes mistakes and learns through experience. Mistakes only count if you keep repeating them. Parenting requires understanding, persistence, imagination, energy, knowledge and patience. And all parents need support.Congratulate yourself on what you are doing well. Accept that there may be things you could do differently or better next time (although you usually only know this by looking back afterwards). Do not be too hard on yourself. Appreciate that parenting has its ups and downs and accept that this is normal.Raising my children is my job.Historically, extended families and neighbourhoods shared the responsibility of caring for children. Today, more than ever before, parents are viewed as solely responsible for raising their children.You may feel judged and alone. Many mothers and fathers do. But if you ask, you will find that many other parents feel exactly the same way! Asking for support is a positive thing to do for you and your child. Seek support from family, friends, community and family support services.Parenting is a community activity – many people play a significant role in children’s lives. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, friends, teachers and neighbours all contribute to and support family life.Try to look after yourself as well as your children.Parenting factsChildren and parents learn together.Children and parents learn from each other.There is no such thing as a perfect parent.There is no such thing as a perfect child.There are many ways to parent. There is no one right way to do it.As a parent, you constantly learn more and more about your children as they change and grow.Your parenting changes with the changing needs of your children.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesReproduced courtesy of Australian Childhood Foundation4/5/20064/5/2006121111Being positive about parentingBeing positiveParenting - focusing on the positiveChildren - their contribution to family life000Your child's contribution to your lifeA guide to focusing on how children enrich your life rather than on what they cost you.0Green0-100-30When you’re a busy parent, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by the demands of daily life. It can help to stop and focus on the positives – the amazing contributions your children make to your life.You probably spend much of your time trying to be a good parent, doing whatever you can for your child while balancing the needs and demands of a busy life.Increasingly, you might be feeling more like a manager – managing a household, managing time, managing a job and managing children’s behaviour.So often today we hear about the high costs of having children. These are usually described as economic, social and career costs. People talk about all the sacrifices they made to have children.It can be easy to lose sight of what’s important. It’s also easy to get caught up thinking about what you have to do for your child and what you have given up for your child. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Take time out to reflect on the ways your child contributes to your life. After all, children enrich our lives in so many ways.For example, your children give you:unconditional love and admiration just for being you trust that you are the strongest, wisest and bravest person in the world the chance to be a hero the chance to be a child again through sharing in the magic and wonder of their emerging world the chance to experience an intensity of emotion and range of strengths and skills that might otherwise have remained hidden from you the chance to reflect on your own values, attitudes and assumptions about the world the chance to relive the joy and pleasure to be found in children’s play the chance to share in their fun and their laughter the chance to revisit your own childhood the chance to take time out from being a grown-up.One of the greatest gifts parents can give themselves is time with their children. Take some time each day to laugh, cry, play, dream, wonder and explore with your child.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articles8/5/20068/5/200621111Parenting as a drug userDrug usersSubstance abuseDrug users000An account of the experiences of a father who regularly takes drugs. Includes an interview with a drug-using parent, information on the impact of drugs on parenting ability, and information on the challenges and responsibilities of being a drug user. Also explains the effects of drugs on health, the safety risks associated with drug use, and community and family support available for drug users.00-100-30Around 10% of Australian adults have used marijuana in the last year. Using drugs affects people in different ways, but children of drug users are more likely to be neglected than other children, and to use drugs themselves. Read about one drug-using parent, and about the challenges facing drug-using parents around the country.ProfileAt a glanceThe challengesFor further helpProfileGeoff smokes marijuana almost every day. He’s a single dad to his daughter, Bella, who’s seven. Geoff is 32 and lives in Lismore, New South Wales.Geoff ‘I’m a regular marijuana smoker – I have been since I was 14. I smoke pretty much every day. Because I’ve always smoked, it’s become part of my life. Being stoned is a state of mind that I’m familiar with, so I’m used to dealing with my head and the space that you go into. I used to smoke much more, but since having Bella, I smoke much less. I have one or two joints a night, in the same way that other people have a drink at the end of the day to unwind. ‘I do smoke around Bella, but she doesn’t understand what I’m smoking. She gets mad at me for smoking because they’re taught at school that smoking is bad, but she doesn’t know there’s something else in the cigarette. Smoking pot has made me addicted to tobacco, so she’s onto something there. ‘These days Bella spends most of the week with her mother and weekends with me. She spent a lot more time with me when she was younger. When I had her more often I found it much harder, being completely responsible for this little person, trying to work and pay off a mortgage and deal with the relationship with her mother.‘If anything, I think smoking helps me be a better parent at times. Sometimes I am grumpy – we all have bad moods. But what it does is help me switch off the stresses of life, and get into a headspace removed from my own problems. I can get pretty consumed with the pressure, and being a single dad isn’t easy in any way. Smoking puts me in a perspective that helps me emotionally connect with Bella in a way that I find difficult otherwise. She’s a very full-on child, very demanding and bright, and she needs that direct one-on-one communication.‘If I could do it again, I’d prefer not to smoke as much. Where we live, smoking is very common and a lot of parents do it. I think there are dysfunctional parents around. Being a parent depends on the person’s ability to deal with their life and their issues, regardless of whether they smoke pot or not.’At a glanceResearch in 2010 found that 28.4% of Australian men and women drank enough alcohol to be harmful at least once every month (that is, in excess of NHMRC guidelines for harm from the chronic, long-term effects of alcohol).Research in 2007 found that over 10% of Australians aged 15-64 had used marijuana in the previous 12 months.Children raised in homes where parents are regularly taking drugs are more likely to have problems with brain development and learning, and difficulties with emotional control, behaviour and social adjustment.Children of substance-abusing parents are at greater risk of child abuse and neglect, and are less likely to be well looked after.Alcohol or substance misuse is a factor in around half the cases of child abuse or neglect reported in Australia.Parents who use drugs or alcohol don’t necessarily do a bad job of caring for their children. But problem use of drugs or alcohol can lead to detrimental effects on child growth and development.The challengesPeople take drugs for many different reasons (drugs can refer to alcohol, prescription drugs or illegal drugs). Some people use drugs (including alcohol) in social situations to have a good time or to relax and unwind. Other people use drugs to deal with unhappiness and problems with self-esteem, or to cover up feelings of guilt or shame. Some live in circumstances where drugs are part of their immediate culture, such as in areas of poverty where drug misuse is higher, or in parts of the country that embrace ‘alternative’ culture.Taking drugs can affect the way you do things and the way you think. Some people feel that drugs have positive effects. But drugs can also have serious negative effects on your health and relationships. Depending on the drug, the amount used and the context of use, drugs can make you:become anxious and upsetlose coordinationbecome aggressive or forgetfullose awareness of what is happening around you.Because drugs can also affect your ability to react and your accuracy in doing things, it’s much easier to have an accident when you’re doing things such as driving a car or even cooking over a hot stove.Because of the effects of drugs, a parent’s ability to care for their child can be compromised when they’re under the influence.Parenting and drug use Using drugs doesn’t make someone a bad parent. Many Australian parents use drugs such as alcohol in a low-risk way. Other parents use drugs more heavily and cope remarkably well, doing the best they can in difficult circumstances.Some studies have even shown that in general, mothers with drug addictions cared for their children in the same way as non-addicted mothers. Overall, these mothers tended to use less physical punishment and be less strict in parenting. But they also had some fears about their children’s future and thought they weren’t as good a parent as they could be.But using drugs can negatively affect your ability to parent. In some cases, it can also directly affect your child. When parental drug use harms the child in some way, it becomes a problem. Sometimes when parents take drugs, the effects can have lasting impacts on the child’s development and behaviour.For example, drug-using parents might:drive when intoxicated and with the children in the carforget about care the children need, such as getting meals or getting children to schoollet children see distressing mood swings or behaviournot be as involved in children’s daily lives as they ordinarily would be – this might mean missing important events, like school concerts and partieshave children who feel uncomfortable about having friends over, which can make it harder for the children to learn social skills.Smoking parents might expose their children to second-hand smoke. Studies have linked parental smoking – even when the children are nowhere near the smoke – to SIDS.Taking drugs while pregnant can harm the unborn child’s health and later behaviour. Most drugs including alcohol and tobacco - cross the placenta and can cause fetal distress, abnormalities, miscarriage, premature labour, low birth weight and developmental delays.Dealing with drug addictionsOvercoming a drug addiction is a difficult process. If you decide to do it, it can take years. In the process of recovery, a user must go through several stages, including dealing with the often uncomfortable physical symptoms of drug withdrawal, learning other ways of coping with life’s ups and downs, and the possibility of relapse. Of course, the level of symptoms and difficulty will depend on the drug and how strong the addiction is.If you decide to give up any drugs you’re addicted to, you’ll need support and counselling. Depending on the severity of your addiction, you might also need time in residential rehabilitation.Supporting a parent with an addiction Friends and other family members can help parents with a drug addiction in the following ways.There’s a very good chance that a parent feels bad about the issues with drugs, so providing support, rather than judgement or criticism, is vital. Criticising someone in this position might only result in that person feeling worse and becoming defensive. But it’s also important to look after yourself and be clear about what you are and aren’t prepared to do.People using drugs are responsible for their own actions. Only they can decide when to stop. The best way to help is by encouraging small efforts. Ask your friend or family member about how they’d like help once they show signs of wanting to deal with the addiction.Familiarise yourself with the drug and its effects. Understanding how it works and why people become addicted will help you understand what your friend or family member is experiencing.When you can, support the parent’s children by spending time with them and filling in where the parent might be missing out. Talk to the children about the parent’s problem. Make sure the children understand that they’re not the cause of their parent’s behaviour. Try to balance supporting the parent with making sure the children are safe from harm or abuse.Listen and talk to your friend or family member. Don’t push them into talking about the issue. When they do talk about it, try to find out what the underlying issues are.If money is short, offer to help with bill payments or groceries, rather than providing cash.For information and help, see Family Drug Support.For further helpStateOrganisationDescriptionDetailsACTADIS (Alcohol and Drug Information Services)A confidential 24/7 telephone counselling, information and referral service for those struggling with alcohol and drug use, families and friends of users, and health and welfare professionals(02) 6205 4545NSWADIS (Alcohol and Drug Information Services)A confidential 24/7 telephone counselling, information and referral service for those struggling with alcohol and drug use, families and friends of users, and health and welfare professionals(02) 9361 8000 or outside metropolitan area 1800 422 599Family Drug SupportInformation and advice for families and friends who are coping with the illicit drug use of someone close to them1300 858 584 or www.fds.org.auOdyssey HouseProvides a range of services dedicated to helping drug users and their family and friendswww.odysseyhouse.com.auQLDADIS (Alcohol and Drug Information Services)A confidential 24/7 telephone counselling, information and referral service for those struggling with alcohol and drug use, families and friends of users, and health and welfare professionals(07) 3236 2414 or outside metropolitan area 1800 177 833Family Drug SupportInformation and advice for families and friends who are coping with the illicit drug use of someone close to them(07) 3252 1735SAADIS (Alcohol and Drug Information Services)A confidential 24/7 telephone counselling, information and referral service for those struggling with alcohol and drug use, families and friends of users, and health and welfare professionals131 340 or outside metropolitan area 1300 131 340Family Drug SupportInformation and advice for families and friends who are coping with the illicit drug use of someone close to them(08) 8384 4314DASSA (Drug and Alcohol Services South Australia)For help with prevention, treatment information, education and community-based serviceswww.dassa.sa.gov.auWAADIS (Alcohol and Drug Information Services)A confidential 24/7 telephone counselling, information and referral service for those struggling with alcohol and drug use, families and friends of users, and health and welfare professionals(08) 9442 5000 or outside metropolitan area 1800 198 024Parent Drug Information Service (08) 9442 5050 or outside metropolitan area 1800 653 203NTADIS (Alcohol and Drug Information Services)A confidential 24/7 telephone counselling, information and referral service for those struggling with alcohol and drug use, families and friends of users, and health and welfare professionals1800 131 350TASADIS (Alcohol and Drug Information Services)A confidential 24/7 telephone counselling, information and referral service for those struggling with alcohol and drug use, families and friends of users, and health and welfare professionals(03) 6222 7511 or outside metropolitan area 1800 811 994VICADIS (Alcohol and Drug Information Services)A confidential 24/7 telephone counselling, information and referral service for those struggling with alcohol and drug use, families and friends of users, and health and welfare professionals1800 888 236 Family Drug Help 1300 660 068Other national helplinesLifeline 131 114Parent Line 132 055Quit 131 848RightDid you knowChildren whose parents use drugs are more likely to use drugs when they grow up – usually the same drugs their parents useVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Institute of Health and Welfare (2010). 2010 National Drug Strategy Household Survey, Cat. no. PHE 145. Retrieved September 20, 2011 from http://www.aihw.gov.au/publication-detail/?id=32212254712&tab=2Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (2010). Australia's Health 2010, Cat. no. AUS 122. Retrieved September 20, 2011 from http://www.aihw.gov.au/WorkArea/DownloadAsset.aspx?id=6442452962&libID=6442452962Centre of Community Child Health (2004). Parenting information project, vol 2:Literature review. Canberra: Department of Family and Community Services. Johnson, J.L., & Leff, M. (1999). Children of substance abusers: Overview of research findings. Paediatrics, 13(5), 1085 – 1099. Mayes, L.C., & Truman, S.D. (2002). Substance abuse and parenting. In M.H. Bornstein (ed), The handbook of parenting, 2nd ed, vol 4. Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum. Victorian Government Department of Human Services (2005). Parenting support toolkit for alcohol and other drug workers. Melbourne: Author.15/05/200624/08/201091111Parenting in a same-sex relationshipSame-sex parentssame-sex relationshipsgay parents000Experiences of two women in a same-sex relationship and their two children; interview; challenges; community and family support.0Green0-100-30More than 10% of same-sex couples are parenting a child. Most report that the biggest problem they have is discrimination, either against them or their children. Read about one same-sex couple who are raising two children on the NSW north coast, and about the challenges faced by gay parents all over Australia.ProfileAt a glanceThe challengesFor further helpProfileKelly and Marie Anne have two children: Isabella, aged six, and Massimo, aged four. They live in Mullumbimby, New South Wales.Kelly ‘We were in a relationship for several years and we both decided we wanted to have children. We weren’t that fussed about who had the children, it just so happened that I was considerably older and we felt that Marie Anne’s family had to be eased into the situation. We’ve had two children, one each, to the same sperm donor. But we don’t make biological distinctions – they are both our kids and we’re both their mummies. They know whose tummy they came out of, and that Dave is their donor dad and they have an older sister, Ruby, but other than that, in their family they have two mummies.‘Once the babies came along, it changed things with our families considerably. Grandparents want interaction with their grandchildren and our relationships were then greatly improved with Marie Anne’s family. Her background is non-Anglo and they’re strict Catholics. It took a long time for them to warm to our relationship, but the kids really helped. My family still experiences a level of fear. They still have a fair way to go, but they’re doing their best. After all, there are so many diverse family structures nowadays – ours is just one.‘The children have contact with their dad – he’s in Melbourne with Ruby. In the future we might move back to Melbourne or they may want to spend more time with their extended family. The situation is open and we’re just going to leave it up to them when they’re older.‘One of the biggest challenges we face is the lack of legal recognition of a same-sex relationship. Things like being on the same Medicare card, small things that people take for granted. If we could legally recognise our relationship and therefore our children within that relationship, then things would be much simpler. But we’re currently not allowed to do that in New South Wales.‘The other thing is the way people view same-sex families. We live in a small country town – homophobia is the same everywhere, people find difference a challenge. But we do an enormous amount for the schools and we are very involved in the community. I think this is helpful for the community; they know we’re a two-mummy family and the children are very open about that. People soon realise we’re just a pretty average family – what makes us special isn’t our family structure, but just us!’Share your ideas and experiences with other same-sex parents in our discussion forums.At a glanceIn 2006-2007, there were 27,000 same-sex de facto relationships/couples in Australia.In 2006, 3200 children were living with same sex couples. Of these, 89% were same-sex female couples.Research shows no differences in the outcomes for children of heterosexual parents and same-sex parents.The challengesWhen it comes to parenting, the challenges are the same, whether you’re same-sex parents or not. Having said this, there may be additional challenges for same-sex parents. Same-sex parents can face problems to do with being accepted and supported within society; however, this is improving as same-sex parented families become more visible as part of today’s wider variety of family structures.Fears and concerns If you’re now in a same-sex relationship but your children were born in a previous heterosexual relationship, you might worry about losing custody, or fear that courts will favour heterosexual parents. If you have children through donor insemination, you might have to consider additional issues, such as your children perhaps wondering about who their donor father is.Children growing up in same-sex parented families may be concerned about what others might say about their family, and may feel different from their peers who have a mum and dad living in the same household. Same-sex parents may also be concerned with how their children will be affected by growing up in a household of same-sex parents. Parents may feel there is a lack of support and acceptance for their family form and their role as parents.Prejudice Perhaps one of the biggest challenges facing same-sex couples is prejudice, either on a personal level or an institutional level (such as a lack of support groups, services or legislation).In addition, the non-biological parent might not get enough recognition for being the ‘other parent’.Children may be singled out by their peers, or teachers might be insensitive to their situation; their prejudice may be expressed by blaming the children’s same-sex parents for any trouble.Meeting the challenges Same-parent families encounter challenges similar to other families. For example, same-sex couples with children from one partner’s previous marriage have a lot of the same problems as step-parents in heterosexual relationships, as well as some very different ones.If you’re in a same-sex relationship you might worry your children will be bullied or teased for being different from other families. You can help your children by pointing out the things you think are special or that are positive aspects of your family arrangement. You can also talk to them about discrimination and help them think about why people tease or bully others.You can help your child’s school or community understand more by: suggesting children’s books that deal with the issues for the school library  talking to your child’s teacher so they can help to educate other children about your family structure starting a support network in your local community.Being part of a support group with your children can help them feel part of a larger social network, and they can develop bonds with other children of same-sex relationships. Being part of a wider gay community can help children feel they fit in somewhere, even if they’re having problems at school.For further helpMaybe Baby Melbourne: a support group and chat site based in Melbourne, Victoria, for gay men and women considering parenthoodProspective Lesbian Parents: a Victorian-based site with information for lesbians who want children, lists of resources and links to helpful organisations in other states across AustraliaRightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2008). Family characteristics and transitions, Australia, 2006-2007, Cat no. 4442.0. Retrieved December 2, 2010, from http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/Lookup/4442.0Main+Features12006-07?OpenDocumentCentre of Community Child Health (2004). Parenting information project, Vol 2: Literature review. Department of Family and Community Services.McNair, R. (2004). Outcomes of children born of A.R.T. in a diverse range of families. Victorian Law Reform Commission. McNair, R., Dempsey, D., Wise, S., & Perlesz, A. (2002). Lesbian parenting: Issues, strengths and challenges. Family Matters, 63, 40-49.Patterson, C.J. (2002). Lesbian and gay parenthood. In M.H.Bornstein (ed), The handbook of parenting, 2nd ed, vol 3, 317 – 338.Perlesz, A., & McNair, R. (2004). Lesbian parenting: Insiders’ voices. Australia and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, 25(2), 129-140.Ray, V., & Gregory, R. (2001). School experiences of the children of lesbian and gay parents. Family Matters, 59, 28 – 34.Rickard, M. (2002). Children of lesbian and single women parents (Research note No. 41). Canberra: Parliament of Australia.Wise, S. (2003). Family structure, child outcomes and environmental mediators: An overview of the development in diverse families study, Research paper no. 30, Melbourne: Australian Institute of Family Studies.15/5/20063/1/2011111111Raising a grandchildGrandparentsGrandparentsgrandchildren000Experiences of grandparents who are raising grandchildren; interview; challenges, responsibilities and benefits; difficulties in areas of law, finance, health and emotional issues; community and family support.0Green0-100-30In Australia between 2006-07, there were 14 000 grandparent familes caring for 18 900 grandchildren. It’s a situation fraught with legal and financial difficulties, and many grandparents are thrust into the role without a lot of consultation. Read about the experience of one grandparent, and the challenges facing grandparents raising their children around the country.ProfileCarol and Glenn live in Perth, Western Australia, and have been looking after their grandchildren – Mia, aged six, and Luke, three – since the children were removed from their parents by welfare agencies two years ago. Carol is 54 and Glenn is 56.Carol‘We’re from England originally, but we’ve been here for 19 years and had seven children of our own. We’ve had our grandchildren for two years. They’re my son’s children. At first we only thought it would be for a while – we were given custody after they were removed from their parents by children’s services because they were being neglected and nobody else could take them. Our son still lives in WA and he’s still with the children’s mother. They’ve got another child on the way. They want custody, but they both have substance abuse problems.‘The children’s mother is Aboriginal, and I’m keen for them to maintain links to their original culture. They’d been staying with an auntie on the mother’s side, but she couldn’t manage them. Because they have such a large extended family on that side, I felt it was probably wrong that children’s services asked me to have them, and for a while I was worried the family might come and try to take them back. But nobody’s ever been near me, so I feel quite safe with them now.‘We still have two teenage children at home, so we’re used to having children around. But for the first time in our lives we were beginning to plan, maybe move into a smaller house somewhere else and take some holidays. Before we had the grandchildren, we were able to pop over and see our daughter in Melbourne once or twice a year; I was working full-time and we could afford it. But it’s all gone backwards now we’re parents again.‘I had to pack up my job even though I didn’t want to. I really loved my job. But I couldn’t manage working and caring for the children. It was putting a strain on my husband as well, as he had to care for them at night. We were both getting very tired.‘Although I’m enjoying them now because they are still little, I’m not looking forward to when they’re teenagers and start rebelling. But it might be different with them. I think I’m more patient now than when I was younger.‘I do feel as though they are missing out on us being their grandparents. Because they’re living with us and we’re their primary carers, I don’t feel as though we’re their grandparents anymore.’Share ideas and experiences with other people raising grandchildren in our forums.At a glanceBetween 2006-07, there were 14 000 grandparent families caring for 18 900 children. In 61% of these families, the grandparents were over 55.62% of grandparent families rely on a government pension for income.In 2005, 47% of grandparent families were also sole-grandparent families.Around 75% of children who have parents but who live with their grandparents visit their parents at least once a year.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2005). Australian Social Trends 2005. Cat. no. 4102.0. Canberra: ABS. Retrieved December 2, 2010, from http://www.ausstats.abs.gov.au/Ausstats/subscriber.nsf/0/D3D7FAA735DDA645CA25703B00774A0B/$File/41020_2005.pdfAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2008). Family characteristics and transitions survey, 2006-07 (Report 4442.0). Retrieved from http://www.ausstats.abs.gov.au/ausstats/subscriber.nsf/0/5E0A33B317158C79CA25745F001694CB/$File/44420%20Reissue%20July%202008.pdfCentre of Community Child Health (2004). Parenting information project: Vol. 2. Literature review. Department of Family and Community Services.Fitzpatrick, M., & Reeve, P. (2003). Grandparents’ raising grandchildren – a new class of disadvantaged Australians. Family Matters, 66, 54-57.Smith, P.K., & Drew, L.M. (2002). Grandparenthood. In M.H. Bornstein (Ed.). The handbook of parenting: Vol. 3. Being and becoming a parent (2nd ed., pp. 141-172). Marwah NJ: Erlbaum.15/5/20067/3/201131111Raising a stepchildRaising a stepchildStep-parentsStep-parentsstepchildren000The experiences of parents who are raising stepchildren, including an interview. Also looks at the challenges, responsibilities and benefits of being a step-parent.00-100-30Step-parents have a lot to cope with – they might be sorting out problems from old relationships and dealing with issues with their own children, as well as coming to terms with their new children. Read about one stepfamily and the challenges facing step-parents around the country.ProfileAt a glanceThe challengesMeeting the challengesFor further helpProfileColin and Gayle both had one child each when they married, and are now parents to another six children. The family lives in Adelaide, South Australia.Colin‘Gayle and I married 15 years ago now. I have a son, Jason, from a previous marriage, and my wife had a daughter, Fiona, from her previous marriage. When we got together, she became a stepmother and I became a stepfather. Then we had six children of our own, including a set of twins.‘My son was about five and my stepdaughter was about four when we got together. That was a good age for children to adjust quickly to the situation – I think it can be a lot more difficult for step-parents when the children are teenagers and the parents get together. My son lived with us full-time for about 12 months when he was about eight or so, but other than that, he’s mostly lived with his mum. He was here pretty much every weekend and most of the holidays until he moved interstate, then he just came on school holidays.‘There are a lot of different issues to do with being a step-parent. For me, these are to do with my ex-wife causing a few problems within the new marriage, and a few to do with discipline. The question is, who is responsible for discipline? Should the step-parents play a role or should it be left up to the biological parent? Because my son stayed with his mum for the majority of the time, I made sure that I varied the discipline there. With my stepdaughter, my mistake was to come in too quickly and too hard as the step-parent. It’s usually good for the step-parent to sit back and build a relationship with the child before starting with discipline. I think any step-parent these days can expect it to take anywhere up to seven years for the family to be functioning. Parents need to give it that time, to communicate, and don’t try to be the super step-parent.‘In some ways I’m very fortunate because I’m the only dad my stepdaughter has really ever known. I very rarely use the term stepdaughter. She’s my daughter and she has been since she was four years old. I think we’ve got a pretty good relationship and she’s called me Dad from day one. My wife and my son might have had a few little problems, but overall, they have a good relationship as well.’ Share your ideas and experiences with other step-parents in our forums. At a glanceApproximately 120 000 children were living in step-families in 2007.Another 100 000 children were living in blended families during 2007.In 2007, 8% of all families were step or blended families.The challengesMyths about stepfamiliesOf all parent and family types, none have more stereotypes or myths associated with them than step-parents and stepfamilies – just think of the sugar-coated bliss of The Brady Bunch or the wicked step mother in Cinderella! Other stepfamily myths include:A stepfamily is created instantly.Stepfamilies can function like biological families.All stepfamily members will, given time, love one another.Relating to stepchildren is the same as relating to biological children.All the children in a stepfamily will automatically get on together.Part-time stepfamilies where children ‘visit’ have it easier than full-time stepfamilies where children ‘live in’.The stepfamily is headed by a wicked stepmother or cruel stepfather.Stepfamilies formed after the death of a partner have fewer problems than those formed after divorce or separation.If stepchildren are treated kindly by their step-parent they’ll always respond well.The parent couple can love one another so much that problems creating a stepfamily will be easily overcome.© From Gerrard and Howden (1998). Making Stepfamilies Work: A course for couples – Leaders Manual, Stepfamilies Australia, p36.Getting alongWhen they join a new family, children can find it difficult forming relationships with new parents and stepsiblings. Much of this difficulty is related to understanding what other people are like and learning about differences in personality. As children don’t always have the same understanding as adults – that people have good and bad points – they can often form judgments without getting to know the person properly, and might resist communication efforts until the other person has ‘proven’ themselves.Children can feel jealous and angry when their biological parent shares time with stepsiblings or the new partner. This can be worse if the child is having trouble forming their own relationships within the new family. All family members are likely to have some difficulties adjusting and might feel insecure, disillusioned, jealous, helpless and lonely.Living day to dayChildren respond to routine and habits. If changes are made in the household, including simple everyday things such as the type of food eaten, expectations about housework or the amount of time spent with a parent or siblings, it can take some getting used to.Extra stressEmotional stress in a stepfamily can come from a number of sources. Both children and adults may be sad about the loss of their old family or closeness with a particular family member. As with other types of grief, this process can bring up many emotions such as anger, sadness and denial. Problems with money, particularly those related to a custody dispute, can also increase a parent’s stress level, which can get in the way of forming new relationships with the children.DisciplineSometimes step-parents, particularly stepfathers, can be confused about whether to take a role in disciplining stepchildren. This situation can be made more difficult when stepchildren resist or resent their new parent trying to be an active parent. Step-parents may respond to resistance from their stepchildren with increased negativity and might shut off from them. This can then put added stress on the relationship with the new partner.Meeting the challengesFocus on building relationships Perhaps the most important task in creating a happy stepfamily is building individual relationships. Stepmothers and fathers can build trust and respect by developing a warm and involved relationship with the child before becoming involved in discipline. Spending one-on-one time without the demands of other people helps with direct communication. Doing fun activities together – such as taking a walk or a bike ride, going on a special outing, going shopping or teaching a new skill – can show the child the step-parent’s good qualities. This sort of time together shows the child their step-parent cares about them, not just their parent.Ease into disciplineResearch suggests that easing into discipline is particularly effective for stepfathers. While the relationship with the child develops, the father can support the mother’s discipline, such as offering children an explanation for why they might be in trouble. Once trust and respect develops, stepfathers can take a more active parenting role. Stepfathers may need to spend some time adjusting to this role, particularly if they were in the ‘provider’ role in their previous relationship, rather than the care-giving role.On the other hand, stepmothers fare best when they nurture their relationship with their partner and support the biological parents in their parenting role. When the stepmother takes on a more active role, she may find herself resented or rejected by the children.Take time and don’t expect too much too soonIn the case of all challenges faced by step-parents, the key is not to expect things to happen too quickly – getting to know other people can take years and you can’t hurry the process. Both partners are doing something new and it can help if you can work out a strategy for the role each partner will play. Introducing gradual changes in day-to-day living can help ease the new family into place and make the transition for children much easier.For more information, support and education on stepfamilies, you might like to visit the Stepfamilies Australia website.RightDid you knowAround a third of Australians getting married have children from previous marriages.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2008). Family Characteristics and Transitions, Australia, 2006-07. Cat. no. 4420.0. Canberra: ABS. Retrieved December 2, 2010, from http://www.ausstats.abs.gov.au/Ausstats/subscriber.nsf/0/5E0A33B317158C79CA25745F001694CB/$File/44420%20Reissue%20July%202008.pdfHetherington, E.M., & Stanley-Hagen, M. (2002). Parenting in divorced and remarried families. In M.H. Bornstein (ed), Handbook of Parenting, 2nd Ed, vol 3, 287–315. Mahwah NJ: Erlbaum.McIvor, R. (1998). Working with step-parents. Journal of Family Studies, 4:1, 107-108.Wise, S. (2003). Family structure, child outcomes and environmental mediators: An overview of the development in diverse families study, Research paper no. 30, Melbourne: Australian Institute of Family Studies.15/05/200603/01/2011131111Raising a child with a disabilityChildren with disabilitiesChildren with disabilities000Experiences of parents who are raising a child with a disability; interview; challenges, responsibilities and benefits of bringing up a child with epilepsy.00-100-30Nearly 5% of Australian children have some type of disability. Their parents are dealing with a range of emotions, but most adapt with help and support from the community. Read how one parent copes, and about the challenges faced by parents of disabled children in Australia.ProfileAt a glanceThe challengesFor further helpFind more information about parenting a child with a disability in our Children with a Disability section.Profile              Joan’s son Jack is 12 and has a severe form of epilepsy that affects his intellectual capabilities and behaviour. He needs one-on-one care 24 hours a day. Joan also has a daughter, Ruby, and the family lives in Belmont, Victoria.‘Jack has a form of epilepsy known as Lennox-Gastaut. His development was normal until he was about three years old and the uncontrolled seizures began. The severe seizures have affected Jack’s intellectual capabilities and his behaviour. His condition is expected to get worse with age.‘Basically, Jack needs one-on-one care all the time. He needs help with dressing, feeding and toileting, and you need to watch him all the time in case he takes off. You always have to be aware of what he’s doing, whether it’s making sure he’s watching videos or making sure he doesn’t become too aggressive with his sister, Ruby. You really have to get everything done at home – like getting dinner ready – before Jack gets home so you can care for him. Because of this, going out gets to be too difficult. Sometimes you’ll give something a go but when an outing turns into a disaster, it’s easy to give up. You tend to base your life around home and not have much of a social life.‘As a result we have to do everything separately. I might take Ruby out while my partner, Paul, takes Jack out. Without family support you rely on paid carers to get respite. The support we can access isn’t flexible and is allocated on a case-by-case basis. This makes working particularly difficult – I can get funding for a carer to pick Jack up after school and bring him home if I’m sitting at home, but not when I’m at work because it isn’t classified as respite.‘What’s particularly frustrating is hearing about how society is so accepting of disability, and how disability is catered for in the community. It’s total crap. Most parents I know with children with disabilities have a really hard time taking them out. As a parent you’re given a really hard time when your child looks normal but doesn’t act the way they should be acting. You can feel really defeated.‘You also lose your close relationships, and tend to mix with other parents of children with disabilities because you can relate. They become your support network. You don’t want to listen to people with pretty easy lives complain about what you see as trivial bullsh*t.‘At the end of the day, though, the rewards do outweigh the hard stuff. As a parent you get a lot of love back and Jack does have a particularly good sense of humour. As a family we have a really tight bond – everything is out in the open and we all know each other really well.’Share your ideas and experiences with other parents of children with a disability in our discussion forums.At a glanceIn 2009, 3.4% of Australian children aged 0-4, and 8.8% of children aged 5-14, were living with a disability, including chronic illness, intellectual or physical disability. The percentage is higher in Indigenous communities.The total number of Australian children with a disability has decreased from 319,000 in 2003 to 288,400 in 2009.64% of the disabilities referred to movement, self-care, schooling or communication (known as core activity restrictions).Most parents adapt successfully to parenting a child with a disability, seeing their child as a positive contributor to the family and as a source of happiness.The challengesFirst reactions Grief is one of the most common reactions parents have when they find out their child has a disability. Before having a child with a disability, parents may have had dreams about how their child might be or how they imagined they’d be as a parent. Shock, anger, sadness, fear and resentment are only a few of the feelings that parents can have when they learn that a child has a disability or illness. They might also wonder ‘Why me?’ or ‘What have I done to deserve this?’These feelings all lessen with time.Stress Coping with the additional amount of physical and emotional care is a challenge. Children with disabilities can need regular medical attention, time in hospital or regular therapy, in addition to extra care at home.Depending on the severity of the disability, your child might need constant supervision. This pressure and the sense of isolation that can accompany high levels of care can place a lot of emotional stress on parents, and might affect the parental relationship or the family’s ability to cope financially. Because of these stresses, emotional disturbances such as anxiety or depression are more common than usual among parents of children with disabilities. While stress affects all parents, single parents who have a child with a disability can quickly develop a good sense of the resources available, perhaps because they lack the informal supports that couples have.Coping Families of a child with a disability cope better when they’re supported by their partner, other family members or community services. Having two parents to contribute to care, finances and emotional support can make parenting easier. Parents who have a positive attitude and who look at the advantages they have over other parents also tend to cope in a more healthy way. Although some parents might have mixed feelings about accessing services through the community, respite care and other services – when available – can offer a good opportunity for parents to take a break and get assistance. Parents of children with a disability often worry that their other children are disadvantaged. In fact, studies have shown that having a sibling with a disability can encourage growth and maturity. If you’re a parent of a child with a disability, you might find that talking through your problems with other parents of children with disabilities can really help. Sometimes just talking about your difficulties helps ease the emotional burden. In the long-term, caring can become easier as skills are learnt and you adapt to your circumstances. If you feel as though you can’t cope, it can help to speak to a professional, such as a psychologist or counsellor who will understand the stresses associated with your role.Ask your doctor for help if you want to get in touch with organisations or services that can help support you. Most community health care centres offer counselling – look in the phone directory or ask your doctor for more information.VIDEOID=5807For further help, you might like to contact the Association for Children with a Disability, a Victoria-based organistion that offers information, support and advocacy for children with a disability and their families (freecall 1800 654 013).RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2009). Disability, ageing and carers, Australia: Summary of findings. Cat. no. 4430. Canberra: ABS. Retrieved 23 August, 2011 from http://www.ausstats.abs.gov.au/ausstats/subscriber.nsf/0/9C2B94626F0FAC62CA2577FA0011C431/$File/44300_2009.pdf Blacher, J., Cameron, L.N, and Paczkowski, E. (2005) Current Opinion in Psychiatry. 18, 507-513.Centre of Community Child Health (2004). Parenting information project, vol 2: Literature review. Department of Family and Community Services.Hastings, R.P., Allen, R., McDermott, K & Still, D. (2002). Factors related to positive perceptions in mothers of children with intellectual disabilities. Journal of Applied Research in Intellectual Disabilities, 15, 269 – 275.Hodapp, R.M. (2002). Parenting children with mental retardation. In M. H. Bornstein (ed), The handbook of parenting: Children and parenting, 2nd ed., vol 1, 355–382. Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.Raghavan, R., & Small, N. (2004). Cultural diversity and intellectual disability. Current Opinion in Psychiatry 17(5), 365-370.04/05/200602/11/201171111Raising an adopted childAdoptive parents raising adopted childrenAdoptive parentsAdopted childrenAdoptive parents000Experiences of parents who adopt children; interview with parents; challenges, responsibilities and benefits.00-100-30Although adoption in Australia has dropped dramatically since the late 1960s, nearly 450 families adopt every year. These days far more children are adopted from overseas than locally. Read about one family who adopted locally in the 1980s, and about challenges facing adoptive parents around Australia.ProfileAt a glanceThe challengesFor further helpProfileKathryn and Patrick are parents to their biological son, Alex, 36, and their adopted daughter, Bianca, 27. They live in Albury, New South Wales. ‘It took three years for me to fall pregnant with Alex, and for many years afterwards we tried unsuccessfully to have another child. It had always been our dream to have more than one child, so when he was around four years old, we decided to register with an adoption agency. ‘Seven years later we finally got a letter telling us there was a girl we could possibly adopt. The next year was the most gruelling year of my life. The interview and assessment process was unbelievably traumatic and we’d travel to Melbourne for meetings and interviews, not knowing whether we’d pass. There were so many single parents hoping to adopt. But in the end, having Alex worked in our favour as it proved we were capable parents.‘The moment I laid eyes on Bianca I fell in love with her. She was this 14-month-old bundle of joy and from that day on she became our child and part of our family. She was a very, very easy child until she hit her teens. From day one we were open about her adoption and this wasn’t a problem until Bianca reached her teens. Between the ages of 13 to 16, when Bianca was dealing with all the typical experiences of being a teenage girl and trying to work out who she was, the adoption became an issue.‘The thing with adopted children is that they need to feel secure and loved just a bit more than other children. If they see any failure in your love towards them, they can take it and run with the idea “you don’t love me because I’m adopted” or “I hate you and you’re not even my real mother”. As a mum it can hurt – it’s like she had extra fuel for her teenage angst. But our strategy was just to respond with love. We always made a point to show her how much we loved her and made sure she felt special, and that she was our child and loved as much as Alex. It was hard there for a while, but by the time she turned 18, things sort of levelled out.‘Today Bianca is the most wonderful, mature, contented, loving, gorgeous, well adjusted woman. She has an amazing circle of friends, a fantastic career and amazing relationships. I think she’s turned out pretty well!’Share your ideas and experiences with other adoptive parents in our discussion forums.At a glanceThere are far fewer adoptions in Australia than there were before 1968–69, when contraceptives became more widely available and support increased for single parents.In the year 1971–72, there were nearly 10 000 adoptions. In 2008-09, there were 441.In 1979-80, 66 overseas-born children were adopted in Australia (about 2% of all children adopted). In 2008-09, 269 overseas-born children were adopted (61% of the total).In 2008-09, 104 children were adopted by people they already knew – 66 were adopted by step-parents, the rest by carers, foster parents or other relatives.Adoption of children from overseas has increased in recent years with 269 adoptions occuring in 2008-09 involving children from other countries.Adopted children are on average between 1-4 years old, while the average age of the adoptive parents is 40-44.The challengesAll parents have problems raising kids, and the problems of adoptive parents are much the same as those of ‘natural’ parents. The challenges specific to adoption are:  Deciding to adopt We expect to be able to have children biologically, and it’s a great loss when this can’t happen. Researchers and professionals working in this area have come to believe that adoption works best when adopting parents have openly faced the grief associated with infertility and come to accommodate or accept their situation, even if sadness associated with infertility never fully goes away. It seems it’s easier for parents to bond with their adopted child – and also to cope with the child’s natural curiosity about their origins when that arises – if the goal of becoming a parent has become more important than how you become a parent.The adoption process Adoption assessment can be very stressful. Being evaluated for suitability to adopt can involve intense levels of scrutiny from an outside agency. It involves a ‘waiting game’ that can lead to parents feeling anxious or low in self-esteem. Some parents may also feel there’s a stigma attached to adoption – that it’s a ‘second-best option’. Others can feel there are fewer role models for adoptive parents compared to biological parents.Discussing the adoption with the child One of the biggest issues parents face is discussing the adoption with their child. Parents can worry about when and how to start talking about adoption, and about how the child will deal with the information. As they enter school and get better at figuring things out, children are likely to become more curious about their biological heritage.Once your child turns 18, he can access records about his birth parents, and birth parents can look at his records as well. Your child won’t need your permission to do this.Bonding with the child Research shows there’s little difference in the quality of attachment between adopted children and non-adopted children. The exceptions are when a parent has difficulty accepting the child as their own and feels as though they have a lack of support for the process.Meeting the challenges As with all parenting situations, the positives associated with adoption help to buffer the negatives. Often adopting parents are older. As a result, they may be more financially stable and might tolerate differences in their partner more comfortably than younger couples, which can mean less family conflict. If they’ve struggled for some time to have a child, they can also feel a heightened sense of fulfillment as a result.If your child was adopted from overseas, it can help a lot for your family to get involved in your child’s culture. If you live in a big city, look for cultural organisations from your child’s birth country. You might like to visit her birth country when she’s old enough to appreciate it. It can also help to link up with other parents who’ve adopted children from your child’s country so she has a support network throughout her life.Tips for parents facing adoptionIt’s normal for a child to feel all kinds of emotions when they discover they were adopted. These emotions are often associated with coming to terms with the loss of their biological family.Understanding and guiding your child through his grief can help avoid long-term emotional issues about being adopted.Talk and listen to your child about his adoption.Be positive with your child about his biological origins.Respect his curiosity about his biological heritage.Respect differences between your child’s current environment and his biological origins. Help your child understand and know himself, both as your child and as a child of his original culture.For further helpAustralia-wideCare Leavers Australia Network provides support for state wards, foster children and children who were raised in homes.Adoption Jigsaw supports adoptive parents, birth parents and adult adopted children.Inter-Country Adoption Support Network links adoptees up with each other, and provides emotional and cultural support.NSWThe Benevolent Society: Post Adoption Resource CentreQueenslandInternational Adoptive Families of QueenslandVictoriaAdoptive Families Association of VictoriaRightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Institute of Health and Welfare (2009). Adoptions Australia 2007-2008 (Report No. 46. Cat. no. cws 34). Retrieved from http://www.aihw.gov.au/publications/cws/aa07-08/aa07-08.pdfAustralian Institute of Health and Welfare (2010). Adoptions Australia, 2008-09 (AIHW Cat no. CWS 35). Retrieved August 23, 2011 from http://www.aihw.gov.au/publication-detail/?id=6442468329&tab=2 Brodzinsky, D.M., & Pinderhughes, E. (2002). Parenting and child development in adoptive families. In M.H. Bornstein (Ed.), The handbook of parenting: Vol 1. Children and parenting (2nd ed, pp.279 - 312). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum. Centre of Community Child Health (2004). Parenting information project, Vol 2: Literature review. Canberra:Department of Family and Community Services.15/05/200620/11/200911111Parenting aloneBeing a single parentSingle parentsSingle parentsLone parents000A single mother discusses her experience of raising a child. Includes statistics, challenges and links to further support.00-100-30One-parent families are the fastest growing type of family in Australia, with 823 300 single families recorded during the 2006 census. The Australian Government expects this number to reach 1.2 million by 2026. While some single parents have worries about money, child care and relationships, others report enjoying special closeness with their child. Read about one single parent, and the challenges faced by parents raising children alone all over Australia.Profile At a glanceThe challengesFor further helpProfileClaudia* is a single mother raising her two-year-old daughter Amelia in Melbourne, Victoria. Amelia’s father lives on the other side of the world.Claudia‘One of the good things about being a sole parent is that I get to do most things my way. I don’t have to argue with anyone (except for Amelia!) about what sort of food I feed Amelia, or about when she should have a sleep. Likewise, I don’t get to blame a partner for not doing their share. This may sound ridiculous, but I’m kind of glad that these days I get to avoid all the stress that comes when the parents’ relationship is tested by having kids.‘On the other hand, when I’m really exhausted or sick, or when I simply want a break, I really wish there was someone I could hand her over to. And I often fantasise about being able to pop out at night to see a movie while my (nonexistent) partner stays at home to babysit. Exhaustion is a big issue – especially when Amelia’s waking up for the brand new day at 5 am and I can’t say to my hubby: ‘your turn’. There are financial challenges, too, and I do miss adult company.‘I never intended to be a single mum. I was in love with Amelia’s dad and thought he would do the honourable thing and shack up with me. Instead he did the opposite and abandoned me in my hour of need. I will never really understand how he could be so cold-blooded. I’ve agonised a lot about how to involve him in her life, and it’s been complicated, given that he lives on the other side of the world. But I’ve always felt very strongly that Amelia should be given the opportunity to know her father, no matter how he and I are getting along or what obstacles lie in our path.‘In bringing up Amelia I try to balance the indulgences with the setting of limits so she won’t end up being a spoilt brat. I try to offer her healthy and interesting food (though I must admit it’s sometimes mashed potato). I work very hard to maintain a safe, comfortable, stable environment at home and to also fill her life with new experiences. Simple things like catching the train can make her happy for a week. Taking a trip to Greece to meet her father earlier this year was very wearing for me but Amelia blossomed beyond all expectations. I like to give her room to surprise me, to give her freedom where I can. And I try to be happy when we’re together – to let her light up my life. If I’m grumpy, she gets grumpy, and then it’s no fun for anyone. She is growing up to be a fiercely independent and confident young thing, and I hope some of that comes from my mothering.’VIDEOID=5356Share your ideas and experiences with other single parents in our discussion forums.At a glanceOne-parent families are the fastest growing type of family in Australia.A quarter of children born to an intact couple experience their parents’ separation by the time they are 18.Families with one parent have, on average, half the income of families with two parents.The challengesMore and more Australian parents are raising children alone. You may be alone because your partner died or because your relationship broke down. You may be grieving the loss of your partner, or sad because your dream of a happy two-parent family is gone, or you may be glad you’ll never have to spend much time with your partner again. You may be arguing with a former partner over how often they see the children, or how much they pay towards their upbringing. You may never speak to your former partner, or you may still be friends but hope for more.Whatever your situation, being single is bound to affect your experience of raising children. More than likely, you are a little (or a lot) short on money. You could be stressed because you’re arguing with your former partner about their relationship with their child and with you. You may not be able to spend as much time with your child as you want to, either because of custodial arrangements or because you have to work more often than you’d like. You may feel isolated and lonely; you might be sad that you don’t have the chance to get out and meet new people. You might wonder if you’ll ever be in a relationship again.Being alone has its disadvantages but also has its benefits. Your relationship with your child may be closer than it would be if you were in an adult relationship. You can make your own decisions about your child’s sleeping, eating, discipline and child care without arguing with another adult. And there’s no-one else demanding that you pay less attention to the baby and more to them.Most single parents report that having a strong network of support – relatives, friends or professional help – can tip the balance, making the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. You can turn to other people if you:have too much to doneed a breakwant someone to vent toneed financial assistancewant your child to have more than one adult role model.VIDEOID=5352For further helpChild Support Agency administers child support paymentsCentrelink for parenting payment information on sole parent benefits and other government financial assistanceNational Council of Single Mothers and their Children lobby group for the rights of single mothers and for a chat site and email list Positive shared parenting website with articles and information about issues concerning single parents* Names have been changed for privacy reasons.VIDEOID=5460 Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2010). 1301.0 - Year Book Australia, 2009-10. Retrieved 31 December, 2010, from http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/39433889d406eeb9ca2570610019e9a5/4266BB1E43756E9FCA25773700169D18?opendocument08/05/200620/11/2009121111Parents with physical disabilityParents with physical disabilityPhysical disability - parentsDisabled parents000Features the experiences of a disabled parent raising three children, the challenges faced, and community and family support.00-100-30About one-fifth of Australians have a disability. For those who are parents, it’s a lack of suitable services, rather than their disability, which can make it hard to cope. Read one parent’s story, and learn more about the challenges facing Australian parents with a disability.ProfileAt a glanceThe challengesFor further helpShare your ideas and experiences with other parents with a disability in our forums.ProfileAnita and Barry are parents to children now aged 21, 25 and 28. Anita has been in a wheelchair since her teens.   Anita ‘I’ve been in a wheelchair since I had a car accident when I was 16. I’d always wanted to be a mother and a year after I got married, I had my first son.   ‘When the children were young I got by through designing and modifying things to suit my needs. When they were babies I had them on a sheepskin with two wooden handles so I could pick them up. When they started crawling they’d wear a little harness or I’d dress them in overalls. I had a change table and bassinette modified to suit my chair, and used a bath that supported the babies well.   ‘The hardest part, when the children were young, was the isolation. We were living in a semi-rural area and I was very much confined to the house while my husband worked. Getting outside was difficult, so I couldn’t play with the children in the garden as much as I’d have liked – I had to rely on my mum a bit for that. Even though I drive, getting to the shops and leaving the house is quite an ordeal when you’ve got to put the kids in the car and put your chair in too. So I tended to stay at home and because of that I had a really solid routine. I think that helped a lot. But it was tiring. Lifting nappy buckets and all those things are very tiring when you’re in a wheelchair.   ‘But it wasn’t just physical isolation. I felt a lot of frustration and could get depressed when I just couldn’t do the things I wanted to do because I was so isolated and tired. I was lucky because I had a supportive husband, and when we went out he had to change the children because I didn’t have the special table. But this was frustrating too.   ‘My approach has always been that I’m a mother before I’m a person with a disability. I tried really hard to be part of the children’s lives. I went on the kindergarten committee to make the kindergarten wheelchair accessible, and I did fruit duty and reading. I’ve done spinal injury awareness talks at the children’s schools and have been as much a part of my children’s recreational activities as I could – the calisthenics committee, and racing around the three phases of dressage, show jumping and cross-country in my three-wheel motorbike. Now one son is an Olympic athlete and my daughter is getting there in equestrian events.’At a glanceIn 2009, 18.5% of Australians were living with a disabilityAs a group, carers have a lower rate of disability – 12.2% of carers have a disability.In 2009, 5.3% of people have a profound or severe core activity-limiting disability. This means they need assistance with at least one of communication, mobility and self-care.The challengesParents with a physical disability can still experience a fairly high level of prejudice. Some people believe that people with a disability won’t make good parents, or that their children will be subject to a substandard family environment and level of parenting. For many years this has stopped parents with a disability from accessing support services because they’re frightened their children will be removed, or that their ability to be a good parent will be questioned. But there’s no evidence to support the view that having a physical disability will result in a reduced ability to parent.Studies have actually indicated that, in most cases, children of these parents can develop skills and qualities that are absent in other children. These may come from developing a deeper understanding of difficulties and hardship, learning to give and take pleasure in helping with family chores, and respecting and understanding responsibility. Because of their disability and the way a family adapts, parents with a disability can actually raise children who have a better insight into life and caring than many other children of the same age.Social disadvantagesIn the past, people have believed that having a disability makes it hard to get by in society – that it’s difficult to get an education, a job or have a family. The opposite view sees society failing to meet the needs of people with a disability. These needs include the desire and the right to have a family. Society fails people with a disability by not providing the right kinds of services and facilities within the community to make these goals achievable.A lack of services makes it hard for disabled parents to cope. Typically, these parents deal with undue hardship because:there’s not enough respite or home help, and there’s a lack of support services within the community to meet their day-to-day needspeople working in the care sector don’t understand the needs of disabled parentsfamily relationships are interrupted when children are removed or cared for by others when their parents are hospitalised, ill or having difficulty.Associated problems Many people with moderate or severe disabilities have trouble holding down a job or simply getting through day-to-day activities, and that can make being a parent even more difficult. High rates of unemployment and poverty and social isolation – rather than the disability itself – lead to difficulties with child rearing. These strains can also cause tension between parents.Care and discipline Some of the challenges parents may face in hands-on child rearing are related to their physical abilities. If a parent is restricted in movement in the upper body, they may have difficulty holding a child unaided or carrying out general care duties, such as feeding and cleaning. If a parent is in a wheelchair, they may be limited in the amount of toddler-chasing or tantrum-soothing they can perform. Some parents’ energy levels are affected, making the already exhausting job of raising a child even more tiring.To compensate, many parents with a physical disability rely more heavily on verbal communication. This type of communication and instruction can start at an early age. Children understand they can learn to feel safe if they listen to their parent and do what they say. As children grow older, reasoning and explanation become the main tools for discipline.Children in a caring role Some people worry that children take on too much responsibility in physically caring for their parent. This has long been assumed to have a bad influence on the way a child is reared, as it may deny a child the regular experiences of childhood.Bu many studies show that children of disabled parents aren’t disadvantaged by helping to care for their parents. In fact, it’s suggested that learning about responsibility, care and contribution helps with the development of good self-esteem because children experience a sense of worth from their role. When children have too much responsibility it’s usually because the family isn’t properly supported by community services.For further helpHealth Insite: links to disability support services around AustraliaParents with Disabilities Online: a US site with an online community and information about resources and products.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2009). Disability, ageing and carers, Australia: Summary of findings. Cat. no. 4430. Canberra: ABS. Retrieved 23 August, 2011 from http://www.ausstats.abs.gov.au/ausstats/subscriber.nsf/0/9C2B94626F0FAC62CA2577FA0011C431/$File/44300_2009.pdf Blackford, K. (1999). A Child’ s Growing Up with a Parent Who Has Multiple Sclerosis: theories and experiences. Disability & Society, 14 (5), 673-678.Kelley, S. D. M., Sikka, A., & Venkatesan, S. (1997). A review of research on parental disability: Implications for research and counselling practice. Rehabilitation Counselling Bulletin, 41(2), 105-121.Kirshbaum, M., &  Olkin, R. (2002). Parents with Physical, Systemic, or Visual Disabilities. Sexuality and Disability, 20(1).Meadow-Orlans, K.P. (2002). Parenting with a sensory or physical disability. In M. Bornstein (Ed.), Handbook of parenting: Vol. 3, Being and becoming a parent (2nd ed., pp.317 – 338). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.Prilleltensky, O. (2004). My child is not my carer: mothers with physical disabilities and the well-being of children. Disability & Society, 19(3), 209-223.15/05/200602/01/201181111Raising a child in a different cultureDifferent cultureCultural differencesMigrantsLanguage problems000Looks at the experiences of migrant parents raising children in Australia, including interviews. Also goes into the challenges, as well as community and family support.00-100-30In 2010, 27% of Australia’s population was born overseas. Different languages, different cultures and different beliefs about the role of parents can make it hard for parents to raise children in a new country. Read about the experiences of three families who have immigrated to Australia, and the challenges facing migrant parents all over the country.Profile: Zamzuri, a dad from MalaysiaProfile: Maria, a mum from ChileProfile: Arzu, a mum from TurkeyAt a glanceThe challengesFor further helpProfile: Zamzuri from MalaysiaZamzuri and Aziah are parents of a daughter, aged eight, and two sons, aged six and four. The family migrated to Australia from Malaysia. They’ve faced problems with language and with finances.Zamzuri ‘We arrived in Australia in 2005, after spending five years in Sweden. We are originally from Malaysia. We left our home country so I could further my studies in industrial design, to complete a Masters degree and PhD.‘Because we’re here on a tertiary studies/research visa, we have found it very difficult financially. Before we came we had to make sure our children were booked into a school and we needed to pay $7000 just so they could attend a government school. We also had to have private health insurance for all the family before a visa could be issued.‘Compared to Sweden, living in Melbourne has been very difficult because it’s so expensive. We are not eligible for any government support or Medicare, so going to the doctor and educating the children is very expensive. To get an affordable house you need to move a long way from the city. But then you need a car because Australia is such a big country. ‘My wife, Aziah, was a teacher in Malaysia – she taught English and mathematics. But even though she speaks English well, she cannot get a job because of her accent. So she works part-time as a housekeeper and I work as a cleaner before and after I go to university. Even if she did work more, we would need to pay a lot for child care, so it’s not worth it. Because of these problems, my wife isn’t so happy. She is always so tired from looking after the children and working. Sometimes she even takes the children to work with her because she has no other choice. Sometimes they come with me to the university.‘When we first arrived my eldest daughter had a very hard time with the language because she only spoke Swedish and Malay. It took her six months to learn English and she would come home and cry every day. Now she speaks very well, even with a good Aussie accent! The other two haven’t had so many problems because they are younger. But we are not sure about where we will go in the future. Because the children have grown up here, we want to stay in Australia so they can keep their English language skills. If we return to Malaysia, they might lose the language.‘Because there are many people from Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia living in Australia, it’s not as much of a shock compared to living in Sweden. There we were the only Malaysians in the north of Sweden. Here we feel much more a part of the community in a cultural sense.’Profile: Maria from ChileMaria, her husband Juan and their two daughters moved to Australia from Chile 20 years ago. At the time, her two daughters were teenagers and faced many difficulties getting used to Australian society. Their daughter Isabel is now 34, and Rebecca is 32.Maria ‘I came to Australia from Chile 20 years ago when my girls were 12 and 14. We came because my mother-in-law and father-in-law were here and we wanted to give our girls a better opportunity for the future.‘When we arrived it was so hard. I didn’t speak English and my girls didn’t either. Only my husband spoke a few words. We suffered very badly because of this. We couldn’t communicate, I couldn’t explain things properly to people, and I became very sad. We had to rely on a migrant resource centre to help us. We did courses there and slowly picked up some language. The girls did some courses before they started high school but it was very hard for them. I’m a teacher and I couldn’t work and couldn’t help them with their homework. Also, when we arrived there wasn’t much help for migrant families. It would have been easier with some advice on becoming part of the Australian society and surviving in it, economically and socially. We needed help on so many topics but we couldn’t get it.‘I would suggest to people not to go to another country when the children are that age. Maybe if they’re younger it would be OK, like four or five years old. That way they can still learn the language before school and learn about the society. For my girls it was very hard. They were very homesick and they suffered a lot and always asked, ‘Why did we come here?’ I always said, ‘It will get better,’ but they kept saying that it wasn’t getting better.‘There was always a big gap for the girls being here. At first they tried to make friends with Spanish people. Now they feel better, they have friends and don’t feel so alone. For me there was always a spiritual and emotional gap that can’t be filled in this country. It’s from a lack of my own culture and being in a country where there are so many different cultures. This has affected our girls – they see their parents feeling a bit lost and empty. We keep in touch with our culture by speaking Spanish, eating Chilean food and talking to our relatives in Chile. But we miss so many things from our old life.’Profile: Arzu from TurkeyArzu is a 32-year-old mother of baby girl Lorin, who is 5 months old. The family lives in Broadmeadows, Victoria.Arzu ‘I immigrated to Australia from Turkey in 1999. I moved because I wanted to join my fiancé, who had immigrated to Australia. We had met in Turkey while we were both studying. We eventually got married in Australia.‘The hardest thing about migrating for me was being separated from my family. This feeling has been especially strong since I’ve had Lorin – I would like to have my mother around. Although my husband has family here, I didn’t know anyone when I arrived. But I haven’t felt lonely because I made a good group of friends in the local area who I see often.‘My attitude, when I came to Australia, was to remain positive and not become disillusioned, because I knew we would probably be here for a long time. I did 510 hours of English classes and then completed a Diploma of Business and Accounting. Although I’ve found it difficult to find a job, my impression of Australia is that it provides many good opportunities for education and a healthy life. In the future I hope to get a job in the area of accounting. At the moment, my husband supports us as a bricklayer.‘I’ve really appreciated the level of services in Australia, in particular the health and interpreting services. The health services are much better than in Turkey. Once a week I visit the local maternal health centre where midwives teach us about parenting. I really enjoy this and seeing other mothers from the local area.‘I’ve been back to Turkey twice since I’ve been living in Australia, but I’m looking forward to my daughter experiencing the opportunities presented here, and I intend to raise her here. If she wants to go back and live in Turkey in the future she can, but for now, I think living here will be the best for her. Of course I wish Lorin’s grandparents could see more of her, but how often we return in the future will depend on our financial situation.’VIDEOID=5716At a glanceAround a quarter (27%) of Australia’s population was born overseas. Significant proportions come from regions where English isn’t the native language, including Asia (9%) and Southern and Easter Europe (3.7%).16% of the population speak a language other than English at home.Over 400 languages are spoken in Australia, including a large number of indigenous languages.A person’s culture – their beliefs and values – can affect the way they parent.The challengesStarting a new life in another country is one of the biggest changes that can take place in a person’s life. When this change is made as a family, each member can experience the challenges in different ways. Even once a family has been in a new country for some time, it’s likely that at least some of their customs will be continued by future generations.Culture The main ways culture influences family life is through beliefs, values and actual parenting practices. Within the home environment, this might mean speaking in a language other than English, following a religious belief, cooking and eating in traditional styles, and raising children with traditional parenting styles, stories and values.Yet regardless of culture, parents throughout the world share the same basic goals for their children. They want their children to be healthy, develop skills for surviving financially, and to possess the positive values respected by their own culture. Studies have shown that in the long-term, parents from a range of cultures share the same goals for their children. These include marriage, tertiary education and having a successful occupation, as well as developing the values of self-respect, respect for others, honesty and caring.Overall, Australia is a very multicultural country, and these days there are many services to help parents with cultural challenges they may face in achieving their goals for their family.Language One of the most difficult things a person must face when living in a different country is speaking the language. Not being able to speak English in Australia can make life very difficult, and can leave people feeling very lonely and frustrated. This can make finding work difficult, as well as making everyday events harder, such as accessing community services, shopping and just being able to talk to people. If children don’t speak English, they may struggle with school and making friends.Parenting Differences between cultures in hands-on parenting practices may be observed in the way babies are soothed, the amount of physical affection shown by parents and attitudes towards physical punishment. Around the home, differences may involve the sorts of play and learning materials provided to the child and the amount of time parents spend with children reading books and teaching skills. As a child becomes older, parenting differences may appear in the way parents communicate. As long as children feel safe, loved and are given the necessary supports to become capable and mature adults, then all differences in cultural approaches to parenting are to be respected and encouraged.Parenting young children while migrating to another county can be very hard. Parents must deal with caring for children and the children’s experience of migration, as well as their own difficulties and experiences. These experiences may be both physical and emotional and may include:dealing with language difficulties and feeling isolated because it’s hard to communicateexperiencing grief and a sense of loss from being separated from family, friends, culture and identity within a familiar communityfeeling frustrated at not being able to find employment or a job to utilise their qualifications or skillsfinding it difficult to find assistance, support and services within the new communitystruggling to cope financiallyfeeling lonely, hopeless or overwhelmed at such an enormous life change, to the point where it becomes too much and they develop a mental illnessfeeling alone because they don’t feel like part of the community or that they do not belong.A parent’s ability to deal with these challenges affects how well they’re able to care for their children. A parent who is suffering emotionally and who is depressed and unhappy will be less able to respond to their child’s needs or emotional difficulties.Children Young children don’t have much say in whether they migrate – it’s usually a decision made by their parents. In some instances, the experience can be very unsettling as the child adjusts to her new life and deals with the loss of the old home while missing her friends, familiar sights, sounds and smells. The most important factor for a child’s emotional wellbeing during this period is having a stable home environment while the family adjusts to the change.Children’s experience of migration also depends on their age. Younger children and babies may not understand what’s going on. However, as they’re completely dependent on their parents, their emotional experience will reflect their parents’ experience in many ways. Toddlers, busy testing out their independence, need parents to provide a secure environment for exploration. If parents are anxious or there’s major disruption, the child might have behaviour problems.Older children’s experience of migration also depends on their sense of self and how secure they feel in their new environment. Adjusting to a new school and meeting new friends can play a big role in a child’s ability to deal with migration. Many children cope very well, particularly if they have some language skills.As children become older, they often play a central role in the whole family’s experience of migration. Children often pick up language skills faster than adults, and parents can come to rely on children to communicate for them. Sometimes no-one in a family speaks English and without the support of friends or neighbours, this can make communication very difficult. In some cases, children might find the responsibility of communicating for their parents too much pressure.For further helpFor assistance on starting a new life in Australia and finding help, the Immigration Department produces a series of booklets designed to provide you with all the necessary information in your state or territory. These booklets also include a list of ethnic and community organisations you might like to join, and migrant resource centres which can help with settling in the community. This information can be accessed through the Australian Government’s Beginning a life in Australia website.The Adult Migrant English Program (AMEP) provides up to 510 hours of free basic English language tuition to migrants and refugees from non-English speaking backgrounds. Up to an additional 100 hours is also available to refugees and humanitarian entrants through the Special Preparatory Program.Rightdid you knowDuring 2009-2010, Australia experienced a net overseas migration (arrivals minus departures) of almost 220,000 people. This accounted for 57% of Australia’s population growth during this period.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2008). Year Book Australia, 2008 (Cat. no. 1301.0). Retrieved December 3, 2010, from http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/DetailsPage/1301.02008?OpenDocumentAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2010). Migration, Australia 2008-09 (Cat. no. 3412.0). Retrieved December 3, 2010, from http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/DetailsPage/3412.02008-09?OpenDocumentAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2011). Migration Australia 2009-10. Cat. no. 3412.0. Retrieved 25 August 2011 from http://www.ausstats.abs.gov.au/ausstats/subscriber.nsf/0/CAC6E05106F66A13CA2578B000119F19/$File/34120_2009-10.pdfPink, B. (2010). 2009-10 Yearbook Australia. Cat. no. 1301.0. Australian Bureau of Statistics: Canberra, Australia. Retrieved August 24, 2011 from http://www.ausstats.abs.gov.au/ausstats/subscriber.nsf/0/AC72C92B23B6DF6DCA257737001B2BAB/$File/13010_2009_10.pdf04/05/200603/01/201161111Raising twins and multiplesTwins and raising twins & multiplesTwins & multiplesTwins & multiplesMultiple births000A parent of twins talks about the challenges of raising twins; includes statistics, challenges and links for more support on multiple births.0Green0-100-30In 2007, 1.6% of pregnant women had a multiple birth. Parenting multiples can be more tiring and stressful than raising a single child, but it can also be great fun. Read about one parent of twins and the challenges facing parents of multiples around Australia.ProfileAt a glanceThe challengesFor further helpProfileJanine and Michael are parents of identical twin daughters, Jasmine and Angie, who are one year old. They live in Darwin, Northern Territory.Janine‘The girls were born two months premature and spent the first seven weeks in hospital, with four weeks in a humidicrib. It was a stressful time, with all the travelling to hospital, but now they’re healthy and developing normally.‘For me, the most difficult thing has been related to breastfeeding. Because of their age, they had problems with physically attaching to the breast, and I found it really hard to get good hands-on help with the breastfeeding issues associated with twins. There’s much more help for singletons, but maybe it’s to do with where we’re living. Help is available but it means going to see people in their offices, and that’s really hard with two little babies. But we persevered and I ended up breastfeeding for 8½ months.‘The hardest thing for my husband has just been finding some down time. He’s been working full-time then coming home to full-on baby time, as well as interrupted sleep. It was constant.‘Now we’ve made it a rule in our house that Sunday is our family day. It’s easy to fall into the trap of “Oh, we’ve got to mow the lawn” or “We need to fix this and that”. Then suddenly it’s Sunday night and you haven’t spent any quality time together. Now we make sure that no matter how much work there is to do around the house, we always spend Sunday afternoon just relaxing together.‘In the future we expect that one of the big challenges we’ll face will be to do with people making comparisons. I’m constantly asked questions like, “Which one is the extrovert?” It’s not like that – you don’t want to label them. I feel very strongly about this. They can both be extroverted and they can both be reserved. It’s a matter of trying to politely encourage people not to compare them this way.‘It’s quite expensive having two children at the same time. You can’t rely on hand-me-downs and the extra expense will be ongoing. But on the other hand, it’s so much fun to watch them develop. They have their own relationship and play all these little games together. They interact in a way that is completely independent of me. It’s really nice to watch that.’Share your ideas and experiences with other parents of twins and multiples in our forums.At a glanceAround 1.6% of all Australian pregnancies result in multiple births, and 98% of these are twins.The chance of having triplets is 1 in 945, quadruplets 1 in 17 700, and quintuplets 1 in 156 000.The median age of women having pregnancies resulting in multiple babies is 30.The increase in multiple births is linked to the age of the mother (older women frequently have a ‘fertility spurt’), improved neonatal care (more premature babies survive) and fertility treatments.Around 100 sets of higher order multiples (triplets or more) are born in Australia each year.The challengesMultiple birth babies can mean multiple times the work parents must perform! But on the bright side, parenting multiple birth babies can also multiply the amount of joy and level of fascination associated with raising children.Being tired There’s no doubt that looking after multiple babies is more work and often more complicated than parenting a single baby. Parents of multiples have more expense, get less sleep and are under more time pressure and greater stress than parents of a single baby. Breastfeeding can be a real problem for mothers of multiples, with many mums unable to breastfeed at all. After the first three months, mothers of multiple birth babies are more likely than mothers of one baby to report being exhausted, having no time to themselves and being depressed.Illness, disability and mortality Two or more babies means that the space in the mother’s uterus is restricted. This means there’s an increased likelihood of premature birth (on average, twins are born three weeks earlier than singletons) and a lower birth weight. Often, premature birth is deliberate, as fetal growth has slowed or stopped (twins tend to stop growing at around 32 weeks; triplets at 28 weeks; quads at 26).Multiple birth babies are also more likely to have biological handicaps such as cerebral palsy. Additionally, the rate of perinatal mortality (the period just before to after the birth) increases dramatically for multiples: for single child births the mortality rate is less than 1 in 1000, but this increases to 19.6 in 1000 for twins, and 83.3 in 1000 for triplets. Identical babies are at greater risk than non-identical babies.Growing up in a family Often twins will ‘stick together’. This can deprive them of important interactions with others where they might learn all kinds of things, particularly language. Sometimes multiple birth children will develop their own ‘language’, which is really the result of the children re-enforcing immature speech. This form of communication might isolate them socially and can delay their speech development.The greater time pressure on parents and the increased closeness between twins often means parents are less involved with their multiple birth babies than they would be if they’d had one baby. Each child has less opportunity for one-on-one time with a parent, and the sheer busyness of parenting can make it harder for parents of multiples to be as responsive and sensitive to their children’s needs. Multiple birth children can also experience less praise and receive fewer overt expressions of affection.Each child has different needs and doesn’t necessarily need exactly the same things as their siblings. It’s important to help each child develop as an individual, as well as enabling each one to celebrate being a multiple.Within families of multiple birth children, older siblings can often feel displaced when twins or triplets arrive, especially if their relationship with their parent was particularly close beforehand. Encourage older children to be involved in the preparations for a multiple birth while making time for their needs and interests. Ensure that friends and relatives remember than an older brother or sister is very special too.For further helpAustralian Multiple Birth Association: support, resources and education for parents of multiplesTwins and Multiples: a Curtin University website about helping your multiples learnRightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesLaws, P. & Hilder, L. (2008). Australia's mothers and babies 2006. (Perinatal statistics series, Report No. 22. PER 46). Sydney: Australian Institute of Health and Welfare-National Perinatal Statistics Unit. Laws, P. & Sullivan, E. A. (2009). Australia’s mothers and babies 2007. Perinatal statistics series no. 23.(Cat. no. PER 48). Sydney: AIHW National Perinatal Statistics Unit. Retrieved 3 December, 2010 from http://www.aihw.gov.au/publications/per/per-48-10972/per-48-10972.pdf Lytton, H., & Gallagher, L. (2002). Parenting twins and the genetics of parenting. In M. H. Bornstein (Ed.), Handbook of parenting: Children and parenting (Vol. 1, pp. 227-253). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.15/5/200623/2/2011151111Parenting with a mental illnessMental illnessMental illnessBipolar000Interview with a parent who suffers from bipolar disorder; investigates the challenges and statistics to do with parenting with a mental illness.0Green0-100-30Around one in five parents with a dependent child have a mental health problem. Depression, anxiety and stress are the most common problems, and many parents are reluctant to get help. Read about one parent with a mental illness, and about the challenges facing mentally ill parents all over Australia.ProfileAt a glanceThe challengesFor further helpProfileShona is a 38-year-old mother raising two children: Janey, eight, and Andrew, 11. She suffers from bipolar disorder. Shona‘I have bipolar disorder. I’ve had it since my teens but wasn’t diagnosed until after I’d had Janey. At first they thought it was just post-baby blues and I was given antidepressants. But when I got worse on the medication, the doctors investigated further and I was found to have bipolar and borderline personality disorder.‘When I split from the kids’ father he claimed I was an unfit mother, but eventually custody worked out at 50/50. For the last 18 months things have been getting so much better than they were. Before that I was in and out of psychiatric hospitals, and I once overdosed and went into a coma for six weeks. It took me six months to walk again, I nearly died and I had to have heart surgery. Sometime after that I realised how lucky I am with friends and family and how much I love my kids. But it’s still very hard.‘My kids are amazing. The episodes when I’m high are particularly hard on them because I become irrational and they get frightened. When you’re high you think you’re capable of anything – stopping a bus, swinging off exit signs – only to forget about it the next day. I’ve been known to wake them up in the middle of the night to bake a cake. They adapt, but they get frightened because they don’t know how I’m going to react. They’re scared I’ll get mad if they break a glass or ask me to do something for them. That’s the thing about bipolar, you can be very impulsive and your judgement is impaired. When I’m down they’re able to read me better.‘But they learn how to cope. One night when I was really low and tired, Andrew said ‘C’mon Janey, let’s go make sandwiches ’cos Mum needs us to help tonight’. They have a special understanding. Because I get so low in energy, self-care is important. I have to make sure I don’t do too much and just spend time on my own and take time out.‘I am frightened I’ll lose custody next time I lose it. But the thing is, I don’t know which difficulties I experience are due to my narrowed parenting capabilities because of bipolar, and which are due to being a single parent. Surviving financially is the worst. But there is hope. I know I’ll never be cured but with the support I’m getting from services and friends and family, I have the tools to make my life worthwhile, and a good future for the kids.’At a glanceApproximately one in five adults has a mental health problem. In individuals aged 25-44, this figure approaches one in four.From the age of 35, women are more likely to have mental health problems than men.Around 20% of people using mental health services have dependent children. Parents in lower socioeconomic groups are more likely to suffer from a mental illness.Those with a mental illness are at a higher risk for substance abuse and other health problems, particularly those in the lower socioeconomic groups. At any one time, there are approximately 1.5 million people in Australia living with a mood disorder (e.g. anxiety, depression).Around one in five people will experience depression at least once in their lifetime. More of these will be women than men.The challengesMental illness and parentsWith nearly one in five people experiencing a mental illness at some time in their life, there is a big chance many of these will be parents. Some of these illnesses will only be short term, such as being depressed for a period of time following the loss of someone close, or periods of anxiety and high stress when life is particularly difficult. Long-term mental illness includes such conditions as:bipolar disorder: a condition where a person swings between feeling like they have superhuman powers and being depressedchronic anxiety: a continuing feeling of being nervous, fearful and or excessively worried about events.chronic depression: an overwhelming feeling of sadness and an inability to see the positive things in lifeobsessive compulsive disorder: a condition where the person has uncontrolled obsessive thoughts that cause them to repeat unnecessary actions schizophrenia: a breakdown in the brain’s function between thinking, acting and feeling; this can make a person think they are seeing and hearing things and cause them to withdraw socially. Having a mental illness can make parents feel very alone. When a parent is struggling with the relationships within a family, the sense of social isolation can make things even harder. Parents with a mental illness may worry about losing custody of their children or feel guilty about not being able to perform as a parent in the way they want to. But it isn’t all bad: with support and education, parents with mental illness can parent just as well as anyone.Day-to-day difficultiesHaving a mental illness can be hard work, and parents with a mental illness can have a difficult time caring for children and providing them with a stable, predictable environment. Sticking to a regular routine or getting through the simplest day-to-day chores, such as shopping and cooking, can sometimes seem impossible. Holding down a job is often out of the question. Within the family unit, a parent may find it hard to set limits and boundaries for their children because their own judgement can be influenced by stress or confusion.In these situations, children often care for themselves more than they would in other situations, such as doing cooking, cleaning and shopping if there isn’t enough family support. Parents with a mental illness might also be unable to keep their children safe in these situations, as they mightn’t fully understand the risks their children are exposed to.Children and emotions More severe mental illnesses can have severe symptoms, such as seeing things that aren’t really there, hearing sounds and voices and thinking that people or things are ‘out to get them’. When this happens to parents, it can be very confusing and frightening for their children, who can’t understand their parent’s behaviour. Children can blame themselves and think it’s their fault. They can also feel very frustrated and angry their parent is behaving this way.All the things described above can affect a child’s development, and the worse a mental illness is, the higher the risk to the child. Not only do parents need to be able to provide their child with food, clothing and shelter, but also teach their child about social skills, problem-solving skills, appropriate behaviour and emotional control. If a parent is struggling with these things themselves, they won’t be able to be a very good role model for their child.For further helpA lack of services for people with mental illness is one of the biggest challenges facing developed countries today. Parents with a mental illness mightn’t get the help they need because their particular conditon mightn’t have enough support services or treatment programs specific to their needs. Also, some people don’t seek help because they feel ashamed or embarrassed about their mental illness.If you’re a parent with a mental illness and need some support, or worry that your child is being disadvantaged by your illness, it’s important you try and get help. This is especially important if you feel you need to spend time in hospital, are becoming violent or losing control, or are finding it difficult to cope financially.If you know someone with a mental illness, understand that your support is very important to them. Ways you can help include:caring for the children during tough timestalking to the children about their fears and confusion related to their parent’s illnesshelping the parents work out a network of people and emergency numbers they can contact if they feel afraid or alone.Mental illnesses can be treated in a number of ways: through drug therapy, counselling, psychiatric services, or a combination of these.A number of organisations across Australia can put you in touch with services that can help:Beyond Blue: information about and assistance with depressionCOMIC: provides a resource kit to help parents with mental illness care for their childrenCOPMI: tips on dealing with mental illness in the family, from other families with mental illnessKids Helpline: phone and online counselling for kids who need helpReach Out: an online service to help young people through tough timesSANE: information about – and assistance with – living with a mental illness.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2009). National health survey: Summary of findings, 2007-08. (Cat no. 4364.0). Retrieved 22 November, 2009, from http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/DetailsPage/4364.02007-08?OpenDocumentAckerson, B.J. (2003). Coping with the dual demands of severe mental illness and parenting: The parents’ perspective. Families in Society: The Journal of Contemporary Human Services, 84(1), 109 – 118.Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (2009). A picture of Australian children 2009: Parental Health Issues (Cat. no. PHE 112). Retrieved from http://www.aihw.gov.au/publications/phe/phe-112-10704/phe-112-10704.pdfAustralian Institute of Health and Welfare (2010). Australia's Health 2010: The twelfth biennial report of the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW cat no. AUS 122). Retrieved December 3, 2010, from http://www.aihw.gov.au/publications/index.cfm/title/11374Centre of Community Child Health (2004). Parenting information project, Vol 2: Literature review. Department of Family and Community Services. Crnic, K., & Low, C. (2002). Everyday stresses and parenting. In M.H Bornstein (ed), The handbook of parenting, vol 5, 243–268.Lovejoy, M.C., Graczyk, P.A., O’Hare, E., & Neuman, G. (2000). Maternal depression and parenting behaviour: A Meta-analytic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 20,(5), 561–592.Mowbray, C., Schwartz, S., Bybee, D., Spang, J., Rueda-Riedle, A., & Oyserman, D. (2000). Mothers with a mental illness: Stressors and resources for parenting and living. Families in Society: The Journal of Contemporary Human Services, 81(2), 118–129.15/5/20063/1/2011101111DadsDads1000Green0-100-30Many fathers say the biggest issue they face is balancing work and parenting.More than 15% of dads who work 35 to 40 hours a week wish they could work less. And the average father in a couple spends only 2.3 hours a day with his kids (compared to 5.8 hours for mothers). Dads also say they worry about how to discipline children, and about the best ways to show affection. For many it's hard work getting used to talking about parenting with their partner and other dads.Your guide to our websiteFor Fathers: Information for new dadsBecoming a parent: what will change?Returning to work and how it affects your job as a dadParents and teamwork: learning to work with your partnerChild support: what is it and what does it cost?Playing with newborns: what kind of play does your baby enjoy?Breastfeeding: how dads can helpFamily management: how routines help your family run smoothlyMeet other dads and talk about parenting on our forumsRightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles17/5/200624/8/20101111/fathers/fathers.htmlIndigenous parentsIndigenous parentsIndigenous parents000Challenges facing Indigenous parents, statistics on Indigenous parents and the story of one Indigenous mother raising two girls.00-100-30Many Indigenous parents rely on strong family ties to help with parenting. The challenges for Indigenous Australians include low income and low employment – these are factors that can make raising a child extra difficult. Read one Aboriginal mother’s story, and find out about the challenges facing Indigenous parents around the country.ProfileThe challengesFor further helpProfileMarvonia lives in Sydney, New South Wales, with her two daughters, who are aged 11 and 2½.  Marvonia ‘I live in a metropolitan area of NSW. I’ve got my own place, a three-bedroom house from the department of housing, and two kids – one’s 11 and one’s 2½.‘I think I’ve had it easy as a parent. I’ve had a lot of help from my mum and dad. They helped me a lot raising the first one. I had her when I was 17 and because they helped me, I was able to go back to school and finish my HSC. ‘When the second one came along it kind of hit me a bit because I had to do it all over again. But it was pretty easy because I had such good family support. A lot of the friends I grew up with still see each other, and we help each other out. So we’ve got community support.‘The rest of my family is pretty good too. I’ve got some up on the north coast and some out west. They all still live off the land. Because we live in Sydney I take the girls to see them up in the bush, and the family teaches them how to catch turtles and go fishing and camping and all that.‘The most important thing I want for my kids is for them to finish school and get a job and then they can look after me! A lot of our kids don’t get to finish school, but I’m going to be one of those parents who push their kids through. If I think of the future I’m mostly worried about peer pressure and drugs and alcohol. When we were kids in Redfern it was all there but it wasn’t showing much – people drank and did drugs behind closed doors. But now they just do it in front of kids, out in the open.‘Raising the girls on my own has been the hardest part of being a parent. It’s really hard for me to get a job at the moment because of their ages. The cost of day care has gone up heaps so that makes it difficult. But my kids have always gotten everything they’ve ever really needed. They’ve never gone without.‘I’ve got my own car and after finishing school I worked in a number of jobs for National Parks and Australia Post. Now I’m a qualified Aboriginal health worker and I’ve just been offered a job through the council as a child care worker.’Share your ideas and experiences with other Indigenous parents in our discussion forums.The challengesCulture Indigenous families are faced with the difficulties of bridging two cultures – maintaining links to traditional ways while adapting to non-Indigenous ways. In addition, many different cultures exist within the Indigenous groups across Australia, each with their own styles and traditions of parenting. The cultural differences can depend on residence (urban, rural, remote area), adherence to traditional ways, spoken language and ability to interact using mainstream non-Indigenous ways.Health and wellbeing Indigenous people are more likely to die younger, have lower levels of income and education, have higher rates of unemployment, lower rates of home ownership and live in more crowded conditions. Other problems such as violence, abuse and neglect are seen in higher rates in Aboriginal communities than other Australian communities, particularly violence towards women. All these problems are associated with generations of trauma, stress, unresolved grief and socioeconomic disadvantage. Each can impact on the ability to parent.There’s evidence to suggest that difficulties in the early years of a child’s development contribute to poor health education and other social outcomes (education, employment, delinquency, substance misuse, etc.).Family One major difference between Indigenous and non-Indigenous families is the way the family unit is viewed. Typically, Indigenous households include extended family members to a greater extent than non-Indigenous families, and these people play a greater role in parenting and decision making. Grandparents and extended family members not only play an active role in child care, but also in education and passing on cultural knowledge, customs and family beliefs. Therefore, the concept of parenting in Indigenous communities not only relates to the child’s immediate parents, but also extended family and kin. In some cases, however, young parents who rely on their extended family for parenting support are also less likely to consider using other available services, such as health and community services.Perceptions Because of the factors mentioned above, and the fact that many basic ways of life for Indigenous Australians are in conflict with modern Western culture, Indigenous parents often face the judgement of other Australians who perceive their conditions as a sign of bad parenting. This can result in children being marginalised at school, and in non-Indigenous parents being favoured in family law court custody disputes. Indigenous children and families depend on informed, sensitised non-Indigenous people to assist with services, policy development and functions that impact on their everyday lives, as there are generally few representatives from the Indigenous community in these areas. Competent services should be able to respond with sensitivity to people’s cultural backgrounds.For further help For more information, see our page on support services for Indigenous Australians. RightThis website respects the cultural protocols of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people and communities. Readers should be aware that the site may contain, or link to, images of deceased people.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2008). The health and welfare of Australia's Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. Retrieved from http://www.ausstats.abs.gov.au/ausstats/subscriber.nsf/0/51B575E133A75C6DCA2574390014EDFE/$File/47040_2008.pdfAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2009). Experimental estimates and projections, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Australians, 1991 to 2021 (Cat no. 3238.0). Retrieved December 3, 2010 from http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/DetailsPage/3238.01991%20to%202021?OpenDocumentEades, D. (1992). Aboriginal culture and the law. Continuing legal Education Department, Queensland Law Society Inc.: Brisbane. Malin, M., Campbell, K., & Aguis, L. (1996) Raising Children in the Nunga Aboriginal way. Family Matters, 43.Malin, M. (1990) The visibility and invisibility of the Aboriginal child in an urban classroom. Australian Journal of Education, 34,(3), 312 329.16/05/200620/11/200941111Parenting with an intellectual disabilityIntellectual disability000This article includes interviews with intellectually disabled parents, and discusses the challenges and statistics on developmentally delayed parents.00-100-30In 2009, 3.1% of Australians were living with an intellectual disability. For those who are parents, it can be a lack of suitable support services, rather than their disability, that can make it hard to cope. Read these parents’ stories and learn more about the challenges facing intellectually disabled parents.Profile of Tony  Profile of James  At a glance  The challenges  Share your ideas and experiences with other parents with a disability in our discussion forums.Profile of TonyTony has a 10-year-old son and a daughter who’s nearly 12. His children spend time with him during the week at his house in Glenroy, Victoria. Tony is 46 years old.Tony‘My kids live with their mum most of the time – we’ve been separated for three and a half years, but before that, we were married for 14 years. We’re lucky because we’ve got a really good relationship and we didn’t go through the courts to sort out custody. We agreed that she would stay in the house with the kids until they’re old enough to do their own thing. They’re happy living there and going to school.‘My ex-wife has been great looking after the kids and she understands that I need support in certain areas. I have a learning disorder, problems with reading and writing. This means I can’t help the kids as much as I’d like to with their homework. It can be very frustrating for me when they want me to do things that I just can’t manage. When they were little it wasn’t as much of a problem — I changed nappies and helped around the house as much as I could while my ex-wife was working.‘Just recently we came to a new arrangement where one of the kids stays at my house once a week. The goal is to have both children once a week, but we’re still working towards that. Before, they didn’t want to stay with me because there was nothing to do and they got bored. But we did a parenting program over the last 18 months and it taught us how to keep the kids amused at my house – now my place is more kid-friendly. My daughter loves craft and making things so we’ve got an activities box for that. On the other hand, my son just wants to go go go until he drops – bike riding, cricket, Play Station, playing with other kids. He’s got ADHD and he can get frustrated and angry. The parenting program also taught me how to deal with his ADHD and how to deal with my own stress and frustration by working out strategies to calm us both down. Now both the kids say they love coming to stay with me and it helps give my ex-wife a break. We couldn’t have got there without doing the program.‘I’ve loved watching my kids grow up and change. They know that I spend a lot of my time volunteering with the SES and at a nursing home, and they understand that sometimes our visiting arrangements need to change at the last minute. They also love that I do this work and they can see that helping people is a good thing. This year my goal is to do a TAFE course in reading and writing so I can help them more as they go through school. ‘I think I’ve taught them, through the things I do and the way I try to work things out, not to give up easily and to give everything a go. My main wish for the future is for them to be happy and do the best they can. My dad never forced us to do anything and he let us make our own decisions about what we wanted to be. I want my kids to do the same and I want them to appreciate life as they go along. That’s what's most important to me.’Profile of JamesJames, aged 51, and Donna, aged 36, are the parents of 16-month-old Daniel. Both parents have an intellectual disability. They live in Heidelberg, Victoria.James ‘For ages I used to walk past Donna’s house and ask her to go out with me. Every time I did she’d tell me to go away. Finally though, we ended up going to the movies and her mum made her nephew go too, to keep an eye on me. We hit it off after that. Eventually I asked her to marry me and when she said yes, I reckon I was the happiest bloke in the whole of Heidelberg.‘We’d always wanted to have a baby. When Daniel came, he changed my life. He’s the best little boy, even his grandma said he’s special. He loves his grandma. She lives across the road and helps us out a lot. You know how much he loves his nan because the first words he said were “Nan-Nan”. His grandma helps Donna through the day with all the washing and cleaning and housework. We also get a lot of help from our family friend Peter. Peter’s my best friend and he knows a lot about kids because he’s had them already and he tells me what to do. My mother has only seen Daniel twice since he was born. She doesn’t want to believe he’s alive. This makes me really upset because she can’t see what a beautiful boy he is.‘Ever since he was born, Daniel’s been a perfect kid. Every night I put him to sleep at 8 pm and he wakes up at 8 am. He’s a beautiful alarm clock and gets me up for work. I work on different machinery and I get the disability pension because I have epilepsy. So I make money. But I don’t worry about money, it isn’t important. What’s important to me are that my wife is happy and my beautiful son has everything he needs.‘When I’m around Daniel I never smoke or drink. I don’t want to do things like that when I’m around him. I change his nappy, but most of the time Donna does that. She’s found that being a mum is very hard work and she gets tired, so when I’m at home I do as much as I can to help around the house.‘The best part about being a dad for the first time is getting to come home to my wife and boy at the end of the day and having a nice home-cooked meal together. I would do anything for them. We do everything together and I only let a couple of other people look after him. Sometimes he goes to child care for two or three hours while Donna and I go shopping. He eats everything we eat – if we eat cereal, he eats some, and if we have vegies and sausage, he wants some too. Then we give him a bath and a bottle of milk and put him to bed at the same time every night. He never goes hungry, he always eats everything and always has everything he needs.’At a glanceAbout 3% of the population are thought to have an intellectual disability. It’s thought that approximately 1-2% of families with children aged between 0-17 years include at least one parent with learning difficulties. Intellectual disability is generally defined as having limitations in intelligence (an IQ of less than 70) and significant limitation in the skills needed to live and work in the community (including communication, self-care, social skills, safety and self-direction). These limitations are evident before a person turns 18 years old. People with an intellectual disability can have a lot more difficulty than others in understanding ideas, solving problems, concentrating, remembering and learning new things. Intellectual disability can result from damage to the brain before or after birth, through either genetic causes or by external (environmental) factors. The challengesPeople with an intellectual disability can be good parents.One of the biggest challenges people with a learning disability face is simply battling the view that they can’t make good parents. For a long time it’s been assumed that parents with an intellectual disability are unable to fulfil the duties of a parent and are likely to neglect or abuse their children. But research has shown that having an intellectual disability doesn’t lead to being a bad parent – and it doesn’t necessarily lead to neglect and abuse.One of the reasons this view has been around for so long is because most research on parents with a disability has focused on the failings and difficulties faced by these parents, and the problems observed in their children. What these parents can do, the positive aspects of their lives and the positive outcomes in their children, have mostly been ignored.External factorsIt’s been shown that IQ doesn’t determine a parent’s ability to raise children. Like all parents, some parents with a learning disability adapt to the job better than others. Instead, a combination of commonly-experienced factors that make it hard to live in the community are more likely to affect a person’s ability to parent. These include:poverty, unemployment, substandard housing high stress, being poorly treated throughout life, depression, poor self-esteem poor physical health no-one to look to as a role model for parenting inability to get hold of parenting information that is useful or useable not enough friends and family to help with advice, and practical and emotional support not enough formal services for parents with an intellectual disability. People with learning difficulties can make good parents, provided they are given the right amount and type of support for the challenges they may face. These challenges are often related to how much difficulty a parent has in coping with everyday responsibilities and whether they’re affected by additional medical conditions. These factors can make the task of raising a child more difficult. Responsibilities such as ensuring the health and safety of a child, and providing suitable child care, can become difficult too. The degree of these difficulties depends on the level of a parent’s disability and the amount of social support a parent receives.Worries about being judgedBecause parents with intellectual disabilities show a wide range of capabilities and confidence in their parenting roles, every person’s situation is different. In fact, most people with learning difficulties will often display no outward signs of their difficulties.It’s believed that many parents with intellectual disabilities don’t ask for help from support agencies because they’re worried they’ll be judged as poor parents, and that their children will be removed by welfare agencies. These fears are understandable as the service system in place is still dominated by the view that people with intellectual disabilities are unfit to parent.Accessing support servicesThere’s a lack of suitable support services for people with an intellectual disability who are raising children – this is demonstrated by the high rate of parents with an intellectual disability involved in the welfare system. When assistance is provided by welfare agencies, it’s done on a case-by-case basis. However, often this assistance fails the parent by not teaching the parenting skills needed. It’s been shown that when the right sorts of teaching methods are used to instruct new parents, they can develop the right skills to successfully raise children.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2009). Disability Australia. Cat. no. 4460.0. Retrieved 31 August, 2011 from http://www.ausstats.abs.gov.au/ausstats/subscriber.nsf/0/C2CB52449D58E51ACA25788100166FBC/$File/44460_2009.pdfAustralian Institute of Health and Welfare (2008). Disability in Australia: intellectual disability (Cat. no. AUS 110). Retrieved 22 November, 2009, from http://www.aihw.gov.au/publications/index.cfm/title/10582Mildon, R., Matthews, J. & Gavidia-Payne, S. Best practice in parenting education. Understanding and supporting parents with learning difficulties. Victorian Parenting Centre.IDSC – Department for Families and Communities. About Intellectual disability. Retrieved 22 September, 2011 from http://www.idsc.sa.gov.au/publications/data/pdfs/IS%20About%20Intellectual%20Disability.pdf15/05/200612/10/20111111Jodes' story: mum to everyoneParenting in a big familyA big familyA big family000A big familyA parent's story from Practical Parenting magazine: an interview with the mother of six children.00-100-30Jodes Kardol-Moore is the proud mother of five – soon to be six – children. In her 15 years as a parent, she says, her role as a mum has taken many different turns.“I am 31-weeks pregnant. I realised one day as I was reading Practical Parenting that I am, or have been, in all ‘mum’ categories.“I was a young mum. I had my first baby at the age of 17. Like the other young mums sometimes featured in your stories I too received ridicule from older mums and other people in general; the looks, the stares, the horrible comments. Despite this negativity I never regretted having my first child so young. She was a much-wanted and much-loved baby.“At 21 I had my second baby. Again I was subject to disapproving stares and remarks, even from loved family members. But I was proud of my two gorgeous girls. They were my life. At 22 I got married to my daughters’ father, and we then went on to have our son. By the time I was 24 I was married with my own home and three adorable children. It was hard, but it was also the most rewarding job I could have hoped for. I loved my choice of career.“After 18 years with my husband (we had been together from the age of 14), we went our separate ways. I was now the single mum. Having three children to look after on my own was not easy. In fact, I found it very difficult at times. I had a 14-year-old, an 11-year-old and an eight-year-old depending on me. But I still enjoyed being a mother. Again I was stereotyped, this time as the ‘single’ mum. With no family nearby and no close friends it was lonely at times, but I think it was my children who kept my feet on the ground.“Today I am involved with a marvellous, loving and caring man named Mick. We were neighbours and good friends before we became a couple. Mick was a great support for me and my children. He accepted them as his own. They love him, and he loves them. We moved in together and became a new family.  Mick has two gorgeous girls of his own, so now I have another mum title to add to my list. I have become the stepmum. I have found it to be a lovely and rewarding experience. It’s been both joyous and stressful but I love it. I love Mick’s girls as if they were my own.“Joining our two families has not been easy, but we have all adjusted well. Our children range in age from seven to 15. There are my kids: Tia, 15, Brooke, 12, and Brady, nine. Mick’s girls are Kayla, 10, and Tia, seven. By a huge coincidence we both have daughters named Tia! It’s very funny at times. We are a big Brady Bunch (and my son’s name is Brady!).“Now, at the age of 32, I am about to be the older mum. It has been nine years since I last had a baby. Finding out I was pregnant was scary at first. But it was also very exciting. Mick and I had spoken about having a baby of our own; something special for us to share and a special baby that showed our love for each other. We had started to plan the ‘right’ time to have this little miracle, but it was only within a month of trying that we became pregnant! Having to tell our families about our new happiness was hard; I felt as if I was 17 again and telling them I was pregnant for the first time. As could be expected they were shocked and worried. But Mick and I were excited, and our little Brady Bunch was over the moon when we told them.“Being 31 weeks pregnant with a baby girl to Mick is wonderful. She is due mid March – 15 years after my first baby (Tia will be 15 a week before the little one is due – another coincidence). We all shop for the new arrival as a family, and everyone helps me choose her new little outfits. The kids love to feel her kicking me, and we listen to the heartbeat together. They’re all greatly anticipating the birth of their baby sister.“It has been wonderful to be able to share this pregnancy with all the children. My two eldest girls understand everything that is happening inside my body, and both have found it to be a great learning experience. They sit with me and read all my baby books and magazines, asking me great questions along the way. We have a lot of fun together. They call me their cool mum. I have the crazy coloured hair, the trendy clothes and listen to the same music they do. We are more than mother and daughters – we are friends.“I’ve received mixed responses from different people about this pregnancy. Once I tell people that I have a 15-year-old daughter and that this will be baby number six for Mick and I, I get comments like: ‘Wow, you’re keen!’ Sometimes I even get: ‘Are you crazy? Why would you want to do it all over again? You’ll need a mini bus to cart them all around’.“I’m still amazed at how negative and narrow-minded people can be and it seems that in the 15 years since I had my first baby, nothing much has changed.“I love all my children more than life itself. I love being a mum. As a young girl I remember all I wanted was to be a mum. Whether it be in the role of young mum, single mum, step mum or older mum, one thing still remains the same for me: I’m a mum – a good mum. I give my children love, nurturing, friendship, respect, understanding … and lots of cuddles.“I am so looking forward to sharing the joy of our impending addition, not only with Mick, but with all of our children. We are one big happy family. What more could I ask for?”Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/05/200615/05/20061111Raring to go!Premature birth: parent storyPremature birthPremature birth000Premature birthA story from Practical Parenting magazine about a mother whose second child was born six weeks premature and gave her a big surprise00-100-30Sevil and Shaun Perry’s firstborn was an early arrival so they were expecting the same with baby number two ... but they hadn’t bargained on some real live action with six weeks still to go!“My firstborn was five weeks early and was in special care for about two weeks. The labour was very different to what I would experience the second time around.“I was preparing myself for another premature delivery but it still took me by surprise when my little one decided to nudge six weeks early. My husband, Shaun, and I visited the clinic for our weekly visit at 6.30am – we’d usually go in together and catch a train to work afterwards. During this visit I mentioned to my midwife that I was feeling a little discomfort in the pelvic area. The feeling was coming and going, and I asked whether the baby was engaged already. She checked the baby’s position and said it was fine, that it was sitting on top of the pelvis and hadn’t engaged yet. She told me that what I was feeling around the pelvic area was normal at this stage.“Shaun and I headed off to work by train but I couldn’t help thinking about this feeling of discomfort. We sat talking about it and Shaun decided to time it to see if there was a pattern. He found the discomfort was four minutes apart and lasted about a minute. It wasn’t painful at all but we were quite surprised about it – we certainly gave the people on the train something to talk about.“I still arrived at work in time to make an 8.30am meeting. I mentioned to my manager that the midwife had just checked me and that while I wasn’t 100 per cent sure, I thought I was having contractions. She asked me to go home straight away but I wanted to go to the meeting and eat the gorgeous breakfast they had every week. I thought to myself that if I was eventually going to hospital, the last thing I wanted to do was to arrive there hungry. You can imagine the conversation going around the boardroom table by this point!“By 9am the contractions were more definite and I somehow knew that this was going to be it. However, in denial, I decided to call the hospital to ask their advice. The midwife said not to worry at this stage and advised me to take some paracetamol and get some rest.“However, I decided to go with my intuition and head to the hospital straight away. Unfortunately, the peak-hour traffic meant I couldn’t risk taking a taxi. So, I decided to take a 25-minute train ride. I sat on the train with one hand stroking my belly. The contractions were now four minutes apart and intensifying, but I tried to concentrate on calming myself rather than getting too excited. I was also thinking about what was ahead of me.“When I got to the hospital at 10am, they put me on monitors to see if I was in labour. Not only was I in labour, but I was 3cm dilated. At this stage the contractions were getting stronger by the minute.“As I concentrated on my breathing I quietly watched the midwives all frantically running around to get things organised. A drip was put in my arm and I was given gas to quickly help me cope with the pain, but I had no idea what was going on as the pain was so intense. I asked someone to call my husband, as I needed his support. I kept requesting an epidural for some pain relief but was only given gas. Shaun arrived at 1pm, and by this stage I was 5cm dilated, completely exhausted and in shock from the pain.“I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t been given an epidural when I’d asked for it half an hour earlier. The gas didn’t do anything for me, except make me say anything and everything that was on my mind, and the pain was becoming more excruciating.“At 1.45pm a different midwife arrived to see how I was doing. I told her I wanted an epidural and how the other midwife had declined my request, and she said: ‘That’s okay darling, I’ll organise it for you. However, I’ll need to check how dilated you are, and we can go from there. If you’re more than 8cm dilated there is no point giving it to you’. I told her there was no chance of me being more than 8cm, as I was only 5cm dilated half an hour earlier.  She examined me and said: ‘Sweetheart, you are 9cm dilated and you’re pretty much ready to push!’ I thought that couldn’t possibly be true – there was no way I was ready yet.“I gave a little push, however, and the contraction pain slowly went away – replaced by a different and familiar feeling, the urge to push. With one push the head had already shown. With the second, it came out. With a little more my baby boy came out, weighing 2.82kg. I slumped back into the bed as they whisked him away into the special care unit, where he would end up spending two weeks because he was premature. I was exhausted.“With my first baby, I went through 28 hours of labour with the help of Pethidine, sleeping tablets and an epidural. It was completely different with my second birth – four hours of labour and no pain relief.“I now look at my son, Deren, who is healthy and strong, and think about what I went through. But it’s all worth it when I smell him, feel him and watch him smile at me. I would go through it all again, and I’m already thinking about having a third baby in a couple of years time.”Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/05/200615/05/20061101Raising foster childrenFoster parentsFoster children - raising000An overview of the challenges and benefits of being a foster parent, including key statistics and the stories of a foster father and mother. 0Green0-100-30At 30 June 2009, there were 34 069 children in out-of-home care in Australia. About half of these were living in foster care and the other half lived with relatives. Foster children often come from abusive or neglected backgrounds and caring for them can be a challenge. It can also be very rewarding. Read about the experiences of two different foster parents and also about the key issues facing Australian foster carers.Profile of a foster fatherProfile of a foster motherAt a glanceThe challenges  Profile of a foster fatherClyde is a foster father and also has two biological children. He and his wife live in Shepparton, Victoria.Clyde ‘My wife and I have been foster parents for about 25 years. We’ve cared for about 250 children. We had two children of our own, but after that we decided to help other children.‘We really enjoy what we do. We’ve still got four kids from two families here, ranging from four to 12. They’ll stay with us until they’re independent. We’ve had another seven children who’ve grown up with us. Some kids we’ve had for two or three years then they go back home. Some only stay overnight.‘In the past we’ve had up to eight or 10 kids at once. We’ve always concentrated on family groups. The main reason kids end up in care is because the parents aren’t able to look after them properly – domestic violence mainly, and sometimes neglect or drug abuse.‘Getting the kids to fit in can be a bit of a challenge. A lot of these kids don’t have any boundaries when they come into care – at home they’ve been allowed to do what they like. We deal with disturbed behaviour by having firm boundaries, like set bedtimes, and outlining consequences. After a few days they realise that’s how it is and most fall into line.‘We consider the children as part of our family. We also talk to them about their families and try to explain awkward questions like, “Why am I here?” We tell them their parents do love them but they can’t look after them because they’ve got their own problems. The worst thing is when kids have no contact with their parents. They often think that maybe it would have been better if they’d stayed with them. But some say, “We don't want to go back to our parents’ house, it’s terrible there”. Ultimately the system favours the parents, and the kids tend to go home until they’re old enough to voice their own opinions.‘We always try to have contact with the biological parents. Most are pretty good once they come to terms with the fact that they need someone else to look after their kids. Sometimes we go to a park or a community house for contact. With the kids who’ve been here for a few years, their parents come here.‘The children we’ve cared for generally understand what’s happening and appreciate it. Sometimes we’ll walk down the street and we’ll see a kid we cared for 10 years earlier and they’ll say hello. A few keep coming back and visiting.‘We get some assistance for food and clothing, but it doesn’t quite go far enough – not in our case, anyway. We tend to do a lot of things for the kids: holidays and camping, and we try to get them involved in sport as much as possible. But we look after ourselves too. We make sure we go out once a week and we take a week off every now and then. It’s the only way we’ve managed to keep going.’Profile of a foster motherLyn has three biological children and has cared for 25 foster children over 15 years. She lives in Melbourne, Victoria.Lyn ‘I've been fostering children for about 15 or 16 years now. I started when I was about 50. It was something I’d always wanted to do but it was a matter of the time being right. So far we’ve had about 25 children in our care; some for short periods of time, some for much longer.‘These days I mostly take little babies because of my age – it’s too hard to go running after toddlers and little children. At the moment I’ve got a little four-month-old girl and it’s looking like she’ll be adopted. She’s a beautiful little girl, but her mother has mental health issues and can’t care for her. She was placed in foster care voluntarily, as opposed to children who end up in care as a result of a court order. In situations where the parents aren’t in a position to care but can make the decision to adopt, adoption can offer children the best hope for a healthy family life.‘The challenge with babies is keeping up the energy. I tend to be tired all the time. My husband has been fantastic with the children though. When we have small babies, he’ll do the final feed of the night and let me get a few hours before they wake up in the night. Caring for small children means you have to sacrifice quite a few things, but nothing really important. It just means you have to stay home more.‘We haven’t had much trouble with behavioural problems. Children really respond to having boundaries in place, particularly small babies – routines and boundaries really help to make children feel safe and secure. This is really important for foster children. With the little girl now, I always have a routine of putting on her night clothes and singing songs and reading stories to her so she knows it is bedtime.‘The politics associated with fostering are challenging. I don’t always agree with decisions made about the child and the confidentiality issues are complicated. In the old days you weren’t told very much at all about the child but it’s relaxed more now. There are systems for exchanging information, and it’s important to know about the child’s history, behaviour and health.‘Being a foster parent has turned out to be the most rewarding thing I could have done. I do it for the children and for the families. It’s wonderful seeing a family coming together for the sake of the child and makes giving them back much easier. And my family has benefited enormously too – my children and their children are always aware that there’s always someone out there in a worse position than themselves.’Share your ideas and experiences with other foster parents in our forums.At a glanceFoster care is sometimes referred to as out-of-home care. Foster children may be in ‘kinship care’ – that is, they’re related to their foster parents. In ‘non-kinship care’, children have no biological relationship to their foster parents.Of all children living in out-of-home care in Australia, 47% are cared for by non-kinship foster parents. A further 45% are living in kinship foster care (with their extended family).An important factor influencing the outcome of children placed in foster care is the quality and amount of contact with biological parents.   The challengesBecoming a foster parent is a big decision and can require significant commitment. Foster parenting is often described as being more than a parent. The rewards include contributing and making a difference to a child’s life, but fostering can be challenging in ways that can affect carers physically, emotionally and financially. Why children are fostered Children require fostering or out-of-home care for several reasons. Some of these are: the home life of the biological parent is unhealthy or inadequate for the childthere might be domestic violence or a history of sexual assault or physical abuseparents might be in jail or suffering from drug abuse issues.parents might be suffering mental health issues or intellectual disability.Sometimes foster parents don’t know how long they’ll be looking after the children in their care. This uncertainty can contribute to feelings of instability for everyone – biological parents, children and foster parents. Sometimes care can be for only a matter of days, or it may be permanent, depending on the biological parents' situation. What makes it hard All parents – biological and foster – face challenges, but foster carers may have additional stresses that include:feeling there’s no-one to talk to when a crisis occurs, and finding it stressful to deal with children's complex needsfeeling there’s inadequate training and support for dealing with foster children’s specific needsfeeling frustrated they can’t access information about foster children in relation to difficult or problem behaviours or health problemsfinding it difficult to cope with the costs related to children with special needsbeing unsure of how to deal with the complex emotional reactions of children after they’ve seen their biological parentshaving mixed feelings towards the biological parents of the child in their carehaving difficulty with their own feelings of emotional attachment to the child in their caredealing with social and government agencies.One of the main issues for foster parents is dealing with foster children’s difficult behaviour, which may be violent, antisocial or sexualised. Behaviour management can be a new or out-of-practice skill for foster parents, but there are simple strategies that can help.Foster children may display disturbing behaviour because they experience many complex and disturbing emotional issues, including: blaming themselves for being removed from their birth parentswanting to return to their birth parents, even in abuse casesfeeling unwanted or rejected, particularly if they’re waiting to be adoptedfeeling unsettled about changes in foster parents, or having mixed feelings about their foster parentsfeeling uncertain of their future or identitybeing traumatised from episodes of abuse or neglect.In our Behaviour Toolkit section, you’ll find more tools to help you encourage good behaviour and deal with difficult behaviour in a positive, constructive way.Contact with biological parents It’s important to maintain continuity of all relationships in a foster child’s life in order to help them feel safe and loved. These include relationships with foster families, friends, role models and other family members.It’s widely recognised that maintaining contact between children and their biological parents and siblings is the most important factor influencing outcomes for children in out-of-home care. This contact is a key factor in the development of children’s identities and resilience, and their perceptions of security and stability. It also prepares them for being reunited with their birth families.Foster carers may find contact challenging when they have mixed feelings towards the biological parents, or if they feel the biological parents resent them. They may also feel uncomfortable if children have mixed feelings about their biological parents, or develop conflicts of loyalty between their foster and biological parents.Financial hardship Foster carers demonstrate great commitment and provide a valuable service to the community in a society that has seen a shift away from institutionalised care to home-based care. But many feel the allowances to help cover the costs of caring for foster children are inadequate, particularly for children with special needs.In these circumstances, it’s worth remembering that basic money management and budgeting can make a real difference to making ends meet.For those foster carers with children in kinship care, the financial and physical responsibilities related to full-time caring for children may interfere with retirement or other life plans.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Institute of Health and Welfare (2009). Child protection Australia 2007-08. (Child Welfare Series No. 45 CWS 33.). Retrieved 22 November, 2009, from http://www.aihw.gov.au/publications/cws/cpa07-08/cpa07-08.pdfAustralian Institute of Health and Welfare (2010). Child protection Australia 2008-09. Child welfare series no. 47. (Cat. no. CWS 35). Canberra: AIHW. Retrieved from http://www.aihw.gov.au/publications/cws/35/10859.pdf.Bromfield, L., Higgins, D., Osborn, A., Panozzo, S., and Richardson, N. (2005). Out-of-home care in Australia: Messages from research. Melbourne: Australian Institute of Family Studies.Gibbons, L., & Mason, J. (2003). Challenges faced by kinship care: A study focussing on New South Wales. Children Australia, 28(4), 12-18.Haight, W.L., Black, J.E., Mangelsdorf, S., Giorgio, G., Tata, L., Schoppe, S.J., & Szewczyk, M. (2002). Making visits better: The perspectives of parents, foster parents and child welfare workers. Child Welfare, 81(2), 173-201.McHugh, M. (2002). The cost of caring: A study of appropriate foster care payments for stable and adequate out of home care in Australia. Sydney: Association of Children’s welfare Agencies.National Child Protection Clearinghouse (2005). Child abuse prevention resource sheet, 8. Melbourne: Australian Institute of Family Studies. Pasztor, E.M., Hollinger, D.S., Inkelas, M., & Halfon, N. (2006). Health and mental health services for children in foster care: The central role of foster parents. Child Welfare, 85(1), 33-57.Scott, D., O'Neill, C., & Minge, A. (2005). Contact between children in out-of-home care and their birth families: Literature review. NSW Department of Human Services.Spence, N. (2004). Kinship care in Australia. Child Abuse Review, 13, 263-276.10/1/20073/1/20111111Parenting after IVF treatmentIVF parentsAssisted reproductionin-vitro fertilisationIVF000Personal accounts of conceiving with IVF treatment, with an overview of the challenges of IVF and common concerns of IVF parents.00-100-30For some, in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) is immediately successful. For others, the journey to parenthood can be more drawn out, with many ups and downs.Profile: one IVF babyAt a glanceChallengesProfile: a mum with one IVF babyJess is 28 and her daughter Rebecca is now 12 weeks old. They live in Melbourne, Victoria.Jess ‘Having a baby was something I’d always wanted. While I didn’t expect it to happen straight away, I never imagined we’d have trouble conceiving – those things always happen to other people.‘It was seven months before I suspected something was up. After numerous trips back and forth to the GP and a fertility specialist, tests showed that my husband’s sperm count was poor. It was suggested that we try IVF. A couple more months went by and we had more tests done. We were told that while it was still possible to conceive naturally, our chances were pretty low. After talking about it, we decided to go straight onto IVF.‘We were lucky to conceive on the first attempt. That’s not to say it was stress-free – anyone who’s been through the experience of infertility then IVF will tell you it’s an emotional roller-coaster of anxiety, waiting and unpleasant medical treatment that involves lots of hormone treatment. It really makes you appreciate what a miracle conception is. There are so many hurdles with IVF – you have to have good eggs, enough of them, they must be fertilised successfully, then they must implant. Those weeks dragged by, none more than the dreaded two-week wait after the embryo had been implanted. All the while we were gearing ourselves up for the worst at every stage, protecting ourselves so we wouldn’t fall too hard if things didn’t work out.‘Pregnancy was both an exciting and an anxious time, particularly the first 12 weeks. In fact, I found it hard to believe that I was really having a baby. It was only after the 19-week scan that we started the practical things like buying furniture – even buying clothes for the baby seemed such a personal, intimate step. But feeling her move and finding out the sex made it seem more real.‘The only complication I experienced was gestational diabetes, which I managed through diet. Other than that, I really enjoyed pregnancy, although I was glad to finish work at 32 weeks when the exhaustion kicked in.‘Since Rebecca was born, the biggest challenge I’ve faced has been feeding, but this is an issue all mothers face and isn’t related to IVF. Otherwise I feel I’ve relaxed a lot. Most of the anxiety related to infertility and IVF has passed. I just feel so relieved that the stresses of treatment and pregnancy are gone, and now we can enjoy the baby we hoped for. I sometimes think Rebecca might be the only baby we have because we don’t know how hard it will be to get pregnant in the future. So I’m enjoying every moment right now, and feel very lucky we’ve got her.’According to a 2007-2008 study funded by the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, Jess is in the lower age range for initiating assisted reproduction treatment – the average age of women initiating treatment cycles is 40.6 years. At a glanceIn-vitro fertilisation (IVF) involves creating an embryo outside the woman’s uterus, then implanting the embryo inside the mother several days later. This process can be done using the parents’ own sperm and egg, or donated sperm and/or egg.As many as one in six women have difficulty conceiving.In 2007, 3.1% of children born in Australia were conceived through assisted reproduction technologies such as IVF. In New Zealand, that figure was 1.8%.Research has shown that families who have gone through an IVF program do just as well as other families.  In 2007, 10 856 babies were born from 56 817 treatment cycles in Australia and New Zealand after IVF treatment, according to the National Perinatal Statistics Unit of the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare.The challengesIVF treatment can be a very stressful experience. Couples usually decide to undergo this form of assisted reproduction treatment after trying for a baby for some time. After trying to conceive without success, their frustration levels can be very high; they may have discovered that one or both of them have problems contributing to or causing their infertility. IVF may be a solution, but it is a physically and emotionally demanding process.IVF treatment doesn’t guarantee a pregnancy. For many reasons, some parents will find that after many IVF attempts, they still can’t achieve a pregnancy. On the other hand, some people can have success with IVF on their first go.IVF is expensive and can place parents under financial strain, adding to the stress of treatment.IVF involves many steps,all of which must be successful:the mother must take hormones to stimulate the production of eggshealthy eggs and sperm must be collected from the parents (unless they are being donated). For the mother, and in some cases father, this requires a procedure in hospitalthe eggs and sperm must fertilise to create an embryothe embryo must implant inside the mother’s uterus and develop into a healthy baby.IVF mothers can experience the same complications as other women once they’re pregnant. This can make IVF a very emotional process, full of decision-making, anxiety and difficult waiting times.Stress and anxiety IVF can be a stressful experience for both parents, with some women experiencing chronic stress symptoms. Research shows that women undergoing treatment for infertility have a similar level of stress as women dealing with life-threatening illnesses.Fertility treatment can impact on a person’s sense of control, sense of normality and their plans for the future.Parents conceiving through IVF often feel wary about becoming too excited about a pregnancy, and earlier setbacks may heighten their fears of something going wrong. After the birth, throughout their baby’s first year, they’re often especially anxious about the child’s health and safety.Twins are more common after IVF conception. This can make both the pregnancy and the first 12 months after birth more of a challenge.In the end, though, IVF parents develop positive,secure relationships with their children in the same way other parents do. Studies show that the anxiety tends to pass after 12 months, and that the overall adjustment to parenthood isn’t very different from parents of a similar age and background who conceived naturally.Impact on relationships Relationships can come under some strain because of infertility. Partners may have differences in how they cope with and communicate their feelings.There’s no evidence that the incidence of separation or divorce is any higher for couples undergoing fertility treatment. But couples who do separate are highly likely to name infertility and its treatment as a causative factor.This can be a challenging time. The best advice is to look after your relationship as best you can. Talk through feelings as they arise and try to share your anxieties with others.Difficult decisions IVF parents often face difficult questions, such as:Do we want more children?Can we fall pregnant again?Will we use IVF and will it work?Are we prepared to go through the stress again?One of the most challenging decisions IVF parents must make is deciding what to do with unused embryos. The IVF treatment process often involves the creation of multiple embryos at the one time, and these embryos are then frozen in case the parents decide to try for future pregnancies. If a couple decides not to proceed, they must consider whether the embryos should be destroyed or donated to another couple. This decision may pose ethical questions or conflict with their spiritual beliefs.IVF parents must decide what and how much to tell their children. What is the best age to tell them? How should they be told? If a couple conceives with donated sperm, eggs or embryos, should the children be told about their genetic origin? Some parents may also need to consider what to tell children born without assisted conception.Those who are considering the IVF process are encouraged to seek counselling before treatment begins. Professionals in the field have developed information, resources and guidebooks to support IVF parents in their decisions about how to handle the process and what to tell their children.Asking for help Some IVF parents give themselves a hard time if they’re having difficulty coping with the challenges of parenting a newborn. They can feel they can’t complain, and that they should just be grateful for having the child they’ve always wanted. Many are ashamed to seek help.But all parents, including IVF parents, should feel they can ask for help when they need it – after all, parenting is hard work, no matter how the baby was conceived! Keep in mind that all new parents have mixed feelings and experience a range of emotions about being a parent at times.IVF and the law Each Australian state and territory is responsible for designing and implementing separate legislation on reproductive technology. Because of this, laws and practices differ from state to state.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesGibson, F., & McMahon, C. (2004). Parenting and child psychosocial development after infertility management. International Congress Series IFFS, Series 1266, 351-358.Jones, B., & McMahon, C. (2003). Social representations of stem cell research and prenatal genetic diagnosis. Reproductive Biomedicine Online, 7(3), 268-275.Leslie, G., Cohen, J., Gibson, F., McMahon, C., Saunders, D., & Tennant, C. (2003). Children conceived through ICSI have normal development at school age. Human Reproduction, 18, 2067-2072.McMahon C. (2003). Commentary: Reproductive technology and its impact on child psychosocial development. Retrieved October, 20, 2006, from Centre of Excellence for Early Childhood Development, Encyclopedia on Early Childhood Development Web site: http://www.excellence-earlychildhood.ca/documents/McMahonANGxp.pdf.McMahon, C.A. (2004). Community concerns about sex selection: Research as a way forward - response to Edgar Dahl's 'The presumption in favour of liberty'. Reproductive Biomedicine Online, 18(3), 272-274.McMahon, C., Gibson, F., Cohen, J., Leslie, G., & Tennant, C. (1999). IVF families and embryo storage. In R. Jansen & D. Mortimer (Eds.), Towards reproductive certainty: Fertility and genetics beyond 1999.The Plenary Proceedings of the 11th World Congress on In Vitro Fertilization and Human Reproductive Genetics (pp. 102-108). New York: Parthenon.McMahon, C., Gibson, F., Cohen, J., Leslie, G., & Tennant, C. (2003). Parents of five-year old IVF children: psychological adjustment, parenting stress and the influence of subsequent IVF treatment. Journal of Family Psychology, 17(3), 361-369.McMahon, C., Gibson, F., Leslie, G., Saunders, D., Porter, K., & Tennant, C. (2003). Embryo donation for medical research: attitudes and concerns of potential donors. Human Reproduction, 18(4), 871-877.McMahon, C., & Ungerer J. (1998). Parenting and infant development following conception by reproductive technology. In C. Niven & A. Walker (Eds.), Current issues in infancy and parenthood: Vol 3. Psychology of Reproduction. Oxford: Butterworth Heinemann.Oke, K. (2005). Infertility and IVF an emotional rollercoaster. Obstetrics and Gynecology, 7(4), 28-30.Wang, Y.A., Chambers, G.M., Dieng, M., & Sullivan E.A. (2009). Assisted reproductive technology in Australia and New Zealand 2007 (Assisted reproduction technology series no. 13. Cat. no. PER 47). Canberra: AIHW. Retrieved December 3, 2010 from http://www.aihw.gov.au/publications/index.cfm/title/10753.Wang, Y. A., Dean, J .H., Badgery-Parker, T., & Sullivan, E. A. (2008). Assisted reproduction technology in Australia and New Zealand 2006 (Assisted reproduction technology series no. 12 AIHW cat. no. PER 43). Sydney: AIHW National Perinatal Statistics Unit.12/02/200720/11/2009101111Jude's story: a single mumSingle mumParenting reflections – single mum000in this mother's story, Jude reflects on the challenges of being a single mum to three boys, one of whom has Aspergers Syndrome, and the effort she makes to maintain a sense of family.0established0-100-30Jude reflects on the challenges of being a single mum to three boys, one of whom has Aspergers Syndrome, and the effort she makes to maintain a sense of family.‘My name is Jude. I am a single mum to three boys, aged four, six and eight. The eldest was diagnosed with Aspergers two weeks into his first year of school. The diagnosis was a relief as it explained so many things and gave me a better idea of how to deal with him. I never planned to be a single mum, I was married and living in the suburbs but things were slowly unravelling. Not long after my last baby was born the marriage ended quietly, in agreement and we have managed to keep a flexible and easy relationship so that the kids still go to their Dad's every second weekend.‘As a single mum working only a few hours a week, money is always tight but we manage. We saved and bought a tent and we have camping holidays in the warmer months. The boys love to get away and spend time together, especially if the van park has a swimming pool. We are saving again, this time for a camper trailer – it might take us a long time but the plan is to drive from Melbourne to Perth across the Nullabour. I've always wanted to see more of Australia and decided that, rather than leave it for retirement, I would like to make what trips I can with the boys so we can see Australia together.‘Our house isn't big, or terribly tidy. On the odd occasion, the boys might have a sandwich for dinner because Mum is just too tired to cook. Sometimes I yell too much and our grass can reach knee height in the autumn and spring. But we are a family, the four of us! I am not a perfect mother by any stretch of the imagination but I do the best I can.’Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesThis mother's story is one of the winning entries in our Mother's Day competition 2010.22/6/201017/6/20101111Kirsty's story: a new mumNew mumParenting reflections – new mum000In this mother's story, Kirsty reflects on becoming a mum for the first time and how it has changed her life.0established0-100-30Kirsty reflects on becoming a mum for the first time and how it has changed her life.‘I became a first time mum one year ago. Tuesday 21st April 2009 will forever be the best day of my life and also the most terrifying. I thought my career working within Children's Services would have prepared me for motherhood. I knew how to get babies to sleep, how to feed them, play with them and I'd certainly changed enough nappies to give me plenty of practice. But when they held up my brand new son, Hudson, a slight fear went through me. Now what?‘Weighing in at 10lbs 2oz Hudson was no light weight. I would sit in the breastfeeding room at the hospital with all the other new mums holding their tiny babies. Mine looked like a three-month-old next to theirs. Having had a caesarean, I was unable to get out of bed for 24 hours. After my partner had left the hospital and our families had gone home I tried to peer over the side of my bed to get a good look at my baby boy. The plastic tub on wheels where he was peacefully sleeping was just too far for me to see. I reached for my mobile phone, held it over the cot and took a photo of him. I looked at that photo for a long time wondering if there was some mistake. For a newborn he was just beautiful. Perfect.‘On the first anniversary of his birth, I am filled with reflection and emotion. Where have the last 12 months gone? Have I taken in all the milestones he has achieved in this time or was it all in a sleepless blur? I am still amazed by him every day. He makes me smile and laugh out loud. I have been wondering when this feeling leaves you as a parent, but I’ve realised, it's here to stay. So happy first birthday Hudson. You changed my world.’Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesThis mother's story is one of the winning entries in our Mother's Day competition 2010.22/6/201017/6/20101111Mahboubeh's story: mum in a foreign countryMum in foreign countryParenting reflections – mum in foreign country000In this mother's story, Mahboubeh reflects on her life as a first-time mum in a foreign country, learning a new language and coping without the support of extended family.0established0-100-30Mahboubeh reflects on her life as a first-time mum in a foreign country, learning a new language and coping without the support of extended family.‘When I was in overseas I have married. After marriage we were separate for seven months until my husband found his job and provided for me visa.‘Then I have started my life while I had some targets such as passing my English exam and going to work and starting a good life with my husband. So first, I went to TAFE to improve my language.‘It was just seven months from our life with each other that I found I am pregnant.‘It was unplanned pregnancy and my husband was very sad. So he wanted that I terminate my baby but I totally disagreed with him while my baby was first and I had a happy time with her while I had not any support from my family here because all of my family was in overseas. I had only friends’ support and they always have encouraged me to keep the baby and advised me that will get better.‘When I was alone or sad and in most of the time I had speaking time with my baby and it was only relaxation way that I had. One day my husband came and told me if I want that I can keep her. It was unbeliveable for me but it happened and now Mehrnaz is 22 months old and she is as a happy girl.‘I couldn’t continue my study and pass my exam but that is very enjoyable time when I speak with Mehrnaz and she listens to me very carefully and learns every thing very fast. That is really sweety time when I hear her loud laughing and when she is enjoying with every thing although I don't have any support from my family here and I couldn't get to my targets.‘Now she goes to the child care just two days per week and I try to improve my language and study to pass my exam and she is five days with me to learn every good things are in her life.’Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesThis mother's story is one of the winning entries in our Mother's Day competition 2010.22/6/201017/6/20101111Sally's* story: surviving domestic violenceSurviving domestic violenceParenting reflections – domestic violence000In this mother's story, Sally reflects on surviving domestic violence and the demands of being a single mum.0established0-100-30 Sally* reflects on surviving domestic violence and the demands of being a single mum to a two-year-old and five-week-old.‘I started out a married mother of one; I’m now a single mother of two. Did it start to go wrong eight years ago, soon after I met my 32-year-old future husband when I was 20? Or when our daughter was born in 2008? Somehow I went from an outgoing social butterfly to an empty shell. I became a victim of domestic violence.‘I struggled emotionally when my daughter was born, at the time it felt like I did everything wrong. As a mother I had let my daughter down before we even got home from hospital. In hindsight she was ill and needed the special care nursery. In hindsight I had no hope of succeeding because I was constantly being told by my husband that I was doing a bad job.‘Fast forward through eight months of crying, self-doubt and guilt as well as violence, anger and constant put-downs from my husband and I was diagnosed with post-natal depression. I went on anti-depressants and saw a counsellor and a social worker. I slowly learned to love my beautiful daughter and after 12 months it became quite clear to me, as painful as it was to admit, that I was in a violent relationship and it was affecting myself and my daughter. To make matters worse, I had just discovered I was pregnant again.‘With the help of a domestic violence support group, as well as my counsellors, I left my husband when I was 12 weeks pregnant. I was scared at the prospect of having another baby and being on my own. But to be honest, it was going to be better than having another baby and being with him still. I was angry at him for ruining my dreams. I doubted myself and my ability to do well on my own.‘Three nights after I left my husband, my daughter slept through the night. She was 18 months old and this was a first for her. She has slept through the night every night since.‘Life has been anything but easy and calm since I left my husband six months ago. Being a single mother of a two-year-old and a five-week-old is extremely hard. It's tiring and often lonely. But when I see my daughter smiling, when she doesn't wake me through the night, when she has the confidence to speak to other children - I know it's because I have removed her from a toxic environment. I look at my tiny newborn and think how peaceful he looks, how calm his little world is. I regularly feel guilty that his sister didn't have such a nice beginning, but I'm proud of myself for every day that we are away from their father.‘All that matters to me now is that at the end of the day my kids are with me, happy and safe.’*Name changed to protect identity.Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesThis mother's story is one of the winning entries in our Mother's Day competition 2010.22/6/201017/6/20101111Sharon's story: a big age gapA big age gapParenting reflections – big age gap000In this mother's story, Sharon reflects on parenting two children born 11 years apart and the challenges and rewards of such a large age gap.0established0-100-30Sharon reflects on parenting two children born 11 years apart and the challenges and rewards of such a large age gap.‘When my eldest son was 11, I was at an age where my husband and I thought that if we wanted another child we had better decide now.‘Having an only child often prompts people to ask when the next one will come along but I was happy to have only my son at the time. I was a stay-at-home mum and when we found out at pre-school that he needed a little extra help with learning and development, I was available to make him my full-time job. The extra work we did together paid off and as he got older he was happy and doing well at school.‘When the baby came there were a lot of adjustments. I was used to a little free time during school hours and a fairly good night's sleep. My eldest son coped pretty well with the shift in attention but it wasn't always easy for him. His little brother was not a good sleeper and hated the car. We were restricted in going out, sleeping and also a little financially. We had to start all over again providing baby gear. I had found my quiet life gone and had to learn about babies again, since much information had changed since the first one.‘Now my sons are 16 and almost five. They act like any other brothers - loving and fighting. The youngest looks up to his brother and emulates him to the point of being a little precocious for his age. The eldest is highly protective of his little brother but craves space too as any teenager does.‘I think the gap between what they have in common grows smaller by the year and when they are older they will be best friends and always have each other.’ Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesThis mother's story is one of the winning entries in our Mother's Day competition 2010.22/6/201017/6/20101111Planning ahead for the teenage yearsPlanning for the teenage yearsTeens – planning ahead000An introduction to some issues parents might want to consider as their children and teenagers approach adolescence, with information on planning for parenting in the teenage years.0established0-100-30Many parents worry about what will happen during their child’s teenage years. It can be a challenging time, but watching your child grow and develop into an independent adult can also be wonderful.It’s normal to be apprehensive as your child enters their teenage years. It’s a time of great change for both your child and your relationship with him, and you’ll need to adapt your parenting as you go. But it doesn’t have to be a negative experience for you or your child, especially if you plan ahead.Thinking ahead: things to considerBefore your child enters the teenage years, you might find it helpful to do some research so you know what kind of things to expect. Learning more about the physical changes and social and emotional changes your child will go through can help you understand other changes in your child’s behaviour and your relationship.Thinking back to your own adolescence can help you relate to your child. Try to remember what you went through, and how you felt. Use those feelings and experiences when dealing with your child.Teenage behaviour can be frustrating, but often it’s part of building independence and skills for adulthood. Changing the way you think about teenage behaviour can help. Arguments over day-to-day issues like school problems, housework and screen time can be tough. But they’re also a sign that your child is seeking independence, developing autonomy and confidence, and taking responsibility for herself.The teenage years aren’t all smooth sailing, and no matter what you do, you won’t be able to avoid some stormy moments. But this stage of your child’s life won’t last forever. Keep in mind that turmoil during the teenage years is a side effect of its more important purpose – transforming your dependent child into a self-sufficient young adult.It can be a good idea to plan how you’d like to deal with some common issues before they come up. Thinking about how you might respond now is much easier than trying to come up with a reasonable strategy on the spot, especially if it involves a tricky subject.Encourage independence – in a safe way. Think about how you might do this ahead of time. For example, if your 13-year-old wants to go a movie with friends, you might choose to let him go – but you might also want to set some boundaries so he’s doing it as safely as possible. The following questions might help you both in thinking about boundaries:Who’s your child going with?How is he getting there?Where exactly is he going?What time will he be home?What’s his plan if something goes wrong or changes?You might find that you sometimes disagree on these boundaries. Our article on problem-solving can help you work together to find a solution that suits you both.This is the age when you can start using a process called monitoring. This means asking questions like those above. It can be easier to introduce monitoring before the teenage years arrive – this will help your child get used to it. It can also lower the chance that your teenager will resist monitoring.Teenagers are obviously more independent than toddlers, but you still need to set limits and enforce rules, and you have the right to expect reasonable behaviour. Tell your child what you expect and what will happen if she doesn’t meet your expectations. Negotiation, communication and natural consequences might play a larger part in your discipline toolbox now than they did in the early years.A strong, positive relationship with your child can be like a bank account – if you’ve put enough savings in the bank early on, you won’t have to go into the red during challenging times. It can help to focus on having open communication, a strong connection, mutual respect and trust.Research shows that children benefit from parents who are authoritative – that is, parents who are firm about limits, but also warm and accepting of their child’s need to be an individual.Looking after yourselfHow you parent during these years depends on more than your child and how you interact with him. How you feel about what’s happening in your own life matters too. Your own wellbeing, feelings of satisfaction and your other relationships can influence how you relate to your child.If you’d like to talk to someone about how you’re feeling or your relationships, there are lots of  options. You might like to read our services and support nutshell for ideas on where to start.Getting helpIf you or your child become distressed or upset from constant conflict, or you’re concerned about other issues such as depression, anxiety, violence or abuse, it’s best to seek personalised advice from a psychologist or counsellor. Your local doctor will be able to help you find someone, or your child’s school might be able to recommend someone for you and your child to talk to. Rightdid you knowWhen parents are asked which period in their child’s development makes them the most apprehensive, the teenage years top the list. But 70% of teenagers report having a positive relationship with their families – so it’s really not all bad!A high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesAllison, B.N., & Schultz, J.B. (2004). Parent-adolescent conflict in early adolescence. Adolescence, 39(153), 101-119.Collins, A.W., Madsen, S D., & Susman-Stillman, A C. (2002). Parenting during middle childhood. In M.H. Bornstein (Ed.), Handbook of Parenting (2nd edn, Vol. 1, Children and Parenting, pp. 73-101). Mahwah, N.J.: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.Pasley, K., & Gecas, V. (1984). Stresses and satisfactions of the parental role. Personnel & Guidance Journal, 62(7), 400-404. Retrieved from http://ezproxy.library.usyd.edu.au/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=buh&AN=6476027&site=ehost-live.Smart, D.F., Sanson, A.V., & Toumbourou, J.W. (2008). How do parents and teenagers get along together: Views of young people and their parents. Family Matters, 78, 18-27. Retrieved from http://www.aifs.gov.au/institute/pubs/fm2008/fm78/ds.pdf.Smetana, J.G. (1989). Adolescents’ and parents’ reasoning about actual family conflict. Child Development, 60(5), 1052-1067.Steinberg, L. (2001). We know some things: Parent-adolescent relationships in retrospect and prospect. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11(1), 1-19. Retrieved from http://www.shouldertoshoulderminnesota.org/PDF/Lawrence%20Steinberg%20Presidential%20Address.pdf.Steinberg, L., & Silk, J.S. (2002). Parenting adolescents. In M.H. Bornstein (Ed.), Handbook of Parenting (2nd edn, Vol. 1, Children and Parenting, pp. 103-133). Mahwah, N.J.: Laurence Erlbaum Associates.11/4/201111/4/20139/3/2011111110Sally's* storySally's story000Mothers Day 2010 competition finalistThis mother's story is one of the winning entries in our Mother's Day competition 2010.0established0-100-30 Sally* reflects on surviving domestic violence and the demands of being a single mum to a two-year-old and five-week-old.‘I started out a married mother of one; I’m now a single mother of two. Did it start to go wrong eight years ago, soon after I met my 32-year-old future husband when I was 20? Or when our daughter was born in 2008? Somehow I went from an outgoing social butterfly to an empty shell. I became a victim of domestic violence.‘I struggled emotionally when my daughter was born, at the time it felt like I did everything wrong. As a mother I had let my daughter down before we even got home from hospital. In hindsight she was ill and needed the special care nursery. In hindsight I had no hope of succeeding because I was constantly being told by my husband that I was doing a bad job.‘Fast forward through eight months of crying, self-doubt and guilt as well as violence, anger and constant put-downs from my husband and I was diagnosed with post-natal depression. I went on anti-depressants and saw a counsellor and a social worker. I slowly learned to love my beautiful daughter and after 12 months it became quite clear to me, as painful as it was to admit, that I was in a violent relationship and it was affecting myself and my daughter. To make matters worse, I had just discovered I was pregnant again.‘With the help of a domestic violence support group, as well as my counsellors, I left my husband when I was 12 weeks pregnant. I was scared at the prospect of having another baby and being on my own. But to be honest, it was going to be better than having another baby and being with him still. I was angry at him for ruining my dreams. I doubted myself and my ability to do well on my own.‘Three nights after I left my husband, my daughter slept through the night. She was 18 months old and this was a first for her. She has slept through the night every night since.‘Life has been anything but easy and calm since I left my husband six months ago. Being a single mother of a two-year-old and a five-week-old is extremely hard. It's tiring and often lonely. But when I see my daughter smiling, when she doesn't wake me through the night, when she has the confidence to speak to other children - I know it's because I have removed her from a toxic environment. I look at my tiny newborn and think how peaceful he looks, how calm his little world is. I regularly feel guilty that his sister didn't have such a nice beginning, but I'm proud of myself for every day that we are away from their father.‘All that matters to me now is that at the end of the day my kids are with me, happy and safe.’*Name changed to protect identity.Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articles22/6/201017/6/20101111Jude's storyJude's story000Mothers Day 2010 competition finalistThis mother's story is one of the winning entries in our Mother's Day competition 2010.0established0-100-30Jude reflects on the challenges of being a single mum to three boys, one of whom has Aspergers Syndrome, and the effort she makes to maintain a sense of family.‘My name is Jude. I am a single mum to three boys, aged four, six and eight. The eldest was diagnosed with Aspergers two weeks into his first year of school. The diagnosis was a relief as it explained so many things and gave me a better idea of how to deal with him. I never planned to be a single mum, I was married and living in the suburbs but things were slowly unravelling. Not long after my last baby was born the marriage ended quietly, in agreement and we have managed to keep a flexible and easy relationship so that the kids still go to their Dad's every second weekend.‘As a single mum working only a few hours a week, money is always tight but we manage. We saved and bought a tent and we have camping holidays in the warmer months. The boys love to get away and spend time together, especially if the van park has a swimming pool. We are saving again, this time for a camper trailer – it might take us a long time but the plan is to drive from Melbourne to Perth across the Nullabour. I've always wanted to see more of Australia and decided that, rather than leave it for retirement, I would like to make what trips I can with the boys so we can see Australia together.‘Our house isn't big, or terribly tidy. On the odd occasion, the boys might have a sandwich for dinner because Mum is just too tired to cook. Sometimes I yell too much and our grass can reach knee height in the autumn and spring. But we are a family, the four of us! I am not a perfect mother by any stretch of the imagination but I do the best I can.’Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articles22/6/201017/6/20101111Sharon's storySharon's story000Mothers Day 2010 competition finalistThis mother's story is one of the winning entries in our Mother's Day competition 2010.0established0-100-30Sharon reflects on parenting two children born 11 years apart and the challenges and rewards of such a large age gap.‘When my eldest son was 11, I was at an age where my husband and I thought that if we wanted another child we had better decide now.‘Having an only child often prompts people to ask when the next one will come along but I was happy to have only my son at the time. I was a stay-at-home mum and when we found out at pre-school that he needed a little extra help with learning and development, I was available to make him my full-time job. The extra work we did together paid off and as he got older he was happy and doing well at school.‘When the baby came there were a lot of adjustments. I was used to a little free time during school hours and a fairly good night's sleep. My eldest son coped pretty well with the shift in attention but it wasn't always easy for him. His little brother was not a good sleeper and hated the car. We were restricted in going out, sleeping and also a little financially. We had to start all over again providing baby gear. I had found my quiet life gone and had to learn about babies again, since much information had changed since the first one.‘Now my sons are 16 and almost five. They act like any other brothers - loving and fighting. The youngest looks up to his brother and emulates him to the point of being a little precocious for his age. The eldest is highly protective of his little brother but craves space too as any teenager does.‘I think the gap between what they have in common grows smaller by the year and when they are older they will be best friends and always have each other.’ Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articles22/6/201017/6/20101111Mahboubeh's storyMahboubeh's story000Mothers Day 2010 competition finalistThis mother's story is one of the winning entries in our Mother's Day competition 2010.0established0-100-30Mahboubeh reflects on her life as a first-time mum in a foreign country, learning a new language and coping without the support of extended family.‘When I was in overseas I have married. After marriage we were separate for seven months until my husband found his job and provided for me visa.‘Then I have started my life while I had some targets such as passing my English exam and going to work and starting a good life with my husband. So first, I went to TAFE to improve my language.‘It was just seven months from our life with each other that I found I am pregnant.‘It was unplanned pregnancy and my husband was very sad. So he wanted that I terminate my baby but I totally disagreed with him while my baby was first and I had a happy time with her while I had not any support from my family here because all of my family was in overseas. I had only friends’ support and they always have encouraged me to keep the baby and advised me that will get better.‘When I was alone or sad and in most of the time I had speaking time with my baby and it was only relaxation way that I had. One day my husband came and told me if I want that I can keep her. It was unbeliveable for me but it happened and now Mehrnaz is 22 months old and she is as a happy girl.‘I couldn’t continue my study and pass my exam but that is very enjoyable time when I speak with Mehrnaz and she listens to me very carefully and learns every thing very fast. That is really sweety time when I hear her loud laughing and when she is enjoying with every thing although I don't have any support from my family here and I couldn't get to my targets.‘Now she goes to the child care just two days per week and I try to improve my language and study to pass my exam and she is five days with me to learn every good things are in her life.’Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articles22/6/201017/6/20101111Kirsty's storyKirsty's story000Mothers Day 2010 competition finalistThis mother's story is one of the winning entries in our Mother's Day competition 2010.0established0-100-30Kirsty reflects on becoming a mum for the first time and how it has changed her life.‘I became a first time mum one year ago. Tuesday 21st April 2009 will forever be the best day of my life and also the most terrifying. I thought my career working within Children's Services would have prepared me for motherhood. I knew how to get babies to sleep, how to feed them, play with them and I'd certainly changed enough nappies to give me plenty of practice. But when they held up my brand new son, Hudson, a slight fear went through me. Now what?‘Weighing in at 10lbs 2oz Hudson was no light weight. I would sit in the breastfeeding room at the hospital with all the other new mums holding their tiny babies. Mine looked like a three-month-old next to theirs. Having had a caesarean, I was unable to get out of bed for 24 hours. After my partner had left the hospital and our families had gone home I tried to peer over the side of my bed to get a good look at my baby boy. The plastic tub on wheels where he was peacefully sleeping was just too far for me to see. I reached for my mobile phone, held it over the cot and took a photo of him. I looked at that photo for a long time wondering if there was some mistake. For a newborn he was just beautiful. Perfect.‘On the first anniversary of his birth, I am filled with reflection and emotion. Where have the last 12 months gone? Have I taken in all the milestones he has achieved in this time or was it all in a sleepless blur? I am still amazed by him every day. He makes me smile and laugh out loud. I have been wondering when this feeling leaves you as a parent, but I’ve realised, it's here to stay. So happy first birthday Hudson. You changed my world.’Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articles22/6/201017/6/2010111100yes00Being a role model for your childParents as role models for teenagersBeing a role modelRole-modelling for teenagers – parents’ role; Influencing teenagers – parents versus peers000A discussion of how parents act as role models for teenagers, with tips on how parents can use role-modelling to shape teenage behaviour. Includes alcohol and other drug use information.0established0-100-30You have an important part to play in your child’s life – even if it doesn’t always feel that way. What you do and say guide your child’s behaviour, attitudes and beliefs over the long term.Being a role model for your childWhen your child was younger, your role was to lay the blueprints for his behaviour – for example, cooperating with others and showing how to take turns. Now your child’s a teenager, he can start taking responsibility for his own behaviour.But you’re still an important role model.What you do shows your child how you want her to behave. For example, how you cope with feelings such as frustration and distress influences how your child regulates her emotions. What you eat, how much you exercise, and how you look after yourself will all influence your child.What you say is also important. You can help your child to manage and control his own behaviour by talking about how behaviour affects other people. You can also use more complex reasoning and examples to talk about the differences between right and wrong. Now’s a good time for this because your child’s developing his ability to understand other people’s experiences and feelings.Tips for role-modellingInclude your child in family discussions, and give her input into family decisions, rules and expectations. These are good ways of helping her understand how people can get along with others and work together.Try to practise what you preach. Teenagers can and do notice when you don’t!Work towards a healthy lifestyle by eating well and exercising regularly. Try to avoid making negative comments about your body – and other people’s too. Not only will you be healthier, but you’ll send an important message about body image and acceptance.Show that you enjoy education and learning. If you make it seem interesting and enjoyable rather than a chore, your child is more likely to have a positive attitude to school.Keep a positive attitude – think, act and talk in an optimistic way.Take responsibility for yourself by admitting your own mistakes and talking about how you can correct them. Try not to blame everything that goes wrong on other people or circumstances.Use problem-solving skills to deal with challenges or conflicts in a calm and productive way. Getting upset and angry when a problem comes up encourages your child to respond in the same way.Show kindness and respect to others.Influencing your teenagerYou’re still an important influence on your child. Recent research shows that teenagers generally stay close to their parents, and that they value and respond to their parents’ good opinion, advice and support. Your child’s peers and friends will also be important in the teenage years. But parents and peers influence different things.As a parent, you influence your child’s basic values such as religious values and issues related to her future, such as educational choices. The stronger your relationship with your child, the more influence you’ll have.Your child’s friends are more likely to influence everyday behaviour, such as the music your child listens to, the clothes he wears and whether he picks on or bullies someone.Teenagers need you to stay in touch with them and what they’re up to. You can take an interest in what they’re doing with their friends and also encourage group activities. You might like to read more in our article on privacy, monitoring and trust.Parenting style Research shows that parents who have an authoritative approach – firm about limits, but also warm and accepting of their child’s need to be an individual – tend to have teenagers who are less likely to be influenced by peer pressure to misbehave. These teenagers are also more likely to be influenced in positive ways, such as to do well in school.Parents who are either permissive (few or no limits but warm and accepting) or authoritarian (controlling, with high expectations that children will obey rules and directions) are more likely to have teenagers who are influenced into inappropriate behaviour.Your influence over your child’s friendshipsWhen your child was younger, you probably influenced the friends she made by managing her social activities as well as actively guiding her towards certain friends and away from others.In the teenage years, you do still have an indirect influence over your child’s friends. You shape your child’s attitudes and values, which in turn shape his choice of friends.We often think that because teenagers and their friends are similar, they’re influencing each other. But the main reason that friends are similar is that teenagers choose to be friends with people who are like them.Even when you approve of your child’s friends, you might find that their influence isn’t always what you want. Peers can and do influence each other in positive ways. But peer pressure might also lead your child to experiment with smoking, alcohol and other drugs.Your influence over your child’s alcohol and other drug useYou might worry about how your child will manage issues such as alcohol and other drugs, and peer pressure to experiment. But it’s not just friends who influence teenagers in this area – you also have an influence.You’re unlikely to stop your child from trying alcohol, but you can be a role model for safe habits. The way you use alcohol and other drugs will influence your child’s attitudes and behaviour. Think about the different messages you might send if you:drink occasionally and in moderationdrink daily and heavilyhave a cigarette after every meal or with every cup of coffeesay things like, ‘I need a drink/joint/cigarette – I had a shocking day at work’, or ‘I’m getting a headache – I’d better have some Panadol’.You can also talk with your child about alcohol and other drugs, the effects they have and the risks involved. Our articles on preventing and minimising alcohol use and alcohol and other drugs in adolescence: how to help have more information.There’s no safe level of alcohol for young people under 15. The longer teenagers’ alcohol use can be delayed, the better. When young people drink alcohol, there’s a risk their brains won’t develop properly.Rightdid you knowTeenagers often end up with values, beliefs and behaviour similar to their parents’. Research has shown that young adults are more similar to their parents than they appeared to be as teenagers.A high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesBauman, K.E., & Fisher, L.A. (1986). On the measurement of friend behavior in research on friend influence and selection: Findings from longitudinal studies of adolescent smoking and drinking. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 15(4), 345-353. Collins, W.A., Maccoby, E.E., Steinberg, L., Hetherington, E.M., & Bornstein, M.H. (2000). Contemporary research on parenting: The case for nature and nurture. American Psychologist, 55(2), 218-232. Collins, W.A., Madsen, S.D., & Susman-Stillman, A. (2002). Parenting during middle childhood. In M.H. Bornstein (Ed.), Handbook of parenting: Volume 1. Children and Parenting (2nd edn, pp. 73-102). Mahway, NJ: Erlbaum. Eisenberg, N., & Valiente, C. (2002). Parenting and children's prosocial and moral development. In M.H. Bornstein (Ed.), Handbook of parenting: Volume 5. Practical Issues in Parenting (2nd edn, pp. 111-142). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.Fuligni, A.J., & Eccles, J.S. (1993). Perceived parent-child relationships and early adolescents' orientation toward peers. Developmental Psychology, 29, 622-632.Kliewer, W., Fearnow, M.D., & Miller, P.A. (1996). Coping socialization in middle childhood: Tests of maternal and paternal influences. Child Development, 67(5), 2339-2357.Mounts, N.S., & Steinberg, L. (1995). An ecological analysis of peer influence on adolescent grade point average and drug use. Developmental Psychology, 31(6), 915-922.Steinberg, L. (2001). We know some things: Parent-adolescent relationships in retrospect and prospect. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11(1), 1-19. Retrieved September 4, 2010, from http://www.shouldertoshoulderminnesota.org/PDF/Lawrence%20Steinberg%20Presidential%20Address.pdf. Steinberg, L., & Silk, J. (2002). Parenting adolescents. In M.H. Bornstein (Ed.), Handbook of parenting: Volume 1. Children and Parenting (2nd edn, pp. 103-133). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.13/01/201228/03/201220/01/2012108180111100Pregnancy: what to expectPreparing for pregnancy and parentingWhat to expectPregnancy- what to expectParenthood - preparing during pregnancy000An introduction to how pregnancy will affect you and your relationships, and preparing for being a parent.00-100-30Pregnancy is a time of new experiences - physical and emotional. Sometimes you’ll be light-headed with joy; sometimes, light-headed with nausea. And that's just partners!For most people, pregnancy is something to look forward to and celebrate with family and friends. It’s also a time of wondering how a new baby will change your life.Here are some of the things that mums-to-be can expect.You (or your partner) may be very interested in the way your baby is growing inside you. Understanding your baby's physical development in utero, called fetal development, is a first step in bonding with bub. You can see images of fetal development from conception to 12 weeks on the Australian website www.birth.com.au.You are likely to develop a fascination with your own physical and emotional changes during pregnancy. Knowing what you might experience will help you understand these changes and deal with concerns that naturally crop up during pregnancy.You might feel deliriously happy and deliriously tired and even deliriously grumpy, all at a moment’s notice (particularly in the first three months). Your body is zinging with hormones to help your baby grow. This can make you feel sick, tired and maybe more emotional than ever before. Or it might make you feel like you have loads of energy. Either way, lots of emotional swings are normal when you’re pregnant.Some of your physical and emotional experiences will also affect your partner and family, often with great joy at what you're going through.If you’re about to be a dad, you might be worried about the new responsibility you’ll have, thinking about how it will affect your worklife, and wondering if your social life is about to go out the window.You and your partner may be surprised that you also have some conflicting emotions: amid all the excitement, there could be concern or worry about how your relationship may change and how the two of you and your family will cope with the changes that a new baby brings. Talking about how you’re feeling and what the future might bring is a major part of preparing your family.If you already have children, you'll be keen to know the best way to prepare them for the new baby. Explaining the pregnancy in a way children understand is a good start. The details you give them may depend on the questions they ask.You will want to make some physical changes to your home to prepare for bub’s arrival. Creating a new space and collecting the things your new baby will need can help you and your family feel ready for bub's arrival.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesBarmard. K.E., & Solchany, J.E. (2002). Mothering. In M.H. Bornstein (Ed.), The handbook of parenting (Vol. 3, 2nd ed., pp 3-26). Mahwah NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum. Henicke, C.M. (2002). The transition to parenting. In M.H. Bornstein (Ed.), The handbook of parenting (Vol. 3, 2nd ed., pp 363-388). Mahwah NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.05/05/200605/05/200611111Changing body and emotionsPregnancy, your changing body and emotionsYour body & emotionsPregnancy - your body and emotionsDepression and pregnancy000A guide to how pregnancy might make your mind and body feel.00-100-30Being pregnant is like having the most fantastic secret in the world.Common experiencesYour relationship with your partnerRelationships with familyRelationships with friendsWhen to get helpThe changes going on in your body are so exciting and dramatic that you might wonder why your new pregnancy isn’t immediately obvious to everyone. You, your partner (if you have one) and your family will probably want to celebrate and tell everyone you know.   Your own pregnancy experience can be affected by a range of circumstances such as:whether your pregnancy was planned or unplannedhow much help you might expect to receive in raising the child (with or without a partner)becoming pregnant after a long periodmedical intervention (like IVF)whether you are in a stable or transient relationshippressure from your partner or family to become pregnant.Common experiencesFeeling over the moon: you and your partner are likely to feel absolutely over the moon about the new baby, particularly if you've been wanting to have a baby for a while.Back on earth again: you might also have some mixed emotions or find yourself very teary about how your relationships might change, about the pregnancy, or about what comes after.Hormones are a great contributor towards these feelings (which are, by the way, completely natural). In early pregnancy, generally between about 6-12 weeks, your body has lots of extra hormones to help baby grow. These can make you feel unwell. Many women know this as morning sickness, although some women feel unwell all day, and others find it starts at the end of the day. The extra hormones can also make you feel very emotional. And the fluctuations can contribute to the emotional ups and downs that some pregnant women experience.Surprised that life continues to be so normal: with such a momentous thing happening to you, it could feel weird to keep doing many of the things that you do. Working, playing sport, going for walks, catching up with people – many women feel absolutely full of energy, and are surprised at how little things really change.Yet things feel very different: even if you have surges of energy, you will probably also feel like you need more sleep than usual. Youmight even feel very, very tired, and you might not want to go out as much as you used to.For your baby’s health and safety, you are probably avoiding some foods that can harm an unborn baby and your doctor will recommend you give up smoking and recreational drugs, and limit (or stop) drinking alcohol.You might also find that you tend to forget things that you’ve never forgotten in the past. This may be the result of focusing more on the baby, as well being more physically tired. It doesn’t happen to everyone, and it’s not permanent.Amazement at your changing shape: you might develop curves in places where you never expected them. Lots of women feel extremely sexy and voluptuous when they're pregnant.On the other hand, your changing shape might be terrifying you. Your favourite shoes might pinch your feet and you might have to say goodbye to your favourite jeans, even temporarily. The physical changes that go hand in hand with pregnancy might make you feel less sexy or desirable. You might also feel that your body is no longer yours. This may influence your relationship with your partner too.Worried about giving birth: as the birth gets nearer, it’s natural to worry about labour. ‘Will I know when I'm in labour? Will it really, really hurt?’ Knowing what to expect in labour and what your options are can be a great help.Dying to meet bub: you'll probably start to wonder what your unborn baby will be like. ‘Will baby be healthy?’ is the question that most parents care about first. But there will be lots of other questions like ‘Will I grow to love my baby if it's like Uncle Theo?’ and ‘Will she have my nose and toes?’Wondering if you'll be a good parent: many men and women worry about how a new baby will affect their lives, careers and relationships. It’s also quite common for women to wonder how they will find time for themselves after the new baby arrives.New dads might find the whole thing completely surreal. Before they see the first ultrasound, they might find it impossible to believe there really is a baby. They might even forget they're going to be a dad. Usually once they hear the baby’s heartbeat or see your belly getting bigger, it begins to seem real.Your relationship with your partnerBoth you and your partner will be thinking about what a new baby will mean to your lives.You may feel more vulnerable and tired than usual and need extra support.You might need to talk about the pregnancy more than your partner does.You might not feel like sex as often as you used to.Throughout the pregnancy you will probably both begin to prepare for the changes that will come after the baby is born, part of which is accepting that there will be lifestyle changes. Typically, discussing your feelings with each other can help things settle down.Relationships with familyPregnancy brings lots of families closer. Many women in particular feel they need to spend more time with their mothers or families. Part of this stems from wanting to share the natural joy of being pregnant, and part from wondering what you will be like as a parent. It's common to reflect on your own parents and the part they played in your life. If your family lives far away or someone important to you is no longer alive, you can often feel that absence more strongly when you’re pregnant.Some people, for whatever reason, choose to no longer have their families in their lives. If your family treated you badly as you were growing up you may become very aware of how you feel about those past experiences.Relationships with friendsYou may be the first of your friends to get pregnant and some friends might not seem to understand how you’re feeling. You may find some friendships naturally fall away. Many people find their friendship circle changes during pregnancy and after childbirth to include more people with children who can relate to what they’re experiencing.When to get helpIf you’re feeling more than a bit teary and have an ongoing or overwhelming sense of sadness, futility or anxiety, seek help from dedicated organisations such as Panda or talk to your doctor. Depression can strike one in ten pregnant women. Dealing with your feelings can help you enjoy your pregnancy as you deserve to.If you feel like you are not coping, or you worry about how you will cope after the baby is born, talk to a friend or a health professional.If the pregnancy seems to be having a major impact on you and your partner or family, or you are worried about how you’re dealing with them, discuss those feelings with someone who can help.Seek help if you feel like some of the changes in your relationships are making your life worse, for example, if you feel that some important relationships are breaking up, or there are issues that are becoming a problem.In all of these cases, it would be a good idea to speak to a doctor or a relationship counsellor.RightDid you knowIt’s quite common for pregnant women to have vivid dreams about their new baby, as well as dreams about any fears they may have.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesBarmard. K.E., & Solchany, J.E. (2002). Mothering. In M.H. Bornstein (ed), The handbook of parenting, 2nd ed, vol 3, 3-26. Mahwah NJ: Erlbaum. Henicke, C.M. (2002). The transition to parenting. In M.H. Bornstein (ed), The handbook of parenting, 2nd ed, vol 3, 363-388. Mahwah NJ: Erlbaum. Pacey, S. (2004). Couples and the first baby: Responding to the new parents’ sexual and relationship problems. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 19(3), 223-246.05/05/200621101Your changing relationshipPreparing your relationship for a new babyPreparing your relationshipPregnancy and relationshipsRelationships with partner - during pregnancy000A guide to making pregnancy as enjoyable and positive as possible for both you and your partner.00-100-30Many couples’ relationships are strengthened through the joys of sharing pregnancy and building a family. Some are not. There are ways you can work on your relationship to make sure pregnancy is a positive experience for you both.Pregnancy is smooth sailing for many couples, with both partners excited and happy about how their relationship will evolve with the birth of the child. Other couples find that this time of great change also raises issues to be worked through.A number of things can affect the dynamic of the relationship, including the pregnant woman occasionally feeling:more vulnerable and tired than usual and in need of extra supporta greater need than her partner to talk about the pregnancyless interested in sex than she used to, or more interested in sex than she used to.If you’re the pregnant partner, you might even discover (and be shocked by) the fact that your partner doesn't feel the connection with the unborn baby as strongly as you do. This is likely to change as your pregnancy progresses. Your partner can't feel the hormonal changes that already make you feel so intensely in touch with your baby. But as your baby makes its presence felt a bit more – with kicks and moves and a growing bump – your partner will probably become more interested.If you both feel differently about the pregnancy it can also affect your relationship. But it’s likely your feelings will become more alike as you move through different stages of the pregnancy.Other things that might impact on your relationship:The shift in focus to include another person may cause some tension between you.Either you or your partner may be worried about having a child, including concerns about the timing of the pregnancy, its effect on your career or about losing your independence.You or your partner might worry about how you will manage financially once the baby is born.Your individual needs for sex may increase or decrease.A woman’s changing shape and feelings about herself may affect her partner.If you are both open about how you feel – good and bad – and what you expect, it will help avoid relationship disappointments. There’s no point expecting each other to be mind readers. These feelings and experiences are new for both of you, so there are bound to be some confusions and complications.Practical tipsTalk to each other about how you both feel about being pregnant and what’s to come – both the positives and negatives.Talk about the practicalities of how you would like your relationship to be – how much time you want to spend together, how you will share household tasks now and after the baby is born, what you hope for your new family, and what rituals or traditions are important to you both.Talk about your individual parenting styles and prepare for compromises if your styles are different.Be open and honest about your sexual needs to avoid misunderstandings.Go to prenatal classes together so that you both know what to expect (the hospital where you may be planning to have the baby probably runs prenatal classes). These classes are also a great place for fathers to talk about their experiences and uncertainties with other fathers (perhaps even to find that other men are going through similar things).Get financial counselling if you’re worried about the cost of having a new baby.Pregnancy is a time when relationships might need to be nurtured, simply because of the emotional and physical changes that you are both going through and the new roles that you are thinking about. If you are experiencing a lot of difficulties or arguments during pregnancy, counselling might help improve your communication.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesGottman, J.M. (1999). The marriage clinic: A scientifically based marital therapy. New York: Norton.Halford, W.K. (2001).  Brief therapy for couples. New York: Guilford Press.Pacey, S. (2004). Couples and the first baby: Responding to the new parents’ sexual and relationship problems. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 19(3), 223-246.05/05/200611101Preparing your familyPreparing your family for a new babyPreparing your familyPregnancy - preparing your family000Getting your parents and your other children ready for the birth of a new baby.00-100-30You’re probably very wrapped up in how pregnancy is affecting you and your partner. You might be surprised by how much it also affects the rest of your family.Your other childrenPreparing any other children for the new baby’s arrival is part of setting up a good relationship as your children grow together.The new baby’s brother or sister probably shares the excitement about your growing family, without knowing fully what it means. It's also normal for some children, however, to feel slightly threatened by the new baby. Your child might worry that his spotlight will be whipped away if he has seen a lot of preparation for the new arrival.Tips for preparing other childrenWhen and how much you tell your other children about the new baby depends on you and on your children’s ages. It can be a good idea to give at least a few months notice so your child has time to get used to the idea. Here are some things you can do together with your older child to help him understand what a new baby will mean to him:Read books about baby brothers or sisters together.Go through his own baby pictures and talk about what he was doing in them.Let him help come up with names for the new baby.Let him listen to the baby’s heartbeat at a visit to the doctor or midwife.Visit friends who have new babies. Your older child may want details about where the baby came from, how it got in your tummy and how it will get out. If you don’t know where to begin, there are many books about pregnancy and childbirth, written for various age groups in terms your child will understand.  You can pave the way for your children’s relationship by telling your older child that the new baby will have its own thoughts and feelings.Encourage your child’s friendships – one study found that when children have a close playmate it helps them interact with younger siblings.If family and friends are bringing gifts for the new baby, suggest they also bring something small for your other child so he feels included.If you are planning a hospital birth, explain to your child where you are going and that you will be home again soon after the baby is born.Organise for your older child to be cared for by someone he feels comfortable with when you go into labour. And try to arrange for as few disruptions to his schedule as possible when you’re in hospital. This will help your older child to feel secure.GrandparentsIf your parents are part of your life, they might be almost as excited as you are about the new addition to their extended family, even more so if this is a first grandchild. Their joy for your pregnancy can be very supportive and can help you get ready for being a parent.At the same time, grandparents might feel unsure about where they will fit into your new family.They may have concerns about their growing frailty and how they will interact with their new grandchild.They may worry about being expected to provide childcare when they feel unwilling or unable to help.It’s equally possible they’ll worry that you won’t want them around or seek their involvement as much as they’d like.They may feel too young to be grandparents!Spending time with your other family members, including parents, to help them understand where they will fit in after the new baby is born is a good investment. Issues that you might want to talk about include:how often they will visit you and vice versawhether they can babysit occasionally so you and your partner can have time alone together.RightDid you knowToddlers and preschoolers have only a basic grasp of time, so they will have difficulty understanding when the new baby will arrive.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesKramer, L., & Gottman, J.M. (1992). Becoming  a sibling: With a little help from my friends. Developmental Psychology, 28(4), 685-699.Kramer, L., & Ramsburg, D. (2002). Advice given to parents on welcoming a second child: A critical review. Family Relations, 51(1), 2-14.05/05/200621111Preparing your home for a new babyGetting home readyPregnancy - preparing homeNursery preparation000How to prepare your home for the arrival of a new baby.0Green0-100-30Adding another person to your home can raise all sorts of questions about what needs to be done, where the baby will sleep, what clothes and equipment are needed and what the cost will be.Getting your home ready can be a good way to help you, your partner and your other children prepare for bub’s arrival.Children’s needs change regularly. Usually the best approach is to organise and buy things as they are needed.A baby can fit into a corner of your room if you haven’t the time or space to create a new room. In fact, SIDS research suggests the safest place for your baby is in your room. Clothes and equipment are often handed down or can be bought second-hand to keep costs down. And most of the things you need to do to keep a newborn safe are about knowing what to expect, rather than making major changes. You can generally save all but the most basic childproofing until your baby is almost mobile.If you’re worried about what preparations you need to make in time for the baby’s arrival, ask friends or relatives with children for suggestions about what you need to do or buy. You can also discuss your baby's needs with your educator during prenatal classes.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Competition and Consumer Commission (2005). Keeping baby safe: A guide to nursery furniture.5/5/200631101Getting ready to be a mumPreparing yourself100How to prepare your body, life and finances for becoming a new parent.00-100-30The best things you can do to prepare yourself for the birth of your new baby are to:Get plenty of rest, eat well and do regular, moderate exercise.Learn about what you might experience during pregnancy and childbirth.Make practical arrangements for when your baby comes home.Talk to your partner, friends and relatives. They can help you through the emotional ups and downs that naturally occur during pregnancy.Take care of your relationship.Make decisions about your financial and work arrangements after the birth.Getting enough rest will make it easier to deal with the emotional ups and downs that some pregnant women go through.All women gain weight when they’re pregnant – it’s part and parcel of a healthy pregnancy. And although many women realise this, it can be difficult to feel comfortable about your new shape. If you eat according to a healthy eating plan it will help you feel more comfortable throughout the pregnancy. It might also mean you have less weight to lose after the birth.Regular, moderate exercise has many positive benefits. It helps you keep strong for the birth. It raises your mood, which could be unsteady during pregnancy. It helps maintain your healthy weight.Taking care of some practical arrangements will also let you relax more when the baby comes home. These can include:getting your home ready  getting extra help if you need itdeciding how you will deal with work and finances.If your pregnancy was planned, you have probably already discussed all of this, though you might want to adapt your plans as the birth gets closer. If you weren’t expecting to get pregnant, now is a good time to think about these issues.Pregnancy is such a time of change that it can help if you and your partner make an extra effort to look after each other. Talking openly about your feelings, doing things together and making decisions together can all help you prepare for this life-changing event.Pregnancy and childbirth can be extremely exciting and also a little frightening. Prenatal classes can give you and your partner information that will help you understand not just your baby’s growth, but also the emotional and physical experiences of pregnancy and childbirth. Keep in mind that these classes tell you absolutely everything you might ever possibly need to know, so you’ll find some of it won’t apply to you.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesBarmard. K.E., & Solchany, J.E. (2002). Mothering. In M.H. Bornstein (ed), The handbook of parenting, 2nd ed, vol 3, 3-26. Mahwah NJ: Erlbaum. Henicke, C.M. (2002). The transition to parenting. In M.H. Bornstein (ed), The handbook of parenting, 2nd ed, vol 3, 363-388. Mahwah NJ: Erlbaum.05/05/200609/10/201131111/articles/becoming_a_mum.htmlTwins and multiplesTwins & multiplesTwins & multiples - feedingMultiple births - feeding000A guide to how twins are formed, what to expect from a pregnancy with twins, and how a multiple birth will affect your life. Includes information on feeding multiple children.0Green0-100-30How are twins formed? Pregnancy and birth with twinsPreparing for twinsBreastfeeding twinsBottle-feeding twins Caring for twins at homeOnce you have found out that you are expecting twins it can be very exciting. It can also be scary as you think about how you will manage two babies at once.The following information aims to help you to understand more about twins and offers some ideas about how to care for them. Most of the information also applies to triplets and other multiple births.How are twins formed?Identical twins (or monozygotic twins)Identical twins happen when a single sperm fertilises an egg, and then, at a very early stage, the fertilised egg divides into two and starts forming two babies. Identical twins have the same genes, so they are the same sex. Some of these twins have their own separate placenta (afterbirth) and sac to grow in the mother’s uterus (womb) but many share the same placenta and a few also share the same sac. Monozygotic twins may be quite different sizes at birth, but they become more alike with time. They are often hard to tell apart when they are older. Identical twins do not usually ‘run in families’ and it is not known why monozygotic twins occur. Identical twins happen about once in every 250 live births.Non-identical twins (or dizygotic twins)Non-identical twins are also sometimes called fraternal twins. They happen when two separate eggs are fertilised by two different sperm so that two embryos (the beginnings of a baby) are formed. Each has its own separate place in the uterus and separate placenta and sac. They may be the same sex or different sexes. Dizygotic twins are often similar at birth, but they become less alike as they get older, as do other (different age) brothers and sisters. Dizygotic twins are more likely to happen when there are twins in the mother’s family, or if the mother has been having fertility treatment. If a mother is a non-identical twin, she has about a 10% chance of having twins herself. (A mother of twins who is not a twin herself has about a 5% chance of having another set of twins). If the father is a twin, this does not make it more likely that the parents will have twins. About two births in every hundred are dizygotic twins. There has been a rise in the number since the use of fertility treatment has become more common.Siamese twins (or conjoined twins)Siamese twins are rare. They are twins who come from the same egg (monozygotic) but the embryo does not separate completely to form two separate babies. This means that the babies are joined together in some way. Some can be separated by an operation without too much difficulty. In other cases they share vital organs and cannot be separated without the death of one or both twins.A vanishing twinWith ultrasound being done early in pregnancies, it has been found that many more pregnancies start as twin pregnancies (up to 5% at 12 weeks), but one of the babies stops developing. The other baby develops normally.  Knowing if twins are monozygotic or dizygoticUsually your doctor will work out whether your twins are monozygotic or dizygotic soon after the birth. If they are different sexes they are definitely dizygotic. Monozygotic twins are more likely to have some physical problems at birth, and also more likely to have similar health problems when they are older – so it can be useful to tell if they are identical or not. Since monozygotic twins can look very different at birth, the doctor may have the placenta very carefully examined, or do blood tests.Pregnancy and birth with twinsSome of the problems (complications) with pregnancy, such as ‘morning sickness’ and weight gain may happen earlier with twins. Twins are usually born earlier than single births, and the babies are usually smaller. The babies may be born vaginally, especially if both babies are in a head-down position, but a caesarean section may be a safer way of delivery for some twins. There are more health risks for newborn twins, but usually the risks are similar to the risks for single babies of the same weight. Because of their premature birth, some twins develop breathing problems, and will need special care, or intensive care for a while. Sometimes one monozygotic twin will be much smaller than the other, because the placenta was not equally shared. This baby may have some health problems at birth, but usually the smaller baby will have caught up in size within six months.Preparing for twinsIt is important to prepare your mind as well as your body for the twins’ arrival.Once you know you are having twins it is a good idea to start thinking about them as separate individuals so you can get to know them. You can start building your relationship with your babies by getting to know their movements and their position in the womb. You can also use ultrasound pictures to share your experiences with the babies’ father. You might feel emotionally and physically drained by the changes happening to your body. It is important to share these feelings with your loved ones. This helps them to start sharing the care. Read as much as you can about twins and how to care for them. If you get offers of help – accept! You may feel uncomfortable about this at first. Every bit of help you get will help you to build a better relationship with your babies. People like to be helpful. You could, for example, accept help with cleaning, ironing, shopping or with preparing food. Freeze some meals in advance for times when you need them after the birth. In the first few weeks while you are getting settled you may need a lot of help. This is a good time to plan for your partner, a family member or family friend to be available to help out. Plan what you are going to do about nappies. A nappy service or disposable nappies may be helpful. Because twins often come early, plan to go to your antenatal classes a bit earlier than usual to make sure you can complete them. Your midwife or doctor will be able to help you with this planning. If you have other children at home, particularly very young children, think about how you are going to prepare them for the new babies.Breastfeeding twinsBecause breastmilk supply increases with extra demands, most women can breastfeed twins well. This can mean much less work compared to preparing and giving formula.Because of the extra challenges of feeding two babies, it might help if you get in touch with your local breastfeeding association, a lactation consultant or your local branch of the Multiple Birth Association before the birth of your babies. Your midwife or community child health nurse will also be able to give support. Breastfeeding has many advantages. It provides the best food for babies and it helps prevent some common infections. Make sure you get as much rest as you can and remember to eat nutritious meals. You can feed the babies together or separately. Feeding both babies at once can give you more time to get some rest in between feeds. You may want to feed separately some of the time so you get more chance to get to know each baby. Bottle-feeding twinsWhen you can, it is a good idea to feed each baby separately, as this separate closeness and touching helps encourage bonding with the baby. If you try to feed them together you will find you are holding the bottles, not the babies! Caring for twins at homeLooking after even one baby can make you feel very tired, and caring for two babies can be even harder if they are unsettled. The most common cause of depression for new mothers is fatigue.There are many topics on this site which could be useful, such as Crying babies, Newborn sleep, New mums and Postnatal depression.If you can manage getting a bit of extra assistance in the house after the babies are born this can be a great help – even if you have to go without something else.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesCorrigan, A. (1995). Parenting twins. Australian Multiple Birth Association.Evans, J.J., & Evans, N.D. (n.d.). Twins: a parents’ guide. Retrieved from www.vh.org/pediatric/patient/pediatrics/parentsoftwins/ Gromada K.K., & Hurlburt, M.C. (2001). Keys to parenting multiples (2nd ed.). New York: Barron's Educational Series.Simpson, L. & Paviour, A. (1994). More than one. Sydney: Simon and Schuster.16/5/2006081101Folic acid and pregnancyFolic acid and pregnancyFolic acidSpina bifidaDiet - Pregnancy000Discusses the effects of folate on your unborn baby and ways you can increase your folate. Also talks about spina bifida.0Green0-100-30What is folate or folic acid? How can you increase your folate?Who should take folic acid tablets? What is spina bifida?What is the risk of spina bifida? Finding out whether an unborn baby has spina bifidaTaking folic acid before pregnancy and for the first three months of pregnancy can reduce your chances of having a baby with spina bifida. Spina bifida is where the spinal cord, and the bones, muscle and skin that cover it, do not form normally.Research has shown that the chance of having a baby with spina bifida or similar problems (called neural tube defects) is much less if a woman increases her intake of folic acid for at least one month before she gets pregnant and for the first three months of her pregnancy. Every woman who could become pregnant should be sure she gets enough folate and this is best done by taking folic acid tablets.Taking folic acid before pregnancy may also lower the risk of some other heart, kidney and limb abnormalities. The evidence for this is not as strong as for spina bifida, and more research is being done.There is no evidence that other vitamins or minerals will protect your baby against spina bifida.What is folate or folic acid?Folic acid is a water-soluble B-group vitamin that is needed for healthy growth and development. The vitamin is known as 'folate' when it is found naturally in food, and 'folic acid' when it is added to foods or when it is in tablets. Folic acid is turned into folate in the body.  It can be found naturally in most plant foods, especially green vegetables, wholegrain breads and cereals, peas and dried beans. Extra folic acid is also added to some foods, such as breakfast cereals. If folic acid is added, this will be marked on the labelling.How can you increase your folic acid?The easiest and most effective way is by taking a daily folic acid tablet. A healthy diet is important, but it is very difficult to get enough folate from foods to prevent spina bifida.Folic acid tablets are quite safe to take. The tablets recommended are 0.5 milligrams (which is 500 micrograms). One tablet each day is enough.Folic acid tablets are available from chemist shops (without a prescription), health food shops and some supermarkets.Some multivitamins contain folic acid but often at a lower dose, so it is best to take the separate tablets.Who should take folic acid tablets?Folic acid works best if it is taken for at least one month before starting a pregnancy.As many pregnancies are unplanned, it is recommended that all women of child-bearing age who could become pregnant take a folic acid tablet (0.5 milligrams) every day.If you have a family history of spina bifida, or take medication for epilepsy, you may need a higher dose of folic acid. Ask your doctor about this.Extra folate is not as effective if you start to take it after you know you are pregnant but it is worth taking it if you suspect you may be pregnant (for example, if you have missed a period).The risk of having a baby with spina bifida if extra folic acid was not taken is still small.What is spina bifida?Spina bifida is a serious abnormality of the spinal cord, and the bones, muscles and skin covering it. Babies with spina bifida usually have an obvious abnormality on their back when they are born. Some will die soon after birth and most need a lot of treatment.Spina bifida can cause permanently weak legs, no feeling in the legs and problems walking. Many people with spina bifida will need to use a wheelchair.There can also be problems with bladder and bowel control.Other neural tube defects affect the development of the brain as well as the spinal cord.The problems occur when the spinal cord and brain are forming during the sixth week of pregnancy (four weeks after conception). This is often before a woman knows that she is pregnant.There is no cure for spina bifida.What is the risk of spina bifida?Any woman could have a baby with spina bifida or other neural tube defect.About 1 in 1000 babies in South Australia is born with spina bifida and another 1 in 1000 babies has another type of neural tube defect.The risk is higher if another family member has had spina bifida. You can have tests to check for neural tube defects during pregnancy.Taking folate for at least one month before getting pregnant and during the first three months has been shown to reduce the risk by up to 70%.Finding out whether an unborn baby has spina bifidaMost women in Australia have an ultrasound examination during early to mid pregnancy. Most babies with spina bifida will be found by that ultrasound.Blood tests which find most neural tube defects may also be done. Putting folic acid into foodsIn the USA and Canada there has been mandatory (enforced) addition of folic acid to flour since 1998. That has successfully reduced the risk of spina bifida without any other health risks.Regulations insisting that folic acid be added to flour or to bread will come into force in Australia soon.For more information about folate in pregnancy talk to your family doctor, obstetrician, community health nurse or a dietician.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesDe Wals, P., Tairou, F., Van Allen, I., Uh, S., Lowry, R., Sibbald, B., et al. (2007). Reduction in neural-tube defects after folic acid fortification in Canada. New England Journal of Medicine, 357(2), 135-142.16/5/200616/5/200671111Natural birth after caesarNatural birth after caesar000Caesarean sectionA story from Practical Parenting magazine about a mother who decided to have a vaginal birth after having her first child by caesarian section.0Green0-100-30Mother of two Jean* talks about her determination to give birth to her second baby naturally, following her first delivery by caesarean.‘The birth of my first born baby, Benjamin*, was traumatic both physically and emotionally, yet it is one of the most profound moments of my life. After a hard pregnancy, I was not expecting to have such a long and hard labour, which lasted 24 hours. It resulted in an emergency caesarean, or as I like to put it, a “social birth”.‘I was given a variety of reasons for needing a caesarean: not dilating (I only reached 7-8 cm), pelvis too small, (but my baby was only 3.46 kg), positioning of the baby, and the most concerning, fetal distress.‘It was not until months later that the self doubt and questions hit me. What if I had tried drugs earlier? Why couldn’t my body achieve what it was made to do? In the end, however, I’d had a healthy, beautiful, baby boy. That was what mattered, or so I thought, until it came time to have another baby.‘I was anxious at the thought of going through the whole process again, especially birth via caesarean and the recovery. My health nurse suggested I have a few sessions with a trauma counsellor to deal with the brick wall of emotions I was feeling which were stopping me from trying for more children. In only a few sessions I was able to overcome the guilt I was feeling and the self doubt that had accumulated over the past two years. I got back confidence in myself not only as a mother, but as a woman.‘The decision to go for a trial labour was without a doubt the hardest one of my life. The “what ifs” and horror stories filled my head. The threat of all the possible dangers was very frightening, and there is a lot to be said about the comfort of the known. My initial thought was to book in for a caesar if I did not go into spontaneous labour before my due date. I told myself I did not want to know the statistics or read any information because I believed that I was going against the grain, and so statistics and facts would only increase my fears. I could not have been more ignorant and blind. Through the encouragement and support of the “Know Your Midwife” program run by my local hospital, I began educating myself by researching the internet about VBAC. VBAC stands for Vaginal Birth After Caesarean, or as I like to call it – Very Brave And Courageous.‘I also attended a VBAC course at the hospital and read as many real life experiences as I could find about natural and caesarean births.‘Of all the interesting facts that I discovered, I was amazed to find nearly all the statistics from studies held in Australia and internationally stated that natural birth was by far the safest delivery option – whether it be a VBAC or not! It struck me that this is something that the general population does not know, and obstetricians often do not highlight or encourage this.‘One big fear was of my scar rupturing, but again, many reputable websites showed that the chances of this happening were minimal. In the end, all the education and statistics really helped, but I had to feel within my heart that the decision was right.‘I wanted what was best for my unborn child first, then for myself, and in turn that would benefit my toddler. I was going to let nature take its course and be open (and thankful) to modern intervention in trying to achieve a safe and happy birth experience, whether that meant naturally or by caesarean.‘I was enjoying being pregnant and I was excitedly anxious about the unknown. That was until I had my confidence shot at my 20-week visit with an obstetrician. I was told that by having a natural delivery after a previous caesarean I was taking a chance that “obviously didn’t work the first time”. I had to listen to one-sided statistics, and threats of hysterectomy and the chances of my baby dying. “If you were my wife, I would not allow you to try”, was one of the comments. He even wrote a comment in my file: “Five-foot ... therefore recommending a Caesar”. I sat in shock as he pulled out the papers to sign me up for a caesar.‘I declined, left the room and rang my husband in tears. He encouraged me to ring my midwife and she insisted I go over my research again. It only took a couple of days to get back on track. This experience only made me stronger and determined to prove this “mere” male wrong.‘The labour started seven days before my due date. Not once did I think about my first experience. I was surrounded by a support group that believed in my abilities and respected my choice. After a long uphill battle, I gave birth naturally to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. It was the most euphoric experience, and the proudest moment of my life. Words cannot describe the elation and the empowerment I felt from the whole process. I believe that in my case, it was definitely a mind-over-matter experience. As a result I now feel confident in myself and my abilities as a mother and as a woman. I have the sense that I can achieve anything I put my mind to.‘Three months down the track my beautiful daughter is breastfed and thriving, and I am the happiest I have ever been. I would encourage all women to educate themselves and believe in themselves when they make choices – not only when faced with birth options, but in every other aspect of their lives.’*Not their real names. We were compelled to conceal this family’s identity on the advice of our lawyers. However, we believe many readers will be interested in this story – Ed. (Practical Parenting Magazine)Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/5/200615/5/20061101Getting ready to be a mumPreparing to become a first-time mumGetting readyPregnancy - preparing yourselfMotherhood - preparing yourself000A guide to becoming a first-time mum, with information to help pregnant women prepare for birth and motherhood. Includes tips on physical fitness and health in pregnancy, making arrangements for parental or maternity leave, accessing government support, and looking after your relationship with your partner.0established0-100-30Becoming a mum for the first time is exciting – and can be a little scary. It can help to prepare for motherhood by looking after your health and fitness, eating well, making some practical arrangements at work and home, and taking care of your relationship.Your health and fitnessGetting enough rest will make it easier to deal with the emotional ups and downs that some pregnant women go through.All women gain weight when they’re pregnant – it’s part and parcel of a healthy pregnancy. And although your head will tell you that getting bigger is what your body needs to do, it can be difficult to feel OK with your new shape. If you follow a healthy eating plan, it’ll help you feel more comfortable throughout the pregnancy. It might also mean you have less weight to lose after the birth.Regular, moderate exercise will do you good too. It helps you keep strong for the birth. It lifts your mood, which could be unsteady during pregnancy. It also helps maintain your healthy pregnant weight.You can read more about how your body and emotions change during pregnancy. Our articles on sleep for parents and eating and drinking for new parents have helpful tips for looking after your physical health now and after baby arrives.Making arrangementsTaking care of some practical arrangements will also help you relax more when baby comes home. If your pregnancy was planned, you’ve probably thought about all of this, although you might want to adapt your plans as the birth gets closer. If you weren’t expecting to get pregnant, now’s a good time to think about these issues.At home You might want to think about getting your home ready.Also, the first few weeks can sometimes be a bit easier if you’ve organised some help beforehand – for example, if your partner can take some time off or if you have a relative who can help you around the house. Some parents-to-be like to stock the freezer with meals that are easy to reheat when you need them – or you could just make sure you’ve got takeaway menus handy!At work When you’re ready, it can be a good idea to talk to your boss about:what parental leave is availablewhen you plan to start your leavewhen you plan to come back to workyour options for returning to work, including any changes to your role.Government parenting payments can help with the cost of raising your child – for example, Paid Parental Leave and the Baby Bonus. If you’re eligible for both payments, you can visit the Paid Parental Leave Comparison Estimator to help you decide which one would be best for your family.You can apply for paid parental leave up to three months before your baby’s due date or adoption date. To be eligible for the full 18 weeks of government Parental Leave Pay, you should nominate a start date for your pay that’s within 34 weeks of the birth or adoption of your child.The Government’s Paid Parental Leave scheme doesn’t provide an entitlement to leave. But you can combine Parental Leave Pay with leave provided by your employer – for example, annual leave, long service leave and other paid or unpaid parental leave.Your relationshipPregnancy is such a time of change that it can help if you and your partner make an extra effort to focus on your changing relationship. Talking openly about your feelings, doing things together and making decisions together can all help you prepare for this life-changing event.Pregnancy and childbirth can be extremely exciting and also a little frightening. Prenatal classes can give you and your partner information that will help you understand not just your baby’s growth, but also the emotional and physical experiences of pregnancy and childbirth.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles22/09/201119/09/20111111Preparing for motherhood00You and your partnerParents: your relationship with your partnerYou & your partnerRelationships – adultsPartners - relationships000A guide to how relationships change when you become parents and tips on how to listen to each other, share feelings, accept the changes, manage conflict, have a sex life and build a positive relationship.00-100-30Some of the experiences that come with being a new parent can make you feel even more deeply connected as a couple. But caring for babies and children can also put new strains on your relationship. Open communication can help you get through the tough times.How your relationship might changeMost couples experience relationship changes when they become parents.You and your partner might feel surprised at your new creation and the sense of love that can sneak out and grab you. You might feel a new and different level of connection between you. But you might also experience some strains, even if these weren’t part of your relationship before becoming parents.Less sleep, less time to talk, less time to spend together – these things can all take their toll on your relationship while you care for your new baby.These changes and strains might mean you disagree more often or that things don’t quite feel right. Also, you might not have the energy to sort problems out when they arise.Open communication helps keep things on track and helps you both come to terms with these changes. It can strengthen your relationship with your partner, as well as with friends and relatives.VIDEOID=5387Relationship tips for parentsListen to each other Good listening is the most important communication skill you have. Good listening can help you understand an issue from your partner’s point of view, and put you in touch with how he or she feels about it.You can show you’re really listening by stopping what you’re doing when your partner wants to talk, and by paying full attention to your partner’s words and body language.Encourage your partner to talk by asking open-ended questions, such as ‘What do you think about … ’. These questions can encourage more discussion about the issue. You can also check whether you’ve understood by restating your partner’s comments in your own words. If you’re thinking about what to say next, you’re not really listening. Instead, try to focus your attention on what your partner is saying (maybe jotting a note if you’re afraid you’ll forget something important).For more information, you might like to read our article on listening and why it’s important.Tell your partner how you feel Your partner is not a mind reader!  When you talk about your frustrations and fears, your happiness and joys, it might make it easier for your partner to know what you’re going through.‘I’ statements are easier to listen to than ‘you’ statements, which can seem like criticisms. So when you talk, you could say things like, ‘I feel a bit lonely when we spend less time together’. This might be better than, ‘You don’t make any time for us anymore’. It can be hard to slot in discussions between nappy changes – you might find it helps to set aside time to talk. When you are ready, perhaps organise a babysitter and spend an evening together somewhere you both enjoy.You can find more information and tips in our article on talking and why it's important.Accept the changes You can look at your relationship as being in a new phase, rather than off-track, and you can talk about what the new phase means to you both.If you’re finding that spending time together is more difficult, try planning time for the two of you.It might also help to read our tips on accepting each other’s viewpoint.Managing conflict Differences in opinion will come up as you go through changes – talking about these can help you both understand each other’s perspective. It’s okay to disagree. It can help to relieve tension if you accept the different points while explaining your own. You can use the tips on listening above to find out what your partner means rather than counter-attacking. When you’re making decisions together, aim for ones that are OK for both of you.Our article on managing conflict might help you work through any differences between you.Staying close now you’re parents Simple things like asking your partner about the day (‘What was good?’ ‘What wasn’t so good?’) can help you keep in touch.Small gestures that show your partner that you care can also do the trick. This might be just a cup of tea or offering your partner a sleep-in when tiredness sets in.Having a sex life Believe it or not, most couples do get their sexual relationship back on track. Putting more time into talking and spending time together can make you feel closer, and this helps your sex life.If you’re feeling too tired or too distracted to even think about sex, try talking to your partner about how you feel. Just like time together, sex might also need a bit of scheduling.You might like to read our article on having sex again for ideas and information about how to re-establish intimacy after your baby arrives.Taking control of your relationship You can do this by talking honestly about the changes taking place in your lives. This might mean talking about how you feel about your new roles, and what you see these roles as being.Having children often brings up issues from your own childhood. Discussing these together can help you both to understand how they might influence what you do and say as parents.If things are getting tough, it might be worth seeking support. You could speak with your doctor, or look into your local directory for adult counselling services.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesGottman, J.M. (1999). The marriage clinic: A scientifically based marital therapy. New York: Norton. Halford, W.K. (2001).  Brief therapy for couples. New York: Guilford Press.Jacobson, N.S., & Christensen, A. (1996). Acceptance and change in couple therapy: A therapist’s guide to transforming relationships. New York: Norton. Pacey, S. (2004). Couples and the first baby: Responding to new parents’ sexual and relationship problems. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 29(3), 223-248.04/05/200609/02/201121111New mums: your bodyYour bodyNew mothers - physical changesWeight - new mothersPhysical changes in women after pregnancy and birthHair loss - mums000Addresses the concerns that many women have about the changes to their bodies after giving birth, outlines common physical changes after pregnancy and birth, and includes tips on how to improve self-esteem, physical health and wellbeing.0Green0-100-30Once you give birth, your body begins its natural recovery process. You might notice changes in your body around this time.Hair lossMany women notice that a lot of their hair falls out either during or after pregnancy (because of changing hormone levels). Hair lost because of pregnancy will grow back.This hair loss is not caused by breastfeeding, and weaning will not help.Weight worriesPutting on weight during pregnancy is normal. Weight during pregnancy is attributed to baby, placenta, fluid, uterus and also your body preparing a good store of energy for making milk.Although some women do lose the extra weight over the months of breastfeeding, many women find it hard to get back to their previous weight.It is possible to deliberately lose weight while breastfeeding without affecting the milk supply, but it needs to be gradual. Aim for about ½ kg a week.Avoid very restrictive or crash diets, which might affect your milk and will certainly lower your energy levels. You still need a healthy diet. The best way is to avoid fatty, fried and sugary foods, have low-fat dairy products, lean meat, plenty of fruit and vegetables, and bread and cereals.Eating less food doesn’t work very well unless you also get some exercise. The combination of healthy eating and activity is important for weight control and general health.If you’re not breastfeeding, the same guidelines for healthy, low-fat eating (combined with exercise) will work. But it doesn’t matter if you lose weight a little faster. Some women have the opposite problem. They tend to lose weight while breastfeeding and can get very thin, although the baby usually grows well. If this happens, make sure you have three good meals and healthy snacks each day. Foods like cheese, nuts and full-cream yoghurt can help. Although not common, thyroid problems can affect weight after you’ve had a baby. Too much thyroid hormone tends to make people lose weight despite eating a lot, and too little can be associated with low energy levels and weight gain. If you’re concerned there might be a problem, talk to your doctor.ExerciseExercise is a great way to get back into shape after your baby is born and also helps you feel good. Walking the baby in the pram does all this and puts the baby to sleep (usually), so is an ideal way to start being active after giving birth. Build up exercise gradually, but avoid vigorous exercise until after your postnatal check (at about six weeks) to be sure everything is OK.As well as general exercise, you need to do some specific exercises to help your tummy muscles and pelvic floor get back their shape and strength. You’ll probably be shown some exercises in hospital, or there might be a class you can attend. Moderate exercise doesn’t usually interfere with breastfeeding. Have a balance of exercise and rest, and be sure you drink plenty of fluids, especially if you’ve been sweating. Some babies don’t like the taste of milk just after vigorous exercise. This isn’t common, but if your baby refuses the breast at that stage, just make sure you feed just before your work-out and not again until you’ve cooled down. Some mothers find vigorous or long exercise does affect their milk supply. It might take some trial and error to find out how much is right for you.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesLawrence, R.A., & Lawrence, R.M. (1999). Breastfeeding: A guide for the medical profession (5th edn). St Louis: Mosby.National Health and Medical Research Council (2003). Dietary guidelines for children and adolescents in Australia. Canberra: Australian Government Publishing Service.4/5/20068/2/201141111New mums: the early weeksNew mums: the early weeks after birthEarly weeksGiving birth - the weeks afterMums - the first weeks000A guide to what you can expect after the birth, coming home, bring baby home, the early weeks, emotional highs and lows including baby blues and postnatal depression (PND), physical recovery and concerns, and what you can do to look after yourself.00-100-30Here’s an overview of what to expect in your first weeks of motherhood, as well as some practical suggestions and health information. If you’re worried about your health or wellbeing for any reason, speak to a health professional.It is true that after your first baby is born, your life changes forever. Physically your body has changed a lot, and not all the changes are reversible. Mentally and emotionally, you are now a mother. Even though your child will not always rely on you for every need as a new baby does, she will always be your child.After the birthIf all is well, you might only stay a couple of days in hospital (although some women go home on a supported early discharge program). It will be a very busy time with a lot to learn, and can seem quite confusing. The staff might seem busy, but they are there to help you so ask any questions you have about yourself or your baby.You’re likely to feel very excited at first, and relieved that the long wait of pregnancy and hard work of giving birth are over. There will be phone calls and visitors and congratulations as everyone greets the new arrival.After the first day or so, though, you might start to feel quite flat and let down. You might be physically uncomfortable, quite exhausted, worried about managing feeding and overwhelmed with all you need to do for the baby. Massive hormone changes don’t help either. Not surprisingly, many mothers have mood swings and lots of tears at this time. This is what is meant by ‘the baby blues’.You will notice changes in your breasts as your milk comes in (also known as ‘let-down’). If your baby attaches and sucks well, your breasts might become fuller fairly gradually, but sometimes they get hard, full and uncomfortable quite quickly. This is called engorgement and there are things you can do to help. It is common for nipples to feel a bit tender as they get used to the baby feeding. This will be helped by making sure your baby attaches properly.If your nipples feel very sore, or cracks appear, look for help by consulting your maternal health professional or the Australian Breastfeeding Association. You might also like to look at our illustrated guides to breastfeeding techniques and breastfeeding positions, and our article on breastfeeding problems and solutions.Coming homeBringing your baby home for the first time can feel rather scary. There’s so much to think about and organise and you worry about what to do first, or what will happen if the baby won’t stop crying. Try to have somebody with you for the first day or two, at least. Keep a list of parenting hotlines handy so you can ring to talk things over with someone if you need to.The feeling of responsibility for your baby’s life can be overwhelming at first. Every first baby survived a new mum, and yours will too.Breastfeeding is a new skill for you and your baby. It might take some time for you both to learn how best to manage. Early breastfeeding problems can usually be easily overcome, so do get help if you need it.New babies need feeding every few hours, day and night. You will feel very tired from broken sleep, so it’s important to rest, or sleep if you can, during the day. The housework will keep until later.It’s great to have visitors at home in the early weeks, but it can be tiring too. Put a notice on the door if you’re having a rest. Encourage the sort of visitor who does some jobs around the house, minds the baby or even brings a meal, and discourage those who want to just sit while you provide afternoon tea!Physical recovery and concerns If you have an episiotomy (cut), or a tear, or a caesarean section wound, you will feel some soreness as it heals, especially as you start being more active. This discomfort should gradually lessen over the next couple of weeks. If it seems to be getting worse rather than better, or if it is suddenly more painful, check with your doctor.You will be bleeding at first. This blood loss might be quite heavy in the first week, and also get a little worse when you first get home and are more active. You might pass some clots. After the first week, your loss (called lochia) should gradually get lighter and change from red to dark red to brown to yellowish white. It might clear up in 10-14 days, or there might be some loss for several weeks. Again, if the bleeding is getting heavier rather than lighter, or if you have a sudden heavy loss or large clots after the first few days, check with your doctor or midwife.When you’re breastfeeding, the hormone that lets down your milk will also cause the uterus (womb) to contract. You might feel some discomfort low in your tummy (these are called ‘afterpains’ and are more commonly felt with second or third children), and you might notice you bleed a little more during feeds. This is all normal.The early weeksYou and your baby will gradually get to know each other, and you (and your partner) will gain confidence as the weeks go by.Most mums find the ‘baby blues’ stage only lasts a week or two (with highs and lows over this time), then they gradually get back to normal. But it’s not unusual for the blues to continue, or for you to start feeling tearful, anxious and depressed at any stage in the first few months. If you’re feeling bad much of the time, and particularly if this interferes with your sleep or enjoyment of the baby, do talk to someone about it.Postnatal depression (PND) is common, and can be helped. You might like to read more in our articles on PND: What is PND? and Practical strategies for feeling better.Your period If you’re breastfeeding, you might not get your period until the baby is 4-6 months old or later. This can vary a lot though. Some women start their periods at two or three months and others not for a year or more. If you’re not breastfeeding, your period will usually return in a few weeks.Whenever it comes, your first period after having a baby might well be heavier and more uncomfortable than usual. Don’t worry, the next one should be better. Do remember, however, that you could get pregnant before this period, so take precautions if you don’t want another baby immediately.Looking after yourself Looking after yourself is very important if you are to have enough energy to look after your baby.Don’t be afraid to ask for help – babies weren’t meant to be brought up by just one person. Get rest, exercise and some time out, even for a short time. Physically you should gradually feel stronger over the first few weeks, but it can take some time to feel you’re back to normal energy levels.Make sure you have a postnatal check at about 6-8 weeks with your doctor, an ideal time to discuss any concerns you have.What you can do for yourselfAll new parents need support. If you’re parenting on your own this is even more important. It's OK to say yes if someone offers to help you.Make sure you take some time out for yourself and to do some things with your partner or a friend.Take care of yourself. Make sure you do some things you enjoy regularly, get some exercise and eat well.If you feel desperate when your baby is crying, make sure she is safe and then leave the room until you feel better. Play some music, make a cup of tea, ring someone who understands or do whatever helps you.If you find you’re feeling down and irritable most of the time, talk it over with your doctor or someone at your local community health centre.Rightresources and support for new mumsIf the early days of motherhood sometimes feel overwhelming, there’s no need for you to cope alone.This short video offers information on the resources that can help you look after newborns, babies and children. For example, extended family and friends can be a great source of support. Also, a clinical nurse specialist talks about Tresilian, Australia’s largest child and family health organisation. There are many other resources available nationwide that can help you with parenting issues.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesBrown, S., & Lumley, J. (2000). Physical health problems after childbirth and maternal depression at six to seven months post-partum. British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, 107, 1194-1201.04/05/200604/02/201131111Sleep for parentsSleepSleep parentsSleep - adultsSleep deprivation - effects on adultsParents - sleep needs000A guide to how much sleep parents and adults need, including information on the signs of lack of sleep and sleep deprivation and tips on getting more sleep and catching up on sleep0Green0-100-30It’s the topic every new parent talks about: sleep. How much sleep are you getting? Are you getting enough sleep? How much is your baby sleeping?Sleep in the early daysIf you’ve never had a period of bad sleeping before, you might get a shock at just how much lack of sleep can affect your life. New parents often say they didn’t believe it would be as bad as it is.It can take a while for babies to settle into a regular routine, and this makes getting the sleep and rest you need difficult. In the early weeks, getting any extra sleep might be an uphill battle.How much sleep you needIn general, adults need about 7-8 hours of sleep a night to feel properly rested, although this varies from 5-10 hours, depending on the individual.You might need more sleep if you: find it difficult to wake up in the morning, or feel drowsy all of the timecan’t concentrate feel moody, irritable, depressed or anxiousare unintentionally having micro-sleeps during the day.Just as your baby needs sleep to stay well, you need enough sleep to get on with and enjoy parenting. Proper rest helps you do this, and makes you feel happier and calmer. Also, your baby responds to how you feel, which means your baby will feel more contented too.Sleep tips for parentsEven though getting too little sleep is inevitable during the first few months of your baby’s life, there are some things you can do to make up for this:It’s possible to ‘catch up’ on missed sleep. You can make up for missed sleep during the week by sleeping more on the weekend. Catch up on rest whenever you get a chance.Even if you find it difficult to fall asleep during the day, lying down and resting can recharge your batteries.It might be worth cutting out caffeine and other stimulants if you can. Although they make you feel better in the short term, in the long term they make resting and sleeping more difficult. They also affect the quality of your sleep.If you can, share the work with your partner (so you both feel as rested as possible), a family member or a friend. Taking turns or shifts for night-time duties can really make a difference. This might be harder for mothers who are breastfeeding. In this case, the key is to try to rest when your baby is resting.Some time out can work wonders if you’re stressed. If a friend, partner or relative can stay with your baby for a little while, taking a break might help you calm down. Even a walk around the block can dissolve some stress.Rightdid you knowSevere sleep deprivation can lead to physical weariness, hallucinations and mood swings.Sleep deprivation can also cause symptoms such as hand-eye coordination problems, so it can be like being drunk.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesNational Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (2003). Brain basics: Understanding sleep. Retrieved March 8, 2006, from http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/sleep apnea/detail sleep apnea.htm#41553238.4/5/20069/2/201191111Adult friendships: maintaining old ones, making new onesAdult friendships as a new parentAdult friendshipsFriendships - adultAdult friendships - how to make and maintain themGrown-up friendships - how to make and maintain them000A guide to making and maintaining adult friendships after you have children, with special tips for fathers and singe parents. Includes information on playgroups and parents groups.00-100-30After you have a baby, finding time to see friends can seem about as likely as organising a weekend getaway to the moon. It’s worth making the effort, though: even a couple of hours with a friend can recharge your battery and make you a better and happier parent.Maintaining old friendshipsEven though you might feel your life has changed dramatically since having a baby, your friends are still part of who you are. They offer shared experiences and understanding. They can help maintain balance in your life, providing encouragement and sometimes a much needed reality check.Try planning ahead. It’s easier to make time if you plan to do something rather than hoping it will happen spontaneously. Set a date to catch up with friends and stick to it. But don’t be worried if you have to change your plans - having a new baby can make things unpredictable!Friends are interested in your life, no matter what’s going on, so you can encourage them to join in your new life as a parent. If your friends do have kids, they’re likely to be understanding and supportive. Even if your friends don’t have children, they might enjoy hearing what it’s like to be a parent – delighting in the positives and sympathising with the negatives. They might even have a fresh take on things that could help you.Friends who don’t have children can still have fun on outings with your kids. It’s a matter of picking the right activity, whether it’s feeding ducks at the park, going to a matinee movie screening or heading to the pool. Why not take the pram for a good walk and talk with a friend?Gatherings that are easy to organise can take the stress out of getting together. For example, a pot-luck dinner is a great way to have people over without having to worry about cooking and organising. Another advantage is that your baby can go to bed without having his routine disrupted.A regular babysitter and ‘date night’ can give you the chance to go out on the town, see a movie or go out for a catch-up dinner. Or organise babysitting ‘swaps’ with friends who have children.You might feel like your only identity is as a parent, but to your old friends – especially those without children – you’re just you. So try to talk about things other than your baby, even though you’ve probably done nothing but care for her every waking minute since she was born. If all else fails, ask a lot of questions and do a lot of listening.Making time for old friends helps you stay in touch with those things you and your friends have in common: music, food, sports, gossip, your old workplace and other personal interests you probably have less time for now.Meeting new friendsNow that you have a child, another group of friends will open up for you – other parents. Here are some good ways to meet parents:Join a new parents group at your neighbourhood clinic or community centre.Chat at your local playgroup, kindergarten or play centre.Perhaps stay in touch with new parents you meet at the hospital.Go to the park so you can chat while your children play together.Go to ‘parents and babies’ sessions at your local cinema.Join an online forum where you can chat with other parents.VIDEOID=5567Building and maintaining a solid support network is really important for single parents. These friendships give you a break from your busy caring role.DadsSometimes new fathers find it difficult to maintain old friendships and build new ones. The friends they had when they were single or childless tend to drop away as fathers’ social lives become more about family and children.Stay-at-home dads can be more isolated than mothers because they’re generally less likely to join new parent groups – often because they feel out of place. But playgroups – even traditional mothers groups – can be good places for dads to meet other dads.Fathers say that talking to their friends about their child and their new parenting experiences is one of the few personal things they feel comfortable about sharing. Talking about kids and experiences of being a dad can be a way to help cement new friendships or maintain old ones.What other parents say‘My son was the first born in one of my circle of friends, and their reaction was great. Then later the visits decreased because their lives continued in their own direction and I had taken a new path.’‘We decided to be proactive about (seeing our friends). We would have everyone over at our house a lot. Friday night was pizza and footy night, we would have BBQs in the nice weather on the weekends. It was great everyone coming to us, and that way, James could sleep in his bed and we got to catch up with all of our friends.’‘A lot of my friendships have fallen to the wayside. I’m in such a different headspace now that I’m a mother and my priorities have changed so much. I’ve just let the friendships go and will wait and see what happens in the meantime. I’ve just made some really lovely friends with some of my playgroup mothers which is great and I don’t feel so alone in my motherhood now.’‘We were the first among our friends to have a baby. They all thought it was great at first, a novelty I guess. Always dropping in to see us ... Then they started organising dinners at restaurants and doing things that just weren’t baby friendly. So we stopped seeing them so much.’Rightdid you knowplaygroupsThis short video features parent stories about playgroups, child care and preschool. These settings can be great for children – but also a good chance for you to meet other parents and make new friends and contacts.Mums and dads talk about strategies they used to settle their children into play and care outside the home. They also share their feelings about their children going to care and preschool.A high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesBost, K., Cox, M., Birchinal, M., & Payne, C. (2002). Structural and supportive changes in couples’ family and friendship networks across the transition to parenthood. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 64, 517-531. Parent stories come courtesy of parents using the RCN parents forum.18/02/200809/02/20111111Parenting teenagers: looking after yourselfParents of teenagers: looking after yourselfParenting teenagersParents of teenagers - self-care000A guide for parents of teenagers to self-care and looking after themselves, with suggestions for making time for yourself, looking after your physical and mental wellbeing and staying fit, happy and healthy when your child is a teenager.0established0-100-30It doesn’t matter whether your children are teenagers or toddlers – you still need to look after yourself. When you’re happy, healthy and fit, you’re in good shape for parenting.Parenting teenagersNow that your child’s a teenager, the demands on your time and energy are different from when your child was younger.In the early years, you needed to feed, bath and comfort your little one. Now he’s big and looking after himself more and more. But your child still needs practical help and active involvement from his parents. For example, he might be involved in a wide range of social and extra-curricular activities so you need you to take him from one thing to another. At the same time, you might be working more hours or involved in other activities yourself.Along with practical demands on your time there might be some new emotional challenges. For example, the onset of puberty can bring feelings of insecurity for your child and worry for you. You might also feel concerned about your child’s social and emotional changes. And then there are the emotional ups and downs of adolescence.Friends and peers will become more important to your child in these changing years, but this doesn’t mean you’re less important. You still play a big role in your child’s life – and strong relationships with family and friends are both vital for your child’s healthy social and emotional development.Finding time for youParenting a teenager can be hard work, and it’s as important to take good care of yourself now as it was when your child was younger. Looking after your physical and mental wellbeing can help you stay calm and consistent, and deal better with any stress and conflict that comes up.You might be finding that juggling your child’s needs with your work and other commitments is leaving you with little time to yourself. Here are some suggestions for clearing time in a busy family schedule.Household responsibilitiesIf you can, sit down with your partner to talk about how the household work can be managed between you and your children. You might look at giving your children more responsibility for jobs around the house.Negotiating with your child about chores might help break down any resistance she has to the idea. For example, you could allow her to pick one or two chores she wouldn’t mind doing. There are a couple of benefits here: jobs get shared around more, and your child gets some practice for independent living. For example, she might be interested in learning to cook simple meals or wash and iron clothes.Family plans and schedulesHaving a weekly family schedule might help you keep on top of everyone’s commitments and to also find time for yourself. It can give you the chance to explain to your child that you need time for yourself too. Having this time will give you more energy and enthusiasm for the time you spend with your child.You can also use a weekly family schedule to plan time for household tasks, like grocery shopping and cooking. Cooking in advance – for example, on the weekends – can take the pressure off at busy times during the week. It can also help you make sure you’ve got something healthy in the fridge or freezer for the whole family to enjoy. Support networksGrandparents, family and friends might be able to spend time with your child to free up some time for you. Or you could organise to share car-pooling and supervision duties with other parents whose teenagers are involved in the same activities as your child. This might give you a few more hours in your week, and have the added bonus of helping you build new friendships and support networks.Keeping your relationship freshFor parents with partners, research shows that feeling happy about your relationship and feeling happy with your parenting are strongly related. So nurturing your relationship with your partner is actually a way of nurturing your parenting ability.Here are some suggestions from parents about keeping partner relationships fresh and strong:Talk about your feelings and experiences as the parents of a teenager together.Show affection, admiration and appreciation for your partner.Spend time talking with your partner – something as simple as making time to discuss your day with each other can be a good idea.Find time for just for the two of you each week. This could be doing all kinds of things – playing sport, going for an after-dinner walk together, having a regular coffee date, playing cards or games, or whatever you enjoy as a couple.Make time for fun experiences as a couple. For example, if your child is old enough, he might be able to spend the weekend at a friend’s house or at grandma’s while you have a mini-break.Spend time together at home. For example, you could make a date to have a special dinner, watch a favourite movie or put on your favourite music while your child’s in his room or has a friend visiting.Staying happy and healthyYour physical and mental wellbeing is vital to your ability to keep up with your family. But physical and mental health doesn’t just happen – you have to look after yourself if you want to stay happy and healthy.Staying positive and keeping things in perspective might help you get through some of the ups and downs of the teenage years. If you’re having a bad day, or a fight with your child, you could try asking yourself, ‘Do we really need to fight about this? Can I just give way on this one?’ When you let go of the small stuff, you save your energy for more important issues such as your child’s health, safety and wellbeing.Positive self-talk can also help you feel less stressed and happier. For example, if your child offers to help someone out, you might say to yourself, ‘Nice – I’m glad I’ve taught my child to think about others like that’. It’s time to congratulate yourself on all the good work you’ve done to get your child to this stage.Family rituals can build family togetherness and wellbeing. No matter how bored they might seem, teenagers also find family rituals comforting. Examples might include a regular Sunday night dinner, religious ceremonies or regular family outings. Rituals help teenagers feel loved and part of the family. They can also help you feel positive about your family relationships.Physical activity is important for many parts of your life, and 30 minutes a day is what you need to keep you physically and mentally healthy. It could just be a half-hour walk or an exercise class, but if you’ve got more time as your child gets older, you could think about the sports you used to play, or ask a friend if they want to play tennis or go for a bike ride. If you’re looking for something new, you could try relaxing activities such as yoga, meditation or deep-breathing exercises.It’s important you make sure you’re meeting your own needs, as well as the needs of your family. Remember that a healthy and happy parent is an effective one!Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesArmstrong, M.I., & Boothroyd, R.A. (2008). Predictors of emotional well-being in at-risk adolescent girls: Developing preventive intervention strategies. Journal of Behavioral Health Services & Research, 35(4), 435-453.Australian Bureau of Statistics (2009). Trends in household work. Australian Social Trends, March 2009. Retrieved April 15, 2011, from http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/Lookup/4102.0Main+Features40March%202009.Bulanda, R., & Majumdar, D. (2009). Perceived parent-child relations and adolescent self-esteem. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 18, 203-212.Carr-Gregg, M. (2005). Surviving adolescents. Camberwell: Penguin.Downing-Matibag, T. (2009). Parents’ perceptions of their adolescent children, parental resources, and parents’ satisfaction with the parent-child relationship. Sociological Spectrum, 29, 467-488.Gottman, J.M. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. New York: Crown Publishers.Greene, A., & Grimsley, M. (1990). Age and gender differences in adolescents’ preferences for parental advice: Mum’s the word. Journal of Adolescent Research, 5, 396-413.Grose, M. (1996). Working parents. Port Melbourne: Reed Books.Operario, D., Tschann, J., Flores, E., & Bridges, M. (2006). Brief report: Associations of parental warmth, peer support, and gender with adolescent emotional distress. Journal of Adolescence, 29, 299-305.Prelow, H.M., Bowman, M.A., & Weaver, S.R. (2007). Predictors of psychosocial well-being in urban African American and European American youth. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 36(4), 543-553.Rogers, S.J., & White, L.K. (1998). Satisfaction with parenting: The role of marital happiness, family structure, and parents’ gender. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 60, 293-308.Shearer, C., Crouter, A., & McHale, S. (2005). Parents’ perceptions of changes in mother-child and father-child relationships during adolescence. Journal of Adolescent Research, 20, 662-684.This article was written with help from Cathryn Hunter, research officer at the Australian Institute of Family Studies, and Elly Robinson, Research Fellow at the Australian Institute of Family Studies.06/05/201106/05/201403/05/20111111Talking to each otherParent skills: talking to each otherTalkingTalking - grown-upsCommunication - grown-ups000Parent teamwork skills: making parenting easierA guide to talking with your partner and strengthening your relationship through open and positive communication and dealing with conflicts and problems through open discussion. Includes positive and practical suggestions on what to say and how to say it.00-100-30’Talking keeps you and your partner close and can strengthen your long-term relationship. When you do it constructively and positively, it’s also one of the best ways of sorting out the conflicts that can sometimes come with raising children.Why talking is importantTalking is a major part of resolving problems or conflict. What you say, and how you say it, influences how well you’re understood. It also affects how others respond to you.Talking with your partner and family about everyday things – like what you’re doing, what they’re doing, how you feel, how they feel – is one of the main ways that families and relationships connect.The basicsWhat we say and do can be especially important in resolving sensitive or controversial issues. If you have to raise an issue, the keys to constructive communication and positive talking are: sharing thoughts and feelings rather than blameputting forward suggestions or requests rather than giving commandsopening topics with positive feedbackthinking about when it’s a good time to raise a topic – maybe after the immediate issue is over, and not at stressful times like dinnertime and bedtimepostponing the discussion until later if things get heated, and agreeing on a better time to talk. Tips for talkingIf your partner raises something with you, try to listen and address the issue. Admit fault if it’s relevant, and be willing to give and take to move towards a solution. Also, try not to use the occasion as an opportunity to bring up your own problems. If you have problems (even related ones), bring them up with your partner at another time, maybe right after the current conversation.IdeasHow to do itBe politeYou might be surprised at how often the basics of politeness can slip in long-term relationships. Words like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ can help a lot.Give your partner positivesEveryone likes to feel appreciated. Look for opportunities to give your partner positive feedback. If your partner is used to receiving praise and encouragement from you, it will make it easier to listen when you have to raise a problem.Weigh it up before bringing it upAsk yourself if an issue is really that important before raising it with your partner. Can you let it go?Hold back on hurtful words or words that will start an argumentAvoid name-calling or negative references (‘You’re stupid’), bringing up the past (‘This is just like last time’), questioning your partner’s intentions or motivation (‘You just don’t care’), or making unfavourable comparisons (‘You’re just like your mother!’).Watch out for words or phrases that imply that your partner is always wrong or not trying – your partner is bound to disagree. Phrases to avoid include ‘You always ...’ and ‘You never ...’.Try to describe what’s causing concern and leave out why you think it’s happening. For example, you could say, ‘You never help me. You’re so lazy and inconsiderate – you just sit down and watch TV while I have to get the dinner ready and look after the children’. But it might be better to say, ‘I’d find it easier to get dinner if the kids were kept busy. Would you be able to spend some time with them?’Be briefLong-winded explanations can sound like a lecture and can be a barrier to good understanding.Think about what’s most important for your partner to hear, then try to describe it in as few words as possible.Stay focused on the topic, rather than sidetracking the conversation by raising other issues or concerns.Concentrate on solving the problem, rather than working out who’s to blame for the problem.Be responsible for how you feelAvoid statements that start with ‘you’. These can sound like an attack and make your partner feel defensive.Describe what you want, using a statement that starts with ‘I’ rather than focusing on what your partner is or isn’t doing.Share your feelings about a situation and briefly describe what the problem is from your point of view. For example, you could say, ‘You’re an inconsiderate loud mouth’. But it might be better to say, ‘I feel embarrassed when you say things like that in front of our friends’.Offer suggestions or examples rather than telling your partner what to do.Use tentative words such as ‘might’, ‘could be’ and ‘I wonder if’. Most people are more open to being given options than being told what to do. For example, you could say, ‘You always yell at the kids, and yelling at Lucy to clean her teeth gets nowhere and I have to come and take over'. But it might be better to say, ‘Lucy doesn’t like cleaning her teeth and I know it's very frustrating. I've found cleaning my teeth with her helps. Do you think it could be worth a try?’After you and your partner have made a decision on an issue, it’s a good idea to talk about it again after a while, to make sure that your plan is working. If not, be prepared to sit down and make some changes together.Getting helpIf you are having trouble getting these suggestions to work for you, couple counselling can help.If you’re in a relationship that involves violence, seek support and do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of you and your children.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesFowers, B.J. (2001). The limits of a technical concept of a good marriage: Exploring the role of virtue in communication skills. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 27(3), 327-340. Gottman, J.M., Markman, H.J., & Notarius, C.I. (1976). A couple’s guide to communication. Champaign, IL: Research Press. Halford, W.K. (2001). Brief therapy for couples. New York: Guilford Press. Jacobson, N.S., & Christensen, A. (1996). Acceptance and change in couple therapy: A therapist’s guide to transforming relationships. New York: W.W. Norton & Company Inc. Markie-Dadds, C., Turner, K., & Sanders, M.R. (1998). Every parent’s supplementary workbook. Milton, QLD: Triple P International.The Parents and Teamwork series was produced with support from the Victorian Government Department of Human Services. © Copyright Victorian Government Department of Human Services 200501/09/201101/09/201325/10/201151111Accepting, Counselling, OpinionSolving problems togetherParents solving problems togetherProblem-solvingRelationship problems - solvingConflict - resolvingSolving problems together000Parent teamwork skills: making parenting easierStrategies on setting up rules for dealing with conflict and solving problems in adult relationships; knowing the signs that show your problem-solving rules are working; finding constructive solutions to problems together; steps that partners can follow to help deal with conflict.00-100-30Problem-solving is a way of finding new and creative solutions in situations where you’re stuck, going round in circles, or can’t work through your issues.As parents, the way you manage any problems or fighting in your relationship can protect your children from the downsides of conflict. The way you work through problems can also teach your children important skills for life. And when you find solutions together, you help the whole family have more fun.Before you start problem-solvingIt can help to set up rules for handling any conflict in your relationship. These can help you avoid the most common mistakes couples make in disagreements:trying to force the other person to changeblaming each other for problems giving in and accepting a situation that one partner isn’t happy with avoiding the issue altogether. The following suggestions might guide you in setting up some rules for handling conflict together:Agree that either person can raise a problem for discussion at any time. Either person can say ‘no’ if they don’t want to talk about it right then, but schedule another time to discuss it (no more than one day after it’s first brought up). If the discussion is getting heated, either person can call for a ‘break’ to calm down. Agree to raise problems at a good time and place. For example, do it when the children aren’t present, when there’s enough time to discuss the issue, when there are no other competing demands such as dinnertime, another appointment, television, radio or telephone, and when you’re both calm. Try to use the problem-solving approach described below to discuss problems. Agree to try to listen so you both understand what the other person is saying. Agree that you won’t raise conflict topics in front of other people. Keep in mind that if one of you has a problem, you both have a problem. Adapted from K. Halford (2001), Brief therapy for couples: Helping partners help themselves, New York: The Guilford Press.You know your rules are working when you can solve problems effectively and you both feel you’re working as a team. Another good sign is when conflicts don’t cause lasting negative feelings such as anger and resentment. And you know you’re going well when you can reconnect and spend positive time together after any conflicts.Research has shown that 60% of problems can’t be solved, so it makes sense to focus on problems that can be solved. You just have to find ways to manage the ones that can’t.How to problem-solveStepWhat to doTips1. Define the problemBe clear and specific about the problem. Describe what’s happening, how often it’s happening, and who’s involved. Focus on the issue, not the person.  Acknowledge your role or contribution to the problem. Your partner is much more likely to take part if a neutral, non-blaming approach is taken.Try phrasing the issue as a question. For example, ‘Can we talk about how we’ll afford to buy the kids some birthday presents this year?’2. Clarify what you each wantBe clear about what’s important to each of you. Ask questions to clarify your positions.Why is that so important? Why do you want/need that? Why are you concerned/worried/afraid about that? Why don’t you want/need that? What would be so awful about that? Just listen to the answers, rather than debating them. The goal is to have a clear understanding of what you both want.3. BrainstormWrite down any possible solutions you can both come up with. Take turns to suggest ideas. Try to get as many ideas as you can, even if some don’t seem relevant. Wait until you’ve got all of the ideas down before you discuss them. Include all ideas – putting down your partner’s thoughts can hurt their feelings and stall the process. Accept everything – even silly and outrageous ideas! These can stimulate other good ideas. Try for 8-10 ideas if you can.4. Evaluate and chooseEvaluate each solution. Cross off ideas you both agree won’t work. If one of you thinks an idea has use, leave it on the list. List the advantages and disadvantages for each idea.  Keep it brief and avoid getting too bogged down on any one solution. Finally, cross off any suggestions that clearly have more disadvantages than advantages. Then select the best option or combination of options.  Rate the option or options from 1 (not very good) to 10 (very good). Be prepared to compromise.  Look for a practical outcome that can solve the problem. If you can’t find a solution, repeat the brainstorming step. If this still doesn’t work, look for more information or ask other people for ideas.Look at the advantages first – try to find something positive about every idea.5. Try itMake a commitment to the solution by agreeing on the following.What each of you will do, when and where. What will happen if the agreement isn’t followed.  Whether you need to keep track of how well the agreement is working. What you’ll do if the agreement isn’t followed. A time to review how it’s going. If it’s related to the children, consider asking them for ideas as well. Writing down your agreement is a good idea.6. ReviewReview and discuss how it’s going.Is the agreement working? What has worked well? What hasn’t worked?  What could you do to make things work more smoothly? If the agreement works, you’ll both notice there’s less conflict. If not, ask yourselves:Was the agreement reasonable? Did you both give and take?  Were rules and responsibilities clear to both of you? Were consequences for breaking the agreement used, and were they appropriate? Have other issues come up that you need to talk about before your agreement will work? You might find that you need to start the problem-solving process again to find a better solution.Expect some hiccups along the way – allow 1-2 weeks to make it work.Getting helpFind out how you and your partner can get extra support when you need it.If you’re in a relationship that involves violence, call a hotline and do whatever you need to do to keep your children and yourself safe.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesHalford, W.K. (2001). Brief therapy for couples. New York: The Guilford Press. Jacobson, N.S., & Christensen, A. (1996). Acceptance and change in couple therapy: A therapist's guide to transforming relationships. New York: W.W. Norton & Company Inc. Sanders, M.R., & Dadds, C., (1993). Behavioral family intervention. Needham Heights, MA: Allyn & Bacon.Sanders, M.R., Markie-Dadds, C., & Turner, K.M.T. (1998). Practitioners manual for enhanced Triple P. Brisbane: Families International Publishing.Weinhaus, E., Friedman, K., & Stagoll, B. (1991). Stop struggling with your teenager. Melbourne: McPhee Gribble.Wertheim, E., Love, A., Littlefield, L., & Peck, C. (1992). I win you win. Australia: Penguin.The Parents and Teamwork series was produced with support from the Victorian Government Department of Human Services. © Copyright Victorian Government Department of Human Services 200501/09/201101/09/201324/10/201141111Why teamwork is importantParent teamwork skills – parenting as a teamParents & teamworkRelationships - parentsTeamwork skills - parentingParenting as a team000A guide to how adult relationships affect children and parenting, the role of parent teamwork in relationships, and how to build adult relationships by using parenting teamwork skills such as talking, listening, managing and resolving conflict, backing each other up, and acceptance.00-100-30Being a parent can be great fun, with oodles of opportunities for love and excitement. It also brings challenges and hard work. Teamwork helps couples face these challenges in a way that minimises conflict and strengthens relationships with each other, children, carers, friends and extended family.Facts about teamworkThe way that parents interact with each other has enormous influence on children. Research tells us the following:Children’s sense of safety and wellbeing is closely linked to how their parents behave towards one another. Children’s happiness and development also depends on the quality of their relationships with their parents. Severe conflict between parents is associated with behavioural and developmental problems in children. Managing conflict – part of family lifeGrown-ups have a large role to play in creating a positive environment for children. This means supporting each other. Discussing and solving problems together. Using teamwork.Some conflict is inevitable – even in the strongest of relationships. All parents start out with different ideas about family life. Beliefs can differ on fundamental parenting issues such as what is ‘normal’ or ‘right’, and how to raise children.Children learn from how they see their parents interact. For parents, this means showing children that disagreements are a normal part of life, and teaching them healthy strategies for coping with and resolving conflict. This is also key to the long-term health and happiness of relationships.Children can cope and even learn about how to handle conflict if they see parents disagree from time to time. But they are badly affected by frequent, angry, unresolved conflict.You can read more about using teamwork to solve problems and manage conflict if it comes up.Focusing on youYour humour. Your health. Your happiness. Your stress levels. These can all have an impact on how much you enjoy the time you spend with your family.  And how well you cope with the stresses and challenges that arise.Looking after your health and being aware of how you and your partner are going can give you increased energy and responsiveness for each other and children, and help you get the most out of being a parent.Focusing on your relationshipCaring for children on a day-to-day basis does place demands on a relationship. It can be hard to juggle work, family and social demands.Teamwork skills can help keep your relationship with your partner healthy. When you feel closer to your partner and more supported as a parent, together you can create a better environment for your children.You might like to read more about some important teamwork skills: talking to each other, listening to each other, backing each other up and acceptance.Getting outside helpTeamwork skills can be helpful for most relationships, and in all types of family environments – including those with single parents or same-sex parents, and relationships after separation or divorce. Teamwork can also help you get extra support when you need it.There might be times when you and your partner need more support than teamwork skills – for example, if you or your partner feel very distressed about the relationship. If you feel stuck in attempts to resolve your issues and have even considered separation, or feel unsafe because of physical or verbal abuse, please seek professional help.Rightworking together as parents‘You really do have to work together’, says one of the dads in this short video.This video highlights the ups and downs in parents’ relationships that come with raising children. Australian mums and dads talk about common problems and tensions. They also share ways to strengthen and build a relationship after children. In particular, they say that patience and open communication can help you reduce conflict and support each other.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesThe Parents and Teamwork series was produced with support from the Victorian Government Department of Human Services. © Copyright Victorian Government Department of Human Services 200530/08/201130/01/201215/02/201111111Backing each other upParent teamwork – backing up your partnerBacking up your partnerBacking up your partnerParenting teamwork - backing up your partner000Parent teamwork skills: making parenting easierA set of practical suggestions and techniques to help parents deal with issues such as supporting each other’s decisions, being consistent, agreeing on rules and how to follow them, and discipline.00-100-30When children see parents backing each other up, they learn about supporting others, accepting support, being consistent with family rules and getting along with others.Backing each other up: why it's importantPartners who back each other up find it much easier to manage their children’s behaviour. Agreeing with each other in front of children makes it easier to discipline them.Children thrive in environments where they know what their limits are and see rules being used consistently. They also learn quickly. That includes quickly grasping the fact that one parent is softer or that some rules apply with one parent and not the other. This can create extra tension between parents.Backing each other up is also part of protecting children from the negative effects of frequent and harsh conflict. This doesn’t mean agreeing just because it’s in the best interests of the child. It’s about showing children how you can respect and support each other, even when you have a difference of opinion.It might not always be possible to agree. Sometimes it’s worth agreeing to agree in front of children and postponing the discussion until later.Ideas for backing each other upIdeas for nowExamplesPlan ahead – use the same rules in front of the children, and stick to them.Talk with your partner about what rules are most important at the moment. Three or four rules is enough at any one time. Decide together how you will enforce rules before you need to use them. Decide how you will reward your child for following rules – for example, by giving praise or spending time together.Try not to go back on a decision your partner has made.Check whether your partner has already dealt with a situation before acting. If you don’t like the way your partner is dealing with a situation, wait until it’s over and discuss it later.  If a new situation comes up, let your partner know how you dealt with it.  If you’re unsure about how to deal with a new situation, have a chat with your partner about it. Perhaps find out how friends handle the situation and discuss ideas you like with your partner.Look for ways to back each other up with actions.Share tasks such as putting children to bed – plan ahead so you can both take turns.  If your partner is dealing with a situation, offer support by taking care of any other children. When it’s over, offer emotional support by giving a hug or making a cup of tea.Discuss child or parenting problems after an incident.When the situation is over, sit down and discuss how it went. You can even write things down for later if it won’t be possible to talk in the near future. Praise your partner for anything that he or she did well. Try making only one suggestion. You’ll have other opportunities to make other suggestions. Write them down if you’re afraid you’ll forget. Hold the discussion away from the children.Give extra support – practical and emotional – when your partner is stressed or tired.Keep an eye out for periods when your partner could do with extra help.  Let your partner know that all the effort is appreciated. Offer extra practical help or give more positive feedback. Sometimes simple emotional support can make a big difference – like just being there ready to help or listen (and not being distracted by other things).Avoid contradicting what your partner has said to the children.Agree on rules, rewards and consequences in advance. Before responding to your children, check with your partner to see whether a request or problem has been dealt with.Avoid stepping in and taking over when your partner seems to be having trouble.Look for other ways to help – sharing tasks such as housework and picking up children from school also takes the pressure off. Hold back and discuss with your partner and even your children separately if relevant. Give praise for the effort your partner is making – praise can increase  confidence. Ask if your partner would like you to help.Hold regular catch-ups about the children so you can discuss approaches and ideas for dealing with problems.Make a regular time to talk about the children and parenting. If you have to change the time, set up another time. Focus on sharing the good things about parenting and your children as well as any problems.Keep your long-term relationship with your partner in mind.Demonstrate that you appreciate each other by being polite and respectful.Getting helpIf you are in a relationship that involves violence, seek professional help and do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of you and your children.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesGolombok, S. (2000). Parenting: What really counts? London: Routledge.The Parents and Teamwork series was produced with support from the Victorian Government Department of Human Services. © Copyright Victorian Government Department of Human Services 200530/08/201130/08/201315/02/201141111Listening to each otherParent skills – listening to each otherListeningListening – grown-upsCommunication – listening000Parent teamwork skills: making parenting easierA discussion of how active listening skills in an adult relationship improve communication, help resolve conflict and lead to stronger relationships. Includes ideas for developing listening skills and tips on how to actively listen to your partner.00-100-30Knowing what your partner thinks, and why, can make a real difference to how well you both cope with the challenges that come with raising children. This is where good listening skills come in.Listening: why it’s importantListening can lead to a better understanding between you and your partner and can strengthen your long-term relationship. Listening also makes it easier for you to solve problems together, and to be consistent in how you behave towards your children. All of this makes raising children easier, and benefits the whole family.Listening is important in helping your children develop the skills they need for life. They learn from seeing what you do and say, including how you relate to and talk to each other.Listening: the basicsGood listening starts with simple steps like:looking for ways to really pay attention when your partner speaksencouraging your partner to talkshowing that you understand your partner’s perspective – even when you don’t agree with itwaiting until your partner finishes speaking before giving your own opinion.Tips for listeningIf you’re in a relationship that involves violence, seek professional help and do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of you and your children.Ideas and tipsThings to doStop whatever you are doing so you can look at your partner and pay full attention to his words and body language.If you’re too distracted to listen, say so, and set another time to talk.Save questions or comments for after your partner has finished.Wait until your partner pauses, even if there’s something you don’t understand. Focus on not distracting your partner.Focus on understanding your partner’s point of view and feelings about the situation.Avoid jumping in with ‘Yes, but’ as a way of explaining your perspective. Let your partner finish the point.Ask questions that encourage your partner to talk instead of giving a yes or no answer. Avoid too many questions – this can sound like an interrogation.Try getting your partner to describe her experiences or views by asking open-ended questions. For example, ‘Tell me about … ’. You can give your partner positive feedback and ask some questions to try to understand what your partner is saying.Confirm whether you’ve understood what your partner means.Restate your partner’s comments in your own words. This helps to confirm whether you understand the issue and your partner’s feelings.Show that you’re interested in finding out more by asking for clarification.Try clarifying your partner’s feelings about an issue. For example, ‘I get the feeling that you’re frustrated with the way this has been going’. Be genuine – your partner will know when you’re really interested.Try not to assume that your partner is being hurtful, or is the one with the problem.If your partner says or does something hurtful, look for positive or neutral intentions behind it.Getting help If you and your partner need help communicating, there are many sources of support.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesFowers, B.J. (2001). The limits of a technical concept of a good marriage: Exploring the role of virtue in communication skills. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 27(3), 327-340.Halford, W.K. (2001). Brief therapy for couples. New York: Guilford Press.Jacobson, N.S., & Christensen, A. (1996). Acceptance and change in couple therapy: A therapist's guide to transforming relationships. New York: W.W. Norton & Company Inc.Markie-Dadds, C., Turner, K., & Sanders, M.R. (1998). Every parent’s supplementary workbook. Milton, QLD: Triple P International.Miller, W.R., & Rollnick, S. (2002). Motivational interviewing: Preparing people for change. New York: Guilford Press.The Parents and Teamwork series was produced with support from the Victorian Government Department of Human Services. © Copyright Victorian Government Department of Human Services 200501/09/201101/09/201322/03/201171111Managing conflictParent teamwork skills – managing conflictManaging conflictConflict - managingRelationships - managing conflictParenting teamwork - managing conflict000Parent teamwork skills: making parenting easierA set of practical ideas on how to keep adult arguments out of children’s lives; as well as why intense conflict between adults can harm children; teaching children how to resolve conflict.00-100-30Conflict is a natural part of relationships, especially as you face the challenges of parenting. When you work together to sort out conflict, you build happy, healthy relationships and teach your children important life skills.The role of conflict in family lifeConflict happens in families. Its effects on children all depend on the level and frequency of the conflict, and the way it’s resolved. So managing it in constructive ways is important – for your children, your relationship and the happiness of the entire family. When conflict is useful Children aren’t born knowing how to handle conflict, so occasional arguments are unlikely to cause lasting harm if they’re handled well.In fact, seeing you work together to resolve issues teaches your children valuable skills. For example, by working together to resolve differences, you show your children how to negotiate and solve problems effectively. This also teaches children that difference and conflict are a part of life.It can also be reassuring when you show optimism that a problem will be worked out, as can a simple explanation of how you’ve resolved a disagreement.When conflict is a problem The difficulty comes when parents fight a lot and don’t resolve their differences. This can be distressing and harmful for children. The more parents argue, the more it affects children. Severe and frequent conflict can lead to a higher risk of emotional, behavioural and social problems. Children are more likely to be disobedient and to experience problems such as depression, aggression, or poor performance at school.Unhealthy conflict affects children badly, whether parents are together or separated. Even when there’s no arguing, any frosty silences, discord, anger or unspoken hostility can cause distress.Conflict can be particularly harmful if it involves abuse, threats or disputes about a child in front of the child. Physical violence makes things even worse. Children who grow up seeing physical violence are more likely to experience personal and social problems as adults.How children are affected by parental conflictSome children cope better with conflict than others. Factors such as temperament and age make a difference. So does the type and frequency of the conflict.Younger children are more likely to show that they’re upset. Throwing tantrums, or becoming more difficult to manage, might be signs of stress. Older children might experience social problems such as depression and negative self-esteem.Some research suggests that gender plays a part in how children cope with conflict. Boys are more likely to feel threatened by their parents’ arguments, and to respond by acting up, or becoming disobedient or aggressive. Girls tend to blame themselves and become withdrawn.Tips for managing conflictIdeasThings to doAvoid arguing in front of children.Save heated discussions for behind closed doors. Make a time to discuss problems when the children aren’t with you – for example, after bedtime, or when they’re at school or visiting grandparents.Let your children see you discussing issues in a constructive way.Take turns talking. Try to understand your partner’s feelings or perspective. Try to hear the positive in your partner’s message. Share your feelings with your partner.  Be polite. Brainstorm possible solutions.Even when you’re having problems with your partner, keep a good relationship with your children.Do things with your children that they enjoy. Tell them when they do things you like. Give them a hug – be affectionate. Talk with your children about things that interest them and what they’re doing and feeling. Be available – whenever possible, stop what you’re doing so you can help, listen or talk to your children.Be clear with your children that they’re not the cause of your disagreements.Tell your children that the issues aren’t about them and that the grown-ups are sorting it out. Let your children know that you’re trying to find a solution to the problem. Continue to spend positive time with your children – remind them that you love them. Encourage your partner to keep a positive relationship with your children. Don’t feel you have to tell your children what the issue is. Some problems are for grown-up ears only.If you’re in a relationship that involves violence, seek professional help and do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of you and your children.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesCummings, E.M. & Davies, P.T. (2002). Effects of marital conflict on children: Recent advances and emerging themes in process-oriented research. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 43, 31-63. Golombok, S. (2000). Parenting: What really counts? London: Routledge.Sanders, M.R., Halford, W.K., & Behrens, B.C. (1998). Parental divorce and premarital couple communication. Journal of Family Psychology, 13, 60-75.The Parents and Teamwork series was produced with support from the Victorian Government Department of Human Services. © Copyright Victorian Government Department of Human Services 200530/08/201130/08/201315/02/201141111Listening, Accepting, Counselling,OpinionAcceptance: parent teamworkAcceptanceAcceptanceDifferences with partner000Parent teamwork skills: making parenting easierA guide to why acceptance between partners and in families is important. Includes hints on how to be more accepting in a relationship and how to acknowledge and accept your partner’s views.00-100-30Acceptance means living with and valuing differences in others. It can make a real difference to your relationships with your partner, family, friends and children. It can also help you and your partner adjust to the changes that parenting brings.Acceptance: why it’s importantAcceptance is a crucial part of keeping relationships healthy. Acceptance means partners value each other’s differences. They can agree to disagree. And they can pursue personal needs in a way that keeps the health of the overall relationship in mind. Not only in the early days – when differences are part of the attraction – but throughout the life of a relationship.It’s easy to lose sight of your relationship when all of your energy is directed towards children. When there’s stress or unhappiness in a relationship, it becomes even harder to work together and share parenting tasks.Acceptance makes it easier to appreciate the positives and resolve differences, leading you back to greater intimacy and goodwill. So acceptance is an attitude that can reduce the stress and challenges of working together to raise children.Acceptance can profoundly improve your partner’s readiness to listen and accept your perspective. It can even open the doors to change. People who feel accepted are more willing to listen and take suggestions on board.All of this means acceptance creates a healthier, happier and more positive environment for the whole family.Tips for strengthening acceptanceIdeasThings to doSpend time on your relationship with your partner.Spend time on shared interests.Show your interest by asking about your partner’s activities and joining in when invited.Think of some things you could do to show your partner your love and appreciation.Be polite.Think of activities you did together when you first met. Consider what you liked and how you might do those activities together again.Talk with your partner about happy times you’ve had together.Focus on what you can do to solve problems.Decide what you want to happen.Invite your partner to help solve the problem, without pushing or blaming. Identify ways you can solve the problem, even if your partner doesn’t participate.Get help from others if you need to.Focus on what outcome you’d like, rather than on what your partner should or shouldn’t have done.Take responsibility for what you want.Try to identify what’s important to you in your life – for example, communicating with others, affection, fun, safety, financial security, time together as a family and so on.Think about how you can meet those needs, including seeking help from your partner, friends, family, support groups and professionals.Be generous with your understanding. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.It can be difficult to explain what you want and how you feel to someone else – others also find it difficult. Sometimes the words come out wrong!Encourage your partner to open up by asking open-ended questions, and not interrupting.Look for and acknowledge your partner’s positive intentions – for example, ‘I know that you’re working long hours because you want to take care of us’.Ask your partner to explain or give more information if you don’t understand what’s being said.Listen, without defending your own position or behaviour.Acknowledge your partner’s point of view even if you don’t agree. For example, ‘I can understand why you’re angry that I asked my parents over for the weekend without talking to you first’.Avoid jumping to conclusions, blaming or criticising your partner.Look after yourself.Set time aside each day or week to do something you enjoy. For example, have a bath, play netball, read a book, watch TV and so on.Pursue your own work or creative interests. For example, do an adult short course, go for a promotion and so on.Look after your physical health, have regular check-ups with your doctor, and eat well and regularly.Make a deal with a friend to care for each other’s children so that you can have a break or go on a date with your partner.Getting helpAcceptance is not about tolerating harmful behaviour. If you’re in a relationship that involves violence, seek support, and do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of you and your children.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesHalford, W.K. (2001). Brief therapy for couples. New York: Guilford Press.Jacobson, N.S., & Christensen, A. (1996). Acceptance and change in couple therapy: A therapist’s guide to transforming relationships. New York: W.W. Norton & Company Inc.The Parents and Teamwork series was produced with support from the Victorian Government Department of Human Services. © Copyright Victorian Government Department of Human Services 200501/09/201101/09/201322/03/201171111How to help the mother who isn't acknowledging postnatal depressionPostnatal depression: recognising PNDAcknowledging PNDPostnatal depression – recognising000Some tips on how to recognise when a mother has postnatal depression (PND), PND affects partners, friends and family, strategies to support a woman with PND, and how to encourage a mother with PND to talk about her feelings.00-100-30It can be really hard for a woman to acknowledge that she’s feeling depressed after the birth of her baby. This can also be a tough time for partners, family and friends.The reality of motherhoodReasons why women might not acknowledge PNDWhen a woman doesn’t acknowledge PNDEffects on partners, family and friendsStrategies to support women with PND and their partnersEncouraging a woman to talk about her feelingsThe reality of motherhoodOur society makes it difficult for a woman to acknowledge that she might be dealing with postnatal depression (PND). The usual messages are about the joy and bliss of motherhood. These messages rarely address the reality of the challenges motherhood brings to the life of each woman and her partner.The media often reinforce the unrealistic expectations of motherhood. For example, it often shows celebrities who appear to be coping exceptionally well with becoming mothers.Because of the stigma of depression, PND is often portrayed very negatively and sensationally. A woman who isn’t coping can feel very alone and different from everyone else who seems to be coping.Reasons why women might not acknowledge PNDMany women and their partners don’t know what PND is or how to recognise its signs.The stigma associated with depression prevents women asking for help. A woman’s need to be seen as normal and a good mother is very strong. PND symptoms can be masked with incredible effort, sometimes even from a woman’s partner.It’s hard for a woman with PND to admit she isn’t coping and to ask for help. This involves acknowledging that she can’t manage her feelings and that something is seriously wrong. But denial is the enemy of recovery.Depression itself breaks down a woman’s ability to communicate, make decisions and help herself.It can be too difficult for a woman to find the words to talk about her painful and negative thoughts. This is because she might feel that no-one will understand or others will be horrified by her thoughts.In the early weeks after having a baby, there are many other things happening. A woman might use these to explain how she feels (for example, baby’s sleep, her sleep changes, impact on her partner). She assumes things will get better when everything settles down.A woman might have tried to communicate her feelings or to ask for help from family or services. But her feelings might have been dismissed or not responded to. This leads to an increased sense of failure, inadequacy and guilt, especially if she’s told that she should be happy or that her own mother did it tough and was OK. In this case, the woman might not try again to access help until her depression reduces her capacity to perform everyday tasks.A woman might also blame her partner for how she feels, resulting in significant conflict between the new parents.Women might not trust workers in services with their dark secrets. A woman might deliberately put on a sunny, capable face when seeing her nurse or doctor. This is because she desperately doesn’t want them to know the extent of her bad feelings.A woman might fear being put on antidepressants if she talks about her feelings. She might also be worried about what medication might mean if she’s pregnant or breastfeeding.A woman might fear that the authorities will take her baby away if she has PND and is not coping. She might be worried about being marked out her as a bad mother. This fear is reinforced if there’s a difficult partnership breakdown, and she fears her ex-partner will take the baby from her.Even the most skilled health professional can miss PND, especially if the woman isn’t giving clear or honest indications of how she is.A woman might not know what services are available to help her or she might feel that no-one can help her anyway.When a woman doesn’t acknowledge PNDSometimes a woman’s partner, family or friends are the first to pick up that things have changed for her or that she isn’t coping with motherhood. It can be very difficult to observe these changes and know how to address them, especially if the woman isn’t prepared to talk about these concerns or agree to get help.When a new mother feels things aren’t right, it’s ideal for her to talk to her partner, family, friends and health carers to get it checked out. But there are women who go to great lengths to avoid discussing and dealing with their mental health issues. Over time these mothers can become quite unwell. Their partners, family and friends can become increasingly concerned. These women can become angry and defensive if the people who care about them bring up concerns. They can stubbornly refuse to get help or stay involved with services.Effects on partners, family and friendsIf a woman continues refusing to acknowledge her PND, the costs for the woman’s partner, family and friends increase. Her partner might need to take time off work to help with the baby and provide support. There might be growing concerns for the wellbeing and safety of the woman, the baby and any older children.The woman might blame her partner, family or friends for everything. Ultimately, she might break ties with her family and friends or tell her partner to leave the relationship. She might feel that her partner is the source of her distress, and if it wasn’t for her partner, she wouldn’t be feeling the way she is. She thinks that if her partner leaves, she’ll get better.Partners in this situation can become very distressed. They know their partner is unwell but she won’t accept any help. This can mean that partners can’t do anything to prevent their families from breaking down completely. In this case, partners can be at risk of depression and anxiety. They face a loss of confidence in themselves and their ability to assess the situation accurately.The breakdown of a couple’s relationship and the new family is one of the greatest tragedies of unacknowledged and untreated PND.Strategies to support women with PND and their partnersPartners, family and friends can use the following strategies to support and get help for a woman with PND, as well as to take care of themselves.Find out as much as you can about PND. This will help you identify the impact of the illness on your partner’s emotions, behaviour and decisions. Try to keep this separate from what you know about your partner before she became depressed.Get support for yourself. Talk to someone about how you feel and take care of yourself with rest, exercise and time away from caring for your family member.Try to avoid making any significant decisions during this time. You and your partner might not be thinking clearly. Remember that it’s likely that the PND is contributing to her unhappiness in the relationship. If she does seek help and recover, much of the conflict in your relationship is likely to settle.Try to be patient with her. She isn’t her normal self or thinking clearly. You might have to listen to her concerns and provide support, even though she isn’t listening to your concerns or getting help. This is very difficult and frustrating, so sharing this with your family and friends is important.Trust your instincts and your concern for her. You might need to risk conflict with her in the short term by getting help for her. This is especially if you’re very concerned about her and the baby. You can contact her doctor or maternal and child health nurse to talk about your concerns and seek their advice. You could also contact mental health crisis services, or go to the local hospital emergency department if you need to.In some cases, child protection services might need to be involved. This might be when women refuse to get help and struggle to care for their baby and older children or if children are exposed to a mother’s unstable mental health, drugs or alcohol. The wellbeing of the baby and older children is very important. In this situation, child protection would try to ensure that the woman accesses services that will help her recover and help the family stay together.Encouraging a woman to talk about her feelingsMake it OK to talk Start by acknowledging the difficulty of the situation. Make it OK for the woman to talk about her difficult feelings. You can do this by identifying the challenges of motherhood for women in general and the challenges specific to this woman’s situation. You could say something like, ‘Adjusting to being a mother is one of the largest transitions women ever make, yet we often don’t speak about how difficult it can be’.Validate and support herYou might feel that she’s not listening to your attempts to support her. Let her know that you understand her feelings are real to her, no matter how bad or unreasonable they sound. Try to avoid telling her how she should feel. Be positive about even the little things she’s doing well. You could say something like, ‘You’re dealing with a lot (for example, lack of sleep, little support, and being away from your family). Anyone in your situation would find it tough’. Or ‘You are doing a really good job’.Encourage her to talk about her feelingsShe might be feeling and thinking many different things as she recovers from the birth and manages lack of sleep and the anxieties of motherhood. Ask her open-ended questions that encourage her to give more than yes or no answers. Try the following:‘I wouldn’t be surprised if you were feeling that way’.‘I’m wondering if this might be how you are feeing’.‘How are you finding motherhood?’‘How are you really feeling?’Listen to herKeep trying to listen to her worries without interruptions, ideas or advice. It can be tempting to try to give her advice and tell her what you think she should do. Just try to let her know that you’re listening.Give her the power to make decisions for herselfAt the same time, you need to encourage her to seek help. Being heard enables a woman to clarify her issues for herself, which is the first step in deciding what to do to address them. Sometimes she’ll benefit from knowing her options. Other times she’ll need you to be more involved in decision-making.Let her know you believe she’ll recoverHelp her to expect to recover by expecting that she’ll come through this (with help). It’s generally hard for her to believe that she’ll ever feel well again. You can hold the light of hope for her, by telling her she’ll recover. In turn, this can support her to make the huge effort to recover.Look after yourself and your children Sometimes you might feel like you can’t do anything right. You might have to wait for your partner to open up about her need for support. If you’re concerned about her wellbeing or that of your baby or older children you’ll need to take action and get some help, even if you risk getting into conflict with your partner.Rightdid you knowsupport for you and your babyIf your partner is suffering from PND, there’s no need for your family to cope all by yourselves. If you need to, you can reach out for help.This short video offers information on the resources that can help parents look after babies and raise children. The video notes that extended family and friends can be a great source of support. Also, a clinical nurse specialist talks about Tresilian, Australia’s largest child and family health organisation. There are many other resources available nationwide that can help you with parenting issues.Video TranscriptsRelated articles15/05/200611/02/201131111Motherhood can make you sadFeeling sad100An explanation of the signs, effects and feelings related to postnatal depression (PND) in women, with an emphasis on the importance of getting help for PND and finding support for PND and the baby blues.00-100-30When couples decide to have a baby, they probably imagine love, fulfillment and joy. Some might also picture crying, nappies and sleepless nights. But not many realise that having a baby might bring sadness and even depression.For around 15-20% of new mothers, postnatal depression (PND) becomes an overwhelming and powerful influence over their lives and their family. Sometimes women who are pregnant can also develop symptoms of depression. This is called antenatal depression.How PND can make you feelPND can mean different things to each mother but usually includes feelings of depression, anxiety, sadness, anger and difficulty coping that last for more than two weeks.These feelings appear either suddenly or gradually, within the first twelve months of the baby’s life. No matter what each mother is feeling, PND can make it hard for her to find joy in her new baby and her new life. PND can also make a mother feel that she isn’t in control or coping with her baby and that she isn’t a good mother.It’s normal for all mothers to feel anxious, tired or down at different times when they have a new baby, especially in the early weeks. PND is something that lasts longer and can be harder to explain. Why motherhood can make you sadWhy would having a new baby and becoming a mother bring about such sadness, anxiety and despair? There is no one cause of PND. There are several things in a mother’s life that are thought to combine to contribute to the development of PND. Hormonal and chemical changes in the body and brain after childbirth are thought to play a part, but it isn’t usually that simple. Other stress factors such as a demanding baby, lack of sleep and a difficult delivery might be part of it. It can also be other life events, previous depression, isolation, lack of support, childhood abuse and a difficult relationship with her partner or her own mother. Effects of PNDIf a mother is feeling depressed or anxious for an extended time, it can be very difficult for her to get to know her baby and to blossom into the mother she would like to be. Too often mothers hide their feelings because they feel they should be able to cope. Studies are showing that if the mother and her baby are influenced by PND for a long time, the baby might miss out on the close and responsive relationship with his mother, which can have long-term effects on him. The extended families of women with PND also struggle as they attempt to help and support the mother. Sometimes the partners can feel they are to blame, and can feel inadequate or even depressed themselves.The good newsOut of the sadness that is PND, there is good news. With early detection, support, counselling and maybe appropriate medication, most mothers do get better and can enjoy their baby and motherhood. Learning about PND and talking about the issues before or during pregnancy can help to reduce the chance of a mother developing it. It will also help her to know what’s happening should she experience any PND feelings and symptoms after the baby’s born. This will help her start the process of recovery.Asking for helpSome mothers find it hard to say how hard things are for them because they want to be seen as being able to cope and being happy with their baby. This can get in the way of asking for help, whether from a GP, Maternal and Child Health Nurse or family and friends.The sooner PND is identified and the right sort of support given to the mother and her family, the earlier the process of recovery can begin. Most women experiencing PND find that having someone to talk to can help in dealing with feelings. Recovery might also involve building a support network of family and friends. Seeing a counsellor or joining a PND Support Group with other women with similar experiences can be very important.Rightdid you knowAustralian research has shown that infant sleep problems are also associated with symptoms of depression in mothers.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesHiscock, H. & Wake, M. (2001). Infant sleep problems and postnatal depression: A community-based study. Pediatrics, 107. 1317-1322.15/05/200611/02/201121111/articles/what_is_postnatal_depression_-_panda.htmlPractical strategies for feeling betterPostnatal depression: strategies to help PNDHow to feel betterPostnatal depression – practical tips000Practical tips to help you feel better if you have postnatal depression, including strategies to help women with PND and provide support for PND. Tips include taking time out from parenting, seeking support, looking after your health and talking to others.00-100-30The following strategies can improve levels of wellbeing for women experiencing postnatal or antenatal depression.Find someone to listen to youTalking about how you feel and what might be on your mind will help you to manage some of the symptoms of PND. It’s important that you talk to someone who can be really present with you and listen to you rather than offering advice. A professional counsellor, your maternal and child health nurse, a doctor, a friend or a family member can provide this support.Take time out Having a break is vital to your sense of wellbeing. Taking a regular break to do something you enjoy just for yourself is important. Mothering a baby or toddler is a highly demanding job, sometimes undervalued in our society. Mothers deserve regular breaks, just like any other worker (especially as mothers are on call 24 hours a day!).Take up offers or ask a partner, family or friends to look after your child or children on a regular basis. Some mothers use child care such as a community house, family day care, child care centre or occasional care. Ask your maternal and child health nurse, call your local council, or check your local phone directory for details.You can find out more about babysitters and different types of child care.I used to feel that caring for Tom was my job and felt guilty asking for help. Now I realise how much they enjoy being with him. Life is so much easier when I’m not exhausted.Make time for exercise and eating wellYour wellbeing is directly related to your physical health. Regular exercise increases the serotonin levels in the brain, which causes you to feel good. A daily walk allows you to get out of the house, in the fresh air, experiencing a change. Arranging to walk regularly with other mothers can make exercise enjoyable.Eating well can be very difficult for busy mothers. Have simple things on hand like fresh salad vegetables cut up ready to eat with dips, fruit and yogurt, wholegrain breads and hearty soups. These types of foods release energy more slowly and can be quite sustaining.You can read more about your health and eating and drinking for new parents.Although making changes in these areas might not come easily at this time, the effort involved will bring rewards in how you feel. Try to involve others around you to help you take care of yourself.Make social contact with other mothersSpending time with other mothers, who you feel you can relax with, is very beneficial. When it’s ‘all feeling a bit much’, it can make a huge difference to how you feel if you can ring a friend to talk to. You can just get together when you feel the need to get out of the house. Joining a support group might also help.Rightdid you knowhow other mums can help‘It was my sanity’, says one mum of her weekly mothers group. In this short video on parent support groups, Australian mothers and fathers discuss the benefits of parents groups. These groups can help you deal with some of the ups and downs that come with being a new parent by letting you see that there’s a big range of normal when it comes to child development. You can also connect with other parents and share your feelings and experiences, both good and bad. This can be a great support during the tough times.Video TranscriptsRelated articles15/05/200611/02/201141111What is postnatal depression?Postnatal depression: what is PND?What is PND?Postnatal depression – about000A discussion of the risk factors, causes and symptoms of postnatal depression (PND), including information about treatment of and support for PND and baby blues. Also includes information on men and PND.00-100-30The arrival of a new baby is usually a happy time. It can also be a stressful time during which you have to make a lot of adjustments.  Unfortunately, many women aren’t aware that mood changes are common after childbirth and vary from mild to severe.  In fact, in the year after childbirth a woman is more likely to need psychiatric help than at any other time in her life.Types of postnatal mood disorderPND factsContributing factors for PNDSymptoms of PNDPND is difficult to identifyEffects of PNDTreatmentsPartnersWhere to go for helpTypes of postnatal mood disorderThere are three recognised mood disorders in the period after birth.At one end of the spectrum is ‘baby blues’, affecting about 80% of new mothers and occurring between the third and tenth day after birth. Symptoms include tearfulness, anxiety, mood fluctuations and irritability. The ‘blues’ are transient and will pass with understanding and support.At the other end of the spectrum is puerperal or postnatal psychosis. This affects 1 in 500 mothers, usually in the first 3-4 weeks after delivery. Postnatal psychosis is a serious condition. The mother herself might be unaware she is ill, because her grasp on reality is affected. Symptoms include severe mood disturbance (either marked elation or depression or fluctuations from one to the other), disturbance in thought processes, bizarre thoughts, insomnia and inappropriate responses to the baby. There is risk to the life of both mother and baby if the problem is not recognised and treated.  Postnatal psychosis requires a hospital stay. With appropriate treatment, women suffering from postnatal psychosis fully recover.Between the ‘blues’ and psychosis lies postnatal depression (PND). Most women find adjusting to life with a new baby very difficult, but more than 15% of women and 10% of men develop PND. Many women don’t know that PND can occur unexpectedly after delivery and typically blame themselves, their partners or their baby for the way they feel. Some try hard to ‘snap out of it’ without understanding that women with PND have little control over the way they’re feeling.VIDEOID=5451It’s very important for women and their partners to learn to recognise the signs and symptoms of PND so that they can ask for help as early as possible.PND facts PND occurs in all cultures and all socio-economic classes and can happen to child-bearing women of all ages.It is not a modern condition. Each generation calls it something different. What we call postnatal depression today might have been called a ‘nervous breakdown’ 50 years ago.It appears with mild, moderate or severe symptoms. It can begin during pregnancy (antenatal depression), suddenly after birth, or gradually in the weeks or months following delivery. Symptoms can emerge at any time during the first year after birth. Most cases have their onset within the first four months.It can happen after miscarriage, stillbirth, normal delivery or caesarean delivery. Pregnancy is the common factor.It happens mostly after the first baby but can occur after any other pregnancy.It can recur with a subsequent pregnancy. If a woman becomes pregnant again before recovering from PND, the condition will continue through the pregnancy and can worsen. If a woman has been taking medication, it’s wise to wait at least a year after discontinuing medication before falling pregnant again.Men can experience PND too. For more information, read our article on men and postnatal depression.Contributing factors for PNDPND is caused by a combination of biological, psychological (spiritual) and social (cultural) factors. It results in a variety of symptoms and impacts on women’s lives in all these areas.A different combination of these factors is responsible for each woman’s unique experience of PND. Strategies for managing postnatal depression towards recovery must address biological, psychological and social aspects of the woman’s life. This usually requires a combination of interventions.PND exists within families and communities, not with the woman alone. Assessment and intervention need to consider the significant other people in her family.BiologicalGenetic predisposition to developing depressionSudden changes in pregnancy hormones following deliveryNutritional deficiencies and sleep deprivationDifficult pregnancy or childbirth experiencesHistory of premenstrual tensionPrevious experience of PND or family/personal history of mental health conditionsPsychologicalInfertility and use of IVF for conceptionDifficult or traumatic birth (for example, unexpected interventions in the birth or an emergency caesarean)Problematic or unresolved relationship issues between the mother and her own motherTraumatic/abusive childhood (particularly sexual abuse)Unrealistic expectations of motherhood and of herselfCertain personality types (perfectionist or controlling)Limited social and emotional skills (difficulties in effectively communicating)Past unresolved issues of grief and loss such as previous miscarriageSocialLack of family and community supportDifficult relationship with partner – for example, the woman’s partner might be removed emotionally, work long hours or travel a lotIntrusive or difficult family relationshipsSocial isolation and lack of transportFinancial hardshipLack of close friends, particularly families with childrenBeing of a younger or older ageStressful life events, such as a death in the family or job lossWomen experiencing some of these things should be encouraged to talk with their doctor and family. Every woman’s experience of PND is unique, and a health professional can help tailor an intervention that responds to a woman’s specific circumstances and experience.Symptoms of PNDSymptoms can begin anywhere from 24 hours to several months after delivery. Women are more likely to seek help early when onset is abrupt and symptoms are severe. Sometimes symptoms are harder to separate from normal changes after having a baby. In this case, women can delay seeking help and PND can linger into the second year.The following descriptions of PND symptoms come from women who have spoken to PANDA (Post and Antenatal Depression Association) or attended PND groups. They can also apply to a man’s experience of PND.Sleep disturbance unrelated to baby’s sleep needs: most women with a young baby fall asleep as soon as they are able to. Women with PND often lie awake for hours feeling anxious while the baby sleeps. Sometimes they wake early in the morning. Others want to sleep all the time and have trouble getting up in the morning.Appetite disturbance: women might feel totally uninterested in food. Sometimes they say, ‘I force myself to eat because I am breastfeeding, but I don’t taste anything’. Sometimes women overeat in an attempt to control their anxiety. Others feel sick at the thought of food.Crying: a woman might feel sad and cry without apparent reason. Tears come easily day and night.  Some women say, ‘I want to cry but can’t. I am crying on the inside’.Inability to cope: daily chores, caring for the baby or self-care might seem impossible. Small demands a woman previously coped with might completely overwhelm her. A woman might feel like running away. She might feel overwhelmingly exhausted and very heavy physically and emotionally. She might also wish it would all go away.Irritability: a woman with PND might snap at her partner or other children without cause. Partners often say, ‘I can’t do anything right. If I fold nappies, she complains I do it the wrong way. If I don’t help, I’m being unsupportive’.Anxiety: a woman might feel a ‘knot in the tummy’ most of the time and panic without cause. Some women experience heart palpitations so severe that a heart attack is feared. She might be anxious about her own health or her baby’s, even after reassurance that nothing is wrong. Many women describe anxiety as their most obvious symptom and reject the term ‘postnatal depression’. They deny being ‘depressed’. The term ‘postnatal anxiety’ might more accurately describe the way some women feel.Negative obsessive thoughts: there can be little peace in the thought processes of a woman with PND. Small worries can consume her thought processes, interfering with her ability to listen, concentrate or remember. She might experience unrealistic fears, be afraid to let her partner go to work in case of a car accident, or be afraid to leave the baby with a friend in case something happens. No amount of reassurance or distraction can hold stop her thinking.Fear of being alone: many women go out a lot or need their partner (or someone) at home with them at all times. This is because they’re afraid of being alone at home. The fear of something going wrong with the baby or a woman’s fear that she can’t cope with the baby on her own is overwhelming. Some feel incredibly lonely and go out to feel connected with other people. This takes an enormous amount of effort. Others feel they can’t be with other people and withdraw from family and friends, not answering the door or telephone.Memory difficulties and loss of concentration: a woman might forget what she wanted to say mid-sentence. She might not be able to concentrate on simple tasks or take in new information. Organising herself and her family can become too difficult. Sometimes she doesn’t know where to start. Other times she might start everything at once. She might be unable to think creatively about her problems or find solutions – like reaching out to services that will help her.Feeling guilty and inadequate: feeling guilty can be common for all mothers but more so for the mother with PND. Her thoughts and feelings constantly reinforce in her own mind that she is inadequate and a ‘bad mother’. She might be unable to take encouragement from the good things she has done or to feel affirmed by her relationship with her baby. Reassurance won’t stop her thinking and can discourage her from talking about how inadequate and guilty she feels.Loss of confidence and self-esteem: a woman who enjoyed her job might panic at the thought of going back to it, no longer sure she’s able to do it. A woman who enjoyed entertaining might panic at the thought of visitors. She might feel unable to prepare a meal when she enjoyed doing so before the baby was born. Most women with PND have very low self-esteem regardless of how well they seem. Some describe their experience as a loss of a sense of who they are, a loss of sense of self.PND is difficult to identifySociety makes it difficult for a woman to acknowledge that she might be experiencing PND. She is constantly confronted by messages about joy and bliss. These messages don’t often mention the challenges that come with motherhood. The media tends to reinforce the unrealistic expectations of motherhood. For example, it promotes celebrities who appear to be coping very well.Added to this is the stigma of depression. PND is often being portrayed in a negative and sensational way. Women will put on a brave face and go to extraordinary lengths to hide how they feel. A woman who isn’t coping can feel very alone and can find it hard to come to terms with her feelings.Effects of PNDPND doesn’t usually resolve itself fully without treatment. If PND isn’t identified or treated, the toll it takes on the woman, her baby, partner, family and extended relationships increases. A woman might also experience future episodes of depression and mental illness.Many women with PND are very close to their babies despite how they feel. Others might struggle to connect with their babies if their PND is ignored. This can have an impact on the wellbeing of the baby.With early identification and intervention, most women fully recover from PND and have no long-term effects.TreatmentsAll women with PND need emotional support from family and friends. Some women find psychological treatments helpful, especially if they have experienced traumatic events in their childhood or more recently.Antidepressant medication is a successful treatment for many women with PND. It’s worth remembering that women can’t ‘snap out of’ depression, any more than they could ‘snap out of’ diabetes, and there are many misconceptions about antidepressants, how they work and what harm they might cause.Rather than ‘changing your personality’, this type of medication aims to correct chemical imbalances in the brain thought to be responsible for symptoms of depression and anxiety. Antidepressants are not addictive. Some can be safely taken while breastfeeding and pregnant. You can seek objective help and advice from your doctor, a pharmacist or drug information line.PartnersLiving with a woman suffering PND is difficult.  Partners too need a lot of support. They often feel confused, lost and helpless. It’s important that partners be included by the health professionals treating women with PND. Partners are much more supportive if they understand what the problem is and what they can do to help.Where to go for helpIf a woman doesn’t feel the way she expected to feel after having a baby, it’s very important that she talk to her GP or maternal and child health nurse. It could simply be that she’s having trouble adjusting to the changes in lifestyle that occur when a baby is born and to the demands that a new baby makes. But if she’s suffering PND, it’s important that she receive appropriate help as soon as possible. PND is not something to be ashamed of. It should be seen as one of the many complications of pregnancy and delivery. With appropriate help, women with PND do recover.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/05/200611/02/201111111More than arguments: domestic violenceDomestic violence in families: a guideDomestic violenceDomestic violenceViolence and relationships000A guide to recognising domestic violence, and what to do if you're violent or being abused.00-100-30Arguments in families are pretty common, but sometimes they get out of hand and people get hurt. Domestic violence happens in all sorts of families and plays a major part in family breakdown.The basics What is domestic violence? Why it happens How it starts Effects of domestic violence What parents can do Reminders The basicsMost people argue with other members of their family from time to time. Parents might argue about money, their children and household jobs. Children fight about any number of things.Sometimes arguments in families get out of hand and people get hurt. When this happens between adults, it affects everyone, especially the children. Domestic violence happens in all sorts of families and plays a major part in the breakdown of families.Most people don’t want to think that what happens in their family is ‘domestic violence’. It’s hard to talk about, and people might ignore or even deny it’s happening. Many people find that talking about it, even to their closest friends, is something they can’t do, or feel they shouldn’t do.Unfortunately, domestic violence hardly ever goes away by itself. It usually gets worse over time unless real changes in attitude and behaviour are made.There is never any excuse for bullying, abuse or violence. If you think you could be a danger to your family, leave until you’re calm. If you think you or your children are in immediate danger, leave or call the police (in Australia dial 000). If you want to talk to someone and don’t know what to do, call your local Domestic Violence Crisis Service or your local Community Health Centre.What is domestic violence?When most of us think of domestic violence, we think of hitting. This is certainly part of it. In general, abuse or violence happens when people use their power to hurt, control or bully someone else. This can be done with words or with actions.Domestic violence is what happens when one partner is hurt physically or emotionally, and they fear it will happen again.Here are some other key points about domestic violence:Domestic violence happens in relationships between couples who are going out together, living together, married, separated or divorced.It happens between men and women, and in same sex relationships.People from both sexes can be abusive or violent. People who are abusive tend to ‘play down’ what they do, while those on the receiving end tend to blame themselves or ‘play down’ the effect of what has happened.Unfortunately, some people accept violence and abuse as a part of relationships.Arguing is not domestic violence Arguing, or telling someone that you disagree with them, or even feeling and expressing your anger, is a necessary part of relationships. Arguing can be done without anyone being hurt, and is one of the ways adults manage their differences and sort out problems.Children learn about relationships and how to manage a disagreement by watching how adults do this, particularly their parents.One of the most important things you can do for your children is to show that you can disagree about things and not get violent and still respect and care for the other person.Why it happensIt might be hard to understand why people could deliberately hurt others, especially those they say they love.Many different things can lead to domestic violence. For example, some people:are stronger, bigger, louder and have more authority or control than others, and might think they have more right than others to get their own waydon’t have the skills to deal with the stresses of life or know how to handle their feelings. They might get frustrated and angry and ‘take it out’ on othersmight be jealous and believe they have the right to control the behaviour of their partnersee their partner as someone they ‘own’ and believe they can treat them as they likegrow up in families where abuse and violence was learnt as a way for people to deal with their differences, or to get what they want. They might not know other ways of behaving.How it startsIn some families, disagreements and arguments can end in domestic violence. This happens when people believe they know best, that they have a right to try and make everyone do what they want, and insist on having their own way no matter what it takes. Sometimes drugs and alcohol can play a part, although they are never an excuse.There’s a common pattern to this abuse and violence, sometimes called the ‘cycle of violence’. This cycle often gets worse over time and occurs more often. It doesn’t usually go away by itself.Build-up This is the time when a person begins to feel irritated and annoyed. The person might believe their partner is pushing them even though the partner might actually be trying very hard to ‘keep the peace’. As these feelings become more intense, the person might get more verbally abusive and threatening. Build-up leads to an explosion sooner or later if nothing is done to deal with the feelings. This build-up can take weeks, days or only minutes.Explosion This is the time when a partner can get physically hurt if force is used. This can include pushing, shoving or beatings that can leave bruises or broken bones. There can be yelling, cruel language or threats made. Violence at this point can be life-threatening.Feeling sorry Sometimes afterwards the person might say sorry. The person might act helpless and guilty. They might promise they’ll never do it again, and talk about how much they love their partner. Some don’t see themselves as responsible for what’s happened. They might blame the partner, alcohol or drugs, or brush it off as not being important. Some might deny that anything happened at all.False honeymoon The violent person might try to make up for the behaviour by buying gifts, fixing things around the house and generally trying to please their partner. This might be a relief, as things between the couple might seem better than they have for a long time. But unless they follow promises through with changes to their behaviour, it’s likely the pattern will start again.Effects of domestic violenceEffects on family life Domestic violence can result in family members not feeling safe, and not trusting or feeling supported by others within the family. There can be a loss of confidence or low self-esteem in family members. It might also end in a separation or divorce.Effects on the parents The partner who is abused might feel:intimidated, stressed, anxious, shamed, guilty, depressed and very alone less able to cope with parenting  less able to cope with life. The partner who abuses might feel:frustrated strong anger that’s hard to control  unappreciated by the family  less able to parent well very alone. Effects on childrenLiving with domestic violence affects children, both physically and emotionally. How badly they are affected will depend on their age, how long the violence has been happening and what happens. It can be hard for children to cope with the seesawing feelings at home as the pattern continues. Children often live in a constant state of anticipation, waiting for it to happen again.The effects on children can include feelings of fear, mistrust, shame, anger, helplessness, low self-esteem and depression. Children might show signs of stress, such as headaches, stomach aches, sleeping problems, nightmares and bed-wetting.Children in these situations might start believing that violence in families is normal, and that the only way to get what you want is by using violence. They can learn that it’s OK to be violent or to be abused.Other effects and signs include:missing school to stay near a parent who is hurt  running away from home  using drugs and alcohol  aggressive language and behaviour  poor school performance  not having friendswithdrawing from family activities. Note: there might be other reasons for these behaviours in children.What parents can doIf domestic violence is happening in your home, you need to get help.The partner who abuses If you bully or abuse your partner, or find it hard to control your anger, you can learn ways other than using violence and abuse to deal with your feelings. Talk to someone who understands the problem of domestic violence or phone a domestic violence helpline.If you think you could be a danger to your family, leave until you have calmed down.The partner who is abused You have a right to be safe. You are not responsible for this violence and abuse. If you or your children are in immediate danger, call the police on 000 (in Australia).If you’re scared or living in fear of your partner, it’s important to consider your safety and the safety of your children. Your children need to understand that violent behaviour is never acceptable.Some time away from your partner can help you see things more clearly.Talking to someone who understands these kinds of problems can help you sort out what to do.How to help your childrenChildren need:protection from physical, emotional and verbal abuse  to know that bullying, abuse and violence is not OK encouragement to talk about their feelings and worries extra support from a trusted adult  support with schooling  professional help if they show signs of behavioural or emotional problems to be reassured it isn’t their fault to be reassured they’re loved to know where they can get help in an emergency (dial 000 in Australia) or contact police or Kids Helpline.The Line campaign, run by the Australian Government Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs, aims to help teenagers and young adults through difficult times in their lives, including domestic violence. For more information and help, you could also visit the Reach Out domestic violence webpage. RemindersEveryone has the right to be safe.  There’s never any excuse for bullying, abuse and violence.  Abuse, bullying and violent behaviour often becomes a pattern of behaviour.  Children suffer in an environment with domestic violence.  People who are abusive or bully others can learn to behave differently.  If you handle arguments without using abuse and violence, your children can learn to do the same.  If you’re concerned about the effects of your behaviour on your family, or are frightened by your partner’s behaviour, get professional help and advice. Don’t wait in the hope that it will go away. BooksThere are many books available that examine domestic violence, its origins and its impact on families and children. Two texts you might find useful are:Osofsky, Joy (Ed.) (1998). Children in a Violent Society. The Guilford Press. Berry, Dawn Bradley (2000). The Domestic Violence Sourcebook. McGraw Hill. Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesMouzos, J., & Makkai, T. (2004). Women’s experiences of male violence: Findings from the Australian component of the International Violence against Women Survey (IVAWS). Australian Institute of Criminology. Retrieved July 1, 2010, from http://www.aic.gov.au/publications/rpp/56/RPP56.pdf.World Health Organisation (2005). The multi country study on women’s health and domestic violence against women. Gender, Women and Health site. Retrieved July 1, 2010, from http://www.who.int/gender/violence/multicountry/en/.World Health Organisation (2002). The world report on violence and health. Injuries and Violence Prevention site. Retrieved July 1, 2010, from http://www.who.int/.30/08/201130/08/201306/04/20117111100Coping with a crisisParents coping with a crisisCoping with crisisCrisis - dealing with000An explanation of crisis, especially in relation to families, including ways to identify when someone is in a crisis; emotions including stress, anger and anxiety; typical reactions in times of crisis, suggestions for how to cope with a crisis and how to help children during personal and family crisis.00-100-30A crisis is when we get so stressed or overwhelmed we feel we can’t cope. Lots of things can bring on a crisis – especially for parents. After you get over the immediate feelings of stress and anxiety, a crisis can sometimes lead you to making positive changes.What is a crisis?What can lead to a crisis?What you need to know about a crisisHow to know when someone is in a crisisHow children reactWhat parents can doEveryone knows about stress – it’s just part of life. It isn’t always unhealthy, as it’s what makes us get things done on time, or remember things. But when we get too stressed, stress becomes distress, and things get harder to handle.If we get to the point where we’re so stressed we don’t believe we can cope with a situation any more, we’re in a state of crisis. We can have crises at work, at home or in any part of our lives. In a lifetime of bringing up children, parents can be faced with lots of crises. A crisis is often the time to make changes so things can be better in future.What is a crisis?A crisis usually has several parts: the event, feelings that you can’t cope, and a strong emotional response.The kind of event that can trigger a crisis usually causes (or threatens to cause) some sort of loss, for example: loss of someone through death or separationloss of health through an illness or accidentloss of something, such as a house or a jobloss of good feelings, leading to bad feelings – for example, feeling bad about yourself, feeling old, feeling a failure, feeling alone.‘Chronic stressors’ – especially stressful events in your life, such as financial troubles or problems with housing – can also contribute to a feeling of crisis.You might feel unable to cope because you’ve never been in the situation before, or because right now you feel sick or worn out, or because you’re in a similar situation to one you found hard to cope with before.You might feel frightened, anxious or angry as a result of the high level of stress.Sometimes it’s not just one thing that causes the feelings – it can be a whole lot of things piling up on each other.The good news is that people never stay in crisis forever – it’s just too painful! Experts agree that crises tend to last for between a few hours and a few weeks – 6-8 weeks at the most. After that, it’s pretty likely that either the situation will change, or how we react to it changes. Everyone has crises, but it’s how we deal with them that counts.What can lead to a crisis?Many things can lead to a crisis, including:a child leaving homea child or family member getting in trouble with the lawa child starting school or leaving schoola major birthday (such as entering a new decade)an accident or injury to you or a loved onebeing arrestedchanges in your workplacedeath of a loved onehaving a child with a disabilityhaving a miscarriagelosing or winning moneylosing your jobnatural disasters and tragedies, such as fire and floodseparation or divorce.Even ‘good’ things can lead to a crisis. For example:a promotiongetting marriedmoving housemultiple birthsthe birth of a child and the early weeks of parenthood.What you need to know about a crisisHow we react to a crisis is very personal. What feels scary to someone else might not feel scary to you, and what you see as a crisis today might not be a crisis to you next week.In a crisis, there’s always a sense of danger, and a sense of actually or possibly losing something or someone.When we’re in crisis, we usually can’t see what we can do about it, because we’re too close to the problem.Crises always involve making a choice. We can be overwhelmed by it. We can feel trapped or powerless. We can either do nothing and accept the situation, or we can choose to do something about it. A crisis signals a time when we’re most willing to make changes.How to know when someone is in a crisisThere are signs that suggest that someone is in crisis. These include:behaviour changes, such as broken sleep, inability to sleep, antisocial behaviour, sudden outbursts of anger, loss of appetite and cryingemotional signs, such as anxiety, withdrawal, despair, helplessness, agitation and panicphysical signs, such as sweaty palms, heart palpitations, dilated pupils, rapid breathing, looking flushed and shakingunclear thinking, such as confusion, and an inability to concentrate or make decisions.People in crisis often feel:a sense of danger – ‘I feel nervous and scared’a sense of urgency – ‘I need help now!’anger – ‘How dare he die and leave me’apathy – ‘I just don’t care’bewilderment – ‘I've never felt like this before’confusion – ‘I can’t think clearly’despair – ‘It all feels hopeless’immobility – ‘I feel stuck and nothing helps’that the situation is unfair – ‘Why did this happen to me?’How children reactChildren have their own crises. This can be very confusing for you, particularly when you don’t know the cause. Sometimes things that seem small to adults can bring on a crisis for a child. Seeing a parent or parents in distress can set off a crisis for a child.The sorts of feelings children have in a crisis are very similar to those of parents, but children are usually less able to put them into words. Children often show their feelings in action rather than words.Typical reactions of children in times of crisis can be:acting as though they’re youngeralways worrying about what could go wrongbehaviour problemsdisturbed sleepfear of things that might be associated with the crisis, such as loud noises, dogs, strangersfear that what happened in one area of life will take over their whole lifelack of concentrationloss of interest in schoolproblems with friends.Children react differently to crises at different ages:early childhood (1-4 years) – thumb-sucking, bedwetting, fear of the dark, clinging to parents, nightmares, sleep problems (can’t get to sleep or waking up), loss of bladder or bowel control (or constipation), speech problems, feeding problems, fear of being left alone, fretfulchildhood (5-8 years) – irritability, whining, clinging, aggressive behaviour at home or school, competing for attention, nightmares, fear of the dark, avoiding school, poor concentration at school, fear of being hurt, fear of being abandoned, confusion, school refusal, general anxiety, headaches, ‘tummy aches’, being ‘too good’, sleep problems.What parents can doFor themselves Children learn about life from their parents and other adults, so how you deal with situations affects how your children handle their lives. Your role is to help children understand that bad things do happen, but that how we deal with them is what counts.When you’re faced with a crisis, you could try the following strategies:Recognise how you’re feeling – pretending you don’t have feelings won’t make them go away.Work out which areas of your life you can control, and take charge of these. Sometimes doing normal things, such as putting on a load of washing, will make you feel more in control.Give yourself some leeway not to be a super-parent. Everyone falls in a heap sometimes!Get support for yourself from friends or relatives, or get professional help – a counsellor, doctor, lawyer or accountant might be able to give you the information you really need.Anticipate problems that might come along and make plans for dealing with them. Anniversaries and special occasions such as birthdays or Christmas can often set off old hurts.For children When a child’s world falls apart, they need to feel that there’s someone they can rely on. Here are some ideas on how to help:Try not to overreact. If you panic, you might only make your child more afraid. Take a few minutes to gather yourself together before you talk to your child about the issue. Tell your child if you’re upset, but reassure her you’ll be able to support her to manage the situation. If you’re too distressed, you might need to get someone else to support you both.Let your child see you’re upset, but reassure him you’ll be OK (if this is true). Assure him he’ll be looked after.Recognise that children usually become upset or fearful when their parents are upset.Take charge if you need to, particularly if your child is really upset. You’ll need to take over until she’s calm enough to take control of herself.Try not to let the situation grow bigger than it really is, but at the same time recognise that your child’s sense of it being ‘the end of the world’ is a very real feeling to him. Show that you understand how he must feel.Talk to your child. Give answers, even if it’s very hard for you, but keep your answers as simple as possible, using words your child can understand. If discussing the death of a loved one, using the word ‘died’ can be a better choice than saying ‘gone to heaven’. On the other hand, saying that someone has ‘gone to heaven’ might be a good answer if it’s part of your family’s beliefs.You might have to repeat simple things many times.Ask your child what she wants or needs from you right now.It’s OK to say ‘I don’t know’.Try not to lecture.Give your child enough information so he can understand what the problem is, without unnecessary detail. If you tell him nothing, he’ll probably imagine the worst. Tell your child what he needs to know – he might surprise you with how much he understands. Ask him to tell you what he understands and what else he wants to know.Let your child know if it’s an adult problem you’re working out. She might surprise you with the love and reassurance she offers you, but won’t be able to solve adult problems. Let her know you don’t need her to look after you.Try to get your child to do a normal activity or chore as soon as possible. Doing something as simple as helping you take out the rubbish can help your child feel some sense of normality in the middle of chaos.Keep to old routines. Let your child keep to normal routines as much as you can, because it helps him feel safer – but accept that it just might not be possible for a while.Contact with friends or relatives might help make things feel normal again.Reassure your child, and remember that actions speak louder than words. Hold your child if that usually makes her feel safer. Some children, particularly older ones, might not want to be touched, so follow their cue. Just be there.Night-time can be especially frightening for children. Spending extra time putting your child to bed can be useful, and using a night-light or allowing your child to come to you in the night might help.Let your young child use a dummy, a favourite toy or a blanket as much as he needs. This can be reassuring for him.Encourage your child with hope and optimism, but don’t make false promises.Allow your child to express her feelings, and give her time to do so without rushing her.Help your child get feelings out through play or physical activity (playdough, drawing, writing, telling stories, writing letters or keeping a diary). If your child needs to be aggressive, help him find a physical activity that uses energy and gives a feeling of satisfaction (such as playing with building blocks or a cubby house, hitting a ball, running, going to a gym or playing sports).Get help or more information. A consultation with a professional about what’s happening for your child might be enough. Try to act sooner rather than later.If you’re in crisis yourself, and for the time being can’t give your child what she needs, find another adult your child trusts to be her support. This is especially important during a family break-up or when you’re suffering a great personal loss.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articles04/05/200609/02/201151111Reducing stress with muscle relaxationMuscle relaxationRelaxation - muscle techniqueMuscle relaxationStress relief - muscle relaxation000A muscular relaxation technique for times of stress, including a step-by-step guide to how stressed parents can relax their muscles and ease stress.0Green0-100-30Getting your body to relax physically is one way of relieving tension and feeling calmer.Muscle relaxation is one of many ways of achieving physical relaxation. Meditation, yoga, a hot bath or shower and even vigorous exercise can also have a relaxing effect on your body and mind.The following technique is an easy method of muscle relaxation. It involves relaxing each part of your body one by one, called progressive muscle relaxation.Choose a time of the day when you’re confident that you won’t be interrupted (for example, when baby is having a nap). About 20 minutes is a good length of time.Find a place in the house that’s quiet and away from everyone else.Sit or lie down with your eyes closed. If you sit, you might want to sit in a comfortable chair or on the floor against the wall.Make sure you’re warm enough.Start with your feet. As you slowly breathe in, tense the muscles in your feet and hold the tension briefly. As you breathe out, slowly relax them. Wait a moment, focusing on the relaxed feeling, then repeat once.Move to your calves and repeat the above. Work your way up your body in order of knees, thighs, pelvis, stomach, chest, arms, hands, face and forehead. Repeat a couple of times for each body part, until it feels heavy and relaxed.When your whole body feels relaxed, continue to sit awhile, breathing gently in and out.If it helps, imagine yourself in a quiet, serene setting or picture yourself in a favourite place, like the garden, a forest or by a river. Keep imagining yourself in this place for a while.Quick tip: if you’ve got only a few minutes, try this relaxation exercise on just your arms, shoulders and face. You’ll be surprised at how well it works.You can also get more detailed exercises on DVDs and CDs and in books on stress management. Look in your local library or bookshop or check online.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articles4/5/20069/2/201121111Feeling anxious or worriedFeeling anxiousAnxiety - copingWorry - feelingFeeling anxious or worried000A brief outline of how parents can cope with anxiety, worry, stress or negative feelings about parenting or other aspects of raising children.0Green0-100-30Nothing is more normal than worry about a new baby, or about how you’re going as a parent.Coping with anxiety or worryAnxiety and worry about parenting is normal. The problem is when worry or anxiety becomes extreme. Then it can get in the way of your health and your parenting.If you’re worried or stressed, talk to someone about it. Addressing any negative feelings can help you deal with them and avoid more serious problems later.To avoid letting things get worse, you could:speak with a partner or friend at firsttry different ways to relaxtry to deal with the questions on your mind and then move on. Often questions like, ‘How will I pay that bill?’ or ‘What will I cook for dinner tomorrow?’ or ‘When will I do the shopping?’ buzz around our brains and worry us more then they shouldKeep a diary or journal to record your feelings and help identify a pattern of what upsets youMeet with your doctor if things seem more serious.RightHow parents groups can help with anxiety and worry‘It was my sanity’, says one mum of her weekly mothers group.In this short video on parent support groups, Australian mothers and fathers discuss the benefits of parents groups. They can help you deal with some of the anxiety that comes with being a new parent by letting you see that there’s a big range of normal when it comes to child development. You can also connect with other parents and share your feelings and experiences, both good and bad. This can be a great support during the tough times.Video TranscriptsRelated articles4/5/20062/2/201121111Breathing for relaxationBreathing relaxationBreathing - relaxationRelaxation - breathing000Breathing technique to help you relax and calm down; suggestions on how to relax. 0Green0-100-30Something as simple as relaxing your breathing can help with your emotions and calm you down.There are many different breathing exercises. Here is one that you can do anywhere, anytime that you feel like you need to calm down.Sit, stand or lie down so that you’re comfortable.Close your eyes if you prefer.Focus on your breathing, still breathing normally.Start breathing more deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth. Imagine that you’re trying to gently fill your stomach with air (your abdomen should rise as you breathe in).As you breathe out, relax the muscles in your face, neck and shoulders, and gradually work through the rest of your body.If it helps, say something quietly to yourself such as ‘relax’ or ‘easy does it’.Concentrate on your breathing and your body.This exercise can take as little as a few seconds or longer, depending on how you feel. Once you get the hang of it, you'll find that you can feel calmer more quickly and more easily each time.Another tip: find ways to smile and laugh. It can really help your stress levels to enjoy yourself. Talk with a friend who makes you laugh, or watch a funny TV show.Deep breathing exercises are not recommended if your stress levels put you at risk of hyperventilation (as in a ‘panic attack’).RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articles4/5/20069/2/201161111Feeling angryFeeling angryFeelings - angerAnger - coping with000A guide for parents to what causes anger, with information on what to do when you are feeling angry with your partner or angry at your children. Also includes information on where to get help and tips on handling conflict and conflict management.0Green0-100-30Although parents usually look forward to parenting as something that will be mostly happy, there are times when all parents feel very angry with their children or even that they don’t like their children.It is important to think about when these times happen, so you can make sure that your children are safe. It is also important to try to work out and deal with whatever is causing your anger, for your own sake as well as for your children.If you sometimes feel very angry and your child is in danger of being hurt, put your child somewhere safe and then take a break yourself until you can manage your feelings.What causes anger?There are times in all parents’ lives when they feel very angry. Parenting is rewarding but not always easy. Anger might also stem from circumstances outside the family home, like conditions at paid work. Most of the time parents manage to handle it OK, but sometimes the anger can be close to getting out of control.Anger is always a mixture of feelings. It can come from being depressed or powerless, feeling guilty, feeling disappointed, feeling frustrated, not feeling valued and useful, or just from plain tiredness. If you can, think about which feelings are mixed up with your anger. It will help you to understand what is causing it. Then you need to try to do something about the cause.If you find yourself feeling angry a lot of the time, it is usually because something is going wrong in your life, not because you are a bad parent or there is something wrong with you. You might need to get help to find out what the matter is and to change it.What you can do when you are angrySometimes anger is caused by what you are saying to yourself. For example, if your child has a tantrum and you say to yourself, ‘Why should I take this – I’ve got to show this child who’s boss’, you will feel angry and perhaps punish the child. If you say to yourself, ‘I can see my child is so upset that he can’t manage his feelings at the moment’, you are more likely to be able to keep calm and to help your child learn to manage his feelings.Get to know your own body’s signals for when anger is building up and act before it gets out of control. It’s better to act before you have a big explosion.Work out when you are most likely to lose your temper, and plan to do something different at those times to stop this happening. For example, when you first get home from work, do something physical or something that relaxes you.Think about what is most relaxing for you personally. This is different for different people. It might be having a cup of tea or a bath, reading a book, going for a walk, listening to music, or whatever helps you unwind.Get some space. Go outside for a walk or a run. If you have very young children and no-one to mind them, take them with you.Take a break. If possible get someone to mind the children for a while and take some time out for you.Talk about your feelings to another adult who understands. Ring a friend.Talk to the children. If they are old enough, tell them how you feel without blaming them (otherwise they are likely to blame themselves). For example, ‘I feel angry because I am tired’, not ‘You make me angry’.Tell yourself that children never intend or set out to make their parents angry – it's true!If you need to, ring a parent hotline.In a crisis, if you are about to hurt your child, make sure the child is safe and go into another room until your feelings have settled down. Make a cup of tea, listen to music – whatever helps you. Say to your child, even if she is a baby, ‘Mummy/Daddy has to go and calm down first. I’ll be back as soon as I can’.What you can do to stop yourself from getting angryTry not to let things build up so they get too much and you lose your temper.Often parents get angry because they are tired and stressed. If this is happening to you, sit down and see if you can re-plan your day.If you can, talk to someone (such as your partner or a close friend) about the feelings underneath the anger. This often helps in managing anger. Try to do something about whatever is causing the underlying feelings if you can.If you have not learned ways to show you are angry without being hurtful to other people, it could help to talk to a professional or attend a course about communication and assertiveness (being able to get your point over without getting angry).If the anger goes on in spite of everything you try, it is worth getting some help from a professional counsellor. You could speak with your doctor about how to find this help.It can be very damaging to children to be in a home where there are lots of angry voices and actions, even if the anger is not directed at them.If your partner is angryWhen you are both feeling OK, try to work out a plan for what to do in an angry time. For example, you might decide that the person who is feeling uncomfortable with the other’s anger will leave (and perhaps take the children too) until the anger has calmed down. Then act on your plan.Be prepared afterwards to talk to each other about what caused the anger and to really listen to each other’s point of view.No-one is responsible for another person’s anger or for what they do when they are angry.When one person does something, how other people react depends on how they take it – and that is different with different people. Some people might be angry and others sad, and it might not worry others at all.Each of us is responsible for our own feelings and how we show them.It is everyone’s responsibility to make sure they do not show their anger in ways that harm others.No-one has to take abuse from anyone else. If this is happening, it’s important that you talk to someone about getting professional help.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articles4/5/20062/2/201131111Feeling stressedFeeling stressedStress - recognising and coping000A guide to understanding stress, recognising signs of stress and stress triggers, and suggestions for coping if you're feeling stressed by parenting.0Green0-100-30Stress is a normal reaction to changes and challenges, such as those that come with being a parent. It’s easier to deal with stress if you know the signs, as well as the things in your life that might cause it.What you need to know about stressStress can happen when people experience change, frustration or something that they are worried they might not be able to deal with.Normal stress can help us focus and get things done. It is possible to feel ‘good stress’ – for example, when you’re facing a number of challenges that you feel you can handle.But too much stress can be overwhelming, making it difficult to cope with everyday tasks. Too much stress can also lead to illness or behaviour that gets in the way of your ability to parent effectively.Stress is caused by stress triggers. A trigger might be a certain event that affects you, like having too many people around or when your child cries for a long time. You might notice that events such as these cause you to feel more stressed. In other words, you might start worrying more, not sleeping well or not feeling well.If you know what your stress triggers are, it can be easier to deal with stress.Some signs that you might be stressedYou can expect to feel stress from time to time. Tiredness, daily duties and things that happen in your life can combine to make you feel like it’s all too much.Some signs of stress might be:worrying about absolutely everythingdrinking too much alcohol, smoking too much, or using drugsfinding it hard to be tolerant with your childrennot getting enough sleepnot feeling well – perhaps you have headaches or other aches and painsfeeling unenthusiastic about thingsnot wanting to get out of bed in the morninghaving thoughts such as ‘I’m never going to get out of this mess’feeling that you’re not getting enough time with your partner or your childrenfeeling that you’re not managing practical everyday things, such as family routines and finances.Cortisol is a hormone in your body related to stress. Your body’s cortisol levels can rise at the end of a long or difficult day, making it hard to relax. If this is happening a lot, you will be experiencing high levels of stress.Simple tips for coping with stressTry to look after your physical health – eat well, get some exercise, and try to make time for rest.Try to focus on the things you absolutely must do. Avoid taking on any more than you can handle. Making a plan can help cut down on worrying. Family routines can help you feel more on top of things and take your stress down a notch or two.Talk things over with your partner or a friend before issues become bigger. If this is hard to do, you might want to try keeping a diary to record your thoughts and feelings. This might even help you offload some of your feelings.If you have some large tasks to deal with, break them down into smaller, more manageable tasks.Spending some time with friends can be a real help – even meeting for a quick coffee can be enough.Stress often means you are trying to do too much – try setting realistic goals for your day.Avoid stimulants like cigarettes and caffeine (or depressants like alcohol) if you can.If you feel tired, try to get more rest. Just grabbing a quick nap can change your mood.Slow down your social life as much as you can for a while.If you’re working long hours, try to reduce work or school hours.With a new baby or older children with active lives, it can be easy to forget to take time for yourself. So try to do something you really enjoy each day.Humour does wonders to melt away stress, and provides instant relief. Seeing the funny side of things will make you feel much better. Try getting hold of a friend who makes you laugh or watch half an hour of comedy on TV.Make a list of things that you enjoy. Try to do one thing on the list everyday, or every couple of days. If possible, take a holiday or some time on the weekend to relax and take it easy.Positive thinking and self-talk Positive thinking and positive self-talk are effective ways of dealing with stress. They increase your positive feelings and therefore your ability to cope with stressful situations.To put positive thinking and self-talk into action, try the following:Challenge negative thoughts about things that cause you stress. For example, your child screams in the supermarket. You think, ‘Everyone will think I’m a bad parent’. You could challenge this by asking yourself, ‘How do I know that people will think this?’, ‘Would I think this about someone else?’, ‘What I can do to deal with this problem?’Be realistic about what can be done. For example, if your child screams in the supermarket, it might be too much to expect it not to happen at all. But perhaps you could change the situation so the screaming is less likely to happen. Might your child scream less if you went shopping at a different time of day, for example?Develop positive self-talk statements that are useful to you. For example, you could say to yourself, ‘The shopping won’t take much longer – I can get through it’, ‘People are minding their own business – they’re not looking at us’, ‘Who cares what other people think?’, ‘I can do this’, ‘I will stay calm’.The more you practise positive self-talk, the more automatic it will become in your life. Start practising in one situation that causes you stress, and then move on to another one.Relaxation strategies for parentsThere are some very easy ways to unwind. Reading a magazine, watching some television, finding some time for your favourite interests – simple things can make you feel better about your day.Anything that reduces your physical or mental tension can ease your stress levels. This might be going for a walk, reading a book, or doing some gardening, yoga or meditation.Some people find shopping relieves stress. This might help but beware of the downsides, such as spending more than you can afford. There are also tapes or CDs available in public libraries and bookshops that can help with relaxation.You can read more in our articles on breathing and muscle relaxation techniques. You could try these techniques in response to any stress triggers you have identified.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesBaskin, A., & Fawcett, H. (2006).  More than a mom: Living a full and balanced life when your child has special needs. MD: Woodbine House. Cotton, D.H.G. (1990). Stress management: An integrated approach to therapy. New York: Brunner-Mazel.Marshak, L.E., & Prezant, F.P. (2007). Married with special-needs children: A couples' guide to keeping connected. MD: Woodbine HouseNaseef, R., & Ariel, C. (2006). Voices from the spectrum: Parents, grandparents, siblings, people With Autism, and professionals share their wisdom. London: Jessica KingsleyOstberg, M., & Hagekull, B. (2000). A structural modeling approach to the understanding of parenting stress. Journal of Clinical and Child Psychology, 29(4), 615-625.18/12/20092/2/2011411110000Getting supportGetting support100Practical hints on how to seek support and where to get professional help.0Green0-100-30Super-parents are a myth – asking for help will make your life and your children’s lives better.Relaxed, healthy parents are better able to look after their children.Personal support, practical help and good information can all make your parenting job easier.Support from family, friends and other parents can mean you don't have to rely on professionals for general advice.If you are isolated from friends and family, it can make parenting even more stressful and difficult. Having some kind of support network will make life easier for you and your children.The first step is probably the hardest: to get support you may have to either accept help offered to you or (perhaps more confronting) ask others to help you. Why support is importantYou may have heard all kinds of myths about how life as a parent is ‘supposed’ to be. But there’s no such thing as a super-parent, so don’t expect that you’ll be one. There is no truth to myths like:  It’s a parent’s ‘job’ to be with their children 24 hours a day, seven days a week.Children will think their parents don't love them if someone else takes care of them.Parents ‘should’ be able to manage by themselves – getting help equals failure as a parent.If these ideas hold you back from seeking help, you might want to consider the following:Parents who get the support they need are more relaxed and healthier, and therefore better able to look after their children.Parents who do seek help set a good example for their children by teaching that you don’t have to do it alone and that it is OK to ask for help when you need to.Seeking help has the added benefit of showing other people that they are valued and needed. Many people actually like being asked for help: it makes them feel special to you.It might sound strange, but giving others support is one of the best ways of making sure you also get the support you need. When you offer or ask for help, others feel that they can ask you for help in return.Types of supportAll parents need three kinds of support.Practical support: this is help with the day-to-day realities of parenting and functioning as a family. Examples of this kind of support include money, babysitters, help in case of emergencies, assistance with transport, help with household tasks, people to have fun with. People who could provide this kind of support may include your extended family, friends, teachers, principals, coaches, club leaders, ministers, church elders, neighbours, youth pastors, parents of your children’s friends, and so on.Personal support: this is support for you as a person, and comes in the form of adult friendships and relationships. The most valuable support of this kind comes from a person who is available, willing to listen and share ideas and advice if you ask, and able to do so in a positive and non-judgemental way. Many of the people listed in ‘Practical support’ may also be able to give you personal support. It can be particularly great to find someone who is in the same position as you and who shares things in common – you might find good friends through first-time parent groups or through your kindergarten or school.Information support: because parenting involves learning on the job, getting good information is critical for every parent. Whether you're wondering about breastfeeding, changes to your body, managing your time or watching your child's latest developments, you can look to other parents and friends for ideas on parenting, and you can also read recommended books. Sometimes advice can be contradictory, but try not to be deterred. Consider any new ideas and ask yourself: does this sound right? What will work best for me and my child? If the topic is one of serious concern, you might want to think about who is giving the advice and whether they are qualified.There are many sources of information on raising children. This website is a good start. Information and support is also available from:parenting groups and play groupsschoolsbabysitting clubshealth centreslibrariesgovernment departmentsyour communityhealth centres and associations.Most importantly, develop relationships with people you can trust (including parents you admire and trained professionals you can speak to about health or social welfare concerns). This can even begin before you become a parent.When you need professional helpSupport from people in your social network is crucial in the long term. Research has shown that depending too heavily on health professionals can also be a problem for parents, especially if they rely too much on professionals for less formal support.However, there might be times when informal sources of support are not helping you deal with problems. It is always best to check with a professional if you:have a serious concern or are worried about any aspect of your child's health, development or behaviourhave tried strategies suggested on this website or in books and are still having troubleare having persistent feelings of depression, anger or resentment towards your childare frequently fighting with your partner, having fights that aren't resolved, or if there is violence in your relationship.To make a start, visit the Services and Support section of this website, call your local parent advice line, visit your community health centre, or speak with your maternal and child health nurse or family doctor.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesBarclay, L., Everitt, L., Rogan, F., Schmied, V., & Wylie, A. (1997). Becoming a mother: An analysis of women’s experiences of early motherhood. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 25, 719-728.Hanna, B.A., Edgcombe, G., Jackson, C.A., & Newman, S. (2002). The importance of first-time parent groups for new parents. Nursing and Health Sciences, 4, 209-214.4/5/20064/5/200671111/articles/grownups_services_and_support_nutshell.htmlMyths,Isolation,24-hour jobHaving sex againHaving sex againAfter birth - sex and sexualitySex after having a babyContraception000A guide to dealing with feelings about sexuality after having a baby, with information on having sex again, resuming a sexual relationship after having a baby, contraception and contraceptive methods and devices.0Green0-100-30Trust your own judgement on when to start having sex after your baby arrives. There’s no need to rush things, but it’s a good idea to think about contraception as early as possible.Getting the timing rightWhen you have a new baby, having sex might seem impossible, especially for women who have had stitches. But you will heal, and normal feelings will return. This might happen quickly or might take some time, especially if you had a difficult birth, or you’re feeling exhausted or down.You don’t need to wait until the postnatal check if you and your partner feel you’re ready for sex. If you feel comfortable, and bleeding has just about stopped, it’s OK (unless your doctor has advised otherwise).The first try might be a little difficult, especially if you feel anxious, which is likely. Take it slowly and use some lubrication if you need to. If it’s too painful, try again in a week or so, when healing is more complete.Physical issues and concernsSometimes, even when an episiotomy has fully healed, a tender spot remains, making intercourse painful. You will need to speak to your doctor if this is an ongoing problem. Pain might also be due to muscle spasm caused by tension and anxiety.Some women find their muscles are too loose rather than too tight after being stretched during birth, so they (and their partner) find sex less satisfying. Pelvic floor exercises will help this.While you are breastfeeding, your vagina may feel more dry than usual because of the change in hormones. Plenty of preparation can help, and many women use a lubricant to help things go smoothly. You can buy lubricating gel at the chemist.Breastfeeding mothers might also notice milk leaking or even spurting during sex. This is because the hormone oxytocin, which causes milk to let down, is involved in sexual arousal as well. Many people find this part of the fun, but if it is a problem try feeding the baby or expressing first.Your feelingsBecause of the oxytocin hormone, some mothers feel not only sensual but also sexual while feeding the baby. This is normal, so there’s no need to feel guilty about it.Some new mums feel more sexual than usual in the first few months after the baby is born, but many do not. The main reason for this is not usually pain, dryness or milk but sheer tiredness. Feeling that you are giving all you have to your baby day and night can leave you drained, with nothing left for your partner.It’s good if your partner can be understanding and loving in other ways and share more of the baby care, but if you’re feeling really flat much of the time, it’s important to work on regaining some energy. Taking care of yourself is not being selfish – the whole family will benefit.ContraceptionIf you’ve just had a baby, having another is probably the last thing on your mind. To make sure this doesn’t happen until you’re ready, you do need to give contraception some thought, and talk about it with your doctor.Breastfeeding as a form of contraceptionThe hormones involved in lactation (making milk) tend to stop you ovulating for the first few months. So breastfeeding itself can be a good contraceptive when several conditions are met:You should be fully breastfeeding day and night (not giving any other foods or fluids to your baby).You should not have had a period.Your baby should be less than six months old.Under these conditions, you have very little chance of falling pregnant (although it’s not a guarantee).This is called the Lactational Amenorrhoea Method, and works as well as the mini-pill or condoms but it can ‘fail’.  You can use the minipill or condoms while you’re still fully breastfeeding.Other forms of contraceptionYou need to use another method of contraception once:you have a periodyour baby reaches six monthsyou start giving baby other foods (for example, a bottle of milk, or solids).The combined oral contraceptive pill is not good to use when breastfeeding because it can decrease your milk supply. But progesterone-only pills (or minipills) are usually safe to use.Condoms and diaphragms are safe, whether or not you’re breastfeeding. If you used a diaphragm before having a baby, this might need to be refitted. An IUD (intra-uterine device) is another possibility. See your doctor if you’re interested in this.If you’re not breastfeeding, or as soon as you stop, your body gets ready to make another baby. You’ll probably get a period within a couple of months of giving birth (if not breastfeeding), or within a few weeks of weaning. Unlike when you’re fully breastfeeding, you might ovulate, and therefore possibly get pregnant, before your first period. Choose a contraceptive method as soon as you decide not to breastfeed. In this case, you have a lot of choice, including the combined pill or an implant such as implanon.Rightphysical intimacy and sexuality after having a baby‘Before you have a baby, you share your body with your partner. Once you have a baby, you share your body with your baby for a while’, says one mum in this short video. Another mum says this means you have to find a ‘new intimacy’ with your partner.All the mums and dads in this video agree that it can be difficult to be physically intimate after your baby arrives. They talk about physical and emotional difficulties, effects of sleep deprivation, and ways to cope with the changes in your relationship with your partner in the months after your child is born.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesLawrence, R.A., & Lawrence, R.M. (1999). Breastfeeding: A guide for the medical profession (5th edn). St Louis: Mosby.Liston, J. (1998). Breastfeeding and the use of recreational drugs – alcohol, caffeine, nicotine and marijuana. Breastfeeding Review, 6(2), 27-30.Pacey, S. (2004). Couples and the first baby: Responding to new parents’ sexual and relationship problems. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 29(3), 223-248.4/5/20069/2/201141111Your healthYour healthNutrition - parentsHealth - parentsFitness and physical activity - parents000Tips for parents on how to maintain physical health and fitness, including reasons to stay active; planning ahead for your diet; information about what nutrition your body needs; and tips for stocking up with nutritious foods for quick meals.0Green0-100-30Your health is as important as your children’s. It’s what allows you to take care of them. But with all the focus on looking after a child or baby, lots of parents forget or run out of time to look after themselves.Being a parent is much easier and more enjoyable if you’re feeling well. Keeping healthy can stop your day-to-day emotions from seesawing too far, and an active lifestyle contributes to general happiness.The keys to your good health are to balance what you eat and drink so that you have plenty of energy, and move, move, move every day to stay physically healthy.Physical health: tips for parentsParents are least likely to exercise compared with people in the broader community, according to latest research. When you’re tired, you want to rest every chance you get, but activity can increase your energy levels and make you feel better.For parents who are short on time, the easiest way is to fit physical activity into everyday activities. This could be a walk with your child, splashing about at the local creek, kicking a ball together in the park, or walking to the supermarket for a few items instead of driving. Even a tango with the vacuum cleaner, if that’s what you enjoy!Movement is what matters – 30 minutes or so a day, according to experts. Even little amounts of physical activity that add up to 30 minutes will lift your energy. And fitting in some regular vigorous exercise will help boost your health.There are three other good reasons to stay active: social enjoyment (catching up and playing sport or going for a walk with others, relaxation, and personal satisfaction with your fitness or appearance.You can find out more by reading the National Physical Activity Guidelines for Adults.Your dietYour diet gives you the energy you need during the day and keeps your body nourished so that it runs at its peak.Preparing balanced meals might sound like a big ask during the first chaotic weeks and months of parenthood. But once you get a feel for which foods provide the protein, vitamins and minerals you need, it’s easy to balance what you eat from each category.Your body needs:carbohydrates like potatoes, rice and bread for energyregular sources of protein like meat, fish and legumes to repair tissues and keep your body in good conditionvitamins for your immune system and overall healthessential minerals such as iron, calcium and zinc for your body’s chemical processes and growthfoods containing phytochemicals to help protect against various diseases.Plenty of fluids will also prevent dehydration, which can make you feel even more tired and lethargic. Drinking water is the purest, simplest and cheapest source – eight glasses a day is the recommended amount. Drinks with alcohol and caffeine actually take fluid out of your system. If you have these, try to top up with an extra glass of water.Faster food tipsTry our tips for saving time and preparing healthy meals quickly. They can help you have a balanced, tasty diet without being a gourmet cook or spending a lot of money.Quick meal ideasMeals such as fresh pasta with vegetables or a salad can be prepared in a few minutes and give your body a real boost.Fruit, vegetable sticks, cheese, yoghurt and muesli bars all make for healthy, easy snacks to grab when you’re busy with baby.Cans and packets of soup are a good backup for lunch or snacks.Frozen foods can be great shortcuts for healthy, tasty and nutritious meals.If you do run out of ingredients and energy, look for takeaway food that is still healthy, like a stir-fry with rice and vegetables.Pantry food ideas for quick mealsKeep long-life vegetables such as potatoes, carrots and onions.For energy, store dried pasta and other sources of carbohydrate, like rice, dry noodles, lentils and couscous.Keep dried foods like pine nuts, sun-dried tomatoes and shiitake mushrooms.Nuts such as almonds and cashews are a great source of protein and can be eaten as snacks or part of a full meal, but try to avoid the salted or fried ones.Tinned tomatoes, tomato paste, corn and other foods can be a lifesaver for one-pot dishes such as pasta sauces, soups and casseroles. Canned meats and fish, such as tuna, salmon, ham and sardines are good sources of protein, as are tinned legumes such as lentils.Soup in cans or packets makes an instant hot meal.Keep condiments such as tomato sauce, mustard, mayonnaise, soy, chilli or relish to give extra zest to quick snacks. Use ready-made stocks to add instant flavour to fast meals.Healthy frozen food ideasFrozen vegetables retain a lot of nutritional goodness.Try meat such as steak, mince, sausages and chicken. Try to freeze meat without bones.Grate cheese for homemade pizzas and other dishes.Bread and pastries also freeze well.Food preparation ideasCook for two nights instead of one, or freeze portions for another time.Keep leftovers for snacks and toasted sandwiches.Save on washing up by cooking one-pot meals such as soups, curries and casseroles.Cook smaller chunks of food faster to save time.Prepare food the night before if you have the time and energy.Check out our family recipes section for more quick, tasty and healthy meal ideas.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesDepartment of Health and Aged Care (1998). The Australian guide to healthy eating. Canberra: Australian Government Publishing Service.National Health and Medical Research Council (2003). Dietary guidelines for children and adolescents in Australia. Canberra: Australian Government Publishing Service.4/5/200626/1/201111111New parents: eating and drinkingNew parents: eating & drinkingNew parents - eating and drinkingEating and drinking - new parentsBreastfeeding mothers and diet000A guide to healthy eating for new parents, mothers and fathers, including breastfeeding mums. Includes a description of food for health and nutrition, myths about foods breastfeeding mothers should avoid, and information about drugs and medicine passing from breastmilk to baby.00-100-30Now that you’re a mum or dad, eating well is vital to help keep your energy up – even if it is hard to find the time.Tips for eating well for new mums and dadsFor new mums especially, try to eat at least three times a day to make sure you get all the nutrients you need to recover from the birth (and to make milk for your baby if you’re breastfeeding).For both mums and dads, the following tips are important:Eat a variety of foods each day.Eat plenty of breads and cereals (including wholegrains, rice and pasta).Eat several different vegetables and fruits each day.Eat protein foods every day – meat, fish, chicken, eggs, cheese, legumes (dried peas, beans, lentils).Eat foods containing calcium every day (a lot of calcium from your body will go into breastmilk). Milk and dairy products (for example, cheese, yoghurt and custards) are the easiest way to get calcium. You can also get calcium from soy milk that has had calcium added (check the label), tinned fish with bones (salmon and sardines), tofu, legumes, almonds and hummus, and smaller amounts from green vegetables.For breastfeeding mumsBreastfeeding mothers don’t need to eat a lot of extra food or any special foods. Your appetite and thirst will be a good guide. Drinking extra fluids won’t increase your milk supply, but you do need enough fluids. Try to have a drink yourself each time you feed the baby.There are many myths about foods that breastfeeding mothers shouldn’t eat for fear of upsetting the baby. Some mothers find that if they eat a lot of rich or spicy foods, or particular fruits or vegetables, their babies might be upset. Others find they can eat anything. So it’s a matter of trial and error. If you find you need to avoid several foods from one of the groups listed above, check to be sure that you’re still getting all the important nutrients.Drugs and other substances Drugs, tobacco or medicines you take might reach your baby through your milk. Alcohol and nicotine pass freely into the milk.According to research, cigarette smoking can affect the mother’s milk supply and might cause tummy upsets in children, so mothers are advised to give up smoking or reduce their smoking as much as possible, especially during the hour before feeding.Likewise, breastfeeding mothers are advised not to drink alcohol or to limit the amount to one drink, consumed just after breastfeeding. This allows the alcohol to be well metabolised before the next feed.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesDepartment of Health and Aged Care. (1998). The Australian guide to healthy eating. Canberra: Australian Government Publishing Service. Lawrence, R.A., & Lawrence, R.M. (1999). Breastfeeding: A guide for the medical profession (5th edn). St Louis: Mosby. Liston, J. (1998). Breastfeeding and the use of recreational drugs – alcohol, caffeine, nicotine and marijuana. Breastfeeding Review, 6(2), 27-30. National Health and Medical Research Council (2003). Dietary guidelines for children and adolescents in Australia. Canberra: Australian Government Publishing Service.04/05/200602/02/201141111Food, Food mythsBecoming a parentBecoming a parent100An overview of the new experiences, feelings and challenges that parenthood brings, and tips for dealing with relationship changes.0Green0-100-30Becoming a parent is a life-changing event. Not only are you a partner, a son or daughter and a close friend – you are now a mother or father too.About 50% of couples find they communicate less after having a baby – if you have a partner, this is the relationship most likely to be affected by parenthood.Tiredness and stress can creep in between all the excitement – staying healthy and fit helps you take care of your child.Get help where you can – raising a child is demanding and all parents need personal and practical support.Becoming a parent for the first time is a bit like throwing your entire life up into the air and then having to catch extra bits on the way down. The new bits include joy and absolute pleasure from the tiniest things, like a newborn smile or the curl of a little finger. And some other bits like less time for you, less time for your partner, family and friends, and maybe more tiredness than you ever imagined.With all the excitement, change and work that comes with being a mum or a dad, no wonder looking after yourself becomes more important than ever before.Try not to expect too much from yourself or your relationship in the first six to eight weeks. This is a time of transition and the most important thing is to enjoy connecting with your child.The better you feel, the more you will enjoy being a parent. Taking care of your mental health, your physical health and your relationships are the keys. These three things will help you have more fun, and more energy and stamina for when you need it.Becoming a parent: what to expectYou'll have lots of new feelings. There'll be some amazing highs, some breathy new feelings, and, yes, some lows. You might be on an emotional seesaw during the first months of parenthood.Tiredness and stress can take their toll, even in the first few days of parenthood. For most parents this time is just about getting through each day and the new experiences it brings. Lots of new parents feel that they are not coping at some stage or another. It can help to ask other new parents or friends about their experiences. Having realistic expectations of yourself makes it easier to adapt, rather than feeling disappointed or like you're not coping.Your relationships will probably change.If you are part of a couple, your relationship with your partner is likely to be the most affected.After becoming parents, it is common for couples to:experience changes in personal feelings, sexual closeness and levels of relationship satisfaction now that attention has to be shared three wayscommunicate less: about 50% of couples find thishave more relationship stress than usual, and some relationship upheavals, including with family and friendsreport less time and less energy for sexual closenessexperience more relationship conflict after the first few months.Research shows that happy couples have a positive effect on their children. Looking after your relationship with your partner can help keep your relationship healthy, and can help you both get the most out of being parents.Before you had a baby or child, it might have been fairly easy to look after yourself and your relationships with your partner and friends. Becoming a parent can change that. It might take more effort to do so in the same way that you used to.Relationships with friends and family can also change.Grandparents may be unsure how to help or how much space to give you.Your friends might not be sure how to help.Other children might be a bit jealous with the arrival of a new brother or sister.Taking care of relationships with friends and family is important because strong and supportive relationships make a massive difference when things get tough.Tips for helping friends and family adaptShare your experiences with grandparents and other family members. They are having a new experience too and might be still getting used to their roles. Think about ways to include them in your experience.Include siblings in the care of the new baby where you can.Be open with others and tell them how you are feeling.Try to find time on your own with your other children.Try to keep up contact with friends and other groups.Tips for staying healthy and fitThree little things make a world of difference when it comes to having the energy to look after and play with your new baby: staying active, eating well and getting as much rest as you can.Eating and drinking: new mumsHealth: new mumsHere are some lifestyle changes that can also help:Get support when you need it. Parenting is hard to do alone. Anyone looking after a child needs to be able to call on support of three types: practical help, personal support and good information.Change your lifestyle. Lots of people notice that they have less free time and less social time when they first become parents. If you're worried about this, you can try to make the change gradually, or find other ways to still keep up with friends and family.Sleep whenever you can. Sleep is a big one for many parents. If you find it hard to change your old sleeping hours, then you might feel tired and lack energy during the first few months. Find out more about sleep for parents.Quit smoking. Cigarettes may alleviate stress, but in the long run they make you feel worse. With the added motivation of creating a healthier environment for your child, this could be a good time to quit smoking. You can get tips for quitting smoking from the National Quitline.Find out what you can do to cope with feelings of stress, anxiety, worry, anger or depression if they occur. If you feel like you are having more downs than ups, think about speaking to a friend or GP for some support.Major life changes such as becoming a parent do cause negative feelings – it's how you respond to these changes that is important. It also helps to remember that these feelings will not last forever.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesCarter, B. (2005). Becoming parents: The family with young children. In B. Carter & M. McGoldrick (eds). Expanded family life cycle: The individual, family and social perspectives. NJ: Allyn & Bacon.Cowan, C.P., & Cowan, P.A. (2000). When partners become parents: The big life change for couples. Marwah, NJ: Erlbaum.Demick, J. (2002). Stages of parental development. In M.H. Bornstein (ed), The handbook of parenting, vol 3, 389-414. Marwah, NJ: Erlbaum.Heinicke, C.M. (2002). The transition to parenting. In M.H. Bornstein (ed), The handbook of parenting, vol 3, 363-388. Marwah, NJ: Erlbaum.4/5/200611111/articles/grownups_being_a_parent_nutshell.html/context/996Parenting solo: looking after yourselfParenting solo100Why it's important for single parents to look after themselves, and ideas for getting extra support.0Green0-100-30When you're parenting solo, taking care of yourself is especially important. Sharing the load with others is the secret to offsetting any extra challenges along the way.Managing your time, energy and finances can seem like an art form for parents who are single, separated or divorced.  Even if you relish the independence of raising a child by yourself, it can be harder as a solo parent to make time just for you. On top of that, it might be harder to:make decisions by yourself if you usually prefer to share thesecope if you or your child is sick, or if you are tired, stressed or depressedmake financial ends meet if you now have reduced incomedeal with changes in living arrangements, particularly those that come about if you are recently separated or divorced.The single biggest thing you can do to help is to call on your extended family, friends and other forms of support to help share the load. According to research, your social network can provide crucial back up, especially in the early stages of being a single parent.Tips for single parentsAsk family and friends to help when you need a break or some time out, if you are in contact and they live near you.If you can, share what you are going through with people you trust. This helps them understand and provide support when you ask.Find other parents in a similar situation to you – you could take turns helping each other out or providing back up. Ideas for meeting other parents or families include:joining new parents' groups; you can get great support and advice from others in your positionjoining a local community playgroup; your child benefits and you get to talk to other parents volunteering to help out at your child's child care or school where you are likely to meet other parentsgetting involved in a committee if your child has a special interest like playing sport.If you feel lonely, you can:try to spend more time catching up with friends, family, neighbours, or parents you meet through your childtry going out with new friendscontact free relationship support services for advice join a parent support group; for example Parents without Partners.Share decisions if you prefer not to make them all by yourself – you can talk things through with family, friends, other parents, or with a welfare professional such as a social worker, a psychologist or doctor.If you are coping with grief, try to give yourself as much time and space as possible. Your support people, including friends and family, will understand and help you carry on. A counsellor can also help.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/5/200619/8/201041101/articles/single_parents_support.html00About finances and debtImportance of family finances and debtAbout finances and debtFinancesDebt000Some things to consider when managing your finances.00-100-30Looking after your family’s finances helps you enjoy your life together.Knowing you have life’s expenses under control is a great way to avoid future stress or unnecessary worry.Making the most of your money can sometimes seem daunting. With so much advice on how to increase or invest your income (and so many ways to spend it!), it’s normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes.Try to focus on what’s best for your family rather than trying to consider every financial option out there.Ask yourself if you know enough about your entitlements. Could you be getting more?If you’re worried about managing the money you have, try developing a basic money plan.Decide what your priorities are, and it will be easier to control spending in the different areas of your family life.If you get into debtTaking steps to reduce debts will help you avoid stress, and if you have a partner it might help avoid arguments.If you find you’re not getting on top of things on your own, a financial counsellor may help you negotiate with debtors, explain options for dealing with outstanding bills and work with you to create a manageable budget.The Department of Family and Community Services offers free financial counselling services to individuals, families and small business operators who are experiencing financial difficulty due to unemployment, sickness, credit over-commitment and family breakdown. For further information go to the Commonwealth Financial Counselling Program. Centrelink offers free information and education through their Financial Information Service. This service is available and free for everybody, and you do not have to be receiving Centrelink payments. For further information go to the Centrelink website.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/05/200615/05/200611111Managing money and budgetingManaging money and family budgetsManaging moneyBudgetingSaving moneyMoney management000A guide to budgeting and saving money.00-100-30You can manage your budget all kinds of ways, but the goal is a yearly, monthly or weekly picture of what you need to spend and what you have left over.One way to start is to make a table listing what you have and what you owe.Budgeting will help you:spend your money on the things you really needset aside money for unforseen expensesstop accidental overspendingsave money for the things you dream about.Having a plan for how to manage your money will help you and your family save money and avoid getting into debt. It can also help you get on with being a family, rather than spending too much time on financial stresses.Working out how much money you need for everyday essentials like food, housing, utilities such as gas, electricity, phone and water, transport and medical services also helps you plan for unexpected expenses.After you’ve accounted for the essentials, hopefully there is some money left over to buy some of the things you want, as well as to save for emergencies and your long-term goals. The key is knowing how much ‘spare’ money you have, and only spending that.A long-term budget will include:average bills per month or weekyour mortgagewhat you pay on credit cardsany other debtsany other money you spendbank accountssuperannuation statements.Try to budget a specific amount for fun, leisure and personal expenses and then stick to it  (which is usually the hard part!)Read more about some simple tools for planning a budget. A home money plan – getting startedLooking over previous bills can help you plan how your income is spent or saved. You can then come up with estimates of what you spend a week, a month or even a year.Here are some of the things that you might want to include in your family’s budget:house repayments or rentcouncil fees and land taxesfoodutilities: gas, electricity, phone and waterhome maintenance and household goodsschool or tertiary study feesmedical and dental feescredit card and personal loan repaymentshealth, car and household insurancecar repairs and petrolpublic transportpersonal items like clothing and haircutsholidaysmiscellaneous items such as gifts and special treats for you and your familyentertainment.Keeping a simple savings plan means that you will be more likely to reach your goal (and buy that thing you really need).Decide what you’re saving for. What are your goals? Give yourself plenty of time – saving can seem to take forever.Think about how long it will take to reach the goals you’ve set. Be realistic and you will avoid feeling pressure.Review the pros and cons beforehand so that you know what you're getting into with your savings plan and what affect it will have on your life.Speak to your bank if you would like more advice. There might be other options that would help you, such as asking your employer to split your paycheck and put some of it into a separate low cost, low activity savings account.If there are parts of your plan you are unsure about, seek advice or double check the facts before you go ahead.Rightdid you knowIf your income allows, deliberately overestimating the money you need for bills may help you find extra spending money.Video TranscriptsRelated articles15/05/200615/05/200611111Government parenting paymentsGovernment paymentsCentrelink benefitsParenting payments000A guide to government payments available to parents. 0Green0-100-30Many kinds of financial support are offered by the Australian Government. Depending on your situation, your family may be eligible for financial assistance.Coming to grips with the different benefits and options available for families can be a little difficult. As your circumstances change, so do the benefits and taxes that apply – and every year the government passes new laws on these payments.This section offers a basic guide to what’s available. Read ‘Where to learn more’ at the bottom of this page to find out how to get detailed information for your family’s situation.Overview of paymentsPayment typeWho is it for?Income tested?Assets tested?Child Care BenefitAll parentsYesNo Family Tax Benefit (Part A)All parents YesNo Family Tax Benefit (Part B)Single parents and single income families YesYesPaid Parental Leave (Fact sheet)All parents of children born or adopted after January 1, 2011YesNoParenting PaymentLow income parents Yes Yes Baby BonusAll parentsYesNoCarer Allowance (Child)People who care for a child with a disability at homeNoNoMaternity Immunisation AllowancePeople whose child is fully immunised between 18 and 24 months (or on a catch-up schedule); also if your child has an approved exemption from being immunisedNoNoDouble Orphan PensionPeople whose child’s parents or adoptive parents have both died, or one of the child's parents is dead and the other parent is unable to parent at that time; see Centrelink website for other possible eligibilitiesNoNoAssistance for Isolated Children SchemeFamilies of students under 16 who are unable to attend an appropriate government school on a daily basis because of geographic isolation. Types of assistance are:Boarding AllowanceSecond Home AllowanceDistance Education AllowancePensioner Education SupplementNo, with the exception of the additional component of Boarding AllowanceNo, with the exception of the additional component of Boarding AllowanceIncome tested = the amount received (if any) is based on your family’s income (what you earn).Assets tested = the amount received (if any) is based on your family’s assets (what you own). The family home isn’t included, but almost everything else is.Changes in payment can happen for all the above payments and occurs when:1. your circumstances change, or2. the maximum payment rate changes (usually based on a change in the consumer price index, also known as CPI).Example of paymentsIn 2011, a single mother with:no incomeno assets anddependent childrenwas eligible forChild Care Benefit, if using approved or registered careFamily Tax Benefit (A and B)Paid Parental Leave (if the child was born in 2011) or the baby bonus (upon the birth of her children)Parenting Payment.Depending on other circumstances, she may have also been eligible for payments such as Rent Assistance.Where to learn moreFor up-to-date information about your specific situation, meet with an adviser from your local Family Assistance office, or contact Centrelink, Medicare or the Australian Taxation Office.You can also use the Centrelink Rate Estimator to estimate Centrelink, Family Assistance and Child Care Benefit payments online.To learn more about Paid Parental Leave and the Baby Bonus, and which one would be best for your family, visit the Paid Parental Leave Comparison Estimator.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/5/20063/3/201111111Child supportChild supportChild support000A guide to child support, including links to child support payment calculators.0Green0-100-30The scheme run by the Child Support Agency (CSA) makes sure that parents share the cost of supporting their children, and that the children’s needs are met. It also keeps these arrangements as simple as possible.The Child Support Scheme makes sure that when parents separate they both still put money towards raising their children, just as they would if the family hadn't separated. It means that even if don't live with your children you have to help pay for them, and it means if you have the main job of looking after your children you can get money from your former partner to help raise them.Before the Child Support Scheme was introduced, child support could only be obtained by the parents reaching an agreement, or by seeking an order from a court.What is child support for?The aim of child support is to make sure that:children of separated parents get the financial support that both their parents are responsible for providingpayments of child support are made regularly and on timeparents provide a level of financial support they can afford.In other words, child support is a system that makes sure both parents pay for a child’s upbringing. The agency can be more or less involved, depending on the parents: some parents make their own agreements and handle their own payments; others rely on the agency to do everything.How much child support?The amount of support you will either pay or receive depends on your income and on how many children you have, how old they are and who cares for them. Laws about child support payments change regularly. For details on how child support is calculated, visit the Child Support Agency. For examples of child support payments in different circumstances, visit the Child Support Agency’s example of basic formula. You can use the agency’s calculator to try and figure out your own payments.Arguments about child supportParents paying child support often complain that it is too much, while parents receiving it complain it is too little. Unfortunately, it takes more income to support two households than one, and so it's not surprising there are disagreements.RightDid you knowChild support is not about who the children live with or who gets to keep what after a separation (that’s the job of the Family Court).Video TranscriptsRelated articles15/5/200615/5/200651111Government payment links and calculatorsGovernment payment linksFinance linksMoney linksGovernment payment links000A list of links to useful information government payments for parents.0Green0-100-30Links to useful tools and information on Centrelink and Family Assistance Office payments.Centrelink paymentsPayments to help you raise childrenPayments while your child is ill, injured or has a disabilityAre you a grandparent who has the primary responsibility for raising and caring for your grandchild?Are you a grandparent (or relative) caring for children?Are you a parent or guardian?Assistance: Isolated Children SchemeChild Support SchemeDo you have any kids in your care?Financial Information Service PublicationsGuide to PaymentsBaby BonusPaid parental leave vs Baby Bonus: which is the best choice for you?Family Assistance Office paymentsAvailable paymentsChild Care BenefitWhat, Why and How of Family AssistanceGuide to Payments (PDF document, size: 108kb)How Much You Can GetEstimate your paymentThe Centrelink Rate Estimator allows you to estimate Centrelink, Family Assistance, Child Support, and Child Care Benefit payments online.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/5/200615/5/200641101Rituals: what are they?Family rituals: what are they?Rituals: what are they?RitualsFamily occasions000Rituals make family members feel good about themselves and create a sense of belonging; they help family members know what's important to the family and give everyone a sense of identity. Tips on how to create, recognise and strengthen your family's rituals00-100-30Even simple rituals like a song before bed can hold special meaning for families. Rituals make family members feel good and create a sense of belonging by letting everyone know what’s important to the family and giving everyone a sense of identity.Rituals are activities that only your family does. They help communicate 'this is who we are' and give you a sense of belonging.  Research shows that rituals can strengthen your family’s values (in the same way that traditions, family activities and gatherings do) and help pass these values on to your children. Rituals also teach children skills like how to interact with others.You may not be aware that you have rituals, but even a special song at bath time adds to your child’s sense of security and belonging. Some rituals may have been handed down from your grandparents or other relatives, like always opening Christmas crackers with the person on your left, or always having chocolate cake on Sunday night. Others you might create as a family.Your family’s rituals might include celebrating religious and cultural festivals. Another kind of ritual might be going on a special outing with just one other family member. A ritual can even be a crazy handshake, a game in the car or the way you always wink at your daughter after you drop her off at school. They all help build family ties.Rituals can help comfort children in unfamiliar circumstances. If your son loves listening to you read a bedtime story before lights go out, carrying on that tradition will help him sleep when he's in a different place.Rituals and routines add to your children’s feelings of security and predictability. Different kinds of ritualsRituals are often linked to religious festivals like Christmas, Chanukah or Ramadan. Your family may also have developed rituals for:birthdaysmealtimesbedtimesweekendscultural festivals, like Diwali, Halloween or Australia Day.Your rituals might be things that no-one but your family understands:special morning kissescode words for thingsa restaurant you always go to after the moviesunusual food combinationsyour own rules for sports.A ritual could be a common interest with someone in your family:going to football matches, studying insects, a particular TV show or a favourite board gameriding bikes on Sundaysmaking scrapbooks or arranging family photo albumsmaking all kinds of different flavoured jellies or cup cakes.Tips for fun ritualsAt least once a month, make time for an activity your children enjoy.Get your children to suggest something they’d like to know about you or your family – for example, your childhood or how you and your partner met – and make it part of a mealtime conversation.Look through old photo albums so your children can find out more about your family history.Gather suggestions for mealtime conversations, perhaps from the newspaper or the day’s events.Allow family members to take turns offering ideas for family activities each month.Take turns including friends in your family traditions.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesFiese, B.H., Tomcho, TJ., Douglas, M., Josephs, K., Poltrock, S., & Baker, T. (2002). A Review of 50 years of research on naturally occurring family routines and rituals: Cause for celebration? Journal of Family Psychology, 16(4), 381-390. Howe, G.W. (2002). Integrating routines and rituals with other family research paradigms: Comment on the special section. Journal of Family Psychology, 16(4), 437 – 440. Schuck, L. A., Bucy, J. E. (1997). Family rituals: Implications for early intervention. Topics in Early Childhood Special Education, 17(4), 477-494.15/05/200681101Adapting family ritualsAdapting ritualsFamily rituals - changing them000When family circumstances change, some rituals and routines might need to change too. A guide to letting go of some of the rituals you're attached to 0Green0-100-30Sometimes rituals or routines need to change to accommodate young children as they grow up.If something isn’t working any more, why not let your child suggest an alternative?Family meetings or chats can be a good time to discuss changes that involve the whole family.When things change a lot, some rituals and routines might need to change too. Maybe your son no longer wants to be kissed goodbye in the schoolyard or your daughter wants to read her own bedtime stories. Bedtime could be getting later and later as your child gets older, or you might be about to have another baby. You and your partner might separate, or you might meet a new partner who becomes part of your life. Being open to changing your family’s existing rituals and routines or suggesting new ones is a good idea as family needs change over time.Although you may love baking cakes with your son on Saturday afternoons, he may want to hang out with his friends. Talk with him about what he’d enjoy doing with you instead. Be ready to try new ways of spending time together.Letting go when things don't work anymore will keep you and your family closer than if you force a family tradition because you really love it. It might be as simple as agreeing to change pizza night to Sunday instead of Saturday because your children want to go to friends’ houses for sleepovers. Sometimes it might involve a complete rethink. Maybe your children want to have their birthday party with friends instead of family. Finding a compromise that works for you and your children, like agreeing to parties for friends every second year, might suit you better.If a tradition the whole family used to enjoy isn’t working, you can ask your children to come up with other ideas, and put forward a few suggestions of your own. You can also set some parameters if you want, like:the maximum the activity can cost how often the activity occurswhich night or day is best for you all.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/5/200691101Pocket moneyPocket money: when & how much?Pocket moneyPocket moneyAllowance000Children start learning about money management from as young as four or five. Pocket money is one way that you can help them understand money basics like saving and spending.00-100-30Pocket money is one of the first ways for children to learn the basics of managing money – a skill they'll definitely need for life – and it makes children feel independent. Equally, if your family finances or values mean you’d rather not give pocket money that is also an important lesson for your children.These points might help if you are thinking about giving your children pocket money.Generally, children learn their attitudes towards money from home. Giving pocket money creates the opportunity to teach children about spending thoughtfully and saving (and even the consequences of misplacing it, losing it, betting or giving money away).Regardless of the amount of money, giving pocket money to children as young as four or five helps them to begin learning about money management.Pocket money helps teach children about having to make choices, saving up and waiting for things they want.Letting your children make a few mistakes (like spending all their hard-earned savings, originally earmarked for a hot-wheels car, on fake tattoos instead) is part of the learning process. You can put limits on what they spend their money on, for example, you may discourage them from buying bubblegum or lollies if that interferes with their appetite for nutritious food or you want to protect their teeth from decay.Learning about moneyYour child learns a lot by watching you and how you deal with money. Spending, saving, withdrawing or donating money: they're all chances to teach your child more of the basics around money.Advertising has a strong influence on children. Your child might get the hang of managing money earlier if you explain how advertising can make you want things you don’t really need or can’t really afford.As children get older, you can teach them about: the value of money: the relative price of thingsspending: accepting that money is gone once it’s spentearning: understanding that earning money can be hard work, but usually that's the only way to get itsaving: using short-term and long-term goalsborrowing: understanding the importance of repaying borrowed money.When to introduce pocket moneyAlthough research has shown that many parents introduce pocket money when their child is six or seven years old, there are no hard and fast rules.Your child might be ready to try managing some pocket money if she:understands that you need money to get things from shopsunderstands that spending all her money today means there is no more until the next paymentneeds money to buy school lunches or catch the school bus. In this case, pocket money can help your child to plan daily spending so that money lasts for the whole week.How much pocket money?This depends on your circumstances and what you think is a reasonable amount. As long as your child understands how much she will get (and how often), she can start learning how to use the money well.Base your decision on:what your family budget will allowwhat you expect pocket money to pay for – if you expect it to cover things like transport, lunches and savings, then you might need to give a little morehow much pocket money your child’s friends receive.What should pocket money cover?Pocket money could cover any of the following things:the bus fare to schoollunch on Fridaysa certain amount as savingsspending as your child pleasesdonations to charity.If you find that your eight-year-old wants to save for something special and has been saving responsibly, you may decide to add something extra.Letting your child spend as she pleases is an important way for her to understand the concepts behind money, and to develop a sense of responsibility and independence.Tips on giving pocket moneyExplain to your child what pocket money is for and what it’s not for.Pay what you can afford, regardless of what other parents (or your child!) might advise.Pay it on a set day.Set up a number of jars to help your child divide her money. For example, one jar for small things she wants now and one for saving towards bigger things.Put saved money in a dedicated container (such as a glass jar or a money box). Seeing the level grow helps highlight the achievement of being a good saver.Try not to give payment in advance.If pocket money is to cover entertainment, talk about what kinds of entertainment.Try not to supplement pocket money – it’s all about teaching your child to live within her means.Pocket money and choresPaying your children to help around the house is a complex issue. Linking their family contribution to pocket money may lead to unnecessary bargaining and interfere with the idea of contributing just because they are family members.However, no single rule is right for every family. If your children work well under these circumstances, go with it. You might even consider giving bonuses for extra chores if your child is saving for something special. If you do decide to pay pocket money for chores, explain tasks clearly so there is no confusion about what needs to be done and when.Righthow muchTalking with other parents about what they give their kids might help you find a benchmark.It might also help avoid squabbles between kids about how much pocket money they get.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesColman, A. (1996). Pocket money: $369M. Youth Studies Australia, 15(1), 10 -15. Deci, E.L., Koestner, R., & Ryan, R.M. (1999). A Meta-analytic review of experiments examining the effects of extrinsic rewards on intrinsic motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 125(6), 627-668. Furnham, A. (1999). Economic socialisation: A study of adults’ perceptions of uses of allowances (pocket money) to educate children. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 17(4), 585-604.08/05/200608/05/200631111About family managementFamily management100The way you work as a family and do the things you do to keep your house going is called family management. These tips for family management will help everything run more smoothly.0Green0-100-30Shopping, cooking, paying bills, keeping track of where everybody is and where they need to be. Ferrying children to, from and between home, school and friends. It's all part of the hectic behind-the-scenes activity that keeps a family and a home going.The way you work as a family and keep things going at home is called family management. With a few basics in place, family management can create more time for you as a family.Family management can:bring family members closer togethermake it easier for adults and children to talkmake everyone more organised and less stressedmake the most of precious time and financeshelp adults deal with the way children behaveprovide a way of passing on your family valueshelp children develop important social skills for lifehelp your family find more time to have fun together.Family management is about routines, rituals, and budget and money management.RoutinesRoutines include things that need to be done at certain times (such as mealtimes and bedtimes). They provide security and stability for both adults and children, and can help your family organise things in a way that means you can all spend more time together and more time doing the things that are important to you.RitualsRituals help your family know what’s special about your family. They can be simple things, like reading a bedtime story, or having chocolate cake on Sunday night. Rituals make family members feel important, and give everyone a sense of history and of belonging.Budgeting and managing your moneyTaking control of your family's finances contributes to a smooth-running, happy environment at home. It also teaches children skills for when they are adults. Read our tips on managing your money and on finances and debt.Rightdid you knowIf you are going through separation or divorce, your children will adapt more easily if you and your ex can keep the same routines in your separate homes.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesFiese, B.H., Tomcho, T.J., Douglas, M., Josephs, K., Poltrock, S., & Baker, T. (2002). A review of 50 years of research on naturally occurring family routines and rituals: Cause for celebration? Journal of Family Psychology, 16(4), 381-390.Howe, G.W. (2002). Integrating routines and rituals with other family research paradigms: Comment on the special section. Journal of Family Psychology, 16(4), 437 – 440.Schuck, L. A., Bucy, J. E. (1997). Family rituals: Implications for early intervention. Topics in Early Childhood Special Education, 17(4), 477-494.16/5/2006021101/articles/grownups_family_management_nutshell.html/context/310Family routinesFamily routinesHouseworkManaging the homeRoutines for the familyRoutines – importance ofFamily routines000A guide to why routines are important for young children, adolescent children, teenagers and parents. Also includes information on how families can develop their own routines to suit the needs of each family member.0Green0-100-30Some routine is helpful for all families. It helps you get through the things that need to be done each day, and can also build your family bonds. A good routine caters for the needs of all family members.The basicsWhy routines are good for childrenWhy routines are good for parentsKinds of routinesUsing routines to solve family problemsThe basicsRoutines are how families organise themselves to get things done, spend time together and have fun. Every family has its own unique routines. Routines help family members know who should do what, when, in what order and how often.For example, your family might have:daily routines for getting everyone ready in the morning, bath time, bedtime and mealtimes, greetings and goodbyesweekly routines for housework, like washing and cleaningother routines involving holidays and extended family get-togethers.Family life might be more chaotic without some routine, but there’s more to it than that. Routines also let your children know what’s important to your family. Highly meaningful routines are sometimes called rituals. These can help strengthen your shared beliefs and values, and build a sense of belonging and cohesion in families. Maintaining normal daily routines as much as possible can make it easier for children to deal with stressful events, such as the birth of a new child, a divorce, the illness or death of a family member, or a move to a new city or country.Why routines are good for childrenSome children like and need routine more than others. In general, though, routine has the following benefits for children:They can be a way of teaching younger children healthy habits, like brushing their teeth, getting some exercise, or washing their hands after using the toilet.An organised and predictable home environment helps children and young people feel safe and secure.Routines built around fun or spending time together strengthen relationships between parents and children. Reading a story together before bed or going for a special snack after soccer practice can become a special time for you and your children to share.Daily routines help set our body clocks. For example, bedtime routines help children’s bodies ‘know’ when it’s time to sleep. This can be particularly helpful when children reach adolescence and their body clocks start to change. You can read more about sleep in adolescence.If your child needs to take medicine regularly, a routine for this will help make both of you less likely to forget.Having an important job to do in the family routine helps older children and teenagers develop a sense of responsibility.Routines help develop basic work skills and time management.Routines can help promote a feeling of safety in stressful situations or during difficult stages of development, such as puberty.When children reach adolescence, the familiarity of regular home routines can help them feel looked after. Predictable family routines can be a welcome relief from the changes they’re experiencing.Routines for children with disabilities can be a big help. They can be even more important for children who find it hard to understand or cope with change.Routines have health benefits, too; children in families with regular routines have fewer respiratory infections than those in routine-free homes. This might be because routines contribute to healthy habits like washing hands. Routines might also help reduce stress, which can suppress the immune system.Why routines are good for parentsRoutines take some effort to create. But once established, they have lots of benefits:They free up time for you to think about other things while you work.Regular and consistent routines can help you feel like you’re doing a good job as a parent.When things are hectic, routines can help you feel more organised, which lowers stress.A routine will help you complete your daily tasks efficiently.As children get better at following a routine by themselves, you can give fewer instructions and nag less.Routines free you from having to constantly resolve disputes and make decisions. If Sunday night is pizza night, no-one needs to argue about what’s for dinner.Older children and teenagers might grow out of, or challenge, some routines. Being flexible and adapting routines as your children get older can help with this issue. For example, changing routines for teenagers could be linked to milestones, such as them getting their first part-time job.Kinds of routinesThe routines adopted by families are as diverse as families themselves. Here are some routines you might want to consider for your family.Age groupYou could have a routine for:Toddlers and preschoolersGetting ready in the morningGoing to bed at nightRegular ‘playdates’Eating mealsRegular play and talk times with a parent each dayStory time (book reading)Quiet time each eveningSchool-age childrenHygiene and health – for example, brushing teeth and washing handsTidying up, looking after toysCaring for petsRegular ‘playdates’Pocket money, given at a regular time and dayHelping with the laundryAfter-school activitiesChores – for example, setting the dinner table, packing away, unpacking the dishwasherHobbies or sportTeenagersUsing family resources like the computer and telephoneDoing laundry or other choresHomeworkHobbies or sportAfter-school activitiesMaking beds and cleaning roomsAll agesPreparing and eating meals togetherFamily days (family activities)Family DVD nightsFamily meetingsTaking turns talking about the daySpecial one-to-one time with a parentRegular contact with extended family and friendsNational/state/local celebration days, annual fetes or outingsSaying prayers or observing religious eventsUsing routines to solve family problemsThere’s no rule about how many or what kind of routines you should have. What works well for one family might be too restrictive for another. It can also be easy to over-timetable life.Fourteen-year-old Stephen and his younger brother Aaron started nagging their mum Leanne about using the computer as soon as they got home from school every day. They then spent most of their afternoons fighting over it. Leanne came up with a new routine to solve the problem. The computer would be turned on at 5 pm; Stephen would go first, then help Aaron with his turn. The boys used a timer set to 30 minutes to time their turns. The result: the boys took on more responsibility, and there was a lot less tension at home.If you’re feeling you can’t find the time to do the things you want with your children, some new routines might help. Try thinking about the following questions:What do you do regularly with your family? Would life be easier and more enjoyable if these things ran more smoothly?Could children and other family members be involved more? How could you set up routines to include them?Are there activities you would like to do but aren’t doing? Can you include some of them in the family’s regular routine?Rightdid you knowConsistent routines help young children develop healthy habits. They can make boring tasks like brushing teeth automatic.getting everyone involved in changes to routineThis short video demonstration shows how families can work together to handle upcoming events and changes to family life. You can use regular family meetings to give everyone a say in the routines of your family life.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesBoyce W.T., Jensen, E.W., Cassel, J.C., Collier, A.M., Smith, A.H., & Ramey, C.T. (1977). Influence of life events and family routines on childhood respiratory tract illness. Pediatrics, 60, 609-15.Brody, G.H., & Flor, D.L. (1997). Maternal psychological functioning, family processes, and child adjustment in rural, single-parent, African American families. Developmental Psychology, 33, 1000-1011.Churchill, S.L. & Stoneman, Z. (2004). Correlates of family routines in Head Start families. Early Childhood Practice & Research, 6(1). Available at http://ecrp.uiuc.edu/v6n1. Accessed 24 September 2007.Denham, S.A. (2003) Relationships between family rituals, family routines, and health. Journal of Family Nursing, 9(3), 305-330.Fiese, B.H., Tomcho, T.J., Douglas, M., Josephs, K. Poltrock S., & Baker, T. (2002). A review of 50 years of research on naturally occurring family routines and rituals: Cause for celebration? Journal of Family Psychology, 16(4), 381–390.Fiese, B. H., Wamboldt, F.S., & Anbar, R.D. (2005) Family asthma management routines: Connections to medical adherence and quality of life. Journal of Pediatrics, 146, 171-176.Howe, G.W. (2002). Integrating family routines and rituals with other family research paradigms: comment on the special section. Journal of Family Psychology, 16(4), 437–440.Jensen, E.W., James, S.A., Boyce, W.T. & Hartnett, S.A. (1983). The family routines inventory: Development and validation. Social Sciences Medicine, 17(4), 201-211.Kliewer, W., & Kung, E. (1998). Family moderators of the relation between hassles and behaviour problems in inner-city youth. Journal of Clinical Child Psychology, 27, 278-292.Markson S., & Fiese B.H. (2000). Family rituals as a protective factor against anxiety for children with asthma. Journal Pediatric Psychology, 25, 471-479.Sprunger, L.W., Boyce, W.T., & Gaines, J.A. (1985). Family-infant congruence: Routines and rhythmicity in family adaptations to a young infant. Child Development, 56(3), 564-572.Sytsma, S.E., Kelley, M.L., & Wymer, J.H. (2001). Development and initial validation of the Child Routines Inventory. Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment, 23(4), 241-251.Weisner, T., Matheson, C.l., Coots, J., & Bernheimer, L. (2005). Sustainability of daily routines as a family outcome. In A. Maynard & M. Martini (Eds), Learning in cultural context: Family, peers and school. Springer: Location.Content funded by NSW Department of Ageing, Disability and Home Care8/11/20108/5/201217/9/20101001111Involving kids in tasks and choresKids and choresTasks - involving kidsChores and jobs - involving kidsChores - for children of different ages000Information on why it's important to involve children in tasks and chores around the house, including tips on getting children involved in household tasks and chores, as well as suggestions of household tasks and chores suitable for children of different ages.0Green0-100-30Just about all families expect children to contribute in some way to family life. Some children have household jobs they’re responsible for every day or week. Other children help out when their parents ask them to. Either way, getting children involved benefits everyone.Benefits of getting children involved in household jobsResearch shows that children learn in many ways about family relationships and how their family functions. Being involved in household jobs is one way they can learn.When children contribute to family life, it also helps them feel competent and responsible. Sharing housework can minimise stress in a family. Getting kids involved in chores helps the family work better.When we think ‘jobs’, we might also think long commutes, cranky managers, ticking deadlines and constant pressure. But for children, a ‘job’ can be a ticket to a grown-up world where they can take on grown-up responsibilities and learn grown-up skills.How to get children involved – and motivated!The secret is in asking for contributions that you value and that suit your children’s age and ability. A job that’s too hard for a child can be frustrating – or even dangerous – and one that’s too easy might be boring.Even young children can start to help out if you choose activities that are right for their age. You can start with simple jobs like looking after their own toys or rooms. These send the message to children that their contribution is important.  It’s also important to think about tasks that get children involved in caring for the family as a whole. For example, get them to help with setting or clearing the table. Jobs like these are more likely to promote a sense of responsibility and participation.If your children are old enough, you can have a family discussion. This can reinforce that the whole family contributes to how the household runs. Children over six years old can help decide which tasks they’d prefer.What about pocket money? Researchers also think it’s better not to give incentives such as pocket money for doing jobs that contribute to the household. Try instead to give children the idea that helping out makes you happy and makes them an important part of the family.Lots of encouragement keeps children interested in helping. If their first efforts aren’t that great, you can also boost their chances of success by explaining the job again. Keep telling them they’re doing well and helping mummy or daddy. This way, they’ll feel rewarded.Suggested tasks for different agesChildren can help out around the house in many different ways. For example, they can simply go outside to play when the grown-ups need to do big jobs in the house. Some families expect older children to help with younger children – amusing them, distracting them, protecting them.Here are some ideas for children of different ages.2-3 year-olds Pick up toys and books.Put clothes on clothes hooks.Set placemats on the dinner table.4-5 year-oldsSet the table for meals.Help with preparing meals, under supervision.Help put clean clothes into piles for each family member, ready to fold.Help with grocery shopping and putting away groceries.Hand you wet clothes to be hung out to dry.6-8 year-oldsWater the garden and indoor plants.Take care of food and clean water for pets.Help carry garden refuse, under supervision.Clean bathroom sink.Wipe down kitchen benches.Help wash and hang out clothes.Help fold dry washing.Mop floors.Put away crockery and cutlery.Dusting.Take out rubbish.Help with meal preparation and serving, under supervision.You can help keep kids motivated by letting them change jobs from time to time, to keep pace with their changing interests. This is also a way of rotating chores fairly among family members.Rightdid you knowChildren watch what others do. They are more likely to get interested if they see their parents or siblings contributing in various ways.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesGruse, J.E., Goodnow, J.J., & Cohen, L. (1996). Household chores and the development of concern for others. Developmental Psychology, 32(6), 999-1007.8/5/200619/1/201031111School morningsSchool morning routines: get ready on timeSchool morningsSchool morningsMorning routines - getting ready for school000How to get kids ready for school without a fightA guide to getting school-age children ready for school in the mornings, with ideas, games and routines to take some of the pressure out of school mornings. Includes suggestions for school morning routines.00-100-30How things go at home in the morning can set the tone for the day ahead. Children who arrive at school feeling calm, relaxed, fed and ready can make the most of the first few hours of the day.Children don’t understand time in the same way as grown-ups. This can make school mornings a stressful time of day for families. Time pressures and competing demands can turn mornings into a combat zone.Getting along in the morning at home will also help you. Research shows that fighting with children in the morning makes it harder for you to work well. It even increases the risk of you having an accident at work.Here are some ideas to take some of the pressure out of school mornings – even if things don’t always go smoothly!The night beforeTry to find out the night before (or even earlier) if there is something special going on at school.Prepare lunches and set the breakfast table ready for the morning rush.Get your child to have a bath the night before. This means you won’t have to worry about this in the morning.You might know something is going to come up that could cause conflict (such as buying lunch or choosing which clothes to wear). Talk about it the night before when everybody has time and is less likely to be stressed.Try to read school newsletters and check bags for notes the night before. You could also try to prepare clothes, sign school notes, and get schoolbags ready the night before.In the morningGetting up an extra 15-30 minutes earlier might help things run more smoothly. Also try to allow plenty of time to get from home to school. Rushing can really increase stress levels.Good moods can be infectious. Tackle the morning as positively and as optimistically as you can.Mornings are easier if your children can do things for themselves. Once your children are old enough, getting dressed on their own, making their own breakfast, and tidying up after themselves can all make things easier. If your children are young, remind them what they are meant to be doing and when. Simple ‘to do’ checklists, even with pictures, can help as a reminder.Some children get up more easily if they have an alarm clock.Try to cut down on distractions. Television is one of the culprits that can distract children from getting ready. Consider leaving it off, unless it’s a special treat for being ready on time.Focus on the positives. A rule of thumb here is six positives for every negative. Look for good behaviour and try to ensure that positive comments – praise and encouragement – outweigh instructions and reprimands.Use surprises to celebrate cooperation and being ready on time. A treat in the lunch box, or an extra story at bedtime might be all it takes.Try not to give your children extra attention for arguing, whining or stalling. Even negative attention is an incentive for them to keep arguing, whining and stalling.Rightdid you knowThe first few hours of the day are the best learning time for children.Mornings are easier when children go to bed at 7.30-8 pm (the same time every night).Video TranscriptsRelated articles01/08/201101/08/201402/10/2009460961111Coping during sickness or after a deathFamily routines in time of sickness or deathSickness or deathRoutines during sickness000Keeping regular routines during stressful times such as sickness and death helps children feel secure. Tips on sticking to a routine00-100-30Keeping regular routines during stressful times is one way of helping children feel more secure and in control. This is the case whatever age children are.During these periods, parents often relax discipline and the usual house rules. But trying to maintain the usual rules and limits can actually help minimise behavioural problems.If possible, also arrange for your children to spend time with familiar people. This will help them cope with altered circumstances.If your child is ill:Usual sleep patterns and mealtimes will often fall away while your child is recuperating. As your child returns to health, return to the regular sleeping and eating patterns.If you have a child in hospital:Brothers and sisters will need to continue with their lives – when possible, it is best if they can keep up their usual activities. Continued routines will help siblings cope with the disruption in their lives.Following a death:Children can feel loss and grief from a very young age. It is important to clearly explain the death to your child in a way she will understand and to be open with your own feelings.Try to maintain your child’s regular schedule to minimise emotional upheaval.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles08/05/200671101Budget planners and money guidesFamily budget planners and money guidesBudget plannersBudget plannersSavings calculators000Useful budget planners and calculators and guides to savings and managing money.00-100-30Links to useful budgeting and savings tools and guides that can help you manage your finances.Budget and savings plannersThe Australian Securities and Investments Commission downloadable budget plannerCHOICE online budget plannerChild Support Agency's budgeting toolChild Support Agency’s child support payments calculatorCentrelink fortnightly savings planner Guides to help manage your moneyPrintable guide to managing your money, from the Australian Securities and Investments CommissionGrandparents: know your entitlements Financial counsellors and helpGovernment advice on finding a financial counsellorThe South Australian Government guide to dealing with money troublesRightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/05/200620/10/200821111'Beat the buzzer' gameRewarding your child for being on time'Beat the buzzer''Beat the buzzer' gameMorning routines - 'beat the buzzer' game000A playful way to get kids ready on time in the morningA guide to playing 'Beat the buzzer', a morning routine game to get children ready on time for school or child care.00-100-30Getting your children ready for school or to leave the house can be a challenge. Here’s a fun way to encourage them to cooperate.Do you find yourself nagging and shouting a lot in the mornings? Try ‘Beat the buzzer’, a game developed by researchers from RMIT University, Victoria.The key to this game is rewarding your child for being on time and ready. Praising your child will make an enormous difference.Parents often don’t feel like praising their child for being ready on time because it’s behaviour that is expected. But if you don’t praise it, don’t expect it!How to play 'Beat the buzzer'Explain that you want to introduce a game called ‘Beat the buzzer’ to help with getting ready in the mornings.Establish a ‘ready time’ – your child must be ready for school at this time.Together, write a list of what your child needs to do in the morning. With younger children, you do the writing, but ask them to help you draw a picture for each step. Explain exactly what you expect children to do on their own and what you will help with. The list might look something like this:Eat breakfast.Get dressed.Brush teeth/wash face/brush hair.Pack bag.Put on jacket/hat/shoes.When you have a list that you’re both happy with, put it up where your child can check it throughout the morning.Explain to your child what will happen if he is ready on time, and what will happen if he isn’t.Choose some special rewards for beating the buzzer. Make up a simple chart to keep track of success with ticks or stickers. Activities with mum or dad are often the most effective rewards.Choose some appropriate consequences for not being ready. These could include not being allowed to watch TV, or going to bed 10-15 minutes earlier.Set the timer and leave your child to it. Let her know that you have set the kitchen timer for the required amount of time. Now it’s up to her.Watch for your child being independent and responsible. Praise and encourage him. But avoid giving reminders and instructions – this will just lead you back to nagging and fighting.If your child gets all the tasks done by the time the buzzer sounds, she wins.Encourage your child to check the list rather than telling him what to do next. This will help him become more independent. It also reduces nagging from you.After a week or two of success, begin to phase out the rewards over another 3-4 weeks. Your child might need to be on time two, three, four, then five days in a row to earn the reward (make the reward a little bigger each time). Then make rewards a surprise. Your child won’t know when a reward is on offer – it just happens every now and then.Even when your child is regularly ready on time, praise her occasionally.When your child is not readyIf at the end of the time your child isn’t ready:Calmly let him know that the buzzer has sounded, and get him ready.Remind her that she can try again the following morning.Follow through with the consequence you decided on.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articles06/08/200901/08/201129/06/20102436961111Chores and jobs: the road to responsibilityChores & jobs100Many young children enjoy the idea of doing work to help their family members - it's good for their self esteem. A guide to how to choose jobs for your children that will help maintain their enthusiasm.0Green0-100-30For adults, the word ‘job’ can have a bad connotation – we may think of cranky bosses and relentless time clocks, deadlines and constant stresses. But for children, a job can be one of the prime keys to the magical world of adults, one that lets them take on grown-up tasks and responsibilities while learning grown-up skills.For very young children, those tasks and responsibilities – usually chores within their own household – can make them feel like they're competent, contributing members of the family, which in turn is a vital source of self-esteem. For older children, jobs also can be a source of significant income, and can introduce them to the values of the working world, including punctuality, reliability and courtesy.Which job for which child?From toddlerhood on up through adolescence, jobs are only positive experiences when they are age appropriate. A job that is too hard for a child is frustrating at best and dangerous at worst (you would not, for instance, want a three-year-old to paint a room or a six-year-old to mow the lawn). It's also wise to consider your child's abilities and interests, as a job is much more fun and fulfilling when it involves an activity she actually enjoys. That also may mean letting a child change jobs from time to time, both as her interests evolve and as a way of rotating chores fairly among family members – variety, after all, is the spice of life, even when it applies to dusting, pulling weeds, walking the dog, etc.Preparing your child for the work world also is key. Whether you're making a chart for household chores, explaining just how much water each plant on the verandah requires, or helping a teen craft a resumé, you boost her chances of success by teaching her just what a job entails and how it is done correctly.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articleshttp://www.drspock.com/article/0,1510,5980,00.html5/5/200631101/articles/tasks_and_chores_involving_kids.htmlDealing with tragedy and traumaTragedy, trauma and your childTragedy & trauma000Ways to help your child deal with a tragedy, trauma or traumatic event, including information about talking to children about crises.00-100-30Sometimes a local or international tragedy happens that touches all members of the community. Parents will experience a range of emotions from shock to fear and anxiety. Children can be affected by their parents’ response to something like this, as well as by what they see and hear directly. The following information is to help parents to support their children through a tragedy.What to sayPreschoolersSchool-age childrenYoung peopleParentsDoing something to helpRemindersWhat to sayHow much you talk with children about a traumatic event will depend on the age of the children and how closely it touches their lives. As far as possible, it is usually advisable to protect very young children from things that they cannot understand and that might make them fearful. But children can make up worse things if they know something is wrong but don’t know what it is. So simple explanations that reassure them that they are safe and you are there caring for them will help if they are aware of the problem. As children get older, they need more explanations and time to talk.PreschoolersYoung children are worried by different things from adults. They might not even seem to notice major traumas. But they are very affected by parents’ responses and feelings.Try not to show your own anxiety because children will quickly pick up your feelings and know there is something wrong. If it is close to home and children know you are upset, reassure them that it is not to do with them and that you are caring for them.Turn off the TV. It is very hard for young children to make sense out of what they see and hear and it can be very frightening. As children get older and into adolescence you will want to share your feelings and talk about the issues to develop their understanding.Try not to discuss what has happened in front of the children.Keep to normal routines, which give young children a sense of safety and security.If your children have already heard or seen something about the tragedy:listen to their feelings calmly, and give them time to talk without pressureexplain that what has happened is in another country and a long way away (if this is true) and reassure them that they are still safegive lots of physical reassurancegive lots of opportunities to play, draw and paint (without guiding them). This helps children to deal with feelings and get a sense of control.Signs of stress Young children show worries by sleep problems and going backwards in their development – for example, wetting the bed again, clinging and behaviour problems. If these things happen, your child will need extra reassurance and support. Give children more support as they need it – for example, allow them to sleep near you for a time.At all ages, it is most important to listen responsively and respectfully.School-age childrenMost children of this age will have heard what has happened and will have some reactions. They understand the reality of what has happened and might worry that it could happen to them.It is still a good idea to protect school-age children from the TV. Visual images can have a powerful impact. If children ask questions, give them information without unnecessary detail. You might have to answer the same questions over and over as children try to make sense of what has happened.  Give as much information as they want, but avoid unnecessary or frightening detail.Give children opportunities to talk about their feelings and their fears. Validate their feelings as real. Let your children know they can talk to you any time they are afraid.Keep to routines that provide a sense of safety. Some things you can do in the time when you usually watch TV might be playing games, walking the dog, shopping, gardening, a bike ride – things that give your family a sense of togetherness.Try to help them with their fears by talking through the issues according to their age and understanding. For example, you could say, ‘Sad and scary things do happen in the world. But they are rare and there are lots of sensible people who are working to stop things like this happening’. Talk about the people who are helping.You might need to show that your children are safe in whatever ways are true – for example, that such events are rare, that where you live is different, that your home is safe and so on.Signs of stress School-age children might still show worries through behaviour as well as, or instead of, talking about them. They might show them by not wanting to go to school, by nightmares or behaviour problems, or by physical symptoms such as headaches or tummy aches. If your children are showing worries in this way, it is important to help them to talk about their fears. Bedtime is often a good listening time.Most of all think about your own response. When things like this happen it touches our own sense of insecurity. It is really important to hold on to the sane and normal aspects of our daily lives. This is what will make the world feel safe for your children.Young peopleYoung people are very aware of what is happening in the world and often very vulnerable. They still look to parents for a sense of safety and security.With young people, you can listen to their feelings and share yours. But remember they are looking to you and your response for their own sense of safety.Young people’s reactions might include:shock and disbelief that the event has actually occurredconfusion and questioning – ‘How can this have happened?’, ‘Why did my friend get killed/injured and others didn’t?’ and so onanxiety especially with regard to the future (very common in young people)anger and sometimes denial, possibly expressed as bravadoillness – sometimes, symptoms of grief manifest themselves physically as headaches, stomach aches, insomnia, nausea and so ondepression and sadnesssocial withdrawal.If the event is close to home, young people might feel guilty in some way and need reassurance that it is not their fault.Young people can also think with you about how the event is reported and be helped to understand bias or inaccurate reporting. Watch the news with your child and be open to discussion. Remember that reactions to a crisis such as this might continue or come back after the media response has died down.Suggestions for talking with young people about a critical incident Give young people opportunities to talk about their feelings and what the event/incident means to them.Acknowledge their feelings and assure them that whatever they are experiencing is normal, including physical symptoms.Be aware that the questions that arise from the shock do not always need answers. Just listening to the young person is often the best course of action.Sometimes some young people, perhaps young men, might have difficulty expressing their feelings. They might need support to find ways of sharing their concerns. Strategies for expressing feelings include: painting a picture of their angerwriting down their thoughts about the eventif suffering nightmares, starting a dream diary to record dreams and then talking to someone about themfocusing on the immediate future and taking one day at a time. Sometimes looking too far out into the future can be overwhelming, particularly considering a future without a particular person or (more globally) a future that is no longer secure.Remind young people that there are some things that they just cannot control (other people’s words or actions) but they can control their reactions to these things. This helps to achieve a measure of control over their own lives at a time when they might feel out of control.Maintain a sense of normality by doing the things that they would normally do and that gives a sense of life going on.Signs of stress Even young people can show their feelings by their behaviour. They might withdraw, or become depressed or aggressive under stress. It is important to react to the feelings behind the behaviour rather than the behaviour itself.Getting help Sometimes young people need to talk to supportive and trusted adults such as family members, friends, teachers or neighbours, or seek the support of a health professional. They might need to do this if feelings of powerlessness and depression persist, there is an ongoing change in behaviour – for example, eating patterns, withdrawal from friends and/or family, unusual aggressive behaviour – or they feel like harming themselves.ParentsAdults also need support from each other. Talk about your feelings with friends. Remember that there are many, many people working together to make the world a better place, and there will be many heroic deeds happening during the crisis. These might not be seen on TV but attest to the sane and good forces in the world. Keep up your usual routines and things you enjoy and try not to watch too much TV!If necessary, seek help. If you’re worried about your own or a child’s immediate or ongoing reactions, ask for help. You could call a parenting hotline or your local health professional.For all children and young people, remember that you are the rock for your children. If you keep calm and caring, they will usually be OK.Doing something to helpChildren and young people can be helped by feeling there is something they can do to help. This helps to give a sense of control when things are overwhelming.This could be, for example:giving blood (if over the age of 16)attending a church service or other spiritual ceremony for the victims   writing a letter of sympathy and supportgiving toys, food or clothingraising money for the victims or for organisations that support peacevolunteering their time in whatever way will be helpfullet them see you helping as well.Note: When something very serious goes wrong, it can cause a lot of anger. This is a time to remind children and young people that violence does not solve problems. You can talk about the positive things that can be done. RemindersLet children know that it is normal to have reactions to a traumatic event.  Allow them to express their feelings of sadness or fears.If the traumatic event is close to home, find ways to protect our children from further harm.Protect young children from exposure to violence through the media.For older children, make opportunities to listen respectfully to their fears.Reassure children that you will keep them safe.Family togetherness is very important in a crisis.Keep familiar routines as far as possible.Parents’ responses are most important.  Children look to parents for psychological and physical safety.Rightdid you knowThe closer children and young people are to a tragedy, the greater the impact is likely to be. But even distant exposure to trauma can have an impact on their emotional well-being.The impact can be immediate or can come some time after the event.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesDorn, L (1983). Peace in the family. A workbook of ideas and actions. New York:Pantheon.National Institutes on Mental Health (NIMH) (2001). Helping children and adolescents cope with violence and disasters. Retrieved January, 2005, from  http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/violence.cfmJordan, K. (2001). Working with trauma survivors with PTST: an overview of assessment, diagnosis, and treatment. Counselling and Human Development, 34(1)Young Media Australia (2002). Effects of violence in the media. Retrieved January, 2005, from http://www.youngmedia.org.au/mediachildren/02_violence.htm01/03/201004/03/201326/05/2010636961111Families that work wellFamilies that work well: tips and hintsFamilies that work wellFamily relationshipsRelationships - family000Discusses some of the positive values that a well-functioning family can help instill in children and develop their self-esteem.00-100-30Make time for talking and listeningShow affection, encouragement and appreciation Accept the differences in each person Share the chores and the power Keep in touch with friends and relatives Make family time Commitment Family rituals and traditions Spiritual values and beliefs Resilience RemindersFamilies have changed a great deal in recent years and there are now many different forms of family, as well as different styles of parenting. One thing is certain - whatever ‘family’ means to you it is the most important part of children’s lives. The family in which your child grows up will have a big influence on how well your child will cope with situations, relationships and living.Just as a loving, caring family can help a child develop good self-esteem, so an unhappy, fearful family can lead to low self-esteem and a range of problems for a child. Sometimes unhelpful ways of doing things, habits and patterns form in our families without us realising that this has happened. We often just know that life seems harder and not enjoyable anymore as a parent. You may find it useful to think about how your family works.Studies show that healthy families make time for talking and listening, show affection and encouragement, accept differences, share chores and decisions, keep in touch and make family time.Make time for talking and listeningOften parents forget that talking with children can be difficult and that they think in different ways from grown-ups. Try to remember how it was for you. The people you liked were probably those who listened to what you had to say.Listening means not only hearing the words but working out what your child is feeling behind the words. Listen without jumping in with answers or lecturing or criticising. Remember what it feels like when you want to talk and have someone just listen.Check that you’re hearing your child correctly by repeating what you have heard but in different words. Show you are interested with brief fill-ins like "Mmm, go on" or "Really!"'Put down' messages, threatening and blaming are likely to make your child feel bad or hopeless.Show affection, encouragement and appreciationShow affection, give hugs, be thoughtful and kind. Teenagers who remember being praised, kissed or hugged during the previous week are likely to do better at school than those who don’t have this experience.Take time to ask what each family member has done each day and show interest in each other’s lives.Most people find it easier to criticise than praise, so make an effort to think about the positives and tell your child what you have noticed.Accept the differences in each personAppreciate, encourage and value the differences in each family member, knowing that everyone is special in her own way. Allow each person to be excited about her personal interests, and show respect and tolerance. Don’t put pressure on members to be the same or to hide their differences. Let them feel proud to be themselves.Share the chores and the powerThe younger the child the more you should be in control, but begin early, giving them chances to do things for themselves with careful watching.Use adult power wisely. Keep control through humour and encouragement, not with punishment or threats. In less healthy families there is a never-ending fight for control which is unhelpful to children.When children have a real say in what happens and where everyone feels their views are listened to, a very special relationship with trust and intimacy helps build a healthy family.Keep in touch with friends and relativesKnowing that there are people outside to turn to when things get tough or in a crisis will make a difference to your child’s happiness and chances of having friends.Apart from family and neighbours, share day to day problems with the parents of your child’s friends, (but don’t do it in front of children).Make family timeCreate a sense of belonging - sharing ideas, values and beliefs.Find some way to spend time together as a family group. Make fun times together.Shared mealtimes (without television or phone calls) allow everyone to share information, and to know what is happening to each other.Do things together – play cards or games, take holidays, go on outings or walks, go camping, play sport, share hobbies.CommitmentShow loyalty to your family. Stick up for each other so that each person feels confident in the family’s support.Pull together to form a united front and to find solutions.Family rituals and traditionsThe little special things (daily rituals) that you do everyday and on special occasions help build a sense of belonging, inner security and contentedness. Daily rituals can be how you say goodbye, what you do at mealtimes and bedtime. Families benefit from coming together to celebrate special occasions (eg birthdays, Christmas and Name Days) and of having traditions about what happens at these times.Spiritual values and beliefsMany families have spiritual beliefs which give a sense of meaning and direction to the ordinary events of the day. They can also add strength and hope in times of crisis and difficulty.ResilienceStrong families are able to withstand setbacks and crises with a positive attitude and shared values and beliefs that help them cope with challenges. RemindersCreate a healthy climate for talking, listening and expressing feelings.Value the differences in each family member. Be quick with praise and slow with criticism. Sharing power promotes trust and caring. Develop friendships for support. Make time to be together. Hold on to your beliefs.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/05/2006031111Travel with childrenTravel with children – tips and suggestionsTravel with childrenTravelling with childrenHolidays with children000Practical tips on how to make travel, travelling, trips away and holidays with your children fun and relatively pain-free.00-100-30Travelling with children can be fun. It’s even more enjoyable if you’re all ready with what your children might need – especially for long trips.Long trips What to takeCar travel tipsKeeping children amused in the car Bus or train travelAir travel Travel sicknessLong tripsWhen taking children on long trips or holidays, it’s a good idea to plan ahead. If you’re going by car, plan your travel so there are lots of stops along the way for your children to run around and explore. Plan to take breaks at child-friendly places, such as parks and playgrounds. If you make your lunch stops a little before the usual lunch rush hour, you’ll get better service and it won’t take quite so long. You might not get there as fast, but getting there is part of the holiday!When having a toilet break, go into the toilets with your children. Make sure they wash their hands. You might like to pack some hand sanitiser, because it’s a good alternative for handwashing if soap and water aren’t available. Try to arrive reasonably early when you’re staying in overnight accommodation along the way. It can also be helpful to make sure you have a good amount of time at overnight stops.Holidays with young children are often better if they are fairly simple. For example, staying in one place where there are lots of children’s activities might be easier and more fun for the whole family than doing lots of sightseeing.What to takeApart from the items you’d normally take on a trip, it can be helpful to take extra things just for the car trip. Here are some ideas:Paper towels or wipes can be used in lots of ways.Take empty plastic bags for rubbish, dirty clothes and dirty nappies. Take a change of clothes for each child. Depending on the season, you might also want to take hats or something warm to put on. Some families take an old icecream container for accidents of any kind. It can also work as a potty if your child hasn’t been toilet trained for long and there are no toilets around. If you have a child who wets the bed, take a piece of plastic to protect mattresses. Take a bag of things to do on the trip (see ‘Car travel’ below).Take some healthy food, such as fruit, to snack on.Bring water to drink, and try to avoid too many soft drinks. Small plastic water bottles with pop-tops can be very good for young children.Car travel tipsNever leave children alone in a parked car.Keep a spare key in your purse or wallet – if your car doesn’t have remote locking, it can be easy to lock the keys in the car. Take everything off the dashboard and the back parcel ledge – even small things can fly off and injure your children if you have to stop suddenly. Travelling at night so your children can sleep isn’t always a good idea, because it isn’t safe to let them lie down on the seat without restraints.Make sure the sun doesn’t shine directly on babies or young children in the car. You can hang a piece of cloth from the closed window to provide shade, or buy sunshades to fit your car’s windows. Try not to have too many things that children need to share. Sharing is hard at the best of times, and when children are tired it can be a real challenge. Have a pillow and a rug each, rather than one to share. Sit in the back with your children for some of the time, if there’s room. This makes the trip much more enjoyable for them.Be prepared for stops if a child feels sick or needs to go to the toilet. They usually can’t ‘hang on’ until the next town.Don’t start the car until everyone’s seatbelt is fastened. Stop the car if a child undoes his seatbelt or if children are distracting the driver. See our article on car safety for more information.Keeping children amused in the carBabiesGive your baby a rattle or musical toy to play with. Hang a mobile above the baby capsule/car seat. Keep a few soft toys with you – you can rotate them so your baby will occasionally get something new to look at. Tie a couple of your baby’s favourite toys to her seat with a ribbon, so if she drops them she can get them back. Make sure the ribbon isn’t long enough to go around her neck. Sing while you drive, or play some gentle music.Toddlers Have some toys and books within easy reach.Give your toddler something to eat and drink on the way – make it a ‘car picnic’. Play some children’s music and sing along, or listen to a story CD. Point out interesting things you pass – for example, ‘Look, can you see the train? Where do you think it’s going?’If it’s a long trip, stop every little while and let your toddler have a run around.Preschoolers and older childrenLook at a map with your children before you leave – trace the way you’ll be going with a pencil or just your finger. You might also like to use the internet to find information on the towns you’ll be passing through, and their places of interest, with older children.Count the cars, horses, bridges or other things along the way. Guess how many you’ll see before the next town. Sing some favourite songs. You can even try to make up some new verses for them. Play guessing games – for example, ‘I'm thinking of an animal that’s big and grey’. If it’s a long car trip, plan to stop at playgrounds or parks along the way. Have some toys, books, sticker books and story CDs within easy reach. Have some wrapped parcels for surprises that children can unwrap as well as play with on the way.It’s very hard for siblings not to fight if they have to sit in a car together for a long time. A high pile of pillows and blankets between them can make a ‘wall’ so they each have their own area – but only use soft things to make the wall.Bus or train travelTravelling on a bus or train can be very exciting for young children. But long trips can pose similar challenges to long car trips, because children can get bored with the scenery and sick of being stuck in a confined space.Here are some suggestions for keeping children entertained on bus or train trips:Look at the numbers of the stops or names of the stations. Talk with them about the safe way to sit and move on buses and trains. Look for animals, buildings, trees or other trains or buses. You could turn this into a game of travel bingo – for example, ‘Who’ll be the first person to see a sheep?’Count how many times the bus or train stops. Ask your child to tell you a story. Look for familiar things that tell you when you’re nearly home. Take food, drink, toys and books as you would for car travel.Air travelThere’s no reason you can’t take a baby on a plane, but very young babies tend to do better if they’ve had a few weeks to get settled into the world before travelling. It can also be healthier for your baby if you can wait a few months before flying. Germs are easily circulated in aircraft cabins, and very young babies don’t have the same resistance to infections as older children and adults. This means they can get sick more easily.Here are some other points to consider when flying with children:If you’re going overseas, check with your doctor or a travel medical adviser well in advance so you can all get the vaccinations you need.Dress children lightly for air travel, and check that you can get blankets from the cabin staff if needed. Layers of clothes that you can take on and off are a good idea.Some airlines are better at supporting parents travelling with children. It can be helpful to ask other parents about which airlines they like to fly with.If you’re able to organise the timing so your trip back home happens during Australia’s night-time, you’re more likely not to disturb your children’s sleep pattern. They’ll be more likely to sleep through most of the trip, even if you find it hard.If you have a baby, it can be helpful to carry him in a sling so your hands are free.If you have a toddler, it can be handy to take a fold-up stroller for her to sit in at airports.Plane travel with a cold Try to avoid if possible taking any child who has a cold on a plane trip. The fall in air pressure can cause pain and severe ear problems. If it’s unavoidable, see a doctor for advice before the trip.If a child or adult in your family has had a recent cold, it can help to use decongestant nose sprays, drops or medicines 15-20 minutes before take-off and landing.Seating If you’re travelling with a baby, you can ask to have a bulkhead seat, which gives you more leg room and a place for a bassinette. There might already be a bassinette in the bulkhead, but check with the airline when booking – you might have to bring your own, and a size and weight limit applies. Bassinettes also offer a place for your baby to sit while you have your meal, or when you just want a break from holding him. They also give him a place to play.When travelling with an older child, the bulkhead seats give you more leg room – but because the arm rests have the tray attached, they don’t fold up. It might be more comfortable to travel in the normal seats with an older child. This way you can at least fold back the arm rest so she can sleep with her head on your lap. If the plane isn’t crowded, the airline staff might even give you an extra seat so your child can stretch out.Airline staff When travelling with your child alone, it can be a good idea, when booking your ticket, to ask the airline staff member if you can be provided with an assistant at every stop. This assistant will help you collect your luggage and make transfers to connecting flights.When the airline staff ask at the start of your flight if you’ll need any help, tell them you’ll need a hand to heat bottles and/or solids, and that you might need help at mealtimes so you can eat.Changing nappies It can be a good idea to change your baby’s nappy just before you go on board.The change area in the toilets is very small, so you might find it easier to change in the bassinette or on your seat. Check the nappy first – if it’s a soiled nappy, you might be more comfortable going to the toilet because of the smell.Toys Pack a comfort or cuddle toy your child likes for the plane trip. You might also like to take some old favourite toys your child hasn’t seen for a while, and bring these out during the trip. Small toys – such as little dolls, cars, trucks and trains – are good for playing on the tray top. The airline baby/children’s pack is also useful because it’s something your child hasn’t seen before.For babies, have a range of colourful toys with different shapes, textures and sounds on hand. The airline staff might help keep your baby distracted by taking him for a walk down the aisle every once in a while too.Peekaboo games are also good – you might find that some of the passengers nearby will play this with your baby.What to do during take-off and landing If your baby can sleep during take-off and landing, it will be easier for you both. If not, try delaying a feed until those times – the sucking and swallowing action from breastfeeding or drinking from a bottle will help with any pressure build-up in your child’s ears. You might not be able to wait, so it can also help to have a small bottle to offer when taking off/coming down. Even if your baby takes only a small amount, it can be enough to help with ear discomfort.For older children, offer a drink at take-off and landing. If your child is old enough, you could give her a soft lolly to suck and chew. Chewing gum can also help.Travel sicknessTravel sickness is usually caused by the change of position and movement on the inner ear. Although it’s most likely on ships and boats, it can also happen in planes, buses and cars.The symptoms of travel sickness can include:an unsettled tummypalenessyawningflatulence (or ‘burps’)a headachedizzinessvomiting.Travel sickness can go on for up to three days if the person stays in the same movement (for example, on a boat). It usually gets better in four days as the body adjusts to the new situation. Car sickness usually stops a few minutes after stopping the car.Some children are more prone to travel sickness than others.What to do to avoid travel sicknessBefore leaving, don’t eat fatty foods, but do eat something – it seems worse on an empty stomach. Encourage children with travel sickness to look outside the vehicle, not inside. They shouldn’t look at moving things, like other cars – instead, they should try to look at something that’s still, such as the same spot on the horizon. Make sure there’s a breeze and fresh air – it’s a good idea to have the window open a little bit. Don’t read in a moving vehicle. Some people find that keeping their head as still as possible can help. Try to distract travel-sick children by getting them to think about other things. If your child goes pale, gets very quiet or complains of feeling sick, stop and let him have a walk in the fresh air. Medicines to prevent travel sickness can be bought from chemists. Check with your doctor before giving them to young children or babies. If your children are often sick, take a container, wipes, a towel and a change of clothes in case of accidents.Rightdid you knowAlmost 50% of children get car-sick at some time in their lives.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesStoppard, M. (1990) Baby Care Book. London:Dorling KindereslyCooper, C. (1998). Motion sickness. Medical Observer, CME.Wunsch, H. (1999). Pseudoephedrine fails the ear-pain test in children during air flights. The Lancet 353. 1683.01/10/200901/10/201218/03/201150961111Leaving your child at home aloneHome aloneHome alone000A guide to help you decide when your children are old enough to be left at home alone, or when leaving children at home by themselves is safe.00-100-30At some stage, most parents will wonder when it’s OK to leave their children at home on their own. You’ll need to use your own judgment, taking into account your own family circumstances and the age and maturity of your child, to help you decide if you’re comfortable with him being at home alone. The law in Australia Leaving older children in charge Questions to ask yourself  When the time is right  Leaving children in cars Reminders The law in AustraliaThere’s no actual law that states at what age children can or can’t be left alone. But the law is clear about the responsibility of parents to look after their children, and parents are expected to make ‘reasonable’ decisions about their children’s safety.While different societies and cultures have different customs, in Australia there’s a legal obligation for parents to make sure their children are properly looked after. They’re expected to provide their children with food, clothing, a place to live, safety and supervision.Parents can be charged with an offence if children are left in a dangerous situation and aren’t fed, clothed or provided with accommodation.The police or Children, Youth and Family Services can remove children from situations where their safety is in serious danger and where there’s no guardian present.Leaving older children in chargeWhen a child or person under the age of 18 years (for example, an older sibling or teenage friend) cares for children, the question of negligence or liability could arise. As a parent, you might be held responsible for the carer as well as your own children if something goes wrong. For these reasons, it’s better that carers should be adults, as a person who is still legally a child wouldn’t be judged against the standards of responsibility expected of adults.If you leave your children in the care of an older brother or sister or other young person, you must be sure they’re reliable and mature. Ask yourself, ‘Could this child cope with an emergency, such as a fire, an accident or a break-in?’If your child is left alone without a ‘carer’, she must be old enough to take action in an emergency. She must know what to do and where to get help. Leaving babies or toddlers alone isn’t advisable under any circumstances.Questions to ask yourselfIf you’re thinking of leaving your children at home alone, here are some questions you can ask yourself.How safe is our home? Accidents can happen so quickly – most parents know how easily a child can fall into a pool, pull saucepans off the stove, swallow objects or play with matches. Parents always have to be on the alert, especially with young children.There’s an even greater need to check that dangerous things are out of reach if you’re not going to be around your child. See our article on home safety for more information.Are our ground rules clear? Every family has its own ground rules. It’s important to be clear about what your child can and can’t do – and these rules might be different when you’re not there, or when someone else is minding your children. For example, making a hot drink, turning on the heater, using the internet or running the bath might seem like simple tasks, but you might prefer it that your child doesn’t do them when he’s on his own.Don’t assume your child know the rules – go over them and ask her to tell you what they are before you leave her home alone.How long will I be away? Will it be for a few minutes, an hour, a morning or a full day? How long you’re going to be away will make a difference to what you decide to do – you’ll need to think about the age of your children and how they feel about being left. Most importantly, you’ll have to consider how capable they are.Who’ll be in charge? It isn’t fair to expect an older child to take on the full weight of responsibility that’s needed to care for younger siblings. This child’s lack of experience might make it difficult for him to safely and calmly care for the other children.If you have no choice, it’s important that the child left in charge is capable and responsible, and that the other children feel safe. This child should be able to handle any disagreements or fights and know what to do if the other children ‘play up’, disobey the ground rules, or are ill.A child with a disability will often require extra care, which might be too much for another child to handle.Am I sure my child knows the important information? Before leaving your child alone, it can be a good idea to write some instructions on paper and keep them near the phone. Make sure your home phone number and address, emergency number, and information about how to contact you are all by the phone too.You might also like to talk about the following points with your child:where you’re going and when you’ll be back  how to get in contact with you how to use the telephone  your home telephone number and address (explain that the police or fire department will need to know where to go if she has to call 000)  what to do in case of fire where to find the telephone numbers of trusted friends, neighbours or relatives  where to find the first aid kit, and how to use it  how to use deadlocks  what to do if someone knocks on the door  what to do if the phone rings (whether she should answer it) the family rules  how many friends are allowed to come over, if any if she can play outside  if she can use the swimming pool  if she can go to the shop or visit a neighbour  if there are rules she needs to know about the family pets. Some families use a special family password to make sure their child is OK. For example, if you’ve agreed that your child won’t answer the phone when you’re out but you want to be able to call him, you can pre-arrange a code. You might let the phone ring three times, hang up, then call again. When this happens, your child knows that it’s you calling and it’s OK to answer.     When the time is rightThere comes a time when most teenagers start pleading with their parents to let them stay home alone without someone to look after them. This is a normal part of adolescence, when young people are trying to feel more grown-up and are developing independence.Once again, the age and maturity of your children will make a difference. For example, you might feel confident with a 13-year-old who’s very responsible, but quite worried about a 15-year-old who takes a lot of risks.Letting go of the reins gradually might mean giving your children chances to practise being by themselves and to make mistakes in a safe environment. Leaving children in carsLeaving your child in a car unsupervised at any time is extremely dangerous, and is illegal in every Australian state and territory.In summer, the temperature inside a car is much hotter than it is outside. Your child can suffer heat exhaustion and become seriously ill extremely quickly. Children also get bored and will explore the car’s knobs and buttons, which can be dangerous. They might become distressed, or injure themselves trying to struggle free from their seatbelts.You can read more about keeping your children safe in the car.RemindersCheck the safety of your home before leaving your child alone. Test your child on the ground rules and what to do in case of any trouble. Phone regularly to check on your child.  If putting someone else in charge of your child, think carefully about who’s responsible enough. Make sure the child or person looking after your child can handle any emergency and knows where to get help. Check that each child feels safe. Return home when you said you would. Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles29/04/201129/04/201310/08/201120481801111Creating new family routinesNew routinesHousework - creating new routinesManaging the home - creating new routinesRoutines - creating new000Some ideas on when and how a parent might create a new family routine.0Green0-100-30There are a number of reasons why you might need to create a new family routine. Here some ideas to consider when setting up a new routine.When do you need a new routine?What makes a good routine?Thinking about a new routineDesigning a new routineWhen do you need a new routine?If you feel your family doesn’t spend enough time having fun together, a new routine might help. You could introduce family days, game nights, reading a book together or doing regular exercise.Plan routines for demanding and stressful times in the day. If you have too much to do and not enough time – like when you’re getting the family ready for school and work, or preparing the family meal – a routine can really save the day.Think about a new routine when something is regularly causing conflict in the family. Routines can be particularly good at stopping fights between children.If you find yourself constantly having to ask or nag children, this might be a sign that a new routine needs to be put in place. Routines are particularly useful when you are trying to help family members develop new habits, like good hygiene, completing chores, practising an instrument, or doing homework.As your children grow and develop, revise your routines to take into account all the new things they can do. Routines should help your children become more independent.If there are times you can pretty much guarantee your child will misbehave, a routine can really help. You could use the tips in the Planned Activities Routine guide, designed to help parents deal with challenging situations. It helps parents to carefully plan ahead and take some of the stress out of tricky situations like going shopping, driving in the car or visiting.Routines can have a downside, especially if children’s lives are so regimented that they don’t get to make choices, do their own thing, play, have fun and just relax. And everyone enjoys an occasional change of routine to break monotony.What makes a good routine?There are no easy routine recipes that will suit every family. Each routine needs to be based on your child and your situation. But effective routines share three key features.Well planned: good routines are clear and understood by everyone in the family. Everyone understands their role and knows what they need to do.Regular: good routines become part of everyday family life.Predictable: in a good routine, things happen in the same order each time. Routines for children with a disabilityRoutines can really help children with disabilities. View a film clip on time management and routine for parents of children with a disability.Thinking about a new routineBedding down a new routine can be a little tricky. This is because you will have to make some changes to the way your family does things now. Your new routine will run more smoothly if you consider the following: Routines need to meet the everyday demands of juggling activities for different members of the family, but also need to meet more long-term goals. It's worth thinking about how each activity enhances or affects longer-term goals for the family. For example, if having regular quality family time is important in your family, try to have routines that allow room for this.How will new routines adapt to changes – that is, school holidays, moving house, new baby, being away from home and so on.Can you make things easier by doing things ahead of time (such as packing school bags the night before school)?Is everyone pulling their weight? Could other family members do more to share the burden and help things run smoothly? If so, work out their role and what they need to do as part of the new routine.How can you build on family members’ strengths? What are your family members good at, and how could you work those abilities into the routine (for example, a child who is good at telling the time might be time keeper).Can you build fun or play into daily tasks that you do with your children?Can you make a new routine part of an old one? For example, you might get your child to take a new medicine just before he brushes his teeth.How can you make the routine work without nagging? Telling them what to do isn’t the only way for you to remind your children about routines. Instead, you could use the end of a television show to signal the beginning of a bedtime routine, or you could give older children their own alarm clock to get them up and going in the morning. Simple lists, or even post-it notes, displayed in a prominent place can be good reminders. Young children might like to make a picture story book depicting the family routine.What will you do if the routine does not go to plan? Do you need back-up plans when the unexpected happens?Are there enough resources (financial, time, supports, even health insurance) to support the planned routines? Designing a new routineIf your children are old enough, get them to help you plan the routine. By the time they are about five, talking about routines can really help children organise themselves. Work out the goal of the routine. Picture the end result. For example: children are ready for school by 8.30 am – dressed, shoes on, had breakfast, teeth and hair brushed, school bag packed with everything they need for the day.List the individual steps in the order they need to be done.Work out what part of the routine your children can do for themselves, and where you will need to help. Think about what step you might be able to teach your child next to help him move towards independence in the routine. Make sure everyone is clear about their specific role in the routine.Work out the timing of the routine. How much time does each step take? What time will you need to start to get everything done and allow time for the unexpected?Think about ways of setting up the routine for success. Can you get rid of any distractions, for example, by turning off the TV during the morning routine?Consider any new family rules that you might have to make. If you make some simple, clear rules about the kind of behaviour you expect, it will help your children know what to do. From a young age, children can be involved in helping to set rules and working out the consequences for breaking them.Try to build time into a routine, such as breakfast time, to talk or have fun.Before you start, talk everyone through the steps of the routine. Be prepared to do this more than once until it is clear for the whole family. Here is an example of a morning routine for one family.Name of routine: Getting ready for school in the morningTimeStepWho is responsible7 pm (night before school day)Read school noticesMumPack school bagSarahPrepare school lunchDadCheck Sarah has books for library day on WednesdayMum and SarahCheck Sarah has everything she needs for sports on FridayMum and SarahSet out clothes for tomorrow Check alarmMum6.30 am(school day)Mum and Dad’s alarm goesMumMum and Dad get dressedMum7 amSarah’s alarm goesSarahSarah gets upSarahHave breakfastFamilyGet dressedSarah7.25 amBrush teeth and hairSarah (with Mum’s help)7.30 amQuiet reading or play timeSarahMum and dad get ready for workMum and Dad7.45 amIn the car (Mon and Thu: Dad) (Tue, Wed and Fri: Mum) Mum or Dad 8 amArrive at before-school care, hang bag up and settle inSarah and Mum or Dad8.55 amGo to schoolSarahGive your new routine time to work. It takes time to overcome old habits and learn new ways of behaving – persistence is the key to success. Inevitably, you will find ways of improving things as you go. Family members will also need time to adjust. Look out for signs of effort, early cooperation and successes. Celebrate by giving lots of praise or even special rewards until the routine becomes part of what your children regularly do.Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesBoyce W.T., Jensen, E.W., Cassel, J.C., Collier, A.M., Smith, A.H., & Ramey, C.T. (1977). Influence of life events and family routines on childhood respiratory tract illness. Pediatrics, 60, 609-15.Brody, G.H., & Flor, D.L. (1997). Maternal psychological functioning, family processes, and child adjustment in rural, single-parent, African American families. Developmental Psychology, 33, 1000-1011.Churchill, S.L. & Stoneman, Z. (2004). Correlates of family routines in Head Start families. Early Childhood Practice & Research, 6(1). Available at http://ecrp.uiuc.edu/v6n1. Accessed 24 September 2007.Denham, S.A. (2003) Relationships between family rituals, family routines, and health. Journal of Family Nursing, 9(3), 305-330.Fiese, B.H. Tomcho, T.J., Douglas, M., Josephs, K. Poltrock S., & Baker, T. (2002). A review of 50 years of research on naturally occurring family routines and rituals: Cause for celebration? Journal of Family Psychology, 16(4), 381–390.Fiese, B. H., Wamboldt, F.S., & Anbar, R.D. (2005) Family asthma management routines: Connections to medical adherence and quality of life. Journal of Pediatrics 146, 171-176.Howe, G.W. (2002). Integrating family routines and rituals with other family research paradigms: comment on the special section. Journal of Family Psychology, 16(4), 437–440.Jensen, E.W., James, S.A., Boyce, W.T. & Hartnett, S.A. (1983). The family routines inventory: Development and validation. Social Sciences Medicine, 17(4), 201-211.Kliewer, W., & Kung, E. (1998). Family moderators of the relation between hassles and behaviour problems in inner-city youth. Journal of Clinical Child Psychology, 27, 278-292.Markson S., Fiese B.H. (2000). Family rituals as a protective factor against anxiety for children with asthma. Journal Pediatric Psychology, 25, 471-479.Sprunger, L.W., Boyce, W.T., & Gaines, J.A. (1985). Family-infant congruence: Routines and rhythmicity in family adaptations to a young infant. Child Development, 56(3), 564-572.Sytsma, S.E.,  Kelley, M.L., & Wymer, J.H. (2001). Development and initial validation of the Child Routines Inventory. Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment, 23(4), 241-251.Weisner, T., Matheson, C.l., Coots, J., & Bernheimer, L. (2005). Sustainability of daily routines as a family outcome. In A. Maynard & M. Martini (Eds), Learning in cultural context: Families, peers and school.New York: Kluwer Academic.Content funded by NSW Department of Ageing, Disability and Home Care19/11/20072111100Child care statistics and factsChild care types, information and factsStats & factsChild care statistics001Information about how many people use child care and the types of care they use.00-100-30In 2009, an estimated 828 381 children aged 0-12 years attended Australian Government-approved child care in Australia. This is an increase over the previous year’s figure of 760 852. But many more than this also receive informal care from friends or family.The number of Australian children attending child care has increased dramatically in the past few years, because of the growing number of working parents. This has led to an increased demand for child care places.For many families, child care is a juggling act. Many use two or more forms of care – often a formal service, such as a long-day care centre, along with support from relatives, friends, nannies or babysitters.In 2008, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, families of children aged 0-12 years used child care in the following ways:long-day care – 408 000 children (12%)before-school and/or after-school care – 253 000 children (7%)family day care – 71 000 children (2%)occasional care and other formal care – 35 000 children (1%).Approximately 250 000 children attended more than one form of child care service each week. Reasons parents gave for this were that:there were limited hours available at the facility of their choicethey wanted their child to have contact with other family membersthey couldn’t afford to use more formal child carehaving two forms of care was more convenient to the familythey wanted their child to experience a variety of situations and relationships.RightDid you knowIn 2008, grandparents provided care on a usual basis for 660 000 grandchildren (19% of all children aged 0-12 years).Video TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2008). 4402.0 Childhood Education and Care, Australia (Reissued). Retrieved August 10, 2011, from http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/DetailsPage/4402.0June%202008%20(Reissue)?OpenDocument.Australian Government Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations (2006). 2006 Australian Government Census of Child Care Services. Canberra: Commonwealth of Australia.Australian Government Department of Family and Community Services (2004). 2004 Australian Government Census of Child Care Services. Canberra: Commonwealth of Australia.Australian Government Productivity Commission (2010). Report on Government Services 2010: Children's Services (Chapter 3). Retrieved December 2, 2010, from http://www.pc.gov.au/gsp/reports/rogs/2010.01/03/201101/08/201210/08/2011221111Child care typesTypes of child careChild care typesChild care - types000A guide to types of child care in Australia. Includes information on home-based care, long day care, family day care, occasional care and out of school hours care.00-100-30Most families will need to rely on child care at some stage in their children’s lives. You might need just one hour a day, one or more days a week, all-day care for up to five days a week or even overnight care.There are four options for child care in Australia:home-based care, which is having your child cared for by a friend, relative or nanny in your homefamily day care with a small group of children in an approved carer’s homecentre-based care, in a child care centre with trained staff and a structured programoccasional care, which is short-term, centre-based care.Child care is mainly designed for children aged up to five years, but can also include before-school or after-school hours and holiday care for primary school-aged children. These extra services can be a real help for working parents.From the age of three, children can attend kindergarten or preschool programs in some centres. These usually offer short sessions, from about one hour at the age of three, up to four hours for four-year-olds. Some long-day care centres also run kindergarten programs alongside their child care services.Care, learning and education are a vital part of all child care settings. Programs focus on play-based learning, communication, language (including literacy and numeracy), social skills and emotional development.Getting help from friends, relatives or a nanny is called informal care. Formal care refers to a registered facility. Most Australian families use more informal care than formal care.Deciding on type of careWhen you’re trying to decide what type of care is right for your family, you might want to consider:whether you or your partner could work from homethe possibility of using a nanny or babysitterwhether the cost of child care makes it too expensive to return to work whether you need long-day care or just a few hours a day.Research shows that if child care is of high quality, your child will do best in the style of care that reflects your family’s specific interests or values. So if your family loves outdoor activities, you might prefer to use a centre that supports that. Or you might want a home environment, or a structured program, or somewhere that music is a strong part of learning, or a setting that can cater to Halal food choices. You might be looking for a place that has a cross-section of different activities – whatever fits well with your family’s values.There can also be advantages to exposing your child to different styles of care and having your child mix with kids from a wide range of social and family backgrounds. This can help your child understand and accept the many different interests, perspectives and values out there in the world.Our tips on choosing care can help you decide on the right child care option for your family. You can also read more in our article on how good child care helps kids.Rightdid you knowDebate has raged for decades over whether child care is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ for children. But researchers now say that the issue isn’t whether a child is in care – it’s more about quality, and whether the type of care suits your family.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesWise, S. et al. (1995). Child care in cultural context: Issues for new research. Australian Institute of Family Studies Early Child Care Study.01/03/201101/03/201301/09/2011051111Child care costs and feesCosts & feesChild care - costs and fees000A guide to child care costs and fees, with information on calculating what child care will cost your family.00-100-30Figuring out what your family can afford is a starting point for deciding whether to use child care, and what kind is best for your family.What you pay forChild care services can set their own fees, and daily fees can vary a lot across services. Fees are affected by many things, such as the service’s location, the types of care the service offers and any extra services or resources it supplies (for example, meals and nappies). Many child care services charge fees for days when children are away, or if the service is closed for public holidays. It’s a good idea to ask your child care service about its policies and procedures for fee payments when you enrol your child.What you might pay Daily fees are usually between $70 and $120 per day, depending on the child care centre.In 2010, the median weekly child care fees across Australia (based on 50 hours of care in a week) were as follows:long-day care centres – $285 family day care schemes – $270. Fees across Australia vary depending on which state you’re in. In 2010, the lowest median weekly fee for long-day care was $270 (Tasmania, South Australia and Queensland). The highest median weekly fee was $345 (ACT). For family day care, the lowest median weekly fee was $255 (South Australia), with the highest median weekly fee being $315 (ACT).Government assistanceThe Australian Government offers financial assistance to help with the cost of child care. This can reduce your child care costs a lot. You have a few options. Each option has eligibility criteria depending on your situation:Child Care Benefit (CCB): this is available to you if you’re a parent, foster parent, grandparent or kinship carer with a child in your care who attends a child care centre approved by or registered with the government. Child Care Rebate: this provides extra financial assistance if you use approved childcare or if you’re working, studying or training during the week. The child care rebate covers half of your out-of-pocket costs (up to a yearly cap of $7500 per child depending on your circumstances). This can be paid into your bank account or to the child care centre, fortnightly, every three months, or once a year. Jobs, Education and Training (JET): Child Care fee assistance – this provides extra help if you’re on an income support payment, looking for work, studying or starting a job. This will cover most of your costs. For more information about child care fees and financial assistance, visit www.mychild.gov.au. You can also calculate your level of child care assistance on the Centrelink website.Special needsIf you have a child with additional or special needs, you might be entitled to in-home child care assistance from the government. The government can also provide extra support to child care services to help them meet the needs of your child.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesAutralian Bureau of Statistics (2010). Australian social trends, June 2010. Cat no. 4102.0. Retrieved December 2, 2010, from http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/DetailsPage/4102.0Jun%202010?OpenDocument.Australian Government Department of Family and Community Services (2004). 2004 Australian Government Census of Child Care Services. Canberra: Commonwealth of Australia.Australian Government Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations (2006). 2006 Australian Government Census of Child Care Services. Canberra: Commonwealth of Australia.Australian Government Productivity Commission (2010). Report on government services 2010: Children’s services (Chapter 3). Retrieved December 2, 2010, from http://www.pc.gov.au/gsp/reports/rogs/2010.10/11/201110/11/201316/11/2011071111Child care: getting startedYour child starting child careStarting child careChild care - starting000A guide to finding and choosing child care. Includes information on putting your child's name down early, what age to start your child at child care, and how to choose a child care centre for your child.00-100-30The key to making child care work is doing what best suits you and your child. Here are some ideas to help you start planning your child care choices.Signing up early for child careStarting child care: what age?Choosing care for your childInformation to give carersSigning up early for child careThinking well ahead is a must if you want your child to go to the child care service of your choice. For example, you might have limited choice in your area, or you might not know how long the waiting lists are.You should organise child care early because:there’s usually high demand for placesmost formal child care services have waiting listsregional and rural areas often have limited child care facilities.It’s a good idea to register your child with services even if you’re only considering a return to work or other change. Taking the time to register will mean you’ll have the option later.Occasional care and play groups are funded by the government to offer support and respite for at-home parents. These can also fill fast.To find available child care places in your area, phone the Child Care Access Hotline on 1800 670 305 (freecall). This is the national hotline funded by the Australian Government to help parents find child care vacancies.Starting child care: what age?There’s no best time to start child care – it all depends on what suits your family and child.There are some advantages to having your children, especially a newborn, at home longer, including:easier breastfeedinga chance for you and your child to bondtime to get to know your childone-to-one nurturing contact with your child.The first time you leave your child in care, no matter what his age, is likely to be challenging. Some children will cry the first few times you leave them, but things usually get easier after this. Having a good relationship with your child care workers is a good start. They’ll let you know if your child’s having trouble settling in.You  might like to read our article on settling your child into care for coping tips and strategies.Choosing care for your childThe different types of child care all offer slightly different things to you and your child.You might want to have your child cared for in a home environment, or you might prefer the structure and formality of a child care centre. You might try several different types of child care before you find what works best for your family.To get a better idea of what’s on offer, you could visit local child care services or carers to see what you think of them. Trust your own reaction and instinct, as well as doing research on the options available. If it feels right, chances are it will be.If you plan to use a child care centre or family day care, it’s a good idea to ask yourself the following questions.The program at careAre structured activities, naps and mealtimes planned? Is this plan well displayed for parents?Is there a chance for quiet time or rest during the day?Will staff report back fully on your child’s day?Is there easy-to-access information about the centre’s policies, level of staff training, hygiene and discipline procedures?The settingIs the environment stimulating and safe?Does the centre or home have a relaxed and happy atmosphere?Do the staff spend time talking to and encouraging the children?Relationship with parentsDo you feel welcome to discuss any issues with staff?Can you and your child do an orientation program?Can you drop in at any time to visit and observe your child in the environment?Will other family members be encouraged to be involved in activities?Facilities at careDoes the centre/home seem bright and interesting, with plenty of light and lots of toys and activities?Will your child have the chance to explore and create?Do toileting, nappy changing and rest times meet individual needs?Check the ratio – for example, is there at least one carer for every four babies?Is there plenty of room and outdoor equipment for your child to enjoy? NutritionIs a healthy selection of snacks and drinks offered?Are meals provided, or do you need to supply them?Do snacks and meal arrangements meet children’s individual needs?Does the centre follow Australian dietary guidelines for children? The centre should be able to show you their menu, if applicable, and policy on nutrition.If you need to pack food for your child to take to child care, there are a few things to remember. Meat or dairy products being transported from home to the centre should be put in an insulated lunch box with a frozen drink bottle to keep the temperature below 5ºC. At the centre, the food should be put in a fridge straightaway. Expressed breastmilk can be transported in an esky with an ice brick to keep it chilled.General information You might also want to ask:What happens when my child’s sick?Will I pay for days we don’t attend?What happens if I’m late for a pick-up?Who else can pick up my child?What do I pack for my child?How can I help my child adjust to child care?Information to give carersOnce you’ve chosen the child care setting that best suits your child and you, you’ll need to give some information about your child to her new carers. This is likely to include:information about your child’s wellbeing, including sleeping patterns, emotional and social preferences, and any unusual events that might be affecting herany food allergies, intolerances or other medical conditions your child hasyour child’s hygiene practiceslearning activities your child enjoysany concerns you have about your child’s developmentany cultural or individual differences in practice that need to be considered sensitively and positively.RightDid you knowTwo in five mothers return to work before their child’s first birthday.Video TranscriptsRelated articles01/03/201101/03/201301/09/2011031111Child care: how good care helps kidsGood care helps kidsChild care - pros and cons000An outline of how good-quality child care can help children’s development, with information on what high-quality child care is.0Green0-100-30There’s plenty of debate about whether child care is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ for children. Research now tells us that the quality of care is what matters.Some important factsWaving goodbye to your child for the first time can be a difficult thing to do, even when you know that research shows that good-quality child care can have benefits for children. Many parents can feel anxious or guilty to begin with.Research has found that high-quality child care can be good for your child in several ways. It can enhance your child’s development, improve language and encourage social skills.According to research, the secret is to concentrate on the quality of care that you choose for your child, and how well this type of care fits in with your family values and interests.Child care regulationAll formal child care systems are covered by state and territory regulations on:group sizes for various ageschild-to-staff ratiosstaff qualificationshealth and safety.This makes sure that children in care have stimulating, positive experiences and interactions to help them develop. For parents to claim Child Care Benefit (CCB), the centre must register with the National Childcare Accreditation Council (NCAC) and meet the council’s requirements.Other benefitsGood-quality child care can have some developmental benefits for your child. There are also some other benefits that you might not have thought of.For example, child care professionals are trained to deliver early child education programs and are familiar with early development issues. Their experienced eyes might pick up any potential developmental problems your child has.Parenting can be a tough job. Sometimes another point of view or opinion from a qualified person can be a real bonus. This is one of the benefits that child care can offer – another person gets to know your child well and takes an interest in your child’s wellbeing.RightHow child care, playgroups and preschool help kidsStarting child care can be a big and challenging step – for you and your child. But good-quality child care has lots of benefits for kids, as this video explains.Along with playgroups and preschool, child care can be a great way for children to learn important social skills. These include communicating, sharing, taking turns, and being able to relate to grown-ups other than mum and dad. Child care can also help kids learn to be a bit more independent.And child care gives you the chance to do things you need to do – whether that’s working or just taking some time for yourself.Video TranscriptsRelated articles8/5/20063/5/201111111Returning to work: a guideReturning to work after having babyReturning to workWork - returningReturning to work000An overview of issues you might face when you decide to go back to work after the birth of your child, plus what to expect from returning to work after having a baby with information on child care, work life balance, handling stress00-100-30When you return to work after having a baby, you might feel a mix of emotions. There’s the excitement of working and spending time with adults again. But there can also be anxiety about your child’s care, and other feelings like guilt. Even if the adjustment takes time, things usually settle down.What to expectChild careFeeling stressedHaving a big breakWhat to expectThe return to work is usually motivated by needing the money, enjoying the work or the interaction with other adults, or a combination of these factors.Whatever your reasons, you’ll probably find that rejoining the workforce now that you’re a parent raises practical issues like tackling child care costs and availability, getting used to new family routines, and handling the extra workload of parenting plus a job.It can take a while to adjust. Mothers who return to work sometimes feel they suddenly have two jobs. Research says this is partly because domestic duties aren’t always well distributed, although more women are entering the workforce. Men aren’t always taking on more housework, even when their partner returns to work.Women might feel more stressed as a result of the extra work. Research has shown that more than half of working mothers feel they take out their stress on their families.You might have income difficulties when trying to balance the cost of child care with money earned.There might be difficulties organising care if your child falls ill. Research says that mothers often take on the responsibility of a sick child, whether they’re working or not. This might be because dad’s earning a higher wage and is seen to have more work responsibilities.There’s also the traditional view of mum as the primary carer. Some people think it’s more acceptable for women to stay at home.Child careChild care is probably the biggest concern for working parents today. For some, the cost of child care has increased so much that going to work just isn’t worthwhile financially.When your wages are just paying for child care, you might wonder why you work at all. Although enjoying a career is important to parents, the child care issue influences many people’s decision to stay at home.Separation from your child can also affect your decision on child care. Research says that about 1 in 10 working mothers feel guilty about having their child in care.Feeling stressedGetting the work-family balance right can take a little while, and when you return to work you take on extra responsibilities. Naturally, this might cause you some stress.Stress can be triggered by events or it can slowly build if conditions at work or at home are difficult.Here are some tips on reducing stress as a working parent:Take care of yourself. Eat a healthy diet and exercise regularly.If work is making you feel stressed, talk about your concerns with your manager or human resources manager.Are there things you could change at work to reduce your stress levels? If so, try to make these changes yourself or with the help of others. Perhaps you need to reduce your workload or hours? Life as a working parent will be easier if you can share your child care workload with other carers, family or a partner.Having a plan for unexpected events such as sick children can take some pressure off.Are you getting some regular time to yourself? This is a great way to relax and put things into perspective.Try to stay organised at work, listing your tasks and managing your time so things don’t get on top of you.Try not to take out stress on your family. If you find you’re snapping at your partner or children (or being very quiet), make the effort to talk about work problems.If the stress continues to be a problem, you might need to consider another job or else a career change. Seek advice from others or talk with a career counsellor.Having a big breakIf you’re planning to have a few years off work, there are some extra things you might want to consider. The main one is not to forget about work altogether – as tempting as this might be. Keeping up to date will make it much easier to get back into your career when you’re ready to work again.Here are some other tips:Keep in touch with old work friends – go out for a coffee and a catch-up now and again.Try to keep up to date with your industry – read journal articles or items in the paper, browse job ads every few weeks to see what employers are looking for, or perhaps take a course to keep your skills fresh.Do some short-term, freelance or casual work to keep your hand in.Once you’re ready to go back to work, sit down and think about the new skills you’ve gained raising a child. Some of these will look pretty good on a resume – you’ve probably learned a lot about negotiation, responsibility and balancing multiple tasks, for starters. When you’re writing an application, be sure to emphasise these, as well as anything you’ve done to keep in touch with your industry.RightDid you knowWorkplaces are changing to meet the needs of working parents.Your employer might have some good suggestions about balancing work and family.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesRussell, G., & Bowman, L. (2000). Work and family: Current thinking, research and practice. Prepared for the Department of Family and Community Services as a background paper for the National Families Strategy.01/03/201101/03/201309/08/201131111Returning to work: some tipsTips for returning to work after babyReturning to work tipsReturning to work - tips000Some tips to going back to work easier on you and your family, with tips on handling before work and after work routines, child care, and finding a work family life balance.00-100-30Returning to work after you become a parent is an exciting step and there’s lots to think about, including how you’ll fit in the extra responsibilities. These tips can help you get the most out of your time at home and at work.At homeMaking any changes before you start work makes things easier. One way to do this is to think about what your new daily routine will be like and whether there are things you can start doing now to ease the transition, like trialling a new child care routine or finding a backup carer.Talk with family, friends and carers about your plans. They might have ideas for saving time or for helping you spot potential problems before they arise.Try to leave work distractions at work. Now that you have less time with your baby, you’ll want to make the most of the time you have together.Planning some family time can be the secret to catch-ups. This can be a real help if you find your work responsibilities are making it harder for your family to spend time together.Doing what you can the night before makes life easier. Things like laying out clothes or making lunches all make the morning less of a rush.Some food and cooking shortcuts might help. For example, you could try cooking more than you need and freezing leftovers for future meals. This is one way of spending less time at the stove. Many supermarket magazines also have quick and easy recipes that take less than half an hour to make. When you’re workingSticking to a routine helps children know what to expect. Research also shows that it helps them to behave better. Read more about how routines can help your children.Visiting your child in care helps you both cope with your new work routine. You and your child might both feel strange about spending more time apart. Popping in for quick visits in the first week or so after you return to work will help you both adapt.Tackling any questions or worries about your child’s care quickly means they are less of a distraction. Talk to your child’s carer if you have any concerns or are looking for ideas to help the transition. If you let things stew, they can take up valuable brain space you’ll need at work!Developing a relationship with your child’s carer can really cut down on stress. Doing simple things like letting carers know how much you appreciate their care can encourage a good relationship between you and the carers. It also means they’ll be more likely to keep you informed of how your child’s going.Let your carer know if you need to change your schedule.Having a backup carer for your child reduces pressure. Somebody who can help out at short notice and who you feel comfortable with is the key. Some options are friends, parents from playgroup, grandparents, other relatives and partners.Have a backup plan for when your child gets sick. Decide in advance how you can tackle or share this responsibility. For example, if you have a partner, one of you might be able to work from home for a day or so to mind your child. Or you might need to find somebody else who can help out with emergencies.Grab the chance to relax and unwind when you can. This will help your stress levels and overall happiness. If you can, taking public transport to work can be a great way to have some time to read or listen to music without anyone bothering you. During your lunch break, take a walk around the park, do some window shopping, go to the gym, have coffee with a friend or read a book – whatever it takes to have some ‘me time’.Taking your child or family to work social occasions can also have benefits. Your colleagues will appreciate your situation more if they meet your family.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articles01/03/201101/09/201208/08/201141111Returning to work: preparing your familyReturning to work: finding work-life balancePreparing your familyWork - returning and preparing your family000Practical tips for returning to work after having a baby, getting a healthy work life balance and work family balance, and helping your child adapt when you go back to work after parental leave.00-100-30By the time you have to go back to work, your child has got pretty used to having you around. Adjusting to the change might be a challenge for you both. And going back to work could mean changes in your other relationships too.Your childThinking about what your child needs to be happy is a good start. Depending on age, your child’s needs range from just feeling safe and secure to interaction, play, encouragement and skills development. If you can work out ways to fulfil your child’s needs when you’re not around, it’ll make it easier for her to get used to your return to work.When they start child care, young children might experience separation anxiety. They might get upset and worried when they have to spend time away from you. This is a normal part of childhood development. Although it’s heartbreaking to see your baby upset, there are steps you can take to reduce his anxiety.Here are some ideas to help your child adapt when you go back to work:Talk to your child about what’s going to happen when the daily routine changes. Routine provides security and a sense of belonging for children, and they like to know beforehand if things are going to change.Practice with small separations, to show your child that when you go away, you always come back. This will build up your child’s sense of security. These separations need to be very short at first – even simple games of peekaboo are a good start. It can take a long time (even years) for your child to get used to being apart from you. It also pays to be aware that this change can have a novelty factor for some children – they might seem happy at first, but get upset a few days or weeks down the track. Take all the steps you need to make sure your child will be safe and well cared for. Feel free to ask your child care provider lots of questions. They expect it, and it helps you feel better about the separation too.Help your child become familiar with her new carers and child care environment by doing some orientation visits.Always say goodbye, and explain when you’ll be back. When your child’s upset, you might feel tempted to sneak out, but saying goodbye will build trust and reinforce the pattern.When your child’s at child care, let him keep something that makes him feel secure (a dummy, a teddy or a blanket).Be sympathetic to your baby. Let her know that you understand it’s hard and you wish you could stay.Follow the same routine each morning so your child knows what to expect.If you can, ease into the new arrangement by working part-time for the first week or two.For more information, you might like to read our articles on settling your child into care and getting started with child care. If you have mixed feelings about going back to work and leaving your child, other parents can be a great source of advice and support. You can connect in our online parent forums.Your partner and other family membersYour relationships with your partner and family might also be affected by returning to work. The secret to making this work is to make the most of your time together. For example:Spend time with family members, even if it’s just reading or watching TV.Talk to or email your partner during the workday.Schedule lunch or dinner dates with your partner. If you work near each other, you can spend time together having a quick coffee or lunch without having to find a babysitter.When there are jobs to be done around the house, try to do them together so you can talk. One of you can clean the shower while the other does the basin. One can wash the dishes while the other dries. You can both fold laundry.Put the kids to bed early so you have some time with your partner.Go to bed at the same time as your partner – who knows what might happen!If returning to work is proving very difficult and you don’t feel it’s working out, it’s all right to look at your work options again. There might be another way to manage your time and money so that you have a happier balance.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articles01/03/201101/03/201310/08/201131111Work optionsWork options after having a babyWork optionsWork - family-friendly workplace options000A guide to family-friendly flexible workplace policies and options, and to talking to your employer about your return to work after having a child.00-100-30Once you have children, you might like to consider family-friendly work options such as part-time or flexible hours, working from home and job-sharing. It’s a good idea to discuss these options with your employer as early as you can, perhaps even before baby arrives.Going back to workMany parents enjoy going back to work. It can help you reconnect with people and activities outside home, and add variety to your daily routines.When it comes to your work arrangements, try to look at all your options and find what works for you. It doesn’t matter what your friends or people on TV do – choose the option that’s best for your family. Once you’ve looked into arrangements at work, it’s worth getting started with child care – for example, looking into child care types and child care costs. It might be a while off, but it’s worth considering the main issues, because most centres have waiting lists. When will you need child care? Is it available locally? Does it make sense financially?Organising things at workTry to find out early what family-friendly policies your employer has in place. What options are included in your workplace agreement?Some things covered by workplace agreements include the following:pregnancy at work – there might be flexibility for women who are preparing to give birthworking from home (or telecommuting) some or all of the time. If you have the kind of job where you work on a computer and can keep in contact with the office by email, this can be a great way of working. Of course, if you drive a crane or work on a supermarket checkout, it’s not an optionjob-sharing with a similarly qualified and capable employee. Perhaps you know of someone who would consider doing this with you?regular part-time workparental leave – check what arrangements your workplace has for parental leave. Australia introduced a paid parental leave scheme from 1 January 2011. You might like to check with the Family Assistance Office to see whether you’re eligiblework-based arrangements for child care, or even a child care facility connected with your workplacebreastfeeding in the workplacecarers leave – this is days allowed for employees to care for a sick child or loved oneflexible work hours – for example, you might be able to arrive late and work late or vice versa, or work longer hours for four days rather than five days of the week.Here are some ideas to make the first few months back at work easier:Can you ask for flexible start and finish times?Can you organise to work part-time for the first week or two after going back to work?What about meetings and other commitments outside of normal working hours? Can you set limits on working out of hours?If you want to breastfeed while working, what are your employer’s policies and facilities?Do your workmates or friends know of any local child care and school holiday care options?Would it make sense to change shifts to a time when your partner can be at home to care for your child?Talking to your bossYou might feel a bit nervous about asking your boss for flexible arrangements. Here are a few ideas to help you out:Think about exactly what it is you want. Then think about it from your manager’s point of view – does it seem practical? Try to come up with some reasons your suggestion is good for the business as well as for you. Consider any problems your boss might have with your idea, and try to think of solutions.If other people at your work have flexible arrangements, talk with them about how it’s working and what they proposed to their boss. If their arrangements are working out well, you could talk to their boss about the best ways to approach your manager.If you’re a member of a union, your union might have suggestions for you.Try to approach negotiations calmly. If you’re very nervous or think you might get defensive or angry, think about writing to your manager instead of arranging a meeting.Ask for a little more than you want. Leave yourself space to be negotiated down.Changes to work and family lifeThe workplace has changed a lot in the last 20 years. These changes include longer working hours, more women with children in the workplace, more men taking part in child care at home, a rise in part-time and casual jobs, huge leaps in technology (especially communications), and an ageing workforce.The modern family has evolved too. There are more single-parent families, separated families and dual-income families. Child care options are becoming more and more expensive.Lots of options, lots of things to think about.Rightdid you knowAround two-thirds of mums with teenage children are in paid work.In about 5% of couple families, mum is the sole breadwinner.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesBurgess, J., & Strachan, G. (2005). Integrating work and family responsibilities: Policies for lifting women’s labour activity rates. Just Policy, 35, 5-12.  01/03/201101/09/201210/08/201121111Working with carers and teachersWorking with child carers and teachersWorking with carersChild care - relationships with carersSchool - relationships with teachers000A guide for parents to developing relationships with child care providers, carers at child care and preschool and teachers. Also includes information on getting involved at child care, preschool or school.00-100-30Getting involved in your child’s life at school or care is good for parents and for children.Why get involved?Parental involvement is good for children. Parents are the main influence on the social, emotional and intellectual development of children. The more involvement they have, the better children do. Children also settle better into child care or school when their parents are involved. They watch and learn positive skills by watching grown-ups communicate well. And children enjoy it when their parents take an interest in their lives – it makes them feel valued and important.Parental involvement is good for parents. Getting involved gives parents a chance to influence programs and discuss their child’s interests. Being involved will make you feel more comfortable about raising concerns and working out solutions with staff. Knowing what’s going on and that your opinion is important can really help. And positive partnerships with staff can relieve your stress.If problems come up, spending more time communicating with your child’s teachers or carers can make it easier for you to solve them. It can also help your child feel comfortable and learn more.How to get involvedFind out how the school or centre is run. If the staff don’t give you information to read, you can ask for it.Attend the school or centre to get involved in activities or just to watch what’s going on. For example, you could go to ‘get to know you’ sessions and meetings.Help prepare materials or activities, or send in materials if the school or centre asks for them.Talk to staff about the school or centre, including positives as well as any concerns you might have. Telling staff when you like things helps them work out what to plan again. Also, we all like to know when we’ve done a job well.Talk to your child about their day. For example, ‘What outdoor games did you play today?’, ‘What did you have for afternoon tea?’ or ‘Did you enjoy helping some of the younger children?’Ask staff how you can prepare your child for school or child care. Are there particular tasks your child needs to be able to do or rules she needs to be aware of and follow?You’re most familiar with how your child copes with new situations. It’s OK to give the staff some suggestions if you think it might be helpful.How to develop partnerships with staffLearn the names of staff and what they do.Find out when and how staff prefer you to visit or be involved.Let staff know how you prefer to communicate with them (face to face, telephone, communication book, a good time to call and any special communication needs you have, such as an interpreter). Staff might ask you to help them develop an agreement about the best ways to communicate with your family. Tell staff what you need. For example, let them know your child’s food preferences, any special needs your child has, and the language(s) you speak. It’s especially important to talk to staff when there’s a change in your circumstances at home. If your child has specific medical, behaviour or learning needs, make sure staff are aware of how these might affect your child, and of any strategies being used at home.Get involved in committees, or offer to help by doing something at home.Tell staff about your child’s hobbies and interests.Talk to the staff (at least say ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’) as you arrive and leave.Keep up regular communication. It helps make it easier to talk to staff when you have a concern.Find flexible ways of communicating if face to face is difficult. For example, telephone, written notes, or ‘I have a comment’ forms.If you have other ideas about working in partnerships or making the program more family-friendly, let the staff know.When something is worrying youSometimes there are problems you want to discuss with staff. Sometimes the child care centre or school will have concerns that they want to raise with you. If you already have a positive relationship with centre staff, these issues will be easier to raise and quicker to sort out.When trying to solve a problem, things might run more smoothly if you try the following:Focus on what’s best for your child.For major concerns, arrange an appointment to speak privately. This might be on the phone or face to face. Tackle problems early, as things often get worse and are more difficult to sort out later.Plan what you want to say ahead of time, and try to speak calmly.Explain your concerns clearly, without blaming the staff or other people.Give examples to help the other person understand you more easily.Use ‘I’ statements, such as ‘I felt embarrassed when other parents found out my child hit their child’.Make some suggestions for what might help solve the problem. Ask staff what ideas they have. If it’s a big issue, you might have to give each other time to go away and think about the situation and talk again in a day or two.Together, work out the pros and cons of each possible solution, then come up with one you can both agree to try. The solution might not be perfect, but if you can agree to try it out, you’re already halfway towards success.Make sure you’re both clear on what you, the staff person and, if necessary, your child need to do to try this solution.If the problem still can’t be resolved, think about what’s in the best interests of your child. You might agree to disagree with each other, or ask the staff person what the next step in handling grievances is. It might have to go to a committee of management, the school council or to the coordinator.Review progress towards sorting out the issue. When things have been sorted out, remember to let the staff person know.All families experience difficulties at some time. If you’re having trouble, consider asking the staff at your child’s program for information or referral to someone who can help.Rightdid you knowChildren perform better at school when their parents get involved in their school life.Video TranscriptsRelated articles29/04/201129/04/201309/08/2011181111BabysittersBabysitting, child care and babysittersBabysittersBabysitters000A guide to babysitting as a child care option, finding a babysitter, looking for a babysitter, and preparing the babysitter and your child for the babysitting arrangement.00-100-30All parents need breaks from parenting and time to do their own thing. Babysitters can help with this, but you want to feel confident you’re leaving your child with someone you can trust. It’s also important to prepare the babysitter and your child for the babysitting arrangement.Finding a babysitterWhat to look for in a babysitterPreparing for a babysitterPreparing your childConcerns about your babysitterWorking with children checksFinding a babysitterIf you decide that hiring a babysitter is a child care option that suits your family, it’s important to choose the right person for the role. If you don’t have a close and trusted family member or friend who can babysit your child, you could think about the following options: Ask parents from playgroup or kinder, friends or your child health nurse if they know of a good babysitter – this might be someone they’ve used and have been happy with in the past.If your child attends formal child care, ask your child’s carers if they’re interested in babysitting after hours.Babysitters often advertise on noticeboards at child care centres, local schools, community centres, universities, libraries or local shops. You could also look in your local newspaper. If you don’t know the babysitter, check experience and references carefully. If the babysitter doesn’t offer you references, make sure you ask for some.Babysitting agencies You can find formal babysitting agencies in the Yellow Pages or on the internet. Other parents might also be able to recommend one.Agencies can provide experienced babysitters, often at short notice. A possible drawback is that you might not have a chance to find out if the babysitter is the right fit for your family before the sitter arrives to care for your child.Agencies conduct police checks to find out whether potential employees have any prior convictions recorded against them. They also ensure the people on their books are of good character via reference checks.In some states or territories, babysitters employed by agencies are required to have a Working with Children Check card. To find out more about police checks and Working with Children Checks, see the state-based table at the end of this article.Your friends or parents of your child’s friends can make great babysitters. You can set up these sorts of babysitting arrangements in various ways. For example, you can pay a standard rate or try a babysitting swap, where you take turns to babysit for each other. You can also join or set up a babysitting club with other parents.What to look for in a babysitterA good babysitter is someone you can trust with your child, and someone you and your child get along with. You might want to check that the babysitter has experience caring for children the same age as your child. References and recommendations will help you choose someone with an experienced track record in caring for children.You also need to consider practical issues, such as availability. If Saturday nights are when you often need a babysitter, there’s probably no point asking your friend’s teenage child to do the job. Likewise, if you usually need someone at short notice, a busy aunt or uncle probably isn’t your best bet.Above all, your child will be the best judge of whether the sitter is someone who fits well with your family.Babies, young children and older children all need different styles of care. For carers employed to look after babies, experience in the care of a baby is vital. Generally, the younger your child is, the more experienced the carer should be. If your carer is under 18, you might be legally responsible for the carer as well as your own child if something goes wrong.Preparing for a babysitterIt’s a good idea to take the time to introduce the babysitter to your house and family. You should also provide the sitter with all necessary information to take good care of your child. The following checklist might help you get started.Show the babysitter around the house. Explain door keys and locks, heating and cooling systems, and where the telephone is.Tell the babysitter where you’re going and when you’ll be back, and leave a contact phone number (preferably a mobile).Give the sitter information about giving your child medicine, if necessary. Also let the sitter know about any other medical issues, such as your child’s asthma plan.Explain any food allergies or intolerances, or any food not allowed.Explain the daily or evening routines for your child, particularly those for meals, rest times and bedtime.Provide the babysitter with some information about managing behaviour, such as what to do if your child refuses to go to bed. Explain what to do if your child becomes upset or wakes up after going to sleep.Explain the rules of the house that might apply to your child, such as eating only at the table, or no TV after 6 pm.Explain rules about your home and possessions that might apply to your sitter, such as no eating on the lounge, no smoking in the house, and no drinking alcohol.Say if you don’t want the sitter to carry out certain activities, such as bathing your child or going out in the car.Leave out a blanket, pillow and snacks for the sitter, as well as instructions for the TV and DVD.Safety You might also want to talk through safety rules, particularly if you’d like the babysitter to be responsible for activities such as bathing your child.Bath times: the sitter should first make sure the bath water is a safe temperature, then stay with your child at all times. Read our article on bath safety for more information.Mealtimes: the sitter should supervise your child in the kitchen, and while your child is eating. Hot drinks should be kept well out of reach.Bedtimes: the sitter should know and follow the rules for safe sleeping.Toddlers: the sitter will need to be able to keep up with your child’s energy and speed. You should also let the sitter know to keep a constant eye out for the toddler tendency to put interesting objects into nostrils and ears.Transport: if the sitter will be using your pram, explain how to open and use it. If driving your car is allowed, ensure the sitter follows your rules about car safety. If the car is the babysitter’s own, check there’s a seat suitable for your child.Ovens and stove tops: if you’re allowing use of the oven or stove top, provide instructions on how to use them properly.In case of emergency: have the 000 emergency number clearly displayed, as well as phone numbers for the local doctor and poisons information. Also show the babysitter where you keep your first aid kit, fire extinguisher or fire blankets.Preparing your childEven children who are used to spending time away from you can make a fuss if you’re going out and leaving them with a babysitter. Try these tips:Give advance notice. On the day the babysitter is coming, let your child know that someone else will be looking after him, and for how long.Prepare some special activities or food. If time with the babysitter includes something special, it can help make the event something your child can look forward to.Let your child play host. An older child can benefit from helping to show the babysitter around – she could show how to work the TV, or even explain some house rules.Give your child something to show. Children as young as three can benefit from having something special or important – such as a doll, a drawing or a favourite photograph – to show their babysitter. It can be the start of a game or a conversation that will ease the first few moments.Always say goodbye to your child. It can be tempting to sneak out if the babysitter has your child distracted with a game, but your child might get upset once he notices you’re gone. Let your child know what time you’ll be home, and ring the sitter if you’re going to be late. Sometimes a child can be reassured if you say you’ll come in for a kiss goodnight, even if he’ll be asleep by then.Concerns about your babysitterIf you have concerns about the babysitter’s behaviour, you have a few options.You can express your concerns and clarify your expectations about the behaviour, or you can tell the babysitter you won’t be using him or her again.If you suspect behaviour that’s in any way damaging to your child – excessive yelling, hitting or other physical abuse – you have every right to ask the babysitter to leave immediately. You should also report your experience to any agency, centre or person who recommended the babysitter. Finally, consider whether the situation should be reported to the police.Even if you don’t have any concerns, it’s always a good idea to watch for your child’s reaction to the babysitter. If your child’s old enough, talk about the babysitting experience with her.Working with children checksStateOrganisationNSWWorking with Children CheckQLDPolice checkBlue cardSAPolice checkTASPolice checkVICPolice checkWorking with Children CheckWAWorking with Children CheckRightdid you knowOf all the Australian children who received child care in 2008, 29% regularly received an informal form of care, such as babysitting.A high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2008, Reissued). Childhood education and care, Australia (Cat no. 4402.0). Retrieved December 6, 2010, from http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/DetailsPage/4402.0June%202008%20(Reissue)?OpenDocument.29/04/201129/04/201308/08/2011140961111NanniesNannies and how to find a nannyNanniesNannies000A guide to looking for a nanny, finding a nanny, employing nannies as a child care option, and preparing the nanny and your child for the child care arrangements.00-100-30Nannies are professional carers who often have formal training in working with children. When looking for a nanny, you should consider experience, qualifications and ‘fit’ with your family. If employing a nanny, you will probably need to formalise the nanny’s employment conditions.Finding a nannyIf you decide that hiring a nanny is a child care option that suits your family, it’s important to choose the right person. You could start by asking other parents, your friends or your child health nurse if they know someone suitable.Nannies often advertise on noticeboards at child care centres, local schools, community centres, universities, libraries or local shops. You could also try looking in your local newspaper.Formal employment agencies for nannies can be found in the Yellow Pages and on the internet. Also, a fellow parent might be able to recommend a nanny. Agencies conduct police checks and make sure the people on their books are of good character via reference checks.In some states or territories, nannies employed by agencies are required to have a Working with Children Check card.Nanny sharingThis is when two families share the one nanny. It’s a child care option that’s growing in popularity. If you’re interested, ask families who use nannies for recommendations, contact an agency or search for nanny-sharing organisations online. You might already know a family interested in sharing with you. Otherwise, some agencies will help link families.Before contacting an agency, consider:the number of children you would want a nanny to care for in totalthe number of children one nanny can transport in a car (if you wish the nanny to transport your children)whether you prefer the other children to be around the same age as your childrenwhere the care would take place – at your house, the other family’s house or a combination of the twohow closely located the families need to bewhat days you will require the nanny.Some parents find that employing a nanny is a more flexible arrangement than formal child care. Children can be cared for in their own home. It can also be economical if you have more than one child.Choosing a nannyWhen choosing a nanny, you might want to consider the following issues.Availability and other practical issues: try to be clear about what the nanny’s living arrangements and weekly schedule will be. Do you want the nanny to live in or live out? If live in, are you able to give the nanny a room to himself or herself? Will the nanny need to use public transport? Will your nanny need a driver’s licence to take your child to activities outside the home (classes, preschool or play group)? If so, whose car will the nanny use?Experience: how long has the nanny worked in child care? In what kinds of situations? Has the nanny worked with other children the same age as yours? If you have a large family, you might want to know how many children the nanny has worked with at the one time.Rapport with children: how does the nanny interact with your child? Many agencies provide a nanny on a trial basis first. This allows you to assess how the nanny gets on with your children before you make long-term employment arrangements.Qualifications: all nannies should have a current first aid certificate. You might also want a nanny to have qualifications in child care or teaching.Payment: the rate of pay for a nanny varies, depending on the person’s qualifications and experience. Generally, nannies are paid a higher rate than babysitters. These rates start from around $20 an hour. Other parents can give you an idea of the going rate for nannies, or you can call an agency for a quote.References: you need to trust your nanny. Ensure that your nanny supplies references. Make sure you check them thoroughly.Employing a nannyGenerally, nannies work longer and more regular hours than babysitters – around 20-40 hours a week.It might help you and your nanny if you write a job description. It should list everything you want the nanny to do, as well as the conditions of employment. These might include:normal hours of workovertimesuperannuationrequirements for the nanny to do any additional domestic worka timetable to guide the nanny’s time with the children, incorporating naps, walks, play, reading, television (if allowed) and so on.A clear statement of expectations can help resolve any future disputes.As with any employment situation, a nanny who is working with you on a regular basis will need an employment contract. The employment contract needs to be clear about:live-in or live-out arrangementssalaryconditions of employment, such as holidays and sick leave. Be particularly clear about working hours and time-off arrangements if the nanny is going to be living with you. Remember that you will need a back-up care plan if your nanny gets sickweekly scheduletransport arrangements – for example, whether the nanny is expected to use public transport or is allowed to use your family carreimbursement of expensesthe behaviour you expect from your nanny. Clarify what behaviour is and is not OK by including a Code of Conduct. A contract and performance review, as well as a confidentiality agreement, might also be worth considering.Nannies must be paid at or above the minimum wage set out in any relevant state award. Call the Australian Government Workplace Info line on 1300 363 264 for assistance in looking up the relevant award for your state.Other considerationsIncome tax: to find out about paying income tax for your nanny, visit the Australian Taxation Office.Childcare rebate: nannies can become ‘Registered Care Providers’ (RCPs) or ‘approved carers’ if they meet certain criteria. This means that parents can claim the child care rebate. In order to become a RCP, a person must complete an application, which can be obtained by calling the Family Assistance Office on 13 6150.Superannuation: you will have to pay superannuation if your nanny is working more than 30 hours a week, either looking after children, cooking or cleaning. You can find out more at ATO Superannuation.Insurance: think about taking out public liability insurance to cover accidents. You might already have some cover if you have a home and contents insurance policy. Under workers compensation legislation, you might also be required to organise domestic workers compensation insurance for your nanny. Contact WorkCover in your state for further information.Background checks: if you are organising employment of a nanny yourself, some states will allow you to request a police check from a local police station for a fee. A Working with Children Check is mandatory for certain occupations and must be held by a nanny if required by law in your state or territory. To find out more about police checks or Working with Children checks, follow the state-based links below.Working with children checksStateOrganisationNSWWorking with Children CheckQLDPolice checkBlue cardSAPolice checkTASPolice checkVICPolice checkWorking with Children CheckWAWorking with Children CheckRightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesChoice (2006). Finding a Nanny. Australian Consumers' Association. Retrieved July 24, 2009, from http://www.choiceextra.com.au/images/pdfs/0605nannyagencies.pdfCareforKids.com.au. What are your obligations when you employ a nanny?. Retrieved July 24, 2009, from http://www.careforkids.com.au/articlesv2/article.asp?ID=40Australian Institute of Family Studies (2009). Family Facts and Figures – Child Care. Retrieved July 24, 2009, from http://www.aifs.gov.au/institute/info/charts/childcare/01/03/201101/09/201209/08/2011160961111Settling your child into careSettling into careChild care - settling in000Helpful ideas and suggestions for parents preparing to settle their child into care.00-100-30Beginning child care can be both an exciting and emotional time for families. Children and parents often experience some anxiety about going to child care for the first time, but there’s a lot you can do to make it easier for your child and yourself.Factors affecting how children settle  Separation and stranger anxiety  Your feelings  Preparing for a new care environment  Tips for saying goodbye  My child isn’t settling  Questions to ask carers  Settling a child with a disability  Factors affecting how children settleChildren have different experiences of settling into child care. The way they settle can be affected by:temperament, which will affect the way they respond to any sort of change, including a new care setting personal preferences, such as how they like to be fed, how they like to be comforted and soothed, and how they ask for and accept affection age and stage of development – for example, babies (less than six months) are often happy to be left with carers because they haven’t yet developed separation and stranger anxiety number of days in care – for example, a child who attends care one day a week will often take longer to settle than a child who attends five days a week. This is simply because children attending fewer days a week have less time to become familiar with and comfortable in their new setting. According to research, it’s best to concentrate on the quality of care you choose for your child, and how well this care fits in with your family values and interests. Quality is about relationships, and a quality care centre is one with strong staff–child relationships and excellent communication with parents. You might like to read more about how good child care helps kids.Separation and stranger anxietySeparation anxiety (baby gets upset when you leave him) and stranger anxiety (baby gets upset around other people) are a normal part of development. Almost all babies and children go through them to some extent. They usually start at around six months and peak at 12 months, though older children can also experience separation anxiety.Around six months, babies develop an understanding of object permanence. This means your baby understands that you exist, even when you’re not with her. Unfortunately she doesn’t understand that you’ll be back if you leave her, so she might initially get upset when you go. This generally passes once she learns, through experience, that you’ll come back.This is all going on just as many parents are thinking about going back to work and leaving their child in care. It’s not your fault – it’s just how babies develop.Try not to worry – children usually adjust as the new faces in their care setting become familiar. You can help your child overcome these anxieties by spending some time together in the new care setting, before you start leaving your child there without you. If you can, try leaving your child for just short periods, and build up to a whole day. This will help teach your child the concepts of leaving and returning.Your feelingsBeginning child care is a major transition and can be both an exciting and emotional time for families – both children and parents. Although it’s difficult, it’s important for you to be positive with your child about the experience. Children have an amazing ability to pick up on when their parents are worried or anxious, so try not to share your worries or anxious feelings with your child. This doesn’t mean you can’t show your feelings though – you might like to share them with your partner, a friend or a family member who can give you some support during this emotional time. Preparing for a new care environmentPreparing children for their first day in care will help them settle more easily. Here are some ideas for the weeks leading up to your child’s first day:Ask the care setting for a copy of its daily schedule and incorporate it into your child’s routine. Try to synchronise lunch, play and nap times so your child needs less time to adjust when care starts. Read picture books with your child about starting care. Make up stories you can share with your child about the experience. It’s good to include all the feelings and experiences your child might go through (happiness, fun, friendship, sadness, anxiety, apprehension and tiredness). Familiarise yourself and your child with the new care environment and carers by making short visits together to the setting. Your child will get used to the new smells, toys, sounds, faces and voices during this time. Gently encourage your child to play with the toys and do some activities while you’re there. Have positive conversations with your child about the new environment, friends, carers and activities. The night beforeTry to ensure your child eats a healthy dinner and has a good night’s sleep. Pack all the things your child needs, including bottles, formula, nappies, hat, spare clothes, food (unless provided by the centre), medicines and medical record. Packing special comfort items – such as cuddly toys, blankets or books, or a family picture – is also a good idea.Ensure all items that will be taken to the centre (including bottles, comfort items and clothing) are labelled with your child’s name. Let the staff know if your child doesn’t sleep well the night before starting care (or for the first few nights), because this can impact on your child’s day at the care setting. The first few weeksIf possible, ease your child gradually into the new care program. Stay with your child for a while for the first few days. You can help your child through the transition by reading a book together, playing peekaboo or watching your child engage in activities or play with new friends. Gradually increase the time you spend away from your child (whether in another room or outside the care setting). If your child’s still breastfeeding, you might want to consider visiting the centre during the day to give your child a feed. Many centres encourage breastfeeding mothers to visit, and it might help your child settle into care. Introduce your child to one primary caregiver every time you visit the setting, so your child can start to form a new attachment. Having a key carer is especially important for babies – they’re social beings and crave close attachments in their care settings. Always be there to hug, kiss and say goodbye to your child. If your child’s generally happy to go to her care setting, shows you things she’s made there and talks excitedly about her day (if she’s talking), chances are she’s settled in well and is enjoying her new environment. Your next challenge might be getting her to come home!Tips for saying goodbyeDespite your best preparations, your child might still find it difficult to separate from you. He might get upset and start crying. You can help by acknowledging your child’s feelings, giving him words to help express himself, and comforting him. You could also try the following tips:Talk about an activity you and your child will do together when you get back home, such as playing in the garden or reading a story. Establish a goodbye routine, such as three kisses and a bear hug, high-fives or some other special gesture meaningful to your child. Let your child know that you or another familiar grown-up will be back to pick her up at a particular time, or after an event that your child understands, such as sleep or snack time. Keep the goodbye brief. After your goodbye routine, gently but firmly say goodbye to your child. Staying around to comfort your upset child can sometimes prolong distress and even make it worse.  Allow your child’s carer to gently lead him away to do something he enjoys, such as feeding the fish or watering the garden. If you’re feeling distressed after seeing your child upset, call the centre about half an hour after you leave to see how your child is. Most children stop crying shortly after mum or dad goes.If your child’s distracted when it’s time for you to leave, you might feel tempted to sneak out without her noticing. This can make children more upset. They realise you’ve gone and haven’t had a chance to say goodbye. It’s best to let your child know you’re going and say that you’ll be back later.My child isn’t settlingYour child might settle happily in his new setting within a few days or few weeks. Some children keep getting upset after the first few weeks. Others might settle initially and then later get upset (often when the novelty of the new environment has worn off).In all cases, stay calm and let your child express her feelings. Listen to what your child’s saying. Is she showing signs of separation anxiety? If so, it’s worth sticking with it for a little while, to give your child time to adjust. It’s also important to communicate with the centre’s staff – you can work together to develop settling strategies that you and the staff are comfortable with. The centre’s group leader should be able to suggest some ideas that have helped other children in the past. As difficult as it might be, try to stay positive about your child’s transition to care.Sometimes, it might be that the care setting just isn’t right for your child. For example, he might seem afraid of the care setting or a carer, or be going backward in his development. You might want to consider finding a different centre, or a different type of child care.If you’re unsure about why your child’s unsettled and you think the problem might be more than just the child care experience, you might want to seek professional help. Speaking with your maternal and child health nurse is a good place to start.Questions to ask carersTo monitor how your child’s settling into her new care setting, you can ask carers questions about:how your child’s progress will be recorded and how the carers will let you know about her progresswhether it’s OK for you to call during the day to check that your child has settled – this is really important for your peace of mind during the first few weeks, and most care settings will welcome these calls how your child slept during the day and what she ate how she seems to be feeling and whether she’s getting on with the other children what activities your child likes (so you can continue these with her at home). Settling a child with a disabilityChildren with special needs or disabilities attach to their parents just as other children do. But some can find it more difficult to express their feelings. The following ideas might help your child with a disability settle more easily:Advise the care setting of your child’s disability or special needs on the waiting list form. If the diagnosis emerges later, let the service know when an offer of enrolment is made. This allows the service to prepare for your child with as much time as possible, including making specialist equipment available and training staff. Take more time to make sure your child is familiar and comfortable with his new setting. Any information you can provide to staff about your child’s particular needs and abilities will help staff ease your child’s transition to care. Establish a detailed communication book to share information between home and the care setting. Discuss your expectations about your child’s behaviour with her carer. Tell the carer about which activities your child can participate in if he has an intellectual or physical disability, and suggest alternative activities you do together at home. Many care settings provide for children who need additional assistance with communication, language and literacy skills by using alternative communication methods, signs, symbols, large print, symbol text and materials that can be accessed through sight, touch, sound and smell. You might want to consider a different care setting if the centre you’ve chosen doesn’t provide this assistance.Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesBalaban, N. (2006). Easing the separation process for infants, toddlers and families. Young Children, 61. Retrieved December 6, 2011, from http://www.naeyc.org/files/yc/file/200611/BTJBalaban.pdf.Balaban, N., Brodkin, A.M., David, J., Drucker, J., Feder-Feitel, L., & Greenberg P. (2002). A great start to school. Scholastic Parent & Child, 10, 40-45.Brodkin, A.M. (2006). Don’t leave me here. Early Childhood Today, 21, 19-20.Egle, C. (2004). A practical guide to working with children. Croydon, Australia: Tertiary Press.Eisen, A.R., & Schaefer, C.E. (2005). Separation anxiety in children and adolescents: An individualised approach to assessment and treatment. New York: The Guilford Press.Gray, H. (2004). ‘You go away and you come back’: Supporting separations and reunions in an infant/toddler classroom. Young Children, 59(5), 100-107.Honig, A.S. (2007). What makes children anxious. Early Childhood Today. 21, 23-24.Honig, A.S. & Honig, A.S. (2002). Easing babies’ transitions. Scholastic Parent and Child, 10, 21-21.Kay, J. (2004). A Practical Guide: Good practice in the Early Years. (2nd Ed.). Continuum: London.Nutbrown, C. (2006). Key Concepts in Early Childhood Education and Care. Sage Publications: London. Rolfe, S.A. (2003). Relationships with babies and toddlers in child care and their current and future well-being: Inspirations from attachment theory. Paper presented at the Our Children The Future (3) conference, Adelaide.06/12/201101/09/201206/12/2011100361111Home-based child careChild care in your home, informal careHome-based careChild care – in your own home000An outline of things to consider when thinking about home-based child care, child care in your own home and informal child care, or when looking for a home-based child carer, such as a nanny or a babysitter. Includes information on how to find nannies and babysitters.00-100-30Home-based or informal child care means directly employing someone to look after your child, usually in your own home. Options include babysitters and nannies. Here are some things to think about when you’re looking at home-based child care arrangements.What is home-based child care?Finding the right carerEstablishing house rulesConcerns about carer behaviourWhat is home-based child care?Home-based or informal child care is when you directly employ someone to look after your child, usually in your own home. The main options for home-based child care are babysitters and nannies.Babysitters look after children every now and then, and usually only for a little while. For example, they might look after your child for several hours during the day or evening while you go out. Some babysitters have completed training in looking after children, but not all have. Read more about babysitters.Nannies usually work longer and more regular hours – generally 20-40 hours a week. As well as looking after children, a nanny might cook or clean for you. Nannies often have formal training in working with children. Read more about nannies.To find a babysitter, try asking friends, family or people in your local neighbourhood, or using an agency. Finding a nanny might involve going to an agency or asking other parents for recommendations.Finding the right carerWhether you’re looking for a full-time, live-in carer or an occasional babysitter, you need to be sure that:your child will be safe in that person’s careyou and your child will get along with the carerthere’s a good fit between the carer and your family’s budget, values, routines and rules.Even if you know your carer, or the carer comes highly recommended, you might consider the following.AvailabilityThink about when you might need a carer. If you need regular help and/or live-in assistance, you’ll need someone with full-time availability. If you require only occasional assistance, you’ll need someone with flexible availability. Alternatively, you could consider using a babysitting agency.CostAlways agree on costs with the carer before any child care takes place. Check with other parents for an idea of the going rate for babysitters and nannies. You could also ask an agency for their rates. In fact, it can be a good idea to ask an agency for standard rates before you start your own selection process.You might need to adjust costs depending on your carer’s qualifications and experience. For example, a nanny with credible qualifications and a lot of experience will charge a higher rate than an occasional teenage babysitter.Experience and references Look for some background information about your carer, including references. Find out:whether you know anyone who has employed the carer previously and what their experience has beenwhether the carer has experience with children the same age as your childrenwhether the carer has looked after children without help before, and how many children the carer has looked after at the one timehow many years of experience the carer has.Ensure that you carefully check any references provided by the carer. If the carer doesn’t offer references, ask for them. You might want a nanny with child care or teaching qualifications, but be prepared to pay a higher rate for this. In some states or territories, nannies or babysitters employed through agencies will be required to have a Working with Children Check card.Other qualificationsYou might prefer to employ someone with a first aid or CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) certification. You might also need your carer to have a current driver licence. A nanny who has wider responsibilities, such as cooking and cleaning, would need to demonstrate some experience or expertise in these areas. Personal fitTrust your instincts, but also try to find the right fit for your family. For example, if you want someone who’s going to follow your rules in relation to bedtimes, food and discipline, a loving aunt who likes to spoil your children might not be the best choice.Your childYour child will be a good judge of whether the carer will work out for you. If you can, introduce your child to the carer before the child care takes place. When hiring a full-time nanny, this step is essential. It’s a good sign if the carer can communicate well with your child at the child’s level. The carer should also be able to understand your child’s needs, whether it’s comfort for a baby or conversation for a two-year-old.You can watch for your child’s reaction to the carer before, during and after a care session. Note whether your child appears happy or withdrawn, or is just acting normally. Talk to your child after the carer has gone about how your child found the care session.Babies, young children and older children all need different styles of care. For carers employed to look after babies, experience in the care of a baby is vital. Generally, the younger your child is, the more experienced the carer should be. If your carer is under 18, you might be legally responsible for the carer as well as your own child if something goes wrong.Establishing house rulesYour carer and your child both need to know what house rules apply when you’re out. Your normal house rules might still apply, or you might relax them to help make a babysitter’s visit special or establish a special relationship with a nanny. Either way, give your carer clear instructions about the rules and what you expect. Here are some suggestions.RoutinesLet the carer know what you expect about food, bedtime and television (for your child). The carer will also find it helpful if you outline how you normally manage your child’s behaviour and handle conflict (for example, when sibling fights get out of hand).Bending the rulesTo make the child care time special, you could bend your usual rules. For example, your child might be allowed to stay up an extra half-hour before bedtime, have an ice-cream during an outing, or play a special game.Smoking and drinking alcoholSmoking is harmful for children so it’s best to consider a non-smoking carer. Even if the carer smokes outside, smoke particles cling to clothes and can be brought inside. Also, make it clear to your carer that no alcohol or other drugs are to be consumed while the carer is looking after your child.Your home and possessionsFor example, if you prefer people to eat and drink only at the table or in the kitchen, say so or write it on a checklist.Safety It’s important to know your child will be safe, happy and well looked after when you’re not at home. You might decide you don’t want the carer to be responsible for riskier activities such as bathing your children or driving them around in a car. If the carer will be responsible for all activities, you could consider introducing the following safety topics and rules:Bath times: the carer should stay with your child at all times and make sure the bath water is a safe temperature. Read our article on bath safety for more information.Mealtimes: children should be supervised in the kitchen and while eating. Hot drinks should be kept well out of reach.Bedtimes: the carer should know and follow the rules for safe sleeping.Toddlers: the carer will need to be able to keep up with your child’s energy and speed. Also let the carer know to keep a constant eye out for the toddler tendency to put interesting objects into nostrils and ears.Transport: if the carer will be using your pram, tell the carer how to open and use it. If driving your children is allowed, ensure the carer follows your rules about car safety.Ovens and stove tops: if you’re allowing use of the oven or stove top, provide instructions on how to use them properly.Health issues: give the carer information about giving your child medicine if required. Also let the carer know about any other medical issues, such as your child’s asthma plan.In case of emergency: have the 000 emergency number clearly displayed, as well as phone numbers for the local doctor and poisons information. Show the carer where you keep your first aid kit, fire extinguisher or fire blankets.Concerns about carer behaviourIf you have concerns about the carer’s behaviour, you have a few options. You can either express your concerns and clarify your expectations about the behaviour, or tell the person you won’t be using him or her again.For example, you might find out that your carer is:doing things you don’t want your child to see or hear, like swearing or downloading inappropriate material from the internetbreaking your house rules or causing an expense, like making long-distance phone calls without your knowledge.If you suspect behaviour that’s in any way damaging to your child – yelling, hitting or any kind of physical abuse – you have every right to ask the carer to leave immediately. You should also report your experience to any agency, centre or person who recommended the carer. Consider whether the situation should be reported to the police.Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articles29/04/201129/04/201309/08/2011120961111yes00New South Wales servicesNSW servicesNSW servicesServices - NSW000A guide to parenting support services in New South Wales0Green0-100-30Have you just had a new baby?Are you finding parenting harder than you thought?Do you need to find care for your child?Want help finding playgroups?Is your child ready for preschool?Are things worrying you at home and you want someone to talk to?Does someone in your family have special needs?Are you looking for parenting services in your state?Have you just had a new baby? These services may help:Parentline Parentline is a confidential telephone advice and information service for parents of children living in NSW.  Trained professional counsellors with experience in helping families will listen and give support and assistance, and provide information on relevant issues and services. 1300 1300 052 24 hours, 7 daysEarly Childhood Health Centres These centres have child and family health nurses who can check your baby’s health.  If you have any concerns about your baby, your small child, yourself or your family, these nurses can help.  You can find centre locations listed in the phone book under Early Childhood Centres.Are you finding parenting harder than you thought? These services may help:KaritaneKaritane provides support, guidance and information to families experiencing parenting difficulties, to health professionals and to the community.  Karitane offer a careline a volunteer home visiting program, a residential facility and a number of education services.1300 227 464 (1300 'CARING') 24 hours, Monday – Thursday 9 am - 9 pm, Friday - Saturday 8 am - 11 pm, – SundayTresillian Family Care CentreA community service, providing positive and practical advice on caring for babies, for both parents and health professionals. Tresillian offer a 24 hour parenting helpline, outreach, day stay and residential programs.(02) 9787 0855 1800 637 357 (freecall) 24 hours, 7 days a week. Do you need to find care for your child? These services may help:Family Day Care Family day care is a quality home-based childcare service that's been actively helping Australian families for over 30 years. Family day care caters for young babies through to pre-teens and can offer care during standard hours, before/after school, during school holidays and, in some circumstances, overnight and weekends. Family Day Care Australia can help you locate a service near you. For further information about the Child Care Benefit and Family Day Care in your area contact:Family Day Care Hotline 1800 621 218 (freecall) 9 am - 5 pm Monday – FridayAlso, you could contact Family Day Care Australia, a national body working on behalf of all members of the Family Day Care Community.Long Day Care Long Day Care provides Centre based quality Child Care, which generally operates for at least 40 hours per week, 48 weeks per year.  Centre based care usually caters for children aged from birth to 5 years and nurtures and encourages all aspects of your child’s development. Childlink can help you locate your nearest centre. For more information about the Child Care Benefit and Centre Based Long Day Care in your area contact: Child Care Access Hotline 1800 670 305 (freecall) 9 am - 8 pm Monday – Friday 1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing or speech impaired)Occasional Care Occasional care is a unique child care service that supports families by providing flexible care for children from birth to school age. Families can access occasional care regularly or irregularly. Occasional care allows the flexibility to leave children in an early childhood learning environment to socialise and interact with other children. Childlink can help you locate your nearest centre. For more information about the Child Care Benefit and Centre Based Long Day Care in your area contactChild Care Access Hotline 1800 670 305 (freecall) 9 am - 8 pm Monday – Friday 1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired)Out of School Hours Care  Provides services to cater for the needs of primary school aged children and their families before school, after school, during non-teaching days and during school holidays. Programs are generally provided within school facilities.   For more information contact your local primary school or the: Child Care Access Hotline 1800 670 305 (freecall) 9 am - 8 pm Monday – Friday 1800 639 327 (TTY Service - Hearing/Speech impaired)Do you want help finding playgroups?Playgroups are a great way for small children to practise the fine art of getting along with others and to try new ways to play.  They’re good for parents too, with lots of support and social contact in a relaxed, welcoming environment. For more information contact Playgroup NSW:(02) 9684 5273 1800 171 882 (freecall) 9 am - 5 pm, Monday - FridayIs your child ready for preschool?A child may be eligible for enrolment in preschool from the beginning of the school year if they turn 4 years on or before the 31st July that year.  Preschool programs focus on learning and socialising skills to help prepare your child for school.  The NSW Education Department can provide information about your local schools or contact:Childcare and Family Infoline (02) 8594 4244 1800 803 820 (freecall) 9 am - 5 pm, Monday - FridayAre things worrying you at home and you want someone to talk to? These services may help:Women’s Information and Referral Service (WIRS) The Women’s Information and Referral Service is a confidential telephone contact point for women seeking up to date and accurate information about organisations and services for women in NSW. 1800 817 227 (freecall) 1800 673 304 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired) 9 am - 5 pm, Monday - FridayRelationships AustraliaRelationships Australia provides a range of support services to couples, individuals and families including relationship counselling, mediation, family violence intervention and support for problem gambling1300 364 277 (cost of a local call)Does someone in your family have special needs?Ageing, Disability and Home Care, Department of Human Services, NSW (ADHC)Ageing, Disability and Home Care, Department of Human Services, NSW, funds programs and services that support families with a child or young person with a disability.  (02) 8270 2000 13 12 44 - Seniors Information Service 8.30 am - 5.30 pm, Monday - FridayNSW Council for Intellectual DisabilityThe NSW Council for Intellectual Disability has a number of fact sheets which provide information about issues that are important to people with an intellectual disability.Find more links to child and parent disability resources.Are you looking for parenting services in your state?Families NSW The Families NSW website provides parents and carers with information on a wide variety of services for families in NSW, and how families can access them, region by region.Infoxchange Service Seeker The Infoxchange Service Seeker contains updated details on government and non-government services and agencies around Australia.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles17/5/200619/1/20101111Queensland servicesQLD servicesQLD servicesServices - QLD000Parent support services in Queensland0Green0-100-30Have you just had a new baby?Are you finding parenting harder than you thought?Do you need to find care for your child?How do I find out about playgroups?Is your child ready for prep?Are things worrying you at home and you want someone to talk to?Does someone in your family have special needs?Are you looking for a directory of parenting services in your state?Have you just had a new baby?The following services might help.Parentline is a confidential telephone counselling service aimed at providing professional counselling and support for parents and anyone caring for children:1300 301 300 (cost of a local call)8 am–10 pm7 days.The Community Child Health Service provides a range of clinics for assessment, education and support for parents/caregivers of children aged 0-12 years. There is also a Child Health Line staffed by Child Health Nurses:13 HEALTH (13 43 25 84)24 hours, 7 days.Are you finding parenting harder than you thought?The following services might help.The Triple P – Positive Parenting Program is a multi-level parenting support program. It aims to prevent severe behavioural, emotional and developmental problems in children by enhancing the knowledge, skills and confidence of parents.Find out more about the locations of Triple P – Positive Parenting Programs in Queensland.The Ellen Barron Early Parenting Centre is a free residential centre that provides a service for families and children from birth to two years who are experiencing parenting issues of a more complex nature. The Centre specialises in providing child and family health information, education, strategies and support in a multi-disciplinary environment. It also helps to link families to resources in their community.Call 1300 366 039.Do you need to find care for your child?The following services might help.Family day care is a quality home-based childcare service that’s been actively helping Australian families for over 30 years. Family day care caters for young babies through to pre-teens and can offer care during standard hours, before/after school, during school holidays and, in some circumstances, overnight and weekends. Family Day Care Australia can help you locate a service near you. For further information about the Child Care Benefit and Family Day Care in your area contact:Family Day Care Hotline1800 621 218 (freecall)9 am-5 pm, Monday–Friday.Long day care provides centre-based quality child care, which generally operates for at least 40 hours per week, 48 weeks per year.  Centre-based care usually caters for children aged from birth-5 years and nurtures and encourages all aspects of your child’s development. The Queensland Government child care services search facility can help you locate local long day care centres. You can also call the Child Care Access Hotline on:1800 670 305 (freecall)9 am-8 pm, Monday–Friday1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired).Occasional care is a unique child care service that supports families by providing flexible care for children from birth to school age. Families can access occasional care regularly or irregularly. Occasional care gives you the flexibility to leave children in an early childhood learning environment to socialise and interact with other children. The Queensland Government child care services search facility can provide more information about the Child Care Benefit and centre-based long day care. You can also call the Child Care Access Hotline on:1800 670 305 (freecall)9 am-8 pm, Monday–Friday1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired.Out of School Hours Care provides services to cater for the needs of primary school-aged children and their families before school, after school, during non-teaching days and during school holidays. Programs are generally provided within school facilities.For more information, contact your local primary school or the Child Care Access Hotline on:1800 670 305 (freecall)9 am - 8 pm, Monday–Friday1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired.How do I find out about playgroups?Playgroups are a great way for small children to practise the fine art of getting along with others and to try new ways to play.  They’re good for parents too, with lots of support and social contact in a relaxed, welcoming environment. For more information contact the Playgroup Association of QLD.Call 1800 171 882 (freecall).Is your child ready for prep?Children born in 2001 were the last group to attend state preschools in 2006. In 2007, Preparatory Year (prep) replaced preschool.Prep gives all young Queenslanders the very best start to school. It helps them make a smooth transition to Year 1 and sets them on the path to lifelong learning.Prep is part of primary schooling and is provided through state schools and accredited non-state schools.Parents considering a pre-prep service for their child should consider the full range of early education and care options available to them. They should place their child’s name on waiting lists if necessary.For general enquiries about preparing for school, call 1300 650 220 (cost of a local call).8.30 am - 5 pm, Monday - Friday.Are things worrying you at home and you want someone to talk to?The following services might help.Women’s Infolink provides a state-wide free and confidential information and referral service about community services and government agencies supporting women:1800 177 577 (freecall)8 am - 6 pm, Monday–Friday.Relationships Australia provides a range of support services to couples, individuals and families. Services include relationship counselling, mediation, family violence intervention and support for problem gamblingCall 1300 364 277 (cost of a local call).Does someone in your family have special needs?Disability Services QLD provides various services for people with a disability their families, carers and service providers. Call:(07) 3224 84441800 177 120 (freecall)TTY: (07) 3869 34718 am - 6 pm, Monday - FridayAre you looking for a directory of parenting services in your state?The Infoxchange Service Seeker contains updated details on government and non-government services and agencies around Australia.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles17/5/200615/11/20101111Australian Capital Territory servicesACT servicesACT servicesServices - ACT000A guide to parent support services in the ACT.0Green0-100-30Have you just had a new baby?Are you finding parenting harder than you thought?Do you need to find care for your child?How do I find out about playgroups?Is your child ready for preschool?Are things worrying you at home and you want someone to talk to?Does someone in your family have special needs?Are you looking for a directory of parenting services in your state?Have you just had a new baby? These services may help:Health Direct Australia Healthdirect Australia is a free 24-hour telephone health triage, information and advice service for residents of the ACT, NSW, the NT, Tasmania, SA and WA.1800 022 222Parentline ACTParentline ACT provides immediate counselling and support over the telephone, face-to-face counselling, and ongoing and after-hours support from trained volunteers.(02) 6287 3833 9 am - 9 pm Monday - Friday (except public holidays)Child Health Clinics Maternal and Child Health nurses provide health checks and immunisation for children and can provide information, support, advice and education for you and your family including feeding, sleep, safety and relationships. For information about your closest service or for appointments and further information contact:(02) 6207 9977 8 am - 5 pm, Monday - Friday (except public holidays)Are you finding parenting harder than you thought? These services may help:ParentLinkParentLink is an ACT Government program which promotes positive parenting through education and the provision of information, with a wide range of parenting guides. This service is provided by the Department of Disabilities, Housing and Community Services.13 34 27 8.30 am - 5 pm, Monday - FridayACT Community Health Community Health provides specialised services including a day-stay program for parents with babies less than four months of age with settling and feeding issues. (02) 6207 9977 8 am – 5 pm, Monday - Friday (except public holidays)Queen Elizabeth II Family Centre Queen Elizabeth II is a residential facility for families.  It is staffed by a multidisciplinary team and provides specialised services to support families with children up to 3 years of age for issues including feeding, settling and child behaviours.(02) 6205 2333 8.30 am - 4.50 pm, Monday - FridayDo you need to find care for your child? These services may help:Family Day Care Family day care is a quality home-based childcare service that's been actively helping Australian families for over 30 years. Family day care caters for young babies through to pre-teens and can offer care during standard hours, before/after school, during school holidays and, in some circumstances, overnight and weekends. Family Day Care Australia can help you locate a service near you. For further information about the Child Care Benefit and Family Day Care in your area contact:Family Day Care Hotline 1800 621 218 (freecall) 9 am - 5 pm Monday – FridayLong Day Care Long Day Care provides Centre based quality Child Care, which generally operates for at least 40 hours per week, 48 weeks per year.  Centre based care usually caters for children aged from birth to 5 years and nurtures and encourages all aspects of your child’s development.  For more information about the Child Care Benefit and Centre Based Long Day Care in your area contact: Child Care Access Hotline 1800 670 305 (freecall) 1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired) 9 am – 8 pm Monday - FridayOccasional Care Occasional care is a unique child care service that supports families by providing flexible care for children from birth to school age. Families can access occasional care regularly or irregularly. Occasional care allows the flexibility to leave children in an early childhood learning environment to socialise and interact with other children. For more information about the Child Care Benefit and Centre Based Long Day Care in your area contactChild Care Access Hotline 1800 670 305 (freecall) 1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired) 9 am – 8 pm Monday-FridayOut of School Hours Care Provides services to cater for the needs of primary school aged children and their families before school, after school, during non-teaching days and during school holidays. Programs are generally provided within school facilities.For more information contact your local primary school or the:Child Care Access Hotline 1800 670 305 (freecall) 9 am - 8 pm Monday - Friday 1800 639 327 (TTY Service - Hearing/Speech impaired)How do I find out about playgroups?Playgroups are a great way for small children to practise the fine art of getting along with others and to try new ways to play.  They’re good for parents too, with lots of support and social contact in a relaxed, welcoming environment.   For more information contact the ACT Playgroup Association Inc.1800 171 882 (02) 6251 0261 9 am - 3 pm, Monday - FridayIs your child ready for preschool?In 2006, all children who turn four on or before the 30 April in the year of enrolment will be eligible to attend 12 hours of preschool per week.  Preschool programs focus on learning and socialising skills to help prepare your child for school. For more information about locations of your nearest preschool or other information contact Preschool Services on:(02) 6207 1961 8.30 am - 4.50 pm, Monday - FridayAre things worrying you at home and you want someone to talk to? These services may help:Relationships AustraliaRelationships Australia provides a range of support services to couples, individuals and families including relationship counselling, mediation, family violence intervention and support for problem gambling1300 364 277 (cost of a local call) Monday, 9 am - 5 pm Tuesday - Thursday, 8.30 am - 9 pm Friday, 8.30 am - 4.30 pm Saturday, 8.30 am - 12.30 pmDoes someone in your family have special needs?Northcott Disability ServicesNorthcott Disability Services is a not-for-profit organisation which provides services and support to individuals with disabilities and their families in the ACT and NSW.(02) 9890 0100 1800 818 286  7 am - 5 pm, Monday - FridayAre you looking for a directory of parenting services in your state? This service may help:Infoxchange Service Seeker The Infoxchange Service Seeker contains updated details on government and non-government services and agencies around Australia.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles17/5/200622/5/20091111Victoria servicesVIC servicesVIC servicesServices - VIC000Parent support services in Victoria0Green0-100-30Have you just had a new baby?Are you finding parenting harder than you thought?Do you need to find care for your child?How do I find out about playgroups?Is your child ready for Kindergarten?Are things worrying you at home and you want someone to talk to?Does someone in your family have special needs?Are you looking for a directory of parenting services in your state?Have you just had a new baby? These services may help:ParentlineParentline is a telephone information and referral service for parents and carers with children from birth to 18 years. Parentline is a confidential and anonymous service. The qualified staff are there to help you with a range of issues from settling, feeding and tantrums to separation and family violence. 13 22 89 (local call) 8 am – 12 am Monday – Friday 10 am – 10 pm Saturday – SundayMaternal and Child Health Service The Maternal and Child Health Service provides information and advice for families with children birth – 6 years about child health and development, parental health, parenting and home safety.You can find you closest Maternal and Child Health Centre by contacting your local council or through the Maternal and Child Health Centre Directory.Maternal and Child Health Advisory Line 13 22 29 (local call) 24 hours, 7 daysAre you finding parenting harder than you thought? These services may help:Early Parenting Centres Parenting Centres provide families with children birth to 3 years with support on a range of parenting issues including feeding, settling, early childhood routines and more. When you call a centre, a worker will speak to you about your needs and let you know what they can offer. Families can stay at the Parenting Centre or attend a day stay program.The three Early Parenting Centres in Melbourne are:O’Connell Family Centre in Canterbury: (03) 8416 7600 9 am - 5 pm, Monday - FridayQueen Elizabeth Centre in Noble Park: (03) 9549 2777 9 am - 5 pm, Monday - FridayTweddle Child and Family Health Service in Footscray: (03) 9689 1577 8.30 am - 5 pm, Monday - FridayRegional Parenting Services  These services provide parenting information and education. Parenting groups are run in easily accessible venues such as schools, preschools and neighbourhood houses.Find contact details for your local regional office.Do you need to find care for your child? These services may help:Family Day Care Family day care is a quality home-based childcare service that's been actively helping Australian families for over 30 years. Family day care caters for young babies through to pre-teens and can offer care during standard hours, before/after school, during school holidays and, in some circumstances, overnight and weekends. Family Day Care Australia can help you locate a service near you. For further information about the Child Care Benefit and Family Day Care in your area contact:Family Day Care Hotline 1800 621 218 (freecall) 9 am - 5 pm Monday – FridayOr contact your local council for information regarding your nearest family day care centre.Long Day Care Long Day Care provides Centre based quality Child Care, which generally operates for at least 40 hours per week, 48 weeks per year.  Centre based care usually caters for children aged from birth to 5 years and nurtures and encourages all aspects of your child’s development.  For more information about the Child Care Benefit and Centre Based Long Day Care in your area contact: Child Care Access Hotline 1800 670 305 (freecall) 9 am - 8 pm Monday – Friday 1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired)Or contact your local council for information about your nearest long day care centre.Occasional Care Occasional care is a unique child care service that supports families by providing flexible care for children from birth to school age. Families can access occasional care regularly or irregularly. Occasional care allows the flexibility to leave children in an early childhood learning environment to socialise and interact with other children. For more information about the Child Care Benefit and Centre Based Long Day Care in your area contact:   Child Care Access Hotline: 1800 670 305 (freecall) 9 am - 8 pm Monday – Friday 1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired)Or contact your local council for information about your nearest long day care centre. Out of School Hours Care  Provides services to cater for the needs of primary school aged children and their families before school, after school, during non-teaching days and during school holidays. Programs are generally provided within school facilities.For more information contact your local primary school or the:Child Care Access Hotline 1800 670 305 (freecall) 9 am - 8 pm Monday – Friday 1800 639 327 (TTY Service - Hearing/Speech impaired)How do I find out about playgroups?Playgroups are a great way for small children to practise the fine art of getting along with others and to try new ways to play.  They’re good for parents too, with lots of support and social contact in a relaxed, welcoming environment.For more information contact Playgroup Victoria  (03) 9388 1599.(03) 9388 1599 1800 171 882 (toll free)Is your child ready for Kindergarten?In Victoria, the government funds 1 year of Kindergarten in the year prior to your child starting school. Kindergarten programs focus on learning and socialising skills to help prepare your child for school.Your local council will have information regarding your local Kindergartens.Your regional DHS office will have a list of the Kindergartens in your area.Are things worrying you at home and you want someone to talk to? These services may help:WIRE – Women’s Information and ReferralWIRE is a service that women - all women - can access when they want options, reliable information and support. The most common issues women come to WIRE about are: family life and relationships, domestic violence, health and well being (including such issues as depression, anxiety and isolation), housing and finance.1300 134 130 (local call) 9am - 5pm Monday – FridayRelationships AustraliaRelationships Australia provides a range of support services to couples, individuals and families including relationship counselling, mediation, family violence intervention and support for problem gambling1300 364 277 (local call)9 am - 5 pm Monday 9 am - 9 pm Tuesday – Thursday 9 am - 4.30 pm Friday 9 am - 1 pm SaturdayDoes someone in your family have special needs?Disability OnlineDisability Online is a website that provides information for people with a disability their families and carers.Are you looking for a directory of parenting services in your state? This service may help:Infoxchange Service Seeker The Infoxchange Service Seeker contains updated details on government and non-government services and agencies around Australia.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles6/9/201015/11/20101111Tasmania servicesTAS servicesTAS servicesServices - TAS000Parent support services in Tasmania.0Green0-100-30Have you just had a new baby?Are you finding parenting harder than you thought?Do you need to find care for your child?How do I find out about playgroups?Is your child ready for Kindergarten?Are things worrying you at home and you want someone to talk to?Does someone in your family have special needs?Are you looking for a directory of parenting services in your state?Have you just had a new baby? These services may help:The Parenting LineThe Parenting Line is a telephone information service for parents and carers that is available at any time to assist parents with stressful parenting issues and concerns. 1300 808 178 (cost of a local call) 24 hours, 7 daysChild Health CentresFamily and Child Health nurses provide counselling, support and health / practical parenting information for families and growth / development assessments for children. They also offer women screening for postnatal depression and provide counselling, support and referral as necessary. Search the Tasmanian Government Services Directory for information regarding your local Family and Child Health Nurse.Are you finding parenting harder than you thought? These services may helpParenting CentresParenting Centres offer more intensive support for families experiencing difficulties with children 0-5 years of age.  Parenting Centres are a day service and consultations with social workers, psychologists and child health nurses are available.Do you need to find care for your child? These services may helpFamily Day CareFamily day care is a quality home-based childcare service that's been actively helping Australian families for over 30 years. Family day care caters for young babies through to pre-teens and can offer care during standard hours, before/after school, during school holidays and, in some circumstances, overnight and weekends. The Tasmanian Government can provide further information about the Child Care Benefit and locations of Family Day Care in your area or call the: Family Day Care Hotline 1800 621 218 (freecall) 9 am - 5 pm Monday – Friday Long Day Care Long Day Care provides Centre based quality Child Care, which generally operates for at least 40 hours per week, 48 weeks per year.  Centre based care usually caters for children aged from birth to 5 years and nurtures and encourages all aspects of your child’s development. The Tasmanian Government can provide further information about the Child Care Benefit and locations of Centre Based Long Day Care in your area or call the:Child Care Access Hotline1800 670 305 (freecall) 1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired) 9 am – 8 pm Monday – FridayOccasional CareOccasional care is a unique child care service that supports families by providing flexible care for children from birth to school age. Families can access occasional care regularly or irregularly. Occasional care allows the flexibility to leave children in an early childhood learning environment to socialise and interact with other children. For more information about the Child Care Benefit and Centre Based Long Day Care in your area contact the: Child Care Access Hotline1800 670 305 (freecall) 1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired) 9 am – 8 pm, Monday – FridayOut of School Hours Care Provides services to cater for the needs of primary school aged children and their families before school, after school, during non-teaching days and during school holidays. Programs are generally provided within school facilities.   For more information contact your local primary school or the:   Child Care Access Hotline 1800 670 305 (freecall) 9 am – 8 pm, Monday - Friday 1800 639 327 (TTY Service - Hearing/Speech impaired)How do I find out about playgroups?Playgroups are a great way for small children to practise the fine art of getting along with others and to try new ways to play. They’re good for parents too, with lots of support and social contact in a relaxed, welcoming environment.For more information contact the Playgroup Association of Tasmania on 1800 171 882 or (03) 6344 7800.Is your child ready for Kindergarten?Kindergarten programs are available to children who have turned 4 by the 1st January the year in which they start. Kindergarten programs are offered for the equivalent of 10 hours per week. Kindergarten programs focus on learning and socialising skills to help prepare your child for school.The Tasmanian Department of Education has more information about kindergartens in your area.  Are things worrying you at home and you want someone to talk to? These services may help:Relationships AustraliaRelationships Australia provides a range of support services to couples, individuals and families including relationship counselling, mediation, family violence intervention and support for problem gambling.1300 364 277 (cost of a local call)Does someone in your family have special needs?Disability ServicesThe Disability Services program is made up of several teams that focus on delivering a range of services for people with a disability, their families and carer’s including information and education, respite, short term support, day options, residential and service coordination.Are you looking for a directory of parenting services in your state? This service may help:Infoxchange Service Seeker The Infoxchange Service Seeker contains updated details on government and non-government services and agencies around Australia.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles17/5/200622/5/20091111Northern Territory servicesNT servicesNT servicesServices - NT000Parent support services in the Northern Territory0Green0-100-30Have you just had a new baby?Do you need to find care for your child?How do I find out about playgroups?Is your child ready for preschool?Are things worrying you at home and you want someone to talk to?Does someone in your family have special needs?Are you looking for a directory of parenting services in your state?Have you just had a new baby? These services may help:Parentline Parentline is a confidential telephone counselling service aimed at providing professional counselling and support for parents and all who have the care of children.1300 301 300 (cost of a local call) 8 am – 10 pmMaternal and Child Health Maternal and Child Health nurses provide health checks and immunisation for children and can provide information, support, advice and education for you and your family including feeding, sleep, safety and relationships.  To locate your closest community health centre call:(08) 9855 6106 (Darwin) (08) 8922 7712 8 am - 4.30 pm, Monday - FridayNT Families Website The NT Families Website provides useful tips about parenting and living in families as well as links to other helpful websites.Do you need to find care for your child? These services may help:Family Day Care Family day care is a quality home-based childcare service that's been actively helping Australian families for over 30 years. Family day care caters for young babies through to pre-teens and can offer care during standard hours, before/after school, during school holidays and, in some circumstances, overnight and weekends. Family Day Care Australia can help you locate a service near you. For further information about the Child Care Benefit and Family Day Care in your area contact:Family Day Care Hotline 1800 621 218 (freecall) 9 am - 5 pm Monday – FridayAlso, you could contact Family Day Care Australia, a national body working on behalf of all members of the Family Day Care Community.Long Day Care Long Day Care provides Centre based quality Child Care, which generally operates for at least 40 hours per week, 48 weeks per year.  Centre based care usually caters for children aged from birth to 5 years and nurtures and encourages all aspects of your child’s development. The Northern Territory Government can provide more information about the Child Care Benefit and Centre Based Long Day Care in your area or call the: Child Care Access Hotline 1800 670 305 (freecall) 9 am - 8 pm Monday – Friday 1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired)Occasional Care Occasional care is a unique child care service that supports families by providing flexible care for children from birth to school age. Families can access occasional care regularly or irregularly. Occasional care allows the flexibility to leave children in an early childhood learning environment to socialise and interact with other children. The Northern Territory Government can provide more information about the Child Care Benefit and Centre Based Long Day Care in your area or call the: Child Care Access Hotline 1800 670 305 (freecall) 9 am - 8 pm Monday – Friday 1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired) Out of School Hours Care Provides services to cater for the needs of primary school aged children and their families before school, after school, during non-teaching days and during school holidays. Programs are generally provided within school facilities.For more information contact your local primary school or the Child Care Access Hotline 1800 670 305 (freecall) 9 am - 8 pm Monday - Friday 1800 639 327 (TTY Service - Hearing/Speech impaired)How do I find out about playgroups?Playgroups are a great way for small children to practise the fine art of getting along with others and to try new ways to play.  They’re good for parents too, with lots of support and social contact in a relaxed, welcoming environment.For more information contact the Playgroup Northern Territory on (08) 8945 7775 or 1800 171 882 (freecall)  9 am - 2 pm, Monday - ThursdayIs your child ready for preschool?Preschool is not compulsory, but it is highly recommended. Preschool helps to prepare children for their schooling life.  Children can start preschool as soon as they turn four. At some non-government preschools children can start earlier than that. The Department of Education and Training can provide more information or call (08) 8999 5659.Are things worrying you at home and you want someone to talk to? These services may help:Relationships AustraliaRelationships Australia provides a range of support services to couples, individuals and families including relationship counselling, mediation, family violence intervention and support for problem gambling.1300 364 277 (cost of a local call)Does someone in your family have special needs?Office of DisabilityInformation, referral and support services to individuals with a disability and their family.1800 139 656 8.30 am - 4 pm, Monday to FridayAre you looking for a directory of parenting services in your state? This service may help:Infoxchange Service Seeker The Infoxchange Service Seeker contains updated details on government and non-government services and agencies around Australia.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles17/5/200622/5/20091111South Australia servicesSA servicesSA servicesServices - SA000Parent support services in South Australia0Green0-100-30Have you just had a new baby?Are you finding parenting harder than you thought?Do you need to find care for your child?How do I find out about playgroups?Is your child ready for preschool?Are things worrying you at home and you want someone to talk to?Does someone in your family have special needs?Are you looking for a directory of parenting services in your state?Have you just had a new baby? These services may help:Parent HelplineParent Helpline is a telephone information service for parents and carers with children from birth to 25 years. All calls are confidential. The qualified staff are there to provide information about health, behaviour and relationships. 1300 364 100 (cost of a local call) 24 hours, 7 daysChild and Youth HealthChild and Youth Health nurses provide free health checks for children at key developmental ages between birth and 6 years.  Children can also be seen at any age when parents have concerns, questions or issues.1300 733 606 (cost of a local call)Child, Adolescent and Women's Health Service 24 hour parent helpline 1300 364 1009 am - 5 pm, Monday - FridayThe Child, Youth and Women’s Health Service will be able to provide information on your local health nurse.Parenting SAParenting SA provides information for parents on a range of child development / behaviour issues and how to locate a parent group near you.(08) 8303 1660 9am - 5pm, Monday - FridayAre you finding parenting harder than you thought? These services may help:Child and Youth Health - Day ServiceChild and Youth Health can provide a more intensive service where a nurse will spend some time, even a whole day, with you at one of their Centres.  This may include provision of breastfeeding support, health information and tips on settling.1300 733 606 (cost of a local call)Child and Youth Health  - Torrens HouseTorrens House is a community residential unit for families with infants up to 12 months who require additional support for unresolved feeding, settling and sleeping issues. You can also find out more about the CYH Day Service. The initial step is to discuss your situation with a Child and Youth Health nurse at your local centre.1300 733 606 (cost of a local call)Do you need to find care for your child? These services may help:Family Day CareFamily day care is a quality home-based childcare service that's been actively helping Australian families for over 30 years. Family day care caters for young babies through to pre-teens and can offer care during standard hours, before/after school, during school holidays and, in some circumstances, overnight and weekends. Family Day Care Australia can help you locate a service near you. For further information about the Child Care Benefit and Family Day Care in your area contact:Family Day Care Hotline 1800 621 218 (freecall) 9 am - 5 pm Monday – FridayLong Day CareLong Day Care provides Centre based quality Child Care, which generally operates for at least 40 hours per week, 48 weeks per year.  Centre based care usually caters for children aged from birth to 5 years and nurtures and encourages all aspects of your child’s development.  For more information about the Child Care Benefit and Centre Based Long Day Care in your area contact: Child Care Access Hotline 1800 670 305 (freecall) 9 am – 8 pm, Monday – Friday 1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired)You can go to the Department of Education and Children’s Services website, click on 'Search for locations' in the menu for more information on centres providing long day care in your area.Occasional CareOccasional care is a unique child care service that supports families by providing flexible care for children from birth to school age. Families can access occasional care regularly or irregularly. Occasional care allows the flexibility to leave children in an early childhood learning environment to socialise and interact with other children. For more information about the Child Care Benefit and Centre Based Long Day Care in your area contact:Child Care Access Hotline 1800 670 305 (freecall) 9 am – 8 pm Monday – Friday 1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired)You can go to the Department of Education and Children’s Services website, click on 'Search for locations' in the menu for more information on Occasional Care in your area.Out of School Hours Care Provides services to cater for the needs of primary school aged children and their families before school, after school, during non-teaching days and during school holidays. Programs are generally provided within school facilities.For more information contact your local primary school or the:Child Care Access Hotline 1800 670 305 (freecall) 9 am - 8 pm, Monday - Friday 1800 639 327 (TTY Service - hearing/speech impaired)How do I find out about playgroups?Playgroups are a great way for small children to practise the fine art of getting along with others and to try new ways to play.  They’re good for parents too, with lots of support and social contact in a relaxed, welcoming environment. For more information contact Playgroup SA(08) 8344 2722 1800 171 882 9 am - 4 pm, Monday - FridayIs your child ready for preschool?Preschool services are provided for children in the year prior to your child starting school. Preschool programs focus on learning and socialising skills to help prepare your child for school. Playcentres are established in rural areas where the number of four-year-olds is too small to operate a viable preschool.  Playcentres usually offer one to two sessions per week and focus on child development through play. You can go to the Department of Education and Children’s Services website, click on 'Search for locations' in the menu for more information about local preschools and playcentres.Are things worrying you at home and you want someone to talk to? These services may help:Relationships AustraliaRelationships Australia provides a range of support services to couples, individuals and families including relationship counselling, mediation, family violence intervention and support for problem gambling.1300 364 277 (cost of a local call)WIS – Women’s Information ServiceYou can phone or visit WIS to talk about relationships, health, legal matters, housing, financial issues, material assistance, work, education, violence or anything else you need information about.(08) 8303 0590 1800 188 158 (freecall) 9 am - 5.30 pm, Monday - FridayDoes someone in your family have special needs?The Disability Information and Resource Centre (DIRC)DIRC provides an information, referral and advice service to the people of South Australia, from a centre where the needs of people with a disability have priority and they are valued. (08) 8236 0555 1300 305 558 (cost of a local call) (08) 8223 7579 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired)Are you looking for a directory of parenting services in your state? This service may help:Infoxchange Service SeekerThe Infoxchange Service Seeker contains updated details on government and non-government services and agencies around Australia.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles6/9/201015/11/20101111Western Australia servicesWA servicesWA servicesServices - WA000Parent support services in Western Australia.0Green0-100-30Have you just had a new baby?Are you finding parenting harder than you thought?Do you need to find care for your child?How do I find out about playgroups?Is your child ready for Kindergarten?Are things worrying you at home and you want someone to talk to?Does someone in your family have special needs?Are you looking for a directory of parenting services in your state?Have you just had a new baby? These services may help:The Parenting LineThe Parenting Line is a telephone information service for parents and carers with children from birth to 18 years. All calls are confidential. The qualified staff are there to provide information about health, behaviour and relationships. (08) 6279 12001800 654 432 (freecall for STD callers)24 hours, 7 daysCommunity Child Health ClinicsCommunity Child Health nurses can assess children’s health and development as well as provide information on many aspects of parenting, maternal and family health and healthy lifestyles. The Western Australian Department of Health will be able to provide further information on the location of your nearest Community Child Health nurse. Parenting WAHighly trained staff at Parenting WA work with parents and carers to help them understand the stages of child development, increase their knowledge of community resources and develop social networks in their local community. Services offered include home visiting and a parenting library that can mail out resources to parents across WA.28 Alvan StreetMount Lawley(08) 6279 12001800 654 432 (freecall for STD callers)24 hours a day, 7 days a weekParenting library: (08) 6279 1223 or 1800 686 155 (freecall for STD callers)Are you finding parenting harder than you thought? These services may help:Ngala Family Resource CentreNgala assists parents with young children who need support and advice to confidently manage the challenges of early parenting. All families with children from babies to school age are welcome.  Services include a helpline, parent groups, consultations, day stay and overnight stay programs.(08) 9368 93681800 111 546 (STD callers)8 am – 8 pm, 7 daysParenting ServicesYour local parenting service had video’, brochures, books, audiotapes and other information to help make life easier for mums and dads and others caring for children. The Department for Communities can provide information on your nearest parenting service.Do you need to find care for your child? These services may help:Family Day CareFamily day care is a quality home-based childcare service that's been actively helping Australian families for over 30 years. Family day care caters for young babies through to pre-teens and can offer care during standard hours, before/after school, during school holidays and, in some circumstances, overnight and weekends. Family Day Care Australia can help you locate a service near you. For further information about the Child Care Benefit and Family Day Care in your area contact:Family Day Care Hotline1800 621 218 (freecall)9 am - 5 pm Monday – FridayThe Family Day Care Schemes of WA can provide further information regarding Family Day Care in Western Australia.Long Day CareLong Day Care provides Centre based quality Child Care, which generally operates for at least 40 hours per week, 48 weeks per year.  Centre based care usually caters for children aged from birth to 5 years and nurtures and encourages all aspects of your child’s development.  For more information about the Child Care Benefit and Centre Based Long Day Care in your area contact: Child Care Access Hotline:1800 670 305 (freecall) 9 am – 8 pm, Monday – Friday1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired)Occasional CareOccasional care is a unique child care service that supports families by providing flexible care for children from birth to school age. Families can access occasional care regularly or irregularly. Occasional care allows the flexibility to leave children in an early childhood learning environment to socialise and interact with other children. For more information about the Child Care Benefit and Centre Based Long Day Care in your area contact Child Care Access Hotline:1800 670 305 (freecall)9 am – 8 pm, Monday – Friday1800 639 327 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired)Out of School Hours Care Provides services to cater for the needs of primary school aged children and their families before school, after school, during non-teaching days and during school holidays. Programs are generally provided within school facilities. For more information contact your local primary school or the: Child Care Access Hotline1800 670 305 (freecall)9 am - 8 pm, Monday - Friday1800 639 327 (TTY Service - Hearing/Speech impaired)How do I find out about playgroups? Playgroups are a great way for small children to practise the fine art of getting along with others and to try new ways to play.  They’re good for parents too, with lots of support and social contact in a relaxed, welcoming environment. For more information contact Playgroup WA.1800 171 882 (freecall)9.00am – 3.00pmMonday to Friday         Is your child ready for Kindergarten?Kindergarten programs are available to children who have turned 4 by 30th June in any given year and are offered for the equivalent of 4 half days per week.Pre-primary programs are available to children who have turned 5 by the 30th June in any given year. Pre-primary programs are offered for 5 full days.Kindergarten and pre-primary programs focus on learning and socialising skills to help prepare your child for school.  For further information contact your local District Education Office.Are things worrying you at home and you want someone to talk to? These services may help:Relationships AustraliaRelationships Australia provides a range of support services to couples, individuals and families including relationship counselling, mediation, family violence intervention and support for problem gambling.1300 364 277 (cost of a local call)WIS – Women’s Information ServiceProvide support on health, finances, legal matters, counselling and domestic violence or anything else you need information about.(08) 6217 82301800 199 174 (freecall for STD callers)131450 (Interpreting service)9 am – 5 pm, Monday to FridayDoes someone in your family have special needs?Disability Services CommissionThe Disability Services Commission provides information for people with a disability, their families and carers.  (08) 9426 9200 or 1800 998 214 (Country callers)TTY (08) 9426 9315 (TTY Service – hearing/speech impaired)8 am - 5 pm, Monday to FridayAre you looking for a directory of parenting services in your state? This service may help:Infoxchange Service SeekerThe Infoxchange Service Seeker contains updated details on government and non-government services and agencies around Australia.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles17/5/200619/1/20101111HotlinesParenting advice helplines and hotlinesHotlinesHotlines000Phone numbers for parenting hotlines in each state along with key national helplines such as the Child Care Access Hotline.00-100-30Dial 000 if you are in danger or need help with fire, ambulance or police. And keep a list of emergency numbers by your phone or in your mobile.Parenting hotlines – state by stateGeneral hotlines – Australia-wideParenting hotlines – state by stateStateServicePhone numberHours of operationACTParentline(02) 6287 3833 9 am to 9 pm (Mon-Fri except public holidays) Health Direct Australia1800 022 22224 hours, 7 daysNSWParentline1300 130 05224 hours, 7 days Karitane Care Line1300 227 464 (02) 9794 1852 (Sydney metro)24 hours, 7 days (Mon-Thurs)9 am – 9 pm (Fri-Sun) Tresillian Parent Helpline1800 637 357 (02) 9787 0855 (Sydney metro)24 hours, 7 daysNTParentline1300 301 3008 am – 10 pm, 7 daysQLDParentline1300 301 3008 am - 10 pm, 7 days 13 Health13 HEALTH (13 43 25 84)24 hours, 7 daysSAParent Helpline1300 364 1007:15 am - 9:15 pm, 7 daysTASParenting Line Tas1300 808 17824 hours, 7 daysVICParentline132 2898 am – 12 am, 7 days Maternal and Child Health Advisory Line132 22924 hours, 7 daysWAParenting Line1800 654 432 (STD callers) (08) 6279 120024 hours, 7 days Grandcare (information service for grandparents)1800 008 32310 am - 3 pm (Mon-Fri) Ngala Helpline(08) 9368 9368 1800 111 546 (STD callers)8 am – 8 pm, 7 daysGeneral hotlines – Australia-wideServicePhone numberHours of operationAlcohol and Drug Information Services (ADIS)1800 422 599(02) 9361 8000 (Sydney metro)24 hours, 7 daysChild Care Access Hotline1800 670 305 1800 639 327 (TTY service for people with a hearing/speech impairment)8 am – 9 pm (Mon-Fri)Family Relationship Advice Line 1800 050 3218 am – 8 pm (Mon-Fri) 10 am – 4pm (Sat) (local time)Health Direct Australia (not available in Vic or Qld)1800 022 22224 hours, 7 daysKids Helpline1800 551 80024 hours, 7 daysLifeline   131 11424 hours, 7 daysMedicare Public Enquiries Line132 0119 am – 5 pm (Mon-Fri)Mensline Australia1300 789 97824 hours, 7 days (Support and referral to specialist men's services)National Breastfeeding Helpline1800 MUM 2 MUM (or 1800 686 2 686)24 hours, 7 daysNational Poisons Information Centre131 12624 hours, 7 daysPlaygroup Australia1800 171 8829 am – 3 pm (Mon-Fri)Sane Australia Mental Health Helpline1800 187 2639 am – 5 pm (Mon-Fri)Violence Against Women1800 200 526Confidential 24 hour helplineChild Wise National Child Abuse Prevention Helpline1800 991 099 9 am - 5 pm (Mon-Fri) Rightdid you knowParenting helplines provide free telephone support to parents and carers.Helpline staff can answer your parenting questions and provide information about where to go for further help.Parents call the helplines for issues as diverse as breastfeeding, sibling rivalry, lice and toilet training.Video TranscriptsRelated articles21/10/201121/10/201207/11/201101001111GovernmentGovernmentLinks - government000This page provides links to a variety of government resources.0Green0-100-30This page provides links to a variety of relevant government resources.FederalAustralian Government Australian Government Department of Education, Employment and Workplace RelationsAustralian Government Department of Family, Community Services and Indigenous AffairsAustralian Government Department of Human ServicesAustralian Government Department of Health and AgeingCentrelinkMedicare AustraliaHealth InsiteFamilies Portal - Australian Government Department of Family, Community Services and Indigenous AffairsFamily Relationships OnlineWomen's Portal - Australian Government Department of Family, Community Services and Indigenous AffairsCommunity Portal - Australian Government Department of Family, Community Services and Indigenous AffairsAustralian Institute of Family Studies - family research, information resources and services, and links to other sites for familyACTACT GovernmentACT HealthDepartment of disability, housing and community servicesDepartment of Education and TrainingNSWState Government of NSWNSW HealthDepartment of Community Service (DoCS)Commission for Children and Young PeopleDepartment of EducationNTState Government of NTDepartment of Health and Community ServicesDepartment of Employment, Education and TrainingQLDState Government of QLDDepartment of CommunitiesQueensland HealthDepartment of Child SafetyDepartment of EducationSAState Government of SADepartment for Families and CommunitiesDepartment of HealthDepartment of Education and Children's ServicesTASState Government of TasmaniaDepartment of EducationDepartment of Health and Human ServicesVICState Government of VictoriaDepartment of Human ServicesDepartment of Education and Early Childhood DevelopmentDepartment for Victorian CommunitiesWAState Government of WADepartment for CommunitiesDepartment of HealthDepartment of Education ServicesRightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/5/200615/5/200631111Child Health & WellbeingChild Health & WellbeingLinks - child health & wellbeing000This page provides links to a variety of child health and wellbeing resources.0Green0-100-30This page provides links to a variety of child health and wellbeing resources.HealthHospitalsChild protectionFeeding/nutritionSafetySleepHealthABC Health Matters - Consumer Guides Consumer guides on many aspects of the health system including finding a GP, saving on medicines, links to help find patient support groups, and much more.Anaphylaxis AustraliaInformation and support for those affected by food allergies and anaphylaxis.AustpremInformation and support for parents and carers of prematurely born babies and children.Australian Association for the Welfare of Child HealthServices, resources and information relating to families emotional and social needs and the health care system. Includes directory for paediatric support groups and other resources to assist children and their families.Early Childhood Australia Information relating to the education and care of children from birth to eight years.Health Insite A wide range of up-to-date and quality assessed information on a range of health topics.Immunise AustraliaInformation on childhood immunisation.Livewire Livewire provides free, safe and fun online communities for families affected by a serious illness, chronic health condition or disability.Medicare AustraliaInformation about a variety of services and assistance schemes, including information translated into languages other than English.SIDS and Kids Information and publications on SIDS, sudden infant death, grief/bereavement issues and safe sleeping.HospitalsACTThe Canberra HospitalNSWThe Children’s Hospital WestmeadSydney Children’s Hospital - RandwickNTAlice Springs HospitalRoyal Darwin HospitalQLDThe Royal Children’s HospitalSAThe Women’s and Children’s HospitalTASRoyal Hobart HospitalTamanian Government Health and Wellbeing DirectoryVICThe Royal Children’s HospitalWAPrincess Margaret Hospital for ChildrenChild protectionAbused Child TrustSpecialised services for abused children and their families through individualised therapy programs, education, research and prevention.Australian Childhood Foundation Information and programs to give children a childhood free from abuse, family violence and neglect.Barnardos Services involved in delivering parent education to families experiencing difficulties in raising their children and where children are at risk of abuse or neglect.Child Abuse Prevention Service Inc.Support for parents, and the promotion of environments for children that encourage security, happiness and self worth.Domestic Violence and Incest Resource CentreComprehensive resource for family violence and sexual abuse, including a national service directory.Feeding/Nutrition Anaphylaxis AustraliaInformation and support for those affected by food allergies and anaphylaxis.Australian Breastfeeding Association Promotes breastfeeding and provides support to breastfeeding women.Australian Guide to Healthy EatingA national healthy food guide.The Australian Nutrition Foundation Promoting optimal health for all Australians by encouraging food variety and physical activity.Better Health ChannelTips and healthy recipes for babies, toddlers, children and teenagers.The Butterfly Foundation A community-based charitable organisation that supports eating disorder sufferers and their carers through direct financial relief, advocacy, awareness campaigns, health promotion and early intervention work. It also offers professional training in primary and secondary schools and supports eating disorder and body image research.Child and Youth Health - Children’s, Youth and Women’s Health ServiceComprehensive information on breastfeeding, bottle feeding, starting solids and the nutritional value of healthy eating.Dietitians Association Australia Provides useful information on nutrition, including recipes and tips for a healthy diet.SafetyBetter Health Channel Safety information about furniture, playground equipment, bikes, animals and car and road safety.Cybersmart Activities, resources and practical advice to help children, teenagers and parents safely enjoy the online world.Farm Safe Australia IncInformation and resources to protect the health and safety of farmers, family members, workers and visitors to farms.Keep WatchInformation on water safety and resuscitation.Kids and Traffic The Early Childhood Road Safety Education Program is part of the NSW Roads and Traffic Authority’s (RTA) Youth, Community and Education Program, and is a partnership between the RTA and Macquarie University.Kidsafe Information and resources to help prevent childhood injury.SIDS and KidsInformation for health professionals, child care workers, parents, and anyone who cares for babies, about the evidence around SIDS risk reduction and sleep accidents.St John Ambulance Information on handling emergencies and practical life-saving skills.Sun SmartSun protection policies and practices for local government, schools and early childhood services, workplaces and sporting groups.Young Media AustraliaUp-to-date information about media and children.Sleep Australasian Sleep AssociationLinks and information about sleep and sleep disorders.Better Health ChannelInformation and treatment referral for common sleep disorders.SIDS and KidsInformation for health professionals, child care workers, parents, and anyone who cares for babies, about the evidence around SIDS risk reduction and sleep accidents. Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/5/20066/4/2011021111Parents & FamiliesResources for parents and familiesParents & FamiliesLinks - parents & families000This page provides links to a variety of resources for parents and families of all kinds.00-100-30This page provides links to a variety of resources for parents and families of all kinds.Parenting supportFamily supportAdoptive familiesGrandparentsFathersFoster carersSame-sex parentsSole parentsStep parentsTeenage parentsParents of twins and multiplesParenting SupportAustprem Information and support for parents and carers of prematurely born babies and children.Better Health Channel A Victorian government website for information and advice on a range of issues, for parents of babies through to teenagers.Families NSW  This website provides parents and carers with information on a wide variety of services for families in NSW, and how families can access them, region by region.Family Relationships Online An Australian Government initiative providing information on relationships, family, love and life, including parenting information.Health Direct Australia Provides information on a wide range of issues and has a dedicated section for pregnant women, and those who have a child aged 0-12 months.Infoxchange Service Seeker A directory of government and non-government parenting services around Australia.Kids Count This website explores parenting issues through the eyes of parents and children.Livewire Livewire provides free, safe and fun online communities for families affected by a serious illness, chronic health condition or disability.NSW Parenting A NSW government website that provides practical tips, information and resources and includes a parenting services directory.Northern Territory Families A Northern Territory government website providing information and advice for parents on parenting and child development for babies, toddlers, children and teenagers.Parent Link ACT An ACT government website that provides parenting information, guidance and support.Parenting SA A South Australian government website providing support, services, information and resources for parents and carers.PBS Parents Information and advice for parents about child development from birth through the early school years.QLD Community Child Health Service A Queensland government website providing information, support and resources for parents and carers of children and young people.SIDS and Kids Safe Sleeping is an evidence based health promotion campaign developed for health professionals, childcare workers, parents and anyone who cares for babies to inform them about the evidence around SIDS risk reduction and sleep accidents.Family SupportDomestic Violence Resource CentreComprehensive resource for family violence and sexual abuse including national service directory.Family Services Australia A directory of Family Support Services from a network of organisations, carers, consumers and communities, involved in policy and research.Good Beginnings Australia A not-for-profit organisation providing information and a range of programs including home visiting, a fathers’ program, and a program supporting families affected by imprisonment of a parent.Post and Antenatal Depression Association Provide confidential information, support and referral to anyone affected by post and antenatal mood disorders, including partners and extended family members.Relationships Australia Provides resources to couples, individuals and families to help enhance and support relationships.SIDS and KidsProduces a wide range of booklets for bereaved families.Adoptive FamiliesInter-Country Adoptee Support Network Australia Contacts, resources, referrral and online forums for adoptees and their families.ACTAdoption – Department of Disability, Housing and Community Services Information and application information for adoptive parents relating to intercountry and local adoption.NSWAdoption – Department of Community Services Information for birth parents, adoptive parents and adoptees.NTAdoption Unit – Department of Health and Community Services Information for birth parents and adoptive parents about adoption.QLDAdoption – Department of Child Safety Services to parents considering adoption for their children, children requiring adoptive placements, people seeking to adopt children and eligible adults affected by adoption seeking information.SAAdoption – Department for Families and Communities Information in a variety of languages about local and inter-country adoption for birth parents, adoptive parents and adoptees.East Meets West Contact, information, assistance and support, for inter-country adoptees and/or families with adopted children of any age.WADepartment for Child Protection  Responsible for adoption services in WA. Provides information for birth parents and adoptive parents about adoption.Department for Communities  Provides a range of parenting services under the banner of Parenting WA.GrandparentsChild and Youth Health – Children’s, Youth and Women’s Health Service Information for grandparents on a range of family and relationship issues, and how they affect the development of children and young people. Grandparents raising grandchildren Information to support grandparents, including education and childcare, finance, health and wellbeing and legal issues.Grandparents Victoria  Provide support services and relevant links to grandparents.Grandparents who raise and care for children Information about assistance available for grandparents and carers who raise and care for children.Parenting and Grandparenting A West Australian government website providing parenting information and resources aimed towards grandparents.seniors.gov.au Information for Australians over 50 and a single point of access to Government and non-Government information and services for older Australians.Wanslea Family Services Support for grandparents with responsibility for caring for their grandchildren.Your Life Choices Information for grandparents raising children.FathersAustralian Camp Connect   Bringing focus on the relationship that fathers have with children with an emphasis on engagement, active participation, fulfillment, trust, respect, love and fun.Lone Fathers Association    Education and welfare organisation devoted to the interests of lone fathers, their friends, relatives, grandparents, carers and children.Relationships Australia   Provides resources to couples, individuals and families to help enhance and support relationshipsStepfamily Association of South Australia  Information and support for stepfamilies.Foster carersAustralian Foster Care Association   Supporting and representing the voices of foster carers, their families and the children they care for throughout Australia.Centre for Excellence in Child and Family Welfare   Information about foster care and becoming a foster carer.Centrelink – Parent or guardian Information for parents and guardians.Create Foundation   Programs and activities aimed at connecting and empowering children and young people in out-of-home care and making positive change within the out-of-home care sector. NSW Department of Community Services   Helps you make sense of your rights and responsibilities, the kinds of support you can expect from DoCS and how to access it, and the changes to the legislation governing foster care which affect you.Same-sex parentsGay and Lesbian Counselling and Community Services Australia   Information and a national referral directory, by location, for gay and lesbian services.Gay and Lesbian Counselling Service of New South Wales   Volunteer-run counselling, information and referral service.Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby   Information and advocacy for gay and lesbian parents, couples and individuals, including fact sheets on a range topics including parenting, work, relationships, writing a will, and federal issues.Resources and Networking for Gender Equity in Early Childhood   Research about gender offers important understandings about how gender constructs our lives and how we construct gender in and through our lives with young children. Provides updates on gender research as they are learnt.Twenty 10   Information and support for young gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, same-sex attracted and gender-questioning people and their families, with a focus on problems at home and homelessness.Sole parentsCentrelink   A guide to Centrelink's options and services, including help after someone has died.Child and Youth Health – Children’s, Youth and Women’s Health Service   Information for sole parents on a wide range of family and relationship issues, and how they affect the development of children and young people.Parents Without Partners Australia   Social, emotional and educational support for parents without partners.Single with Children A non-profit social organisation run by single parents, catering for the needs of single-parent families. Provides social activities every week for both custodial and access single parents and their children.Step parentsChild and Youth Health – Children’s, Youth and Women’s Health Service   Information for step parents on a wide range of family and relationship issues, and how they affect the development of children and young people.Stepfamilies Australia Offering support, education, and resources to stepfamilies.Stepfamily Association of South Australia  An Australian website providing information and support to stepfamilies.Relate   Through Relationship Education you can learn some practical things to help yourself, your partner and your family through this time of change.Relationships Australia   Offers resources to couples, individuals and families to help enhance and support relationships.Teenage parentsChild and Youth Health – Children’s, Youth and Women’s Health Service   Provides information about teenage pregnancy and parenting as a teenager.Core of Life   Education about pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and early parenting for adolescents.Young Aussie Mums   This site is dedicated to younger Australian parents and offers information on support services and the opportunity to exchange information and ideas.Parents of twins and multiplesAustralian Multiple Births Association   Established and maintained by multiple birth parents to provide support, resources and education to multiple birth parents.Australian Twin Register   National Medical Health and Research Council, administered by University of Melbourne Newsletters, research and links and resources.Child and Youth Health – Children’s, Youth and Women’s Health Service   Provides information and advice on preparing for twins, breastfeeding and bottle feeding and caring for your twins at home.Curtin University – Twins and Multiples  Information and research about multiples with a focus on education from pre-school through the school years. Includes information about special needs and disability.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles12/05/201012/11/201021111Indigenous & Torres Strait IslanderIndigenous & Torres Strait IslanderLinks - Indigenous & Torres Strait Islander000This page provides links to a variety of resources for Indigenous Australians and Torres Strait Islanders.0Green0-100-30This page provides links to a variety of resources for Indigenous Australians and Torres Strait Islanders.NACCHO - National Aboriginal Community Controlled Health Organisation  The national peak Aboriginal health body promoting holistic and culturally appropriate health to Aboriginal communities   SNAICC - Secretariat of National Aboriginal and Islander Child Care   National body for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Children's Services providing  reports, resources and policy papers and service directory.  Australian Indigenous HealthInfoNet  An evolving resource which makes published, unpublished and specially-developed material about Indigenous health freely accessible to policy makers, service providers, researchers, students and the general community.  Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander Social Justice  Website of the Australian Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission   Indigenous Portal - The Australian Government  Provides resources, contacts, information and government programs and services for Aboriginal people and Torres Strait Islanders  OATSIH - Office for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Health   Includes access to publications, links, events and more.  FaHCSIA - Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs   FaHCSIA is the Australian Government's lead coordination agency in indigenous affairs and has a range of programs to assist indigenous people.  Child and Youth Health - Children's, Youth and Women's Health Service  Information for Aboriginal parents on a wide range of family and relationship issues and how they affect the development of children and young peopleRightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/5/200615/5/200681111MulticulturalMulticultural000A listing of useful multicultural resources and links for accessing information in a variety of languages.0Green0-100-30This page provides links to a variety of multicultural resources.Multicultural Mental Health Australia  Mental health resources, services and tranlated information in over 40 languages.Health Insite   Provides a search facility for health information in languages other than English or in a specific language.Diversity in Childcare Queensland   A community-based organisation providing support around issues of cultural diversity and disadvantage, accessibility and inclusion into child care services. Support for families and service providers available.Action on Disability within Ethnic Communities   Strives to empower people with a disability from non-english speaking backgrounds, their carers, and families to fully participate as members of the community.Centrelink – Child Support SchemeCentrelink information is available in a range of languages.Interfaith Calendar    Calendar of religious festivals from around the world including information about festivals and how they are celebrated.NAPCAN: National Association for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect  Free downloadable brochures on a variety of topics relating to child and family health and wellbeing.DIMA: Department of Immigration and Multicultural Affairs  A service directory of Migrant Resource Centres (MRC) and Migrant Service Agencies (MSA) in Australia.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/5/200612/5/201071111Child & Parent DisabilityChild & Parent DisabilityLinks - child and parent disability000This page provides links to a variety of child and parent disability resources.00-100-30This page provides links to a variety of child and parent disability resources.General disability support and informationAction on Disability within Ethnic Communities   Strives to empower people with a disability from non-english speaking backgrounds, their carers, and families to fully participate as members of the community.Children with Disability Australia Educates and provides advocacy to achieve better outcomes for children and young people with disability and their families.Disability Online Offers comprehensive information, resources and links for services, support and education for people with a diverse range of disabilities.Early Childhood Intervention Australia   An organisation of professionals and parents involved in promoting the interests of young children with developmental delays and disabilities and their families.Healthy Start An Australia-wide initiative to support parents with learning difficulties and promote a healthy start to life for their young children.Livewire Provides free, safe and fun online communities for families affected by a serious illness, chronic health condition or disability.MyTime MyTime groups provide local support for carers of children under school age with a disability or chronic medical condition.Nican   Nican provides information on recreation, tourism, sport and the arts for people with disabilities.Siblings Australia   Aims to develop and co-ordinate services for families, and in particular, brothers and sisters of children with special needs (disability or chronic illness).Queensland Department of Communities (Disability Services) Provides services and programs that support people with a disability in Queensland.Information for carersCarers Australia   Information and support for carers who provide support to children or adults who have a disability, mental illness, chronic condition or who are frail aged.Centrelink Disability and Carer Payment Factsheets   Centrelink payment and entitlement information for disability and carer allowances.FaHCSIA Carers Website General overview of carer allowance and carer payment, respite services for carers of young people with a disability, and carer contacts.Young Carers Website   A resource, focused on carers up to 25 years, providing information, support and contacts, as well as links to services available in States and Territories.Specific disabilities and special needsCerebral Palsy Foundation Provides information about cebebral palsy interventions and recent developments in cerebral palsy research.Fragile X Association   Information about Fragile X syndrome, behavioural and educational aspects and support.State autism associations Contact details for the Australian autism associations. These associations provide information and support for parents and carers raising a child with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).Funding of up to $12 000 ($6000 per financial year) is available for children under six who have been diagnosed with a sight or hearing impairment, including deafblindness, Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, or Fragile X syndrome. The funding is available under the government’s new Better start for children with disability initiative and covers early intervention services such as speech pathology, audiology, occupational therapy, physiotherapy, psychology and orthoptics.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/05/200626/08/201161111Mental HealthMental HealthLinks – mental health000This page provides links to a variety of mental health resources.00-100-30This page provides links to a variety of mental health resources.Beyond Blue A national initiative focusing on depression. Provides information and referral, including emergency contacts and contacts for bereaved parents and siblings.Black Dog Institute Dedicated to improving understanding, diagnosis and treatment of depression and bipolar disorder. Includes professional support and services for clinicians.Children of Parents with a Mental Illness (COPMI) A site dedicated to promoting better mental health outcomes for children of parents with a mental illness, with resources for professionals working with these children and resources for family members. Funded by the Australian Government Department of Health and Ageing.Depressionet Information promoting informed choice about treating and managing depression, as well as referral and support for people living with depression.Headspace Run by the National Youth Mental Health Foundation, Headspace provides information and resources on mental health issues for youth suffering from mental health problems, as well as parents, carers and professionals.Mental Health Foundation of Australia (Victoria) Involved in mental health promotion and education. Provides fact sheets about mental illness, emergency contacts, referral and support.Multicultural Mental Health Australia Mental health resources, services and tranlated information in over 40 languages. Funded by the Australian Government Department of Health and Ageing.PANDA Provides confidential information, support and referral to anyone affected by post and antenatal mood disorders, including partners and extended family members.SANE Australia Guidebooks, videos and fact sheets on mental illnesses and medication, as well as research reports, referral and advocacy for people with mental illness and their families.Youth Beyond Blue A national initiative focusing on depression in youth. It provides useful information for adolescents and their parents, including how to get help and several fact sheets on anxiety and stress. Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/05/200606/04/201151111Legal & FinancialLegal & FinancialLinks - legal & financial000This page provides links to a variety of legal and financial resources.0Green0-100-30This page provides links to a variety of legal and financial resources.LegalFamily Court of Australia  Provides a step by step guide to the proceedings in the Family CourtFamily Law Online  Provides family law and referral information and includes family law system information from both government agencies and government funded organisations.Law for YouPlain english legal information for AustraliaLaw Council of AustraliaInformation about different areas of Family Law including children and parenting, marriage and separation, and property dispute. Provides assistance finding a family lawyer or arbitrator.Child and Youth Health - Children's, Youth and Women's Health Service  Provides a range of topics on parent's rights and legal issues for children, young people and families.Family Relationships OnlineProvides information to key changes to the Family Law SystemFinancialCentrelink  The Financial Information Service produces a range of factsheets with detailed information about specific financial issues and savings planners which assist you to budget for savings.Commonwealth Financial Counselling Program (CFCP)  Information about how financial councelling services may help and how to access services.Child Support Agency  Administers the Child Support Scheme and helps separated parents manage the responsibility of financial support for their children.Australian Securities & Investments Commission  Tips for managing your money from an independent, reputable source.Child and Youth Health - Children's, Youth and Women's Health Service  Topics and information on managing your financesMedicare AustraliaInformation about services and assistance schemes including special assistance, compensation, pharmaceutical benefits scheme (PBS), private health insurance rebates and more. Information translated into languages other than English available.FaCSIA Carers Website  General overview of carer allowance and carer payment, respite services for carers of young people with a disability, and carer contacts.Centrelink Disability and Carer Payment Factsheets  Centrelink payment and entitlement information for disability and carer allowances.EmploymentAustralian JobSearch One of Australia's largest online job boards allowing you to search for job vacancies across Australia. JobSearch has an ongoing commitment to assisting people into employment and is provided by the Commonwealth Department of Employment and Workplace Relations. Whether you are looking for a job, a career change or a volunteering opportunity then JobSearch can help.Department of Education, Employment and Workplace RelationsDetailed information about employment and workplace programs and services funded by the Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/5/200612/5/201041111Professional linksProfessionalLinks - professional000This page provides links to a variety of resources for education, child care and health professionals.0Green0-100-30This page provides links to a variety of resources for education, child care and health professionals. A range of resources especially for professionals is available from the Early Childhood Connections website, including information on child care and children's health, a conferences directory and a dedicated links directory.HealthAustralian General Practice Network Infrastructure and support for integrated, quality primary health care services delivered through general practice.Australian Association for Infant Mental Health   Information and resources focusing on the importance of infant-caregiver relationships within family, community and cultural environments.Australian Institute of Family Studies   The national research and information agency on children and families in Australia. Includes research, publications, online library, and further links and resources for professionals.Australian Association for the Welfare of Child Health    Services, resources and information relating to families emotional and social needs and the health care system. Includes directory for paediatric support groups and other resources to assist  children and their families.Australian Childhood Foundation   Programs and information for professionals, children and parents aimed to help prevent child abuse, neglect and family violence.Australian Research Alliance for Children and Youth   A national collaboration of eminent experts disseminating knowledge about problems and solutions to issues affecting children and young people.  Early Childhood Intervention Australia Inc   National forum for promotion of early intervention for infants and young children with developmental delays or disabilities and their families, including workshops, seminars and conferences to facilitate quality service provision.Family Relationship Services Australia   National industry body for family relationships services and other family support, mediation and education.Federation of Ethnic Communities' Councils of Australia Inc.   Australia's national peak body for promotion of multiculturalism. Provides community education and links to multicultural organisations and services .Kidsafe   Dedicated to prevention of unintentional injuries in children under 15 years. Includes fact-sheets in languages other than English.National Association for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect   Provides free of charge community education material and pamphlets in several languages on: parenting, prevention of abuse and neglect; drugs and alcohol, disabilities, domestic violence, Aboriginal story posters and more.Pharmacy Guild of Australia   A pharmaceurical industry body involved in  communications, finance, quality care pharmacy program, health economics, industrial relations and training, economic analysis and information technology, strategic policy and professional services and research.Secretariat National Aboriginal Islander Child Care    National body for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Children's Services providing  reports, resources and policy papers and service directory.Domestic Violence Resource Centre   Comprehensive resource for family violence and sexual abuse including national service directory.Medicare Australia   Resources, program information, forms,  and more, for healthcare providers and pharmacists.National Disability Services (NDS)NDS is the national industry association for disability services, representing over 650 not-for-profit organisations. NDS aims to facilitate efficient and effective operation of disability services.EducationFamily Day Care Australia  The national peak body for the Family Day Care program. Works on behalf of all members of the Family Day Care Community.  Australian Research Alliance for Children and Youth   A national collaboration of eminent experts disseminating knowledge about problems and solutions to issues affecting children and young people.EdNA Online - Education Network Australia   Provides a directory about education and training in Australia and a database of web-based resources useful for teaching and learning.Australian Association for Infant Mental Health   Information and resources focusing on the importance of infant-caregiver relationships within family, community and cultural environments.Australian Institute of Family Studies   The national research and information agency on children and families in Australia. Includes research, publications, online library, and further links and resources for professionals.National Association for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect   Provides free of charge community education material and pamphlets in several languages on: parenting, prevention of abuse and neglect; drugs and alcohol, disabilities, domestic violence, Aboriginal story posters and more.FKA Children's Services  Provides advice, consultancy, training and resources with aims to foster positive attitudes amongst providers and staff in children's services towards the development of multicultural perspectives in their services and programs.National Childcare Accreditation Council   Provides information about childcare for parents and professionals and administers the qualityimprovement and accredication for long day care and family day care schemes.Secretariat National Aboriginal Islander Child Care    National body for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Children's Services providing reports, resources and policy papers and service directory.Family Action Centre University of Newcastle Resources for better involving fathers in child care and information about the Engaging Fathers program at University of Newcastle and the National Father Inclusive Practice Framework. This framework provides information to help practitioners in health,education, welfare and childcare to encourage fathers to participate in their services.Centre for Equity and Innovation in Early Childhood University of Melbourne  Wide range of resources for childcare workers working with gay and lesbian families.Early Childhood Australia Incorporated (ECA)   Information and resources for early childhood professionals working with children from birth to eight.National Disability Services (NDS)  NDS is the national industry association for disability services, representing over 650 not-for-profit organisations. NDS aims to facilitate efficient and effective operation of disability services.Australian Childhood Foundation   Programs and information for professionals, children and parents aimed to help prevent child abuse, neglect and family violence.Domestic Violence Resource Centre   Comprehensive resource for family violence and sexual abuse including national service directory.National Out of School Hours Services Association   National body which promotes quality programs for school age children during out of school hours and resources for carers.Workventures   A source of low-cost computers for non-profit organisations, and further community service and training programs in NSW.Kidsafe   Dedicated to prevention of unintentional injuries in children under 15 years. Includes fact-sheets in languages other than English.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/5/200612/5/201031111What’s legal when: teenagers and the lawLegal age and teenagersWhat’s legal whenLegal age – teenagers000A listing of websites and organisations that provide legal services, advice and information about teenagers and the law to young people, teenagers and adolescent children in Australia.0established0-100-30The laws that apply to teenagers vary from state to state. The websites and services listed in this article can help you answer legal questions about the teenage years.As your child grows up and becomes more independent, you might be wondering how old he needs to be before he can do things like open a bank account, join a political party, get a tattoo, consent to medical treatment, learn to drive, get a part-time job, or be left at home alone. Some of these issues are covered by law, and the laws vary from state to state.Laws limit what children and teenagers can do, but laws also give children rights. When children turn 18, they have the same legal rights as an adult. Before then, they also have rights that can be enforced.NationalACTNew South WalesNorthern TerritoryQueenslandSouth AustraliaTasmaniaVictoriaWestern AustraliaNationalLawstuffThis website provides information about child laws throughout Australia. It’s run by the National Children’s and Youth Law Centre and covers common legal questions that you or your child might have.National Children’s and Youth Law CentreThis is a free, independent community legal centre for children and young people. It has a special focus on people most disadvantaged under the law.UN Convention on the Rights of the ChildThis website provides information on the Convention, which spells out the basic human rights that all children have. These are the rights to survive, to develop to the fullest, to be protected from harmful influences, abuse and exploitation, and to participate fully in family, cultural and social life.The Convention protects children’s rights by setting standards in health care, education, and legal, civil and social services.What’s Up Croc?This website covers Australia’s implementation of the Convention on the Rights of the Child.ACTYouth Law Centre ACTThis is a legal service for young people in the ACT. It provides free and confidential legal advice in person, over the phone – (02) 6173 5410) – or by email.New South WalesYouth NSWThis website covers information about a range of topics for children and young people. It also provides links related to the law and legal rights for young people in New South Wales.Northern TerritoryNorthern Territory Legal Aid – What age can I?This information covers what’s legal when for young people in the Northern Territory.QueenslandLegal Aid QueenslandThis organisation can provide legal aid and help for young people in Queensland.South AustraliaLegal Services Commission of South Australia The information on this webpage covers children and the law in South Australia.TasmaniaLegal Aid TasmaniaThe information on this webpage covers the law for under-18s in Tasmania.VictoriaLegal Aid Victoria – Youth issuesThis webpage provides information on common legal issues for children in Victoria, covering what they can and can’t do because of their age.YouthlawThis is a specialist community legal centre for young people in Victoria. It provides free and confidential legal advice.Youth CentralThis webpage covers rights for young people in Victoria.Western AustraliaYouth Legal ServiceThis organisation provides legal services for young people in Western Australia.Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articles11/5/201111/11/20123/5/2011141081801111yes00Breastfeeding: how dads can helpHelping with breastfeeding1000Green0-100-30Simply by showing your approval and enthusiasm for breastfeeding you are doing your partner and your baby a huge favour. Breastfeeding may be easier when the breastfeeding mother knows she has the support of her partner, extended family and friends.The more you read about breastfeeding, the more apparent the benefits are.You may not be able to feed your baby, but there are plenty of other ways you can have meaningful contact with her. Giving her a bath, changing her nappy or having a play are all wonderful ways for you to bond with your baby. It also gives your partner a break that she’ll probably really appreciate. It can really help in the early days if you look after the baby as often as you can; that way you can give her mum a bit of time out.Helping with housework or cooking is another way to support your partner. And when your partner is breastfeeding, you can be there with a glass of water and a quiet chat if needed.RightVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Breastfeeding Association. Just for Fathers. Retrieved February 21st, 2006 from www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/father.htmlBornstein, M.H. (2002). Parenting infants. In M.H. Bornstein (ed), The parenting handbook, vol 1, 3-44. NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.Scott, J.A., & Binns, C.W. (1998). Factors associated with the initiation and duration of breastfeeding: A review of the literature. Australian Journal of Nutrition and Dietetics, 55(2), 51-61.16/5/20066/9/201116/5/2006081111/articles/dads_help_breastfeeding.htmlBathWork and family: dads finding a balanceDads: balancing work & family100Advice on how a father can maintain a good work/family balance, including tips from other dads.0Green0-100-30Many dads report experiencing high stress, insufficient time for family and a strong belief that the major barrier to being an effective parent is paid work.Do you have a good work/family balance?If you are a dad you will probably want to:enjoy time with your children while they are youngdevelop a strong relationship with your childrenhelp with your children’s careearn enough money to do the things you want to doenjoy and have satisfaction from your workbe a positive influence on your children, guide, teach and support them.Decide what you wantThere is no ‘perfect’ balance. Every family is different, you need to work out a balance that suits your particular family and work situation. Talk with your partner about the type of parents you both want to be. Your chances of finding a good balance are greater when you work together.Think about how you spend your time and use it on things you know are important to you and your children. Be flexible about balancing your work and family. As your kids get older their needs will change and you may need to change your approach. And, remember to leave regular time for yourself so you will have plenty of energy for your children.What some dads say‘It’s not easy – but it’s worth it!’ (John, kids aged 6 and 8)‘A good balance of work and family enables me to spend time with my kids, and that’s the best part of being a Dad’. (Ben, children aged 13, 15 and 17)‘Be very clear what role you want to play within your family, particularly in relation to the raising and parenting of your children’. (Simon, child aged 2½)‘Don’t neglect your relationship with your partner, continue to work together and develop your relationship’. (Alec, children aged 6 months and 2)‘If balancing work and family becomes difficult, share this with those closest to you, being a good dad is not about doing it all alone’. (Dean, kids aged 7 and 11)‘Take advantage of the time with your children. Don’t allow it to pass by without being involved and enjoying the moments. This time will pass by very quickly and you cannot have it over again’. (Richard, children aged 18 and 23) Tips from other dadsTake time off when your baby is born to help your partner and get to know your baby.Help care for your child – such as getting up in the night, feeding, dressing, washing nappies, as well as playing and reading. Practise builds confidence as well as skill.Spend time with your children, doing the things they want to do. Make it ‘your time’ with them. It’s a great way to listen to them, find out about their world and show you are interested in them.Be involved in important childhood events, such as birthdays or special times at child care and school.Tell your children about your work – where it is, what you do, what happened to you today. You could call them from work, take them in and show them around.Before you get home from work, do things that get you ready to be with your child, such as going for a short walk or getting changed. Think about your kids and be ready to give them the attention they need.Be involved in their regular activities. Take them to playgroup, drop them to child care/school, volunteer for parent help (kids love it when dads come along), help with homework, sport or music. Get to know their friends.Talk to your employer about your family needs. Tell them how important your role as a father is to you and that at times you may need some flexibility.Explore the family-friendly policies your work offers. What will suit you and your family?Look at the hours you work, is there room for change? ‘I worked part-time for a while to be with our baby. It was the best thing I did’. (Peter, child aged 18 months)Talk to your friends and find out what they do to balance work and family.Benefits of a good balanceChildren with dads who are involved and interested in their lives are more likely to feel secure, confident and happy. ‘My children need me to guide, teach and support them, and I can only do that if I am available to them’. (Stefan, children aged 6 and 10)You can develop a better relationship with your child and your partner. ‘Enjoy time with your kids; you only have one opportunity to be there as they grow up’.  (James, children aged 10, 13 and 15)If you have a fulfilled family life you are likely to be happier at work.A strong commitment to both work and family will provide you with satisfaction and fulfilment in both areas of your life. ‘Make the serious decisions now, before you regret it’. (Phil, children aged 17 and 19)Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles8/5/2006091111/articles/dads_work_and_family_balance.htmlCaring for someone with postnatal depressionCaring for someone with PNDPostnatal depression - caring for your partner000A guide to strategies for supporting women with postnatal depression (PND), plus information on the effects of PND on women's partners. Includes tips for partners of women with PND on getting support for themselves. Also includes information on postpartum psychosis.0Green0-100-30Having a baby is a time of joy, but adjusting to a new baby in the family can be very stressful and demanding for both parents. Postnatal depression (PND) can make this time even more confusing and distressing. But there are ways to support a woman suffering from PND.What will it mean for you?Ways to help your partnerProblems that might arise for youSupport for yourselfDanger signs to look forWhen your partner has postpartum psychosisFor the futureWhat will it mean for you?Be aware that many of the stressors or problems that you perceive during the period of PND might not be an indicator of your relationship. Rather, they’re consequences of the illness. Your partner might be saying or feeling things that she doesn’t really mean. These might be symptoms of the illness and the way she’s feeling at the time. It can help to understand that this is the PND talking. Try not to take these things personally.You might feel very worried or concerned about the wellbeing of your partner or her ability to look after your baby and any other children. This experience might be the first contact you’ve ever had with mental illness. You might not even have heard of PND before. You might find it more difficult to leave your partner and go to work. Or you might find that she calls you frequently or tells you to come home from work. A woman with PND might lose interest in having sex with her partner. Try not to take it personally if your partner doesn’t feel like having sex. She might be feeling inadequate or self-conscious about her body or her ability to be fully involved in this intimate aspect of your relationship. Other factors such as her recovery from the pregnancy or childbirth, the effect of medication on libido, and her fear of subsequent pregnancy might also be issues. Ways to help your partnerSometimes it can be very difficult to know how to help your partner. You might feel that whatever you say or do isn’t helping her to feel better. You might feel that you’ve tried many different things that haven’t worked.Although it’s natural to feel that you should be able to help fix your partner’s distress, she’ll need more treatment and support than you can provide. Try to focus on providing practical and emotional support, and ensure that she receives these extra services.Providing support for her treatmentMake sure that your partner has sought proper medical assessment and ongoing monitoring. Also check that she’s accessing other support resources such as counselling, support groups or helpful friends and family. If possible, try to go with her to her medical appointments and be actively involved in her treatment (in most cases). Ultimately the decisions about her care will be hers, but you can still discuss the options and the advice of her treating health care professional together, and decide on the best course of treatment.Don’t be afraid to ask your doctor or health worker for accurate information about PND and its treatment. Getting information about PND is important for you to understand some of the symptoms of the illness. It will also help you to be aware of what might be the most supportive way to help your partner and yourself. There might be times when you will question the validity of the illness. Be assured that PND and its symptoms are very real for your partner. With proper treatment, it can be resolved.Taking medication can present issues of concern for many people. You might like to learn about the medication and how it should be taken. Talk to the doctor, pharmacist or drug information lines. Try to be supportive if medication is required. Encourage your partner to take it until the doctor says otherwise. This is very important for her recovery.If it’s suggested that your partner be admitted to hospital or a mother-baby unit, this can seem very scary for you both. Be assured that she’ll receive appropriate treatment that will be necessary for her recovery. Having the baby with her ensures that the mother-baby relationship is not interrupted and can be enhanced by the stay in hospital. Make the most of visiting times to maintain your contact with your partner and baby. Going home to an empty house, which you expect to be filled with your partner and baby, can be very disheartening. You could use this time to catch up on some rest. You could also spend time with your other children if this isn’t your first baby.Providing emotional supportDon’t worry if you feel that you don’t know what to say. It’s a difficult time for you both. You’ll learn the best way to deal with it together. Try to be patient and reassuring. This might be better than responding with logic and advice, which your partner might misunderstand. It could also make her feel more incompetent.Try to validate her experiences or worries and understand that they’re very real for her. This is the case even if you think her concerns aren’t warranted.Encourage her to express her feelings and not bottle them up. Be prepared to listen to her talking, even if you feel that you’re hearing the same things over and over. Try to remember that she might not need you to fix things or to offer her a solution. She might just want you to listen and let her know that you’ve heard her.Try not to be discouraged if she seems withdrawn or you don’t get a response from her. There will be a time when she can respond and will be able to express gratitude for your support.Encourage and support her accomplishments, even the little things. Knowing that you’re OK with whatever she can manage, and that you will chip in when you can, can be enormously supportive.Try not to tell her that she’s lazy if the housework isn’t done and she’s resting. She might be feeling exhausted, which is a very common symptom of PND. Rest is very important for you both. Other things can wait.At all times, be reassuring of her relationship with your baby. There might be times when she struggles to take care of the baby herself and you or others need to take over. Always reassure her that she is the baby’s mother. There will come a day when she can care for the baby fully herself.Try to avoid making any major decisions while your partner has PND (for example, buying a house). If possible, wait until she recovers. You might find that many of the problems or issues that you thought existed start to resolve themselves as your partner recovers.You will be told that PND is temporary, but she might feel that it will never go away (which is a symptom of the illness). It will help to reassure her if you say something like, ‘I understand that you feel bad now, but the doctor believes that you will return to your old self again’. This might be better than saying, ‘Don’t worry about it. You will get over it’.Also try to reassure your partner that you’ll stand by her. One of her fears might be that you’ll tire of her and the illness and leave. Try to reassure your partner that you’re OK if she isn’t interested in sex for the time being. Touching or cuddling might be more comfortable at this time, without leading to sex. It’s important that you both communicate what you want and how you feel. If sex is still an issue, perhaps you could talk it over with your medical practitioner.Providing practical supportTry to help out with the housework and baby care as much as you can. This might be difficult if you work long hours, but your partner will benefit from any involvement that you can give. Identify a task that you can make a part of your routine – for example, bathing the baby.If family members offer help, make sure that you take it. There is nothing wrong with allowing others to help with things such as housework or shopping.Offer to cook dinner or pick up take-away food. Problems that might arise for youYou might feel more tired or exhausted if your sleep is disturbed, or you’re worried about the wellbeing of your partner.You might feel anxious and confused about what’s happening to your partner and whether she and the baby will be OK.You might feel a sense of loss that the woman you knew has gone and that you don’t know how to help her come back. You might feel that the demands of your home life and the extra responsibilities of caring for the children are impinging on your time and demands at work. You might also feel concerned about your family finances, especially if you’re needed more at home. You might feel like you want to withdraw from your partner and home life by spending long hours at work. You might also feel like increasing your use of drugs and alcohol. Try to avoid these situations. They are likely to cause additional problems.You might be experiencing a loss of social contacts and feeling unsupported. This can happen as the need for you to be at home and cope with other family demands increase. There is a risk of depression in men after childbirth (the estimates are around 10%), especially if you’ve experienced depression before. Having a partner with depression and the extra stress and responsibility you face might also put you at risk. Make sure that you look after yourself and build your own support network.Support for yourselfDon’t forget that you need special attention at this time too. Make sure that you have someone you can talk to about your concerns and frustrations – for example, a trusted family member, friend or your doctor.Give yourself credit for what you’re doing. It’s OK for you to feel disappointed or frustrated about the situation, without feeling guilty. It’s natural to feel this way, because things aren’t going the way you expected. Try not to let these feelings get the better of you, and avoid expressing anger and resentment towards your partner.Try not to feel that you have to do everything yourself. If you need a break, get a friend or family member to be with your partner and baby if necessary. Make sure that you get help as a family. PND affects you as a family. You should get help that benefits all of you.Don’t blame yourself. PND is no-one’s fault.Get plenty of rest. You might be waking up frequently throughout the night to tend to the demands of the baby, or your partner’s sleeplessness might be disturbing you. If so, you’ll need to catch up on your rest and sleep at other times.This is temporary. Your partner will recover with the appropriate help.Danger signs to look forAlways trust your instincts if you become more concerned about your partner’s wellbeing, your children’s wellbeing, or any deterioration in her PND. It might mean that you need to contact her doctor or support services directly to let them know or to seek advice. For example, your partner might show any of the following signs and symptoms:talk of harming herself or the babybizarre thoughts or speech patterns, or risk-taking behaviourbehaviour that seems odd or is out of charactersevere changes in moodwithdrawal from all social contactextreme despairobsession with morbid ideas, or statements like, ‘You’d be better off without me’.When your partner has postpartum psychosisThis is an extremely uncommon and difficult time for you and your partner. Communication with your partner will be affected if her thoughts are confused, if she’s saying things that don’t make sense, or if she has delusions or hallucinations. Once your partner is receiving care, it can be a good idea to seek counselling yourself. You’ll be very affected, and you’ll also have many questions. Try to find a trusted health professional for yourself. Some things your partner says might seem highly distressing or inappropriate, but try to remember that this is her illness talking. With appropriate treatment and support, the rate of full recovery is high.You will one day have back the woman that you knew.For the futureIf you are planning future pregnancies, be sure to consult your health professional for medical guidance. There is a higher risk of PND once a woman has already experienced it. Most medical practitioners recommend a woman should have discontinued medication for at least a year before attempting a subsequent pregnancy. PND is very treatable and has an excellent prognosis for full recovery. It can sometimes take many months. But if you persevere, you’ll be rewarded with the family you’ve been waiting for.Rightdid you knowpractical ways to help new mothersIf you’re a new father whose partner is suffering from PND, it can be hard to know what to do.A good place to start is with the basics. The dads and mums in this short video have lots of practical suggestions for helping with everyday activities like feeding, changing and settling baby, and giving mum time to rest. Dads also share their experiences of supporting their partners in the period following birth.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesBishop, L. (1999). Postnatal depression: Families in turmoil. Halstead Press: NSW.Buist, A. (1996). Psychiatric disorders associated with childbirth: A guide to management. McGraw Hill: Sydney.Dalton, K. (1996). Depression after childbirth. Oxford University Press: Oxford.Hamilton, J.A., & Harberger, P.N. (Eds) (1992). Postpartum psychiatric illness: A picture puzzle. University of Pennsylvania Press: Philadelphia.Kleiman, KR., & Raskin, V. D. (1994). This isn’t what I expected: Overcoming postpartum depression. Bantum: USA.Article developed in collaboration with Dr Richard Fletcher, Leader, Fathers and Families Research Program.15/5/200611/2/2011101111The birth: what fathers can expectBirth for dadsBirth - for fathers000A guide to the birth experience for fathers, including tips on how to prepare, what to take to hospital and bringing baby home.0Green0-100-30The birth of a new baby can be joyful but also confronting and challenging for fathers. It can be helpful to prepare yourself physically and emotionally for this life-changing event.The birthNew fathers who have been part of the birth process report a range of experiences, from it being the greatest event in their lives to horror at seeing their partner in extreme pain. They have strong thoughts and feelings about the birth process, which they might not tell anyone about. These thoughts and feelings can be intensified if the birth didn’t go as planned or there were difficulties for the mother or baby. If this is the case, it’s a good idea to find someone you can talk to about these feelings.If you plan to be with your partner for the birth of your baby, it’s worth being prepared. Some new dads take a ‘hospital kit’, which might include:camera, spare film and batteries/chargera supply of energy food and drinkssomething to read, a pack of cards and music to help pass the time if it’s slow goingclean clothes, tooth brush, toiletries, medication and glassesloose change for vending machines, telephone and parkingmobile phonea note pad and penbaby capsule with anchor points securely fitted in car.After the birthMost new parents feel a bit ‘all over the place’ after the birth. They often feel excited about the new baby but overwhelmed and exhausted by the birth. Many are relieved the ordeal is over and they have a chance to rest. Some new dads now start thinking about the responsibility that lies ahead as a father.This mixture of thoughts and feelings can be confusing. This is normal and you should try to get some rest when possible. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility, talk to your partner, a friend or a relative who has children and knows what you’re talking about.Bringing baby home from hospitalIt’s a good idea to think about who you can ask for advice and practical support when your baby is born. Support can include shopping, meal preparation and taking care of other children. Try to have this organised so it’s ready to go when you leave hospital.When they first have children, many men feel they’re on the outside looking in. Sometimes, men have to work hard to feel included in the processes of birth, breastfeeding and looking after babies. If you feel like this, it can help to talk to other men who might have had the same experience. Rightdid you knowMany new dads organise time off work for the birth of their baby. When thinking about this, you should:discuss it with your partnerdiscuss it with your employerdecide how much time you'll take off during and after the birth.Remember that you may want or need to extend your leave after the birth. Video TranscriptsRelated articles8/5/2006011111Handling your new baby: ideas for fathersHandling your baby100An introduction to baby handling skills for fathers, with information on why it is important for fathers to be involved in the care of their newborns.0Green0-100-30Some dads think that their partners are much better at baby handling skills such as changing nappies, bathing and settling them to sleep.Could this be because your partner has more opportunity to practise these skills? This is why it is so important for you to be involved in all of these activities.Each of you will handle your baby differently:Differences in handling have a positive influence on your baby's brain development.Differences can result in improved coordination in your baby, which can be beneficial in physical development and sporting skills.Dad’s involvement is important in the development of bonding between father and child.Sharing the load allows both mother and father to have a break.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles8/5/20068/5/2006031111/articles/becoming_a_dad.htmlFathers: understanding how your baby learnsHow baby learns0000Green0-100-30This article has been permanently archived. To search for related information, please use our A-Z Power Search.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles8/5/200620/3/20080001Fathers: getting to know your babyGetting to know your baby100Practical tips on ways dads can bond with their new baby.0Green0-100-30During pregnancy and birth, some fathers can find it difficult to form a relationship with their baby. Once your baby arrives, you can form a bond by being involved in daily care activities and breastfeeding.Bonding through daily careFathers can do many things to assist in building relationships with their babies. For example, bathing your baby can really assist with bonding and help you learn your baby's language. Changing nappies, despite the sight and smell, is a great way to develop a strong physical and emotional relationship with your child. You can also cuddle your baby while he’s awake, and play simple games with him – even if he’s only a few days old.Supporting breastfeedingIf their partners are breastfeeding, some fathers can find that bonding with their baby takes longer. But you can become involved in the process of breastfeeding by supporting your partner. If you want to give your child a great start in life and your partner can breastfeed, your encouragement can make a big difference.If you feel that the breastfeeding is impacting on your relationship with your partner, talk to each other about it. If your family is having difficulties with breastfeeding, you can speak to:the maternity hospital you attendedthe local Child Health Nursethe Australian Breastfeeding Association.Dads report that when they are able to talk about their feelings with their partners, they are able to deal with breastfeeding issues in a helpful way.Rightdid you knowResearch into breastfeeding shows that:mothers are more likely to continue breastfeeding if the father is supportive.the antibodies in breastmilk protect against upper respiratory and ear infection, which is very common in babies.women who breastfeed have a lower rate of breast cancer.Video TranscriptsRelated articles8/5/2006021111/articles/becoming_a_dad.htmlFathers: your relationship with your partnerRelationship with your partner100A discussion of the relationship changes often caused by a baby's arrival, with suggestions for handling the stress caused by such changes.0Green0-100-30After their baby is born, couples may experience changes in their relationship, including new closeness, increased stresses, reduced sexual contact, altered work roles and increased involvement from the extended family. If you are finding these changes difficult, the most positive way to address them is by talking to your partner.Increased stressYour sexual relationshipWork rolesExtended familiesIncreased stressMany couples experience relationship changes after the birth of a baby. In the days after the birth, when they are excited about the baby, couples often talk about feeling closer. After a period of time, usually about a month, couples often report an increase in arguments and stress. This can be for many reasons including interrupted sleep and the increase in household chores that can’t be postponed. Each partner can also feel they are the one making all the concessions because of the changes that they have experienced.You can deal with this increased stress in different ways. Some new fathers deal with it by getting home from work later and later in order to avoid the arguments. This will not resolve the issues, and in fact could make them worse. A more positive step is to talk with your wife or partner about how you can both manage these changes.Postnatal stress and depressionPostnatal stress and depression affects both new mothers and new fathers.If you are concerned that you or your partner may be dealing with depression, it is very important to seek professional support quickly for the benefit of yourself, your partner and your baby. If concerned contact your Child Health Nurse or your GP.Your sexual relationshipAfter the birth of their babies, many men talk about changes in their sexual relationship. This often means their desire to re-establish closeness, both physical and emotional. For some, the need to do so arises because of the birth experience, breastfeeding and other issues such as:physical changeschange in the way couples view their sexuality, which might be different for each partnersome women’s feelings of being 'all touched out'the confusion between the use of breasts for nutrition and their use in sexual intimacyPostnatal Depression (PND) – research has shown that there is a significant decrease in sexual interest when a person is depressed and/or using medication.Many couples report that these are difficult issues to discuss. It can help to use a counsellor to provide a neutral and safe place for these discussions.Work rolesIt is very important for couples to discuss their roles within and outside the home. For example, if a father wants to be closely involved with his children, it isn’t healthy for him to work a 50-hour week. Similarly, it’s not healthy for a mother to be at home full time if her work is important to her and she gets unhappy at home.Research has shown that it does not matter who takes on what roles as long as each person is happy with their roles. It is useful for couples to discuss what they want to take on and come to some agreement.Extended familiesExtended family on both sides can be very supportive but sometimes they can be intrusive. This is often a delicate issue at the time of a new baby because each partner may like to have the support of his or her own family. It is useful to discuss and negotiate this issue as a couple, so that extended family involvement can be managed in a way that is sensitive to the needs of everyone.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles8/5/2006071111/articles/becoming_a_dad.htmlFathers: playing with babiesPlaying with babies100An introduction to how playing with babies can help them grow and develop.0Green0-100-30Babies learn through play and take in information through touch, taste, sight, hearing and smell. In the early months and beyond, these senses provide the information that your baby will use to feel reassured and comforted and be stimulated to grow.As a dad, playing with your baby is vital, and helps your baby develop physically, intellectually and emotionally. You will also both enjoy it and have fun!Play ideas'Tummy time' - placing babies flat on their stomach to play - is beneficial for muscular and brain development. Babies may need extra entertainment during tummy time.Variations in types of play and toys help build skills in different areas. For example, rattles build physical strength and hand–eye coordination.Using words, rhymes and stories builds the brains’ storage of language and memory.Peek-a-boo with dad can build communication and expression of emotions.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles8/5/2006051111/articles/special_dad_time.htmlBabies and sleep: what fathers need to knowBabies and sleep100An introduction to babies’ sleep needs and cycles.0Green0-100-30This article has been permanently archived. To search for related information, please use our A-Z Power Search.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles8/8/200623/8/2010060001Men and postnatal depressionMen & PNDPostnatal depression - menMen - suffering from postnatal depression000How postnatal depression can affect fathersA summary of postnatal depression (PND) in fathers, the symptoms of paternal postnatal depression, how the effects of PND on men differ from the effects of PND on women, risk factors for PND in men, and how fathers can recognise paternal PND and deal with men's PND.0Green0-100-30There’s a widespread belief that antenatal and postnatal depression (PND) are experienced only by women, but research and anecdotal evidence suggest that PND can affect fathers too. Men suffering from PND need help and support to recover.Facts about men who have PNDContributing factors to paternal PNDRisk factorsSymptomsFathers’ experiencesEffects on child developmentSeeking helpFacts about men who have PNDAround 3-10% of men will experience depression during the antenatal and postnatal period. Many people think that men experience postnatal depression (PND) as a result of, or in conjunction with, their partner’s depression, but men can experience this independently from their partners. Although PND in mothers is the strongest predictor of partners having it too, it doesn’t always happen this way. Depression in new fathers has been found to begin before the birth of their child, with minimal recovery by the end of the first year. There’s also evidence to suggest that men’s depression increases between six weeks and six months after childbirth. For example, one study found that three out of 10 men were depressed at six weeks, and that their depression got worse during the next six months. There is also growing evidence that anxiety might be a problem for some men during the antenatal and postnatal period.New fathers don’t access the sort of services that new mothers do. They don’t tend to see their doctor, maternal and child health nurse or midwife, which is where problems are often picked up in women.As with women, it’s important that PND in fathers is recognised and treated early and effectively. This will help avoid long-term effects on the father’s mental health and his relationships with his partner, children, family and friends.Contributing factors to paternal PNDAs with all forms of depression, there’s a range of physical, social and emotional factors that contribute to the development of paternal PND. Some factors that contribute to men experiencing PND are the same for women. Factors common to men and women can include:a lack of social and emotional supportpersonality characteristicsstress and changes in relationships (particularly the couple relationship)a lack of sleeploss and grief issuesdifficulty adjusting to the changes associated with the transition to parenthoodunmet prenatal expectationsa negative or traumatic birth experience (the way men experience childbirth might have some influence on their subsequent emotional wellbeing).Other factors are specific to men. These can include:the impact of changing social roles for fathers in the familyattitudes towards fatherhood and masculinity – men are less likely to talk about how they feel, and it’s important to them that they seem like they’re copinga change in family dynamics – some men might feel excluded from the parenting role or from the relationship with their partner, which can result in resentment towards the babyworries about extra responsibilities, financial burdens and managing the stress of workunmet expectations about having sex again in the early postnatal periodpregnancy, particularly early on – this appears to be the most stressful period for a man in the transition to fatherhood. This might be because of the changes in his partner’s body, how supported and included he feels, concern about the impending changes to his life, and feelings of uncertainty about his role in caring for his partnera lack of opportunities to bond with the baby until after birth, unlike mothers, who can bond during the pregnancy.Some men experience PND in conjunction with their partner’s depression, and studies have shown that maternal and paternal depression are highly correlated. Men report that their partner’s PND causes disruption in their lives and their relationship with their partner. Male partners can experience fear, confusion and a sense of helplessness that they’re unable to help the baby’s mother overcome her depression. They can also feel a sense of disconnection and alienation from their partner.Men experience PND as overwhelming, isolating, stigmatising and frustrating.Risk factorsSome of the known risk factors associated with paternal PND include:a man’s partner experiencing PNDa previous history of depressionmarital problemslow self-esteemfeelings of incompetence in the parenting rolefirst-time fatherhoodinfant irritability.Some men mightn’t be able to identify any PND risk factors in their lives, but they still develop PND. Paternal PND can affect men of all ages, personality types and economic status.SymptomsSymptoms of PND in men include:tiredness, headaches and painirritability, anxiety and angerloss of libidochanges in appetitefeelings of being overwhelmed, out of control and unable to copea tendency to take riskschanges to sleep patterns, especially a lack of sleepfeelings of isolation and disconnection from partner, friends or familywithdrawal from intimate relationships and from family, friends and community lifeincreased hours of work as a part of the withdrawal from familyincreased use of drugs or alcohol instead of seeking treatment for depression.Note: paternal PND is still unrecognised in psychiatric diagnostic literature. It’s assumed that some of the symptoms of paternal PND are similar to those in maternal PND. But it’s believed that paternal PND is much more variable and inconsistent than maternal PND.Often, a man’s mates are the first to notice symptoms of depression (such as not turning up to social events, or being unusually cranky or down). If you notice these symptoms in a mate, ring Mensline or Lifeline. You can also try asking your friend about his feelings. Let him know you think it’s smart to get help, both for him and his kids. Fathers’ experiencesSome fathers describe their experience of PND as feeling trapped, almost like pacing in a cage. They feel extremely alone in their situation and don’t know how to get out.Other fathers experience PND as being overcome with anger and rage. They feel angry at their partners, children or other family members. They can feel confused about their feelings and are often shocked at their own behaviour.Some are overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. They feel their lives and sense of self might never return to normal.Some fathers feel disappointed by their experience of fatherhood. They feel they’ve failed in their role as a father, and that they’ve let themselves, their children or partners down. They might feel that fatherhood hasn’t been what they expected and feel let down themselves. Effects on child developmentPaternal PND can have specific and long-lasting negative effects on children’s development if the PND symptoms remain untreated over a long period of time.Research has shown that depression in fathers in the postnatal period is associated with poorer social and emotional behavioural outcomes in children at age three – particularly in boys – even when the mother doesn’t have PND.Men with depression are also less likely to read to or play with their children.Seeking helpIf you’re a man experiencing PND, some strategies and treatment options are available:Contact support organisations or referral services for men experiencing PND and their families.Visit your doctor for a full medical and mental health assessment, to clearly establish what’s going on.Ask your doctor for a referral to a psychologist or psychiatrist who specialises in PND – you might be eligible for Medicare rebates.Seek extra support – go along to your baby’s next maternal and child health nurse appointment and discuss your situation with the nurse. She might be aware of other local services.Seek support groups. It’s very common for women experiencing PND to attend support groups, but there are very few groups established for men. These groups can be immensely beneficial, so it might be worth alerting your community health care centre to this gap, or talking to PANDA (Post and Antenatal Depression Association) about setting one up in your area.Consider antidepressant medication to help reduce some of the symptoms. These medications are effective for many people, especially in conjunction with counselling. They are preferable to the use of alcohol or illicit drugs. Your doctor, pharmacist or a drug information helpline will be able to provide more information.Seek emotional and practical support from your partner, family and friends, work colleagues, and anyone who is willing to help. The nature of depression will probably mean you feel isolated and alone. Asking for help, talking things through, and even just spending more time with the people you love – these things can help you reconnect with your positive feelings again.Remember to be kind to yourself.Keep in mind that there is a way out and you’re not alone. There is help available. With the appropriate treatment, you can begin to feel better and start to enjoy being a new father.Rightdid you knowhow fathers' roles are changingOne of the factors specific to men’s experience of PND is the changing roles of modern fathers.In this short video, men talk about how the experience of being a dad has changed from their fathers’ generation. They say that although being a moden dad brings lots of magical moments with their children, there are also lots of pressures. For example, dads often need to balance work and family, and they sometimes feel they have to be both protectors and nurturers. The dads and experts in this video agree that it’s important for men to talk about how they want to be a dad.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesBielawska-Batorowicz, E., & Kossakowska-Petrycka, K. (2006). Depressive mood in men after the birth of their offspring in relation to a partner’s depression, social support, fathers’ personality and prenatal expectations. Journal of Reproductive and Infant Psychology, 24, 21-29.Condon, J.T., Boyce, P., & Corkindale, C.J. (2004). The first time fathers study: a prospective study of the mental health and wellbeing of men during the transition to parenthood. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, 38, 56-64.Davey, S.J., Dziurawiec, S., & Brien-Malone, A.O. (2006). Men’s voices: Postnatal depression from the perspective of male partners. Qualitative Health Research, 16, 206-220.Meighan, M., Davis, M.W., Thomas, S.P., & Droppleman, P.G. (1999). Living with postpartum depression: The father’s experience. The American Journal of Maternal Child Nursing,24, 202-208.Ramchandani, P., Stein, A., Evans, J., & O’Connor, T. (2005). Paternal depression in the postnatal period and child development: a prospective population study. The Lancet, 365, 2201-2205.Schumacher, M., Zubaran, C., & White, G. (2008). Bringing birth-related paternal depression to the fore. Women and Birth, 21, 65-70.Article developed in collaboration with Dr Richard Fletcher, Leader, Fathers and Families Research Program.14/01/201014/01/201115/2/201131111Becoming a dad: a big adjustmentBecoming a dadFatherhood – becoming a fatherFatherhood – bonding with babyFatherhood – relationship with partnerFatherhood – dividing household chores000A guide for dads on the early days of fatherhood, including tips for fathers on how to bond with baby, deal with the stress of being a dad, and maintain a good relationship between men and their partners.0established0-100-30There’s a lot to think about when you’re a new dad. As you adjust to fatherhood, you need to look after your baby, yourself and your relationship. Getting hands-on experience is the best way of building your skills and your confidence. The key is to get in and give it a go.The changes taking place in your life as a new dad are many and varied. This article touches on a few key things to think about while you settle into your new role. Getting involved with your newbornLooking after your relationshipUnderstanding your changing sexual relationshipParenting as a teamWorking out new rolesGetting involved with your newbornYou might feel overwhelmed at first, but even brand-new dads come fully equipped for fatherhood. Fathers are just as good as mothers at recognising and responding to the needs of their newborns. They’re also just as able to care for older children.In fact, when you care for your child, you are doing so in ways only a dad can. For instance, you probably parent in a different way from your partner. Adapting to these different parenting styles helps your baby learn social skills.Here are some tips on getting involved with your baby.Try your hand at everything Dressing, settling, playing, bathing and nappy changing – these are all great ways to bond with your baby. Parenting skills are partly a matter of practice – you get better and more confident the more hands-on experience you get.Keep at itResist the urge to hand your baby back to mum when things get demanding. One-on-one time will build your confidence and skills.Go solo sometimesSpend time one-on-one with your baby. This is really important to developing a strong and lasting bond. It’s also good for your partner, who’ll get a much-needed break.Show your affectionWhen you show your baby affection and respond to baby’s cues, a natural chemical called a neuropeptide is released in your baby’s brain. This chemical plays a key role in emotions. As well as making baby feel good, it builds connections between nerve cells, stimulating brain development.You can also imitate your baby’s facial expressions – frowns, tongue-poking, sounds and smiles. All this helps the connection and communication between you and your baby.Have a chatWhile you’re caring for your baby, try talking to baby about what you’re doing. For example, ‘Let’s get dressed now – on goes your top’. Using a warm, sing-song voice (called ‘parentese’) helps your newborn feel content and protected.Talk is like brain food for babies. It helps them build language and communication skills – from the earliest age. Babies don’t have to understand words to benefit from talking.Make time for playYour baby might be young, but you can play plenty of games together:Placing babies flat on their stomach to play (tummy time) helps muscle and brain development. If your baby doesn’t like it, just try it for a short time.Different sounds, sights and sensations will help your baby build skills in different areas. Try toys with interesting textures or varying sounds.Words, rhymes and stories build language and memory skills. Start with some old favourites like ‘Twinkle, Twinkle’ and ‘Old Macdonald’.  Check out our Baby Karaoke if you need some help remembering the words.A game of peek-a-boo builds your baby’s skill at communicating and expressing emotions.VIDEOID=5395High levels of father involvement have been linked to better social and academic skills in their children. And it’s never too late to get involved!Looking after your relationshipMost couples notice relationship changes after their baby arrives. At first, it’s very exciting, and couples often feel closer. But after about a month, couples often start feeling more tired, stressed and overwhelmed by child care demands and household chores.Sometimes, they discover they have different ideas about family life or parenting.Talking with your partner is the best way to deal with these changes and look after your relationship. For more information on looking after yourself and your relationship, read our articles on:talking to each otherlistening to each otherfeeling stressedreducing stress with muscle relaxationbreathing for relaxation.More than 15% of women and 10% of men develop postnatal depression (PND). Read more about PND and women and PND and men. If you think you or your partner is experiencing PND, see a health professional as soon as possible.Understanding your changing sexual relationshipBaby’s arrival can change your sexual relationship with your partner. Both you and your partner might want to feel close again. But having sex can sometimes be difficult because of tiredness, physical changes after childbirth, changes in the way your partner feels sexually, or postnatal depression (PND).Most couples do get their sexual relationship back on track. Here are a few things that might help this along:Be patient. You’re both going through major changes. It’s important to reassure your partner and try to understand your partner’s feelings. Often, couples are advised to wait until the six-week postnatal checkup before resuming sexual activity. Everyone is different, though, and some mothers might need to wait longer.Find other ways to be intimate. Try showing your love with extra kisses or cuddles, holding hands, giving massages or taking a bath together. Try whatever you both enjoy that makes you feel close and connected.Roll up your sleeves. When you get involved in taking care of the baby or doing household chores, it gives your partner more time to recover.These can be difficult issues to talk about. If you’re finding it difficult, you might want to see a counsellor together.VIDEOID=5474Parenting as a teamParenting as a team means working towards shared parenting values, making decisions together, solving problems constructively, and resolving conflicts calmly.Parental teamwork has several benefits:When you and your partner handle the challenges and rewards of parenting together, you are stronger and better equipped to make any tough decisions.Children learn how to behave from watching the way you interact with each other. When you meet challenges, solve problems and handle conflicts in positive and cooperative ways, you’re modelling good behaviour.Children’s sense of safety and wellbeing is closely linked to how their parents behave towards each other. When your baby sees or senses you talking and working well together, baby feels safe and secure.In the early days, the key is to stay positive and support each other as you learn how to parent together. Here are some more important tips:Listen to your partner’s interests and concerns. Mothers often say they really value the chance to share what is happening – good and bad – with someone who really cares.Be ready to step in when you’re needed, so your partner can take a break.Back each other up in front of the children, and discuss disagreements when the children aren’t around.Keep unwanted advice to yourself – sometimes your partner will just want to offload stress by talking to a caring listener.Make a regular time to share ideas for dealing with problems – ideally a time when you’re both rested and unstressed.For more information, read our articles on the importance of teamwork, backing each other up, managing conflict, and solving problems together.Working out new rolesIt’s important for couples to discuss their roles both inside and outside the home. For example, if a father wants to be closely involved with his children, he might be unhappy working a 50-hour week. Similarly, it’s not healthy for a mother to be at home full-time if her work is important to her and she’s unhappy without it.Here are some starting points for your conversation:What needs to be done? Make a list of your family’s requirements, whether it’s caring for the baby, doing shopping and laundry, cooking, washing dishes, or earning a salary. This will give you a starting point for planning who can do what.How much does each of you want or need to work? Try to look at both the objective (who earns more?) and the subjective (does one of you feel particularly strongly about staying home with the baby?).How much money do you need? Drawing up a family budget might help you decide whether one or both of you can afford to cut down your work hours to spend more time at home, if that’s what you want to do.Whose job is more flexible? You might find that one employer is more family-friendly than the other. This can make a big difference when you head back to work.What will make you happy? Research has shown that it doesn’t matter who takes which roles in the family, as long as both of you feel happy and fulfilled.VIDEOID=5473Read more about work-family balance for dads, and ideas on family management.Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesArticle developed in collaboration with Dr Richard Fletcher, Leader, Fathers and Families Research Program.19/8/201020/8/201219/8/20101111Special dad time: how to make it happenDad timeFathers – interactions with children000A description of fathers’ role in children’s learning and development. Includes tips for dads and men on playing and interacting with kids, with particular focus on fathers and rough play.0established0-100-30As a father, you have a big impact on your children’s development. The most significant contribution you make is through your everyday interactions with your kids.Creating high-quality time with your childrenHigh-quality interactions with your children happen when you do that little bit more than simply caring for them.Here are some simple ways to make ‘dad time’ even more special:Talk to your children. Listening to grown-ups talk helps babies and young children learn, even if they can’t understand what you’re saying. It also brings you closer emotionally.Explain things. Point out things that are worth noticing or remembering – for example, a digger on a building site, or a cicada shell in the backyard. Explain how they work if your child asks questions.Spend time listening to your kids. Moments when your children have your exclusive attention are truly golden. If you stop what you’re doing and give your child your full attention, you’re also giving a great boost to his development and self-esteem.Be a good role model. Your child learns how to interact with others through their interactions with you. Every parent has to say ‘no’ and ‘don’t’ sometimes, but even these can be ‘learning moments’ if you’re clear about the behaviour you want. Praise your child when she cooperates, and model politeness. This will give her a powerful example to follow.Create challenging learning opportunities. If you watch carefully, you’ll work out how to keep a game just within your child’s ability – not too hard, not too easy. For instance, you might point to where a puzzle piece could go, rather than letting him flounder, or you doing it for him.Offer choices when you can. For example, instead of saying, ‘Put your t-shirt on’, you could say, ‘Do you want to wear the red t-shirt or the green one?’ A choice is a good alternative to an instruction. It helps build independence and encourage responsibility, and gives your child the feeling she has some control in decision-making.The good news is that you don’t need special training to make these interactions happen. Chances are you’re already doing lots of good things. Not every minute with your children will be high-quality, but knowing what great interaction looks like will help you create more of them.VIDEOID=5395Warmth and physical affection from fathers is associated with higher self-esteem and fewer social and emotional problems in their children.Rough-and-tumble playActive and rough play is a dad speciality. As well as giving your child the chance to get some exercise, it lets her safely test her physical capabilities and limits. And when playing rough with her dad, your child can learn how to manage emotions like anger and excitement, as well as the desire to win. This type of play also helps your child learn important social lessons, like what’s ‘fair’ (no gouging!).Here are some tips for getting the most out of rough-and-tumble play with your child:Time your play wisely. Kids playing with dad can get so excited they need some quiet time before they can go to bed, eat a meal, or get dressed. Make time for winding down after rough play.Set a few ground rules. For example, when someone says they’ve had enough or gets hurt, it’s time to take a break.When the occasional bump or collision happens, calm things down, make sure your child understands it was an accident, and start the game again after the tears are dry.Encourage your children to keep trying when they ‘lose’.And remember – as the strongest and biggest player, you might have to let yourself be overpowered or caught so another player can ‘win’ at least some of the time!Some dads specialise in wrestling, while other families can have the most fun pretending dad is a monster or a dragon who needs to be trapped. In all these games, though, the key is to have fun together.Rightdid you knowAccording to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the average Aussie dad spends about four hours a day with his children.About two hours is spent caring for his children, and two hours is spent playing or talking.A high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2008). How Australians Use Their Time, 2006 (Reissued) (Cat no. 4153). Canberra, ACT. Retrieved December 6, 2010, from http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/Lookup/4153.0Main+Features12006?OpenDocumentArticle developed in collaboration with Dr Richard Fletcher, Leader, Fathers and Families Research Program.19/8/201020/8/201219/8/20101111Breastfeeding: how dads can helpHelping with breastfeedingBreastfeeding – fathers’ roleFathers – breastfeeding help000Information about how fathers can support their partners with breastfeeding, including what dads need to know about breastfeeding.0established0-100-30When your partner breastfeeds your new baby, you can help by being enthusiastic, supportive and knowledgeable.When it comes to food, the science is clear – there’s nothing better than breast milk for your baby. Breastfed babies get fewer infections, and mothers who breastfeed have lower risk of osteoporosis and type-2 diabetes.As a dad, you obviously can’t actually breastfeed your baby. But your attitude and support can be crucial as your partner learns how to breastfeed.How you can helpBy learning about how breastfeeding works you can be more ‘part of the team’ and support your partner through any early difficulties.Take opportunities to carry your baby in a sling, or to just cuddle him. Cuddling skin to skin can help settle your baby and help you bond.Bathing your baby can be soothing for her, and a beautiful bonding time for you both.Help with housework or cooking. Try to make sure you’re home as much as possible to take care of these things.When your partner is breastfeeding, be her extra pair of hands – offer to bring her a glass of water or another pillow if she needs one.For night feeds, you can bring your baby to your partner in bed. After the feed, take your child for a burp and nappy change, and settle him back to sleep if necessary. This will be a big help to your partner, even if you only do it for some night feeds, or on some nights.Be patient if your partner doesn’t feel like being intimate with you. She might feel all ‘touched out’ if she’s feeding, carrying and settling a baby many times a day.Breastfeeding will make your partner hungry and thirsty. You can help by encouraging her to drink plenty of water, and by supplying lots of fruits and vegetables for her to eat. If your partner has difficulties with breastfeeding, encourage her to seek assistance, as nearly all problems can be overcome with the right information and a positive attitude. However, if you have really exhausted all avenues and your partner still finds she can’t breastfeed, reassure her that it’s OK.Look for the positives – one option may be for her to express her breastmilk. This means you and your partner can share the feeding, while your baby still gets the best food. It might be possible for her to partially breastfeed.What you need to know about breastfeedingBreastfeeding isn’t always quick. For new mums, each feeding session can last anywhere from 10 minutes to over an hour. Most newborns feed 8-12 times a day.Breastfeeding can be uncomfortable at first. If the baby is attached properly, any discomfort should subside after 30-60 seconds. But if the discomfort or pain continues, your baby might not be attached or positioned correctly. Pain isn’t normal and your partner needs to get assistance.You might be able to settle your baby more easily than your breastfeeding partner. When your baby is fussy, the smell of milk on your partner can lead your baby to search for her breasts instead of calming down. In these situations, your child might settle better in your arms.Once mum and baby have established a good breastfeeding system (usually after 1-2 months), you can talk about expressing breastmilk for occasional bottle feeds. This means you can do some of the feeds and give your partner a break.Breastfeeding doesn’t cause sagging breasts. Pregnancy, genetics, age, smoking and weight loss or gain will affect breast shape, but breastfeeding doesn’t.Fathers are important to babies no matter how they’re fed. If your baby is exclusively breastfed, you might feel a bit left out, but remember – there are other ways you can get involved and bond with your baby. An important role of a father is to teach his baby that love doesn’t have to involve the giving of food. Rightdid you knowResearch shows that when fathers are more supportive and positive about breastfeeding, it has a strong influence on getting started and how long it lasts.A high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesArora, S., McJunkin, C., Wehrer, J., & Kuhn, P. (2000). Major factors influencing breastfeeding rates: mother’s perception of father’s attitude and milk supply. Pediatrics, 106(5). Retrieved 11 May, 2010, from www.pediatrics.org/cgi/content/full/106/5/e67.Australian Breastfeeding Association (2010). Especially for Partners. Retrieved 31 December 2010 from http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/father.htmlBromberg, B-YN., & Darby, L. (1997). Fathers and breastfeeding: a review of the literature. Journal of Human Lactation, (13), 45–50. Labbok MH, 2001, Effects of breastfeeding on the mother. Pediatric Clinics of North America, 48(1), 143-158.Swanson, V., & Power, K.G. (2005). Initiation and continuation of breastfeeding: theory of planned behaviour. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 50(3), 272-282.Article developed in collaboration with Dr. Richard Fletcher, Leader, Fathers and Families Research Program. Developed in part by Good Beginnings Australia.We acknowledge the assistance of the Australian Breastfeeding Association in reviewing this article in January 2011.23/02/201120/8/201223/02/20111111Work and family: dads finding a balanceDads: work & familyFatherhood – work and familyDads – work and familyWork and family balance – fathers000Information for fathers on how to balance work and family life, including tips on making special dad time, being actively involved in caring for children, and creating more family-friendly work arrangements.0established0-100-30Many dads feel they don’t have enough time for family because of their work. It’s possible to get the balance right, though. A good first step is working out what’s most important to you and your family.How to get the balance rightThere is no one ‘perfect’ balance. Every family is different. So it’s important to start by talking with your partner about the type of parents you both want to be. Your chances of finding a good balance are greater when you work together.Here are some ideas from other dads to help you build on this foundation.Take some time off when your baby is born This will give you the chance to help care for your child – getting up in the night, feeding, dressing and changing nappies, as well as playing and reading. As you rack up the ‘flying hours’, you’ll find your parenting skills and confidence levels growing.Be conscious of your time Keeping a timesheet for a week or so might help you become more conscious of how you spend your time. Once you know exactly what you do with your days, you can work out whether you’re spending enough time on the really important things – like your kids. You can also see whether you need to change your habits and routines to make time for them.Try to make some special ‘dad time’ each day, doing things your kids want to do. It’s a great way to listen to them, find out about their world, and show them you’re interested.Be actively involved in your children’s everyday routines and their special occasions. For example, when you can, take them to playgroup, drop them at child care or school, volunteer for parent help, or help with homework, sport or music. Work with your partner to plan birthday parties and special family outings.As your kids get older, their needs will change. You might need to change your timetable to suit.Last but not least, leave some regular time for yourself. This will help you have plenty of energy for your kids.‘Take advantage of the time with your kids. Don’t allow it to pass by without being involved and enjoying the moments. This time will pass very quickly, and you can’t have it over again.’ Richard, children aged 18 and 23Work at getting the balance right The balance between work and family won’t just happen. You’ll probably have to work at it.Talking to your employer is a good start. Tell them how important being a dad is to you and ask about family-friendly policies. You can also look at the hours you work. Is there room for change? Working part-time for a few months might be a good solution.You can break down the barrier between work and home by telling your kids about your work – where it is, what you do, what happened to you today. You could call them from work, or take them in and show them around.Before you get home from work, do things that prepare you to be with your kids. This could be listening to some music or going for a short walk. This ‘transition time’ can help you move more smoothly from work to home life.Your friends might have some good ideas about balancing work and family. You could also take a look at our article on making the daily switch from work to home.A recent Australian survey found 87% of fathers said parenting was very or extremely rewarding and fulfilling. About the same number also said that parenting was very or extremely demanding!Benefits of a good balanceChildren with dads who are involved and interested in their lives are more likely to feel secure, confident and happy. Warmth and physical affection from fathers is associated with higher self-esteem and fewer social and emotional problems in children.A good work-family balance also lets you develop better relationships with your child and your partner. One Australian study found that fathers who were happier in their relationship with their partner also spent more time playing with their child and involving children in everyday activities.If you have a fulfilled family life, you’re likely to be happier at work. A strong commitment to both work and family can give you satisfaction and fulfilment in both areas of your life.What dads wantAs a dad, you might be trying to balance some of the following:enjoying time with your children while they’re youngdeveloping a strong relationship with your childrensharing your children’s careearning enough money to do the things you want to doenjoying and having satisfaction from your workbeing a positive influence on your children – guiding, teaching and supporting them.Rightdid you knowAustralian research shows that 25% of fathers of kids aged 4-5 years worked 55 hours or more per week. On average, these fathers spent 2.2 hours with their child each day, compared to 2.9 hours for fathers working 35-44 hours per week.Dads talk about work and family‘For the first time in my life, work wasn’t the most important thing’.In this short video, Australian dads talk about how they felt when they had to go back to work after their babies were born. Many found it harder to balance work and family life.Other dads talk about being stay-at-home dads, social changes in fatherhood, and increased involvement in children’s daily care. They discuss their experiences of being more involved in parenting than their own fathers were.A high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesWeston, R., Gray, M., Qu, L., & Stanton, D. (2011). Long work hours and the wellbeing of fathers and their families. Australian Institute of Family Studies. Retrieved August 9, 2011, from http://www.aifs.gov.au/institute/pubs/respaper/rp35.html#introArticle developed in collaboration with Dr Richard Fletcher, Leader, Fathers and Families Research Program.01/03/201101/09/201209/08/20111111Dads and teenagersDads and teenagersDads & teenagersFathers – relationship with teenagers000An overview of the importance of fathers and male parents in raising teenagers, teenage children, teens and adolescent children, with information about how positive relationships with dads can build teenage self-esteem and wellbeing and reduce depression risks.0established0-100-30Dads really do matter to teenagers, because good relationships between dads and kids can boost teenage self-esteem and wellbeing. Just being around and spending everyday time with your child is a great start.Dads matterMums and dads play different roles and bring their own strengths. Good relationships between dads and teenagers are about dad being around and being involved. These kinds of relationships can boost teenagers’ self-esteem. For example, some research shows that teenage girls whose dads are warm and supportive report higher levels of self-esteem than peers.Loving and attentive fathering has also been linked with fewer symptoms of depression in teenagers. Research shows that dads being involved can help teenage boys stay out of trouble, too.The bad news is that harsh fathering (when dads give less support and have more fights with kids) has been associated with more symptoms of depression in teenagers. Depression in dads themselves is also linked to psychological problems in teenagers, possibly particularly for girls.How relationships change Both mums and dads spend less time with their children during adolescence as teenagers gain more independence. But changes in father-teenager relationships can open doors to new ways of connecting.Dads can find new ways to bond with their children in the teenage years. For example, you might find yourselves sharing leisure activities that you both enjoy, such as watching movies, sport or getting out for some exercise. Teenagers might also turn to their dads for help in areas such as deciding on careers, getting a driver licence or managing money.So dad’s role is still important – as much as in your child’s younger years.Family relationships change as your child moves into the teenage years – you’ll have to make room for your child’s friendships and romantic interests. But both mums and dads give teenagers the love and stability they need when lots of other things are changing. Your children also trust you for advice on things like education and careers.Being a good dad to a teenagerEven though your role has changed, you’re still important to your child’s health and wellbeing. You’ve got a big part to play in guiding your child’s path to adulthood.Here are some ways to stay involved in your child’s life:Just be there. Research shows that when parents are around, adolescent children are likely to have fewer behaviour problems. You don’t have to be in your child’s face all the time – it might just be that you’re in the house when she’s in her bedroom. Your child will benefit just from knowing that you’re there if she needs you.Try to relax sometimes on rules. Trying to work out what you can give way on will help you cut back on fights with your child. If you do have a fight, see if you can work out something positive that will help you both feel better about it.Negotiate and compromise. Using negotiation skills and compromising when possible will help you have a positive relationship with your child. This is also a good way of modelling more grown-up ways of communicating.Spend time with your child. It won’t be long before your child’s all grown up, so take whatever chances you can to hang out. For ideas about how to spend time together, you might like to try some of the ideas in our article on staying connected with your child.Tell your child stories. Children are never too old for a story. It can be about famous explorers, your own travel stories, tales of your life before you met your partner, great moments in sport, or anything else that’ll catch your child’s interest.Show your child how much you love him. Teenagers are never too old for a hug, even if they roll their eyes and say, ‘You’re so embarrassing, Dad!’ If physical affection isn’t your thing, there are other ways you can show love. Doing everyday things for your child is one – for example, turning up to sport every weekend, or picking him up from parties.Be active. Go for a bike ride, play basketball or even just walk to the shops together. If your child isn’t so much into sport, try a board game or the quiz in the Saturday paper.Share a hobby. It can be easy to think teenagers are more interested in social media or computer games than hobbies. You might need to try a few different things before you find something you both like, but a shared hobby – such as cooking, yoga or fixing bikes – can be a great way to have fun and build your relationship.Let your child be the expert. Get your child to show you how to do something that you know less about than she does, even if it’s the latest computer game. This is a great way for teenagers to build confidence and mentoring skills.You might like to check out our Talking to Teens interactive guide. It shows how different approaches to communicating with teenagers can get different results.Rightdid you knowChanges in family roles and structures over recent decades have made mums’ and dads’ roles more diverse than ever before. Trends in marriage, divorce and the number of women who work outside the home have all changed family relationships.A high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesBulanda, R., & Majumdar, D. (2009). Perceived parent-child relations and adolescent self-esteem. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 18, 203-212.Greene, A., & Grimsley, M. (1990). Age and gender differences in adolescents’ preferences for parental advice: Mum’s the word. Journal of Adolescent Research, 5, 396-413.McKinney, C., & Renk, K. (2008). Differential parenting between mothers and fathers: Implications for late adolescents. Journal of Family Issues, 29(6), 806-827.Phares, V., Fields, S., & Kamboukos, D. (2009).Fathers’ and mothers’ involvement with their adolescents. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 18, 1-9.Reeb, B.T., & Conger, K.J. (2009). The unique effect of paternal depressive symptoms on adolescent functioning: Associations with gender, and father-adolescent relationship closeness. Journal of Family Psychology, 23(5), 758-761.Shearer, C., Crouter, A., & McHale, S. (2005). Parents’ perceptions of changes in mother-child and father-child relationships during adolescence. Journal of Adolescent Research, 20, 662-684.Sheeber, L., Davis, B., Leve, C., Hops, H., & Tildesley, E. (2007). Adolescents’ relationships with their mothers and fathers: Associations with depressive disorder and subdiagnostic symptomatology. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 116(1), 144-154.Wilkinson, R. (2006). Age and sex differences in the influence of attachement relationships on adolescent psychological health. The Australian Educational and Developmental Psychologist, 23, 87-104.This article was written with help from Elly Robinson, research fellow at the Australian Institute of Family Studies.12/05/201112/05/201222/07/2011108180111100Adapting routines during divorce or separationAdapting during separation100A guide to how parents can help children during separation or divorce by keeping consistent and predictable routines. Includes tips on sticking to a routine when children are moving between houses and homes.0Green0-100-30Coping with separation and divorce means some adjustment and upheaval for everyone, parents and children alike. Routines are one way that you can help children adapt.On top of what you’re going through, you will need to deal with how your children are coping. They could be feeling anywhere from upset to devastated by the change. They might feel:worried about whether their parents still love themdistressed by the sudden instability and unpredictability in their environmentstressed about a parent re-partnering, new family arrangements and new carers.The challenge is to try to prevent the separation or divorce from affecting your children’s health and happiness. Continuing with consistent and predictable routines helps a lot, even if children are moving between two homes.Tips to help your children adaptTalk about any new living arrangements. Children want to know what is going to happen next. Tell them if there will be a new routine, such as spending time with each parent individually.Explain the new routine. Talk about things like who will take them to school, where they will sleep and how often they will see each parent.Try to maintain routines as much as possible in your separate homes. This maintains a sense of security.Try to be consistent with discipline. Continue to reinforce the limits and behaviours you encouraged before the separation (it helps if your ex-partner does the same).Give your children praise for the way they’re coping. This encourages them to keep trying.Give kids extra support before and after access visits. Things will be less upsetting for them if both households are stable, predictable environments where they can feel safe to express their own feelings.Keep grown-up problems for grown-ups. You can say something like, ‘It's OK, that’s a problem that daddy is working out, you don't have to worry about it’.If possible, keep children at the same school. The same surroundings, friends, teachers and routine all help.Help children keep in contact with extended family. A familiar support network after the separation will help a lot.Be as available as possible to listen or talk to your child.Encourage your partner to continue spending positive time with your child.This might seem hard to imagine, but think ahead about how you will deal with dating and remarriage.Rightdid you knowRemind your children that you love them and that the problems are between grown-ups. You can say something like, 'Mummy and daddy still love you. This is an issue just between mummy and daddy, and we're working it out'.Video TranscriptsRelated articles8/5/200620/8/201061111/articles/single_parents_two_homes.htmlDivorceDivorce and legal issuesDivorceDivorce000A guide to the legal issues you need to consider if you're planning a divorce.00-100-30Ending a marriage or de facto relationship leads to significant legal issues, including the welfare of any children of the marriage, and dividing property and finances.In law, divorce is called a dissolution of marriage. In Australia, all applications for dissolution of marriage must be made in the Family Court of Australia, the Federal Magistrates Court or, if the couple was married in Western Australia, the Family Court of Western Australia. In the Northern Territory, couples seeking a divorce apply to the Northern Territory Supreme Court.Either the husband or the wife can apply, by lodging the application form, plus the marriage certificate, with the court.The only grounds for divorce is ‘irretrievable breakdown of the marriage’, where there is no way to save the marriage. The couple must also have been separated for 12 months before a dissolution order will be made. If they’ve been married for less than two years, they’ll also need a certificate from a counsellor stating that they’ve considered reconciliation.The application can be prepared without a lawyer, and if there are no children of the marriage under 18 years old the couple don’t have to be in court.Divorce orderUsually, the court will make an order declaring that a divorce will be granted, which will take effect one month later.The court can refuse to make an order if it’s not satisfied that proper arrangements for any children of the marriage under 18 years old have been made.Overseas marriagesPeople married overseas can apply for a dissolution of marriage if one or both of them is an Australian citizen or resident or regards Australia as their permanent home. The court will need a copy of the marriage certificate. If it’s not in English, the person applying will need to get:an English translation of the marriage certificate andan affidavit from the translator, which must: state his or her qualifications to translatebe attached to a copy of the marriage certificate together with the translation andstate that the translation is accurate and that the attached copy of the marriage certificate is a true copy of the translated marriage certificate.Opposing a divorceProvided a couple have been separated for more than 12 months, there are few grounds opposing an application for divorce. However, if a spouse wants to respond they can file a Response to Divorce or, if the response relates to jurisdiction (such as neither spouse having any connection to Australia) a Response to Jurisdiction (Divorce).Do-it-yourself divorce kitsThe Federal Magistrates Court has a divorce kit which includes an application form and a guide to completing it.The court charges a filing fee.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles11/05/200611/05/200621111Divorce: dividing property and financesDivision of assetsDivision of assetsproperty and financial resources000A guide to what happens to your property and finance if your relationship breaks up.00-100-30When relationships break down, there’s a lot to consider – including the division of property and finances.Property and financeSpousal maintenanceFinancial agreements (pre-nuptial agreements)RegistriesProperty and financeWhen a marriage or de facto relationship breaks down, it’s inevitable that property and finances have to be sorted out. This is dealt with by either the Family Court or Federal Magistrates Court for both married and de facto couples, except in Western Australia, where de facto couples need to use the state Family Court of Western Australia.Property includes all the assets, for example the couple’s home, investment real estate, funds in banks, building societies, credit unions and other financial institutions, life insurance policies, cars, interest in businesses, shares in companies, household contents and other personal property. Superannuation is also taken into account. It’s important for couples to fully disclose details of all assets, plus all their financial information, to each other and the court. Consent ordersIf the couple agrees how to split the property and finances, they can formalise this by making a consent order. This has the same legal effect as a court order. The court will only make a consent order if it’s satisfied that it is properly written and that the terms are ‘just and equitable’.Financial orders If the couple can’t agree, they will have to apply to the Family Court or Federal Magistrates Court for financial orders. There are two types of financial orders:property, which deals with the division of property, income and other financial resources spousal maintenance, which provides for financial support of husbands, wives, former husbands and former wives.When an application is filed in the Federal Magistrates Court, it goes to the court first and then to a conciliation conference or to private mediation. It’s often cheaper and quicker to have a matter dealt with by the Federal Magistrates Court.When an application is filed in the Family Court, there will be a case assessment conference followed by a procedural hearing. These involve a deputy registrar, and are intended to help the couple reach an agreement. If they still can’t agree, the court will set up one of the following:further mediation with a counsellorfinancial mediation in a conciliation conference orjoint mediation (if issues concerning children are also involved).If all these are tried and there’s still no agreement, the dispute will be determined by the Family Court in a full hearing. There’s no formula that is applied to resolve property and financial disputes. Each case is determined on its own facts and merits. This means that the division of assets (what someone owns) may vary substantially from family to family.When determining a case, the following general principles are taken into account:the nature and value of assets compared with what is owed on themdirect financial contributions to the marriage (usually salary/wages earnings)indirect financial contributions (such as gifts and inheritances)non-financial contributions to the marriage, including caring for children and home makingfuture needs, including financial resources and ability to earn.Enforcement of financial ordersFamily Court financial orders, whether made by consent or determined by the Court, can be enforced by one party seeking orders under Section 106A of the Family Law Act. For example, if one person is trying to avoid the effect of the financial order by not signing papers, the court can make an order appointing a third person, usually an officer of the court, to sign the documents. Applications for enforcement orders need to be made to the Family Court if there are proceedings currently in that court; if there aren’t, the application needs to be made to the Federal Magistrates Court.Spousal maintenanceUnder the Family Law Act, a person has a responsibility to financially support their husband or wife (spouse), if their husband or wife can’t meet their daily living expenses from their own resources and the other spouse has the capacity to meet those needs. Payments made to support a husband or wife (or a former husband or wife) are called spousal maintenance.Spousal maintenance isn’t automatic. The needs of the husband and the wife are taken into account, and several factors are considered, including:the age and health of the spouse needing supportthe income, property and financial resources of each spousethe ability of each spouse to work whether or not the marriage has affected the ability of either spouse to earn income.Spousal maintenance must be applied for within 12 months of a divorce becoming final. Applications after this can only be made with permission from the court (which isn’t automatically given).Proceedings for spousal maintenance take place in the Federal Magistrates Court, or in the Family Court if there are other proceedings underway in that court.De facto relationship partners can now also bring proceedings for spousal maintenance under the Family Law Act.Financial agreements (pre-nuptial agreements)Since December 2000, it’s been possible for people who are married or going to be married to make a binding, legally enforceable agreement about what will happen to their financial arrangements if their marriage breaks down. These agreements are often called ‘pre-nuptial agreements’, but the correct legal term is financial agreements.Financial agreements can be made before, during or after a marriage. To be legally binding, both people must sign the agreement and both must receive, before signing the agreement, independent legal and financial advice about it.Financial agreements can deal with financial settlement (including superannuation entitlements) and financial support (maintenance) of one spouse or the other after marriage.The court can declare a financial agreement invalid if a precondition for it (such as receiving independent advice) isn’t met or if fraud is involved (including failure to disclose honestly the full details of a person’s financial position).The law regarding financial agreements is still evolving, and there’s scope for confusion and error which can lead to the agreements being unenforceable. An alternative is to file consent minutes with the court. The court needs to agree that the order is fair before it’s sealed. Consent orders are less likely to be overturned or departed from if they are challenged later.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesDeveloped based on material sourced from Easy Guide to Australian Law by Peter Fairfield (New Holland).11/05/200611/05/200641111Me and My Changing FamilyMe & My Changing FamilyMe and My Changing Family000A free book from the Child Support AgencyHow to order or download this free book from the Child Support Agency which offers tips on building healthy relationships after separation.0Green0-100-30The Child Support Agency (CSA) has released a free book, Me and My Changing Family, which offers tips on building healthy relationships after separation.The 60-page book tackles some of the main issues that parents face when re-partnering and forming a new family, including:what to expecthow to deal with everyone’s needswhere to go for supporthow to support your children through the transitionwhere to go for more information. To order a free copy of the book, fill in the form at the CSA website. Alternatively you can download a PDF version (1MB 60 pages).   Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles26/7/2006001101Divorce and childrenDivorce & childrenDivorce and childrenChildren and divorce000A guide to how the Family Court may deal with children when parents decide to divorce. Covers consent orders, parenting orders, child support and other matters0Green0-100-30This article has been temporarily archived.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles7/6/20077/6/200730001Single mothers: the early daysEarly daysSingle mothers – early experiences of single parenting000A guide to dealing with the early days of single motherhood, including tips for how to cope with being a single mother, and thoughts from other single mums.00-100-30If you’ve just become a single mother, you might feel that your world has been turned upside down. It’s challenging, but there are things you can do to cope with this big change in your life.The first weeks as a single motherWhen you become a single mother, there’s plenty of change to cope with. There’s the reality of parenting alone, and often the challenges of co-parenting as you and your ex-partner adjust to the new situation.The change and uncertainty can lead to all kinds of emotions too. You might feel anger, sadness, frustration, fear, shock, guilt, regret or perhaps grief for the life you once led.On the other hand, you might feel relieved, hopeful or excited about your new life. Some single mothers even say they feel liberated from the conflict and stress of negotiating with a partner.It’s challenging – but it can also be a time for learning about yourself and finding new directions.I did grieve in the early days of separation, but got over it when I moved into my own home and established an independent life with my children. My children are very conscious of the benefits of a happy home life.Tips for the early daysTo start with, it might be enough just to get by, doing what needs to be done and dealing with your emotions. Here are some suggestions to help you get through the first days and weeks:Reach out for support. Your family and friends can be lifelines. If you can’t get support from them, seek out other single mothers, neighbours or parents. Try your children’s playground or school, or your community health centre.Take time to grieve. Whatever your circumstances, the feeling of loss might be part of your experience. It’s OK to feel this way – it helps you to grieve.Take it step by step. In the early days, don’t expect too much of yourself and your family. There might be some things that you don’t really need to think about right now. Or you might be able to put off some big decisions until things become clearer – for example, planning to move house.Focus on what you can control. Some things will be outside your control, like what happens when your children are with your ex-partner. Save your energy to tackle the things you can influence. Give yourself credit for your daily achievements.Remember that you have choices. Even if you can’t change the situation, you might be able to change how you respond.Go easy on yourself. It’s easy to start blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong. But you’re not superwoman, and no-one expects you to be. Be gentle and pat yourself on the back whenever you can.Think positively about the future. Allow yourself to dream a little about how you’d like things to be. Develop new goals for yourself and your children.You might like to read more about successful sole parenting, healthy living for single mothers, dealing with people’s attitudes to single mothers, and help and support for sole parents.Thoughts from other mumsThe challenges of being a single mum change over time. You and/or your ex-partner might repartner, adding a whole new dimension to your arrangements. And of course, children constantly grow and their needs change.Time might also bring new benefits and positive experiences. Many single mums who responded to an online survey conducted on this site saw the upside of single motherhood:‘I’m able to instil a sense of values and responsibility, and provide a positive role model to my children, without the conflict of another parent to deal with. Hard work? Yes. Lonely? Often. But easier? MUCH!’‘I feel our home environment is better than it was when I was married.’‘I’ve discovered my inner strength and trust in my abilities as a parent and as a woman.’‘I’m living my life my way.’RepartneringOver time, separated parents move on with their lives and make decisions about new relationships. Some single mothers repartner quickly. Some stay single.Challenges when building a new relationship can include establishing a home with a new partner. There’s also the impact the new situation might have on your children.Repartnering takes time, patience and commitment from everyone. Research shows that it can take anywhere from 2-5 years for all the pieces of a repartnered family to fit together and work well. This means it’s important to give everyone time and space to adjust.Research suggests that when children go through lots of family transitions, it can affect their wellbeing more than experiencing one or no transitions. So it’s always important to consider the impact of a new relationship on your children.Rightdid you knowIn Australia, single parents head up one in five families with children under the age of 15. Most (87%) are single mothers.In 2009-2010, approximately 441 000 families containing 770 000 children were single mother households.Single-parent families have about 47% less disposable income than coupled families. A high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2007). Australian Social Trends 2007. Cat. No. 4102.0. Canberra: Author.Australian Bureau of Statistics (2011). Family Characteristics, Australia. Cat. no. 4420.0. Retrieved September 5, 2011 from http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/Lookup/4442.0Main+Features12009-10?OpenDocumentAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2004). Household and family projections, Australia 2001-2026. Cat. No. 3236.0. Canberra: Author.Cherlin, A. (2008). Multiple partnerships and children’s wellbeing. Family Matters, 80, 33-36.Burke, S., McIntosh, J., & Gridley, H. (2007). Parenting after separation: A position statement prepared for the Australian Psychological Society. Melbourne: Australian Psychological Society.Child Support Agency (2000). Back on Track: finding a way through separation and repartnering. Canberra: Author.Grayling, A. (2008). Social Evils and Social Goods. London: Joseph Rowntree Foundation.Pryor, J. & Rodgers, B. (2001). Children in changing families: Life after parental separation. Oxford: Blackwell.Silberberg, S. (2001). Searching for family resilience. Family Matters, 58, 52-57.Article developed in collaboration with Elly Robinson, Australian Institute of Family Studies.Based on material produced for Single Mothers: A resource for parenting solo, a publication produced by the Parenting Research Centre in collaboration with the Council of Single Mothers and funded by the Victorian Government Department of Education and Early Childhood Development.19/08/201020/08/201202/11/20111111Helping children adjust to single-parent familiesHelping kids adjustSingle parenting – helping children adjust to family life000A guide for single parents helping children adjust to family life after separation or divorce. Includes tips on talking to children about separation or divorce and setting up new family routines and rituals.0Green0-100-30When a family breaks down, children need to adapt. Talk honestly with your children about the changes. You might also need to adjust family routines and make special time for your children.Talking to your children about the changeWhen a family breaks down, children might find it difficult to deal with their emotions. You might also see some behaviour you don’t like. You can reassure your children by letting them know that this is a tough time for everyone. It’s OK for them to feel upset.Here are some tips for talking with your children about the changes that family breakdown brings.Keep it simple. Long complicated explanations can confuse young children. Children don’t need all the details. Be clear and simple: ‘We both love you, and we’re going to take care of you. But it works best for our family if your dad and I live apart’.Find out what your child knows already. If your child asks you a difficult question, you might simply ask, ‘What have you heard?’ This helps you find out what your child has understood – or misunderstood.Be honest. First and foremost, children need to know things will be OK. But they also have a right to know what’s happening. Make sure you explain in terms they can understand.Read between the lines. Your children’s questions might be motivated by specific worries. Ask your children what they are worrying about, and reassure them with simple words that show you care.Keep the conversation going. Be prepared to answer questions more than once. Your child might keep thinking about an issue after you’ve finished talking.Talk about feelings. Your children will probably see you feeling sad, angry or upset. It’s important to let them know that you love them and that your feelings are not their fault. Let them know that things will get better. Also, let your children express their feelings, and reflect back what you think they are feeling. You can say things like, ‘I can see you’re upset’ or ‘I understand this makes you feel sad.’ It might be difficult to hear about their hurt or anger, but they need to talk too.Have a regular time to talk. Make a regular time for talking, such as at family meetings or on the way home from school. This will give your kids a chance to discuss their concerns. You can also let them know about new developments.Take your time with big questions. Sometimes you won’t know how to answer a tough question. Give yourself time to think. If you can’t answer straight away, tell your children that you’ll get back to them. Perhaps consult other single parents, friends or family members. Sometimes children might ask you questions about your ex-partner. It’s good to encourage your child to talk to your ex-partner about these questions rather then getting involved in answering them yourself. If you have good communications with your ex-partner, you might also want to flag the questions with him or her.Suggest someone else to talk to. Sometimes it’s easier for kids to share feelings and thoughts with someone other than their parents. Encourage them to talk to another trusted adult – a friend, a teacher, an aunt/uncle/cousin or a grandparent. The important thing is that they have a chance to talk.Get help and advice. Remember, you don’t have to deal with everything on your own. A wide range of professionals can advise and help you. You can talk to maternal and child health nurses, school nurses, general practitioners, counsellors and mental health professionals.The effects of family violence can continue, even after a relationship is over. Family violence can also start or get worse when parents separate. Family violence of any kind is not acceptable. If you or anybody you know is experiencing family violence, seek help, perhaps by talking to a professional or calling a hotline.Other ways to help kids copeKeep familiar routines and rituals Keeping up routines and rituals can help children cope with changes. Routines help children feel secure. Try to identify small routines that really matter to them, such as a regular play day with a friend or a book before bed. Let your kids know that these things won’t change.It’s also good to maintain rituals. The way you wake your children in the morning or what you say to them at bedtime are reassuring rituals that you can easily keep up.You can always create new routines and adapt rituals. This might need to happen if there are changes to child care arrangements or your income. If your children are old enough, try working out some new routines together.Let children make decisions Involve your kids in small day-to-day decisions such as how to arrange their rooms or what to serve for dinner. Consult with older children about how much time they would like to spend with you or their other parent.Involve kids in choresGetting children involved in chores can help to reduce stress in families. Even young children can take on some household tasks like packing away toys, clearing plates or putting clothes away. Involve everyone in discussions about dividing up the chores.Create family times Take time out to have some fun, even if it’s just putting on some music and dancing together. Regular family meetings can be a good way to discuss more serious issues and talk about how things are going.Plan ahead for sick days and emergencies Have a backup plan in case your children need to stay home from child care or school. That might mean talking to your ex-partner about how they can help out or to your employer about flexible work arrangements. You might need to find a neighbour, friend or family member you can call on to help. Talk to your kids ahead of time so that they know what will happen if they, or you, get sick.VIDEOID=5460Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesBurke, S., McIntosh, J., & Gridley, H. (2007). Parenting after separation: A position statement prepared for the Australian Psychological Society. Melbourne: Australian Psychological Society.Fletcher, R. (2008). Father-inclusive practice and associated professional competencies. AFRC Briefing No. 9. Melbourne: Australian Family Relationships Clearinghouse, Australian Institute of Family Studies.Smyth, B. (2009). A 5-year retrospective of post-separation shared care research in Australia. Journal of Family Studies 15(1): 36-59.Article developed in collaboration with Elly Robinson, Australian Institute of Family Studies, and in collaboration with Dr Richard Fletcher, Leader, Fathers and Families Research Program.Based on material produced for Single Mothers: A resource for parenting solo, a publication produced by the Parenting Research Centre in collaboration with the Council of Single Mothers and funded by the Victorian Government Department of Education and Early Childhood Development.19/8/201020/8/201231/12/20091111Helping children adjust to two homesTwo homesSingle parenting – helping children adjust to two homes000A guide for single parents helping children adjust to living in two homes after separation or divorce. Includes tips on helping children move between two homes and easing the transition for children living in two homes.0Green0-100-30After a family breakdown, children will need time and understanding to get used to going between two homes. There are lots of practical things you can do to help.Tips to help kids moving between two housesTwo homes, two routines. Kids can cope well with different routines in different houses, as long as the rules are clear and you keep things as predictable as possible. You might need to remind your children that ‘in this home, we do it this way’.Make a ‘place for me’. Children need a place they can call their own and a space to store their things in both homes. Think outside the box a little. Find a way to give them some ‘me space’, even if they don’t have their own bedrooms.Be organised. Keep basic clothing and personal items in each home so kids don’t have to lug everything between the two homes. If your child has a special blanket or toy, make sure your child takes it. This will help your child feel more secure.Stay flexible. As children get older, they will have extra school, social and maybe even work commitments. This might make it harder for them to move from one house to another. You might need to adjust to their changing needs.Don’t forget to listen. If your kids are confused or anxious about moving between two houses, listen to what is bothering them. Any clear concerns can be sorted out with the other parent. If this isn’t possible, a counsellor or other professional might be able to help.Research shows the importance of dads in kids’ lives. Kids don’t do so well if contact with their other parent is uncertain or unpredictable, or if there has been a substantial loss of contact. Fathers and mothers also offer different things to kids – how dads play, for example, can be beneficial for development. Read more about fathers staying involved after separation.Tips for easing the transitionWhen your children move between homes, they might experience ‘emotional jetlag’. This can leave them feeling unsettled and grumpy when they first get home.The good news is that you can plan ahead for this unsettled period:Establish a homecoming ritual. It could be eating a snack together, unpacking bags, or looking at future events on the calendar. This can help ease the transition.Give your children a chance to unwind. This will help them settle in. Take your cues from them about whether they’d prefer a quiet activity like reading a book, or something physical like outside play.Keep the lines of communication open. But avoid asking too many questions about their time with your ex-partner. Your children might prefer to talk after they’re settled.If possible, avoid making the transition when your children are tired or hungry.Getting from ‘No!’ to ‘Let’s go!’Some children have trouble switching houses. They might decide that they don’t want to go to your ex-partner’s, or come home to you. This feeling might go away once they get into the routine. For some – especially very young children – separation can be quite difficult.Start by making sure your children are safe and secure. If they’re still asking to come home, let them know that their time with their other parent is important for both the parent and them. You will be there when they get home or will pick them up by a certain time.When your children are settled back with you and feeling calm, ask why they were upset and provide lots of reassurance. If possible, try to work out a solution with your ex-partner. You might need to look at your care arrangements again, to make sure your children’s needs are being met.If your children don’t feel safe or secure, you’ll need professional advice.Other tips to help your children adaptExplain any new routines. Talk about things like who will take them to school, where they will sleep and how often they will see each parent.Try to maintain routines as much as possible in your separate homes. This maintains a sense of security.Try to be consistent with discipline. Continue to reinforce the limits and behaviours you encouraged before the separation (it helps if your ex-partner does the same).Give your children praise for the way they’re coping. This encourages them to keep trying.Give kids extra support before and after access visits. Things will be less upsetting for them if both households are stable, predictable environments where they can feel safe to express their own feelings.Keep grown-up problems for grown-ups. You can say something like, ‘It’s OK – that’s a problem that daddy is working out. You don’t have to worry about it’.If possible, keep children at the same school. The same surroundings, friends, teachers and routine all help.Help children keep in contact with extended family. A familiar support network after the separation will help a lot.Be as available as possible to listen or talk to your child.Encourage your partner to continue spending positive time with your child.This might seem hard to imagine, but think ahead about how you will deal with dating and remarriage.Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesBurke, S., McIntosh, J., & Gridley, H. (2007). Parenting after separation: A position statement prepared for the Australian Psychological Society. Melbourne: Australian Psychological Society.Fletcher, R. (2008). Father-inclusive practice and associated professional competencies. AFRC Briefing No. 9. Melbourne: Australian Family Relationships Clearinghouse, Australian Institute of Family Studies.Smyth, B. (2009). A 5-year retrospective of post-separation shared care research in Australia. Journal of Family Studies 15(1): 36-59.Article developed in collaboration with Elly Robinson, Australian Institute of Family Studies.Based on material produced for Single Mothers: A resource for parenting solo, a publication produced by the Parenting Research Centre in collaboration with the Council of Single Mothers and funded by the Victorian Government Department of Education and Early Childhood Development.19/8/201020/8/201220/8/20101111Successful sole parentingSole parentingSingle parenting – successful single-parent families000A guide for single parents on creating and maintaining a happy and well-functioning single-parent family after separation or divorce. Includes tips on building positive relationships with children, dealing with challenges of sole parenting, and managing challenging behaviours.0Green0-100-30You can be a successful parent, regardless of your family circumstances. What matters is how children are parented, not the type of household they live in. Successful parents build good relationships with their children, manage difficult behaviours, and handle their own feelings.Here’s the good news: happy single-parent families with healthy, well-adjusted children can and do exist.Research suggests that when parents – single or partnered – spend time with their kids, children do well. It’s so important to encourage, listen, love and care about your children. Let them know you’re interested in their lives.A relaxed home that is free of conflict and violence is very good for children, as are positive co-parenting arrangements. Successful parents in all types of households:feel confident about parentingare concerned about being good parentsmake good use of family networks.Building positive relationships with your childrenWhen parents separate, children still need exactly what they needed before – a secure emotional base, routine, protection, encouragement to learn, and the support of a trusting, loving parent.As a single parent, especially in the early days, it might feel harder to show the warmth and encouragement that your kids need. So how can you keep showing them you care?Make the most of everyday moments. Quality time with your kids can happen anytime and anywhere. You can chat on the way to child care, kindergarten or school. You can talk at dinnertime instead of watching TV. Try playing word games on the bus, or having a sing-along in the car.Be interested. Talk about your children’s favourite things, from sport to music to books or how things work. Get them to show you how to play their favourite board or computer game. Try to avoid question-and-answer sessions.Pay positive attention. Smile, laugh and hug your children as often as you can. Show them that you’re happy to see them when you greet them in the morning and when they come home from child care, kindergarten or school.Make time for one-to-one. When you can, put aside some regular time alone with each child. It could be a book before bed or a game with an older child after the younger ones are asleep. Or try a special outing to the park with a younger child while older siblings are at school.VIDEOID=5460Encouraging good behaviourIt can be easier to manage your children’s behaviour as a single parent. You decide on the rules – what you say goes. And encouraging good behaviour is the same in single-parent families as in any other family.But keeping consistent boundaries is hard when you’re tired and stressed, or if your children’s behaviour is challenging. Here are some extra things to keep in mind about your children’s behaviour when you’re parenting alone.Expect some challenging behaviour In times of change, expect to see differences in your child’s behaviour. For example:Some children might go back to doing things they have grown out of, like bedwetting, baby talk, not sleeping, not eating or throwing tantrums. This is a common response to stress or major change, and it will pass. If the behaviour doesn’t sort itself out in a few weeks, try consulting your family doctor or maternal and child health nurse.You children might be in bad moods and fight more often. When kids act frustrated or angry, encourage them to put their feelings into words and show them that you’re listening. You can acknowledge these feelings without accepting inappropriate behaviour. For example, you might say, ‘I understand this makes you angry. I’m happy to talk to you about it when you have calmed down’.Create clear rules Let your children know, clearly and simply, the family rules that apply when they are in your care. It’s OK if your rules are different from your ex-partner’s – kids can learn that different people have different rules. Agreeing on some rules at a family meeting can be a good first step. This gives everyone a chance to participate, which in turn makes it more likely that kids will follow the rules.Try to be consistent Stick to your rules as much as possible, even if kids push. It’s hard to maintain consistency on your own. You might feel upset if you can’t be as consistent as you would like. Just remind yourself to be calm. Work on not giving in next time.Discipline: choose your battles Dealing with discipline issues can be especially hard when you’re parenting alone. You might need to be pragmatic at times, so choose your battles. Before you get irritated, ask yourself if it really matters. You might feel cranky if your preschooler draws on his sister’s face with markers. But does it really matter if the marker washes off?Be conscious of your own stressParenting on your own can sometimes mean parenting under pressure. When you’re feeling stressed, you might end up being too hard or too soft with your kids.If you find yourself being too hard, try not to get too upset with yourself. Instead, think about how you could handle the situation better next time. Be aware, though, that arguments might be harder for your child to deal with now. This is because she is more likely to see you as her primary source of security.Seek help if you’re finding it hard to keep your cool or are using discipline too harshly. Read more about when you feel you might hurt your child.It’s easy to be too soft with your children, especially if giving in lets you have a bit of peace. You might also feel reluctant to discipline your kids, thinking that they have already been through enough. Dealing with behaviour issues as they occur avoids problems later. It also teaches children about acceptable and appropriate behaviour.Keep a positive attitude As a single parent, your positive attitude, strength and determination give your kids an example that will last for life. If something bad happens, show your kids that you can pick yourself up and dust yourself off.VIDEOID=5402For more help and ideas on young children’s behaviour, you can also check out our article on encouraging good behaviour.Handling your feelings and grown-up issuesYour children are bound to see you feeling sad, angry or upset. It’s important to let them know that you love them and that your negative feelings are not about them. Reassure them that things will get better.If you feel your children are old enough to understand, try being honest about what’s bothering you without going into detail. For example, ‘I had a bad day at work today. I’m in a cranky mood’, or ‘I’m sorry I made a mistake’. Expressing your feelings also gives kids permission to express their own.When you don’t have a partner to talk to, it’s easy to fall into the habit of discussing grown-up issues with your children. But burdening them with adult worries requires kids to be mature beyond their years.As a general rule, try to keep grown-up issues out of discussions with your child. Some grown-up problems – like financial concerns – can make children feel anxious. Use your own adult support networks, and talk things over with other grown-ups.Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesBurke, S., McIntosh, J., & Gridley, H. (2007). Parenting after separation: A position statement prepared for the Australian Psychological Society. Melbourne: Australian Psychological Society.Silberberg, S. (2001). Searching for family resilience. Family Matters, 58, 52-57.Grayling, A. (2008). Social Evils and Social Goods. London: Joseph Rowntree Foundation.Article developed in collaboration with Elly Robinson, Australian Institute of Family Studies, and in collaboration with Dr Richard Fletcher, Leader, Fathers and Families Research Program.Based on material produced for Single Mothers: A resource for parenting solo, a publication produced by the Parenting Research Centre in collaboration with the Council of Single Mothers and funded by the Victorian Government Department of Education and Early Childhood Development.19/8/201020/8/201219/8/20101111Dealing with people’s attitudes to single mothersPeople’s attitudesSingle mothers – dealing with others’ attitudes000Tips for single mothers on dealing with other people’s negative attitudes and stereotypes about single mums parenting after separation or divorce.0Green0-100-30Many single mothers feel that other people view them negatively.  You might not be able to change how other people see you. But you can be prepared for people’s reactions and build a strong sense of pride in your family.Single mothers come from a larger range of backgrounds, cultures, ages and financial status than ever before. But many single mums feel that other people view them negatively.For example, in the Raising Children survey of single mums, 44% of participants said that stereotypes about single mothers were often or always a concern for them.Being a single mother is a hard job, and I don’t think it’s given the credit it deserves.Tips for dealing with negative attitudesPrepare your kids for sensitive questions. People might ask your kids about their family situation, so you might want to help them work out what to say. For example, ‘I live with my mum’, or ‘I have two homes’.Surround yourself with positive attitudes. It can help to spend time with other happy single-mother families. It’s a great support for you. It also gives your children a chance to see that you’re not the only single-mother family around.Think ahead about the ‘dad issue’. Fathers Day and other ‘dad events’ can be hard for children who are not in contact with their father. Let kids know you understand. Suggest that they celebrate with whoever plays a ‘dad role’ in their lives. This could be an uncle, male friend, or maybe even you. Your kids might have both a stepdad and a biological father. If this is tricky, let your children decide the way they would like ‘dad events’ to work. Try to get as close to this ideal as possible.Show kids they’re not alone. You could read books or watch movies about one-parent families or children who live in two separate homes. Ring your local library or bookstore, or search online, for suggestions.Foster family pride. One way to develop a close family identity is to talk with your kids about your family’s strengths. These might include being there for each other, being good citizens (helping the neighbours, perhaps), or taking part in community events.Maintain a healthy social life. It’s good for everyone in the family to stay in touch socially. Make a special effort to invite friends over. If friendships change after you become a single mum, talk positively about the opportunities to meet new people.Providing my daughter with a stable and loving home is my number-one priority. I really wish single mothers weren’t negatively stereotyped so much, especially if your dear beloved child is the result of an ‘unwanted’ pregnancy outside of marriage ... I know I am doing a really great job. I love my baby so much, and I believe we are entitled to respect and happiness as much as anyone.Children and stereotypesInterestingly, children might be less likely to experience negative attitudes than their single mothers. These days, having a single parent is considered ‘normal’. Many kids have friends in similar circumstances.Single-parent children often define ‘family’ in broad terms. They include step-siblings, step-parents and their parents’ ex-partners. The term ‘single-parent family’ doesn’t necessarily feel right to them. Research tells us that children and young people tend to also think about families in terms of emotional ties rather than biological ties.It’s important to realise that living in a single-mother family is not necessarily the same for you and your child. If you encounter negative attitudes as a single mother, it’s best to try not to pass those messages on to your children.Rightdid you knowResearch suggests that things like love, security and warmth influence how kids go in life. These are much more important than what sort of family they grow up in.A high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesAnyan, S., & Pryor, J. (2002). What is in a family? Adolescent perceptions. Children and Society, 16, 306-317.Australian Bureau of Statistics (2007). Australian Social Trends 2007. Cat. No. 4102.0. Canberra: Author.Burke, S., McIntosh, J. & Gridley, H. (2007). Parenting after Separation: A Position Statement prepared for the Australian Psychological Society. Melbourne: Australian Psychological Society.Grayling, A. (2008). Social Evils and Social Goods. London: Joseph Rowntree Foundation.Rigg, A., & Pryor, J. (2006). Children's perceptions of families: What do they really think? Children & Society, 21, 17-30Article developed in collaboration with Elly Robinson, Australian Institute of Family Studies.Based on material produced for Single Mothers: A resource for parenting solo, a publication produced by the Parenting Research Centre in collaboration with the Council of Single Mothers and funded by the Victorian Government Department of Education and Early Childhood Development.19/8/201020/8/201231/12/20091111Co-parenting: getting the balance rightCo-parentingCo-parenting – after separation or divorce000A guide for single parents to establishing a successful co-parenting arrangement after divorce or separation. Includes tips on helping children adjust to dual households and setting up new holiday routines.0Green0-100-30Your relationship with your partner might have ended, but you’re both still parents to your children. It’s in your children’s best interests for you to figure out how you can both be involved in their lives.It’s not easy to create new parenting arrangements when a relationship breaks down. You might both want as much time as possible with the kids, or your ex-partner might not want to see them. You might see equal time as a fair solution – then again, you might not have the resources to do this.Establishing co-parentingWhatever your situation, you and your ex-partner need to make firm decisions about how you’ll parent your children now. You might be able to sort this out together. If you can’t, you can contact one of several support agencies for help. Here are some other tips for setting up your new arrangements.Develop a co-parenting planA parenting plan is a useful way to set out the details of your new relationship. To create one, you and your ex-partner need to discuss your rights and responsibilities with regard to your kids, and set up a way to work out disputes.A shared parenting plan should address:custody or visitation scheduleeducationfinanceschildren’s medical needs or concernsdiscipline and household rulesholidays and special eventsdecision-making guidelines.Have a contingency planOnce your arrangement is in place, you need to agree on what happens if one of you needs to change plans or has a change in circumstances. You might be able to discuss this in person, on the phone or via email.If you can’t talk by yourselves, seek help – perhaps from a family dispute resolution practitioner. You might also like to read more about handling conflict with your ex-partner.Aim for a flexible attitude It benefits everyone to be a little bit flexible about your arrangements. For example, if your ex-partner is sometimes late for pick-ups, it might help to be ready with alternative plans. Try to keep in mind that getting upset about a change your ex-partner makes will only make it difficult the next time you need to change things.Your plans will also need to adapt as your children grow and their circumstances change – for example, when they start school or take up a new sport.Try to accept different parenting styles Your ex-partner’s parenting style might take some getting used to, especially if your ex-partner has different values or beliefs.One way to deal with this is to work out if you don’t like your ex-partner’s style because of your preferences or because of essential requirements. For example:Preference: ‘I don’t like our daughter eating so many sweets at her other parent’s place.’Essential requirement: ‘Our child must have an insulin injection every day.’If you don’t like something because of your preferences, you might be able to let it slide. Then you can concentrate on things that affect your child’s health and safety.As long as your children are safe and secure, different parenting approaches and styles can help children learn that different rules apply in different situations.Keep your ex-partner up-to dateChildren benefit when their other parent knows about their interests and keeps in touch. Even if other parents live far away, kids still benefit from regular email, phone and letter contact, particularly if it goes both ways.Plan ahead for tasks and events You might want your children’s ex-partner to be involved in or take responsibility for tasks like maternal and child health visits, school outings, or child care events. You can also contact your child’s school to make sure your ex-partner gets duplicates of school records.All this helps your ex-partner be more involved in your kids’ lives, which is good for everyone.Give your ex-partner some time to learn the ropes Until your separation, you might have done most of the caring for your children. In this case, some ex-partners might take a little time to get the hang of a one-on-one relationship with their children.Be prepared for some negative feelings When your children are with their other parent, you might feel a sense of loss, loneliness and disappointment. Planning ahead can help you cope when your children are away.If possible, agree in advance on the kind of contact you will have with the kids during these periods. For example, you might have goodnight phone calls, emails or text messages. Try to put on a happy face for your children – this will help them with the transition.It’s great if your children are loved and cared for by their other parent, and are safe in that person’s care. Kids need time with both parents – and time apart from them can give you a chance to rest, relax and pursue relationships, hobbies or interests. Read more about helping children adjust to two homes and helping children adjust to single-parent families.Dealing with special celebrationsSometimes the biggest days of the year – for example, special religious festivals or holidays – are the hardest times to work out parenting plans that suit everyone. Being alone on a significant day, without your child, is difficult for many separated parents.Some parents split special days in half. For others, it works better to alternate parenting on special days every year. You can also hold celebrations before or after the special day. If you can, hold on to some traditions that you previously shared, like opening presents in bed in the morning or sharing a special dessert.It can also help to talk with your kids in advance about what the arrangements will be for their birthdays and other special days.You might find you need to talk to your children’s other parent about when you want to give gifts and what sort of gifts are suitable. For example, you might decide only on special occasions, or small gifts once a month. Try to share information about the larger gifts you might buy for a special occasion, to avoid doubling up.With all these decisions, try to step into your children’s shoes and figure out what will work best for them. You might have to make some compromises.When your ex-partner can’t be involvedSometimes keeping your kids in contact with your ex-partner isn’t possible, or might not be possible for periods of time. This could happen if:your relationship involved violence or abuseyour ex-partner has died, is in prison, or has moved far awayyour ex-partner chooses not to have contact with the children.In cases like these, your relationships with other trusted adults can help. They can offer care and support and be role models for your children. These people might be members of your extended family, close friends, teachers, neighbours or coaches.VIDEOID=5460Rightdid you knowResearch clearly shows that children do best when they have safe and positive contact with both parents.About one-quarter of teenagers aged 12-14 in separated families either never see their father, or only see him in the daytime. This rises to over a third for those aged 15-17.A high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesBurke, S., McIntosh, J., & Gridley, H. (2007). Parenting after separation: A position statement prepared for the Australian Psychological Society. Melbourne: Australian Psychological Society.Fletcher, R. (2008). Father-inclusive practice and associated professional competencies. AFRC Briefing No. 9. Melbourne: Australian Family Relationships Clearinghouse, Australian Institute of Family Studies.Smyth, B. (2009). A 5-year retrospective of post-separation shared care research in Australia. Journal of Family Studies 15(1): 36-59.Article developed in collaboration with Elly Robinson, Australian Institute of Family Studies, and with Dr Richard Fletcher, Leader, Fathers and Families Research Program.Based on material produced for Single Mothers: A resource for parenting solo, a publication produced by the Parenting Research Centre in collaboration with the Council of Single Mothers and funded by the Victorian Government Department of Education and Early Childhood Development.19/8/201020/8/201231/12/20091111Handling conflict with your ex-partnerDivorce and conflict with ex-partnersHandling conflictConflict – effect on childrenDivorce – effect on childrenChildren – effects of parental conflict000Tips for single parents on minimising the impact of conflict on children, both during and after a separation or divorce.00-100-30Children do adapt when their parents separate, but ongoing conflict between parents can really hurt them. It’s important that you and your ex-partner handle any conflict in a healthy way.Conflict between parents – and how you deal with it – is one of the most important factors affecting your child’s wellbeing. The fighting that can occur during a relationship breakdown seems to have an especially big effect on kids. Sometimes arguments between parents lead to swearing, name-calling or physical or mental abuse. This is very likely to cause distress and difficulties for children. If your child is exposed to these kinds of arguments he might become quiet and withdrawn, stop trying new things, feel overwhelmed or act out at child care, kinder or school. Your child wants to love both parents, and when there’s conflict he might feel that he has to choose. He might also be worried that you won’t like him if he shows his love for the parent you’re angry with. Children should never have to take sides.It’s possible for parents to listen to each other and talk respectfully to resolve differences. This can actually teach children valuable life skills.Children do best when the parent they live with has come to terms with separation and other issues with an ex-partner. You can make this happen by thinking of your new parenting partnership as a business arrangement, made for the benefit of your kids. If this is difficult for you, counselling can help.Tips to protect your children from conflictTry to stay polite and respectful with your child’s other parent. Have quick chats in public places, such as your child care centre or child’s school – it might be easier to stay polite in these places.If you must have a difficult conversation, or you think things might get heated, do it somewhere your child can’t hear you. If talking face to face is likely to lead to conflict, use SMS or email. You could also try a shared journal that travels between houses to share important information about your child, instead of having to talk directly to the other parent. If you don’t handle a situation well, try to repair any damage.Speak or write to your former partner directly, rather than asking your child to be a messenger.When you do communicate, keep the focus on your child’s needs and achievements. Your child will feel reassured knowing that both parents are interested in her wellbeing.Avoid asking your child intrusive questions about his other parent, or asking him to keep any information from the other parent.Remind yourself that your child loves both her parents, not just you. Try to avoid making negative conversations about your ex-partner – it’s her parent you’re discussing, and it hurts her to hear bad things. If you need to vent, do it with a friend or therapist, or write it down then destroy it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and support when you need it, whether it’s financial, practical or emotional. Single parents who get support use more positive parenting strategies and are better able to cope than those who try to ‘go it alone’. Even when it isn’t easy, try to share with your child the good parts of the relationship you had with your former partner. Have fun with your child, and be willing to hear about the fun he has with the other parent.Realise that you and your ex-partner can make each other’s lives miserable if you want to. In the end, though, this will impact on your own happiness as much as anyone else’s. Try not to let conflict become part of a pattern.Ease up or give in once in a while. Great things can happen when ex-partners stop relating in a negative way. Do it for yourself and your children – after all, you’re all connected for life. If you’re in a relationship that involves violence, seek support and do whatever’s necessary to ensure the safety of you and your children. You can read more in our article More than arguments: domestic violence. VIDEOID=5462Rightdid you knowResearch suggests that parental conflict can interfere with the way babies and toddlers bond with their parents.A high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesBurke, S., McIntosh, J., & Gridley, H. (2007). Parenting after separation: A position statement prepared for the Australian Psychological Society. Melbourne: Australian Psychological Society.Karst, P. (2000). The Single Mother’s Guide to Survival. US: Random House.Article developed in collaboration with Elly Robinson, Australian Institute of Family Studies, and in collaboration with Dr Richard Fletcher, Leader, Fathers and Families Research Program.Based on material produced for Single Mothers: A resource for parenting solo, a publication produced by the Parenting Research Centre in collaboration with the Council of Single Mothers and funded by the Victorian Government Department of Education and Early Childhood Development.01/09/201101/09/201325/10/20111111Healthy living for single mothersHealthy livingSingle parenting – mothersMothers – health and wellbeing000A guide to maintaining physical, mental and emotional health as a single mother. Includes tips on financial planning.0Green0-100-30Keeping up with your children as a single mother can be tough. The stronger you are, mentally and physically, the easier it will be for you to cope.Keeping healthy means being active and eating right. It also means taking time out for relaxation, fun and talking to other grown-ups. It’s reaching out for the help that you need.Everything you do to look after your health is an investment in your children’s health and happiness. It’s all part of creating a healthy and loving environment for your children. It models healthy habits for them too.The building blocks of a healthy lifestyleHealthy food gives you fuel to get things done and the energy to make life enjoyable. Check out our healthy food and recipes. You’ll find simple suggestions for putting a good meal on the table without blowing the budget.Regular activity keeps you not only physically, but mentally fit. When you exercise:You feel a greater sense of control.You’re distracted from your worries, at least for a while.You have more energy, and you sleep better.Your self-esteem, body image and self-confidence are improved.Your brain releases feel-good chemicals (called endorphins) that give you a ‘natural high’.Being active can even help you deal with anxiety and depression. People who exercise regularly are generally less anxious and less depressed.Build physical activity into your day – every little bit makes a difference:Walk as much as you can.Get off the train or tram a stop early so you can walk part of the way, or join a walking group.Take part in activities with your children, whether it’s pushing the swing, bouncing a ball at the playground, or playing an energetic game of hide-and-seek.Mental health is very important. The end of a relationship can be very painful. It’s normal to have times where you think that life isn’t fair. Sometimes it feels as though the world is full of happy two-parent families, and you’re on the outside looking in.It can help to explore those feelings, or just accept them for a while. But the important thing is to be able to have these feelings and then move on.If you find it hard to shake off negative feelings, it might be time to seek counselling and support. You could start by ringing a parenting hotline. There’s no shame in seeking help. In fact, it’s critical to your children’s wellbeing as well as yours.Other things you can do for yourselfTake a hot bath.Take 10 deep breaths of fresh air.Get out of the house – try a brisk walk or some gardening.Meditate.Sing and/or dance.Swap massages with a friend.Take a nap.Write in a journal.Create something to look forward to – a holiday, day trip, party or concert.Remember that this time won’t last forever.Create some space for yourself that’s free of toys or other kids’ stuff.Sort out practical things to save stress – make lists, pay bills, make school lunches the night before.Keep the house clean. It might help you feel better when you are facing uncertainty.Do chores during the week so your weekends are free to enjoy your kids’ company (or vice versa, if you have the kids all week).Let go of the need to be the perfect parent.Try to look for the good in any situation – it’s almost always there somewhere!Learn to say ‘no’, even to people who are trying to help. For example, it’s OK to say ‘no’ to people offering old clothes or furniture that you don’t need.Rightdid you knowResearch shows a strong relationship between parent wellbeing and child wellbeing. Your children are likely to cope better if you are coping yourself.It also shows that single mothers are more likely to experience poor mental health than partnered mothers, primarily due to financial problems and perceived lack of social support.A high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesCraig, L. (2004). Time to Care: A comparison of how couple and sole parent households allocate time to work and children. SPRC Discussion Paper No. 133. Sydney: Social Policy Research Centre.Crosier, T., Butterworth, P. & Rodgers, B. (2007). Mental health problems among single and partnered mothers. Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology, 42, 6-13.Pryor, J. & Rodgers, B. (2001). Children in changing families: Life after parental separation. Oxford: Blackwell.Article developed in collaboration with Elly Robinson, Australian Institute of Family Studies.Based on material produced for Single Mothers: A resource for parenting solo, a publication produced by the Parenting Research Centre in collaboration with the Council of Single Mothers and funded by the Victorian Government Department of Education and Early Childhood Development.19/8/201020/8/201231/12/20091111Help and support for single parentsHelp & supportSingle parents – help and support for000Information on how and where to seek help and support for sole parents. Includes information on different sources of support, money and finances for single parents, and local services.0Green0-100-30It can be hard to ask for help as a single parent. But looking for support doesn’t mean you’re not coping. In fact, it’s a smart thing to do for both you and your kids.People who can help youSometimes it’s difficult to think of someone to ask for a favour or talk to about what’s going on. You could try:Friends – support from friends might be less complicated and emotional than support from family.Counsellors or therapists – they can offer help and neutral advice without any emotional involvement.Online or telephone hotlines or counselling – this might be good if you’re housebound a lot of the time.Support can come in the form of practical help to lighten the workload, or emotional support to help you cope with parenting alone.Without the respite, I would not have been as calm a caregiver as I have managed to be. Isolation and children is a bad mix for any caregiver. Regardless of any other differences or similarities, no-one understands being a single mum like another single mum.Where to find supportMake new connections in your local area. Local papers, councils and libraries often have information about neighbourhood houses, playgroups and toy libraries. Maternal and child health nurses can also be a valuable source of support and advice.Get involved with other parents. Children are a ticket to making new friends at first-time parent groups, playgroups, kindergartens, schools, or sporting and leisure centres. Invite people to afternoon tea, or to come for a walk – invitations out equal invitations in. Talk to other parents – you might be surprised at the family changes they have been through themselves.Seek out support groups. Groups for single parents can be especially helpful for sharing ideas, feelings and experiences with others in the same boat.Try online forums, chatrooms and social networking sites. Going online can help you connect with other single parents from Australia and around the world. Many single-parent groups have forums or chat rooms connected to their websites. You could also try social networking websites, like facebook and MySpace. They can give you a chance to network with individuals and join groups.Parents who get support use more positive parenting strategies, are better able to cope and are more consistent in parenting decisions than those who try to ‘go it alone’. Start by checking out our single parents forum.Finding the right supportIt’s quality, not quantity. It makes no difference whether you have a few close friends or a large group. Both are equally good for your emotional health and wellbeing, as long as you feel you’re getting the support you need.Give and take. Reaching out for support – and saying yes when it’s offered – can be hard. You might feel like you should be able to cope on your own, or that you’re being a nuisance. But people like to help out. Also, giving and receiving support lets people feel good, see things in a different light, and forget about their own problems for a while.Stay positive. People who are critical, unhelpful or even hostile can have a bad effect on your self-esteem. Don’t hesitate to cut your ties to people and things that upset you. Instead, surround yourself with good company – people who have dreams, hopes and goals.Collect friends you can count on. Friendships can sometimes get lost in the process of separation and divorce. It can be hard to stay in touch with friends who don’t have kids when your child care duties have increased. It’s good to find ways to keep in touch with old friends and develop new relationships. If you find it hard to get kid-free time, try meeting for coffee at a child-friendly café, or meet at the park so the kids have something to do.Sorting out your financesAs a single parent, you have three sources of income:your own earningschild supportgovernment payments.If you can get child support from your ex-partner, do so – but make sure it’s worth the effort.Read more about managing money and budgets, and budget planners and money guides.Rightdid you knowA high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesAustralian Bureau of Statistics (2007). Australian Social Trends 2007. Cat. No. 4102.0. Canberra: Author.Australian Bureau of Statistics (2004). Household and family projections, Australia 2001-2026. Cat. No. 3236.0. Canberra: Author.Cherlin, A. (2008). Multiple partnerships and children’s wellbeing. Family Matters, 80, 33-36.Burke, S., McIntosh, J., & Gridley, H. (2007). Parenting after separation: A position statement prepared for the Australian Psychological Society. Melbourne: Australian Psychological Society.Child Support Agency (2000). Back on Track: finding a way through separation and repartnering. Canberra: Author.Grayling, A. (2008). Social Evils and Social Goods. London: Joseph Rowntree Foundation.Pryor, J. & Rodgers, B. (2001). Children in changing families: Life after parental separation. Oxford: Blackwell.Silberberg, S. (2001). Searching for family resilience. Family Matters, 58, 52-57.Article developed in collaboration with Elly Robinson, Australian Institute of Family Studies.Based on material produced for Single Mothers: A resource for parenting solo, a publication produced by the Parenting Research Centre in collaboration with the Council of Single Mothers and funded by the Victorian Government Department of Education and Early Childhood Development.19/8/201019/8/201019/8/20101111After separation: how dads can stay involvedSeparation & dadsSeparation – fathers’ involvement in parenting afterwardsFathers – separation000A guide for dads to adjusting to the parenting challenges of being a father after separation and divorce. Includes information on parenting as a single father.0established0-100-30Separating from a partner is tough. Being separated from your children can be even tougher. Here’s a guide to staying involved with your kids after separation or divorce.Getting used to solo parentingGive yourself timeIt might take a little while to get used to having a one-on-one relationship with your kids, especially if you haven’t been their main carer in the past. Go easy on yourself if things don’t always go the way you plan.Be reassuring and open Children can be frightened by the strong emotions that go along with separation. They need to hear that both parents love them and that the separation isn’t their fault. Try to explain what is happening in terms they can understand: ‘Mum and I won’t be living together, but we both love you and want to see you whenever we can.’ Read more about discussing tough topics with children.Prepare for handover timesIt’s a good idea to ring your ex-partner a day or two in advance to confirm handover times and places. This is a good chance also to remind the kids of any special items they need to bring.Make your own traditionsYou don’t have to parent just like your partner. In fact, having special routines when the kids are at your house can be fun for everyone. Find out more in our article on creating new family routines.Special routines could include a regular homemade pizza and movie night. Or try cooking dinner together – whatever you’ll all enjoy. For some healthy and tasty meal ideas to cook with your kids, check out our food and recipes section.Make your house a homeChildren are very adaptable, but they need structure and stability. If you’re living in a new place, it’s important that your kids have a spot they can call their own. Ideally, this would be a room. If that’s not possible, try to give them a cupboard or place to store their things.Get involvedWhen you’re with your kids, try to be hands-on with meals, playtime, homework and so on. Try to get to special school and sporting events. It will mean a lot to kids to see both parents at these times. It will also help you understand what’s important to your kids and strengthen your relationship with them.Get support when you need itBecoming a solo dad can be a steep learning curve, so don’t be afraid to ask for help. Talking to other single parents can be a great support. Online discussion sites like our dads forum are one good way to get in touch with them.An important part of staying involved with your kids after separation is having a workable relationship with your ex. Our articles on co-parenting and handling conflict include lots of ideas to help you do this.Fathering from a distanceCaring for your children part-time doesn’t make you a part-time dad. Not living with your kids doesn’t mean you have to be cut off.Here are some tips to help you keep up to date with your children’s lives:Phone calls are an easy way to stay in touch. Kids might find it easier to share over the phone than in person. Give your kids your phone number and let them know they can call you anytime. You can also arrange to ring at regular times, so you both can look forward to catching up.SMS messages are also a great way to keep in touch with older kids about little things during the day.Making notes for yourself can be a good way to remember their likes and dislikes, important dates, and promises about what you’ll do on their next visit. Remembering these things shows your kids how much you care.Sending letters or cards is a wonderful way to let your children know you’re thinking about them. All kids love getting mail. You might even find it easier to express your feelings in writing than you do in person.Modern technology, like digital video and Skype, can help maintain a personal connection. You could record yourself reading a favourite bedtime story or singing a song, or make a time to do these things live over the webcam.Email makes it easy to share jokes, news or games with your kids. If you don’t have your own computer, you could ask to borrow a friend’s, or book computer time at the library.When your kids want a breakSometimes your kids might not want to spend time with you. This might be because they feel torn between their parents and don’t want to choose. They might also be feeling upset if you and your ex have been fighting.In this situation, it’s best to take things slowly:Respect your children’s wishes. Tell them you would love to see them when they’re ready.Try to stay in contact by other means, like phone calls, letters or emails.Experiment with shorter visits. Even if your kids don’t want to sleep over, they might be happy to spend the day with you doing something fun.Remember that older kids might want to stay at a friend’s house instead of yours. In this case, you could consider inviting their friends over as well.If you have a new partner, your children might not feel comfortable around that person yet. These things take time.Read more about helping children adjust to two homes.Rightdid you knowYou don’t need to go on expensive outings or have all the latest toys. It’s the time you spend with your kids that’s important.A high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesArticle developed in collaboration with Dr Richard Fletcher, Leader, Fathers and Families Research Program.19/8/201020/8/201219/8/20101111Family breakdown: helping teenagers copeDivorce, separation and family breakdownFamily breakdownFamily breakdown – helping teenagers cope000A guide to helping teenagers, teenage children and adolescent children cope with family separation, breakdown and divorce. Includes information on helping teens cope with feelings about family breakups, living in two homes, and living in single-parent families.0established0-100-30A family breakdown can complicate normal teenage ups and downs. If you and your partner are breaking up, you can help your child by being open about what’s happening and letting your child know that you both love her, no matter what.Your child’s feelingsIf you and your partner are separating, your child might be feeling all kinds of things – just like you.He might be confused or even shocked because he didn’t see it coming. He might be relieved, particularly if there has been a lot of conflict or any family violence. Some teenagers might be more relaxed, happier and healthier after a separation. After all, it’s a fresh start for everyone.Your child could also be concerned and fearful or feel guilty if she thinks she’s the cause of the problems between you.There could be worry that he might lose contact with one of you. Some teenagers might not want contact with one parent because they feel angry and blame that parent for ‘causing’ the separation. They might think they need to support one or both parents, and feel resentful or overwhelmed by the responsibility.On a practical level, your child might have concerns about where she’ll live. For example, your child might worry that her home will be sold, and that she might have to move away from her friends and school. The possibility that she’ll have two homes – one with dad, one with mum – might also worry her. All kids will take time to adjust emotionally.Signs your child is finding it hardDuring adolescence, your child is going through a lot of social and emotional changes, as well as physical changes. If you and your partner separate, the ups and downs of being a teenager can get mixed up with your child’s feelings about your separation.Your child might not be able to say he’s struggling, but some signs that he is include:behaviour, mood or personality changes, including getting angry, upset or tearful a lotnot wanting to be around family members and not cooperating with family routinesproblems at school or with schoolworkproblems with sleepeating problems, including binge eating or loss of appetiteshutting himself into his bedroom for long periods, or spending more time online or on computer gameslosing interest in activities he usually enjoystaking risks, which could range from challenging school rules or not letting you know where he is, to shoplifting, writing graffiti, taking drugs or binge drinking.It can be hard to know whether any difficult behaviour is because your child is just being a teenager, or whether it’s a sign your child is struggling with the separation. It could be a combination of both. Try not to jump to conclusions about what's causing the behaviour, but be ready to listen and help.Helping your childIt can help if your child understands why you and your partner are separating. A good way to explain is to have a family meeting to talk about the separation with your child. If you can explain why it’s happening without one parent seeming like the ‘good guy’ or the ‘bad guy’, you can avoid your child feeling that she has to choose between you.Your child needs to know that it’s not his fault – it’s a grown-up decision about your relationship. He also has the right to an ongoing relationship with both of you, to love you both and to be loved by you both forever.Once you’ve had a say, your child will need a chance to express her feelings. This could be during your family meeting or later on, when she’s had a chance to think it all over. Talking can help your child deal with the difficult emotions and fears that she might be feeling. Whenever your child is ready to talk, actively listening to her thoughts about the situation can help you work out how best to comfort her.If your child finds it difficult to talk to you about the separation, he might be able to talk to another trusted grown-up – perhaps an aunt or uncle, family friend, teacher or counsellor.Some teenagers might worry that they need to look after you or their brothers or sisters. Let your child know that she doesn’t need to look after everyone else. If any other family members need help, they’ll get it for themselves or you’ll get it for them.It can also help to reassure your child that you and your partner will do your best to keep him out of the way of any conflict. If there has been any family violence, let your child know that he’ll be protected.And if it’s possible for your child to stay in the same house or neighbourhood, go to the same school and keep her daily routine much as before, it will make the change in family circumstances easier for her.Even if you and your child aren’t going to be living together full-time any more, you can still stay connected. You can stay interested in your child’s life and keep doing the special things that you’ve always done – for example, kicking the footy, watching your child play sport, seeing movies together or going shopping.Managing two homesLiving arrangements can cause problems if your child feels you’ve made a decision he doesn’t like without asking for his input. Or he might feel he has to make a choice that could mean pleasing one of you, but hurting or disappointing the other.You can reassure your child that you’ll consider what he wants, and you can even involve him in the discussions if you feel he’s old enough. At the same time, it’s OK to let him know that it’s not up to him to make the decisions.Explain that living arrangements aren’t about who loves your child the most, but might be based on practical issues such as who’s home most, who lives closest to the school or who could get to after-school activities. It’ll take time for all of you to adjust and to get over the initial upheaval. You can always change things if they’re really not working out.Your child doesn’t need to get involved in any issues between you and your ex-partner. It can help to tell your child that:she doesn’t need to be a messenger between youwhen she’s staying with one parent, she can still phone or email the other with news or for a chatshe won’t have to field questions from either of you about what the other’s doing. It’s OK for her to say, ‘I don’t want to talk about this – it makes me uncomfortable’.Having two homes can give your child the chance to experience different rules, values and attitudes, which can be a good thing. For more information and ideas, you might like to read our articles on co-parenting, helping children adjust to single-parent families, and helping children adjust to two homes. Getting extra helpSometimes teenagers might need extra help dealing with their parents’ separation – for example, if they’ve seen, or been a victim of, family violence. If the conflict between the parents has been particularly intense, or is still going on, or if one of the parents has been depressed or has mental illness, teenagers might find it helpful to see a counsellor.There are government-funded relationship counsellors available at organisations including Relationships Australia and Lifeworks. Your GP should also be able to refer you to a private psychologist or relationship counsellor.If you need to talk to someone urgently, phone Lifeline on 13 11 14.If your child needs to talk to someone other than you, he could try a confidential telephone counselling service for young people such as Kids Helpline (1800 551 800) or visit the Kids Helpline website.Your child can learn from the way you and your partner manage the challenges of the separation. If you can manage it well, she can learn good lessons about solving problems and sorting out conflict. These are great life skills that can boost her self-esteem and resilience.Rightdid you knowAround 11 000 teenagers experience family separation in Australia each year.A high speed internet connection is recommended for viewing this video clip. This clip is from the Raising Children DVD, which covers all the parenting basics from birth to five, and includes three main movies, ‘newborn’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’, not available on this website. You can order a copy now.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesRicci, I. (1998). Mom’s house, dad’s house: A complete guide for parents who are separated, divorced, or remarried. City of publication: Prentice Hall. United Kingdom.This article was written with help from Rosalie Pattenden, Clinical Practice Manager, CatholicCare.12/05/201112/12/201230/06/2011111100Working with interpretersWorking with interpretersWorking with interpretersLanguage issuesCultural issues000Practical tips on getting the best results from sessions using an interpreter0Green0-100-30If you have any clients whose main language is not English, sooner or later you will probably need to work with an interpreter. Some parents may bring in a family member who can help interpret. At all other times, it is best to use a fully trained and appropriately qualified interpreter.The Department of Immigration and Citizenship (DIAC) provides the TIS National interpreting service. TIS National is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week for any person or organisation in Australia requiring interpreting services. To use an interpreter over the telephone, phone 131 450.Tips for working with an interpreterBefore the discussionBrief the interpreter beforehand. Clarify technical or complex terms with the interpreter before the interview or during the interview if needed.Before you start, introduce yourself and the interpreter, and explain how the discussion will work with the interpreter present.You might want to tell the parents that:they can talk to you, rather than the interpreterthe interpreter will translate everything that is said if they have any questions, don’t understand something, or want something repeated, just say so and the interpreter will repeat itthat you are bound by confidentiality rules, and so is the interpreter: what you discuss will remain private and confidential.You might want to ask:Have you worked with an interpreter before?Do you have any questions before we start?Do you understand?During the discussionSit somewhere you have eye contact with the parent. Maintain eye contact with the parent, not the interpreter. Speak directly to the parent (don’t say ‘Ask him/her…’) Speak in short segments to allow the interpreter to translate. Clarify issues with the parent, not the interpreter.Check accuracy of the interpretation by asking the interpreter to back translate from time to time.You are the interviewer. It is your job – not the interpreter’s – to control the interview, clarify, respond to the questions.Rightdid you knowIf you are trying to understand contextual or cultural information, it's best to ask the family rather than the interpreter. Interpreters are not authorities on the cultural values of your client and their experiences, values and beliefs may differ significantly.Video TranscriptsRelated articlesPositive Parenting Program (PPP), Victorian Government Department of Human Services, Published by The Victorian Parenting Centre16/5/200611111Where can I get the latest information?Latest parenting information: professionalsLatest informationLatest information for professionals000It can be time-consuming finding the latest research on parenting. This article collates links that will take you to up-to-date findings on best practice00-100-30Families benefit most when the information and support they receive is based on expert or reliable knowledge. If your advice and support, based on your personal experience, is backed up by research you can be sure you’re giving families the best information available. Research lets you flesh out your personal knowledge with a wide range of experiences.This is especially important for health professionals working with parents. Depending on the situation, service provided to parents that is not based on evidence could in fact be damaging to the family’s wellbeing.Some ways you can use research in your practicePrepare for dealing with families by looking at factual resources such as academic journals, published papers or government publications.Base advice about trends on published survey results.As much as possible, provide families with references to evidence itself. Although the raw information can be hard to follow, parents will appreciate having the option to learn more.Include some form of evaluation and updating of your practice. If you keep evaluating what you do in your practice you can keep it relevant to parents.Use up-to-date sources of evidence. This is especially important for any health professional. Your service needs to be based on the latest knowledge and developments in your field.The last point here may seem obvious to most professionals, but new information and resources are becoming available all the time. It’s a good idea to regularly ask questions like:have I seen the newest researchwhere can I find out more about what’s happening in my fieldam I making the use of the latest resources for professionals?For more evidence-based information about working with families, see the following:The Cochrane Collaboration: a reliable source of evidence in health care.Centre for Reviews and Dissemination (CRD): provides research-based information about the effects of interventions used in health and social care. Includes a number of helpful publications including the journal Effectiveness Matters.The Joanna Briggs Institute: an international collaborative approach to the evaluation of evidence derived from a diverse range of sources.Western Australian Centre for Evidence Based Nursing and Midwifery: undertakes a range of practice-oriented research activities to improve the effectiveness of nursing practice and health care outcomesRightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles16/05/200611101Communicating with parents: the basicsCommunicating with parentsCommunicating with parents000Some tips and hints on communicating with parents, and on getting non-communicative parents to open up0Green0-100-30Effective partnerships with parents are crucial in early childhood settings. Close working relationships between parents and carers has benefits for early childhood programs and crucially, can provide important sources of support to parents in the task of parenting.Fundamental to partnership is the nature and style of communication. Yet limited time and the stress of running a busy early childhood service can get in the way of clear and supportive communication. Here are some quick tips on communicating with parents:ListeningLet parents know that you are available for them and that you value any opinions or concerns they raise. Listening well is one way of showing you mean it. Stop what you are doing and look at the parent when they're talking to you.Let them know you are listening and interested by nodding or saying, ‘Uh huh’ occasionally. Let the other person finish talking then summarise what they said, and check that you understood correctly. Check on the feeling as well as the content of what’s said. For example, ‘Am I right in saying that you felt distressed about that incident?’ Use open-ended questions to ask for additional information if you need it. Open-ended questions give the person a chance to expand on what they are saying rather than just saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’; for example, ‘What did you mean by saying he was mucking up?’ Try to understand the perspective of the speaker, even if you disagree with what they are saying. Put yourself in their shoes. SpeakingThe way we communicate to parents will either encourage partnerships or get parents offside. A partnership works best when messages are clear, specific and considerate of the other person’s feelings. Always talk to a parent with the goal of strengthening your relationship.When we are rushed or get ‘caught out’, we may say things that we later regret. It is OK to pause. If you’re not confident about saying something sensitive, arrange a time when you can talk together with less pressure. Use ‘I’ messages: talk about how you are feeling about the situation rather than focusing on what you want the parent to do about it or blaming the parent. Be specific by describing what you see and when you see it. If you didn’t observe a problem yourself, say so. Keep your comments in the present; do not bring up issues from the past. If the issue keeps happening, then move on to finding a solution.Raising concerns with parentsBe open and honest with parents, and talk about problems when they come up. Problems usually don’t go away by themselves and if you leave them to escalate they may be more difficult to repair later. Make an appointment to discuss concerns. Be prepared for the meeting and have a clear agenda of what you want to discuss. Give the parent accurate information on what you observe. Explain exactly what the issue is and why it might be a concern. Check what parent thinks about the issue and whether they are concerned about it. Ask if they experience the same kind of issues at home.If you can, add some knowledge about the nature of the problem. For example, ‘Many prep children are tired by this time of the day. Starting school is an exhausting experience’. Parents are more likely to help develop a solution if they understand the nature of the problem. Own the issue and emphasise that you have the child’s best interests in mind. If the concern is something about a child’s behaviour while they are in your care, then it's your responsibility to develop a solution. Reassure the parent you can work on the issue, but invite them to help with the solution. For example, you might say something like ‘Biting other children is very common in children of Ben’s age. It doesn’t mean he is bad or aggressive. We have ways of helping children learn how to get what they want without biting, but in our experience it always helps to work with a child’s parents to find the best approach for an individual child.’When you are communicating difficult issues, be prepared to offer a range of solutions as well. Offering solutions is a consultative process. Ask for the parent’s opinion. Brainstorm as many solutions as possible, then jointly evaluate the pros and cons of each solution. Dealing with concerns that parents raiseListen to the parent’s concerns. Avoid responding with immediate explanations or justifications; it's important that the parents feel that their concerns have been heard. Show an interest in the parent's welfare as well as the child's. Show enthusiasm at any attempt the parent makes to help with the problem. Offering solutions is a consultative process. Ask for the parent’s opinion. Brainstorm as many solutions as possible, then jointly evaluate the pros and cons of each solution. Sometimes it may be hard to find a solution. You do not need to find a solution every time. When problem solving is not possible, you may be able to help by simply listening to the parent. Notice the attitudes and feelings expressed in the message, and tell the person exactly what you heard them say in terms of feelings and attitudes. Sometimes, despite using all these skills, issues still cannot be resolved. If that happens, tell the parent about your organisation’s grievance procedure and make sure they know how to use it. Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesOutside School Hours Care (OSHC) Resource, Department of Human Services15/5/200621101Referral organisations and resourcesParenting organisations and resourcesOrganisations and resourcesOrganisations and resources000Links to useful websites and organisations for professionals supporting families00-100-30For health professionalsCentre for Reviews and Dissemination (CRD): provides research-based information about the effects of interventions used in health and social care. Includes a number of helpful publications including the Effective Health Care bulletins and the past Effectiveness Matters journal.The Cochrane Collaboration: a reliable source of evidence in health care.The Joanna Briggs Institute: an international collaborative approach to the evaluation of evidence derived from a diverse range of sources.Western Australian Centre for Evidence Based Nursing and Midwifery: undertakes a range of practice-oriented research activities to improve the effectiveness of nursing practice and health care outcomes.Community supportCommunity Builders New South Wales: an initiative of the New South Wales government, the Community Builders site is an electronic clearing house for everyone involved in community level social, economic and environmental renewal including community leaders, community and government workers, volunteers, program managers, academics, policy makers, youth and seniors.The Communities and Families Clearinghouse Australia (CAFCA): funded by the Department of Family and Community Services through the Stronger Families and Communities Strategy 2004-2009, it continues the work of the Stronger Families Learning Exchange which supported the 2000-2004 Stronger Families and Communities Strategy.The National Father-Inclusive Practice Framework: funded by the Australian Government under the Stronger Families and Communities Strategy, this site presents the principles of father-inclusive practice, and challenges all services supporting families to consider their incorporation to encourage fathers to participate in their services.Support for familiesFamily support agenciesAnglicareJesuit Family ServicesSt LukesParenting servicesParenting Research CentreQueen Elizabeth CentreTweddleRespite care servicesInterchangeHome and Community CareHome and Community Care (HACC)Housing servicesSee your local governmentEmployment servicesCentrelinkFinancial servicesSee our section on FinancesAdult counselling servicesRelationships AustraliaChild development and health servicesRefer to your local maternal and child health nurse or community health centreMental health servicesBeyond BlueHead Room Or refer to your nearest public hospitalDisability servicesAssociation for Children with a Disability Early Childhood Intervention Services Early ChoicesCALD support servicesBeginning a Life in Australia bookletsFKA Children’s Services Translating and Interpreting ServiceATSI support servicesSecretariat of National Aboriginal and Islander Child Care (SNAICC)Cultural diversity resourcesCultural Diversity - a guide for health professionals: produced by Queensland Health for the Queensland State Government, this guide presents health and socio-cultural information on ethnic communities (including torture and trauma and issues for children, young people and women). It encourages health professionals to actively explore cultural issues with clients and cautions against stereotyping. It also includes detailed information on many different cultural groups that may be useful to help professionals identify and respond appropriately to cross-cultural issues that they may encounter in their practice.Health Care Providers Handbook on Muslim Patients (PDF document, size: 94.7kb): informed by the Islamic Council of Queensland, this document presents information for professionals who deal with the medical, social and welfare needs of Muslims.NSW Multicultural Health Communication Service: this site provides information on a wide range of topics in 50 different languages, including English. Topics cover many health issues including information for parents regarding child health care.Position Paper on Children of Asylum Seekers and Children of Refugees and Children in Detention: produced by Early Childhood Australia, this paper describes the developmental needs of children of asylum seekers, children of refugees and children who are held in detention. All too often their developmental and psychosocial needs are not met. In particular, refugee children have often experienced trauma associated with being uprooted from their home, separated from parents and held in detention.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/05/200608/08/200831111Community: supporting parentsCommunity: supporting parentsCommunity: supporting parents000Discussion of why communities may want to support parents, and ways they can do so, including examples of how community parenting can work0Green0-100-30Whole of community parentingCommunities are made up of families; all kinds of families. A community that supports parents and cares for children – that looks after families – is a stronger and better functioning community. It benefits both families and our society when raising children is supported at a community level.There are some great examples of communities thinking differently to help support parents and children. These include new ways of sharing information and partnerships that make children’s services widely available.What is a child-friendly community?A child-friendly community is a community that takes responsibility for family and child wellbeing where children are:valued as members of society who need care and supportallowed to play a part – by including children in community decisions that affect themencouraged to participate in community activities and to express themselvesprotected as much as possible from harm, all forms of abuse and neglecthelped to reach their potential – with good as a key focus.Examples of community parenting at workCommunity Builders NSW: an electronic clearing house for everyone involved in community level social, economic and environmental renewal including community leaders, community and government workers, volunteers, program managers, academics, policy makers, youth and seniors.Community Child Care Cooperative: a not-for-profit organisation established in 1978 to promote, support and advocate for quality children’s services, meeting the needs of children, their families and the community.Research – Taking a whole of community approach and keeping good things going: a project of the Family and Community Enhancement Team (FACET), Australian Institute of Family Studies, Queensland.See also the Australian Government's Department of Families, Housing, Community Services & Indigenous Affairs Parenting and Children programs and services.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/5/200611101Employers helping parentsEmployers helping parentsEmployers helping parents000Working parents work better when they have the support of colleagues and managers. Here are some practical ways you can help working parents.0Green0-100-30As an employer or workmate you can play a positive and helpful role in the lives of parents. By understanding the needs of working parents, you can help them adapt and enjoy the experience. And parents who are well supported by policies and practices at work will be happier and more productive.Family friendly workplaces are good for employers and staff. Workplaces that care about families are happier and more productive environments.Employers benefit if they learn about:how to negotiate a family friendly agreementhow to review work and family strategies – and perhaps create new oneshow family friendly policies will help their businesshow to develop a work and family policy.Tips for creating a family friendly workplace1. Allow flexible start and finish times.2. Provide flexible arrangements for parents returning to work after having a baby.3. Find out about and publicise local childcare and school holiday care.4. Hold meetings within normal working hours.5. Introduce ‘make-up’ time so staff can make up hours if they need to leave early for any reason.6. Have a 'Bring your Child to Work' day or a family gathering day.7. Have a policy for mothers who are breastfeeding.8. Explain your work and family policy to employees (existing and new).9. Extend social events to families and partners.10. Include work and family issues when reviewing your workplace agreement.What is the law about working parents?If you’re interested in reading legislation about working parents, the relevant Federal laws are:Discrimination and Family ResponsibilitiesWorkplace RelationsUnlawful terminationLegislation for Workers with Family Responsibilities.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/5/200614/8/200821111Involving parents in school and child careInvolving parentsInvolving parents000A guide to how teachers and child care workers can get parents more involved in their children's life at school or child care.0Green0-100-30Involving parents in the care and schooling of their children helps parents, teachers and the children themselves. Most importantly, children have better academic and social outcomes when their parents and teachers work well together.Research tells us that:If their children have an emotional or behavioural problem, parents frequently turn to teachers for help.Parents feel comfortable in the school environment, which makes them more likely to ask for help or support related to their child.Parents who get involved are more likely to understand and support any particular approaches that are being used with a child, and will support these strategies at home.Parents who get involved take a greater role in their child’s education and activities around schooling, which leads children do better academically and socially.School partnerships are about focusing on the child– they are about considering the needs of both the school and the family in creating the best environment for the child. They aren’t about schools taking responsibility from parents.Benefits of parent involvementFor childrenChildren perform better at school when their parents are involved in their education.Children settle better into school programs when their parents are involved.Children feel valued and important when their parents take an interest in their lives. Children observe and learn positive interactions through watching others interact.For staffStaff experience a higher level of job satisfaction in an environment that encourages listening, respect and appreciation.Staff stress levels are reduced when staff and parents work in partnership.Staff can develop important social skills when they communicate with parents.For parentsInvolvement gives parents the opportunity to discuss their child’s interests with staff, and to have some input into the program.Parents who are familiar with a program feel more comfortable about raising concerns and negotiating solutions with staff.Positive partnerships with staff can relieve parent stress.Keeping in contactFor child care and school professionals working with parents, sharing information is a great way to set up a partnership. Interaction between teachers and parents can help with the child’s development and wellbeing. The way this interaction happens has a major impact on how parents relate to you personally and to your organisation.A good initial message to the parent is that teachers know their child as an individual and are interested in them.When talking with the parent, tell them about what your school does and why. Talk about your approach and what you hope to do for their child. It’s a good idea to begin by asking the parent some basic questions, for example:What are they hoping to get from the school?What are the child’s interests, strengths, likes and dislikes?How would they like to be kept informed about their child and day-to-day happenings at school?What kind of information might they like to support them as a parent?In what ways do they think they might like to be involved?Before school beginsWelcome all parents and incoming students by sending a welcome greeting.Learn about the students and their families.Establish positive communication with all families, and give some information about you as a teacher.Let parents know about your philosophy and teaching practices.Set out classroom policies and inform parents when and how it’s best to reach you.Invite parents to a beginning school meeting.Notes home and positive callsSend home ‘good news’ messages about all students’ behaviour and progress.Call parents to tell them something positive their child has done. Perhaps choose one parent per day and make contact either by phone or letter. After this, parents will be more receptive if you need to call with a concern.Keep a record of regular communications with all parents.Formally recognise any help of parents (through newsletters and notes home).Weekly classroom newsletterThe more you can tell parents about news from the school, the better your partnership will be.Send home a weekly newsletter informing parents about classroom activities and any upcoming events.Newsletters can be used to invite parent participation in the classroom.Make sure newsletters are translated for any parents who speak English as a second language.Other ideasSet up regular informal meetings for parents and teachers. Perhaps once or twice a month parents could come along with a packed lunch and join the teacher for an informal question and answer session.Go on home visits. These are an opportunity to meet the family in their familiar surroundings, and gives the child the chance to see their parent and teacher working together.Schools can increase the involvement of parents in schools in a variety of ways, including things like participation on committees, attendance at special days and events, taking part in programs, and helping out with events such as excursions and fetes.How to tell if a partnership is workingIf parents are really involved in their child’s school life, you can expect:ongoing informal conversations about the childparents and professionals to bring tensions, issues and concerns out in the openprofessionals to find ways of connecting with parents and letting them in on their child’s dayparents’ focus on their child being accepted and viewed as a positive thingparents being encouraged to share information, voice concerns, ask questions, make requests and give constructive criticismprofessionals working with confidence in the face of obstacles yet remaining open to others’ perspectives.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesAusParenting in Schools Program. Parenting Research Centre. Melbourne, Australia.Centre for Community Child Health (2010). Working collaboratively with your child's early childhood education and care service. Childcare and Children's Health: An information sheet for parents, 13(4). Royal Children's Hospital, Melbourne.Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations (n.d.). Outside School Hours Care. Retrieved 24 February, 2011, from www.deewr.gov.au/EarlyChildhood/Programs/ChildCareforServices/SupportforChildCareServices/OutsideSchoolHoursCare/Pages/index.aspx15/5/200615/5/200621111How to help parentsHow to help parents000A guide to some effective approaches to take when working with parents who need help0Green0-100-30Some parents are looking for some basic guidance or ideas for how they can give their child the best upbringing. Others might be worried about how they’re doing and need some reassurance or suggestions. One of the best ways you can help them is to give them the resources they need to make their own decisions.It’s tempting to tell parents what to do when they have a problem; it seems like the quickest way to reach a solution. But when parents get all their answers and solutions from professionals, they can become dependent, coming back every time they have a problem. If instead, service providers help families to make their own decisions about their own lives, families develop confidence to keep making decisions in the future. Family centred practice is one way of doing this. Service providers work in partnership with families to reach goals. Families get the information and tools they need so they can manage some issues themselves. Family centred practice works across a wide range of human services.Some of the things to aim for if you’re interested in providing family centred practice are:being sensitive and responsive to all different kinds of families, including those from different cultural, ethnic, and socioeconomic backgrounds basing services on what families wantbeing flexible in how you provide services, thinking about what’s most useful to the particular family you’re working with acknowledging and respecting that parents are the experts about their child and their family circumstances  giving families the information they need to make informed choiceshelping families get in touch with informal, community, and formal supports and resources, rather than relying solely on formal resources forming strong links with other mainstream and specialist child and family services to make sure you know where to point families when they need help. If you’re a health professionalHealth professionals play a very valuable role in the lives of families. It is worth considering how family focused your practice is because:if you have built a good partnership with a parent you are better equipped to help solve problems. For example, if you are aware that a parent feels anxious about a behaviour strategy for their child, you can sit with them and talk further about it each family is different, and understanding a family’s particular characteristics and needs will help you provide directed support. A family-centred approach is increasingly being recognised as improving outcomes for families. There are three main things to consider.Your overall approachAll families are different, and support works best when it takes the family’s specific characteristics into account. The parent will always know their children and their family best. All families have strengths and are able to work on developing these further. The wellbeing and development of a child depends upon the wellbeing of all other family members and of the family as a whole. The wellbeing of a family depends upon the quality of their informal social supports and the availability of formal support services. Supporting childrenEnsure health, safety and good nutrition for children. Work on developing a warm, caring relationship with children. Look out for and respond to children’s cues and clues. Cater for the fact that every child is different. Be aware of each child’s interests and strengths so you can work together on building them Surround children with language. Encourage exploration and play. Supporting parentsWork on building connections with parents. Parents can feel daunted or confused by professional language, and can be overcome with worry if their child has a health problem. If they know they can trust you, it will really help. Even when there’s not much you can do to help, being available and supportive provides focus and security for families.  Provide clear, truthful information and context.  Try not to make assumptions about what parents ‘need to know’.  Listen to parents carefully when they ask questions and acknowledge the anxiety that comes with not knowing.  Provide support without judging.  If there is a crisis, accept and respect parents who are confused or highly emotional. Try to remember that a crisis can happen to anybody.  Promote bonding and connection between parent and child. Talk to parents about noticing helpful signals as they bond with their baby. Support them as they learn to tune in to their child and attend to their child's needs.  Try to see your job as a partnership with parents as they care for their child in whatever ways they can.   Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesRe-focusing - community based services for young children and their families, Centre for Community Child Health , Royal Children’s Hospital, Melbourne15/5/200611101Families with vulnerabilitiesVulnerable familiesVulnerable familiesFamilies at riskAt risk families000Some practical tips on helping parents who are at risk or having serious problems00-100-30What is vulnerability?Vulnerability and riskWhat you can doWays to help families experiencing vulnerabilityThings to think about if you see a difficultyPut families in touch with the resources they needProvide accurate advice and information in a sensitive wayWhen parents ask you for help or adviceFamilies with vulnerabilities or special needs can benefit greatly from professional support, especially when it’s coupled with a good understanding of their situation.What is vulnerability?Sometimes, the wellbeing of families and children may be threatened by individual, parental or family circumstances. We call these ‘vulnerabilities’. It means that something about the child, parent or family is creating a risk of poor physical or mental health.Examples of factors that may lead to vulnerability are poverty, single parenting, unemployment, relationship problems, depression, drug and alcohol use, and social isolation.Vulnerability and riskMost families are vulnerable at some stage, and some difficulties can affect children into adulthood. For example, research shows that emotional and behavioural difficulties early in life can be linked to behaviour problems (such as poor academic performance, relationship problems, crime) in adolescence and adulthood.Having a characteristic of risk does not necessarily lead to vulnerability. For example, the child of a single mother does not necessarily suffer from not having a father. It is difficult to predict why some children are at risk, while other children do well, despite having a characteristic of vulnerability.Simply having a characteristic of vulnerability does not mean that child’s health or development will suffer. Some vulnerabilities are brief, others are ongoing.Sometimes, families find it difficult to ‘break the cycle’ of vulnerability, or to get out of a difficult situation.You can help by:trying to understand where the family is at – give them plenty of opportunities to explain things in their own wordsoffering support that reflects the parents’ situation – the same approach may not be appropriate for different familiesuse a range of services and offer different ways to access them, so that families can discuss and learn about the strategies will help them most.What you can doBy working in collaboration with families, you can:help families who are experiencing vulnerability and reduce risk to childrentry reaching out to families who don’t reach out to you put families in touch with helpful resourcesgive advice and information in a sensitive waysupport families during times of change.There are a number of things you can do to help families who are experiencing difficult or vulnerable circumstances. Doing something early can reduce any negative effects. Here are some examples:Helping parents use good parenting strategies can reduce the risk of behaviour problems in later life, even where there are significant behaviour problems in childhood.Strengthening the skills of parents can reduce behavioural and emotional problems in children, and increase their social competence.Many families do not know how or where to get help. You can be an excellent link between families experiencing difficulties and the help they need.Ways to help families experiencing vulnerabilityReach out to hard-to-reach families.Put families in touch with the resources they need.Provide accurate advice and information in a sensitive way.Support the family to change or to reduce the vulnerability.Families that are vulnerable are often under financial or time pressures. That can mean they don’t have the time or money to use services, so you may not see them very often. Even if they do use your service, it can be difficult to make connections with families because everyone is so busy.Here are some suggestions for ways of communicating with families who are hard to reach.Be flexible in your methods of communicating; find a variety of ways for parents to keep in touch.Discuss options for communication at the start of the year/program, and make an agreement with parents about how best to communicate (phone, newsletter and regular meetings are some suggestions).  Develop strategies for communicating with non-resident parents, by negotiating this with both parents. Ensure your service is flexible to the needs of all families. For example, is there a staff person available to talk to parents when they arrive? Ask parents if they want help.To help reach all families, it is important to have positive contacts with parents, and not just communicate with them when there is a problem.Think of episodes of positive communication as money going into a bank: you can only ‘withdraw’ (that is, talk about problems) once you have built up a wealth of positive communications. In this way, you and the parent will find it much easier to raise and resolve difficulties.Things to think about if you see a difficultyYou don’t have to solve the problem for them. Sometimes all you need to do to help is listen.  Look for the strengths in the family; for example, that a parent wants what is best for their child.  Look for common ground, such as your shared concern for the child’s wellbeing. Think about what other factors might add to the problem. Can you minimise these? For example, reducing fees temporarily.Parents of children who display difficult behaviour at home may already feel inadequate and overwhelmed. Parents might be using your service for respite from these behaviours and hearing from you about misbehaviour at school may not help them. If you do have to communicate a problem, also be prepared to offer possible solutions. Consult the parent on what they feel would be the best course of action when problems arise. This way they will feel respected and valued. Parents may have tested a solution at home already. Acknowledge their experience and focus on trying a solution together.Put families in touch with the resources they needEach family is unique, with a different combination of characteristics. Treat each family as special and important. Provide resources that are accessible and useable. For example, are they available in the languages that parents in your program can read? It is not always possible to solve a problem or answer the parent’s questions on your own. Helping families can be a complex task. Try not to feel that you must have all the answers.Provide accurate advice and information in a sensitive waySometimes you may be able to provide families with information that helps them through difficulties. Where you have such information, communicate it to the parent in a sensitive way, remembering to work in partnership with the parent.Clarify the issue, or the parent’s concern. Ask the parent what they have already done to try to solve the issue, what has worked, what hasn’t, what got in the way. Recognise previous attempts they have made to solve the problem.Brainstorm possible solutions, encouraging both of you to come up with potential solutions.Together, work out the pros and cons of each solution. Together, decide upon the best solution.Discuss what the parent might need in order to try out the solution (for example, tip sheets, phone number for a community agency or telephone help line, for the staff and parent to try out a new strategy to manage a problem).Regularly review progress towards solving the problem.When parents ask you for help or adviceExplain that it is normal to seek help. If you have information to offer parents (either verbally or written), make sure it is accurate.Be honest about the limitations of your role. If you can’t help them with accurate advice, don’t feel that you must know the answers. Communicate what you have, and refer the parent on to someone or somewhere else. Be aware of who or where you can refer parents. Create a library of up-to-date resources for staff and parents, and make these easily accessible to parents.Additional information about child and family issues may be available through your management committees, coordinators, or local services (including school support staff and the Regional Parenting Services).Have an environment that is welcoming and family friendly and offers parents easy access to the family and parenting resources available in their community.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articlesOutside School Hours Care (OSHC) Resource, Department of Human Services Early Childhood Australiahttp://www.earlychildhoodaustralia.org.au/index.php15/05/200631101Families need your helpFamilies need your helpFamilies need your help - for professionals000A guide to some of the areas where you may be able to help parents, and make their lives easier0Green0-100-30Most of us interact with parents and families every day, in all parts of life - at work, at play, and in services like health, education and welfare. Practical support, information, resources, and someone who’ll listen can all make a huge difference for parents and children. These are things you can provide in your contact with families.Bringing up kids can be hard work, and most families need support or help at some time or another. They may have a one-off problem or they may have a long-term situation they need help with. When they get the support they need, parents can put their best energy and focus into being a parent. Getting help can help resolve distractions like health or stress or financial issues that can make it even harder for parents.Studies have shown that parents are more likely to seek help and support as part of the daily things they do. For example, they might ask a teacher at their child’s school for advice, or bring up a concern with a doctor, rather than call a parenting hotline. They are also more likely to ask for help when there is a specific issue, like a child not getting along with friends.Families might need help with any of the following issues:Housing: finding somewhere they can afford to live.Employment: finding a job or working out how to give enough of themselves to both work and family.Finances: they might have short-term money problems or longer term problems with budgeting or debt. Resources: parents might feel they don’t have enough to give their children, because they can’t afford things or because they live far away from where things are available. They might need children’s clothes, toys or nursery equipment. Access to services: they may have trouble getting to or using services, either because they don’t have transport or because of language difficulties and not having interpreters.Relationships: marital difficulties (including domestic violence) or other relationship difficulties may be making them stressed or sad, or threatening the family.Physical health: chronic health problems can interfere with parenting. Single parents can have trouble coping if they become ill.Mental health: mental health problems like postnatal depression and drug abuse can make it hard to look after children.Support: coping with social isolation and a lack of personal support from extended family or other parents.Parents might also be looking for help with specific concerns about their children. They may be worried about any of the following issues:Development and learningchildren not being as developed as they should be at a certain ageknown developmental disabilitiesMental health problemsaggressive behaviourdifficulties in self-regulationdepression or attachment difficultiesHealthmanagement of chronic health conditions (such as asthma or diabetes)management of food sensitivities and allergiesworries about poor nourishment or obesityWelfaresafety of equipment or general environmentbullyingneglect and abuseRightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles15/5/200615/5/200641111Australian parents from different cultures: videosAustralian parents from different cultures - videoDifferent cultures videos000A selection of videos featuring parents from different cultural backgrounds talking about parenting experiences and issues. Suitable for professionals working with parents from CALD and LOTE backgrounds, as well as parents.0established0-100-30In these videos, migrant parents from culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) backgrounds share their experiences of parenting and raising children in Australia. They also talk about speaking two languages and language barriers, drawing on diverse parenting traditions, feeling isolated and getting involved in local communities. You can watch these videos to hear parents from different cultures talking about:play and learningconnecting and communicatingadjusting to a new countrybeing parents from different culturesspeaking two languages at home.VIDEOID=10250VIDEOID=10251VIDEOID=10252VIDEOID=5716VIDEOID=10253Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles20/09/201120/09/20111111Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander parents: videosAboriginal & Torres Strait Islander parents - videosAboriginal parents videosAboriginal and Torres Strait Islander parents – videosVideos – Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander parents000A selection of videos featuring parents from Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander backgrounds talking about parenting experiences and issues. Suitable for professionals working with parents as well as parents.0established0-100-30In these videos, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander parents share their experiences of parenting and raising children in Australia.You can watch these videos to hear Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander parents talking about:play and learningnutritionroutineswatching your kids.VIDEOID=10295VIDEOID=10299VIDEOID=10297VIDEOID=10301Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles20/09/201120/09/20111111000000Can you spoil your baby?New born & baby care without spoilingSpoiling babiesSecure attachmentSpoiling babies000An explanation of why it's impossible to for parents to spoil newborn babies and young babies. Includes discussion of how quick responses to babies' needs is not spoiling babies but actually helps babies develop trust.0Green0-100-30You can’t spoil a young baby. In fact, it’s important to respond quickly and lovingly when your baby needs attention. This will help your baby develop trust in you and the world.This question of spoiling babies comes up naturally in the first few weeks at home if a baby is fussing a lot between feedings instead of sleeping peacefully. You pick him up and walk him around and he stops crying, at least for the time being. Lay him down, and he starts all over again.You don’t need to worry much about spoiling in the first month or even the first six months.The chances are great that such a young baby is feeling miserable. If he stops fussing when picked up, it’s probably because the motion and distraction and perhaps the warm pressure on his abdomen from being held make him forget his pain or tension at least temporarily.The answer to this question really depends on what lessons you think babies are learning in the first months of life. It is unlikely that they are capable of learning to expect their every whim to be attended to 24 hours a day. That's what being spoiled would mean.But we know that young infants can’t anticipate the future. They live entirely in the here and now. They also can’t formulate this thought: ‘Well I’m going to make life miserable for these people until they give me everything I want’ – another key component of the spoiled child.Basic trustWhat infants are learning during this period is a sense of basic trust (or mistrust) in the world.If babies’ needs are met promptly and lovingly, they come to feel that the world is a benign place, a place where good things generally happen and bad experiences are soon rectified.The famous psychiatrist Erik Erikson felt that this sense of basic trust becomes a core of the baby’s character. So the answer to the question ‘Can a young baby be spoiled?’ is ‘No, not until he's old enough to understand why his needs aren’t being immediately met (maybe at nine months of age)’.I would change the question altogether to ask: ‘How can you instill a sense of basic trust in babies?’Secure attachmentPsychologists use the term ‘secure attachment’ to talk about basic trust. A child who has a secure attachment to a parent or caregiver believes deep down that that parent will keep him safe and will provide for his pressing needs.A lot of research shows that this sense of security develops during the first year of an infant's life. It then continues to deepen and change as the child grows.Babies who do not have a chance to develop an attachment by one year of age – babies, for example, who are raised in orphanages with little or no personal attention – often have severe problems in forming relationships. Babies with strong, secure attachments are more able to go off to school and to learn.Some parents feel that babies have to learn at a young age to be independent and comfort themselves.They worry that picking up babies right away when they cry will make them overly dependent. I like to tell these parents about a very important study on the effects of picking up crying babies.Babies whose parents tried to respond promptly to their crying actually cried less, and were more independent as preschoolers, compared to babies who were left to ‘cry it out’. Their earlier experience had made them more secure, so they were better able to handle difficulties by themselves later on.Rightdid you knowBonding with your babyThere’s no need to worry that you’ll spoil your baby if you cuddle her when she cries. In fact, by responding to her needs with comfort and love, you’re helping the bonding process along.In this short video, you can hear other mums and dads talk about their experiences of bonding with their babies. They describe joy – and also the experience of not feeling an instant attachment to their child. These parents discuss how they formed that bond later.Video TranscriptsRelated articles6/8/20096/8/201127/8/2009030181111Crying babiesCrying100Babies may cry quite a lot in the early weeks and as they develop; ideas to help parents work out what the baby needs and what will stop the crying; ideas and practical suggestions to help parents cope with their own feelings when babies cry.00-100-30A baby’s cry is distressing for parents, and it is meant to be. It is the baby’s main way of letting people know that something is not right and that she needs help. A new baby cannot care for herself, and has to call for help. The challenge is to work out what the baby needs and what will stop the crying.This is not always easy, and babies may cry quite a lot in the early weeks, even when their parents are very attentive.  If your baby is very upset, or her crying is different to her normal crying, or there are other signs that she might be unwell (such as not feeding well, trouble breathing, fever, vomiting or runny poo), check with your doctor. Comforting your babyIf your baby is crying, she needs you to go to her, and care for her.You cannot spoil a baby by responding when she is upset.In the early months a baby needs to learn that her world is a safe place to be in, and that she can trust her carers to meet her needs.You may not be able to stop the crying every time, but you need to do what you can to provide comfort, and help your baby learn to cope with her distress.Research has shown that when parents give comfort to young crying babies, they may cry less when they are older.  Reasons for crying: a checklistIs she hungry? Young babies may need feeding fairly often, especially if they are breastfed. Even if she has recently had a feed, you can try a quick top-up to see if that makes things better, or worse. If she feeds very briefly then stops, she probably isn't hungry.Is she having a bowel action? Young babies can make a lot of fuss about doing a poo, even when it is soft or runny.Is she uncomfortable? Check if she is too hot or cold, needs a nappy change, has comfortable loose clothing (for example, not too tight around the tummy).Is she in the best place to settle? Some babies sleep better in a quiet dark place, others do better with some noise and activity.Does she have wind? Air in the tummy probably does not cause all the trouble it is blamed for, but some babies settle better if you hold them upright and pat their back for a while, even if they do not burp.Is she unwell? Check for signs of illness, especially if her crying is different to her usual pattern. Seek help if you are worried. Is she overtired? If she has been awake for a while, try wrapping her firmly and rocking or patting her to sleep.Does she need a cuddle? Babies need lots of close contact with their parents.  Is she crying for no obvious reason at all?Normal crying patternsParents often feel their baby cries more than other babies, or more than they expected. There is a wide range of normal crying. Some babies cry much more than other babies for no clear reason.Young babies may have one or two times each day when they usually cry, with some unsettled behaviour in between. The late afternoon and evening tend to be the worst. Studies show babies fuss or cry about two hours a day on average, some rather more, and some less.The amount of crying often increases until the baby is about six weeks old, and then tends to settle a lot after three months. This is not the same for all babies.  What parents can doIf your baby is crying a lot, check with your doctor so you can feel sure that your baby is well.Find out what works best for your baby and you. As you get to know your baby you will find it easier to recognise when she wants a feed or a cuddle or needs to be settled to sleep.Work through the checklist above, and try the settling ideas below, using the ones that seem to fit for you.  Settling ideasCrying babies tend to arch their heads back and stiffen their legs. Holding them curved into a C or flexed position can help them calm down.Wrapping or swaddling in a cotton sheet can be calming and help the baby sleep for longer. Dummies help some babies to settle, but if you are breastfeeding your baby, don’t use one in the early weeks until the breastfeeding is well established.Baby slings are great to provide the comfort and contact that babies need when you have something else to do.Soft music, rhythmic sounds or continuous machine noises (such as the noise made by a washing machine) soothe some babies.Most babies settle when taken for a walk in the pram, and the exercise helps parents feel better too. Avoid leaving your baby sleeping unattended in a pram though.Some babies only seem to settle when taken for a drive. This has some drawbacks, but if you are able to do this safely (you are not too tired, or too distressed by your baby’s crying) this might be useful for the few weeks before she grows past this stage.Whispering to babies will sometimes get their attention and stop them crying.Some babies who cry a lot find it hard to settle into a pattern of feeding and sleeping, so everyone gets very overtired.Coping with your own feelingsIt is very hard to always be patient with your baby, especially if she cries a lot. You may find yourself feeling frustrated, angry, helpless and distressed. These feelings are real and cannot just be ignored. Just because you love your baby doesn’t mean you have to like her behaviour all the time.  Remind yourself that your baby cannot control her crying and is not trying to get at you. She is not ‘spoilt’ and attending to her will not spoil her.If there is someone nearby to help, give them the baby while you take a break.If you are on your own, you may need to take a break anyway when you feel angry feelings building up. Put your baby down in a safe place and walk away. Go outside perhaps, and take some deep breaths, phone someone or make a cup of tea. When you feel calmer, go back to your baby and try to settle her again.It is important to look after yourself when you have a young baby who depends on you. Take up offers of help and get some regular breaks when you can.If you are really feeling down and are finding it hard to enjoy your baby at all, or you are often tearful or feeling depressed, it is important to talk it over with your doctor, child health nurse or counsellor.Rightdid you knowStudies show that babies fuss or cry for about two hours a day on average, some rather more, and some less.Video TranscriptsRelated articles05/05/200631101/articles/crying_baby_video.htmlAbout disciplineDiscipline and behaviour rules for childrenAbout disciplineDisciplinePunishment - using disciplineRules of behaviourObedience - using discipline000An overview of the meaning and function of discipline and its effects on children's behaviour. Includes a discussion of why different discipline styles and discipline techniques have different results for children's behaviour, with recommendations about effective discipline.00-100-30The true goal of discipline is to teach children the rules of behaviour – they need to learn what society and other people expect of their behaviour. This will help them grow up to be socially productive and personally fulfilled individuals.When most people use the word ‘discipline’, what they really mean is ‘punishment’. Sometimes they’re even referring to ‘physical punishment’. Physical punishment is ineffective and harmful to children and parents. While providing negative consequences is part of discipline – hopefully a small part – it’s not the whole story.Discipline comes from the word ‘disciple’. It really means ‘to teach’.Preserving your child’s sense of self-worthOf course, you could create a harsh system of controls and punishments – like a good little robot, your child would behave perfectly a lot of the time. But what would be the effect on your child’s spirit, on his sense of self-worth, on his personal happiness, or on his feelings toward others?On the other hand, you can imagine a child whose every whim is indulged, and whose every action, good or bad, is praised. Such a child might have a certain measure of happiness, but most people wouldn’t want to spend much time with her.VIDEOID=5402Your delicate task is to teach your children the how and the why of acceptable behaviour, but never at the expense of their sense of self-worth and optimism.Strict or casual discipline?This looms as a big question for many new parents, although most find their own balance in a little while. For a few parents it remains a tricky question, no matter how much experience they’ve had.Another word used for casual discipline is ‘permissiveness’. This means different things to different people – to some it means an easygoing, casual style of management, but to others it means letting their child do or have anything she wants, which is likely to produce an obnoxious, spoiled, rude child.But parents who aren’t afraid to be firm when it’s needed can get good results with either moderate strictness or moderate casualness. The real issue is what spirit you put into managing your child, and what attitude is instilled in the child as a result.StrictnessExpecting reasonable behaviour from children means parents need to be kind, moderately strict, flexible, and have consistent expectations.Strictness is fine as long as the parents are basically kind, and as long as the children are growing up happy and friendly. But strictness is harmful when parents are overbearing, harsh, and chronically disapproving or when they make no allowances for a child’s age and individuality. This kind of severity can produce children who are either meek and colourless or mean-spirited.Parents who have an easygoing style of management can also raise children who are considerate and cooperative. Such parents might be satisfied with casual manners as long as the child’s attitude is friendly. They might happen not to be particularly strict – for instance, about promptness or neatness. The key is that they’re not afraid to be firm about the matters that are important to them.Permissiveness – angry parents, unhappy kidsWhen parents get unhappy results from too much permissiveness, it’s not so much because they demand too little, even though this is part of it. It’s more because they’re timid or guilty about what they ask, or because they’re unconsciously letting the child rule the roost.If parents are too hesitant in asking for reasonable behaviour – because they’ve misunderstood theories of self-expression, because they’re self-sacrificing by nature, or because they’re afraid of making their children dislike them – they can’t help resenting the bad behaviour that comes instead. They keep getting angry underneath without really knowing what to do about it.This bothers their children too. It can make them feel guilty and scared, but can also make them meaner and all the more demanding. For example, if a toddler gets a taste for staying up late and the parents are afraid to let him, the child might turn into a disagreeable tyrant who keeps his parents awake for hours – and his parents would start to dislike him for his tyranny.If parents can learn to be firm and consistent in their expectations, it’s amazing how fast the children will sweeten up and the parents will, too.Parents can’t feel right towards their children in the long run unless they can make them behave reasonably. Children can’t be happy unless they’re behaving reasonably.Firm but friendly disciplineA child needs to feel that her mother and father, however agreeable, have their own rights. They know how to be firm and won’t let the child be unreasonable or rude. She likes them better that way. Their firmness trains her from the beginning to get along reasonably with other people.Spoiled children aren’t happy creatures, even in their own homes. And when they get out into the world, whether it’s at age two or four or six, they’re in for a rude shock. They find that nobody is willing to bow down to them. They learn, in fact, that everybody dislikes them for their selfishness. Either they must go through life being unpopular, or they must learn the hard way how to be agreeable.Conscientious parents often let a child take advantage of them for a while – until their patience is exhausted – and then turn on the child crossly. But neither of these stages is really necessary.If parents have a healthy self-respect, they can stand up for themselves while they are still feeling friendly. For instance, if your daughter insists that you continue to play a game after you’re exhausted, don’t be afraid to say cheerfully but definitely, ‘I’m all tired out. I’m going to read a book now, and you can read your book, too’.Or maybe a child is refusing to get out of the wagon or tricycle of another child who has to take it home now. Try to interest him in something else, but don’t feel that you must go on being sweetly reasonable forever. Lift him out of the wagon or tricycle even if he yells for a minute.Rightdid you knowSmackingThe parents in this video understand that ‘children can drive you to the point where you feel like smacking them’. But these parents also say that smacking is never an effective form of discipline. It teaches children that hitting others is an acceptable way to get what you want. And it can negatively impact on children’s behaviour and emotional development.Instead of physical punishment, these parents talk about how discipline should be about setting boundaries for children and sending clear messages about behaviour.Video TranscriptsRelated articles01/08/201101/08/201313/09/2009112961111Is punishment necessary?Is punishment necessary?Rules – firm & consistentPunishment – does it work?000A discussion of whether punishment is effective as a behaviour management strategy and recommendations about using positive discipline techniques to manage children's behaviour.0Green0-100-30Many good parents feel that they have to punish their children once in a while. But other parents find that they can successfully manage without ever having to punish. A lot depends on how the parents were brought up.If parents were punished occasionally for good cause, they naturally expect to have to punish in similar situations. And if they were kept in line by positive guidance alone, they are apt to find that they can do the same with their children.On the other hand, there are also a fair number of poorly behaved children. The parents of some of them punish a lot, and the parents of others never do. So we can’t say either that punishment always works or that lack of it always works. It all depends on the nature of the parents’ discipline in general.Punishment – not the key to disciplineBefore we go further with the subject of punishment, we ought to realise that it is never the key part of discipline. It’s only a vigorous reminder that the parents feel strongly about what they say. We have all seen children who were slapped and spanked and deprived plenty, and yet remained ill-behaved.The main source of good discipline is growing up in a loving family – being loved and learning to love in return.We want to be kind and cooperative (most of the time) because we like people and want them to like us. (Habitual criminals are people who in childhood were never loved enough to make much difference to them. Many of them were also abused or were witnesses to significant violence and turmoil.)Children gradually lessen their grabbing and begin to share, somewhere around the age of three, not primarily because they are reminded by their parents (though that may help some), but because their feelings toward other children – of enjoyment and affection – have developed sufficiently.Another vital element is children’s intense desire to be as much like their parents as possible. Children work particularly hard at being polite and civilised and responsible around the ages of 3-6. They pretend very seriously to take care of their doll children, keep house and go out to work, as they see their parents do.Firmness and consistencyThe everyday job of the parent is to keep the child on the right track by means of firmness and consistency.Though children do the major share in civilising themselves, through love and imitation, there still is plenty of work left for parents to do.It’s a bit like a car. The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering. Some children are more challenging than others – they may be more active, impulsive, and stubborn than most – and it takes more energy to keep them on the right track.For most children, most of the time, a disapproving glance or word from a parent is enough to steer the child back on the right track. A small percentage of children are so very impulsive, and so under-responsive to the usual messages from parents, that even very good parents feel ineffective, frustrated, and angry.Some of these children will have a diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or a related condition.Children’s motives are good (most of the time), but they don’t have the experience or the stability to stay on the road. The parents have to be saying, ‘We hold hands when we cross the street’, ‘You can't play with that. It might hurt someone’, ‘Say thank you to Mrs Griffin’, ‘Let’s go in now, because there is a surprise for lunch’, ‘We have to leave the toy here because it belongs to Harry and he wants it’, ‘It's time to go to bed so you'll grow big and strong’, and so on and on.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles6/8/20096/8/201113/9/200950961111Practical advice about disciplinePractical advice about discipline for childrenDiscipline – some practical adviceExplanationsDiscipline - practical adviceObedience - practical advice000Practical advice about discipline for parents, with an emphasis on using positive discipline techniques to manage children's behaviour, and particular attention to handling transitions, using warnings in appropriate ways, and getting children used to routines.00-100-30It’s easy to fall into the habit of saying to a small child: ‘Do you want to sit down and have your lunch?’ ‘Shall we get dressed now?’ ‘Do you want to do wee-wee?’ Another common approach is, ‘It's time to go out now, OK?’The trouble is that the natural response of the child, particularly between ages 1-3, is ‘No’. Then the poor parent has to persuade the child to give in to something that was necessary anyway.These arguments use up thousands of words. It is better not to offer a choice. When it’s time for lunch, lead or carry your child her to the table, still chatting about the thing that was on the child’s mind before. When you see signs that your child needs to go to the toilet, lead her there or bring the potty to her.Handling transitionsEvery time you take a child away from something he’s absorbed in, it helps to be tactful:If your 15-month-old is busy fitting one hollow block inside another at dinnertime, you can carry him to the table still holding his blocks. Take them away when you hand over his spoon.If your two-year-old is playing with a toy dog at bedtime, you can say, ‘Let’s put doggie to bed now’.If your three-year-old is chugging a toy car along the floor when it’s time for the bath, you can suggest that the car make a long, long trip to the bathroom.When you show interest in what your child is doing, it puts her in a cooperative mood.As your child grows older, he’ll be less distractible and have more concentration. Then it works better to give him a little friendly warning.If a four-year-old has spent half an hour building a garage of blocks, you can say, ‘Put the cars in soon now. I want to see them inside before you go to bed’. This works better than pouncing on her without warning when the most exciting part of the play is still to come, or giving her a cross warning.All this takes patience, though, and naturally you won’t always have it. No parent ever does.Read more about handling transitions.VIDEOID=5402Don’t give the small child too many warningsYou sometimes see a child between the ages of 1-3 who becomes worried by too many warnings. The mother of a certain two-year-old boy always tries to control him with ideas: ‘Jackie, you mustn't touch the doctor’s lamp, because you will break it, and then the doctor won’t be able to see’. Jackie regards the lamp with a worried expression and mutters, ‘Doctor can’t see’.A minute later he is trying to open the door to the street. His mother warns him, ‘Don’t go out the door. Jackie might get lost, and Mummy couldn’t find him’. Poor Jackie turns this new danger over in his mind and repeats, ‘Mummy can’t find him’.It’s bad for Jackie to hear about so many bad endings. A two-year-old baby shouldn’t be worrying much about the consequences of his actions. This is the period when he is meant to learn by doing and having things happen. I’m not advising you never to warn your child in words, but only that you shouldn’t always lead him out beyond his depth with ideas.Don’t give the small child too many explanationsI think of an overconscientious father who feels he should give his three-year-old daughter a reasonable explanation of everything. When it’s time to get ready to go outdoors, it never occurs to him to put the child’s coat on in a matter-of-fact way and get out.He begins, ‘Shall we put your coat on now?’ ‘No’, says the child. ‘Oh, but we want to go out and get some nice fresh air’.She is used to the fact that her father feels obliged to give a reason for everything. This encourages her to make him argue for every point. So she says, ‘Why?’ – but not because she really wants to know. ‘Fresh air makes you strong and healthy so that you won’t get sick.’ ‘Why?’ says she. And so it goes, back and forth, all day long.This kind of meaningless argument and explanation will not make her a more cooperative child or give her respect for her father as a reasonable person. She would be happier and get more security from him if he had an air of self-confidence and steered her in a friendly, automatic way through the routines of the day. VIDEOID=5407 What to doWhen your child is young, rely most heavily on physically removing her from dangerous or forbidden situations by distracting her to something interesting but harmless.As your child grows a little older and learns what is dangerous or forbidden, remind him with a matter-of-fact ‘no’ and more distraction. If he wants an explanation or a reason, give it to him in simple terms.But don’t assume that your child wants an explanation for every direction you give. She knows that she is inexperienced. She counts on you to keep her out of danger. It makes her feel safe to have you guiding her, provided you do it tactfully.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles07/09/201107/09/201313/09/2009312961111Eating: the battle of willsFood and eating habits – babies & childrenEating battlesObedience - eatingEating - control and responsibility000Parents can decide what healthy food and snacks they make available and children can be encouraged to decide how much of it they will eat; children may develop bigger problems such as obesity if they are not taught to make responsible choices about food consumption.0Green0-100-30Ellen Satter, a wise nutritionist and family therapist, talks about a ‘division of responsibility in feeding’ which makes a lot of sense to me. She says, parents are responsible for making healthful food available on a regular basis (for young children, this means three meals and three snacks a day). Children are responsible for deciding how much of each food gets eaten at any time.The wisdom of this division of responsibility is that it acknowledges the control that children actually have (just try to force foods down an unwilling child's throat – chances are, he will throw it up at you). It also allows children to grow into the self-control that they need to have for healthy life-long eating habits.Parents who try to over-regulate their children's eating – who do not respect this division of responsibility – often end up with bigger problems. For example, some parents are so concerned that their child may grow up overweight that they actually give their child too little to eat. A quickly growing child may need to eat a lot. If the child grows up never feeling secure that she'll get what she needs, she may well develop a pattern of overeating, as though to stock up for the anticipated shortage.Other parents are concerned that their child isn't eating enough, and they constantly push and prod the child to eat more. Mealtimes are uncomfortable affairs, and the child comes to the table expecting to leave with a stomach ache. Little wonder these children often develop an aversion to eating, and actually eat less than they would, had their parents left it up to them to control their input. Children who are prone to stubbornness often get into a battle of wills around food, and actually go hungry rather than give in to their parents and eat more! Children who are prone to being obedient might dutifully shove the food down. But they never develop a sense of what feels comfortable for them, and perhaps struggle later in life to know how much is enough.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles6/8/20096/8/20116/8/200930721111Temperament: what is it?Baby & child personality and temperamentTemperamentTemperament000The way a child behaves can be the result of many things, including temperament. Discusses what temperament is and whether it can change.00-100-30Most parents and professionals believe that babies are born with very different behavioural styles. Some are relaxed and easygoing, others appear more intense and dramatic. Some seem to move constantly, others are more docile. Some are cheerful most of the time, others are more serious.These inborn differences in how a child responds to the world and to his own body are called temperament. The idea of temperament helps explain how children growing up in the same family often have such different personalities. It also explains why some parents have difficulty raising certain children, but much less difficulty raising other ones.For example, one parent describes her active, intense, quick-witted and strong-willed two-year-old as ‘exhausting’, while another parent, whose own temperament is more compatible, calls him ‘my little sparkler’.Temperament is not something that parents can choose or change for their child. Nor can a child simply decide to change his inborn nature. As a parent, it can be very helpful (and also humbling) to realise that a lot of who your child is, is beyond your control. What you can do is to understand and accept your child's individual make-up and adjust your parenting accordingly.Behavioural styles can changeTemperament tells you about a child's typical behavioural style. Most children have a range of behaviours: loud sometimes, quiet at other times. Many temperament traits also change over time. Active children often grow up into adults who work at desks all day long. Cranky infants often grow up to be happy children. Shy children sometimes grow up to become effective public speakers.Even when temperament traits stay the same, the meaning of those traits often changes with age. An intense and persistent two-year-old has long, loud tantrums. The same child, at 10 years of age, might excel at cricket: his high intensity lets him play harder, and his persistence lets him practise longer to perfect his batting.Sorting out temperamentOne well-known system breaks temperament up into nine categories:activity leveldistractibilityapproach/withdrawalintensity of responsespersistenceadaptabilityquality of moodregularitysensitivity.Your child's temperament has a lot to do with the pleasures and problems you will have raising him. It has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself as a parent. How well you understand your child's temperament, and adjust your parenting to fit it, has a lot to do with his long-term wellbeing.Rightdid you knowVideo TranscriptsRelated articles26/10/201126/10/201306/08/2009160961111Sibling rivalrySibling rivalry100A guide to the causes of sibling rivalry and tips on how parents can handle conflict between siblings, or fighting between brothers and sisters.0Green0-100-30Parents often worry about their children quarrelling or fighting with each other. A certain amount of conflict is normal between children in families. It is one of the ways that they learn how to get on with other people. Sometimes you will need to step in when you can